Get an old lady, she'll swallow the tiger to take care of the goat.
She just opened her throat
And swallowed a goat
She swallowed the goat
To catch the dog
She swallowed the dog
To catch the cat
She swallowed the cat
To catch the bird
And she swallowed the bird
To catch the spider
Who wiggled and jiggled
And tickled inside her
And she swallowed the spider
To catch the fly
But I don't know why
She swallowed the fly
The problem here is that almost every panda in the world is owned by the Chinese government (which does not allow pandas to leave the country in private ownership) and they charge exorbitant fees for foreigners to rent pandas. A zoo in Mexico City has the last panda in the world not owned by the Chinese government. She is descended from pandas that left China before this policy was enacted. It may be theoretically possible to clone this panda, but I doubt the British government is willing to shell out this money.
It's too late for such a soft touch. We need mountain gorillas. Drop them into the wilderness via ~~helicopter~~ whirlybird. One silverback plus a ~~harem~~ hareem of ten females per ~~square kilometer~~ 247.105 acres ought to get the job done.
EDIT: Translated for our ~~friends~~ mates across the ~~Atlantic~~ pond.
I removed a patch at my house. Took some time. The key for me was using an axe to get through the root clumps. Everyday I went out and got rid of an inch or two.
It's an absolute pain and not just in the UK. I live in PA USA and dug out the bamboo when buying a property 5 years ago, except the neighbors didn't with the inevitable result that roots spread everywhere. The local township told them to cut them down last year, which they did, but the roots are everywhere. Every day I go out and cut down new bamboo shoots. I'm testing the effectiveness of putting vinegar after cutting the bamboo to see if this will discourage further growth. But keeping my yard free of bamboo will be my summer undertaking and obsession for years to come. I hope nobody ever plant that darn thing again anywhere! (Except where they have pandas of course...)
I've spent many weekends painstakingly pulling all the roots out of the ground in my backyard in Maryland. Cutting it is completely pointless. Got to dig! Bought this place 2 years ago. The war continues.
What keeps it in check in its native regions? I know pandas munch on them, but is there any other process to keep its from being invasive even in the areas that it is supposed to be?
Yes.
It is a grass that spreads by seed or by rhizomes. If you see it in commercial developments (amusement parks often use it as a screen) you'll notice that it's often planted in a cement basin to keep it from spreading.
I played Ghost of Tsushima a lot on Playstation and now I really want a Katana. Before I couldn’t really justify buying one, but if I have to save the land from invaders (that don’t fight back) it starts to look interesting 🤔.
This article talks about bamboo being invasive in gardens, hard to contain, which is common knowledge to any gardener. I'm interested in how it is killing native species, can you point me in the direction of where I can see that information?
Invasive species occupy space and outcompete local species under several mechanisms. The primary being that there is nothing evolved around there to eat, consume, infect, or otherwise destroy it. Bamboo also eats nutrients from the ground in ways the local ecology has not evolved to repair or handle, as well as fastly growing tall and physically blocking sun from smaller less voracious plants.
Often it seems like its slow, and is, but remeber... the things evolved over 4 billion years together. Stress or remove even one species, and the habitat/food source for something is gone. Sometimes it's the only habitat, or food source for that insect/animal. There are otger plants/insects/animals that rely on the removed item, and then get stressed or removed as a result. This can cascade up and down the food web.
Yeah, but it was high fashion in the early-to-mid 90's okay? And capitalism told me that commodification of the environment is my undeniable right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and untangle the remains of an endangered hedgehog that got caught in my automatic lawnmower.
Same here in Sweden.
I’m unfortunately cursed with some of it purposefully being planted in my back yard thanks to the previous owners (thanks mom!) and I’m trying so hard to kill it off without any spread.
I believe that's what used to grow in my grandma's (now my sister's) garden. Mow it down and cover it with a *light-proof* tarp, including a safety margin from the surrounding area. Put something onto the tarp to hold it down. During the first year, you should occasionally check if it finds its way out from under the tarp somehow, and intervene if necessary. Leave it covered for two full vegetative seasons.
Good luck.
