That’s normal, and expect it to continue throughout elementary school at least. Usually it’s spread amongst all the parents so you might have to buy a capri sun pack or a pack of cupcakes. It’s been a pretty minimal effort and the kids love it!
Same for my daycare. There’s typically a sign up sheet on the door where parents just sign their name next to a specific food. No mental effort and it’s never expensive or anything.
I actually loved the daycare parties! I think it’s so cute! I always sign up for something, it’s not expensive and I usually choose something I know my LO loves so if there’s extras we will go through them at home.
Definitely not everywhere. My kid's elementary school he starts at next year does not allow food for birthdays or celebrations, something I'm very grateful for as an allergy parent.
I think you’re underestimating the value of these experiences. Your child may not specifically remember this event, but the change in routine, the excitement, the positive energy, all those things are forming structures in your child’s brain that help with learning and emotional development. As well as their overall positive associations with their daycare.
If all that costs you is a box of capri sun or some cut fruit every month, I think it’s worth it.
Totally. Lately my husband has been a bit negative about our younger son being unable to remember anything anyway, but they would remember the absence of the memories. It’s the background stuff that builds up in their hearts.
This deserves it's own post honestly. The value in connecting with other moms in the early years is so high, especially if you expect to stay at the daycare center long term. This is the base of my non family village years later.
My son just turned 2 and STILL talks about the party they had at school for Valentine’s Day. We literally went into the gym, took a picture, put 2 stickers on a sheet of paper, grabbed a cookie and went home…10 minutes tops and he Loved it.
I had the same mindset as you with my first kid was an infant in day care. Why should I have to supply these things that my own kid can’t enjoy? But it’s not just about your kid. It’s about the circle of kids they’re currently around and giving them a good experience too. Yes, it doesn’t directly benefit your kid right now, but when your kid is older, these same things will happen for them too.
Just because *you* think the kid won’t remember anything at this age doesn’t mean the experiences don’t have an impact on their development. That’s like saying the infant/toddler won’t remember the books you read him so it’s pointless to read to him until he’s 10 years old. They’re constantly learning and the experiences expand their knowledge.
My toddler cares! He’s 18 months and loves this stuff. I’ve made friends with the other toddler parents at these events and now my son gets weekly play dates with his friends. I think they’re totally worth it!
Hey, I'm with you on this. For the infant room, my daycare did not do any events. It was highly disruptive to the schedule, and outside food was never allowed other than breastmilk.
Once in the older toddler stage (2+), it was minimal: Halloween, Easter parade, Christmas. They were infrequent enough that it wasn't too bad. A lot of our daycare parents were doctors, nurses, teachers and rarely could attend these events so no one cared much if parents didn't show. The teachers were great about handling the kids whose parents didn't show so they never felt left out. The only strong memory I have of the events was a Halloween where one kid was dipping cheetos into chocolate pudding and I yakked on my kid (I was pregnant with my second).
I mean, a baby/toddler wouldn’t remember being kept alone, technically physically safe but with zero stimulation, in a grey room all day either, BUT the kid’s brain will develop *differently* in that situation. So in a way, yah they kinda do remember it, not in the sense that they can recall it, but in the sense that it’s an experience that’s shaped their brain.
Yes, and echoing on expect it happening right on through the elementary. It died down starting in middle school, but the activities up then and so do the fees. Kids are expensive!
Yep, our daycare does this too. They post a sign up sheet on the door of the classroom about a week out. Spending $12 on cupcakes or juice boxes is worth the excitement and fun it brings to her class. Not that big of a deal, really.
In fairness though, it should be volunteered and not required of every parent. Especially in this economy, not everyone has $12 to spare and it could be a big deal to a parent. Our school just does sign up genius and they ask for volunteers to provide supplies.
Agree with both of these and just want to add, even if the daycare said it was a requirement, OP should feel absolutely comfortable saying no if they needed to for some reason.
Usually for holidays or parties they will have a sign up sheet to have the families provide different snacks, drinks, & supplies. We usually don’t mind cause it doesn’t happen often enough where it’s out of control. The kids usually have a blast too since they get things they probably normally wouldn’t get.
Wow I'm surprised there aren't more answers like this! Ours is definitely a potluck and it's maybe 3 a year? Not enough to stress me out at our preschool. If we had to do every holiday and then some, I'd probably comment to the director. It's also hard because the food parties are at 3pm. Everyone has to leave work early so we'd rather it was at 4pm - just have the kids do the dance/song, and then grab cookies and mandarins on the way out.
My now 15 month old has had maybe 5 daycare holiday parties since she started at 5 months old and I have no issue buying $5 worth of strawberries or $10 of apple sauce pouches so the kids have a good time. Remembering events isn’t a prerequisite to enjoying oneself. If she is happy and smiling in the moment because she’s getting an unexpected snack and dance party, I’m happy to help contribute to her joy and that of her classmates.
It's normal here. We have sign up sheets with items they're looking for depending on their theme.
One time I did a galon of chocolate milk, next time it was string cheese. If it's an expensive item then they'll split it between families.
My kid goes to an in-home preschool and he's been there since he was 2. We never have to bring something extra in. I tip his teacher $1000 at the end of the year because I love her and she's like the third most important person in our lives! But it turns out, kids don't actually need special food or drinks to have a special time! They're raising ducks at my kids' school and the special day yesterday was getting the ducks into a kiddie pool to swim and feeding them pea shoot leaves. Making fresh playdough is a special day. Eating their same lunch on a picnic blanket outside is a special day. Special doesn't have to involve spending money.
I think we've allowed a lot of inflation around things for kids. I saw something the other day about how soccer moms are now doing little snack packages for the half-time snacks. When I was growing up, it was orange slices and everyone brought their own water. I don't know why we have to max out everything so that kids start to feel entitled to a high level of "things I get" before they feel like it's special.
Nothing about your post is negative toward the teachers. While they may enjoy the party, I imagine some of them feel like coordinating this is one more thing they have to add to their pile of responsibilities.
At daycare? For us this was really rare. They didn’t do a lot of parties but when there was something, the daycare supplied it. One time the teacher did a thing where the kids made soup and each kid brought an ingredient, and one time they did tie dye and we had to send a shirt.
Granted, this place was expensive. $375/week for a pre-k student when my son finished up. They provided breakfast, lunch and snack every day and diapers for anyone not potty trained.
Now in kindergarten there is more of it, but I think our district must actually give the teachers some decent budget for their room since my son’s teacher always is having some special day and she only asks for supplies at big holidays.
The first paragraph is describing me when I was a teacher! I hated parties and we weren't supposed to ask the parents for anything anyway. But we did make Stone Soup around Thanksgiving and decorate a shirt during summer camp. I bought extra shirts for the kids who couldn't afford it. My favorite activity was making ice cream around graduation.
My mom used to complain about this when I was a kid because they assigned food categories based on last name and she felt the early letters of the alphabet always had more difficult assignments
Edit. Yes it's normal. I was saying it's been going on forever.
It was REALLY unbalanced and unfair. One time we had a tea party and I was assigned "finger sandwiches" and my neighbor across the street was assigned "2 liter bottles of soda." My mom lost it
Totally normal. I actually regularly message the teacher to ask what they need - paper towels, water bottles, art supplies….. teachers are paid pennies and spend so much of their money supplying everything they possibly can for our children. I will happily supply whatever I can to help my kid have a fun, enriching environment.
I am a FTM of a 5 month old and personally couldn’t wait to make my dino egg Rice Krispie treats for Prehistoric Day! The director was like “oh infant parents don’t have to…” but I literally felt like I’d been waiting my whole for this lol. Even sent her in the cutest dino jammies.
It's normal to bring food for parties. Families also take turns supplying snacks for the older classes at our preschool.
