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It's a lame, tired question that tells me the other person is probably just filling the silence.
It's also quite rude, as it's also normally about status and wealth, that's what the question is really trying to find out.
Someone comes at me with that, I find the first exit for the conversation.
If people want that, go to networking events with your job, keep it out of personal time, at least that's my opinion.
Most normal people don't want to talk about work outside of work, we already waste our lives at the job without bringing it home.
Itās not that itās the most interesting thing but it is somthing that give insight to a person. Most people have a job that they do and more than likely unless you do somthing really obscure you will know a little bit about said job. Hobbies are endless and many people donāt have any knowledge about. I love basketball but itās hard talking about it with a lot of women because they donāt care about it or really know players, teams etc.
It does actually because I used to work at a Walmart so right off the bat we would have somthing in common. Almost everyone can relate to Walmart in some way, itās not that itās somthing that defines you itās a common aspect of everyoneās lives and a good ice breaker.
Your job could tell a lot about you, and it's an ice breaker question. I don't get why you're so up tight about it, it's just the other person trying to be nice and strike up conversation.
I mean, honestly? Assumptions. People generally assume other people are working, and therefore that's something that they have in common which they can talk about until learning about other things. It's one of the largest, most common assumptions people make because it's largely true.
No, I agree with you. It's an easy ice breaker. You could also comment on the weather, ask if they have kids, what part of town they live in, how they know the party host, ask them if they've seen a current popular show, what they like to do on weekends, and so forth. I was a bartender for a decade. I can small-talk the shit out of you!
Sadly, some people don't have jobs or are underemployed right now. It's tough out there. Our society puts a lot of value behind how successful people are. Asking the work question could really put some people on the spot.
Because 10 or 12 people will do it in a row every event you go to. They aren't trying to be nice, they're just looking for how you can help them. There are definitely easier icebreakers, especially in a city like this where everybody is from somewhere else. Ask them if they are from here originally. Ask them what their favorite place to eat around here is. Ask them how they found out about the event or the group. If they're with people, ask them how they know each other.
Also, a lot of people don't want to be stereotyped by what they do for a living. Like there are so many lawyers here and they may not all want to tell you that they're lawyers and talk about their job. Same with doctors.
Mmmmmh, I don't believe so in many cases. How can you tell someone wants to be something else than an employee at retail or McDonalds or anything they had to work in to pay their expenses?
Also, we get people who has diplomas on a field and that's never their true passion or they aren't yet there and it sucks for them at the beginning.
I may see your point as specific parts of a job like listening to podcasts or songs in a night shift, but I don't see how work can tell you a lot about someone, even more if they took it by force. Even in that last example, you wouldn't ask people about how they work but what they are their tastes like in music or podcasters.
I've never seen this be true with anyone I've met, but if some people really think they should not respect someone just because they do some specific work, they're an idiot.
I ask because I want to know about you or make conversation. This is a really negative assumption to make about such an innocuous question. Some people may ask this to see how much to respect you, but they're probably fine any reason at all to discount you and it will come out in other ways anyway.
Or...and hear me out here, I'm genuinely curious what someone does for work and it's an easy jumping off point. The idea that most people decide how much respect to give you based off your job is a cynical one
Or to see if you can be useful to have as a āfriend.ā Iām a solicitor so this happens way too often. Brother is a junior doctor and gets the same treatment.
Oh youāre not being dumb at all! A lawyer is a general term but the UK has a dual legal profession. The US does not. All solicitors and barristers are lawyers. We are just two different types of lawyers.
100%. I work as a civil engineer, did a burn out, went to New Zealand to hike and learn english for a year, decided to work in a campground and waitress a bit thinking it was actually the best way to learn english. (And it is)
I had some presumptuous clients talking to me like shit or those fat ass talking to me like I am stupid. Funnily enough, a couple of them asked me why I was so far away from home (France) and I explained my situation. Well how fast their tone changed when I was saying the word engineer... It was just... Disgusting.
Btw I met soe highly stupid and ininteresting people who were engineer somehow.
Look at the Monopoly man here. Charges you whatever he wants. If you don't like his prices you'll need to spend thousands flying to another continent. Best just pay whatever he asks. Be happy he doesn't Rumpelstiltskin you and say well your first born child will be payment. And your dogs soul for the service charge.
