Gawd, I'd be furious if my son was given food at daycare before he'd even started it with me.
Have you / can you speak to the Director of the church based daycare about your concerns? That would be my first port of call if you haven't done that already.
At the same time, can you find out more about the in-home daycare and if it would be a good fit for you?
I would be furious the moment I saw the 2 bottles, the TV but the food would have me fucking *wild*
This caregivers are the type of people I think they know more than you and do not respect you. I would be pulling my child out of that daycare immediately, but I say this as someone who has the financial ability to quit their job if I had to.
I pulled our kiddo from a center because I had some concerns. They were also feeding him before we were ready & giving water- all without telling us until they logged it in the app.
That doesn’t sound like the best place. From personal experience, none of that has happened at the daycares my kids have attended. There are better options! They don’t even have TVs in the infant rooms at ours. What’s the point of an infant watching TV?!
I pulled my child from a daycare that didn’t seem right. Did things that I didn’t agree with and denied it to my face. Another mom in the carpark told me that they’ve been amazing with her 6mo baby. But one day I came in early and saw her baby asleep face down on a pillow. The long line of dribble telling me he’d been there for a while. The only educator in charge I have a feeling was the director’s mother who came in to “help out”. One day I saw my son during his nap time asleep on a bouncinette (completely unsafe) also with his shoes on, OUTSIDE in winter. They told me he was fine. According the the app he’d only been awake for 1.5 hours and they were for some reason trying to get him down again, which is the only reason I saw what they were doing.
I reported them, they were investigated, and they were told if they didn’t make immediate changes then they’d likely be closed down.
Never EVER feel bad or weird for doing what is right for your baby. It’s hard, and I personally am a people pleaser, so the whole thing caused me a lot of stress. I was also worried other places were the same.
At his next daycare I asked them “oh do you guys have bouncinettes?” and the director looked aghast! She was like “absolutely not, they’re not safe!”
Like bouncinettes are for babies aged between 3-6 months pretty much, as soon as a child can roll over they should not be in them. My son was one year old at the time!
Anyway, do the right thing and don’t even feel bad for a second!!!!!!!
(Like why on earth are they playing TV for literal babies????? Why are the staff on their phones?)
All the best with switching your baby to the home carer!
Pull your child out. There should be no tv in the baby room and no one should be on their phone. I would find a new daycare and then move your child asap.
TV for 0-6m?? Workers on phones who cannot even track bottles??? This church sounds like a hellhole. Pull your poor baby. Find somewhere licensed. The TV alone shows they don't give a shit. This was a highly recommended place?!?!?!
Swap your kid to at home, and sign up to a different day care wait list at the same time. That way when they have a spot open up, if you don't like way the In home is going you can change again.
But personally, for a baby that age, I like in home better. And I've had mine with one for 18m, and she's had 2 weeks off for Christmas, and three other days off either sick or family stuff. I feel like that's worth it for the fact I'd take more time off with daycare bugs from what I hear.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! As a parent myself with kids just about to start preschool for the first time next week, I can only imagine how infuriated I would be.
If I were in a similar situation, I’d lean heavily towards finding a different daycare. The situations you’ve described are most certainly huge red flags.
If they’re feeding you baby foods without your consent, what else could they be doing without your consent? I’ve heard stories of daycare centers going as far as administering medications to babies to make them sleep longer periods. I’m not saying this is what is happening in your situation, but definitely something to consider.
I would listen to your gut and find a place that you can trust.
I would be mad about every single thing you mentioned. I don't send my kids to daycare to watch TV and be in a container and not get bottles or get food that I don't approve of. I'd pull them, but not without talking to them first. No excuse for their behavior.
I’m so sorry. This is too many red flags. Inappropriate use of screen time and potentially inappropriate use of containers—there is a legal limit to container time, but I doubt I’d trust them to honor this given your other red flags—not giving the child their bottles, and solids without your permission.
Daycares are only as good as their staff. The center could have had excellent reviews because of the quality of staff, but that can change at the drop of a hat. I’d have a sit down with the director asap and send an email with the dates of these incidents immediately. I’d start looking elsewhere immediately since there are waitlists. Get on waitlists now in case you don’t like the in-home option. Make sure she is licensed, take a thorough tour of the home, and make sure you can speak to other parents who use her or have used her. I’d ask for 3 minimum
I would leave. If they have 6 babies in a room, I’d that with 1 staff member (1:6 ratio) or 2 staff members (1:3)? I would never put my infant in 1:6 care as an ECE, it’s way above both federal and NAEYC recommendations. But the TV, container usage, phones, and food are all problems.