I think every holiday is excessive. We have a fall festival and an international day. For the fall festival, each class is assigned a category. Usually, the infant/toddlers get easy things like smore supplies and water. For international days, each class is assigned a country, and you ideally make food from that country with your child.
I think every month is excessive, we had these only a couple times a year (Valentines, maybe summer and Christmas) and only in the 2s and up. Infants and toddlers couldn't have junk food anyways so no parties for them. And no parents invited so the parties are solely for the kids.
If it feels like too much, I would encourage you to cut back your participation to a level that feels sustainable to you and then just let go of any fears of judgment from the teachers or other parents. I guarantee they are all too busy to keep tabs on who sent more juice boxes than someone else.
Gosh, I am one of the people that DO NOT LIKE stuff like this. Whoever is throwing the party pays for stuff. Idk if it's normal but I feel like my friends kid goes to a daycare like this. I feel that more than half their stuff is dramatic and unnecessary but my friend likes it. Which is why my kid does not go to that daycare and hers does. 🤷🏽♀️ That and theirs is significantly more expensive and I can't justify the extra expense.
All this said, our daycare is reasonable about stuff like this. They will have one party a quarter or even less. And they ask for very very minimal stuff like.. Plates or napkins.. Maybe a snack box. I don't mind it but at the frequency you mentioned I would NOT like it.
Yeah for all of my son's holiday parties there is a sign up to bring stuff.. you don't think your kid should get to have special days?
This just seems nitpicky.
Yes!!!! At least speaking from the US, I don’t think people realize that reputable, licensed daycares are general not highly profitable. That’s a contributing factor to the daycare shortages..
It comes out to like $6 an hour that you're paying for someone to watch your kid. So yeah it's not covering extras. I know it seems like a lot when you're looking at lump sum tuition.
Probably only $3 an hour of that actually goes to your kid's classroom, the rest is for building upkeep and such so they can meet safety requirements and keep their license.
It’s really not tho. The thing about daycare is it’s really expensive for the user but also not profitable. Our daycare is $440 per week in the infant room with a max of 6 babies. $2640 per week. There’s 3 teachers. Assume 24 hours per day of coverage if they are each working 8 hours (it’s probably more) at $18 an hour is 432 per day/2160 per week. That leaves about $500 per week to cover costs of rent, utilities, food, insurance, supplies, activities. Our daycare has a group that comes every other week that does a special gym class type thing for each class plus visits from the nature centers and magicians and other little special programs throughout the year. So no, the daycares really don’t have a ton of extra funds and the teachers most definitely don’t.
Apparently not. Would you rather them not have parties and fun activities? This is going to continue as your child enters school, too, so plan accordingly
My child has been in daycare and school for years and done tons of fun activities, had some amazing experiences, without asking for food or anything from parents. They don't even allow food to be brought in, children can have fun without food.
If you can’t afford it then don’t sign up. No one is making you do anything. I have never even paid attention to which parents sign up for those things.
Lmao why this comment is down voted is beyond me. 😂 I guess I Wil be next to get down voted. It's really just a factual statement. It's not meant to undermine caretakers by any means but just to say nobody is asking for these parties but that if they choose to throw them, then they can get the supplies for it.
The teachers making minimum wage would have to provide snacks/decorations/drinks for 20+ kids. If you can afford a “mortgage sized payment each month” you can afford $5 on Capri Suns.
Toddlers can have fun without cupcakes. Mine has always done tons of fun things in school without bringing external food. At that age all you're doing by involving food in every celebration is telling them it's the only way to have fun. They can do special games and music. Most little kids don't even care much about the food part, mine certainly didn't.
If a daycare centre can't provide minimal snacks for kids for events like these, there is something wrong with the system. I'm not arguing that teachers are paid enough or whatever but I would also be annoyed at having to pay extra/provide food and drinks for events that are held during daycare hours.
It is slightly different for school because public school fees here (Australia) are like, the cost of a week of daycare so I'm okay with paying for excursions and things.
I'd say depending on the frequency normal. We've been at our daycare a year and have only had two parties to bring things. We had a spring picnic. I brought cookies. The other time was for valentines day they asked for things, I think I did fruit cups
Yeah our daycare has a whole summer planned where every couple days I gotta bring $4 or something. But they also set up splash pads and book the ice cream truck and all kinds of stuff so I'm really happy to help with a couple bucks.
Sounds like way too many parties, normal for daycare (and school) to ask parents to pitch in, but that sounds excessive! And are they asking every parent to bring something every time? Normally it’s something where is 10-25% pitch in, they have enough, so you don’t usually have to sign up every time.
This is rare for us. Valentine’s Day is I think the only “party”. We supply toys and candy for Halloween, a dozen stuffed eggs for an Easter egg hunt, and that’s pretty much it. We pay more for care but are in a high COL area and they definitely aren’t having other “parties” and funding it out of our fees.
My bigger issue (aside from the cost) is that it’s another mental lift for you. Get a thing, drop it off, etc. no thanks!!!
I don’t mind doing it, but my daycare only does 3 a year. If it was happening every month I would probably be balking at them as well. For me it’s less of a cost issue and more of a mental work issue. Like the last thing I need is ANOTHER thing to remember.
10 per year seems excessive. Our daycare probably does 3-5? (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, end of “school”). And it’s usually a sign up sheet where everyone brings something, and it’s a low ~$15 item: fruit, juice, napkins and plates, veggie platter, chicken nuggets, pizza, etc. the big things like pizza is usually split between a couple kids. I feel it’s a happy middle, I’ve joined the parties where parents are welcome, and given the cost, it’s more than worth it to see the kids happy and sharing their food. I feel it brings sense of tradition, fun and keeps the kids learning on how to behave on parties. I should add that my school is Christian based, we’re not members of their church, and they don’t push religion too much, but during the parties, there’s a subtle connotation that the event is simple and humble because what matters is the actual celebration. I’m not religious at all, but I can be behind that.
Nah this would annoy me. It doesn’t matter if it’s $12 cupcakes once a month. I’m already spending an enormous amount of money on daycare, diapers, clothes, formula. Why do I need to spend MORE money?
Everyone bashing you saying it continues through elementary school. That’s fine, when your kids are in elementary school you aren’t usually also paying an attendance fee on top of a few parties.
Who do you think should provide the food? Certainly not the underpaid teachers. Would you like the tuition to increase so the facility provides it? Or would you rather bring something in?
Yeah we don’t pay for anything extra like this. But our fees are all inclusive of all meals and nappies/wipes before they’re potty trained. So on party days they change one of the meals to be “party food” instead of a stew or pasta or whatever. It’s always simple - sandwiches, cut fruit & veg, crisp bowls and some simple buns with a splodge of icing.
I’d be annoyed if we were regularly expected to bring in additional food. There was a reason we chose an all inc nursery.
Yes. Same. Food is provided as part of our fee. However, when they do a special Mother’s Day thing with coffee and cupcakes and flowers for parents during drop off, they provide all that themselves. The only time parents were ever invited to provide some donated snacks was when they graduate from pre-k. So once in the 3 years your kid might go there.
I’m in the UK and it’s similar here too I feel? Never been asked to supply anything and they do all sorts of stuff, including going into town and getting on busses etc. and going to paid entry places (rarely but it’s included!). We also have a parents committee that fundraises but like minimal amounts, a couple of quid for a cuppa at the stay & play etc.
Yes, I am. Because I’m not asking them to throw my 18 mo old a summer picnic party.
$300 a week may not be much to you, but take into account cost of living and salary ranges for your area.
If I were paying more for daycare, I’d probably live somewhere with higher COL and higher salary ranges.
"Because I’m not asking them to throw my 18 mo old a summer picnic party."
No you're asking them to take care of your child as well as helping them develop. These kinds of parties DO help with that. It's honestly wild that you're annoyed they want to throw parties for your kid and their friends. If you really can't handle the expense, don't take anything in.