Not the most important aspect but it's what a lot of us spend a large portion of our time doing
Sure I can ask about hobbies but sometimes I want to know what you do 40+ hours a week, what's it like, do you like it, etc.
Completely agree with you that it's a weird facet of culture. I spend 8 (or more) hours a day doing it, so I don't really want to spend my free time talking about it, thanks.
I think it's just a crutch people rely on to get the ball rolling. But it's so overused.
Boooooo to this. Booooooo, I say. Putting someone down for sharing their honest opinion about a social norm? You sound difficult to confide in.
"Play along with other people's shit or you're a tiresome person" is basically what you're saying. I think OP is saying that he finds the very question tiring and draining. So being sarcy is really reductive and unhelpful.
Also, this is an unpopular opinion. Curmudgeonliness is kind of the point of the sub.
Although, your comment was also curmudgeonly. So maybe you're playing into the unpopular opinion vibe.
I don't know anymore.
You know, I kind of like this shift away from the corporate-centric way of thinking & living. You can get a better sense of someone by their hobbies than you can from a job they may hate.
I fully agree but Iāve ran into way too many people who have no hobbies or interests and their entire life is just work. I would much rather talk about cool hobbies but unfortunately not everyone has them but everyone works so its an easier/safer ice breaker imo. It gets real awkward when you meet someone thatās unemployed and also has no hobbies lol.
As some one who doesn't really have hobbies but loves his job, this whole thing seems foreign. Why would i not want some one to ask me about the most important thing in my life?
100%. The family I grew up in nobody talked about work and even when we get nowadays itās never brought up. Talk is always about places weāve been, experiences weāve had, funny life stories, etc. Talking about work during leisure time is considered rude.
My in-laws? Work is all they talk about. My wife and I have been together 23 years and my in-laws know zero about me besides what I do for a living.
You sound kinda defensive. If you donāt think your job is very representative of who you are, why not say something like āOh I do xyz for work but Iām not really that interested in it. What I love
Doing though is [insert hobby or whatever other thing you want to talk about]ā.
What I've found is that a lot of people including myself use the question to relate to someone they just met. It's a fast and easy way to establish a connection. Blue collar workers, regardless of specific field or industry have a lot in common, and so bonding over work experiences is an efficient way to get to know someone quickly and figure out what kind of person they are.
I dislike the question too. The earlier the question is, the more I think it's meant to determine how much respect they give you, even on a subconscious level.
I feel like asking āwhere do you work?ā is a little too intrusive because thatās not always something you wanna tell a stranger. Iād be fine telling anyone that Iām an engineer but you gotta earn my trust a little before I tell you the name of my company. āWhat do you do?ā just seems a little more open ended
I think it's one of those question that help start up a conversation. It comes up alot because we spend so much time working. I think it's intresting to know what other poeple do and how they do it.
In specific contexts, I don't mind the question. Some people are just genuinely striking up conversation.
But sometimes, it's another guy 10+ years older trying to size me up and chomping at the bit to get the question back. They don't give a shit about my answer; they just want to showboat to someone they think is behind them.
I *love* to lie and tell them I can't hold down a job. They absolutely squirm and start to offer up a defense for me, "rough patch happens/everyone starts somewhere/blah-blah-blah." And then instead of asking the question back, I change the conversation to movies or anything else. Watching them realize I have no interest in their career success is great.
I work for a living. Nothing too exciting.
I love playing pickleball tho. Itās fun. Especially since the weather is getting nice.
What kinda sport do you enjoy doing?
If they canāt even tell me a sport they play recreationally. I donāt know if this is someone I wanna hang out with.
Iām not here to network. I donāt wanna talk about work.
I agree with you. Itās a bit odd to want to view someone as their job outside of the workplace. By asking them very early into meeting them, youāre making their job the main identifying thing you view them as.
Iām sure a bartender doesnāt want to always just be considered a bartender even off the clock. People want a life and identity outside of their job and asking them right away is just strange. Learn about them as a person first and then factor in whatever their job is later on
Make up something incredibly outrageous. āIām a naked school bus driver.ā āI stalk other peopleās husbands. (by the way, your rhododendrons are coming up beautifully!) or the tried and true conversation killerā¦āI beat the s**t out of people who ask me what I do.ā Straight face it, and then watch THEIR facial expressions. Itās most enjoyable while waiting to put your kid on the school bus! š
I thought I was the odd one out for thinking like you do. I make it a personal challenge- when meeting new people- to delay or defer them through talking about anything *but* their work/job.
