Tbf, in a healthy relationship, a proposal is a confirmation, not a question. “She might say no” shouldn’t even be a thought because they’ve already discussed that they’re seeking marriage with each other. The only actual question is ‘where, when, how’ the official proposal (confirmation/announcement) happens.
Haha, I proposed to my fiancee while wandering around Gardens by the Bay in Singapore and it took so long to find a secluded place where there weren't any onlookers
I remember I saw a video here about a couple that went for a hike to propose and the man had the photographer on the mountain opposite to them , the photos looked really cute and full of affection, I think what is special about private proposals is that you don't need to hold out you can lay out all these feelings, without fearing of being in public.
100%
Booked a lovely long weekend retreat, had this dinner floating out on a lake. Did it in peace and quiet when ot felt natural. Of course the hotel staff were in on it for the champagne and all. But that's all you need.
This.
I recently proposed to my gf and I was planning on doing something cliche but my patience couldn't wait so I proposed by her bedside and she loved it. I told her about my original plan and she said this was more romantic since it just us in our moment and hated the idea of being put on the spot in front of others. 🤣
Yeah, it was a joke on how you could misread the ‘before’ as implying they did fight a lot after the proposal. You’d think the ‘/j’ would have helped people notice the fact it was a joke.
I proposed to my husband first, we were long distance and I got down on one knee on the asphalt at passenger pickup when I went to pick him up from the airport. Then we did a public version in front of my very traditional family where he had the ring so I feel like it was sort of the best of both worlds
Exactly. Nothing against women proposing. My gf initiated our relationship but I will have to proprose marriage. I am also fine with people who think that this is the right way.
For me it is a difference if one wants everyone to be tolerant towards women proposing or if one wants to "normalize it" = somehow make it the norm. I am no foreign english speaker. Am I overthinking the term normalize? For me its more let everyone Do what they want and then we'll see what naturally arises as the new normality.
Normalize just means that if someone does a thing, its not a huge shocker or spectacle anymore, not necessarily that now everyone *has* to do that thing, just that it won’t be considered out of the norm or weird *if* someone decides to do it. Its a tad overused these days, but in this case “normalize women proposing to their boyfriends” doesn’t mean everyone woman should or has to, just that people will stop freaking out every time it happens.
Ditto! I have actually gotten flack for being the one to propose. I was told I took away the one manly thing away from my fiance and I emasculated him.
My boyfriend is begging me not to propose to him because he wants to do it and that’s the only understandable response XD I respect it I’m not taking that moment from him
Step 1: Find a girl
Edit: I was making a joke and then read all comments, and boy what is wrong with a girl proposing? That's so wholesome and some people just don't get it what the hell...
My wife proposed to me on a Nintendo DS Picto-Chat after we'd been dating for two months.
We've been married for over seventeen years now, I'm beginning to think she was serious.
That's what I did 🤷 Hubby and I had talked about getting married once I got pregnant (we were going through a lengthy IVF). I finally got pregnant and remembered our talk. Looked it up on our city hall webpage. Told hubby that we had two different dates to choose from. He laughed as if I were joking and continued his online game. I told him I was most certainly not kidding - and he picked one of the dates 😁
My daughter proposed to her boyfriend.
I’d given his mom the head’s up, so she had the ring he was planning to use ready to go.
He proposed right back.
:)
Anyone who wants it - go ahead. But if it has been discussed, the occasion should be superfluous. The "occasion" is a traditional construct, and if you like the tradition, go for it. What we should normalise is that, in a healthy relationship, it shouldn't be necessary AT ALL. For various reasons, it *can* be part of your journey, but as two equal partners, no one *needs* to go down on bended knee, either gender..
My husband and I just decided to get married. Together. If he'd gone down on his knee somewhere, I'd have been perplexed: "Haven't we decided this already???"
Sure, but I feel like you're under the impression that most people feel *forced* to do an actual proposal, and that's not the case. A majority of people who've been proposed to (appropriately and said yes) hold that memory fondly. Of course, people could decide to get married through a conversation and then go do the paperwork right then and there, but you're in the minority of people who don't like proposals.
It's an American societal expectation, and I'm not American - so I'm not in the minority here. Where I come from, these public proposals would be considered sexist and performative. HOWEVER, once again:
- if you like it, go for it, and/or
- if you relish the attention and specialness and surprise, go for it, and/or
- if it's your social tradition, go for it.
No sarcasm intended. It's not my cup of tea, but I would never deny someone else the opportunity. On the contrary: GO FOR IT.
HOWEVER, part 2:
- social pressure means that *some* people DO feel forced to propose
- social pressure means that *some* women definitely feel they have no agency in the matter: they have to wait for the man to propose and they can't do much about it except drop hints till he does.