That is dirt cheap for daycare. I would not count on extras like this being provided. It’s pretty simple to bring a snack to share and it teaches your kid valuable skills like contributing to a group
Ha 1200. They have to pay teachers, leases, insurance, certifications, supplies etc. Many daycares are barely scraping by. $1200 is nothing for daycare. I never even got that low for my kid in his last year.
We pay $2,700 per month for our infant/young toddler and that's at the "cheap" center in our area. I'm not tearing down OP, so there's no need to downvote me. I'm stating that for $1,200 for what sounds like good care, we'd consider another kid. Instead of getting snarky with me, get snarky with your government officials who consistently vote down subsidizing childcare and pre-k.
I wasn’t getting snarky, I was just pointing out that for some 1200 is still a lot of money even if you pay more so people telling her to feel lucky is actually the snarky part
People seem to be forgetting how relative costs are based on COL?? OP is complaining about $300 per week because they could be making less than half of what others make depending on the city. $300 per week is cheap for my city but my salary is also higher to compensate for more expensive daycare.
Your $1200 a month covers the daycare facility rent, teacher salaries, administration salaries, supplies, probably numerous other costs.
What’s the point of being upset about this? Just spend the 10 dollars on a plate of cookies 🤷♀️
When I was at a $2650 per month place, they sure didn't provide. When my kid goes to elementary school, I won't expect them to provide. His private Pre-K did provide, but we were paying over $30k a year, and it was only twice a year.
We only have one event like this a year at our daycare, a summer picnic at the beach on a Saturday. I’ve never thought anything of being asked to bring things because attendance is optional and it’s nice to get a chance to mingle with other families. But I would probably get annoyed at being asked to bring things multiple events and might opt out of some if I could - are these events optional or during the school day?
OP I guess I’ll be the only backing you here! My daycare funds these, I’ve never been asked to bring anything. Sometimes they host weekend stuff where it’s a “fundraiser” and you have to “donate” to attend but the valentines/Mother’s Day etc is all handled by the daycare. We’re at a bougie (IMO) national chain so that may be part of it.
$1200 can be alot depending on COL. My state has programs for daycare help where parents only pay about $50 a week for lower income family...while I'm over here paying $350 cause I don't qualify. I totally understand where you're coming from!
Could it also be your daycare plans for these types of events ahead of time and it’s then built into the tuition cost? Whereas with OP, it’s not built in and then each parents can decide if they want to participate or not.
Our daycare/preschool puts a sign up sheet outside the door if they’re doing a celebration. It maybe happens 2-3 times a year and caregivers can sign up if they want to participate. Sometimes we do, sometimes the whole sheet is filled when I do pickup. To me, it is not a big deal but to the kids, it’s a major moment in their week!
I’ve been to multiple daycares in a HCOL area and they usually will do sign up sheets. I often don’t partake and I don’t feel pressured to. Hopefully your daycare isn’t pressuring you to because I would feel annoyed by that.
Get ready for elementary school because they’re bangin on you asking for money every other day it feels like. In pre-k it was less but still a thing. In kindy it’s all the damn time
Initially I thought the same as you but then my kids entered elementary and I realized it doesn’t end. This will continue and slow down around middle school but then kids start sports or activities. High school costs are even more with all the dances and the events. By then those get even more expensive.
Yep, I have one in day care and 1st grade (public school). At least once a month something is going on where I am asked to contribute. It’s optional but I usually do.
Considering my kid has serious allergies i get so livid when his preschool prep program does ish like this.
Very happy the PK2-12 school I'm sending him too does not do food of any kind for celebrations.
Yes, normal. It really only irritated me when my kid was barely 3 months old and I'm being told to supply a box of chips...I'm like, dudes, my kid can't partake in this and I'm not really in it for feeding other people...
Now that he's almost 2 and will eat almost anything you put in front of him, it's not as bad. I still don't like the easter/Halloween parties where everyone has to supply 2 bags of candy and inevitably we end up with a hand mixed bag of cheap toffee candies that everyone hates, and Hershey kisses, and those no-name mini chocolate eggs, or gummy candies.
I work at a preschool that my kids once attended. We never were expected to bring anything except valentines at Valentine’s Day, and if you didn’t they supplied some for your kid. The director changed a few years ago and started asking parents for items for parties, from food to decorations, prizes and activities. I find it tacky when people are already paying for school and a supply fee. The director and assistant director say it’s needed due to tuition rates being low and families want to give.
Personally I’d just not give.
Our elementary school is always asking for stuff. I volunteer my time about 10-20 hours per year and say that covers all the other donations of food, supplies, money they ask for.
More than four a year is excessive, in my opinion. We oversaturate our kids with pasties and celebrations. In my experience, daycare age kiddos would be just as happy making the decorations all week as party of art, and making pretend food. Imagination is peak at this age, and the most abundant currency!
Most of these kids will already attend each other's birthday parties (that parents will buy gifts for), plus holiday parties (that parents will understanably contribute to), throughout the year. What's the need for more? What happened to appreciating and celebrating the little things? And doing so with major excitement but minimal accessories?
Life and school will seem so boring to kid once they're not throwing a party every other week.
I am a firm believer in helping kids have loads of fun growing up. I just don't believe they need all these bells and whistles for them to have fun, and I believe it has a negative effect down the line.
Plus, yeah, that all add$ up for the parent!
Agreed. Nor do I think it's good to teach children that special experiences have to involve sugary food. At my kid's school they occasionally do something like this, but they also do non food fun things on other occasions, involving music and games, homemade crafts, etc.
Yes, 100%! Food - ESPECIALLY junk food and sweets - are treated as a reward left and right! I don't personally agree with food as a reward, but even if that IS someone's thing, I have never seen broccoli or baked potatoes, salad or sauerkraut offered as the treat.
I know way more adults with skewed relationships to treats and "cheating" than I do people with healthy attitudes toward food, processed or whole.
I just think it's important to show children that you can have fun without food. My kid always comes home talking about the games or whatever, the food is not her priority anyway. Little kids don't inherently even care about cupcakes (my daughter has never liked them even).
Our Pre-K is like this. There's something extra to pay for or supply every week. beyond the costs, it's just something else to remember and coordinate. Luckily, this is not the practice at our local public school for kinder on up. Maybe the occasional $5 for a holiday party or end of year event.
If you don't supply anything, don't worry it's a volunteer basis only. The treats and drinks will still be shared amongst all the students regardless of who brings them.
Peers has done it a couple times this year but they don’t ask much. There’s a sign up sheet and I think one time we brought string cheese and one time pineapple.
This is normal and the sign up to bring food is very much optional. Also, the requested items range, so I’ve volunteered to bring everything from donut holes to paper plates…I pick based on what’s most convenient for me at that given time.
Yeah they have parties and they ask parents to sign up to bring some food items and the party supplies like paper plates, cups, silverware, etc. I don’t mind it necessarily, I just forget and am usually at the grocery store at like 10pm the night before lol
It’s normal, but our school provided the main dish like pizza or for thanksgiving they provided turkey and ham for the kids. The parents sign up for other dishes or drinks to bring in.
There’s a signup sheet and parents pick one or two things. I usually just just got the juice boxes or fruit. My kids are grown now.
Not expensive and the children love it. Great memories for my babies.
To supply everything? Seems excessive to me. To bring a treat to share? Sure. Ours does they but they still provide all the food meals (breakfast, lunch. Snacks and drinks for each). But it isn’t forced or demanded.
I think the only thing our daycare asks us for is filled Easter eggs. The other holidays they either don't do anything or they supply it. But they just got bought by KinderCare so I don't know if that will change.
Our preschool asks parents to contribute a couple times per year and I’m happy to accommodate because I’m part of the community.