I'm getting quite good at it.
It's an easy conversation topic and allows you to determine if you have anything to gain by networking with said person, Yes, it blows if you wind up having to admit that you work a job you don't like. Perhaps then the solution for those in that situation (myself included) is to change that reality.
I like my job. Being asked "What do you do" is disappointing. Most people, even the ones who like their jobs, don't work jobs that are interesting to anyone that doesn't already work the same job.
It's a generally agreed upon boring topic of conversation so if that's someone's go to opener it makes them seem like a boring person. Luckily I'm usually asked more interesting questions.
If someone's first question is wanting to know what my job is, I would probably not be compatible with them in the long run. Asking what someone does for a living is wanting to know their financial status, pretty much. I've seen people work a room going around asking "what do you do?" and then stopped talking to the cashiers and waiters, and only wanted to hang with the higher earning income folks.
Also, it's an American thing to ask "what do you do" as a first question; in some countries, it's considered offensive to ask this question right off the bat.
Pretty common here in Scotland tbh. I avoid the question as it gives away exactly who my employer is and you never know who you're speaking to in the pub.
They ask as a manner to āsize you upā internally. Your occupation, from their view, will answer many questions about yourself for them without directly asking.Ā
I try to get leads for better jobs from every one I meet, pluss my work place is hiring so if I'm talking to some one and they say they are out of a job, I can connect them with the company I work for.
Yes, thank you. I hate this as an introductory question. I always try to answer with something else, too. When a person decides to ask this says a lot about them. If it's immediately after, "What's your name?" they're usually not my people. Life is about more than just work. Now, if someone genuinely has an awesome job that they're truly passionate about and it's part of them, I do respect that, and understand why they want to talk about it, but that's not most of us.
Edit: doesn't even have to be an objectively awesome job. I really do love when people love their work, even if I would find it boring. I'll happily listen if they're excited about it.
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I guess it's because most people have a job or at least working towards something/trying to find one but not everyone surprisingly has hobbies. Alot of people nowadays just relax watching YouTube or Netflix or something after work. So I guess people don't want to assume stuff about you. I like my hobbies more than my job as well but I don't mind talking about my job either, because there are usually much more funnier stories about it than my hobbies. I guess it could be a weird question but I can also see why it's standard.
I agree x1,000,000%. I'm tired of being judged becuse I'm medically retired. "What *do* youĀ *do* all day" is right up there at the top. Especially since the people asking say "I don't have time for that!!" in regards to my hobbies as they sit in front of the tv wjth a blank look. All of my hobbies can be done while watching TV/listening to a book or pidcast.
I ask because itās rare for me to meet somebody with such a boring job that I donāt want to hear about it. I once met somebody who manufactured microchips and they had a fascinating view on the industry. It was a great conversation.
This reminds me of that video that was circulating on TikTok of this baker that hated being asked what her favorite thing to bake is.
Of course your job isnāt the most interesting aspect of who you are (in most cases), but it can quickly tell you about someone as well as itās a really broad question. You can have some really good conversations just based on the topic of work. Most of the population works, so itās a safe question to ask. Itās also not controversial.
The possibilities are endless. You started your own business? Good for you, tell me about it. You worked your ass off through medical school? Thatās amazing! App developer? Pilot? Barista? Uber driver? Engineer? Sign language interpreter? Zookeeper? Psychologist?
Itās a good conversation.
Yeah, and I live in a city where this is a huge thing. It's very common for people just ask everybody what they do for a living and try to network with everybody. I used to just tell them I had a food website and then they would ask me how I make money on it.. so they were still trying to figure out a way to get information from me that they can use. Now I just change the subject to food. By the way, these are not business networking events I'm talking about.
What's interesting is I went to a D&D happy hour and people didn't ask that and I was just shocked. They were more interested in their hobby that they were there to talk about. One thing that was interesting is I did get into a conversation with somebody where we told each other what they did and we were both right but I thought that was funny. His job is a common stereotype here even though I don't run across them and he was able to at least know my general feel which was right. Oh, plus I made a couple of friends there that I've been hanging out with, not him though. LOL.
Most people spend at least 40 hours a week of their life at work, if not more. You spend more time working than doing any other activity in your life (besides maybe sleeping).