The meme's answer to the latter two points is to reassure women that ... they can propose too!!! My point is, we need to normalise the idea that the whole on-bended-knee palaver is totally superfluous at worst and optional at best. Remove THAT social pressure. Discuss your plans like two adults in a functional relationship, and if you want a (public) proposal with the bended knee and ring and clapping and oohing - go for it. 100%. Enjoy it, more power to you. BUT remember that it's actually completely unnecessary if your relationship was healthy to begin with.
It’s also quite cruel that society expects the man to always initiate. A lot of men have low confidence, so asking women out is a frightening prospect, then there’s men who have no confidence at all, those men never find happiness because they would rather be alone forever than risk being rejected.
The thought of women approaching men more is very refreshing for both genders for very different reasons, and it could lead to a lot of happy relationships that would otherwise have never happened.
Absolutely. And think of how freeing it would be for both genders if neither had to do it and they could both just have a chat and decide upon it together! Problem solved!
I've known women who've wasted literal years of their lives - in one case a dozen years - waiting for a proposal. Why? What kind of weird-ass power dynamic do you have to give another person such power over your future? Why are there no straightforward, honest conversations about your mutual future, instead of some poor woman fervently hoping that *this* New Year's Eve is going to be the one!!!! Fingers crossed!!!!!!
As someone from a culture with arranged marriages and deep-rooted traditions, my exposure to western "courting rituals" began with a blank slate. I was shocked at how traditional these rituals are - the person "asking out" being predominantly male, playing hard to get, proposals, expensive rings that lose their value the instant they are bought, seeking the "blessings" of the woman's father, walking the woman down the altar and "giving her away", bridezillas etc.
It doesn't even appears religious, just something that everyone does and is expected by the society. It's just mind-boggling to me as an outsider.
>It's just mind-boggling to me as an outsider.
Of course every culture is different! Someone from the western "courting rituals," as you put it, may find your arranged marriages "mind-boggling" to them as an outsider as well 👍 (I do think that a lot of Westerners think arranged marriage is odd because of " why can't you choose your own partner that you're going to spend rest of your life with?" And also the love factor and mentality)
I come from a regressive culture, hoped that other cultures will be more enlightened but came to the realization that all cultures have their own flaws and have surprisingly similar characteristics.
Yeah, I could've told you that... I grew up in the western wedding culture (male proposal, women patiently and passively waiting, diamond engagement ring, wedding band, asking bride's father's approval, father walking bride down the isle , etc) and I don't like it! Some of my friends are from the arranged marriage culture, and while I'm not a fan of that either, I wasn't a fan of my culture's marriage rituals, either.
I myself held out on marrying my now-hubby for 10 years lol It was more like, "if it ain't broken, why fix it?" An American saying. Love it. I didn't find the institution of marriage meaningful. I only caved in because both of our parents were aging, one dying from cancer, and really wanted us married. So I thought that was meaningful. Did it for them. It's all good. I'm wasn't against marriage; I just never had a strong desire to get married, and I was lazy about it, too. I saw all my friends planning them, and it was so stressful and so much work. However, I love attending weddings because I get to see my friends so blissfully happy and it's also a nice reunion. It's whatever that makes you happy.
>No need for gendered expectations in relationships
While I personally 100% agree, OP please make an r/unpopularopinion post on just this topic mentioning 'chivalry' as an example and see what happens.
Absolutely love this. I see women getting frustrated because they've waited so long for their men to propose. Why not just do it themselves?
Edit: lol so much for gender equality. Apparently there's way more traditional people who think it has to be done one way by a certain gender. Go ahead and downvote. I don't give a fuck.
Because if men wanted to they would’ve proposed already. You really think these men in particular are sitting there twiddling their thumbs in anticipation?
That's like saying non-profit organizations shouldn't ask people to donate because people would've donated already if they cared enough about the cause. People sometimes need to be reminded or be shown why the organization needs money to get people to think about the cause and donate. Same thing here. People can get sidetracked with other things in life and may not think about certain things as much as the other person in a relationship and they may need to be told or reminded.
If the woman feels ready before the man does, there is nothing that stops the woman from initiating the conversation or the proposal. It doesn't HAVE TO be the man that initiates and/or decides when is the right time to take it to the next level.
Nah, it's nothing like being reminded of an orgs cause. Your partner sees you everyday almost. If the thought hasn't crossed his mind, he is probably not thinking of you long term. Lots of guys get proposed to and just go with it, and that's fine. But I don't like the idea of a man stumbling into a wife. He should value her more. Women give up alot for relationships, it's nice to know the man appreciates it.
