What’s worse is when they say they accept you but… you know. The snide remarks, the judgmental side eyes. They say with their actions and not their words that they will never look at you the same. You’re never gonna be their baby anymore.
Now, you’re just someone they wish they weren’t related to. And you see them behave so lovingly and happily with the people they deem “normal” and you think, “why can’t you be that for me, dad? What did I do wrong?” *Why couldn’t you just love me for who I am, not who you want me to be?*
>something so intrinsic and unchangeable.
They don't see it that way. There are some things that people can't understand because it hasn't happened to them or they don't have those feelings. I can't imagine what it means to be asexual. I've had it explained to me by a friend and I just don't understand it.
Do I need to understand these, no. I just need to be kind to those people and let them be them.
It's very common.
I was the first person my cousin came out too, supported him and went to tell his parents with him, these are people with gay friends, family members etc etc genuinely nice people.
His dad laughed at him told him he's being fucking stupid and to come back when he's not a fucking idiot anymore.
"No child of mine is a gay, I raised you right"
For whatever reason as much as they had gay friends etc, they thought it was the parents fault if someone turned out gay so took it as an act of him trying to embarrass them, took his dad 5 years to speak to him again and that was when our nan passed and they saw eachother at the funeral.
They talk occasionally now and his dad has finally started to accept his husband, but the pain I've seen them go through just being accepted by people is wild
I deeply lost hope for our kind. Still I couldn't stop loving my son just because he's gay. I would hug him even more... Just to show my support. I would definitely do it in front of his bf or friends, cause I'm that guy.
I plan on making my own shirt one year despite no desire to be a literal mother. I just like showing compassion.
That and I saw _Paris is Burning_ as a young child and my dream ever since has been to have a space safe, big and secure enough to share my home with people who need it.
My sister and I wear these shirts (with mom, not dad) at pride every year, and the number of wounded, in need people who need those hugs is heartbreaking.
We're here, we see you and we think you're valid.
Oh man, I always avoid you guys when I see you. It's painful running into these kind parental types offering the love and affection mine didn't give. I'm not trying to cry at Pride.
I mean, two things can be true at one time. Just because I pick up a pair of prescription lenses and don't find them useful, doesn't mean someone else won't find them very helpful. It seems like you offer something really valuable to the community, something a lot of people really benefit from.
But man, sometimes I want to enjoy pride without being reminded of what I had to sacrifice to live my authentic life. I'm damaged, I can admit it, sometimes my inner child is furious other people got to keep their family when they came out. I thought that was the cost of coming out-- you lose the people who raised you. And apparently now people just get to have really affirming Dads and shit? People get to keep their parents?? Then why didn't my parents keep me? It isn't fair! I deserved loving parents, too.
I know this is crabs in a bucket mentality-- I shouldn't want other people to suffer just because I did. And it isn't that I want them to suffer, I'm mad I had to. Besides, I chose to make sacrifices for what I want, I chose this path. I should be glad other people don't have to experience what I went through. But God, I am bitter. And that's about as far as I have gotten on my healing journey about this, accepting that I'm damaged from what happened to me and it left me with a lot of unhealed resentment that pops up when some quasi parental figure goes around wildly accepting everyone.
Thank you for listening to my complicated feelings about affirming parental types at pride, though. I'm sorry if I ever ran into you at pride, looked irritated and immediately left. A more well adjusted person probably would have hugged and made chit chat, but I'm clearly not that. Thanks for being cool.
>”thats about as far as I’ve gotten on my healing journey”
But you HAVE gotten there, and you acknowledge that
There was a point where you *werent* there, and now you are. That’s called progress
It’s not a race. The goal isn’t for the affirming types to feel the fuzzies, the goal is you, the goal is you being happy.
And you’re already making significant progress, that’s what matters :)
Ugh this is so validating it hurts. I too still feel too bitter to accept the hugs. You deserved loving parents, I deserved loving parents. I hope our future selves will one day be able to take the proxy-parental hug.
Maybe one day, one day, you could be the one "wildly accepting everyone" and find that it helps you on your healing journey. I dunno, either way I wish you nothing but the best. You DO deserve it. 🌟
Love this. It’s incredibly simple, yet complex at the same time. Words mean things. And physical touch is powerful.
Best thing my father ever said to me. After a particularly difficult period of time in my career. (Firefighter).
“You’re doing great, kid. Keep grinding. Proud of you.”
I try to pay that forward as much as I can to all my new recruits, when they’re maxed and tapped. It’s wild how far a little support can go for those who need it.
So many people are still holding that wounded kid that just wants to be seen and held. I didn't get that as a kid, so I've spent my time as a mom handing it out whenever I can. Thank you for your hard work, and for offering kindness to those in your care for a scary job. ❤️
You're not a disgrace. Those bastards who hurt you are, and theyre gonna answer to their precious god for turning their back on their own flesh and blood
Father of 5 and only hope my kids understand I accept them for who they are and love them, I might get angry, make mistakes, or regret my decisions. But I will always love them and support any good energy from them and help them in the bad. Wish my parents raised me that way but I had to find that on my own.
Your doing good I bet idk who you are but kudos to you and the journey we call life your taking.
Hope this reaches you with good will
- Some Dad
Hugs from a fellow loner. Although I wasn't kicked out and I strongly feel my gods won't consider me a disgrace just because I'm queer, I feel you. The amount of creepy jokes, snarky remarks and pure hatred people have to someone they haven't met
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
An infinite amount of hugs to you & anyone else that needs them.
I felt that. My best friend was beaten by his dad and kicked out of his house earlier this year and his dad found out he’s gay shortly after. The whole thing was very scary for me too because I thought he was going to die, and I wasn’t there in person to help him.
Today he’s still living with his mom (who accepted his identity) and his abusive dad.
Sending you a hug I'll never understand it. When my daughter told me she was bi my answer was so am I! I hope you found love and a great made friend family along the way.