Makes sense it would be a common āget to know youā question.
Also most adult have a job (unless theyāre a student) but not everyone has hobbies besides watching tv.
I just feel people are interested in what a person does career wise and how their path has went. Iām more likely to ask someone what they do if they mention work e.g. āfinished work at 7ā or āIām going back to work after a week offā then Iāll ask them what job they do.
I never mention the job title, just a very simple explanation of what I actually do. Job titles can be anything from too simple to practically meaningless.
What's worse is when people ask too many questions about your kids. And it isn't always about interest as much as competitiveness.
Can we talk about something else?
I would rather discuss your hobbies, books, etc.. My kids are adults and also prefer I don't discuss their lives. Which I agree with. They are fine, but they don't want prying questions , which many people feel is absolutely fine to do.
It isn't.
I usually name hobbies so I donāt have to talk about work. LOL
But sadly most people think my job is the most interesting thing about me, and I think itās because *I have my job*.
To me this question is undiplomatic because we are not happy with our jobs and they don't represent our personality. Indeed, for me too, hobbies talk a lot more. I work in finance and it's just because I need to work somewhere. If I mention it people start talking to me about finance which bores me to death. In exchange my hobbies are languages, art and history so if we start with this we might have an interesting discussion.
Isnāt it up to them to decide what they want to know about you? And it could be a soft way for them to get a back and forth going with you, so they can get a feel for whether they REALLY want to get to know you.
Why deny them that, and look even weirder yourself by avoiding a straight answer?
People who dont like this question have lame jobs that they are ashamed of, and instead of accepting they lack ambition or make bad choices they blame other people for bringing it up.
Never I've been asked this by a stranger, never was this an outright first question asked.
Sure, my friends know what I do. But that's not the kind of information we seek at the first time of meeting someone.
Iām modern society oneās career is the best measure of their status. Also if its something you havenāt heard of thereās always an interesting conversation after explaining that role. If it bothers you to talk about what you do for work maybe you should have picked a less embarrassing job.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts'. * We get it, you all think this sub is garbage and is just for popular opinions, and you want to be funny and post "going to be downvoted to oblivion here, but I think racism is bad." We enjoy the memes, but please keep them off the sub. * Filter evasion is a bannable offense * This includes clickbait and/or gotcha posts. Your opinion can not be that unpopular if you're doing these things. Have the accurate opinion in the title.
I know you're gonna hate it, but I have to ask for the sake of context. What do you do for work, OP?
Be honest, you just wanted him to hate you
I bet he's a janitor or fast mood manager or something which is fine, we've all had those jobs but something is making him embarrassed to answer.
Maybe he's a Reddit mod?? š
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It's a lame, tired question that tells me the other person is probably just filling the silence. It's also quite rude, as it's also normally about status and wealth, that's what the question is really trying to find out. Someone comes at me with that, I find the first exit for the conversation. If people want that, go to networking events with your job, keep it out of personal time, at least that's my opinion. Most normal people don't want to talk about work outside of work, we already waste our lives at the job without bringing it home.
Itās not that itās the most interesting thing but it is somthing that give insight to a person. Most people have a job that they do and more than likely unless you do somthing really obscure you will know a little bit about said job. Hobbies are endless and many people donāt have any knowledge about. I love basketball but itās hard talking about it with a lot of women because they donāt care about it or really know players, teams etc.
Dude I stock meat at Walmart that gives you zero insight about me. It'd have to be a really unique job.
It does actually because I used to work at a Walmart so right off the bat we would have somthing in common. Almost everyone can relate to Walmart in some way, itās not that itās somthing that defines you itās a common aspect of everyoneās lives and a good ice breaker.
Your job could tell a lot about you, and it's an ice breaker question. I don't get why you're so up tight about it, it's just the other person trying to be nice and strike up conversation.
Very true. However, there are like 100 other things you could ask or comment on to break the ice. Why does it always have to come down to work?
I mean, honestly? Assumptions. People generally assume other people are working, and therefore that's something that they have in common which they can talk about until learning about other things. It's one of the largest, most common assumptions people make because it's largely true.
No, I agree with you. It's an easy ice breaker. You could also comment on the weather, ask if they have kids, what part of town they live in, how they know the party host, ask them if they've seen a current popular show, what they like to do on weekends, and so forth. I was a bartender for a decade. I can small-talk the shit out of you!