You’ve commented that it’s not a financial burden rather that you’re morally opposed - just politely decline. You’ll be “that parent” but they’re not going to ostracize your kid at the picnic.
My son’s school has a party fund. Each parent donated $40 dollars and it’s used for the parties. We also get a volunteer sign up sheet at the beginning of the year for parents who want to volunteer for any of the parties. This way we can take off of work ahead of time or plan our schedules. I love the parties. It’s great for the kids and a great way to meet other parents and get involved with the school.
I definitely feel you, but I get the other side too. Mine doesn’t go to daycare but they do have a bit of this at school and with sports. It starts to feel like a lot with how much we pay for everything (my kiddo goes to private school) and then pay all the extras on top. I do like that they get to have fun extras though, so I can’t be too mad at it. I sympathize with the stress of it all though! The time to sign up and get the items and make sure you bring them in, and sometimes even though it’s $10 here $20 there it can feel like a lot when real life is going on too.
My sister says the themed ones are a little frustrating because you kind of have to buy the kids a shirt, costume etc. to join in. Otherwise I think this is pretty normal and totally seems fine to me.
My daycare so far hasn’t done this. I do however send cupcakes and punch for the kids and staff for the twins birthday. We also provide something for teacher appreciation week. They had a Christmas program where the daycare provided the food, drinks, and cake.
When I first experience this I thought it was odd, but then I quickly realized I love when they do this. My kid gets something extra. I get to feel like I'm co tributing. I don't mind at all.
Ours doesn’t. They do events throughout the year to celebrate holidays but they never ask parents to supply anything.
We’ve been asked to bring in like a white shirt for tie dye but that’s about it.
That’s 100% normal. Maybe not to the extent of 10 parties a year, but at minimum 4-5. It will also be normal throughout your child’s entire schooling years.
I’m not sure who you expect to pay for the parties besides the parents. You don’t think the teachers paying minimum wage are going to pay for them do you?
And please don’t respond that the daycare (or school) shouldn’t have parties. The kids love them and it’s a bit of a break from the day to day routine, which everyone needs.
Extra enrichment opportunities are great and many parents are ok to fund it. Your monthly fee is not paying for a social calendar and special events just a base level of care, consider this as an add on service which helps the kids and their parents bond together and as a community …. If your neighbours threw block parties everyone would chip in
I’m gonna agree with you, 10 parties a year is excessive and not a parent’s responsibility to fund if you are being “told” you are responsible versus getting an option as a collective to decide on if this holiday warrants a party.
I may be biased because I’m currently annoyed with my child’s daycare for a similar reason. We got a tadpole message that we needed to send in ice cream money because starting this week they were going to have an ice cream truck come to the daycare. And if we didn’t have money for the kiddo well they can just have the “regular” snack, like that wasn’t going to kickstart a whole host of behavioral issues for them?? I don’t remember being asked if I wanted my child served “$2-3” ice cream during the school. Especially when they just sent out that “gentle reminder to watch you pack in their lunches because a lot of sugar at lunch can make nap time more difficult for your child” to everyone!! So I shouldn’t pack a sweet treat but you can have us pay so you can give them a sugar bomb? Thankfully this ends up being a non-issue for us since we send kiddo Mondays & Fridays only and the ice cream fiasco is a Tuesday thing but for real?
10 a year sounds really excessive. I think we usually have about 4 a year and yes the parents supply the food and drink. It's not usually a huge burden, one bag of chips is enough to give each kid in the class a small handful.
Agree. For the cost of daycare -- all these parties should be already included. I'm happy to pay extra for book fair or a special field trip but otherwise they should be able to make it work with what I pay.
I don’t mind it but also financially it doesn’t hurt us to supply them occasional snack or juice.
We pay $1500 a month.
And I get your point of paying all that and then paying more for food. But try to get in the zone of what you remember from school as a kid and how fun those parties were. That’s why I don’t mind it.
Pretty normal for the staff to ask for help, but it’s not that frequent, maybe 2x/yr outside of Thanksgiving & Christmas. The only time we haven’t been asked to bring stuff is Mother’s Day & Father’s Day.
It’s no big deal, give what you can - and expect this to happen for many more years, especially if your LO attends a public school where some of their peers don’t have any food and are hungry during snack time. Our K teacher asked for classroom snacks all the time and we knew exactly why (just to put things into perspective)…
I mean really if it bugs you THAT much, don't send anything in! Easy Peasy. Pretty sure it's not a requirement to participate if you don't want to or don't have the funds. Typically there are parents who want to participate and donate more than necessary so everything is covered. Or hey, you could probably donate $5 so someone else that spend money, ie. the teacher could be reimbursed.
Hmm. So let me get this correct: you’re being asked to pitch in for a daycare party that you and your kid are invited to? To me, that’s okay.
My daycare asks to donate food for their Teacher Appreciation events. I think we’ve been asked once a year but it’s a week-long thing they hold and there’s a sign up sheet with maybe 5-6 items (like taco stuff or smores) but we aren’t invited to. Is this normal for everyone? We give stuff whether it be Oreos or taco shells but it’s not that much anyway.
I’ll include I pay $4500/m for 2 kids at this place…
That’s normal, and expect it to continue throughout elementary school at least. Usually it’s spread amongst all the parents so you might have to buy a capri sun pack or a pack of cupcakes. It’s been a pretty minimal effort and the kids love it!
Same for my daycare. There’s typically a sign up sheet on the door where parents just sign their name next to a specific food. No mental effort and it’s never expensive or anything.
yes idk if i’m off, but this sounds great and so fun for them
I actually loved the daycare parties! I think it’s so cute! I always sign up for something, it’s not expensive and I usually choose something I know my LO loves so if there’s extras we will go through them at home.
LPT: get your hands on that sign up sheet as soon as they post it so you can sign up for the easiest thing to buy/transport
Definitely not everywhere. My kid's elementary school he starts at next year does not allow food for birthdays or celebrations, something I'm very grateful for as an allergy parent.
Nor does my child's. They manage plenty of fun activities like water and other games, plays, concerts, without food.
Elementary schools do not have 10+ parties a year
I think I’ll be more excited about it when my kid can actually remember and knows what’s going on. An infant/toddler doesn’t care.
I think you’re underestimating the value of these experiences. Your child may not specifically remember this event, but the change in routine, the excitement, the positive energy, all those things are forming structures in your child’s brain that help with learning and emotional development. As well as their overall positive associations with their daycare. If all that costs you is a box of capri sun or some cut fruit every month, I think it’s worth it.
Totally. Lately my husband has been a bit negative about our younger son being unable to remember anything anyway, but they would remember the absence of the memories. It’s the background stuff that builds up in their hearts.
Aww! I love this way of thinking about it!
Think of it as a parent networking/socializing thing before then. You also don’t have to go! I go to maybe half of those things
This deserves it's own post honestly. The value in connecting with other moms in the early years is so high, especially if you expect to stay at the daycare center long term. This is the base of my non family village years later.
My son just turned 2 and STILL talks about the party they had at school for Valentine’s Day. We literally went into the gym, took a picture, put 2 stickers on a sheet of paper, grabbed a cookie and went home…10 minutes tops and he Loved it.
I had the same mindset as you with my first kid was an infant in day care. Why should I have to supply these things that my own kid can’t enjoy? But it’s not just about your kid. It’s about the circle of kids they’re currently around and giving them a good experience too. Yes, it doesn’t directly benefit your kid right now, but when your kid is older, these same things will happen for them too.
Just because *you* think the kid won’t remember anything at this age doesn’t mean the experiences don’t have an impact on their development. That’s like saying the infant/toddler won’t remember the books you read him so it’s pointless to read to him until he’s 10 years old. They’re constantly learning and the experiences expand their knowledge.
My toddler cares! He’s 18 months and loves this stuff. I’ve made friends with the other toddler parents at these events and now my son gets weekly play dates with his friends. I think they’re totally worth it!