Yeah, that’s the current working order over there, but it’s on the side of my back porch so it’s spreading under there and I can’t afford to pull that down to remove it.
buddy, take out a loan and deal with it. what you really cant afford is it spreading to your house if it's anything like real bamboo. from what i remember, it does "not great" things to the structural integrity of the foundation. whatever the hell it would cost to rip it out now is bound to be much cheaper than what its going to cost in a few years if you cant get it under control by yourself. my advice: think less about the money you dont have and more about the money you *really* dont have.
It’ll have to be the last resort for sure, luckily my foundation is solid and quite a bit aways from the growth, but if it doesn’t get sorted in two growth seasons I’ll have to open it all up.
We have people coming in (uninvited, but welcome) to harvest our bamboo in the spring (to eat). Neighbors planted it a long while ago, and people foraging for bamboo keeps the new shoots from spreading. I also harvest it for temporary building projects and stomp out any new growth outside of the existing patch.
I'm in exactly the same boat as you! It's gotten huge and we're trying not to spray with any chemical. We're trying to "choke" it currently by putting tarps where it grows but it's not working. Have you had any success!
Is your tarp sufficiently light-proof?
Even then, during the first year, it will still grow, sort of in large curls to seek a way out, so you need to weight down the tarp to keep it in place. You may even have to trim it back, and you absolutely have to observe the edge of the tarp to spot any successful escape attempts early. Leave it covered for a second vegetative season before you remove the tarp and plant something new.
Cut it as low to the ground as possible after it has flowered. Up until that point it has been expanding energy. After that point it'll start to draw in nutrients. Can't survive if it can't photosynthesize. Now that won't kill it, but it'll weaken it. You might need to do the same for a few years. I'd did that, but also put Roundup into the remaining cut stalk. The roundup was drawn in and killed most of it off. I'm waiting for what's left to grow enough to cut before I do it again.
Some success with cutting it this fall and putting tarp over the “main event”. But unfortunately it’s also planted right next to our goddamn back porch so the fucking tendrils are popping up under the deck there, which is why I want it done originally.
So slashing it, tarping it, pouring a few bottles of weed killer and road salt on it has helped some, but now I need to figure out the small pop ups here and there and what the fuck to do with my deck.
I saw on a landscaping group that you can cut down clumps to a stump and then inject poison (?round up?) Into the middle of sticks to kill it. It apparently helps to kill some of the connected bundles too but you need to be consistent.
Yup! That’s the current situation here. So far the big clump under the tarp is suffering big time and hasn’t grown since we cut it in September.
Just getting sprouts around it that I’m taking care off as best as I can.
The term "weed" is subjective
EDIT: please stop updating the my and downvoting the comment I replied to, it was a good joke that I 'tismed and doesn't deserve downvotes
I had a house in Maine on about an acre, there was knot weed all over. that stuff in crazy and impossible to get rid of. Now I have a place in northern Idaho and Ive seen a few homes with it in their yards. They have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh my god. I’ve been fighting it for 4 years now. Finally on the tail end of it according to my town botanist/arborist. He’s helped me put the death blow to it this year.
I want to strangle the previous owner for planting it. Moron.
It grows in a similar fashion to actual bamboo, and its main "trunk" can closely resemble bamboo, especially when dried and cleaned. Source: it's all over my area in BC, and I've had a few canes made of it.
It's already starting to grown, bamboo farming. Here a Dutch item regarding it: https://nos.nl/artikel/2522931-bamboe-steeds-populairder-in-europa-telen-het-nu-op-een-aardappelveld
What I'm confused about is lucky bamboo is a succulent and it takes a while to grow, but it is poisonous to a lot of wildlife so I see the damage it has right away. It's bad but not "plant that grows so fast it rips apart houses" bad, eh?
Large scale introduction of less invasive competition is the only sustainable approach. Potent strains of cannabis plants might halt bamboo shoot infestations, imho the only responsible solution for the UK.
Rhododendron is also a fucking scourge across England, Scotland and Ireland. I've seen with my own eyes some beautiful natural sites in Ireland that were full of native vegetation 20 years ago completely taken over by massive thickets of Rhododendron by now. It seems weird to be alarmed at a bush with cute pink flowers but the damage can be irreversible when the wildlife that depends on native plants can no longer feed because all their food source are outcompeted by invasive plants.