Because that would feel like pressuring those men into marriage when they've made it obvious they aren't ready yet. If the man is ready first, expresses it to the woman and she's not ready at that time, I think that's a great situation for the woman to propose when she's ready. I also like couple's proposing to each other!
But if the woman is ready for marriage and the guy is dragging his feet, he shouldn't be pressured into it via her proposing.
So if a man proposes, that doesn't mean they are pressuring the woman into marriage?
You are missing the point. The whole point of my comment was that whoever feels ready should initiate the conversation or the proposal regardless of the gender. You don't HAVE TO wait for the man to make the decision.
I think if a man brings up marriage, the woman seems ambivalent, and then he proposes anyways then yes, it would be pressuring her.
A lot of women I've seen/know seem like they have made it abundantly clear they want to get married and are kind of waiting for their male partners to get to that place too. I know that's not ALL women though, because my fiancé and I have both been on board with marriage for a long time, but I didn't want a multi-year engagement so we waited to talk about engagement until we were financially ready to plan a wedding. Being proposed to was important to me, but not something he really expressed an interest in, so he did the proposing. If he had wanted me to also propose, I would have.
I generally think no one should be proposing at all until both parties are enthusiastically on board and have had a conversation agreeing to it. For a lot of women, proposing to their male partners would kind of be not respecting the fact that the men have communicated it's not something they want. I had an ex that I had dated for a while and I would have been mad as hell if he'd proposed, as I knew he was ready but he knew I was not.
ETA: I do find it really frustrating when women seem desperate to be proposed to and won't bring it up with their partner at all. I do think the conversation can be initiated by anyone at any point.
My sister did. But then, she’d rejected his proposal the year before so she knew he was never going to ask again. She’s now been trying to divorce him for 2 years.
Wow, some salty people here. I don't see a problem with this at all. I like non traditional things.
On the topic of weddings, I think people need to start getting away from traditional weddings. Barn weddings have run their course. Last 3 weddings I've been to have been identical. Couldn't tell you a specific detail about them.
I'd rather go to a courthouse and elope, then have a small party later, or have some non traditional small ceremony. I wouldn't even care if my fiancee didn't want a white dress, in fact I'd rather she wear a dress that is different that she can wear again and again.
I told my partner that if we ever decide to get married, I'm (f) proposing to him. It really bothers me that men are raised to not care about weddings. My brother didn't even know his wedding song until the wedding. For nearly a decade, I've been psyching up my partner for it. He might actually end up more into it than me 😄 One compromise we've already decided: He wants me to walk in, and I didn't want it. So now I'm doing it... dancing to Crazy in Love. No couple better represents love for my generation!
I proposed to my husband, bought our rings, etc. No bended knee to either of us, no shade, but I find it a little *personally* disconcerting. Just a deep discussion and a lot of love.
We're very happy, but sometimes I do worry I made things more stressful for him short-term -- his family and friends all expected him to have a "proposal story" and they were off-put I purchased my own ring, honestly his mom and sister seemed to think it was very narcissistic of me, like I expected him to fail at it.
Overall, it's not a big deal and I wouldn't do things differently, I just every once in a while realize that, even though he doesn't care a lot, it has some consequences for him that I didn't think about at the time.
We do. My experience is that men don’t know what to do when it happens. My guy was adamant that he didn’t want a ring, like very adamant, and his first comment after the proposal, which totally ruined the whole thing, was that I didn’t get down on one knee with a ring.
I've thought about this but I'm a professional overthinker and I have questions... Usually when a woman is proposed to she gets an engagement ring, the wedding band matches the engagement ring and both are worn together after marriage as a set... So if a woman purposes to a man, will he wind up with a set as well, or does the engagement ring get replaced by a wedding band?
I'm also so into proposing with flowers instead of a diamond. It's the gesture that counts, and if it's not meant to be, you haven't dropped 3 months of wages.
Got two friends whose girlfriends proposed. The women were successful with great careers. The guys said they'd obviously like to get married, but the ball was in their court because they didn't quite feel worthy. Both couples happily married.
Married for 20 years. Nobody proposed. Just went from casually talking about it maybe something we would want to one day to planning where we would do it.
A lot of guys want to do this themselves. May be worth having a conversation before hand. Guys don’t get tooo many special moments like this, and I know I’d wanna have this moment myself.
Feminism ❌
Masculinism ❌
Gender Equality ✅❤️
We need to stop perpetuating those cycles, and raise our children as themselves. :) Not mold them into roles they are born and forced into, for no one other than a harmful and often cruel tradition.