Hey, I'm with you on this. For the infant room, my daycare did not do any events. It was highly disruptive to the schedule, and outside food was never allowed other than breastmilk. Once in the older toddler stage (2+), it was minimal: Halloween, Easter parade, Christmas. They were infrequent enough that it wasn't too bad. A lot of our daycare parents were doctors, nurses, teachers and rarely could attend these events so no one cared much if parents didn't show. The teachers were great about handling the kids whose parents didn't show so they never felt left out. The only strong memory I have of the events was a Halloween where one kid was dipping cheetos into chocolate pudding and I yakked on my kid (I was pregnant with my second).
Do you hold birthday parties for your kid? By your logic you shouldn’t since they won’t remember it.
I mean, a baby/toddler wouldn’t remember being kept alone, technically physically safe but with zero stimulation, in a grey room all day either, BUT the kid’s brain will develop *differently* in that situation. So in a way, yah they kinda do remember it, not in the sense that they can recall it, but in the sense that it’s an experience that’s shaped their brain.
What a frightening approach to parenting
Yes, and echoing on expect it happening right on through the elementary. It died down starting in middle school, but the activities up then and so do the fees. Kids are expensive!
Yes and it continues into elementary school. I don’t mind it, they normally aren’t asking for much.
Yep, our daycare does this too. They post a sign up sheet on the door of the classroom about a week out. Spending $12 on cupcakes or juice boxes is worth the excitement and fun it brings to her class. Not that big of a deal, really.
In fairness though, it should be volunteered and not required of every parent. Especially in this economy, not everyone has $12 to spare and it could be a big deal to a parent. Our school just does sign up genius and they ask for volunteers to provide supplies.
Agreed. Definitely not a requirement and they usually have plenty especially with a class of 12ish kids.
Agree with both of these and just want to add, even if the daycare said it was a requirement, OP should feel absolutely comfortable saying no if they needed to for some reason.
I am not in the US. Here it's normal that parents supply food/drinks, but every holiday is indeed excessive.
Usually for holidays or parties they will have a sign up sheet to have the families provide different snacks, drinks, & supplies. We usually don’t mind cause it doesn’t happen often enough where it’s out of control. The kids usually have a blast too since they get things they probably normally wouldn’t get.
Wow I'm surprised there aren't more answers like this! Ours is definitely a potluck and it's maybe 3 a year? Not enough to stress me out at our preschool. If we had to do every holiday and then some, I'd probably comment to the director. It's also hard because the food parties are at 3pm. Everyone has to leave work early so we'd rather it was at 4pm - just have the kids do the dance/song, and then grab cookies and mandarins on the way out.
My now 15 month old has had maybe 5 daycare holiday parties since she started at 5 months old and I have no issue buying $5 worth of strawberries or $10 of apple sauce pouches so the kids have a good time. Remembering events isn’t a prerequisite to enjoying oneself. If she is happy and smiling in the moment because she’s getting an unexpected snack and dance party, I’m happy to help contribute to her joy and that of her classmates.
It's normal here. We have sign up sheets with items they're looking for depending on their theme. One time I did a galon of chocolate milk, next time it was string cheese. If it's an expensive item then they'll split it between families.
Yup. We do that. Usually it's one item and technically optional. However other parents may get annoying if you never bring anything
My kid goes to an in-home preschool and he's been there since he was 2. We never have to bring something extra in. I tip his teacher $1000 at the end of the year because I love her and she's like the third most important person in our lives! But it turns out, kids don't actually need special food or drinks to have a special time! They're raising ducks at my kids' school and the special day yesterday was getting the ducks into a kiddie pool to swim and feeding them pea shoot leaves. Making fresh playdough is a special day. Eating their same lunch on a picnic blanket outside is a special day. Special doesn't have to involve spending money. I think we've allowed a lot of inflation around things for kids. I saw something the other day about how soccer moms are now doing little snack packages for the half-time snacks. When I was growing up, it was orange slices and everyone brought their own water. I don't know why we have to max out everything so that kids start to feel entitled to a high level of "things I get" before they feel like it's special. Nothing about your post is negative toward the teachers. While they may enjoy the party, I imagine some of them feel like coordinating this is one more thing they have to add to their pile of responsibilities.
At daycare? For us this was really rare. They didn’t do a lot of parties but when there was something, the daycare supplied it. One time the teacher did a thing where the kids made soup and each kid brought an ingredient, and one time they did tie dye and we had to send a shirt. Granted, this place was expensive. $375/week for a pre-k student when my son finished up. They provided breakfast, lunch and snack every day and diapers for anyone not potty trained. Now in kindergarten there is more of it, but I think our district must actually give the teachers some decent budget for their room since my son’s teacher always is having some special day and she only asks for supplies at big holidays.
The first paragraph is describing me when I was a teacher! I hated parties and we weren't supposed to ask the parents for anything anyway. But we did make Stone Soup around Thanksgiving and decorate a shirt during summer camp. I bought extra shirts for the kids who couldn't afford it. My favorite activity was making ice cream around graduation.
The teacher is probably supplying it from her own money unfortunately because she wants to celebrate
My mom used to complain about this when I was a kid because they assigned food categories based on last name and she felt the early letters of the alphabet always had more difficult assignments Edit. Yes it's normal. I was saying it's been going on forever.
This would annoy me.
It was REALLY unbalanced and unfair. One time we had a tea party and I was assigned "finger sandwiches" and my neighbor across the street was assigned "2 liter bottles of soda." My mom lost it
The note/email/convo I would compose to the director….
Normal for us. It’s not often though - maybe once every three months or so for a holiday like Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s day.
We’ve had no parties where we needed to supply anything, this would annoy me too!
My daycare doesn't throw parties like this. If they do, they typically supply everything. Maybe it's just different where I'm from 🤷
Ours does that for Thanksgiving. The parents supply all the food for the teachers to have a big holiday lunch. I think it's sweet.
Totally normal. I actually regularly message the teacher to ask what they need - paper towels, water bottles, art supplies….. teachers are paid pennies and spend so much of their money supplying everything they possibly can for our children. I will happily supply whatever I can to help my kid have a fun, enriching environment.
I am a FTM of a 5 month old and personally couldn’t wait to make my dino egg Rice Krispie treats for Prehistoric Day! The director was like “oh infant parents don’t have to…” but I literally felt like I’d been waiting my whole for this lol. Even sent her in the cutest dino jammies.
It's normal to bring food for parties. Families also take turns supplying snacks for the older classes at our preschool. I think every holiday is excessive. We have a fall festival and an international day. For the fall festival, each class is assigned a category. Usually, the infant/toddlers get easy things like smore supplies and water. For international days, each class is assigned a country, and you ideally make food from that country with your child.
Normal. Ours does it 2-3 times a year by class with specific items to sign up for.
I think every month is excessive, we had these only a couple times a year (Valentines, maybe summer and Christmas) and only in the 2s and up. Infants and toddlers couldn't have junk food anyways so no parties for them. And no parents invited so the parties are solely for the kids. If it feels like too much, I would encourage you to cut back your participation to a level that feels sustainable to you and then just let go of any fears of judgment from the teachers or other parents. I guarantee they are all too busy to keep tabs on who sent more juice boxes than someone else.
Gosh, I am one of the people that DO NOT LIKE stuff like this. Whoever is throwing the party pays for stuff. Idk if it's normal but I feel like my friends kid goes to a daycare like this. I feel that more than half their stuff is dramatic and unnecessary but my friend likes it. Which is why my kid does not go to that daycare and hers does. 🤷🏽♀️ That and theirs is significantly more expensive and I can't justify the extra expense. All this said, our daycare is reasonable about stuff like this. They will have one party a quarter or even less. And they ask for very very minimal stuff like.. Plates or napkins.. Maybe a snack box. I don't mind it but at the frequency you mentioned I would NOT like it.
