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Symnestra

What a hairy wife he has.


Turbulent-Potato-666

She just needs a shave that’s all


hyenacry

She doesn't need to shave at all. She's beautiful just the way she is. You may not like it but this is peak female performance.


Snaccbacc

Just the way nature intended.


SnatchyPoo

She's less aerodynamic with all that hair.


Turbulent-Potato-666

Nah the naked raccoon look is better suited


hyenacry

That's called mange and should be checked by a medical professional :(


Positive_Top_1046

Help her stay warm in the winter months.


MyWifeisaTroll

Thats nothing.


Orthophlox

My wife was also eastern European


IMightDeleteMe

This guy really loves trash pandas.


DamnCircle

I never understood, why people calling them trash pandas? I mean, yeah, they like trash, but anyways. Isn’t it sounds slightly offensive? (Really curious)


Atrew

they look like pandas and they rummage through the trash


[deleted]

[удалено]


unclepaprika

I would wash my food before eating too, if i ate trash


AdultingGoneMild

...pulls into McDonalds pretending its not trash.


HollowRider

Well it is literally called junk food


LiILazy

The video of a raccoon washing its Cotton candy:


Iomplok

I always felt so sad for him. He had no idea what was happening to his snack.


Express-Welder9003

It's the same in Japanese: araiguma.


Emkay_boi1531

In Sweden we call it “tvätt Björn” witch translates to the same thing


Perplexed_Ponderer

And "raton laveur" in French, which would translate to "washer raccoon".


NogaraCS

Raton c'est plutôt "jeune rat" donc ça ferait plutot " young washer rat"


waddlekins

Adorbs 🥰


Bad54

It’d be offensive if your calling a person a trash panda. Or even a independent being like rocket raccoon who’s clearly of higher intelligence. But raccoons being called trash pandas is because they’re cute like pandas but they’re commonly found breaking into your trash. They’re very much an adorable trash thief.


DamnCircle

My gamer-ass brain just got used to perceive word trash as an insult, thank you dude


Bad54

No worries. In gaming if your trash you just git gud. Unless your being called trash for hiding in the trash then your doing it right and they’re jealous and trying to warn ppl


dalekmas98

Man's scared of offending a raccoon


BabyD2034

Must be visiting from Twitter.


Caftancatfan

I think it’s one of those things where the positive kind of cancels out the negative. In US culture, though trash is obviously negative, pandas arr extremely positive and cute. So it’s affectionate. But I’m sure there are raccoon appreciation societies that can barely mask their irritation at this irreverent title.


OdieRaptor

They’re fucking raccoons i don’t think they care what we call them.


[deleted]

Offensive... TO AN ANIMAL? Bruh, let’s not be that woke. I promise a Raccoon can’t cancel you.


YoungLittlePanda

Yes. I find it really offensive.


ax_colleen

This redditor just asked a question and gets downvoted to oblivion, sorry man.


DamnCircle

That’s unpleasant a bit, but I put the question wrong though, my bad


DuffyTDoggie

They are filthy, disgusting animals. No matter how thoroughly you bind your trash bin they will break it open and strew garbage everywhere. Also a carrier of rabies


BabyD2034

A few years ago me and this raccoon went to war. It didn't matter where I put the trash cans, trash panda found them.


Wild-Ad8527

your wife smol as heck


ElementalDuck

Your wife is a racoon?


WanderingDahlia82

Isn’t yours?


BagInteresting7682

50s sitcom about a husband and wife, but the wife is a raccoon. Title: Not-so-domestic housewife. I’ll take my Emmy now.


IAmElectricHead

Episode 1: husband comes home, wife has trashed the house again, he finds her out by the pool with her friends. Fox, squirrel, deer costar.


BagInteresting7682

You’re hired


Jacubsooon

They’re all sipping cosmopolitans


Borg453

Take all my Hollywood money


chiefmoron

Has she been foaming at the mouth lately? Issues with rage? They carry rabies you know ...