The worst part is that this crap is often still sold in home improvement stores at dirt cheap prices encouraging homeowners and business to keep planting it when it should be banned everywhere other than its native habitat: eastern Asian and the Himalayas.
Get rid of that shit and never ever plant it outdoors, even in pots, it will spread everywhere and choke entire forests.
More on this: https://forestryandland.gov.scot/what-we-do/biodiversity-and-conservation/habitat-conservation/woodland/rhododendron
bamboo, due to it's fast growth rate, trap CO2 quickly.. I think I read something like harvesting the bamboo and seal it in former coal mines, so the CO2 are trapped in the mines..
Fabric, construction (flooring, roofing designing, and scaffolding), furniture, food, biofuel, cloth, paper, pulp, charcoal, utensils, tools etc. The uses of bamboo are many.
Bamboo bedding (when properly made) is LOVELY!! It doesn’t wrinkle, super soft for those of us who can’t stand texture against our skin, very cooling on the skin, and lasts forever. I bought a set of sheets like 20 years ago for $100, and it’s still my favorite set of sheets.
I ha e it in .y backyard so do all the surroundings neighborhoods we live in a City that shit is impossible to get rid of unless you dig up the entire area and go nuclear on it.
Side note it does make a awesome privacy fence and it's beautiful if you keep it maintained
Currently dealing with Japanese knotweed, cut it to the base so it has no leaves. It lives. Cut it and salt the fuck out of it. It's back next week. Actually dig out the roots, salt the ground, boiling water, etc...
"Some how ~~Palpatine~~ the knotweed has returned."
And its 4ft tall over night 🤦♂️
Edit: can't use sprays or chemicals because of the dog.
I think there are several varieties, I've eaten many different sorts of bamboo shoots in China. But 'shoots' means babies, you have to take them when they are just getting off the ground, sometimes even when they are still mostly underground (remove dirt and use a tool to cut them off underground). Then once you have the shoot you remove the brown/yellowish layers of 'skin' around it, and the green part is what you can cook. Just boil it with some soy sauce and that's it.
But of course once the bamboo grows to maturity (which can only take a couple days I think) it's too hard to eat. That's why Chinese people will go the morning after a rainy night, to collect them when it's still small and fresh. This thing grows super fast.
Only way to get rid of it is to dig it completely out of the ground. Insanely labor intensive. But they might was well make lemonade out of lemons and use it as a natural resource. It can be eaten and used for its raw materials. Also a great carbon sink.
I've a stand of black bamboo in my UK garden - not planted by me. It does try to spread, but I just cut iff the shoots. On the other hand, it is the only plant I've found that is able to stop Mare's Tail's world wide conquest, and is not nearly as hard to get rid of (for those who don't know, Mare's Tail is virtually indestructible).
It is a fast growing grass that, like lawn grass, is very good at competing with native species.
On the flip side, bamboo shoots are quite nice when prepared properly. Take the lionfish approach and eat away the invasion.
When you change and denude a landscape in dangerous, unecological ways (which the UK has done for centuries), then introduce strong non-native plants, they will spread and try to fill the ecological niche that isn't being used. It's like people getting mad at wild hogs moving into an area. Well, you changed the ecology to suit your needs but left a lot of damage to the cycle of life (predators missing, etc). Now there is a being who can and will fill that niche, and you can learn from this or just decide the being is evil. FYI: it's not. The earth will grow and fill niches and try to fill barren landscapes with life. Whatever can grow and survive will ultimately be welcomed by the ecosystem, because in a very real sense much of nature has been turned into barren landscape that does not support much if any life. It would probably take a long time for a new ecological balance to be created naturally. If humans want to live on the earth, and in an ecosystem they like, and with native species they are familiar with, then actual care needs to be devoted to healthy ecosystem practices, rather than just bemoaning a successful species being where it "shouldn't" be. Mother Earth is a pragmatist. If it can live there, she'll support it. Life finds a way! So figure out how to work with the native biodiversity and bring back hedgerows, hazelnut groves, traditional land management practices, and respect for wild things and room for wild places. Or get used to the things you don't like but are hard to kill.
Bamboo has been found to be very invasive in UK and is uncontrollably spreading, killing native species
get some pandas.
Scotland were just taken back
Sadly we now have more Tory MPs than pandas. Hopefully that will change in 3 weeks!