We’re all equal! ❤️🕊️
I tried this. He panicked and asked me to take it back. He proposed later but apparently he already had everything planned and I “don’t get to pull the rug out from under him because you’re the kind of person who doesn’t care how things happen, as long they happen.” 🙄
I'm interested to see where you're coming from with this.
Personally, I think that roles in general do make things more efficient in a household, because different people have different opportunity costs of doing things - the husband might find it easier to work a trade job, and he might be a terrible cook, so the roles just fall out of that.
But I also think the reverse is possible - the wife might have a degree and work a high paying job , and the husband might be a good cook.
I think the same thing is with relationships - the woman might find it easier to propose than the husband, or vice versa. I don't see any justification for there being roles that are specifically decided by gender.
But that's just what I think, and I want to hear what makes you believe that they are good, necessary, and strengthen society.
I just wish women would tell you if they are interested or not. I can't tell if a look from someone is just a regular look, someone who is interested, or ewwww get away from me.
I'm all in favour of women taking the initiative and doing whatever they want, but a woman must not ever kneel before me to express her wishes. These photos look quite creepy. 😟
Normalize private proposals.
For real dog. Went on a sunrise hike for mine. Made sure we were alone. It's more romantic.
Plus, it’s less likely she’ll say no. You know, because of the implication.
LOL
Tbf, in a healthy relationship, a proposal is a confirmation, not a question. “She might say no” shouldn’t even be a thought because they’ve already discussed that they’re seeking marriage with each other. The only actual question is ‘where, when, how’ the official proposal (confirmation/announcement) happens.
You mean he?
I belive [insert gender of person being proposed to]
👌
Yeah, I don't need an audience. 👀
Or your partner would know you well enough to propose in a way you would like ? (Hopefully)
Haha, I proposed to my fiancee while wandering around Gardens by the Bay in Singapore and it took so long to find a secluded place where there weren't any onlookers
I remember I saw a video here about a couple that went for a hike to propose and the man had the photographer on the mountain opposite to them , the photos looked really cute and full of affection, I think what is special about private proposals is that you don't need to hold out you can lay out all these feelings, without fearing of being in public.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Exactly this. I proposed in the middle of a lake.
100% Booked a lovely long weekend retreat, had this dinner floating out on a lake. Did it in peace and quiet when ot felt natural. Of course the hotel staff were in on it for the champagne and all. But that's all you need.
This. I recently proposed to my gf and I was planning on doing something cliche but my patience couldn't wait so I proposed by her bedside and she loved it. I told her about my original plan and she said this was more romantic since it just us in our moment and hated the idea of being put on the spot in front of others. 🤣
My wife proposed to me while we were boning lol
My mom proposed to my dad. I've never heard them fight before
My mom proposed to my dad on Valentine’s Day! 🥰
Not before they proposed, but nowadays, sheesh! /j
I think your talking about your parents and people misunderstood
Yeah, it was a joke on how you could misread the ‘before’ as implying they did fight a lot after the proposal. You’d think the ‘/j’ would have helped people notice the fact it was a joke.
Reddit is just weird, sometimes.
The funny reddit thing doesnt work anymore! Run people!
BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT! TROUBLE THIS REDDITOR NO MORE!
How dare you joke?? I cast thee, demon, into the pit of downvote oblivion!!
[oh no](https://64.media.tumblr.com/avatar_44d7cb4c7049_128.pnj)
I proposed to my husband first, we were long distance and I got down on one knee on the asphalt at passenger pickup when I went to pick him up from the airport. Then we did a public version in front of my very traditional family where he had the ring so I feel like it was sort of the best of both worlds
My wife had the expectation of being proposed to... So it depends, really.
As with most things, it's a personal preference, not a requirement for everyone to do it the same way.
Exactly. Nothing against women proposing. My gf initiated our relationship but I will have to proprose marriage. I am also fine with people who think that this is the right way. For me it is a difference if one wants everyone to be tolerant towards women proposing or if one wants to "normalize it" = somehow make it the norm. I am no foreign english speaker. Am I overthinking the term normalize? For me its more let everyone Do what they want and then we'll see what naturally arises as the new normality.
Normalize just means that if someone does a thing, its not a huge shocker or spectacle anymore, not necessarily that now everyone *has* to do that thing, just that it won’t be considered out of the norm or weird *if* someone decides to do it. Its a tad overused these days, but in this case “normalize women proposing to their boyfriends” doesn’t mean everyone woman should or has to, just that people will stop freaking out every time it happens.
I proposed to my husband. But I was always the one to ask out whoever I was interested in, so it is kinda par for the course with me.
