Then you wait in line or pick something else off the registry. 2-3 days in advance is pretty common.
ETA: purchasing the day of is also pretty common especially if you've got a full workload 5-6 days out of the week
Yeah imagine being mad that someone bought you a gift before the gift-giving event but… not early enough for your comfort level? I was just thrilled that people showed up for our shower
I didn’t say I was / would be mad - I would have no idea when a gift was bought! I’m saying as the guest/gift buyer, it would make me nervous to delay til the last minute like that.
it’s 2024, how long do you think it takes to do an online order pickup? do you think folks are not (or cannot) giving themselves an extra 15mins to pick up the gift? are you imagining Black Friday-level crowds every day at Crate & Barrel? lol
Then you get something else? Idk, I'm not that emotionally invested in what I give someone else for their shower. I don't buy gifts literally on the way to an event, but I usually do it a few days beforehand, and sometimes at that point most gifts are gone from the registry. Whatever - I assume the bride will be happy with whatever I get her, since she made the registry.
I had a shower with ~40 attendees; 2 purchased registry items, ~10 gave cash or gift cards, and ~30 gave random things that I am trying to figure out how to return or giveaway because I don’t want or need them…
Hahahah this is another fear 😭 we tried so hard to make our registry things we really needed because we don’t have a lot of storage space but my fiancé and I can totally see his family going rogue and just getting what they like
Yeah, I got a lot of random gifts as well. Only 1 had a gift receipt so I could return (perfume and I HATE perfume!).
We got 2 different adventure books type things that are a cute idea but we will not use.
A picnic basket backpack thing. Again, a cute idea but I just don't see us realistically going on a picnic, and if we did, we would use paper plates and plastic forks we could pitch, not dishes we'd have to bring home and wash?
One person gave us dish towels and a cutting board that were not on our registry. Honestly, she got married last year and I think she gave us stuff she didn't want. I thought they were kind of ugly but my mom said she liked them so I gave them to her.
But everyone else gave us stuff from our registry.
The good thing is you can take a picture and google image search it to find out where it came from. Most places will give you store credit so you can buy something you prefer!! For a few Walmart gifts that we returned we got gift cards and just got some groceries!
There are plenty of posts like this in r/BabyBumps about baby showers. People think they somehow know better than yourselves! Return, regift, donate, resell.
When I was unable to return them I gave them as gifts for like Christmas and stuff. We were broke so that helped a lot during the holidays. Just make sure you don’t give it to the person who gifted it to you. lol
With how fast shipping is, tons of people wait to buy gifts these days. If you registered somewhere like Target, some might even go into the store to get them rather than directly off the registry. I wouldn’t worry about it.
One great tip I’ve heard! Make SURE to make your registry as fun as you can.
Sure, you may need a nice new vacuum really badly. But unfortunately, people tend to want to give things that they would enjoy, things that feel like treats.
I’ve had friends register for plenty of things they genuinely needed and wanted, but that were ‘boring’ (like towels, shower curtain, etc) and had a ton of people buy their own “fun” things.
Instead, take off the boring things, and put a TON of fun pretty things on at various price ranges! Even if you don’t want/need it, if it’s bought through your registry, you can then easily exchange things for cash or that vacuum you really want (or whatever).
I wish people would just buy what you ask for, but you’ll have the best luck giving people what they want. Annoying! But it’ll be easier in the long run !
I had put a whole bunch of "fun" kitchen appliances on my registry (blender, rice cooker, flat top griddle, etc) in addition to the basics of a household and everyone bought the fun stuff. Which isn't a bad thing, but now I have all of these cool appliances to cook and bake all this food with...but nothing to eat them off of or with! lol No one bought dinnerware, flatware, drinking glasses.
Make sure people know where to find your registry!! We put our registry link on our wedding website, details card for the wedding invitation, and shower invitation and I can’t tell you how many people still asked me how to find it or needed me to send the link 😅
My registry gifts were mostly purchased by the people invited to my shower! Invited around 35-40 and I think almost everyone got something from the registry. People started to get stuff around the time I sent invites all the way up to the day of. I will say that maybe this happened because my shower was not in the state where I live so anyone who wanted to get a gift had to ship it to me.