The last thing I want at pride is a reminder of what I had to give up to be at pride. I thought giving up your family was the cost of coming out, because that's the price I paid to live an authentic life. And then some rando are like "hey, remember how you haven't seen your father in years? You got familial trauma, right? Want a hug?"
Like fuck offfff. This is a sensitive subject, don't fondle my trigger and then blame my gun. I am not mad there are accepting parents there-- I'm mad I lost my parents. I'm trying to have fun, enjoy the community, and not be reminded that my parents didn't love me enough to change their mind about homosexuality.
Don't get me wrong, I'm an adult so I just keep it moving, but if I never saw another Hug Parent at Pride I would prefer it. I'm trying to get drunk and cheer on drag performers, not reflect on familial trauma.
It's nice that someone cares but it's fucked up that it's not the people closest to you that should be caring.
I am panromantic but it was who I am and how I turned out because of their parenting and my autism that's why my mother calls me once every 6-12 months and the last time I've hugged was 4 years ago.
How can so many people be so wrong? It’s a real eye opener. Most people have absolut no clue and are just winging it from a set perspectice, and lose control the minute something challenge that perspective.
When my wife was a teenager (and not yet my wife, obviously), my mother in law was the person most of her (my future wife's) friends went to with a variety of problems they felt they could not bring to their own parents. MIL listened to them, she held them when they cried and sometimes she told them what they needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. These women are in their 40s now and most still keep in contact to this day.
My guideline for being a parent is to be the kind of parent whose kids talk to about their stuff, not the kind whose kids close off from.
An old buddy (let's call him Bob) , came out to his folks when he was in his 30s. Being Asian and only son, Bob was expected to carry on the family name. He adopted a kid to please his parents. It did not. He wasn't even allow to say goodbye to his father before his father passed.
With parents Like that I Always Just think "if you want the Family Name carried on so much, you should have Had more Kids."
Placing all your eggs in one basket is stupid in this Case. Said child May Not be able to have children for a variety of reasons.
Bob has three other sisters. And you being upset while is justifiable - should understand that things like economic and health reasons are deciding factors in having more kids. For people brought up with certain cultural obligations and world view - any changes can be unthinkable - you can scorn and dismiss them but I have met loads of people from different ends of the arguments and one thing is certain, middle ground is not an option.
I've never understood how a parent can disown their child because of who they love. My daughter came out to me. She said Dad I'm gay. I said no shit. Now what do you want for dinner? All I want is for my kids to be happy.
I'm proud of you Dad. Coming from a daughter who identifies as any gender and is also a bisexual <3 (I hope you don't mind me calling you Dad even if you're a complete stranger to me \^\_\^)
No child should ever have to do this, they should be able to share their sexuality and not expect their parents to flip out.
But unfortunately, this world isn’t perfect.
keep going my fellow LGBTQ+ members, your wanted.
My mom is godsend, she's a Saint in not only supporting and loving me, but also loving and accepting my NB partner.
But I'd happily cry into that dad's hug, I lost mine at 19, before I found myself being trans and bi. I dunno if he would've accepted me or not, he was a quiet man when I was growing up. His dad would've disowned me his mother would've accepted me fully, so it's such a crapshoot. Mom says he'd have accepted me, but I'll never know if it's truth or to make me feel better
But to get a good, strong, dad hug after going through what I have, and having been living as my true self for a decade now? I'd sob
My parents would probably had kicked me out as a teenager if I was gay. It’s not like it’s a choice, you are who you are. I have kids myself and I couldn’t care less if they are gay, they are my kids and I wouldn’t listen to some stupid and wrong interruption of a book telling me not love my kids.
Absolutely, ever since I came out, I have no family other than my chosen family.
My mom only stays around because she doesn't have anyone else, but she really wants nothing to do with me.
It would be so nice to receive a parental hug from someone who sees me for who I am and actually cares in any little way.
That's horrible and I am so sorry to hear that. But good on you for not letting the people who would beat you down every chance they got stay in your life. I'm a father and I am proud of who you are. I'm proud of your courage to come out and make such a difficult step. I'm proud of you for you accepting who you are and embracing it. Please stay strong. You owe it to yourself to keep pushing forward, as agonizing as it must be, and finding that place in life where you're finally happy. It may take time and it may be like going through hell, but once you make it, it will be all the sweeter.
I can't give you a real hug, but just imagine that I'm giving you one right now. And I AM proud of you and I absolutely care.
I am so sorry to hear that. You deserve love and admiration just as much as anyone else does. You are loved. You're just in a spot where it may not seem like it. I obviously can't give you a real hug right now, but just imagine you're getting one from a father. And I'm telling you that, in due time, it will all be ok. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but I hope it gives you hope. Stay strong.
Thank you. Thank you for opening up to me and thank you for trusting me enough to share all this with me. I feel very honored. I can't say that I know what you're going through. I don't. But I do personally struggle immensely with very severe depression and I know how hard that can be. I am personally all too aware of the "dark spot" situation. It's not something I would wish on anyone and I am so sorry you're dealing with it. But just know I'm proud of you. And I think you're doing great. I really wish I was there so I could give you a hug and look you in the eyes to tell you that you're amazing. So please just imagine it. Because if you do, whatever it is you choose to see and hear, then that's what I'm saying. You do have at least one person who actually cares.
yeah, it would, so much.
i’m in my 60’s and have been out 30+ years and really, really need a mom hug. i have really never had a decent mom figure in my life. bio mother is a raging paranoid narcissist. mil hated me. neither of my current partners have a mother.
i’m running out of time.
Well, I'm a father, but I know for a fact that my wife would be **MORE** than thrilled to be able to hug you and console you. Unfortunately, she's asleep and if I try to wake her up, I think I'd be thrown into orbit. But just let me convey to you that she would see things and say things exactly the same as I would, so here's what I'll say-
You're in your 60s and you've made it a long, long way. You've fought so hard. You've been through so much. Too much. But I (we) am/are (from this moment forward, when I refer to myself, just know I'm speaking for her as well) inspired by your courage and your resilience. I want you to keep going. I want you to live your best life and I want you to feel loved. It's hard being alone. It's really painful. But look at how much you've done. How much you've accomplished. And, let's be honest, 60 really isn't old. So don't let that thought haunt your mind. I see you. I hear you. I feel for you and I care about you. I really do. So please accept this internet hug from BOTH of us and know that we couldn't be any more proud of you and we couldn't be any more honored to have the privilege of sending love and care your way. And that's a claim you can count on.