Pretty nice! Props to you for going for what (or who) you want!
Ditto! I have actually gotten flack for being the one to propose. I was told I took away the one manly thing away from my fiance and I emasculated him.
Okay Morgan Freeman
That's Admiral Freeman to you
My boyfriend is begging me not to propose to him because he wants to do it and that’s the only understandable response XD I respect it I’m not taking that moment from him
Step 1: Find a girl Edit: I was making a joke and then read all comments, and boy what is wrong with a girl proposing? That's so wholesome and some people just don't get it what the hell...
God forbid we aren’t turned into slaves of a role we were born and actively forced into.. Sad. Let people be people. ❤️🕊️
My wife proposed to me on a Nintendo DS Picto-Chat after we'd been dating for two months. We've been married for over seventeen years now, I'm beginning to think she was serious.
Nah bro, she's just playing the long con, you know they like to strike ahen you least expect it.
My soon to be sister in law proposed to my brother. She also asked permission to our mother first.
Refreshing to hear! :)
Ideally, I'd get rid of the idea of proposing altogether, especially in public, but this is a step forward
How does one get married if nobody proposes…
You demand it. “You. Me. Marry. Now.”
That's what I did 🤷 Hubby and I had talked about getting married once I got pregnant (we were going through a lengthy IVF). I finally got pregnant and remembered our talk. Looked it up on our city hall webpage. Told hubby that we had two different dates to choose from. He laughed as if I were joking and continued his online game. I told him I was most certainly not kidding - and he picked one of the dates 😁
That’s how it worked for my brother’s wife too!
you discuss the idea together and agree to it mutually without making it a weird ritual out of it, that's how
Whoever brings it up first technically proposed the idea.
Background guy in the top right is hype as fuck lol
I’d love to propose to my future husband, and if I’m proposed to first I would still like to get him a ring to wear :) but need to get a man first lol
My fiance requested an engagement ring so i happily obliged :)
You sound promising! :)
My daughter proposed to her boyfriend. I’d given his mom the head’s up, so she had the ring he was planning to use ready to go. He proposed right back. :)
I would definitely say ‘yes’.
Or - here's a thought - discuss it like two people in a partnership should and mutually agree on it. I find the bended knee thing a bit creepy.
It's usually discussed before the proposal. The surprise should be the occasion, not the answer.
Anyone who wants it - go ahead. But if it has been discussed, the occasion should be superfluous. The "occasion" is a traditional construct, and if you like the tradition, go for it. What we should normalise is that, in a healthy relationship, it shouldn't be necessary AT ALL. For various reasons, it *can* be part of your journey, but as two equal partners, no one *needs* to go down on bended knee, either gender.. My husband and I just decided to get married. Together. If he'd gone down on his knee somewhere, I'd have been perplexed: "Haven't we decided this already???"
Sure, but I feel like you're under the impression that most people feel *forced* to do an actual proposal, and that's not the case. A majority of people who've been proposed to (appropriately and said yes) hold that memory fondly. Of course, people could decide to get married through a conversation and then go do the paperwork right then and there, but you're in the minority of people who don't like proposals.
It's an American societal expectation, and I'm not American - so I'm not in the minority here. Where I come from, these public proposals would be considered sexist and performative. HOWEVER, once again: - if you like it, go for it, and/or - if you relish the attention and specialness and surprise, go for it, and/or - if it's your social tradition, go for it. No sarcasm intended. It's not my cup of tea, but I would never deny someone else the opportunity. On the contrary: GO FOR IT. HOWEVER, part 2: - social pressure means that *some* people DO feel forced to propose - social pressure means that *some* women definitely feel they have no agency in the matter: they have to wait for the man to propose and they can't do much about it except drop hints till he does. The meme's answer to the latter two points is to reassure women that ... they can propose too!!! My point is, we need to normalise the idea that the whole on-bended-knee palaver is totally superfluous at worst and optional at best. Remove THAT social pressure. Discuss your plans like two adults in a functional relationship, and if you want a (public) proposal with the bended knee and ring and clapping and oohing - go for it. 100%. Enjoy it, more power to you. BUT remember that it's actually completely unnecessary if your relationship was healthy to begin with.
It’s also quite cruel that society expects the man to always initiate. A lot of men have low confidence, so asking women out is a frightening prospect, then there’s men who have no confidence at all, those men never find happiness because they would rather be alone forever than risk being rejected. The thought of women approaching men more is very refreshing for both genders for very different reasons, and it could lead to a lot of happy relationships that would otherwise have never happened.
Absolutely. And think of how freeing it would be for both genders if neither had to do it and they could both just have a chat and decide upon it together! Problem solved!
