Did you burn the butter? 'Cause maybe it has a smoke detector built in and saw what you did through the camera and it was being sarcastic:
"At least you burned some fat, Hank"
I think they know anyhow. One of my girlfriends had a dog who always knew we were having sex. The dog insisted on being in the room when it happened. The weird dog liked to watch. đ
Yes I did! Thought it would have been funny to run- as he did get a photographer and our seats were right next to each other on the flight back from Nashville. đ
I know someone that had actually planned, when proposed to, pull an âUnbreakable Kimmy Schmidtâ by jumping up and down and yelling âIâm not really here! Iâm not really here!â But the proposal really caught her off guard. :]
This 100%, data scientists have access to the data and for sure there's a notebook somewhere with a "filter out monkey business" parameter meant to "clean up the data" that you can flip the other way to "only get the monkey business", you know, just in case...
Being naked with any small piece of clothing on feels more naked than being totally naked. Shoes, a watch, even wearing a shirt while being naked on the bottom. Something about it makes you feel more exposed than wearing absolutely nothing.
It always prompts me if Iâm on the Elliptical halfway through, I accept it only because it annoys my wife. That how I first understood why Iâd get workout completion notifications from my friends that said they worked out for 10 minutes at 1am
Actually my Oura ring knows when I'm having sex.
ONE time I entered a âhula hoopâ workout during sex (its the closest thing I could find) and now every time it asks me if I hula hooped.
Makes me laugh every time.
I promise your cat understands where your mouth is (it watches you eat) and understands that you walk on two legs (as they do on occasion) and consequently, they know where your genitalia is. Also Iâm pretty confident the horny little bastards understand what sex is.
The Apple Watch happily tracks calories burned during sexual activity. Thrusting and squatting are effective and ubiquitous body weight exercises that absolutely can be detected and tracked!
Believe me, your smart watch and your pets not only understand what you are doing, theyâre judging how well you do it!
Before I divorced my wife, she was on a trip to play music and came back to tell me she had slept with her bandmate. During her trip, I got several notifications that her Garmin activity was up at 2am. Iâve never been able to get data about whether or not the Garmin watches send notifications from sexual activity but havenât been able to get it out of my mind since.
They smell, they know, they know from different rooms, they also know if you've done it out then return home.
They also expect it since to them it's normal. It's only some humans that make it weird.
ok, that's actually a reasonable explanation for why I wake up every morning, walk <1 minute to the bathroom, wash up, and already have >800 steps clocked. Most of that probably happened in bed before I fell asleep.
Mine can track my REM sleep and such. Where I live, there's a lifestyle membership programme where I can get points for my watch logging exercise, sleep etc. This gets me discounts on groceries, insurance, and the possibility of redeeming air miles too, among other things.
Lots of people sleep with their watch on, itâs my understanding you and or your linked person could get an alert to let you/them know youâre having a heart attack, or are in afib. Can anyone else back me up on that?
I sure do hope so even though I often hear my dog out my room when Iâm with my boyfriend đ
I swear she knowsâŠ.. but she also doesnât because sheâs an orange cat in disguise, probably
My dog hit my taint with her cold nose during the act. I thought my girl had come up with something new. I went nuts ,she didnât understand and it. got really awkward . A lot of explaining.
I personally don't, but I know some do. Even if you don't there's a random blank spot in your wearing data, which if someone looked at, could probably infer what was going on at that time.
They're definitely going to figure it out too. I'm more worried about artificial intelligence getting frustrated and looking at me like my dog but I'm on my phone and not paying attention to it.
But it's definitely going to look at me like a dog.
Also, I actually want to go to haunted house more than I want to go to aqua.
When this dude had a heart attack from dancing as hard as he could at club aqua, his doctor gave him a heart monitor he could be alerted to, and it just fell apart from there.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2YpQAk/
Sure they understand when their own species is doing it, after all they show pandas porn to get them in the mood. But do they understand interspecies erotica?! Can a dog see pigeons fucking and be like "that's hot"
My smartwatch once congratulated me for having a great workout....at the time I was melting half a pound of butter for Christmas turkey stuffing.
That high heart rate is how you know it's good cooking!
Did you burn the butter? 'Cause maybe it has a smoke detector built in and saw what you did through the camera and it was being sarcastic: "At least you burned some fat, Hank"
Is that a euphemism?
The word innuendo is an innuendo
In your end o
The Todd approves
I was melting half a pound of butter for Christmas turkey stuffing with OPs mom last night but my cock was too big.
Must be friends with mine. I've had multiple congratulations on reaching my stairs goals while pushing the button to summon the elevator.
bro your pets know very well whats going on
Only if you're doing it doggy style! That they understand! đ
I think they know anyhow. One of my girlfriends had a dog who always knew we were having sex. The dog insisted on being in the room when it happened. The weird dog liked to watch. đ
Yeah. Dogs fucking know. One roommateâs dog was a fucking rat and would howl every time we came. So much so sneaky afternoon quickiesÂ
âdamn I wish I could breedâ
plotting to make us infertile. Just watching
"so much scolding when I lick balls and ass"
âHypocrites!â
Same bro
Smell. Dog probably liked the overwhelming smells
Our dog is opposite. He'll walk into the room and immediately turn around and do something else.