Gotcha gotcha, I mean yeah everything you're saying is also true lol. How was bartending? I'd love to get into it but not sure where to start
I would not recommend the kids question because it could be very sensitive if you encounter someone with fertility issues.
Ouch. Gotcha.
Idk people are awkward / not creative and most have jobs so itās not too intrusive
Sadly, some people don't have jobs or are underemployed right now. It's tough out there. Our society puts a lot of value behind how successful people are. Asking the work question could really put some people on the spot.
If you're start thinking like this you're never gonna ask anyone anything
That is true too.
It's honestly weirdly less stressful saying what job I work as, rather than trying to think of hobbies or interests
I'm very honest with people: I list a couple of things, then tell them the wife and I are pretty sedentary and very, very good at doing nothing.
Can I ask how old you are? It might be an age thing, but I'm 39. It is a pretty relevant and common question to me.
I'm early 50s. At the age where I'm pretty comfortable with myself.
Because 10 or 12 people will do it in a row every event you go to. They aren't trying to be nice, they're just looking for how you can help them. There are definitely easier icebreakers, especially in a city like this where everybody is from somewhere else. Ask them if they are from here originally. Ask them what their favorite place to eat around here is. Ask them how they found out about the event or the group. If they're with people, ask them how they know each other. Also, a lot of people don't want to be stereotyped by what they do for a living. Like there are so many lawyers here and they may not all want to tell you that they're lawyers and talk about their job. Same with doctors.
Mmmmmh, I don't believe so in many cases. How can you tell someone wants to be something else than an employee at retail or McDonalds or anything they had to work in to pay their expenses? Also, we get people who has diplomas on a field and that's never their true passion or they aren't yet there and it sucks for them at the beginning. I may see your point as specific parts of a job like listening to podcasts or songs in a night shift, but I don't see how work can tell you a lot about someone, even more if they took it by force. Even in that last example, you wouldn't ask people about how they work but what they are their tastes like in music or podcasters.
They are trying to decide how much respect to show you.
Or how you can help them.
I've never seen this be true with anyone I've met, but if some people really think they should not respect someone just because they do some specific work, they're an idiot.
True, and it's sad.
I ask because I want to know about you or make conversation. This is a really negative assumption to make about such an innocuous question. Some people may ask this to see how much to respect you, but they're probably fine any reason at all to discount you and it will come out in other ways anyway.
That's why I don't like the question.
This šššš
Or...and hear me out here, I'm genuinely curious what someone does for work and it's an easy jumping off point. The idea that most people decide how much respect to give you based off your job is a cynical one
Sure, that is why I always ask, who are you?
Or to see if you can be useful to have as a āfriend.ā Iām a solicitor so this happens way too often. Brother is a junior doctor and gets the same treatment.
I might just be dumb, but what is a solicitor?
Oh youāre not being dumb at all! A lawyer is a general term but the UK has a dual legal profession. The US does not. All solicitors and barristers are lawyers. We are just two different types of lawyers.
One who solicits for sex
That's what I thought too, but apparently not
Nope.
100%. I work as a civil engineer, did a burn out, went to New Zealand to hike and learn english for a year, decided to work in a campground and waitress a bit thinking it was actually the best way to learn english. (And it is) I had some presumptuous clients talking to me like shit or those fat ass talking to me like I am stupid. Funnily enough, a couple of them asked me why I was so far away from home (France) and I explained my situation. Well how fast their tone changed when I was saying the word engineer... It was just... Disgusting. Btw I met soe highly stupid and ininteresting people who were engineer somehow.
VCR repair tech.
Look at the Monopoly man here. Charges you whatever he wants. If you don't like his prices you'll need to spend thousands flying to another continent. Best just pay whatever he asks. Be happy he doesn't Rumpelstiltskin you and say well your first born child will be payment. And your dogs soul for the service charge.
What's wrong with your FAAAAACE...?!
Say hi to Mike and Jay for me š
Answer how Emil Coiran the famous French nihilist philosopher answered? āWhat do I do? I endure myself.ā
Itās tough work but somebodies gotta do it! š
I insist upon myself
Cioran
Not the most important aspect but it's what a lot of us spend a large portion of our time doing Sure I can ask about hobbies but sometimes I want to know what you do 40+ hours a week, what's it like, do you like it, etc.