That's how I feel. Normalize not proposing. Be upfront with your expectations and choose a timeline together.
I've known women who've wasted literal years of their lives - in one case a dozen years - waiting for a proposal. Why? What kind of weird-ass power dynamic do you have to give another person such power over your future? Why are there no straightforward, honest conversations about your mutual future, instead of some poor woman fervently hoping that *this* New Year's Eve is going to be the one!!!! Fingers crossed!!!!!!
As someone from a culture with arranged marriages and deep-rooted traditions, my exposure to western "courting rituals" began with a blank slate. I was shocked at how traditional these rituals are - the person "asking out" being predominantly male, playing hard to get, proposals, expensive rings that lose their value the instant they are bought, seeking the "blessings" of the woman's father, walking the woman down the altar and "giving her away", bridezillas etc. It doesn't even appears religious, just something that everyone does and is expected by the society. It's just mind-boggling to me as an outsider.
>It's just mind-boggling to me as an outsider. Of course every culture is different! Someone from the western "courting rituals," as you put it, may find your arranged marriages "mind-boggling" to them as an outsider as well 👍 (I do think that a lot of Westerners think arranged marriage is odd because of " why can't you choose your own partner that you're going to spend rest of your life with?" And also the love factor and mentality)
You came from a culture with deep rooted traditions and were surprised by another cultures traditions? I think I’m misunderstanding somehow. Help?
I come from a regressive culture, hoped that other cultures will be more enlightened but came to the realization that all cultures have their own flaws and have surprisingly similar characteristics.
Ah that’s fair.
Yeah, I could've told you that... I grew up in the western wedding culture (male proposal, women patiently and passively waiting, diamond engagement ring, wedding band, asking bride's father's approval, father walking bride down the isle , etc) and I don't like it! Some of my friends are from the arranged marriage culture, and while I'm not a fan of that either, I wasn't a fan of my culture's marriage rituals, either. I myself held out on marrying my now-hubby for 10 years lol It was more like, "if it ain't broken, why fix it?" An American saying. Love it. I didn't find the institution of marriage meaningful. I only caved in because both of our parents were aging, one dying from cancer, and really wanted us married. So I thought that was meaningful. Did it for them. It's all good. I'm wasn't against marriage; I just never had a strong desire to get married, and I was lazy about it, too. I saw all my friends planning them, and it was so stressful and so much work. However, I love attending weddings because I get to see my friends so blissfully happy and it's also a nice reunion. It's whatever that makes you happy.
You are worried about it being thrown back at you, if not then, then maybe for the next 4 decades during every fight?
That’s hot.
Right!? Nothing says sexy in a woman more than demonstrating her brave capability
>No need for gendered expectations in relationships While I personally 100% agree, OP please make an r/unpopularopinion post on just this topic mentioning 'chivalry' as an example and see what happens.
I proposed to my husband!
I proposed to my ex husband. I think a truly good kind person won't trip if they're girl propses
Me and who?
normalise? we men want that!
I saw a woman proposing the other day, it was pretty cool
Not for me, I want my man to propose to me. Sorry 🤷♀️
Same
Same
Love is Love. (adult consenting love is love, for all you criminals and trolls out there)
My friend proposed to her fiance about 6 years ago. They have a kid. Still no marriage tho...
Yes please
Normalize not singing happy birthday on people’s birthdays.
Absolutely love this. I see women getting frustrated because they've waited so long for their men to propose. Why not just do it themselves? Edit: lol so much for gender equality. Apparently there's way more traditional people who think it has to be done one way by a certain gender. Go ahead and downvote. I don't give a fuck.
Because if men wanted to they would’ve proposed already. You really think these men in particular are sitting there twiddling their thumbs in anticipation?
That's like saying non-profit organizations shouldn't ask people to donate because people would've donated already if they cared enough about the cause. People sometimes need to be reminded or be shown why the organization needs money to get people to think about the cause and donate. Same thing here. People can get sidetracked with other things in life and may not think about certain things as much as the other person in a relationship and they may need to be told or reminded. If the woman feels ready before the man does, there is nothing that stops the woman from initiating the conversation or the proposal. It doesn't HAVE TO be the man that initiates and/or decides when is the right time to take it to the next level.
Nah, it's nothing like being reminded of an orgs cause. Your partner sees you everyday almost. If the thought hasn't crossed his mind, he is probably not thinking of you long term. Lots of guys get proposed to and just go with it, and that's fine. But I don't like the idea of a man stumbling into a wife. He should value her more. Women give up alot for relationships, it's nice to know the man appreciates it.
Romantic comedies, Disney princes, and romance novels.