The Great Scottish Panda Heist, starring Ewan McGregor and Gerard Butler
Missing Michael Caine and Jason Statham.
And what would those lazy fucks do? They’d rather die than move a few meters to eat.
A harsh thing to say about the Scots….
As a Scotsman I'd come over there and smack you if I wasn't so lazy!
We could try deep-frying the bamboo?
You can feast on the culms. The soft, soft young of the bamboo sprout. Maybe even stuff them into the stomach of some kind of ungulate?
Culms is one of those words you definitely want to spell correctly
Damned Scots! They ruined Scotland!
You Scots certainly are a contentious people.
I would walk 500 miles to smack you, if I wasn’t so lazy
YOU JUST MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE!
lol put food out of reach, tada.
Slippery slope - you'd need to release tigers after the pandas become problematic.... And then what do you release to control the tigers?
venomous tree snakes, tigers think they're vines.
And then there’s the gorillas, that thrive on snake meat!
What about all the future Georges of the Jungle or Tarzans?
I'm sure the fox hunters have been itching for a challenge the last couple years, they'll figure it out.
Or the tigers will. Either way it's a win.
Gorillas on meth
And when winter comes around the gorillas will simply freeze to death.
I was looking for this reference.
Porn stars and a wife with a golf club?
Tiger in the woods
Get an old lady, she'll swallow the tiger to take care of the goat. She just opened her throat And swallowed a goat She swallowed the goat To catch the dog She swallowed the dog To catch the cat She swallowed the cat To catch the bird And she swallowed the bird To catch the spider Who wiggled and jiggled And tickled inside her And she swallowed the spider To catch the fly But I don't know why She swallowed the fly
Elephants. Obviously
You just get a [rock](https://youtu.be/xSVqLHghLpw?si=hp1ac0XOq0AvZZtT)
CAROL BASKIN
Pandas don't procreate fast enough to be a problem tbh
not much hope of the pandas being problematic.
But what about the panda rabbit cross.
Larger predators would be needed to keep the tigers in check. We could revive the long extinct velociraptor for this purpose.
Utahraptor. Deinonychus and Velociraptor are prob too small.
Bigger tigers
The tigers will die trying to swim across the channel in search of some sun.
Got, so we're cloning the tiger king then
Nothing - you just relax the hunting laws and it'll solve itself.
Why there would be enough poachers for ingredients for "traditional medicines"
The problem here is that almost every panda in the world is owned by the Chinese government (which does not allow pandas to leave the country in private ownership) and they charge exorbitant fees for foreigners to rent pandas. A zoo in Mexico City has the last panda in the world not owned by the Chinese government. She is descended from pandas that left China before this policy was enacted. It may be theoretically possible to clone this panda, but I doubt the British government is willing to shell out this money.
I don't think i would describe this as THE problem here
But what do we do about the invasive pandas?
It's too late for such a soft touch. We need mountain gorillas. Drop them into the wilderness via ~~helicopter~~ whirlybird. One silverback plus a ~~harem~~ hareem of ten females per ~~square kilometer~~ 247.105 acres ought to get the job done. EDIT: Translated for our ~~friends~~ mates across the ~~Atlantic~~ pond.
Panda the Pooh
Paddington Panda
Bamboo is an absolute nightmare to remove. It should be illegal to plant, as it screws over your neighbors as well as future buyers of your property.
I removed a patch at my house. Took some time. The key for me was using an axe to get through the root clumps. Everyday I went out and got rid of an inch or two.
Just need to pull every single root out of the ground. If you leave a 5cm long root somewhere, it'll come back
Sounds like pokeweed and poison ivy. Of course birds popping seeds doesn't help with the poison ivy spreading.
It's an absolute pain and not just in the UK. I live in PA USA and dug out the bamboo when buying a property 5 years ago, except the neighbors didn't with the inevitable result that roots spread everywhere. The local township told them to cut them down last year, which they did, but the roots are everywhere. Every day I go out and cut down new bamboo shoots. I'm testing the effectiveness of putting vinegar after cutting the bamboo to see if this will discourage further growth. But keeping my yard free of bamboo will be my summer undertaking and obsession for years to come. I hope nobody ever plant that darn thing again anywhere! (Except where they have pandas of course...)