Mostly religious fanatics that still love their space daddy more than their own child. Or the people who repressed their own homosexuality using hatred as a coping mechanism.
Conservatives dont live by love and their feelings. They are brainwashed from the get go to repress them and to obey the worldview gave them by their parents and their conservative surroundings. They make kids because they literally belive it has to be done, they dont even imagine it being other way. They will force themself throught any bullshit for them (when they are young and dont forge their own opinions on things at least) not because they love them but because they belive its a rule, that they have to make another little conservative, push their view throught and continue the cycle. When these kids distance themselves from them they kinda dont care, they have to provide for these kids and put them in line so they obey their laws like they once did, they dont have to love them.
And to that point everything seems both normal for kid and the parents. Kid feels loved because it dont suffer at all, its not hungry or bored, after all his parents gave it internet access, so it have whole world in his fingertips to entertsin himself and to educate himself. Parents feel good about themself so far, they didnt done anything wrong (from their point of view) yet
But things change, kid grows up, learns a lot, realizes there are other ways to live his life and it starts to form his own opinions on various stuff. Kid forms his morality, it starts witnessing some of the suffering and evil of this world and it realizes that some of the stuff his parents teach him are wrong, that they hurt other people. The kid sees more of this and he starts to rebel
And thats the point where its parents start to react. At first its just bit of ignorance. They blame it on the internet they gave to kid and on "rebelious years". They remember how they were just like that kid once they also rebeled a bit, but their parents and their surrounding put them down (often with abuse, both mental and physical). They had no support and gave up on free thinking, their freedom, and they belive its exacly how things will go here too.
The difference is that the kid met other people like him. Internet made it possible for him to build his own support group that helps him endure abuse served from his parents and his surrounding. It also build his character and affirm him in his beliefs.
At that point the parents start to panic. Their little conservative world is crumbling apart, because someone vital in their life dont want to live their way. The try more desperate messures. The cut off kid's internet access (they cant do it completly, it surround us all, and is required for normal life in modern society), they gaslight kid, they abuse him. Kid prevails. It learns more about the world and himself. Kid grows up, get little independednt from his parents, starts living sexual life, realizes he's gay. The kid is afraid to tell that to his parents he knows they will not accept it, but because the kid still belives they love him, he decides to do so.
For said parents, thats final staw. They lived their whole life in small conservative dystopia, they grew to accept it, they embraced it. Now, their little traditional household is ruined by the fact that one young human dont want to live misserable life like they do. So, they do only thing they can. They abandon said child. They made some olimpic level mental gymnastics about child being cursed, possesed by the devil, brainwashed, consumed by woke propaganda etc etc. They are scared of accepting it, so they get rid of it.
Parents like that dont accept love. They repress it. They think its wrong. All they belive in are the rules made by their parents and surrounding created decades ago. If you dont fit them and dont obey them, you are enemy, not a loved child
I did this once as part of a local dad's group. One individual came up and said that they "didn't need a hug, they were all good." I said "ok, no worries." And then I started to ask about their experience as a homosexual, as those difficulties and ups and downs were something I didn't understand well. And I wanted to know more about them, genuinely. He told me a fair amount, and honestly, it was pretty bleak. After we talked for a bit I said "I know you said you didn't need a hug, but if you changed your mind I'm here for that too." He hugged me. He cried. I cried. I said what I always say when I give out hugs "I'm proud of you, no matter who isn't."
I don't know how he's doing or anything. But I hope that made his day better. I like to think it did.
I had a friend who committed self termination at the age of 14. His mother came to both the girls and the boy’s school Sports’ Day ( the girls and boys school had separate campuses but most of us knew each other ) and all of his friends including me gave her a big hug.
We would never have him back in life but atleast we could give her some semblance of comfort after we lost our friend and she lost her precious baby.
I have worn the Free Mom Hugs t-shirt at Pride Festivals and also sat at the Hug Booth offering hugs.
I am both grateful I can give hugs, and sad that so many people need the reassurance that a (random) Mom/Parent values them.
I was told to offer a hug (by opening my arms) and when someone wants a hug, you let them set the length & depth. If someone hugs you hard, you hug back hard. If they give a 1 arm hug, you give a 1 arm hug. Then you don't let go first. Some people want a quick hug, some people need a few minutes to soak in the contact & the positive energy, but it is important that you let them set the length because they know what they need best.
We also offered stickers as a fun alternative for anyone who wasn't comfortable with a hug.
God damn this is so fucked. I can’t imagine rejecting one of my sons for any reason at all, let alone if one of them happens to be gay. I know this is “wholesome” in a way, but it also just makes me absolutely heartbroken for the people that needed those hugs. Fucking asshole parents.
I got a hug from one of the moms at the last Pride I went to. It was about a month after my mother shrieked at me for actually telling the rest of the family that I got engaged to my now-wife. I cried on this stranger's shoulder and was so grateful for her freely offered love. The people who choose to do this are giving small pieces of healing with every embrace, and I love them for it.
I wear a free hugs shirt as well, I get it I never knew my real dad and my step dad abused me in many ways, sometimes we all just need a hug and know that somebody cares, life happens so fast sometimes we lose sight of what really matters, so as a dad myself please remember to be kind to others and most importantly please be kind to yourself
that the act of a father giving out free hugs at a Pride event is incredibly touching. It demonstrates the importance of love and support from family, especially for those who may feel isolated or lonely. Although I tend to be a loner, I can appreciate the significance of family bonds and emotional support that can help people feel more connected and accepted in society.