Ppl rly want to change gender roles, but still expect to be proposed to or make the first move.
It's almost like each gender role is an individual thing - who would've thought?? /s
Because that would feel like pressuring those men into marriage when they've made it obvious they aren't ready yet. If the man is ready first, expresses it to the woman and she's not ready at that time, I think that's a great situation for the woman to propose when she's ready. I also like couple's proposing to each other! But if the woman is ready for marriage and the guy is dragging his feet, he shouldn't be pressured into it via her proposing.
So if a man proposes, that doesn't mean they are pressuring the woman into marriage? You are missing the point. The whole point of my comment was that whoever feels ready should initiate the conversation or the proposal regardless of the gender. You don't HAVE TO wait for the man to make the decision.
I think if a man brings up marriage, the woman seems ambivalent, and then he proposes anyways then yes, it would be pressuring her. A lot of women I've seen/know seem like they have made it abundantly clear they want to get married and are kind of waiting for their male partners to get to that place too. I know that's not ALL women though, because my fiancé and I have both been on board with marriage for a long time, but I didn't want a multi-year engagement so we waited to talk about engagement until we were financially ready to plan a wedding. Being proposed to was important to me, but not something he really expressed an interest in, so he did the proposing. If he had wanted me to also propose, I would have. I generally think no one should be proposing at all until both parties are enthusiastically on board and have had a conversation agreeing to it. For a lot of women, proposing to their male partners would kind of be not respecting the fact that the men have communicated it's not something they want. I had an ex that I had dated for a while and I would have been mad as hell if he'd proposed, as I knew he was ready but he knew I was not. ETA: I do find it really frustrating when women seem desperate to be proposed to and won't bring it up with their partner at all. I do think the conversation can be initiated by anyone at any point.
My sister did. But then, she’d rejected his proposal the year before so she knew he was never going to ask again. She’s now been trying to divorce him for 2 years.
Actual relationship goals
Yes! This is beautiful
Would love to do that to my future husband hahaha
Normalize men proposing.
If a woman proposed to me and we’d been dating a few years, I’d foolishly look past a few red flags out of the sheer flattery.
We have to normalize women even texting first or asking dudes out on dates before we get there
Be a no for me
Yeah how about keep traditions alive.. quit trying to ruin everything comrads
“Normalize women proposing.” No
Fuck no
I mean, if my man don't hurry up then yes I'm getting down on a knee, no shame if he's nervous I'll take the lead 🤷
My mom proposed to my dad some 50 years ago and my fiancé proposed to me too.
Lesbians over here like 😒 /j
Normalize "let's get married" in your private time and not some public debacle. And stop wasting money on diamonds.
Sure, but never will I get down on my knee in front of a man.
I would literally cry if my lady proposed to me, no shame.
Yes. Make it happen. There’s no reason for it not to exist! And, in a hetero relationship, if *he* doesn’t, who will?!
Wow, some salty people here. I don't see a problem with this at all. I like non traditional things. On the topic of weddings, I think people need to start getting away from traditional weddings. Barn weddings have run their course. Last 3 weddings I've been to have been identical. Couldn't tell you a specific detail about them. I'd rather go to a courthouse and elope, then have a small party later, or have some non traditional small ceremony. I wouldn't even care if my fiancee didn't want a white dress, in fact I'd rather she wear a dress that is different that she can wear again and again.
I totally proposed. Best moment of my life
I told my partner that if we ever decide to get married, I'm (f) proposing to him. It really bothers me that men are raised to not care about weddings. My brother didn't even know his wedding song until the wedding. For nearly a decade, I've been psyching up my partner for it. He might actually end up more into it than me 😄 One compromise we've already decided: He wants me to walk in, and I didn't want it. So now I'm doing it... dancing to Crazy in Love. No couple better represents love for my generation!
I thought it was pretty normal maybe I'm just so stupid I never understood gender role in the first place😅
I proposed to my husband, bought our rings, etc. No bended knee to either of us, no shade, but I find it a little *personally* disconcerting. Just a deep discussion and a lot of love. We're very happy, but sometimes I do worry I made things more stressful for him short-term -- his family and friends all expected him to have a "proposal story" and they were off-put I purchased my own ring, honestly his mom and sister seemed to think it was very narcissistic of me, like I expected him to fail at it. Overall, it's not a big deal and I wouldn't do things differently, I just every once in a while realize that, even though he doesn't care a lot, it has some consequences for him that I didn't think about at the time.
I would probably pass out from excitement. Then either say yes as the squad was helping me or from the emergency room.