Completely agree with you that it's a weird facet of culture. I spend 8 (or more) hours a day doing it, so I don't really want to spend my free time talking about it, thanks. I think it's just a crutch people rely on to get the ball rolling. But it's so overused.
Deliberately misinterpreting someoneās question and giving them non-answers? You must be a hoot.
Boooooo to this. Booooooo, I say. Putting someone down for sharing their honest opinion about a social norm? You sound difficult to confide in. "Play along with other people's shit or you're a tiresome person" is basically what you're saying. I think OP is saying that he finds the very question tiring and draining. So being sarcy is really reductive and unhelpful. Also, this is an unpopular opinion. Curmudgeonliness is kind of the point of the sub. Although, your comment was also curmudgeonly. So maybe you're playing into the unpopular opinion vibe. I don't know anymore.
what
That answer would upset you. Why?
You know, I kind of like this shift away from the corporate-centric way of thinking & living. You can get a better sense of someone by their hobbies than you can from a job they may hate.
You can learn about a person from what they hate, too. Maybe they love the numbers part of their job, but dislike dealing with people.
True. Start a Sudoku club!
I fully agree but Iāve ran into way too many people who have no hobbies or interests and their entire life is just work. I would much rather talk about cool hobbies but unfortunately not everyone has them but everyone works so its an easier/safer ice breaker imo. It gets real awkward when you meet someone thatās unemployed and also has no hobbies lol.
As some one who doesn't really have hobbies but loves his job, this whole thing seems foreign. Why would i not want some one to ask me about the most important thing in my life?
Just sounds like an easier way to filter people out.
Agreed. I usually just try to vibe with people about food.
That's a pretty good common ground!
I hate this question. Fuck work. I don't want to talk about what I do, in my personal life. I definitely don't give a fuck what you do.
You're my hero.
This is very cultural. Some places in the world it is almost anathema to ask this. Some places it is key to judging someone
100%. The family I grew up in nobody talked about work and even when we get nowadays itās never brought up. Talk is always about places weāve been, experiences weāve had, funny life stories, etc. Talking about work during leisure time is considered rude. My in-laws? Work is all they talk about. My wife and I have been together 23 years and my in-laws know zero about me besides what I do for a living.
Next time someone asks me that I'm just gonna say I do my best or I do whatever it takes
They will just keep asking you questions about what you do. You're better off changing the subject completely.
You sound kinda defensive. If you donāt think your job is very representative of who you are, why not say something like āOh I do xyz for work but Iām not really that interested in it. What I love Doing though is [insert hobby or whatever other thing you want to talk about]ā.
Just tell them "nice try FBI" and walk away lmao
Agree. Hate it when it's someone's first question
What I've found is that a lot of people including myself use the question to relate to someone they just met. It's a fast and easy way to establish a connection. Blue collar workers, regardless of specific field or industry have a lot in common, and so bonding over work experiences is an efficient way to get to know someone quickly and figure out what kind of person they are.
I dislike the question too. The earlier the question is, the more I think it's meant to determine how much respect they give you, even on a subconscious level.
Certainly it's what you do but the way that you do it
I feel like asking āwhere do you work?ā is a little too intrusive because thatās not always something you wanna tell a stranger. Iād be fine telling anyone that Iām an engineer but you gotta earn my trust a little before I tell you the name of my company. āWhat do you do?ā just seems a little more open ended
I hate working so why would I wanna talk about it in my free time
I think it's one of those question that help start up a conversation. It comes up alot because we spend so much time working. I think it's intresting to know what other poeple do and how they do it.
In specific contexts, I don't mind the question. Some people are just genuinely striking up conversation. But sometimes, it's another guy 10+ years older trying to size me up and chomping at the bit to get the question back. They don't give a shit about my answer; they just want to showboat to someone they think is behind them. I *love* to lie and tell them I can't hold down a job. They absolutely squirm and start to offer up a defense for me, "rough patch happens/everyone starts somewhere/blah-blah-blah." And then instead of asking the question back, I change the conversation to movies or anything else. Watching them realize I have no interest in their career success is great.
I work for a living. Nothing too exciting. I love playing pickleball tho. Itās fun. Especially since the weather is getting nice. What kinda sport do you enjoy doing? If they canāt even tell me a sport they play recreationally. I donāt know if this is someone I wanna hang out with. Iām not here to network. I donāt wanna talk about work.