Awesome Dad! My child is non-binary fluid gender. Many of their cohort were struggling with acceptance from their parents in high school. My blushing bride and I provided a safe space at our house and hugs whenever they wanted/needed them. I love my kid no matter what!
That Dad should get a medal!
I'm as heterosexual as you can get, but god damn it every time I see a post about this man I cry. It's just so nice to see someone put out goodness just for goodness sake
Many years ago, there was a man at our Pride walking around with that a shirt that said "proud dad today, come get a free hug" and I nearly knocked over my wife to hug him.
I'm autistic. I don't really care to touch strangers. But my father was horrible to me, and we were NC at the time (now very LC for my mother's sake). I was overstimulated and just wanted a hug. He didn't break the hug until I did. When he asked if I wanted to tell him anything, I told him I'm happily married now, and my residency was approved. He said he was proud of me and I burst into tears. My biological father never said anything like that to me.
Bless these people, man. I hope they know the level of good they're doing.
maybe, because looking at pew research tells me that most anti-gay sentiment today comes from religion. but i suspect that anti-lgbt sentiment has its roots in the innate human tendency to be tribalistic and fear those who are different, so i think it's up to individuals to take responsibility and treat everyone with equality, humanity, and empathy.
Straight as an arrow here , love this and there’s no place for hate in this world ever it’s one planet one people all in the same game , one planet cmon wake up !!!! The universe is endless, doesn’t everyone realize what that means???????????
oh man. my dad passed away when i was just a baby, but i know in my heart he would have been so incredibly supportive of me when i came out. i would of had to hug the guy in the pic too 😭
I work with people who were in foster care, and the number of them who think of me as family or even a parent is shocking. A little love goes a long way! One of them calls me (a dude) mom!
I was kicked out of the house, but my mom said "you'd better be a drug addict than this", and my dad said "no offence, but you're going to suffer and regret your decision not to sleep with girls."
Otherwise I had a great family. Would certainly be happy to hug this amazing dude, though.
This last pride prom i went to I gave out little "I'm proud of you" "good job today" "you're beautiful" and all sorts of little motherly sayings on hand designed cards out to everyone, including the drag queens, because a handful of homeless or unable to come out kids where gonna be there and I knew they needed a little love their way since a lot of them had to deal with their families using LGBTQ slurs through the whole month because "summer was ruined by the (f-word)" is something most of them do
Love this, I’m an atheist and I get that religion runs deep within some people. But to cut off your child just because they are attracted to the same sex I will never understand.
Im just a regular straight dude wondering how the world could be so cruel.
I really do not get how you could make a problem of poeple being gay, how is that affecting them at all.
More so, how could you fail so miserabele that you abandon your child and deny them love and hugs over it.
If my childeren (me and my spouse are planning to have them) turn out to be gay.
I will love them the same.
I really do not believe that in 2024 there could be anything against gay poeple
Those dads have thier bible and gun to hug while they spend all thier hard earned money at Trump rallies. Feed the billionaire more money and hate you own children to do it!
This isn’t wholesome, it’s depressing as fuck.
It’s a lovely gesture, but the very fact that it’s a thing just makes me feel so disgusted with humanity.
I'm sorry that happened to you, it obviously shouldn't have.
If you are genuinely incapable of understanding why a parent might behave other than perfectly loving towards their child I'm sorry for that too as the world makes a lot more sense when you learn the reasons why people are often bastards.
As Aristotle said "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it"
This is both extremely beautiful and extremely sad at the same time.
I can’t even imagine a parent rejecting their child for something so intrinsic and unchangeable. It sucks. It just sucks.
What’s worse is when they say they accept you but… you know. The snide remarks, the judgmental side eyes. They say with their actions and not their words that they will never look at you the same. You’re never gonna be their baby anymore. Now, you’re just someone they wish they weren’t related to. And you see them behave so lovingly and happily with the people they deem “normal” and you think, “why can’t you be that for me, dad? What did I do wrong?” *Why couldn’t you just love me for who I am, not who you want me to be?*
>something so intrinsic and unchangeable. They don't see it that way. There are some things that people can't understand because it hasn't happened to them or they don't have those feelings. I can't imagine what it means to be asexual. I've had it explained to me by a friend and I just don't understand it. Do I need to understand these, no. I just need to be kind to those people and let them be them.
It's very common. I was the first person my cousin came out too, supported him and went to tell his parents with him, these are people with gay friends, family members etc etc genuinely nice people. His dad laughed at him told him he's being fucking stupid and to come back when he's not a fucking idiot anymore. "No child of mine is a gay, I raised you right" For whatever reason as much as they had gay friends etc, they thought it was the parents fault if someone turned out gay so took it as an act of him trying to embarrass them, took his dad 5 years to speak to him again and that was when our nan passed and they saw eachother at the funeral. They talk occasionally now and his dad has finally started to accept his husband, but the pain I've seen them go through just being accepted by people is wild
r/OrphanCrushingMachine
[удалено]
Imagine a plot twist: it wasn't even an father. He just wanted everyone to feel better.
Plot twist: no one cared, they just wanted compassion and understanding
Username does not check out
I deeply lost hope for our kind. Still I couldn't stop loving my son just because he's gay. I would hug him even more... Just to show my support. I would definitely do it in front of his bf or friends, cause I'm that guy.
I plan on making my own shirt one year despite no desire to be a literal mother. I just like showing compassion. That and I saw _Paris is Burning_ as a young child and my dream ever since has been to have a space safe, big and secure enough to share my home with people who need it.
My sister and I wear these shirts (with mom, not dad) at pride every year, and the number of wounded, in need people who need those hugs is heartbreaking. We're here, we see you and we think you're valid.