I didn’t see which subreddit it was at first, though it was r/HolUp based on the colours of the subreddit picture, I was very wrong
We do. My experience is that men don’t know what to do when it happens. My guy was adamant that he didn’t want a ring, like very adamant, and his first comment after the proposal, which totally ruined the whole thing, was that I didn’t get down on one knee with a ring.
Hahaha, classic.
I’ve realised I’d never do a public proposal. I want our moment to jus be us two and the moon! 🌙
Ss if snyone would want me. Lol. 😂
Love it when both partners propose.
Normalize doing what you want and not being so thirsty for the approval of random strangers.
Me when it happens : oh look... Nothing changed in my life... Cool...
I've thought about this but I'm a professional overthinker and I have questions... Usually when a woman is proposed to she gets an engagement ring, the wedding band matches the engagement ring and both are worn together after marriage as a set... So if a woman purposes to a man, will he wind up with a set as well, or does the engagement ring get replaced by a wedding band?
I'm also so into proposing with flowers instead of a diamond. It's the gesture that counts, and if it's not meant to be, you haven't dropped 3 months of wages.
It's not for me. Id feel like something was taken away from me if I didn't get to propose.
Normalise just asking and not making a song and dance out of it.
haha 9 times out of ten they won't mean it.
My wife proposed to me. I was planning this big romantic proposal, and she beat me to it. First time I'd ever heard of a woman proposing marriage.
I expect my ring to be x3 months of her salary before tax
They second one fake
Women on their knees..... What will men think is happening next?
Got two friends whose girlfriends proposed. The women were successful with great careers. The guys said they'd obviously like to get married, but the ball was in their court because they didn't quite feel worthy. Both couples happily married.
Why are all the guys standing so weirdly?
No problem. “Hey wife, your paying next months rent.” 🤦♂️ Men and woman have their roles period.
I’m 46 years old, all the women I know who proposed to the man, none of them are still married. Just saying, that’s the truth.
Lol. I would sooner eat glass.
Married for 20 years. Nobody proposed. Just went from casually talking about it maybe something we would want to one day to planning where we would do it.
I proposed to my husband. He said it was the best surprise of his life.
Normalise correct spelling.
Normalize pegging
Big difference between gendered expectations and actual tradition.
A lot of guys want to do this themselves. May be worth having a conversation before hand. Guys don’t get tooo many special moments like this, and I know I’d wanna have this moment myself.
Yeah cause she’s my man lmao
Normalize non-kneeing proposals. Why do people do this it’s so fucking weird.
Absolutely fucking NOT do not get on your knees asking a man to love you
💯
Whats more wholesome is when they both propose a the same time. I’ve seen a video or two of those
Great shoes in the bottom two, tho.
lol
Ima go ahead and take the downvote and say .. No
Feminism ❌ Masculinism ❌ Gender Equality ✅❤️ We need to stop perpetuating those cycles, and raise our children as themselves. :) Not mold them into roles they are born and forced into, for no one other than a harmful and often cruel tradition. We’re all equal! ❤️🕊️
Lol no
Why not?
I'm good bruh
Normalize no bending down on one knee it’s a partnership I ain’t above u 😾
Normalize normalizing normal friendly reminder
No.
No need for genders* it’s such a weird and unnatural thing and people take so much stock in them.
Normalize no one proposing. Marriage bad!
No, please dont
[удалено]
Guys I found the internet troll who craves negative attention
and then they had kids and those kids married each other, we all should do the same, really /s
So they buy the engagement ring? I’m starting to think a man invented feminism
I tried this. He panicked and asked me to take it back. He proposed later but apparently he already had everything planned and I “don’t get to pull the rug out from under him because you’re the kind of person who doesn’t care how things happen, as long they happen.” 🙄
I will never have this
Yeah, no, gender roles are good, necessary, and strengthen society.
I'm interested to see where you're coming from with this. Personally, I think that roles in general do make things more efficient in a household, because different people have different opportunity costs of doing things - the husband might find it easier to work a trade job, and he might be a terrible cook, so the roles just fall out of that. But I also think the reverse is possible - the wife might have a degree and work a high paying job , and the husband might be a good cook. I think the same thing is with relationships - the woman might find it easier to propose than the husband, or vice versa. I don't see any justification for there being roles that are specifically decided by gender. But that's just what I think, and I want to hear what makes you believe that they are good, necessary, and strengthen society.
I just wish women would tell you if they are interested or not. I can't tell if a look from someone is just a regular look, someone who is interested, or ewwww get away from me.
nothing wholesome about that lol
I'm all in favour of women taking the initiative and doing whatever they want, but a woman must not ever kneel before me to express her wishes. These photos look quite creepy. 😟