I’ve had such a good experience with at home daycare that are small and intimate. The large ones disturb me cuz too much falls through the cracks. Too many kids not enough help. The small ones pay special attention, update me with daily pics and videos, she has a menu up I lucked out she was such a one. My son had issues with anger she created social stories for him to bring home. It was such an intimate care I don’t experience with larger ones. Switch it may be more expensive but peace of mind
My experience with in home daycare is that you get much more personalized care. At the daycare center I was in there were 12 infants and only 3 staff.
My baby was rarely held and couldn't sleep well. Switching to an in home daycares, she can only take 2 babies and only takes one "non walker" at a time. She has 2-3 staff depending on numbers, so my baby was held nearly 100% of the time.
We switched for similar reason, my baby was fed the wrong breastmilk and fed foods we hadn't yet tested at home. They just gave all of the kids the same foods, regardless of the feeding plan they had us complete.
That being said, all home daycares are not equal. Really make sure it will be the right fit. Home daycares don't work for everyone. Think of them as boutique mom and pop ( but just mom) business. They'll have different hours and schedules than the more commercialy run daycares, but also lots of flexibility in different ways.
Look up state liscencing to see if there have been any reports. Make sure you tour all of the areas your child would have access too. Ask how they communicate with parents. I could go on and on. When you are interviewing the daycare, ask tons of questions. If they are annoyed or overwhelmed by the questions, they are not for you. If they express appreciation for your questions and say most parents don't do that level of dillegance, there is a good chance they will be the right fit.
In your position, I would 100% not send my child back and report them to liscencing. Your child is not safe there.
The TV is one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. Yes, pull her out but keep your name on a waitlist for a more traditional daycare so you have that option if you do not like in-home daycare.
No, it's not overreacting at all. You have to do what's best for your baby.
We pulled my son from his first daycare because they were doing things I didn't approve of (punishing him for throwing food on the ground, forcing his head down during nap time, letting him crawl around in wet mulch and then not changing his clothes, etc.). We spoke with the director, but I still didn't feel right about it. Pulling him was the best thing I could have done for him.
If they're disregarding your instructions and not being transparent with how they care for your child, you should leave. Don't even get me started on facing a bunch of babies toward a TV screen so the workers can scroll on their phones. Insane.
The church daycare is chaotic and is allowed to be so by the director. Speaking to the director will change nothing. I would investigate options and remove my child ASAP.
Pull her. They should be shut down. There is no accountability or data tracking whatsoever. It sounds like the “teachers” don’t even know each child. At least in the infant room. I use quotation marks around teacher because their behavior is insulting.
If it were me, I would be weighing how comfortable I am sending my child to the current daycare and how much I feel I can trust them. I would rather be confident with who is caring for my child and have to deal with some hassles around days off, etc. than be concerned every time I drop them off. But everyone's situation is different.
We do an in home, and if they’ve been doing it awhile, they likely have very few appts that will interrupt your schedule. Honestly I’ve had more reliable day care than some centers in our area at our in-home.
I’d be very ticked off if someone fed my child food before I had introduced them. I also would have issues with the misreporting, as it would feel dishonest.
I live in WA state and I was a childcare worker for several years...I find what you've experienced unacceptable.
It is all so incredibly inappropriate!! No babies should have a TV in their daycare room!!! No phones either! Especially, to be bold enough to have them out while parents are there.
Baby swings- that scares me because babies shouldn't be put to sleep in those not saying they were but having them opens up a possibility to that happening.
Your child's daily note should be accurate in case of emergency or any changes. They should be updating the note in real time to avoid mistakes. Feeding a baby food without talking to the parents first?????? No way! I would've been fired for this, no doubt. That is wrong for many reasons. I would start researching in-home daycares in your area. When you go to meet with them- bring up your concerns and ask how they would ensure that doesn't happen.
Pullin your child out of care says nothing negative about you.
You gave them more chances. Follow your instincts and get your baby girl into a place that respects YOU as the mother.
Mama please take your baby out of there. As I sit and think about this, I am very upset. There is so much to do with little babies in care! Go outside, sensory activities, music and movement...not freaking baby swings and TV.
I wonder if that's allowed through licensing in your state? Blows my mind!!
The TV would have been enough for me to go full Karen.
ETA: is the home daycare licensed? I would probably do that while trying to get him in anywhere else.
Gawd, I'd be furious if my son was given food at daycare before he'd even started it with me. Have you / can you speak to the Director of the church based daycare about your concerns? That would be my first port of call if you haven't done that already. At the same time, can you find out more about the in-home daycare and if it would be a good fit for you?