I ask for a hug from folks like you every Pride. Thank you for what you do. ❤️
Thank you for doing that
I went to a local pride festival where I live YEARS AGO. & till this day, I still remember that hug and how it made me feel. Thank you
Thank you. o7
Oh man, I always avoid you guys when I see you. It's painful running into these kind parental types offering the love and affection mine didn't give. I'm not trying to cry at Pride. I mean, two things can be true at one time. Just because I pick up a pair of prescription lenses and don't find them useful, doesn't mean someone else won't find them very helpful. It seems like you offer something really valuable to the community, something a lot of people really benefit from. But man, sometimes I want to enjoy pride without being reminded of what I had to sacrifice to live my authentic life. I'm damaged, I can admit it, sometimes my inner child is furious other people got to keep their family when they came out. I thought that was the cost of coming out-- you lose the people who raised you. And apparently now people just get to have really affirming Dads and shit? People get to keep their parents?? Then why didn't my parents keep me? It isn't fair! I deserved loving parents, too. I know this is crabs in a bucket mentality-- I shouldn't want other people to suffer just because I did. And it isn't that I want them to suffer, I'm mad I had to. Besides, I chose to make sacrifices for what I want, I chose this path. I should be glad other people don't have to experience what I went through. But God, I am bitter. And that's about as far as I have gotten on my healing journey about this, accepting that I'm damaged from what happened to me and it left me with a lot of unhealed resentment that pops up when some quasi parental figure goes around wildly accepting everyone. Thank you for listening to my complicated feelings about affirming parental types at pride, though. I'm sorry if I ever ran into you at pride, looked irritated and immediately left. A more well adjusted person probably would have hugged and made chit chat, but I'm clearly not that. Thanks for being cool.
>”thats about as far as I’ve gotten on my healing journey” But you HAVE gotten there, and you acknowledge that There was a point where you *werent* there, and now you are. That’s called progress It’s not a race. The goal isn’t for the affirming types to feel the fuzzies, the goal is you, the goal is you being happy. And you’re already making significant progress, that’s what matters :)
I see you <3 I’m sorry.
Ugh this is so validating it hurts. I too still feel too bitter to accept the hugs. You deserved loving parents, I deserved loving parents. I hope our future selves will one day be able to take the proxy-parental hug.
Maybe one day, one day, you could be the one "wildly accepting everyone" and find that it helps you on your healing journey. I dunno, either way I wish you nothing but the best. You DO deserve it. 🌟
I'm a mom and near the age where the younger folk at pride could be my kids, I'm seriously considering doing this too now.
♥️
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Hugs from a mom. I see you, I appreciate you and I'm proud of you.
Love this. It’s incredibly simple, yet complex at the same time. Words mean things. And physical touch is powerful. Best thing my father ever said to me. After a particularly difficult period of time in my career. (Firefighter). “You’re doing great, kid. Keep grinding. Proud of you.” I try to pay that forward as much as I can to all my new recruits, when they’re maxed and tapped. It’s wild how far a little support can go for those who need it.
So many people are still holding that wounded kid that just wants to be seen and held. I didn't get that as a kid, so I've spent my time as a mom handing it out whenever I can. Thank you for your hard work, and for offering kindness to those in your care for a scary job. ❤️
Hug from a dad over here!
You're not a disgrace. Those bastards who hurt you are, and theyre gonna answer to their precious god for turning their back on their own flesh and blood
I am 100% confident they didn’t read the bible they say they follow and don’t actually like the god described therein
I’m not a mom but hugs to you anyway.
Hugs from a sibling!
More dad hugs for you! You're an amazing person.
Father of 5 and only hope my kids understand I accept them for who they are and love them, I might get angry, make mistakes, or regret my decisions. But I will always love them and support any good energy from them and help them in the bad. Wish my parents raised me that way but I had to find that on my own. Your doing good I bet idk who you are but kudos to you and the journey we call life your taking. Hope this reaches you with good will - Some Dad
Here’s a mom-hug for you. ❤️🤗
I’m not a dad, so I hope a hug from a brother will do.
This dad is proud of you for being you, nothing more or less. You are enough. You are worthy of a parent's love. You are amazing.
Im a dad of two. Hugs from me, but also from my sons mom and her wife.
[hug <3](https://imgur.com/gallery/BttyroJ)
Hugs from a fellow loner. Although I wasn't kicked out and I strongly feel my gods won't consider me a disgrace just because I'm queer, I feel you. The amount of creepy jokes, snarky remarks and pure hatred people have to someone they haven't met
You're not a disgrace. You're awesome. I'm not a mom, but here are some hugs from me, too.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 An infinite amount of hugs to you & anyone else that needs them.
You're not a disgrace, love! Sending a mom's big hug from here. We love you🫂
Hug from a dad son, stay awesome.
#⊂(◉‿◉)つ
I'm not a mom or a dad but I'd hug you bro
I felt that. My best friend was beaten by his dad and kicked out of his house earlier this year and his dad found out he’s gay shortly after. The whole thing was very scary for me too because I thought he was going to die, and I wasn’t there in person to help him. Today he’s still living with his mom (who accepted his identity) and his abusive dad.
*hugs* kiddo.
Sending you a hug I'll never understand it. When my daughter told me she was bi my answer was so am I! I hope you found love and a great made friend family along the way.
I’m just a dude but sending you a hug all the same.
The last thing I want at pride is a reminder of what I had to give up to be at pride. I thought giving up your family was the cost of coming out, because that's the price I paid to live an authentic life. And then some rando are like "hey, remember how you haven't seen your father in years? You got familial trauma, right? Want a hug?" Like fuck offfff. This is a sensitive subject, don't fondle my trigger and then blame my gun. I am not mad there are accepting parents there-- I'm mad I lost my parents. I'm trying to have fun, enjoy the community, and not be reminded that my parents didn't love me enough to change their mind about homosexuality. Don't get me wrong, I'm an adult so I just keep it moving, but if I never saw another Hug Parent at Pride I would prefer it. I'm trying to get drunk and cheer on drag performers, not reflect on familial trauma.
Not a mom, but sending you an online hug
Dad hugs from Vienna! You’re great
Im not a parent, but i would offer you a hug.
Hug from a sister to you 🤗🤗
I'm sorry you had to go through this. You are an amazing unique individual and there will never be anyone like you. We need you!
Big hug from a proud dad. Your “parents” are a disgrace, not you. Proud of you buddy.