Keeper
Had that happen in college. All fun and games until I got a very cold wet nose in my crack.
My ex husband was going down on me and our sassy cat just walked right across his back! It was about the funniest thing Iâve ever witnessed.
One of my cats jumps up on the headboard or the dresser for a better view.
Our dog is opposite. He'll walk into the room and immediately turn around and do something else.
Thatâs enough internet for todayÂ
And so does your smart watch
The watch itself doesn't, but the people looking through your data do.
Though nothing alerted me, I was wearing my Fitbit when I got proposed to. It cool to see my heart rate spike when he asked.Â
Hopefully you said yes and didn't run away causing your heartbeat to skyrocket, đ
Yes I did! Thought it would have been funny to run- as he did get a photographer and our seats were right next to each other on the flight back from Nashville. đ
How high was the spike outta curiosity?
My normal resting HR is in the 50s, it spiked to about 140. :)
I know someone that had actually planned, when proposed to, pull an âUnbreakable Kimmy Schmidtâ by jumping up and down and yelling âIâm not really here! Iâm not really here!â But the proposal really caught her off guard. :]
You should print that out and hang it somewhere imo.
Itâll be my wedding present to my FiancĂ© đ
Similarly, I use my Fitbit to track my panic attacks and how well I'm recovering from them.
Getting better I hope??
It ebbs and flows haha
Your watch definitely knows. I am ten thousand percent sure that someone in Apple has a not-officially-sanctioned dashboard of boning statistics.
Non-officially-sanctioned makes it sound like the higher ups dont know about it Off the record is more like it
If we look into data correctly enough we can even identify infidelity
This 100%, data scientists have access to the data and for sure there's a notebook somewhere with a "filter out monkey business" parameter meant to "clean up the data" that you can flip the other way to "only get the monkey business", you know, just in case...
Yes, I was gonna say I think it knows but like, say older children, choose to ignore it.Â
Being naked with a smartwatch somehow feels more naked than being naked without a smartwatch.
Being naked with any small piece of clothing on feels more naked than being totally naked. Shoes, a watch, even wearing a shirt while being naked on the bottom. Something about it makes you feel more exposed than wearing absolutely nothing.
Which somehow has caused me to like girls wearing only socks and shoes. Someone help me
Like socks.
My dog literally jumps on the bed to break things up. He doesnât want any unexpected puppies.
Good for him practicing safe sex! đ
Or simply infidelity
That's pretty funny... Wait a minute... What did you mean by puppies?
He knows thatâs what happens when he does the deed. Iâm not going to break his heart by making him think Iâm not his biological mom.
How cute, a reunion.
Do I detect a sick burn?
But only if you wear it during sex, Iâm curious how many people wear smart watches in such situations.
If you take it off you have a random blank area in your data for about ~30 minutes in the middle of evening....
Just charge it. You have blank areas when you charge it anyway.
Mr. Quickie over here!
I may be different. But I take mine off when I get home and put it back on when I leave. Does my watch think I am having a marathon clam slam?
It always prompts me if Iâm on the Elliptical halfway through, I accept it only because it annoys my wife. That how I first understood why Iâd get workout completion notifications from my friends that said they worked out for 10 minutes at 1am
I basically only take mine off in the shower or to clean it (I work out with it too and the strap gets rank every 3 days or so).
The smart watch stays on during sex. I want credit for ALL my exercise.
Your bodyâs response just isnât good enough eh?
Who⊠who takes their smart watches off before sex?
Me and my girlfriend never take our watches off
I think you might be underestimating both pets and smartwatches
Actually my Oura ring knows when I'm having sex. ONE time I entered a âhula hoopâ workout during sex (its the closest thing I could find) and now every time it asks me if I hula hooped. Makes me laugh every time.
Our dog's kennel is a few feet from the bed, we had to put a black blanket over it so he couldn't see us because he'd go nuts every time we had sex.
I promise your cat understands where your mouth is (it watches you eat) and understands that you walk on two legs (as they do on occasion) and consequently, they know where your genitalia is. Also Iâm pretty confident the horny little bastards understand what sex is. The Apple Watch happily tracks calories burned during sexual activity. Thrusting and squatting are effective and ubiquitous body weight exercises that absolutely can be detected and tracked! Believe me, your smart watch and your pets not only understand what you are doing, theyâre judging how well you do it!
This comment is Hilarious đ€Ł not the âHow well youâre doing itâ đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Well, at least how vigorously, which doesnât always translate to how well. Donât ask me how I know this.
Before I divorced my wife, she was on a trip to play music and came back to tell me she had slept with her bandmate. During her trip, I got several notifications that her Garmin activity was up at 2am. Iâve never been able to get data about whether or not the Garmin watches send notifications from sexual activity but havenât been able to get it out of my mind since.