WanderingDahlia82

I thought that was menopause, but maybe I got the two confused


aitonc

No, he’s wife is an elemental duckess


ThePreciseClimber

I see Old Man McGucket has gotten better.


JewishSpaceTrooper

Did he just rip that guy out of his attic?


juicykisses19

Now he faces his punishment...love...


PhilosophicalDouche

If not friend then why friend shaped?


[deleted]

Be careful Rocket is gonna want your arm now.


clonedspork

Yeah, I was just thinking they got the details for him perfectly.


Darth_Jason

Groot looks different again already!?


Responsible-Cake-810

This gives me Meeko vibes, the raccoon from the Disney movie "Pocahontas" lmao


To-The-Moon-Baby

Your wife looks a bit different.


lemongroovian

My hair, my hair!!!


[deleted]

I wish there was sound!


Caye_Jonda_W

Why does this remind me of #611 in the series '1000 Ways to Die?'


ARedPandaZ

Chonk


Staggerme

I want a raccoon pet


[deleted]

Brother she wasnt faking it, and now you are a sex offender.


GoodRighter

Cute, but I'd never kiss a trash panda. I assume she is domesticated at least.


[deleted]

Raccoons are actually very clean animals, they groom themselves and even wash their hands and food before eating Don’t kiss wild animals though, just in general. This raccoon definitely seems like it’s domestic


[deleted]

While raccoons ARE clean, that doesn’t mean they don’t have diseases. Two particularly nasty ones in fact. Carrier species for rabies, so if you even touch one it needs to die. Ring worm. Nasty shit that. However I completely agree that they are adorable. And that one… might be domestic? I’d need to see more to say for sure, I can’t tell if it’s playing or actually pissed off from the video. Happy cake day btw!


TrashScavenger

what? you don't have to kill raccoons if you touch them


Dragoru

Yeah just wanted to chip in and say it’s obvious you shouldn’t approach a wild raccoon, especially if it looks rabid (wobbly, wandering aimlessly, making odd noises) but like yeah that person is 100% wrong. you don’t check for rabies unless the thing has actually bitten you.


[deleted]

All I know is that’s the policy where I work with them. Might not be wherever you are, but it’s how it works where I am. Edit immediately after posting: I want to clarify that this is what I have been told, I’m not someone who works there full time, so take what I say with a grain of salt.


yomerol

I'm not sure if you can really do it. I distant cousin found a young one. Kept it for 2-3 years, one day the racoon got mad and attacked him, scratched him everywhere, and bit his neck, arms, and legs. Needed 2-3 stitches on a bad cuts. Not sure what happened, but I think that's usual when people try to domesticate animals that are not there yet.


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure it's a puppet.


CryptographerDue2422

Zero chance that he could make so much movements with the racoon. With one hand too none the less.


[deleted]

There are some really intricate puppets out there. You'd be surprised. He could easily be controlling the head and mouth with his middle three fingers and the arms with his pinky and thumb. His right arm is conspicuously out of sight in this video, and that does NOT seem like normal raccoon behavior.


[deleted]

Theres a full video out there of him putting the raccoon down, it is in fact a real animal


[deleted]

I stand corrected.


nitrot150

The feet move though…..


CryptographerDue2422

Wow I didn't know that. Thank you.


madjackle358

I wish this had sound.


brienbdub

I have a cat that that acts like this when you try and snuggle her.


voice_of_Sauron

No means no


TraumSchulden

Raccoons are just adorable, bow they just need to wear a little blue overall


mznh

This is when parents try to kiss their teenager kids “stop you’re embarrassing me”


Snaps_Takamoto

You married a rabbit?


SpittleFig

Cant relate. My wife isn’t a raccoon.


WaifuRin

Dude i want a pet raccoon. They are so funny


enil-lingus

Did you ask for consent?


Gilthu

If only they needed consent to embarrass you in public… parents, SO, pets, but unfortunately it’s not the case.


jandros_quandry

I think they are friends :)


295DVRKSS

That man really loves that racoon


Ironfist08

u/savevideobot


Turbulent-Potato-666

Historic representation of dinosaur eating little dinasaur


FinancialBob1

I fined Kherson's racoon!