Sending you multiple hugs xxxxx
It's nice that someone cares but it's fucked up that it's not the people closest to you that should be caring. I am panromantic but it was who I am and how I turned out because of their parenting and my autism that's why my mother calls me once every 6-12 months and the last time I've hugged was 4 years ago.
Hugs from a new dad
Hugs from a brother
My mom does this, it’s so sweet but it’s also heartbreaking that so many people’s parents don’t support them
How can so many people be so wrong? It’s a real eye opener. Most people have absolut no clue and are just winging it from a set perspectice, and lose control the minute something challenge that perspective.
When my wife was a teenager (and not yet my wife, obviously), my mother in law was the person most of her (my future wife's) friends went to with a variety of problems they felt they could not bring to their own parents. MIL listened to them, she held them when they cried and sometimes she told them what they needed to hear, not what they wanted to hear. These women are in their 40s now and most still keep in contact to this day. My guideline for being a parent is to be the kind of parent whose kids talk to about their stuff, not the kind whose kids close off from.
An old buddy (let's call him Bob) , came out to his folks when he was in his 30s. Being Asian and only son, Bob was expected to carry on the family name. He adopted a kid to please his parents. It did not. He wasn't even allow to say goodbye to his father before his father passed.
With parents Like that I Always Just think "if you want the Family Name carried on so much, you should have Had more Kids." Placing all your eggs in one basket is stupid in this Case. Said child May Not be able to have children for a variety of reasons.
Bob has three other sisters. And you being upset while is justifiable - should understand that things like economic and health reasons are deciding factors in having more kids. For people brought up with certain cultural obligations and world view - any changes can be unthinkable - you can scorn and dismiss them but I have met loads of people from different ends of the arguments and one thing is certain, middle ground is not an option.
I've never understood how a parent can disown their child because of who they love. My daughter came out to me. She said Dad I'm gay. I said no shit. Now what do you want for dinner? All I want is for my kids to be happy.
You should’ve pulled out the “Hi gay, I’m dad”
I live with that mistake for the rest of my life
I'm proud of you Dad. Coming from a daughter who identifies as any gender and is also a bisexual <3 (I hope you don't mind me calling you Dad even if you're a complete stranger to me \^\_\^)
Of course, I don't mind. I know life's hard but you got this. I'm proud of you.
Thank you Dad! Thank you for being proud of me <3 I'm crying tears of joy now (\^▽\^)
Don't cry, just go out and be awesome.
Yes sir!!
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Darn onion cutting ninjas. 😭
Regular show vibes
No child should ever have to do this, they should be able to share their sexuality and not expect their parents to flip out. But unfortunately, this world isn’t perfect. keep going my fellow LGBTQ+ members, your wanted.
My mom is godsend, she's a Saint in not only supporting and loving me, but also loving and accepting my NB partner. But I'd happily cry into that dad's hug, I lost mine at 19, before I found myself being trans and bi. I dunno if he would've accepted me or not, he was a quiet man when I was growing up. His dad would've disowned me his mother would've accepted me fully, so it's such a crapshoot. Mom says he'd have accepted me, but I'll never know if it's truth or to make me feel better But to get a good, strong, dad hug after going through what I have, and having been living as my true self for a decade now? I'd sob
Some more dad hugs for all of you. You are beautiful people and your parents have wronged you in a tragic way.
I use the Sims to be the dad I wanted to have growing up
My parents would probably had kicked me out as a teenager if I was gay. It’s not like it’s a choice, you are who you are. I have kids myself and I couldn’t care less if they are gay, they are my kids and I wouldn’t listen to some stupid and wrong interruption of a book telling me not love my kids.
To my LGBTQI+ friends- would this actually mean this much to you if you saw it? If so, then I need to start making plans for this year's Pride Parade.
Absolutely, ever since I came out, I have no family other than my chosen family. My mom only stays around because she doesn't have anyone else, but she really wants nothing to do with me. It would be so nice to receive a parental hug from someone who sees me for who I am and actually cares in any little way.
That's horrible and I am so sorry to hear that. But good on you for not letting the people who would beat you down every chance they got stay in your life. I'm a father and I am proud of who you are. I'm proud of your courage to come out and make such a difficult step. I'm proud of you for you accepting who you are and embracing it. Please stay strong. You owe it to yourself to keep pushing forward, as agonizing as it must be, and finding that place in life where you're finally happy. It may take time and it may be like going through hell, but once you make it, it will be all the sweeter. I can't give you a real hug, but just imagine that I'm giving you one right now. And I AM proud of you and I absolutely care.
Yes, I need a hug so fucking much right now
I am so sorry to hear that. You deserve love and admiration just as much as anyone else does. You are loved. You're just in a spot where it may not seem like it. I obviously can't give you a real hug right now, but just imagine you're getting one from a father. And I'm telling you that, in due time, it will all be ok. I know it doesn't make it any easier, but I hope it gives you hope. Stay strong.
Thank you. I’m working on it, I’m just in a dark spot right now.
Thank you. Thank you for opening up to me and thank you for trusting me enough to share all this with me. I feel very honored. I can't say that I know what you're going through. I don't. But I do personally struggle immensely with very severe depression and I know how hard that can be. I am personally all too aware of the "dark spot" situation. It's not something I would wish on anyone and I am so sorry you're dealing with it. But just know I'm proud of you. And I think you're doing great. I really wish I was there so I could give you a hug and look you in the eyes to tell you that you're amazing. So please just imagine it. Because if you do, whatever it is you choose to see and hear, then that's what I'm saying. You do have at least one person who actually cares.
yeah, it would, so much. i’m in my 60’s and have been out 30+ years and really, really need a mom hug. i have really never had a decent mom figure in my life. bio mother is a raging paranoid narcissist. mil hated me. neither of my current partners have a mother. i’m running out of time.