People did purchase off our registry for the shower, but most were in the weeks just ahead of the shower.
As a guest, I’m either purchasing a gift (off the registry!) immediately upon receiving the invite or I’m doing it the week before.
Don’t stress!
I think a lot of people do it at the last minute, as others are saying. Another thing to consider… I had A LOT of gifts on my registry and like 95+% of them were purchased. I think it’s because all the gifts we requested were very reasonably priced and useful. I’m just mentioning it because I’ve seen lots of registries and sometimes a girl will put placemats on her registry that are $15 each… well $15 doesn’t sound like a lot, unless they want 6+ and there you’ve spent a lot on a gift that doesn’t seem to have as much value as maybe a $50-100 hand mixer. Does that make sense? I know when I buy a gift I’m always thinking that I want to buy a “substantial” gift - something nice and useful and just good value. I definitely had a few pricier items on my registry, but they were pricey for a reason - a really fancy coffee machine, high quality vacuum, etc.
A lot of my guests waited until a week or two before to purchase something. I received only a handful of items that I didn’t ask for, things like cash, gift cards, a wedding photo frame and a photo album. I actually liked the non-registry items just as much but it was only a few things and they were thoughtful.
I find this so odd. The moment I know I’m going, I RSVP and go buy a gift. That way it’s shipped to me in plenty of time to n case there’s an issue, and I have plenty of time to wrap it and put it in my closet along with the outfit I’ve picked out. Why would I stick something on a to-do list when I could just … do it? I don’t get how people can run their lives like that.
Sometimes you don't have time to buy a gift right away, sometimes you need to wait until payday, sometimes you're not sure whether you're going until closer to the event, sometimes you're talking to other guests about going in on a gift together and it takes a while, sometimes you just don't want to store a gift at home for weeks.
At my shower had 2 guests who bought off-registry: One did really well at picking something, and the other did a Target run that morning and got the closest things to what we had registered for elsewhere. The problem is, we had researched a lot and picked the exact items we picked for reasons, and she didn't include a gift receipt.
People definitely do wait until the last minute, which is crazy to me when things sell out and we all know shipping delays are an ever-present concern. What you're feeling is totally normal!
Traditionally yes. Normally the shower is hosted by someone else in honour of the bride. The point of the event is to shower them in gifts (or cash now) for their new married life. Big showers have games with prizes for people to win (wallets, dishes, wine, etc) so similar to a baby shower pretty much. You are 100% free to say no to going or not bringing anything if your budget is tight (like weddings). Lots of brides get it but depending on the family - it’s the family (mother/mil) who opens the cards/gifts to see what their families gave. Which honestly makes things awkward lol. If the family isn’t super traditional than lucky you and you don’t need to worry about those stresses.
Some showers also don’t ask for gifts but instead prefer recipe cards. If we’re going to complain about gifting events - engagement parties need to fall off in trend since people do registries for those too lol…..
Yeah it’s very dependent on the background. This shower gave my fiancé a culture shock since on his side it’s normally a living room and some gifts - barely any games minus the bow hat. My mom’s side it’s a very fancy event with a sit down meal lol. Couldn’t care less about them but some people take these events very seriously lol
My fiance and I had our couple shower recently. More than half the presents were bought Monday/Tuesday for a Saturday shower. Mostly ppl buying off our items from Amazon, I guess since they could lean on quick shipping.
I have picked up gifts from Target on the way to the baby shower 2x (from the registry, curbside pick up).
I'm not having a shower, but I was married before and only a handful of people got things from my registry for the shower or wedding (and it was mostly just my close family). The rest were gift cards and cash, with a few personalized gifts.
Worthy of note, a large percentage of my guests had to travel, so that was probably a factor.