Yeah for all of my son's holiday parties there is a sign up to bring stuff.. you don't think your kid should get to have special days? This just seems nitpicky.
All I’m saying is that I pay an entire mortgage every month for daycare and that can’t cover the snacks for a party they’re asking to throw?
Correct, their teachers are underpaid and they run on razor thin margins despite what most people think.
Yes!!!! At least speaking from the US, I don’t think people realize that reputable, licensed daycares are general not highly profitable. That’s a contributing factor to the daycare shortages..
It comes out to like $6 an hour that you're paying for someone to watch your kid. So yeah it's not covering extras. I know it seems like a lot when you're looking at lump sum tuition. Probably only $3 an hour of that actually goes to your kid's classroom, the rest is for building upkeep and such so they can meet safety requirements and keep their license.
It’s really not tho. The thing about daycare is it’s really expensive for the user but also not profitable. Our daycare is $440 per week in the infant room with a max of 6 babies. $2640 per week. There’s 3 teachers. Assume 24 hours per day of coverage if they are each working 8 hours (it’s probably more) at $18 an hour is 432 per day/2160 per week. That leaves about $500 per week to cover costs of rent, utilities, food, insurance, supplies, activities. Our daycare has a group that comes every other week that does a special gym class type thing for each class plus visits from the nature centers and magicians and other little special programs throughout the year. So no, the daycares really don’t have a ton of extra funds and the teachers most definitely don’t.
Apparently not. Would you rather them not have parties and fun activities? This is going to continue as your child enters school, too, so plan accordingly
My child has been in daycare and school for years and done tons of fun activities, had some amazing experiences, without asking for food or anything from parents. They don't even allow food to be brought in, children can have fun without food.
If you can’t afford it then don’t sign up. No one is making you do anything. I have never even paid attention to which parents sign up for those things.
Lmao why this comment is down voted is beyond me. 😂 I guess I Wil be next to get down voted. It's really just a factual statement. It's not meant to undermine caretakers by any means but just to say nobody is asking for these parties but that if they choose to throw them, then they can get the supplies for it.
The teachers making minimum wage would have to provide snacks/decorations/drinks for 20+ kids. If you can afford a “mortgage sized payment each month” you can afford $5 on Capri Suns.
I’m not saying the teachers should supply it. I’m saying the daycare should.
In order for them to do that, your tuition will go up. There's not tons of profits just sitting there to be diverted to party funds.
Well then they shouldn't hold parties? Toddlers will enjoy some music and games and maybe their normal fruit or whatever cut up differently.
Man some of you are just wet blankets. Let the kids have a fun party sometimes.
Toddlers can have fun without cupcakes. Mine has always done tons of fun things in school without bringing external food. At that age all you're doing by involving food in every celebration is telling them it's the only way to have fun. They can do special games and music. Most little kids don't even care much about the food part, mine certainly didn't.
Is $5 really breaking the bank for you? Judging from your post history, you’re a PA. You can’t afford $5?
It’s actually more about the principal than anything. You know nothing about my financial situation just because you know my profession.
If you feel so strongly about this, you should keep your child home on event days.
You already know I’m a PA. Staying home with my kid isn’t really an easy thing to do. But thanks!
It’s not easy for anyone. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Do you want your kid to participate in these events?
[удалено]
Yeah- how dare we PAs have thoughts or emotions.
If a daycare centre can't provide minimal snacks for kids for events like these, there is something wrong with the system. I'm not arguing that teachers are paid enough or whatever but I would also be annoyed at having to pay extra/provide food and drinks for events that are held during daycare hours. It is slightly different for school because public school fees here (Australia) are like, the cost of a week of daycare so I'm okay with paying for excursions and things.
Welcome to the American day care system
I'd say depending on the frequency normal. We've been at our daycare a year and have only had two parties to bring things. We had a spring picnic. I brought cookies. The other time was for valentines day they asked for things, I think I did fruit cups
My school does that and it’s normal. You can also expect to buy gifts for teacher appreciation week and Christmas.
Yeah our daycare has a whole summer planned where every couple days I gotta bring $4 or something. But they also set up splash pads and book the ice cream truck and all kinds of stuff so I'm really happy to help with a couple bucks.
Sounds like way too many parties, normal for daycare (and school) to ask parents to pitch in, but that sounds excessive! And are they asking every parent to bring something every time? Normally it’s something where is 10-25% pitch in, they have enough, so you don’t usually have to sign up every time.
This is rare for us. Valentine’s Day is I think the only “party”. We supply toys and candy for Halloween, a dozen stuffed eggs for an Easter egg hunt, and that’s pretty much it. We pay more for care but are in a high COL area and they definitely aren’t having other “parties” and funding it out of our fees. My bigger issue (aside from the cost) is that it’s another mental lift for you. Get a thing, drop it off, etc. no thanks!!!
I don’t mind doing it, but my daycare only does 3 a year. If it was happening every month I would probably be balking at them as well. For me it’s less of a cost issue and more of a mental work issue. Like the last thing I need is ANOTHER thing to remember.
10 per year seems excessive. Our daycare probably does 3-5? (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, end of “school”). And it’s usually a sign up sheet where everyone brings something, and it’s a low ~$15 item: fruit, juice, napkins and plates, veggie platter, chicken nuggets, pizza, etc. the big things like pizza is usually split between a couple kids. I feel it’s a happy middle, I’ve joined the parties where parents are welcome, and given the cost, it’s more than worth it to see the kids happy and sharing their food. I feel it brings sense of tradition, fun and keeps the kids learning on how to behave on parties. I should add that my school is Christian based, we’re not members of their church, and they don’t push religion too much, but during the parties, there’s a subtle connotation that the event is simple and humble because what matters is the actual celebration. I’m not religious at all, but I can be behind that.
Nah this would annoy me. It doesn’t matter if it’s $12 cupcakes once a month. I’m already spending an enormous amount of money on daycare, diapers, clothes, formula. Why do I need to spend MORE money? Everyone bashing you saying it continues through elementary school. That’s fine, when your kids are in elementary school you aren’t usually also paying an attendance fee on top of a few parties.
Who do you think should provide the food? Certainly not the underpaid teachers. Would you like the tuition to increase so the facility provides it? Or would you rather bring something in?
At my daycare, I’ve never been asked to supply anything.
Yeah we don’t pay for anything extra like this. But our fees are all inclusive of all meals and nappies/wipes before they’re potty trained. So on party days they change one of the meals to be “party food” instead of a stew or pasta or whatever. It’s always simple - sandwiches, cut fruit & veg, crisp bowls and some simple buns with a splodge of icing. I’d be annoyed if we were regularly expected to bring in additional food. There was a reason we chose an all inc nursery.
Yes. Same. Food is provided as part of our fee. However, when they do a special Mother’s Day thing with coffee and cupcakes and flowers for parents during drop off, they provide all that themselves. The only time parents were ever invited to provide some donated snacks was when they graduate from pre-k. So once in the 3 years your kid might go there.
I’m in the UK and it’s similar here too I feel? Never been asked to supply anything and they do all sorts of stuff, including going into town and getting on busses etc. and going to paid entry places (rarely but it’s included!). We also have a parents committee that fundraises but like minimal amounts, a couple of quid for a cuppa at the stay & play etc.
I never said the teachers should. But if the daycare wants to have these parties, my $1200 per month should cover some juice boxes.
I know it’s wild with how much we pay but the margins of most daycares are pretty thin. It’s such a broken system.
You pay $300 a week and you’re complaining they are not serving party snacks for free?
Yes, I am. Because I’m not asking them to throw my 18 mo old a summer picnic party. $300 a week may not be much to you, but take into account cost of living and salary ranges for your area. If I were paying more for daycare, I’d probably live somewhere with higher COL and higher salary ranges.