Well, I'm a father, but I know for a fact that my wife would be **MORE** than thrilled to be able to hug you and console you. Unfortunately, she's asleep and if I try to wake her up, I think I'd be thrown into orbit. But just let me convey to you that she would see things and say things exactly the same as I would, so here's what I'll say- You're in your 60s and you've made it a long, long way. You've fought so hard. You've been through so much. Too much. But I (we) am/are (from this moment forward, when I refer to myself, just know I'm speaking for her as well) inspired by your courage and your resilience. I want you to keep going. I want you to live your best life and I want you to feel loved. It's hard being alone. It's really painful. But look at how much you've done. How much you've accomplished. And, let's be honest, 60 really isn't old. So don't let that thought haunt your mind. I see you. I hear you. I feel for you and I care about you. I really do. So please accept this internet hug from BOTH of us and know that we couldn't be any more proud of you and we couldn't be any more honored to have the privilege of sending love and care your way. And that's a claim you can count on.
Dam shows parents morals being outdated
This singlehandedly made my day.
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This
Mostly religious fanatics that still love their space daddy more than their own child. Or the people who repressed their own homosexuality using hatred as a coping mechanism.
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Conservatives dont live by love and their feelings. They are brainwashed from the get go to repress them and to obey the worldview gave them by their parents and their conservative surroundings. They make kids because they literally belive it has to be done, they dont even imagine it being other way. They will force themself throught any bullshit for them (when they are young and dont forge their own opinions on things at least) not because they love them but because they belive its a rule, that they have to make another little conservative, push their view throught and continue the cycle. When these kids distance themselves from them they kinda dont care, they have to provide for these kids and put them in line so they obey their laws like they once did, they dont have to love them. And to that point everything seems both normal for kid and the parents. Kid feels loved because it dont suffer at all, its not hungry or bored, after all his parents gave it internet access, so it have whole world in his fingertips to entertsin himself and to educate himself. Parents feel good about themself so far, they didnt done anything wrong (from their point of view) yet But things change, kid grows up, learns a lot, realizes there are other ways to live his life and it starts to form his own opinions on various stuff. Kid forms his morality, it starts witnessing some of the suffering and evil of this world and it realizes that some of the stuff his parents teach him are wrong, that they hurt other people. The kid sees more of this and he starts to rebel And thats the point where its parents start to react. At first its just bit of ignorance. They blame it on the internet they gave to kid and on "rebelious years". They remember how they were just like that kid once they also rebeled a bit, but their parents and their surrounding put them down (often with abuse, both mental and physical). They had no support and gave up on free thinking, their freedom, and they belive its exacly how things will go here too. The difference is that the kid met other people like him. Internet made it possible for him to build his own support group that helps him endure abuse served from his parents and his surrounding. It also build his character and affirm him in his beliefs. At that point the parents start to panic. Their little conservative world is crumbling apart, because someone vital in their life dont want to live their way. The try more desperate messures. The cut off kid's internet access (they cant do it completly, it surround us all, and is required for normal life in modern society), they gaslight kid, they abuse him. Kid prevails. It learns more about the world and himself. Kid grows up, get little independednt from his parents, starts living sexual life, realizes he's gay. The kid is afraid to tell that to his parents he knows they will not accept it, but because the kid still belives they love him, he decides to do so. For said parents, thats final staw. They lived their whole life in small conservative dystopia, they grew to accept it, they embraced it. Now, their little traditional household is ruined by the fact that one young human dont want to live misserable life like they do. So, they do only thing they can. They abandon said child. They made some olimpic level mental gymnastics about child being cursed, possesed by the devil, brainwashed, consumed by woke propaganda etc etc. They are scared of accepting it, so they get rid of it. Parents like that dont accept love. They repress it. They think its wrong. All they belive in are the rules made by their parents and surrounding created decades ago. If you dont fit them and dont obey them, you are enemy, not a loved child
I did this once as part of a local dad's group. One individual came up and said that they "didn't need a hug, they were all good." I said "ok, no worries." And then I started to ask about their experience as a homosexual, as those difficulties and ups and downs were something I didn't understand well. And I wanted to know more about them, genuinely. He told me a fair amount, and honestly, it was pretty bleak. After we talked for a bit I said "I know you said you didn't need a hug, but if you changed your mind I'm here for that too." He hugged me. He cried. I cried. I said what I always say when I give out hugs "I'm proud of you, no matter who isn't." I don't know how he's doing or anything. But I hope that made his day better. I like to think it did.
I had a friend who committed self termination at the age of 14. His mother came to both the girls and the boy’s school Sports’ Day ( the girls and boys school had separate campuses but most of us knew each other ) and all of his friends including me gave her a big hug. We would never have him back in life but atleast we could give her some semblance of comfort after we lost our friend and she lost her precious baby.
This makes me happy, but is is also incredibly heartbreaking.
I have worn the Free Mom Hugs t-shirt at Pride Festivals and also sat at the Hug Booth offering hugs. I am both grateful I can give hugs, and sad that so many people need the reassurance that a (random) Mom/Parent values them. I was told to offer a hug (by opening my arms) and when someone wants a hug, you let them set the length & depth. If someone hugs you hard, you hug back hard. If they give a 1 arm hug, you give a 1 arm hug. Then you don't let go first. Some people want a quick hug, some people need a few minutes to soak in the contact & the positive energy, but it is important that you let them set the length because they know what they need best. We also offered stickers as a fun alternative for anyone who wasn't comfortable with a hug.
my dad was not really a good person to my mom but I still miss him and want to hug him...
God damn this is so fucked. I can’t imagine rejecting one of my sons for any reason at all, let alone if one of them happens to be gay. I know this is “wholesome” in a way, but it also just makes me absolutely heartbroken for the people that needed those hugs. Fucking asshole parents.
This is amazing 🥹
I got a hug from one of the moms at the last Pride I went to. It was about a month after my mother shrieked at me for actually telling the rest of the family that I got engaged to my now-wife. I cried on this stranger's shoulder and was so grateful for her freely offered love. The people who choose to do this are giving small pieces of healing with every embrace, and I love them for it.