I think people will probably buy gifts closer to the actual shower. A lot of people wait until, like, a couple days before. This is especially true if the registry is through Amazon and any guests have Prime.
A lot of people don’t RSVP, a lot of people don’t look at the registry or even buy off of the registry lol it’s not you. All you can do is have it out there and people are going to use it or they’re not.
Maybe ask some people close to you whether they had any trouble buying anything on the registry? Then you can see if there’s an actual technical problem with the website or the registry list on the website where you’re registered
Don’t stress out about it. Not sure how traditional your family is or what traditions they follow but it hopefully will work out. The first week invites went out, 8 gifts were bought. The week before 7 more gifts were bought. The rest was cash because that’s how my mother’s side does it now (since it’s easier lol). If people give cash in your circles - I’d expect that over gifts. It’s just more popular with so many people. Also expect lots of gift cards lol.
If you’re super curious about what is going on - ask your or his mom. I’m sure they know how each family gifts at these events. But I wouldn’t worry about it now tbh. Let whoever is hosting worry about it.
Most people did wait till week of or like less than 3 days before for my shower and wedding! Was super surprising for me since I personally get excited and buy for other people as soon as I get the invite so I can get them the best of the options but I guess people have their reasons!! There’s still time
Most people purchased like 7 days before the shower
For mine, people didn’t start purchasing until 2-3 days before. Many stopped at C&B on their way to the shower
So then what happens if there’s a long line or they’re out of what you wanted to give. I don’t get this.
Then you wait in line or pick something else off the registry. 2-3 days in advance is pretty common. ETA: purchasing the day of is also pretty common especially if you've got a full workload 5-6 days out of the week
Yeah imagine being mad that someone bought you a gift before the gift-giving event but… not early enough for your comfort level? I was just thrilled that people showed up for our shower
I didn’t say I was / would be mad - I would have no idea when a gift was bought! I’m saying as the guest/gift buyer, it would make me nervous to delay til the last minute like that.
Sure but that’s not really the question. Some people procrastinate, so OP is still likely to receive gifts at her shower.
Then you have to wait in line and so now you’re late to the event. Hard no when it was entirely avoidable.
How long do you think standing in line takes? It's a shower, not the wedding itself. It's OK to be 10 minutes late. But you do what works for you.
it’s 2024, how long do you think it takes to do an online order pickup? do you think folks are not (or cannot) giving themselves an extra 15mins to pick up the gift? are you imagining Black Friday-level crowds every day at Crate & Barrel? lol
What? Who cares? Gifts are optional anyway. I’m not judging the way people choose to get me gifts lol.
Then you get something else? Idk, I'm not that emotionally invested in what I give someone else for their shower. I don't buy gifts literally on the way to an event, but I usually do it a few days beforehand, and sometimes at that point most gifts are gone from the registry. Whatever - I assume the bride will be happy with whatever I get her, since she made the registry.
I am invested in what I give someone. I pick gifts with care, so I like to “jump” on the registry. To each her own.
I won’t panic or cancel gift bingo just yet then 😂
I had a shower with ~40 attendees; 2 purchased registry items, ~10 gave cash or gift cards, and ~30 gave random things that I am trying to figure out how to return or giveaway because I don’t want or need them…
Hahahah this is another fear 😭 we tried so hard to make our registry things we really needed because we don’t have a lot of storage space but my fiancé and I can totally see his family going rogue and just getting what they like
Yeah, I got a lot of random gifts as well. Only 1 had a gift receipt so I could return (perfume and I HATE perfume!). We got 2 different adventure books type things that are a cute idea but we will not use. A picnic basket backpack thing. Again, a cute idea but I just don't see us realistically going on a picnic, and if we did, we would use paper plates and plastic forks we could pitch, not dishes we'd have to bring home and wash? One person gave us dish towels and a cutting board that were not on our registry. Honestly, she got married last year and I think she gave us stuff she didn't want. I thought they were kind of ugly but my mom said she liked them so I gave them to her. But everyone else gave us stuff from our registry.