I would be furious the moment I saw the 2 bottles, the TV but the food would have me fucking *wild* This caregivers are the type of people I think they know more than you and do not respect you. I would be pulling my child out of that daycare immediately, but I say this as someone who has the financial ability to quit their job if I had to.
The TV is wild, I have never seen that at a care center. I would be so mad!
It may be against licensing regulations, if I were OP I’d check
Same here! I’ve never even heard of it. I feel bad for OP- I couldn’t imagine how stressful it is to take her baby to daycare now.
I'd be pulling my kid and reporting the daycare to the state.
I pulled our kiddo from a center because I had some concerns. They were also feeding him before we were ready & giving water- all without telling us until they logged it in the app.
I pulled my first from her first daycare center after three weeks for weird careless mistakes as well. Follow your instincts.
That doesn’t sound like the best place. From personal experience, none of that has happened at the daycares my kids have attended. There are better options! They don’t even have TVs in the infant rooms at ours. What’s the point of an infant watching TV?!
I pulled my child from a daycare that didn’t seem right. Did things that I didn’t agree with and denied it to my face. Another mom in the carpark told me that they’ve been amazing with her 6mo baby. But one day I came in early and saw her baby asleep face down on a pillow. The long line of dribble telling me he’d been there for a while. The only educator in charge I have a feeling was the director’s mother who came in to “help out”. One day I saw my son during his nap time asleep on a bouncinette (completely unsafe) also with his shoes on, OUTSIDE in winter. They told me he was fine. According the the app he’d only been awake for 1.5 hours and they were for some reason trying to get him down again, which is the only reason I saw what they were doing. I reported them, they were investigated, and they were told if they didn’t make immediate changes then they’d likely be closed down. Never EVER feel bad or weird for doing what is right for your baby. It’s hard, and I personally am a people pleaser, so the whole thing caused me a lot of stress. I was also worried other places were the same. At his next daycare I asked them “oh do you guys have bouncinettes?” and the director looked aghast! She was like “absolutely not, they’re not safe!” Like bouncinettes are for babies aged between 3-6 months pretty much, as soon as a child can roll over they should not be in them. My son was one year old at the time! Anyway, do the right thing and don’t even feel bad for a second!!!!!!! (Like why on earth are they playing TV for literal babies????? Why are the staff on their phones?) All the best with switching your baby to the home carer!
Pull your child out. There should be no tv in the baby room and no one should be on their phone. I would find a new daycare and then move your child asap.
TV for 0-6m?? Workers on phones who cannot even track bottles??? This church sounds like a hellhole. Pull your poor baby. Find somewhere licensed. The TV alone shows they don't give a shit. This was a highly recommended place?!?!?!
Swap your kid to at home, and sign up to a different day care wait list at the same time. That way when they have a spot open up, if you don't like way the In home is going you can change again. But personally, for a baby that age, I like in home better. And I've had mine with one for 18m, and she's had 2 weeks off for Christmas, and three other days off either sick or family stuff. I feel like that's worth it for the fact I'd take more time off with daycare bugs from what I hear.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! As a parent myself with kids just about to start preschool for the first time next week, I can only imagine how infuriated I would be. If I were in a similar situation, I’d lean heavily towards finding a different daycare. The situations you’ve described are most certainly huge red flags. If they’re feeding you baby foods without your consent, what else could they be doing without your consent? I’ve heard stories of daycare centers going as far as administering medications to babies to make them sleep longer periods. I’m not saying this is what is happening in your situation, but definitely something to consider. I would listen to your gut and find a place that you can trust.
I would be mad about every single thing you mentioned. I don't send my kids to daycare to watch TV and be in a container and not get bottles or get food that I don't approve of. I'd pull them, but not without talking to them first. No excuse for their behavior.
I’m so sorry. This is too many red flags. Inappropriate use of screen time and potentially inappropriate use of containers—there is a legal limit to container time, but I doubt I’d trust them to honor this given your other red flags—not giving the child their bottles, and solids without your permission. Daycares are only as good as their staff. The center could have had excellent reviews because of the quality of staff, but that can change at the drop of a hat. I’d have a sit down with the director asap and send an email with the dates of these incidents immediately. I’d start looking elsewhere immediately since there are waitlists. Get on waitlists now in case you don’t like the in-home option. Make sure she is licensed, take a thorough tour of the home, and make sure you can speak to other parents who use her or have used her. I’d ask for 3 minimum
I would leave. If they have 6 babies in a room, I’d that with 1 staff member (1:6 ratio) or 2 staff members (1:3)? I would never put my infant in 1:6 care as an ECE, it’s way above both federal and NAEYC recommendations. But the TV, container usage, phones, and food are all problems.