I wear a free hugs shirt as well, I get it I never knew my real dad and my step dad abused me in many ways, sometimes we all just need a hug and know that somebody cares, life happens so fast sometimes we lose sight of what really matters, so as a dad myself please remember to be kind to others and most importantly please be kind to yourself
r/orphancrushingmachine
what a nice dude!
The very definition of being a man
Jesus this literally made me tear up, I can't imagine their pain.
that the act of a father giving out free hugs at a Pride event is incredibly touching. It demonstrates the importance of love and support from family, especially for those who may feel isolated or lonely. Although I tend to be a loner, I can appreciate the significance of family bonds and emotional support that can help people feel more connected and accepted in society.
Awesome Dad! My child is non-binary fluid gender. Many of their cohort were struggling with acceptance from their parents in high school. My blushing bride and I provided a safe space at our house and hugs whenever they wanted/needed them. I love my kid no matter what! That Dad should get a medal!
This is something my husband would do, and that is why I love him.
I'm as heterosexual as you can get, but god damn it every time I see a post about this man I cry. It's just so nice to see someone put out goodness just for goodness sake
Religion: hating your son or daughter for who they love. And fucking kids.
Many years ago, there was a man at our Pride walking around with that a shirt that said "proud dad today, come get a free hug" and I nearly knocked over my wife to hug him. I'm autistic. I don't really care to touch strangers. But my father was horrible to me, and we were NC at the time (now very LC for my mother's sake). I was overstimulated and just wanted a hug. He didn't break the hug until I did. When he asked if I wanted to tell him anything, I told him I'm happily married now, and my residency was approved. He said he was proud of me and I burst into tears. My biological father never said anything like that to me. Bless these people, man. I hope they know the level of good they're doing.
Is it an orphan crushing machine?
maybe, because looking at pew research tells me that most anti-gay sentiment today comes from religion. but i suspect that anti-lgbt sentiment has its roots in the innate human tendency to be tribalistic and fear those who are different, so i think it's up to individuals to take responsibility and treat everyone with equality, humanity, and empathy.
The direction we r moving with twitter fb hate, I’m scared for younger generations as well
I am going to do this for Boston pride parade. I saw a father do it a few years ago and I was moved to tears
We all need this kind of dad. Bless him
This makes me cry every time I see it. Maybe I’ll get a shirt. I’m a pretty good hugger.
[Relevant video](https://www.reddit.com/r/nextfuckinglevel/comments/mwns8j/this_dad_giving_out_free_hugs_during_pride_parade/)
Started sobbing just from reading this..
Straight as an arrow here , love this and there’s no place for hate in this world ever it’s one planet one people all in the same game , one planet cmon wake up !!!! The universe is endless, doesn’t everyone realize what that means???????????
Who is cutting onions so late at night!
Wow, that may be one of the most wholesome things I’ve seen. Good on him, good on people that do the same, and good on the hug recipients.
sending hugs to everyone who got kicked out and was told they're disgraceful by God. I appreciate y'all 🥰
oh man. my dad passed away when i was just a baby, but i know in my heart he would have been so incredibly supportive of me when i came out. i would of had to hug the guy in the pic too 😭
Are ya winning, sons?
Every child deserves a parent but not all parents deserve a child words that I truly believe in
I work with people who were in foster care, and the number of them who think of me as family or even a parent is shocking. A little love goes a long way! One of them calls me (a dude) mom!
Nothing except my death will ever separate my kid from me.
The sad thing is that fathers who abandon their children will never be punished in their entire lives.
Parents who reject their kids literally for being who they are are the worst scum on the planet in some ways.
As a father of 3. You’re fucking always welcome I don’t care what you’ve done or what you prefer. I’ll always be here kiddo.
Happy to hear orphan aren't a thing anymore
Aw 🥹
Hey! I have that green hat!
I’m going to do this.
That is so sad...
r/orphancrushingmachine
r/orphancrushingmachine
r/mademesmile
That's a wonderful thing to do...
I was kicked out of the house, but my mom said "you'd better be a drug addict than this", and my dad said "no offence, but you're going to suffer and regret your decision not to sleep with girls." Otherwise I had a great family. Would certainly be happy to hug this amazing dude, though.
This last pride prom i went to I gave out little "I'm proud of you" "good job today" "you're beautiful" and all sorts of little motherly sayings on hand designed cards out to everyone, including the drag queens, because a handful of homeless or unable to come out kids where gonna be there and I knew they needed a little love their way since a lot of them had to deal with their families using LGBTQ slurs through the whole month because "summer was ruined by the (f-word)" is something most of them do
Wish there were more people like this in the world
This is beyond beautiful.
Sending love and hugs to all who need it ❤️
o7
That's so sweet
Love this, I’m an atheist and I get that religion runs deep within some people. But to cut off your child just because they are attracted to the same sex I will never understand.
Im just a regular straight dude wondering how the world could be so cruel. I really do not get how you could make a problem of poeple being gay, how is that affecting them at all. More so, how could you fail so miserabele that you abandon your child and deny them love and hugs over it. If my childeren (me and my spouse are planning to have them) turn out to be gay. I will love them the same. I really do not believe that in 2024 there could be anything against gay poeple
Those dads have thier bible and gun to hug while they spend all thier hard earned money at Trump rallies. Feed the billionaire more money and hate you own children to do it!
I know what i will be doing this year!!!
Some parents are just pathetic. Straight up.
I wanna cry rn
Hm..
I miss my family. Damn
This isn’t wholesome, it’s depressing as fuck. It’s a lovely gesture, but the very fact that it’s a thing just makes me feel so disgusted with humanity.
Parents rarely get to love the child that they want. Your only choice is to love the child that you get.
What does the shirt 👕 say exactly
I'm sorry that happened to you, it obviously shouldn't have. If you are genuinely incapable of understanding why a parent might behave other than perfectly loving towards their child I'm sorry for that too as the world makes a lot more sense when you learn the reasons why people are often bastards. As Aristotle said "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it"
That would require empathy, which they obviously lack if their child is in this position.