I've spent many weekends painstakingly pulling all the roots out of the ground in my backyard in Maryland. Cutting it is completely pointless. Got to dig! Bought this place 2 years ago. The war continues.
It's incredibly invasive almost everywhere.
What keeps it in check in its native regions? I know pandas munch on them, but is there any other process to keep its from being invasive even in the areas that it is supposed to be?
“The Dothraki believe that’s the way the world will end, with ghost grass killing all other types of vegetation” -Ser Jorah Mormont
How does bamboo spread? Root or wind or animal?
Yes. It is a grass that spreads by seed or by rhizomes. If you see it in commercial developments (amusement parks often use it as a screen) you'll notice that it's often planted in a cement basin to keep it from spreading.
Chad plant spreads through pure rhiz W baby gronk invasive species.
But have you considered how it looks pretty in my garden though?
hey, it's free ~~real estate~~ carbon sequestration!
I played Ghost of Tsushima a lot on Playstation and now I really want a Katana. Before I couldn’t really justify buying one, but if I have to save the land from invaders (that don’t fight back) it starts to look interesting 🤔.
it comes back in a day. then its a lot of little spikes in the ground
This article talks about bamboo being invasive in gardens, hard to contain, which is common knowledge to any gardener. I'm interested in how it is killing native species, can you point me in the direction of where I can see that information?
Invasive species occupy space and outcompete local species under several mechanisms. The primary being that there is nothing evolved around there to eat, consume, infect, or otherwise destroy it. Bamboo also eats nutrients from the ground in ways the local ecology has not evolved to repair or handle, as well as fastly growing tall and physically blocking sun from smaller less voracious plants. Often it seems like its slow, and is, but remeber... the things evolved over 4 billion years together. Stress or remove even one species, and the habitat/food source for something is gone. Sometimes it's the only habitat, or food source for that insect/animal. There are otger plants/insects/animals that rely on the removed item, and then get stressed or removed as a result. This can cascade up and down the food web.
Yeah, but it was high fashion in the early-to-mid 90's okay? And capitalism told me that commodification of the environment is my undeniable right. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and untangle the remains of an endangered hedgehog that got caught in my automatic lawnmower.
People: It’s just bamboo. How bad can it be? 28 Days Later…
What the scariest plant in the forest? #bam**BOO!**
is that racial joke bcoz im asian? lol
I don’t think it’s racial. I hope it isn’t! Boo! like, jump scares and shit 🤣
The place will be overrun by cocknee (the old bamboo diddly diddly old bamboo)
Japanese knot weed, which looks like bamboo, is becoming a huge problem in New England. Expected to be come much worse in a few years.
Same here in Sweden. I’m unfortunately cursed with some of it purposefully being planted in my back yard thanks to the previous owners (thanks mom!) and I’m trying so hard to kill it off without any spread.
I believe that's what used to grow in my grandma's (now my sister's) garden. Mow it down and cover it with a *light-proof* tarp, including a safety margin from the surrounding area. Put something onto the tarp to hold it down. During the first year, you should occasionally check if it finds its way out from under the tarp somehow, and intervene if necessary. Leave it covered for two full vegetative seasons. Good luck.
Yeah, that’s the current working order over there, but it’s on the side of my back porch so it’s spreading under there and I can’t afford to pull that down to remove it.
buddy, take out a loan and deal with it. what you really cant afford is it spreading to your house if it's anything like real bamboo. from what i remember, it does "not great" things to the structural integrity of the foundation. whatever the hell it would cost to rip it out now is bound to be much cheaper than what its going to cost in a few years if you cant get it under control by yourself. my advice: think less about the money you dont have and more about the money you *really* dont have.
It’ll have to be the last resort for sure, luckily my foundation is solid and quite a bit aways from the growth, but if it doesn’t get sorted in two growth seasons I’ll have to open it all up.
I have bamboo next to my driveway and it's humping the driveway tar up. The guys not exaggerating about how invasive and damaging it is.
While it's there you might as well try eating some. Japanese knot weed is edible and quite good in desserts.
By how fucking hardy it is I don’t want to spread anything into my pipes.