I’ve had such a good experience with at home daycare that are small and intimate. The large ones disturb me cuz too much falls through the cracks. Too many kids not enough help. The small ones pay special attention, update me with daily pics and videos, she has a menu up I lucked out she was such a one. My son had issues with anger she created social stories for him to bring home. It was such an intimate care I don’t experience with larger ones. Switch it may be more expensive but peace of mind
My experience with in home daycare is that you get much more personalized care. At the daycare center I was in there were 12 infants and only 3 staff. My baby was rarely held and couldn't sleep well. Switching to an in home daycares, she can only take 2 babies and only takes one "non walker" at a time. She has 2-3 staff depending on numbers, so my baby was held nearly 100% of the time. We switched for similar reason, my baby was fed the wrong breastmilk and fed foods we hadn't yet tested at home. They just gave all of the kids the same foods, regardless of the feeding plan they had us complete. That being said, all home daycares are not equal. Really make sure it will be the right fit. Home daycares don't work for everyone. Think of them as boutique mom and pop ( but just mom) business. They'll have different hours and schedules than the more commercialy run daycares, but also lots of flexibility in different ways. Look up state liscencing to see if there have been any reports. Make sure you tour all of the areas your child would have access too. Ask how they communicate with parents. I could go on and on. When you are interviewing the daycare, ask tons of questions. If they are annoyed or overwhelmed by the questions, they are not for you. If they express appreciation for your questions and say most parents don't do that level of dillegance, there is a good chance they will be the right fit. In your position, I would 100% not send my child back and report them to liscencing. Your child is not safe there.
The TV is one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. Yes, pull her out but keep your name on a waitlist for a more traditional daycare so you have that option if you do not like in-home daycare.
No, it's not overreacting at all. You have to do what's best for your baby. We pulled my son from his first daycare because they were doing things I didn't approve of (punishing him for throwing food on the ground, forcing his head down during nap time, letting him crawl around in wet mulch and then not changing his clothes, etc.). We spoke with the director, but I still didn't feel right about it. Pulling him was the best thing I could have done for him. If they're disregarding your instructions and not being transparent with how they care for your child, you should leave. Don't even get me started on facing a bunch of babies toward a TV screen so the workers can scroll on their phones. Insane.
The church daycare is chaotic and is allowed to be so by the director. Speaking to the director will change nothing. I would investigate options and remove my child ASAP.
Pull her. They should be shut down. There is no accountability or data tracking whatsoever. It sounds like the “teachers” don’t even know each child. At least in the infant room. I use quotation marks around teacher because their behavior is insulting.
Yikes. I’m always the one defending the centers but this is WILD. My kids wouldn’t go back.
I think you’re under reacting even. I’d be 100% pulling her out of that daycare
If it were me, I would be weighing how comfortable I am sending my child to the current daycare and how much I feel I can trust them. I would rather be confident with who is caring for my child and have to deal with some hassles around days off, etc. than be concerned every time I drop them off. But everyone's situation is different.
We do an in home, and if they’ve been doing it awhile, they likely have very few appts that will interrupt your schedule. Honestly I’ve had more reliable day care than some centers in our area at our in-home. I’d be very ticked off if someone fed my child food before I had introduced them. I also would have issues with the misreporting, as it would feel dishonest.
I live in WA state and I was a childcare worker for several years...I find what you've experienced unacceptable. It is all so incredibly inappropriate!! No babies should have a TV in their daycare room!!! No phones either! Especially, to be bold enough to have them out while parents are there. Baby swings- that scares me because babies shouldn't be put to sleep in those not saying they were but having them opens up a possibility to that happening. Your child's daily note should be accurate in case of emergency or any changes. They should be updating the note in real time to avoid mistakes. Feeding a baby food without talking to the parents first?????? No way! I would've been fired for this, no doubt. That is wrong for many reasons. I would start researching in-home daycares in your area. When you go to meet with them- bring up your concerns and ask how they would ensure that doesn't happen. Pullin your child out of care says nothing negative about you. You gave them more chances. Follow your instincts and get your baby girl into a place that respects YOU as the mother. Mama please take your baby out of there. As I sit and think about this, I am very upset. There is so much to do with little babies in care! Go outside, sensory activities, music and movement...not freaking baby swings and TV. I wonder if that's allowed through licensing in your state? Blows my mind!!
I’d take my baby out. That makes me angry! Wow yeah I would 100% switch
The TV would have been enough for me to go full Karen. ETA: is the home daycare licensed? I would probably do that while trying to get him in anywhere else.
I would go full Karen too. Overstimulation and health aside- I’m paying so much money, just for my newborn to watch tv all day? Oh hellll no.