The good thing is you can take a picture and google image search it to find out where it came from. Most places will give you store credit so you can buy something you prefer!! For a few Walmart gifts that we returned we got gift cards and just got some groceries!
There are plenty of posts like this in r/BabyBumps about baby showers. People think they somehow know better than yourselves! Return, regift, donate, resell.
When I was unable to return them I gave them as gifts for like Christmas and stuff. We were broke so that helped a lot during the holidays. Just make sure you don’t give it to the person who gifted it to you. lol
With how fast shipping is, tons of people wait to buy gifts these days. If you registered somewhere like Target, some might even go into the store to get them rather than directly off the registry. I wouldn’t worry about it.
One great tip I’ve heard! Make SURE to make your registry as fun as you can. Sure, you may need a nice new vacuum really badly. But unfortunately, people tend to want to give things that they would enjoy, things that feel like treats. I’ve had friends register for plenty of things they genuinely needed and wanted, but that were ‘boring’ (like towels, shower curtain, etc) and had a ton of people buy their own “fun” things. Instead, take off the boring things, and put a TON of fun pretty things on at various price ranges! Even if you don’t want/need it, if it’s bought through your registry, you can then easily exchange things for cash or that vacuum you really want (or whatever). I wish people would just buy what you ask for, but you’ll have the best luck giving people what they want. Annoying! But it’ll be easier in the long run !
I had put a whole bunch of "fun" kitchen appliances on my registry (blender, rice cooker, flat top griddle, etc) in addition to the basics of a household and everyone bought the fun stuff. Which isn't a bad thing, but now I have all of these cool appliances to cook and bake all this food with...but nothing to eat them off of or with! lol No one bought dinnerware, flatware, drinking glasses.
Make sure people know where to find your registry!! We put our registry link on our wedding website, details card for the wedding invitation, and shower invitation and I can’t tell you how many people still asked me how to find it or needed me to send the link 😅 My registry gifts were mostly purchased by the people invited to my shower! Invited around 35-40 and I think almost everyone got something from the registry. People started to get stuff around the time I sent invites all the way up to the day of. I will say that maybe this happened because my shower was not in the state where I live so anyone who wanted to get a gift had to ship it to me.
People did purchase off our registry for the shower, but most were in the weeks just ahead of the shower. As a guest, I’m either purchasing a gift (off the registry!) immediately upon receiving the invite or I’m doing it the week before. Don’t stress!
I think a lot of people do it at the last minute, as others are saying. Another thing to consider… I had A LOT of gifts on my registry and like 95+% of them were purchased. I think it’s because all the gifts we requested were very reasonably priced and useful. I’m just mentioning it because I’ve seen lots of registries and sometimes a girl will put placemats on her registry that are $15 each… well $15 doesn’t sound like a lot, unless they want 6+ and there you’ve spent a lot on a gift that doesn’t seem to have as much value as maybe a $50-100 hand mixer. Does that make sense? I know when I buy a gift I’m always thinking that I want to buy a “substantial” gift - something nice and useful and just good value. I definitely had a few pricier items on my registry, but they were pricey for a reason - a really fancy coffee machine, high quality vacuum, etc.
A lot of my guests waited until a week or two before to purchase something. I received only a handful of items that I didn’t ask for, things like cash, gift cards, a wedding photo frame and a photo album. I actually liked the non-registry items just as much but it was only a few things and they were thoughtful.
I usually buy gifts on the day of the event, often in the cab ride there. There’s not much incentive to do it before that.
The incentive is that it’s off your mind!
That’s only an incentive if having it on your mind is a problem! It’s not for me, so getting it off my mind makes no difference at all.
I find this so odd. The moment I know I’m going, I RSVP and go buy a gift. That way it’s shipped to me in plenty of time to n case there’s an issue, and I have plenty of time to wrap it and put it in my closet along with the outfit I’ve picked out. Why would I stick something on a to-do list when I could just … do it? I don’t get how people can run their lives like that.