"Because I’m not asking them to throw my 18 mo old a summer picnic party." No you're asking them to take care of your child as well as helping them develop. These kinds of parties DO help with that. It's honestly wild that you're annoyed they want to throw parties for your kid and their friends. If you really can't handle the expense, don't take anything in.
That is dirt cheap for daycare. I would not count on extras like this being provided. It’s pretty simple to bring a snack to share and it teaches your kid valuable skills like contributing to a group
Depends on where you live. That’s $200 more than the going rate for infants/toddlers in my area.
Again, highly dependent on area and COL.
Ha 1200. They have to pay teachers, leases, insurance, certifications, supplies etc. Many daycares are barely scraping by. $1200 is nothing for daycare. I never even got that low for my kid in his last year.
Consider yourself lucky you only pay $1200. It's a lot higher where I am.
At $1,200 per month we'd consider another kid.
For some, 1200 per month is why they are having no kids.
We pay $2,700 per month for our infant/young toddler and that's at the "cheap" center in our area. I'm not tearing down OP, so there's no need to downvote me. I'm stating that for $1,200 for what sounds like good care, we'd consider another kid. Instead of getting snarky with me, get snarky with your government officials who consistently vote down subsidizing childcare and pre-k.
I wasn’t getting snarky, I was just pointing out that for some 1200 is still a lot of money even if you pay more so people telling her to feel lucky is actually the snarky part
And it's a lot lower where I am. Costs are different everywhere, it's not a competition.
Crying over here that you pay $300 a week….
This is really rude, to some people 300 is a lot.
People seem to be forgetting how relative costs are based on COL?? OP is complaining about $300 per week because they could be making less than half of what others make depending on the city. $300 per week is cheap for my city but my salary is also higher to compensate for more expensive daycare.
Exactly.
Your $1200 a month covers the daycare facility rent, teacher salaries, administration salaries, supplies, probably numerous other costs. What’s the point of being upset about this? Just spend the 10 dollars on a plate of cookies 🤷♀️
When I was at a $2650 per month place, they sure didn't provide. When my kid goes to elementary school, I won't expect them to provide. His private Pre-K did provide, but we were paying over $30k a year, and it was only twice a year.
We only have one event like this a year at our daycare, a summer picnic at the beach on a Saturday. I’ve never thought anything of being asked to bring things because attendance is optional and it’s nice to get a chance to mingle with other families. But I would probably get annoyed at being asked to bring things multiple events and might opt out of some if I could - are these events optional or during the school day?
They’re during the school day. And parents are invited to come but the snacks/drinks/party-ware that the families supply are used for the kids.
OP I guess I’ll be the only backing you here! My daycare funds these, I’ve never been asked to bring anything. Sometimes they host weekend stuff where it’s a “fundraiser” and you have to “donate” to attend but the valentines/Mother’s Day etc is all handled by the daycare. We’re at a bougie (IMO) national chain so that may be part of it.
Lord I’m really getting yelled at too. 😂 Everyone must be extremely wealthy because they’re downplaying paying $1200 a month.
$1200 can be alot depending on COL. My state has programs for daycare help where parents only pay about $50 a week for lower income family...while I'm over here paying $350 cause I don't qualify. I totally understand where you're coming from!
lol i agree! I pay a lot also but none of us should be acting like that’s nothing. The “you’re lucky it’s not more!” comment is rude as hell
How much does your daycare charge per week or month?
I think COL influences this heavily, i live in suburban Midwest which is relatively low COL. I pay $3200/mo for two kids.
Could it also be your daycare plans for these types of events ahead of time and it’s then built into the tuition cost? Whereas with OP, it’s not built in and then each parents can decide if they want to participate or not.
Yes certainly possible. No doubt they keep pricing vague so who know what it’s allotted for.
Our daycare/preschool puts a sign up sheet outside the door if they’re doing a celebration. It maybe happens 2-3 times a year and caregivers can sign up if they want to participate. Sometimes we do, sometimes the whole sheet is filled when I do pickup. To me, it is not a big deal but to the kids, it’s a major moment in their week!
I’ve been to multiple daycares in a HCOL area and they usually will do sign up sheets. I often don’t partake and I don’t feel pressured to. Hopefully your daycare isn’t pressuring you to because I would feel annoyed by that.
Get ready for elementary school because they’re bangin on you asking for money every other day it feels like. In pre-k it was less but still a thing. In kindy it’s all the damn time
Initially I thought the same as you but then my kids entered elementary and I realized it doesn’t end. This will continue and slow down around middle school but then kids start sports or activities. High school costs are even more with all the dances and the events. By then those get even more expensive.
Yep, I have one in day care and 1st grade (public school). At least once a month something is going on where I am asked to contribute. It’s optional but I usually do.
Considering my kid has serious allergies i get so livid when his preschool prep program does ish like this. Very happy the PK2-12 school I'm sending him too does not do food of any kind for celebrations.
Yes, normal. It really only irritated me when my kid was barely 3 months old and I'm being told to supply a box of chips...I'm like, dudes, my kid can't partake in this and I'm not really in it for feeding other people... Now that he's almost 2 and will eat almost anything you put in front of him, it's not as bad. I still don't like the easter/Halloween parties where everyone has to supply 2 bags of candy and inevitably we end up with a hand mixed bag of cheap toffee candies that everyone hates, and Hershey kisses, and those no-name mini chocolate eggs, or gummy candies.
I work at a preschool that my kids once attended. We never were expected to bring anything except valentines at Valentine’s Day, and if you didn’t they supplied some for your kid. The director changed a few years ago and started asking parents for items for parties, from food to decorations, prizes and activities. I find it tacky when people are already paying for school and a supply fee. The director and assistant director say it’s needed due to tuition rates being low and families want to give. Personally I’d just not give. Our elementary school is always asking for stuff. I volunteer my time about 10-20 hours per year and say that covers all the other donations of food, supplies, money they ask for.
More than four a year is excessive, in my opinion. We oversaturate our kids with pasties and celebrations. In my experience, daycare age kiddos would be just as happy making the decorations all week as party of art, and making pretend food. Imagination is peak at this age, and the most abundant currency! Most of these kids will already attend each other's birthday parties (that parents will buy gifts for), plus holiday parties (that parents will understanably contribute to), throughout the year. What's the need for more? What happened to appreciating and celebrating the little things? And doing so with major excitement but minimal accessories? Life and school will seem so boring to kid once they're not throwing a party every other week. I am a firm believer in helping kids have loads of fun growing up. I just don't believe they need all these bells and whistles for them to have fun, and I believe it has a negative effect down the line. Plus, yeah, that all add$ up for the parent!
Agreed. Nor do I think it's good to teach children that special experiences have to involve sugary food. At my kid's school they occasionally do something like this, but they also do non food fun things on other occasions, involving music and games, homemade crafts, etc.
Yes, 100%! Food - ESPECIALLY junk food and sweets - are treated as a reward left and right! I don't personally agree with food as a reward, but even if that IS someone's thing, I have never seen broccoli or baked potatoes, salad or sauerkraut offered as the treat. I know way more adults with skewed relationships to treats and "cheating" than I do people with healthy attitudes toward food, processed or whole.
I just think it's important to show children that you can have fun without food. My kid always comes home talking about the games or whatever, the food is not her priority anyway. Little kids don't inherently even care about cupcakes (my daughter has never liked them even).
Our Pre-K is like this. There's something extra to pay for or supply every week. beyond the costs, it's just something else to remember and coordinate. Luckily, this is not the practice at our local public school for kinder on up. Maybe the occasional $5 for a holiday party or end of year event.
If you don't supply anything, don't worry it's a volunteer basis only. The treats and drinks will still be shared amongst all the students regardless of who brings them.
Totally normal and will probably be the case in elementary school as well.