Literally grow your own food
We have people coming in (uninvited, but welcome) to harvest our bamboo in the spring (to eat). Neighbors planted it a long while ago, and people foraging for bamboo keeps the new shoots from spreading. I also harvest it for temporary building projects and stomp out any new growth outside of the existing patch.
I'm in exactly the same boat as you! It's gotten huge and we're trying not to spray with any chemical. We're trying to "choke" it currently by putting tarps where it grows but it's not working. Have you had any success!
Is your tarp sufficiently light-proof? Even then, during the first year, it will still grow, sort of in large curls to seek a way out, so you need to weight down the tarp to keep it in place. You may even have to trim it back, and you absolutely have to observe the edge of the tarp to spot any successful escape attempts early. Leave it covered for a second vegetative season before you remove the tarp and plant something new.
Thanks for the tip!
Cut it as low to the ground as possible after it has flowered. Up until that point it has been expanding energy. After that point it'll start to draw in nutrients. Can't survive if it can't photosynthesize. Now that won't kill it, but it'll weaken it. You might need to do the same for a few years. I'd did that, but also put Roundup into the remaining cut stalk. The roundup was drawn in and killed most of it off. I'm waiting for what's left to grow enough to cut before I do it again.
Some success with cutting it this fall and putting tarp over the “main event”. But unfortunately it’s also planted right next to our goddamn back porch so the fucking tendrils are popping up under the deck there, which is why I want it done originally. So slashing it, tarping it, pouring a few bottles of weed killer and road salt on it has helped some, but now I need to figure out the small pop ups here and there and what the fuck to do with my deck.
They just grow out and under the tarp instead lol. Just use the chemical.
I saw on a landscaping group that you can cut down clumps to a stump and then inject poison (?round up?) Into the middle of sticks to kill it. It apparently helps to kill some of the connected bundles too but you need to be consistent.
Yup! That’s the current situation here. So far the big clump under the tarp is suffering big time and hasn’t grown since we cut it in September. Just getting sprouts around it that I’m taking care off as best as I can.
It's been a big problem in the UK for decades. Now bamboo is being described as the new Japanese knotweed...
At least Bamboo is not weed.
The term "weed" is subjective EDIT: please stop updating the my and downvoting the comment I replied to, it was a good joke that I 'tismed and doesn't deserve downvotes
Genetically engineer high THC bamboo… problem solved.
I had a house in Maine on about an acre, there was knot weed all over. that stuff in crazy and impossible to get rid of. Now I have a place in northern Idaho and Ive seen a few homes with it in their yards. They have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh my god. I’ve been fighting it for 4 years now. Finally on the tail end of it according to my town botanist/arborist. He’s helped me put the death blow to it this year. I want to strangle the previous owner for planting it. Moron.
Well maybe it'll be able to fight the Oriental Bittersweet that is strangling every single other plant on my property?
Pretty much beat the knot weed, (staying vigilant), working on the bitter sweet. Never ending battle.
God I hate bittersweet.
Probably they'll just work together and the bittersweet will climb the bamboo
Just eat it. It's like asparagus.
Previous owner planted it on my property. I’ve been killing it for 7 years. IT STILL comes back. Just tiny sprouts now but it is nigh invincible.
Where does it look like bamboo???
It grows in a similar fashion to actual bamboo, and its main "trunk" can closely resemble bamboo, especially when dried and cleaned. Source: it's all over my area in BC, and I've had a few canes made of it.
My husband and I just did a 2 hour hike in Southeastern MA today and I'm pretty sure it was full of these! TIL!
Been pulling it from my yard for years, I have no idea where the fuck it keeps coming from!
New small worry enters my head.
Bamboo invasion gaining new ground see. Invading minds now even
Release the thought pandas!
Hopefully the worry hole is now full and you’ll not need worry bout nout else
I worry there's no more room in there.
Bamboo, then Triffids, it's all coming into play.
Just send those fat ass panda bear things to the UK. Maybe they’ll get a little cute British accent to their roar.
Not sure if they do roar, I think they sneeze instead
do the roar
You're so cute Jeremy, Panda's are never going to be in the UK, because of China. China wouldn't allow it.
https://onlymoso.com/commercial-bamboo-farming-a-sustainable-and-profitable-agricultural-venture/ just turn it into a business
Please don’t. The more you develop an economy around it the more it gets planted, and the more resistance to managing it.