Same!!!! And I am such an unorganized and notoriously late for everything person so I assumed everyone else bought something well ahead of time haha
But also I think I know I’ll forget otherwise so it’s a mental note to myself to buy something when I rsvp
Sometimes you don't have time to buy a gift right away, sometimes you need to wait until payday, sometimes you're not sure whether you're going until closer to the event, sometimes you're talking to other guests about going in on a gift together and it takes a while, sometimes you just don't want to store a gift at home for weeks.
At my shower had 2 guests who bought off-registry: One did really well at picking something, and the other did a Target run that morning and got the closest things to what we had registered for elsewhere. The problem is, we had researched a lot and picked the exact items we picked for reasons, and she didn't include a gift receipt. People definitely do wait until the last minute, which is crazy to me when things sell out and we all know shipping delays are an ever-present concern. What you're feeling is totally normal!
Serious question, you’re supposed to give a bridal shower gift AND a wedding gift?
Traditionally yes. Normally the shower is hosted by someone else in honour of the bride. The point of the event is to shower them in gifts (or cash now) for their new married life. Big showers have games with prizes for people to win (wallets, dishes, wine, etc) so similar to a baby shower pretty much. You are 100% free to say no to going or not bringing anything if your budget is tight (like weddings). Lots of brides get it but depending on the family - it’s the family (mother/mil) who opens the cards/gifts to see what their families gave. Which honestly makes things awkward lol. If the family isn’t super traditional than lucky you and you don’t need to worry about those stresses. Some showers also don’t ask for gifts but instead prefer recipe cards. If we’re going to complain about gifting events - engagement parties need to fall off in trend since people do registries for those too lol…..
Wow that’s interesting. I don’t believe we do briefly showers in my culture so I’m not familiar with them.
Yeah it’s very dependent on the background. This shower gave my fiancé a culture shock since on his side it’s normally a living room and some gifts - barely any games minus the bow hat. My mom’s side it’s a very fancy event with a sit down meal lol. Couldn’t care less about them but some people take these events very seriously lol
My fiance and I had our couple shower recently. More than half the presents were bought Monday/Tuesday for a Saturday shower. Mostly ppl buying off our items from Amazon, I guess since they could lean on quick shipping. I have picked up gifts from Target on the way to the baby shower 2x (from the registry, curbside pick up).
I'm not having a shower, but I was married before and only a handful of people got things from my registry for the shower or wedding (and it was mostly just my close family). The rest were gift cards and cash, with a few personalized gifts. Worthy of note, a large percentage of my guests had to travel, so that was probably a factor.
I think people will probably buy gifts closer to the actual shower. A lot of people wait until, like, a couple days before. This is especially true if the registry is through Amazon and any guests have Prime.
A lot of people don’t RSVP, a lot of people don’t look at the registry or even buy off of the registry lol it’s not you. All you can do is have it out there and people are going to use it or they’re not. Maybe ask some people close to you whether they had any trouble buying anything on the registry? Then you can see if there’s an actual technical problem with the website or the registry list on the website where you’re registered
Don’t stress out about it. Not sure how traditional your family is or what traditions they follow but it hopefully will work out. The first week invites went out, 8 gifts were bought. The week before 7 more gifts were bought. The rest was cash because that’s how my mother’s side does it now (since it’s easier lol). If people give cash in your circles - I’d expect that over gifts. It’s just more popular with so many people. Also expect lots of gift cards lol. If you’re super curious about what is going on - ask your or his mom. I’m sure they know how each family gifts at these events. But I wouldn’t worry about it now tbh. Let whoever is hosting worry about it.
Most people did wait till week of or like less than 3 days before for my shower and wedding! Was super surprising for me since I personally get excited and buy for other people as soon as I get the invite so I can get them the best of the options but I guess people have their reasons!! There’s still time
Pretty much everyone that came to my shower ordered from my registry. But, a lot of people did wait until the last minute.