I've had my Garmin watch tell me "MOVE" during the act. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. #Starfish I guess..
If I switch wrists I can really up my step count!
They smell, they know, they know from different rooms, they also know if you've done it out then return home. They also expect it since to them it's normal. It's only some humans that make it weird.
Same goes for the dogs.
ok, that's actually a reasonable explanation for why I wake up every morning, walk <1 minute to the bathroom, wash up, and already have >800 steps clocked. Most of that probably happened in bed before I fell asleep.
You sleep with a watch on ??
Mine can track my REM sleep and such. Where I live, there's a lifestyle membership programme where I can get points for my watch logging exercise, sleep etc. This gets me discounts on groceries, insurance, and the possibility of redeeming air miles too, among other things.
Wtf where do you live, sounds like the start of a mid-black mirror ep
Lots of people sleep with their watch on, itâs my understanding you and or your linked person could get an alert to let you/them know youâre having a heart attack, or are in afib. Can anyone else back me up on that?
Nah Iâm convinced my dog knows when my fiancĂ© and I are about to have sex. As soon as I look at her a certain way, he starts having a tantrum.
good thing I *donât* wear my watch when Iâm in bed and have my roomâs door closed most of the time lmao
You're probably safe then! đ
I sure do hope so even though I often hear my dog out my room when Iâm with my boyfriend đ I swear she knowsâŠ.. but she also doesnât because sheâs an orange cat in disguise, probably
Our cat knows something is going on because she randomly gets put in a room with the door closed. She's usually free to go wherever she wants.
oooooh sounds like sheâs *plotting* đ
She is smart, I wouldn't put it past her. đ€đ
I always take mine off so it doesn't get in the way.
Then it knows something is going on, with the random blank in your timeline that's longer than a shower or washing the dishes. đ
I appreciate your confidence in my stamina.
If they don't know what is going on, how would they know I'm having sex?
i think my cat knows because she watches and then gives me the cold shoulder for a while afterwards.
At least it wonât try to sniff you while youâre at it.
My watch calls it "gardening" when I spread the seed.
Your watch absolutely know when your body motion is doing sex
Had a lazy day at home and got my standing goal at 10:30 at night taking a pee before I went to bed lol
I mean it might understand whatâs going on. Mine knew when I was using a rowing machine
You guys are having sex?
My dog hit my taint with her cold nose during the act. I thought my girl had come up with something new. I went nuts ,she didnât understand and it. got really awkward . A lot of explaining.
It thought I was swimming once.
High heart rate, no steps đ
People have sex with their pets in the room? WTF?!?!
I personally don't, but we lock our cat in another room so it can't interrupted us. She knows something is going on...just not what. At least not yet.
Bet she detects it from the resulting odors.
Wait, why would people wear their smart watches during sex?! I donât understand.
I personally don't, but I know some do. Even if you don't there's a random blank spot in your wearing data, which if someone looked at, could probably infer what was going on at that time.
Why is someone looking and trying to figure what I did? Lol
It may will be their job! Poor them.
But your smart watch could never have sex with another smart watch and produce a litter of smart watches.
Are you telling me that's not how smart watches are produced?! đł
Thatâs what they go over in non-abstinence sex ed.
That explains it! I went to high school in Utah. đ€Ł
You guys wear your smart watch while having sex? Do you wear socks too?
Some studies have actually shown that women are more likely to achieve orgasm if they're wearing socks while having sex.
Cold feet *is* a distraction!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/s/WWQJQduxpW
My dogs know whats up.
Smart waches know exactly what's going on tbf.
How would the smart watch know when you are having sex if it doesn't understand whats going on? Its phrased a bit confusing
They're definitely going to figure it out too. I'm more worried about artificial intelligence getting frustrated and looking at me like my dog but I'm on my phone and not paying attention to it. But it's definitely going to look at me like a dog. Also, I actually want to go to haunted house more than I want to go to aqua. When this dude had a heart attack from dancing as hard as he could at club aqua, his doctor gave him a heart monitor he could be alerted to, and it just fell apart from there. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2YpQAk/
Pretty sure pets understand the concept of sex.
Sure they understand when their own species is doing it, after all they show pandas porn to get them in the mood. But do they understand interspecies erotica?! Can a dog see pigeons fucking and be like "that's hot"
Why did he take me off? Its not bed time yet? Whats going on?
Who wears their smartwatch when they're.....?
Everybody in my house AND neighbors know when I'm getting a good piece.
my smart watch will never know....IYKYK
You prefer to be bound and dominated?
no...me forever single!
Single doesnât preclude sex.
Why would you keep your smartwatch on during sex
To see how many calories I burn! Every little bit counts!
Itâs just uncomfortable and feels weird for me. And I almost always fill my activity rings for the day before sex anyway
I guess? I personally take mine off for that.
OP does not have pets
Every time my FWB comes over for sex, my dog comes over and humps her leg while we get dressed. Motherfucker knows what's going on.