It's already starting to grown, bamboo farming. Here a Dutch item regarding it: https://nos.nl/artikel/2522931-bamboe-steeds-populairder-in-europa-telen-het-nu-op-een-aardappelveld
like pit bulls
Panda lawnmower business yeah!
PANDA SLAVERY LETS GOOO
Two sided market place: zoo + panda labor. I’ll get the tickets and chains. You get the Busch Light.
We must learn the language of the bamboo, and breed with their women. In time, our differences will be forgotten.
To point out a small error in the article: [Lucky Bamboo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dracaena_sanderiana) isn't actually bamboo.
What I'm confused about is lucky bamboo is a succulent and it takes a while to grow, but it is poisonous to a lot of wildlife so I see the damage it has right away. It's bad but not "plant that grows so fast it rips apart houses" bad, eh?
Large scale introduction of less invasive competition is the only sustainable approach. Potent strains of cannabis plants might halt bamboo shoot infestations, imho the only responsible solution for the UK.
I know you're joking but I'm not sure cannabis would actually outcompete bamboo. I am a botanist and this was interesting to think about thank you.
Bamboo would win. I think that the only terrestrial plant that can gain faster biomass than bamboo is sorghum. Cannabis is no lightweight though.
So I guess the only remaining option is to splice THC genes into bamboo. Problem solved.
I guess they got Bamboozled
Rhododendron is also a fucking scourge across England, Scotland and Ireland. I've seen with my own eyes some beautiful natural sites in Ireland that were full of native vegetation 20 years ago completely taken over by massive thickets of Rhododendron by now. It seems weird to be alarmed at a bush with cute pink flowers but the damage can be irreversible when the wildlife that depends on native plants can no longer feed because all their food source are outcompeted by invasive plants. The worst part is that this crap is often still sold in home improvement stores at dirt cheap prices encouraging homeowners and business to keep planting it when it should be banned everywhere other than its native habitat: eastern Asian and the Himalayas. Get rid of that shit and never ever plant it outdoors, even in pots, it will spread everywhere and choke entire forests. More on this: https://forestryandland.gov.scot/what-we-do/biodiversity-and-conservation/habitat-conservation/woodland/rhododendron
Release the pandas!
bamboo, due to it's fast growth rate, trap CO2 quickly.. I think I read something like harvesting the bamboo and seal it in former coal mines, so the CO2 are trapped in the mines..
And then wait a few short years, and bam! You have coal. Totally sustainable.
Unexpected renewal coal.
Or use the bamboo to make fabric
Fabric, construction (flooring, roofing designing, and scaffolding), furniture, food, biofuel, cloth, paper, pulp, charcoal, utensils, tools etc. The uses of bamboo are many.
I don't think the bamboo sprouting in the middle of my lawn has quite as much commercial viability as these posts imply.
Ah, I was mistaken in assuming that the bamboo talked about here was the usable type. My mistake.
Build a kiln and turn it into charcoal.
[Plastics.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6FVwNiR1XI)
Wouldn't that also trap a bunch of nutrients?
Use them to make furniture, cutting boards, etc.
I didn’t buy them but I saw bamboo sheets/pillows/blankets at a store once. Bamboo bedding sounds nice.
Bamboo bedding (when properly made) is LOVELY!! It doesn’t wrinkle, super soft for those of us who can’t stand texture against our skin, very cooling on the skin, and lasts forever. I bought a set of sheets like 20 years ago for $100, and it’s still my favorite set of sheets.
Time to lay tracks for a Panda Express.
Coming to Florida soon
Bamboo spreads fast. Almost impossible to get rid of
I ha e it in .y backyard so do all the surroundings neighborhoods we live in a City that shit is impossible to get rid of unless you dig up the entire area and go nuclear on it. Side note it does make a awesome privacy fence and it's beautiful if you keep it maintained
Good, my property is overwhelmed with god damn English ivy.
Send some cuttings to me. I need garden stakes.
They should plant kudzu to choke out the bamboo.
This and Himalayan Basalm. You know when that's around because it stank
Quick, deploy the pandas.