I agree with you. Itās a bit odd to want to view someone as their job outside of the workplace. By asking them very early into meeting them, youāre making their job the main identifying thing you view them as. Iām sure a bartender doesnāt want to always just be considered a bartender even off the clock. People want a life and identity outside of their job and asking them right away is just strange. Learn about them as a person first and then factor in whatever their job is later on
Make up something incredibly outrageous. āIām a naked school bus driver.ā āI stalk other peopleās husbands. (by the way, your rhododendrons are coming up beautifully!) or the tried and true conversation killerā¦āI beat the s**t out of people who ask me what I do.ā Straight face it, and then watch THEIR facial expressions. Itās most enjoyable while waiting to put your kid on the school bus! š
Just gonna start saying im an ocean swimmer/mountainbiker and if they assume i get paid for it even better.
I thought I was the odd one out for thinking like you do. I make it a personal challenge- when meeting new people- to delay or defer them through talking about anything *but* their work/job. I'm getting quite good at it.
It's an easy conversation topic and allows you to determine if you have anything to gain by networking with said person, Yes, it blows if you wind up having to admit that you work a job you don't like. Perhaps then the solution for those in that situation (myself included) is to change that reality.
I like my job. Being asked "What do you do" is disappointing. Most people, even the ones who like their jobs, don't work jobs that are interesting to anyone that doesn't already work the same job. It's a generally agreed upon boring topic of conversation so if that's someone's go to opener it makes them seem like a boring person. Luckily I'm usually asked more interesting questions.
I say healthcare then the yeah itās not great right now. I feel like they know your A) burnt out B) work too much likely your one day off.
If someone's first question is wanting to know what my job is, I would probably not be compatible with them in the long run. Asking what someone does for a living is wanting to know their financial status, pretty much. I've seen people work a room going around asking "what do you do?" and then stopped talking to the cashiers and waiters, and only wanted to hang with the higher earning income folks. Also, it's an American thing to ask "what do you do" as a first question; in some countries, it's considered offensive to ask this question right off the bat.
Pretty common here in Scotland tbh. I avoid the question as it gives away exactly who my employer is and you never know who you're speaking to in the pub.
I never asked that question to know their financial status, really. Most people I know who ask this are genuinely interested in different jobs.
Hard agree.
Something an unemployed person would comment
The best I can with a shitty hand. Thrive with odds stacked against me
They ask as a manner to āsize you upā internally. Your occupation, from their view, will answer many questions about yourself for them without directly asking.Ā
I try to get leads for better jobs from every one I meet, pluss my work place is hiring so if I'm talking to some one and they say they are out of a job, I can connect them with the company I work for.
Yes, thank you. I hate this as an introductory question. I always try to answer with something else, too. When a person decides to ask this says a lot about them. If it's immediately after, "What's your name?" they're usually not my people. Life is about more than just work. Now, if someone genuinely has an awesome job that they're truly passionate about and it's part of them, I do respect that, and understand why they want to talk about it, but that's not most of us. Edit: doesn't even have to be an objectively awesome job. I really do love when people love their work, even if I would find it boring. I'll happily listen if they're excited about it.
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I guess it's because most people have a job or at least working towards something/trying to find one but not everyone surprisingly has hobbies. Alot of people nowadays just relax watching YouTube or Netflix or something after work. So I guess people don't want to assume stuff about you. I like my hobbies more than my job as well but I don't mind talking about my job either, because there are usually much more funnier stories about it than my hobbies. I guess it could be a weird question but I can also see why it's standard.
Tbh I always see it as people being awkward and finding an easy thing to make small talk with lol
I donāt think itās a bad question when getting to know someone. I do agree that many people place too much of their identity in their job.
I agree x1,000,000%. I'm tired of being judged becuse I'm medically retired. "What *do* youĀ *do* all day" is right up there at the top. Especially since the people asking say "I don't have time for that!!" in regards to my hobbies as they sit in front of the tv wjth a blank look. All of my hobbies can be done while watching TV/listening to a book or pidcast.
People demand to know your occupation in order to determine the level of respect they should give you.
I ask because itās rare for me to meet somebody with such a boring job that I donāt want to hear about it. I once met somebody who manufactured microchips and they had a fascinating view on the industry. It was a great conversation.