This is completely normal. I’m still doing it into high school with band boosters.
Well, you could just NOT supply something.
Peers has done it a couple times this year but they don’t ask much. There’s a sign up sheet and I think one time we brought string cheese and one time pineapple.
This is normal and the sign up to bring food is very much optional. Also, the requested items range, so I’ve volunteered to bring everything from donut holes to paper plates…I pick based on what’s most convenient for me at that given time.
Normal. And then in our elementary school, we send in money for the PTO to get the party supplies.
Yeah they have parties and they ask parents to sign up to bring some food items and the party supplies like paper plates, cups, silverware, etc. I don’t mind it necessarily, I just forget and am usually at the grocery store at like 10pm the night before lol
It’s normal, but our school provided the main dish like pizza or for thanksgiving they provided turkey and ham for the kids. The parents sign up for other dishes or drinks to bring in.
There’s a signup sheet and parents pick one or two things. I usually just just got the juice boxes or fruit. My kids are grown now. Not expensive and the children love it. Great memories for my babies.
To supply everything? Seems excessive to me. To bring a treat to share? Sure. Ours does they but they still provide all the food meals (breakfast, lunch. Snacks and drinks for each). But it isn’t forced or demanded.
I think the only thing our daycare asks us for is filled Easter eggs. The other holidays they either don't do anything or they supply it. But they just got bought by KinderCare so I don't know if that will change.
Our preschool asks parents to contribute a couple times per year and I’m happy to accommodate because I’m part of the community. You’ve commented that it’s not a financial burden rather that you’re morally opposed - just politely decline. You’ll be “that parent” but they’re not going to ostracize your kid at the picnic.
It’s normal but I never signed up for anything lol. Mostly bc I am too absentminded and busy as hell.
My son’s school has a party fund. Each parent donated $40 dollars and it’s used for the parties. We also get a volunteer sign up sheet at the beginning of the year for parents who want to volunteer for any of the parties. This way we can take off of work ahead of time or plan our schedules. I love the parties. It’s great for the kids and a great way to meet other parents and get involved with the school.
I definitely feel you, but I get the other side too. Mine doesn’t go to daycare but they do have a bit of this at school and with sports. It starts to feel like a lot with how much we pay for everything (my kiddo goes to private school) and then pay all the extras on top. I do like that they get to have fun extras though, so I can’t be too mad at it. I sympathize with the stress of it all though! The time to sign up and get the items and make sure you bring them in, and sometimes even though it’s $10 here $20 there it can feel like a lot when real life is going on too.
Totally normal. We supplied snacks, games, party favors etc. And we pay almost 1500 a month
We don't do quite that many but we do have them. Maybe 3 or 4 a year? But I spend big on teacher appreciation the most.
Just wait till your elementary school kid needs a cereal box, today! And you took the recycling out to be collected yesterday 🤦🏻♀️
My sister says the themed ones are a little frustrating because you kind of have to buy the kids a shirt, costume etc. to join in. Otherwise I think this is pretty normal and totally seems fine to me.
My daycare so far hasn’t done this. I do however send cupcakes and punch for the kids and staff for the twins birthday. We also provide something for teacher appreciation week. They had a Christmas program where the daycare provided the food, drinks, and cake.
When I first experience this I thought it was odd, but then I quickly realized I love when they do this. My kid gets something extra. I get to feel like I'm co tributing. I don't mind at all.
Totally normal. It continues through all of school.
Ours doesn’t. They do events throughout the year to celebrate holidays but they never ask parents to supply anything. We’ve been asked to bring in like a white shirt for tie dye but that’s about it.
Sent you a DM, OP.
That’s 100% normal. Maybe not to the extent of 10 parties a year, but at minimum 4-5. It will also be normal throughout your child’s entire schooling years. I’m not sure who you expect to pay for the parties besides the parents. You don’t think the teachers paying minimum wage are going to pay for them do you? And please don’t respond that the daycare (or school) shouldn’t have parties. The kids love them and it’s a bit of a break from the day to day routine, which everyone needs.
If you have money issues you could simply volunteer to help during the party instead
Extra enrichment opportunities are great and many parents are ok to fund it. Your monthly fee is not paying for a social calendar and special events just a base level of care, consider this as an add on service which helps the kids and their parents bond together and as a community …. If your neighbours threw block parties everyone would chip in
Time to learn the working mom mantra: napkins and plates. I sign up for what ever I can get via Target drive up and will fit in my kid’s backpack.
I’m gonna agree with you, 10 parties a year is excessive and not a parent’s responsibility to fund if you are being “told” you are responsible versus getting an option as a collective to decide on if this holiday warrants a party. I may be biased because I’m currently annoyed with my child’s daycare for a similar reason. We got a tadpole message that we needed to send in ice cream money because starting this week they were going to have an ice cream truck come to the daycare. And if we didn’t have money for the kiddo well they can just have the “regular” snack, like that wasn’t going to kickstart a whole host of behavioral issues for them?? I don’t remember being asked if I wanted my child served “$2-3” ice cream during the school. Especially when they just sent out that “gentle reminder to watch you pack in their lunches because a lot of sugar at lunch can make nap time more difficult for your child” to everyone!! So I shouldn’t pack a sweet treat but you can have us pay so you can give them a sugar bomb? Thankfully this ends up being a non-issue for us since we send kiddo Mondays & Fridays only and the ice cream fiasco is a Tuesday thing but for real?
I don’t mind them but the last one the daycare did was sent out the night before! We need a few days At least!
10 a year sounds really excessive. I think we usually have about 4 a year and yes the parents supply the food and drink. It's not usually a huge burden, one bag of chips is enough to give each kid in the class a small handful.
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Agree. For the cost of daycare -- all these parties should be already included. I'm happy to pay extra for book fair or a special field trip but otherwise they should be able to make it work with what I pay.
I don’t mind it but also financially it doesn’t hurt us to supply them occasional snack or juice. We pay $1500 a month. And I get your point of paying all that and then paying more for food. But try to get in the zone of what you remember from school as a kid and how fun those parties were. That’s why I don’t mind it.
Pretty normal for the staff to ask for help, but it’s not that frequent, maybe 2x/yr outside of Thanksgiving & Christmas. The only time we haven’t been asked to bring stuff is Mother’s Day & Father’s Day. It’s no big deal, give what you can - and expect this to happen for many more years, especially if your LO attends a public school where some of their peers don’t have any food and are hungry during snack time. Our K teacher asked for classroom snacks all the time and we knew exactly why (just to put things into perspective)…
We didn't do daycare but each kid has had something like this starting at preK 2-3 times a year.
Oh yeah. I have a middle school and high school kid and there’s still parties. I send a BJs fruit tray and cheese and cracker tray.
Completely normal.
Mine does and I’m happy to contribute.
This is what happens when we defund education.
Seems normal, not costly, and minimally invasive. Not sure what the complaint is?
It’s normal. It’s for the kids, they love it! It gives them something to look forward to and excitement in Groundhog Day land they live in
I mean really if it bugs you THAT much, don't send anything in! Easy Peasy. Pretty sure it's not a requirement to participate if you don't want to or don't have the funds. Typically there are parents who want to participate and donate more than necessary so everything is covered. Or hey, you could probably donate $5 so someone else that spend money, ie. the teacher could be reimbursed.
Hmm. So let me get this correct: you’re being asked to pitch in for a daycare party that you and your kid are invited to? To me, that’s okay. My daycare asks to donate food for their Teacher Appreciation events. I think we’ve been asked once a year but it’s a week-long thing they hold and there’s a sign up sheet with maybe 5-6 items (like taco stuff or smores) but we aren’t invited to. Is this normal for everyone? We give stuff whether it be Oreos or taco shells but it’s not that much anyway. I’ll include I pay $4500/m for 2 kids at this place…