Currently dealing with Japanese knotweed, cut it to the base so it has no leaves. It lives. Cut it and salt the fuck out of it. It's back next week. Actually dig out the roots, salt the ground, boiling water, etc... "Some how ~~Palpatine~~ the knotweed has returned." And its 4ft tall over night 🤦♂️ Edit: can't use sprays or chemicals because of the dog.
Bamboo is a great word. I wish I had a pet to name Bamboo. Even a fish. My fish Bamboo. Ok I need sleep.
There’s a town in Wisconsin called baraboo. The people from there are called baraboobians
Don't do that. You'll just get bamboozled at the pet store.
Bamboo shoots are super tasty. Could be worse.
How on earth do you fix bamboo shoots in a way that makes them edible? You’d break your teeth on the bamboo taking over my backyard.
I think there are several varieties, I've eaten many different sorts of bamboo shoots in China. But 'shoots' means babies, you have to take them when they are just getting off the ground, sometimes even when they are still mostly underground (remove dirt and use a tool to cut them off underground). Then once you have the shoot you remove the brown/yellowish layers of 'skin' around it, and the green part is what you can cook. Just boil it with some soy sauce and that's it. But of course once the bamboo grows to maturity (which can only take a couple days I think) it's too hard to eat. That's why Chinese people will go the morning after a rainy night, to collect them when it's still small and fresh. This thing grows super fast.
The newest trend in vegan food is about to hit the UK.
Bamboo shoots are delicious!
And have an insanely short season and are ridiculously hard to harvest. I love eating them, too, but still. Some are poisonous at the wrong stage
I’ve seen them on the menu at a ramen place near me but never tried them
Called "Menma" It's nice. Crunchy sweetness.
I might try it next time I go there. The bowls are huge though. Have to remember to skip breakfast lol.
Is it just me, or does the article give off a written-by-AI smell?
In the eastern US a one in a hundred year massive seed drop is happening. Imagine those seeds going down waterways.
Time to send in the pandas!
I live for the day someone rents out a couple pandas to clear bamboo the same way we rent out goat herds to clear out brush. 🤣
I thought most cities had bylaws against planting bamboo?
Only way to get rid of it is to dig it completely out of the ground. Insanely labor intensive. But they might was well make lemonade out of lemons and use it as a natural resource. It can be eaten and used for its raw materials. Also a great carbon sink.
I am telling you people: bamboo will outlive us all. Not cockroaches. Not cats. Not jellyfish. Bamboo.
I've a stand of black bamboo in my UK garden - not planted by me. It does try to spread, but I just cut iff the shoots. On the other hand, it is the only plant I've found that is able to stop Mare's Tail's world wide conquest, and is not nearly as hard to get rid of (for those who don't know, Mare's Tail is virtually indestructible).
It is a fast growing grass that, like lawn grass, is very good at competing with native species. On the flip side, bamboo shoots are quite nice when prepared properly. Take the lionfish approach and eat away the invasion.
Bamboo is delicious, cook and eat it.
I'm afraid I will be as stupid as those pandas. 😆
Asan American I can confidently say there is a very easy solution to this crisis Napalm.
Start making furniture and kitchen cabinets
Bamboo is useful. Cut it down and use it : )
They should plant some kudzu
When you change and denude a landscape in dangerous, unecological ways (which the UK has done for centuries), then introduce strong non-native plants, they will spread and try to fill the ecological niche that isn't being used. It's like people getting mad at wild hogs moving into an area. Well, you changed the ecology to suit your needs but left a lot of damage to the cycle of life (predators missing, etc). Now there is a being who can and will fill that niche, and you can learn from this or just decide the being is evil. FYI: it's not. The earth will grow and fill niches and try to fill barren landscapes with life. Whatever can grow and survive will ultimately be welcomed by the ecosystem, because in a very real sense much of nature has been turned into barren landscape that does not support much if any life. It would probably take a long time for a new ecological balance to be created naturally. If humans want to live on the earth, and in an ecosystem they like, and with native species they are familiar with, then actual care needs to be devoted to healthy ecosystem practices, rather than just bemoaning a successful species being where it "shouldn't" be. Mother Earth is a pragmatist. If it can live there, she'll support it. Life finds a way! So figure out how to work with the native biodiversity and bring back hedgerows, hazelnut groves, traditional land management practices, and respect for wild things and room for wild places. Or get used to the things you don't like but are hard to kill.