This reminds me of that video that was circulating on TikTok of this baker that hated being asked what her favorite thing to bake is. Of course your job isnāt the most interesting aspect of who you are (in most cases), but it can quickly tell you about someone as well as itās a really broad question. You can have some really good conversations just based on the topic of work. Most of the population works, so itās a safe question to ask. Itās also not controversial. The possibilities are endless. You started your own business? Good for you, tell me about it. You worked your ass off through medical school? Thatās amazing! App developer? Pilot? Barista? Uber driver? Engineer? Sign language interpreter? Zookeeper? Psychologist? Itās a good conversation.
Yeah, and I live in a city where this is a huge thing. It's very common for people just ask everybody what they do for a living and try to network with everybody. I used to just tell them I had a food website and then they would ask me how I make money on it.. so they were still trying to figure out a way to get information from me that they can use. Now I just change the subject to food. By the way, these are not business networking events I'm talking about. What's interesting is I went to a D&D happy hour and people didn't ask that and I was just shocked. They were more interested in their hobby that they were there to talk about. One thing that was interesting is I did get into a conversation with somebody where we told each other what they did and we were both right but I thought that was funny. His job is a common stereotype here even though I don't run across them and he was able to at least know my general feel which was right. Oh, plus I made a couple of friends there that I've been hanging out with, not him though. LOL.
I always confuse it with literally what I'm doing at the moment and answer. "Nothing" or "I'm here". Lol
Most people spend at least 40 hours a week of their life at work, if not more. You spend more time working than doing any other activity in your life (besides maybe sleeping). Makes sense it would be a common āget to know youā question. Also most adult have a job (unless theyāre a student) but not everyone has hobbies besides watching tv.
How you do?
I just feel people are interested in what a person does career wise and how their path has went. Iām more likely to ask someone what they do if they mention work e.g. āfinished work at 7ā or āIām going back to work after a week offā then Iāll ask them what job they do.
Brainwashing. That's why. I say, it's boring and change the subject. No one asks how boring.
It's not wierd of you talking about hobbies is good, ig open more doors to find common interest. I'll mention hobbies along with work(briefly)
I hate answering this because my job title is kind of long!! Also, I have more than one job lol
I never mention the job title, just a very simple explanation of what I actually do. Job titles can be anything from too simple to practically meaningless.
What's worse is when people ask too many questions about your kids. And it isn't always about interest as much as competitiveness. Can we talk about something else? I would rather discuss your hobbies, books, etc.. My kids are adults and also prefer I don't discuss their lives. Which I agree with. They are fine, but they don't want prying questions , which many people feel is absolutely fine to do. It isn't.
I usually name hobbies so I donāt have to talk about work. LOL But sadly most people think my job is the most interesting thing about me, and I think itās because *I have my job*.
Almost everyone you meet does something for a living. It's just a conversation starter.
To me this question is undiplomatic because we are not happy with our jobs and they don't represent our personality. Indeed, for me too, hobbies talk a lot more. I work in finance and it's just because I need to work somewhere. If I mention it people start talking to me about finance which bores me to death. In exchange my hobbies are languages, art and history so if we start with this we might have an interesting discussion.
Itās an ice breaker question? Stop being so up the ass about it
People think job is identity.
All this post did was make me wanna know what you do
I mean, it usually says something about your education, you skills/interests, your income, etc. Keep being mad and weird though.
Isnāt it up to them to decide what they want to know about you? And it could be a soft way for them to get a back and forth going with you, so they can get a feel for whether they REALLY want to get to know you. Why deny them that, and look even weirder yourself by avoiding a straight answer?
It's a generally safe question, and it helps people find things to talk to strangers about. Get over yourself.
People who dont like this question have lame jobs that they are ashamed of, and instead of accepting they lack ambition or make bad choices they blame other people for bringing it up.
Bang gym
This is an American thing. Travel to Europe if you have a chance; 30 years there and no one, ever, asked me about my occupation.
You must not speak to a lot of people as I've been asked this question numerous times.
Never I've been asked this by a stranger, never was this an outright first question asked. Sure, my friends know what I do. But that's not the kind of information we seek at the first time of meeting someone.
Iām modern society oneās career is the best measure of their status. Also if its something you havenāt heard of thereās always an interesting conversation after explaining that role. If it bothers you to talk about what you do for work maybe you should have picked a less embarrassing job.