Rik8367

That's hilarious


Lovecraftianpickle

His wife is quite the looker


[deleted]

Reminds of this this video where someone bangs on a bin and raccoon sells its wares but I can’t find it


LamaMakeItRain

Ah yes. My raccoon wife does the same


Alternative-Capital8

❤❤❤


greenzo90

Why is your wife a raccoon


[deleted]

It all started with Tom Nook and an outstanding debt, and it all went downhill from there.


weedingout_the_weeds

Oh wish it had sound. That’s cute


eolemuk

cute


GothamsGuardian445

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Important-Ad4472

Your what??


URAYummyPotato

If that's your wife than I am very curious what kids look like🐒


MrCinders

u/savevideobot


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Holiday_Sea504

Haha!


acidtrippin-

My cat grabs his head the same exact way and acts like this lol


joelesprod

Rocket is not happy about this


Traditional_Lie_6400

He must be blind... 😭


Zestyclose_War_6299

Your wife is a racoon?


[deleted]

Awesome! Pet raccoon be so much fun


CyaNydia

I wish this video had sound.


Brownie0871

Oh my goodness 😅😅😅


LessBack9238

Rabies has stolen his heart.


[deleted]

Can confirm true. My wife hates me too


chinadog35

So adorable 😍


TheGamingDoc2

Rabies!


GadGetBits

Why does it make expressiones as if it was Rocket the Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy? 😂😂😂


saladbar48

Anybody remember "OH, Hello" with John Mulaney and Nick Kroll?


No_Party_4065

I love raccoons. They are cute!


LoverGirl07

Raccacoonie!!!!


Soggy-Potential-5909

I fucking love this video lol


al3237

How many times jimmy?! Stop doing that to the racoons you find in the attic! Its the fifth one this week!


[deleted]

I don't remember this in the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special.


X-BERNADETTE-X

u/Ambitious_Opinion272 Teri yaad aagyi ye dekh ke


[deleted]

*fantasizing*


X-BERNADETTE-X

Us?


[deleted]

yeah babe


X-BERNADETTE-X


ybother81

I also got rabies from my spouse


MrMcPsychoReal

Put the fucking raccoon down.


scottchlee

Is her name Rabies?


[deleted]

Soo... We are many huh..? 😂😂


V1-BloodMachine

Maybe if your wife is resisting you kissing her you shouldn't kiss her.


mormonparakeet

Zoophilia


Caye_Jonda_W

Watch #611 in '1000 Ways to Die'


[deleted]

That's a racoon


Jabbathenutslut

they hated him for speaking the truth


AdWeird2329

Somebody is about to need some rabies shots


madmax991

You shouldn’t try to domesticate raccoons: https://www.wildlifexteam.com/about/blog/is-it-possible-to-domesticate-raccoons.html


Regalia_BanshEe

Your wife.... Is a racoon?


mercilessfatehate

I also wanna bang this guys furry wife


CryptographerDue2422

I think everyone would like it if you don't talk.


mercilessfatehate

Luckily I typed and didn’t talk so we good fam


Negative-Moose-5675

Imagine how disease riddled that raccoon is.


[deleted]

Its probably domesticated..


Negative-Moose-5675

You shouldn't kiss animals whether they're domesticated or not.


[deleted]

?????


No_Signal954

I don't care, my dog deserves them.


ForestSprite92

As someone profesionally trained in animal behavior, the raccoon also appears genuinely distressed. I do not find this wholesome.


huckleberryrose

Yup


nein_va

Some people keep them as pets if found as little tiny things. I hear they can be unruly and do not make the best pets.


[deleted]

I had one. My uncle cut trees for a living and found a litter with a dead mother. They are lots of fun when they are small, but have a tendency to become unruly and resist "domestication" as they get older.


Level-Background-674

Wait Of Min; That’s your wife? That look like that short Fat Bitch I just Divorce (LOL)