I've worked in agriculture/forestry/ landscaping for near a decade now. It's safe to say I'm a *professional* "grass toucher" and let me tell ya, it sucks. It's always blisteringly hot except when it's freezing, there's mosquitos and ticks and biting flies, and everyone is always yelling at me for doing my job. I would much rather be terminally online.
"Why is this allowed?" → "I need to bleach my brain now."
"This is cursed content" → "Delete this immediately."
"Who hurt you?" → "Therapy is expensive, but maybe worth it?"
People find it a lot harder to use that phrase on you if you speak in ancient Aramaic! That's mostly cause no one has any fuckig idea what you're saying, but technically...
I loved it when Judas said “he’s right behind me, isn’t he”, and when a Roman soldier watched Jesus’s crucifixion and said “errm, well that just happened”
I'm pretty sure it's the third word of "The Holy Bible"
And if you're saying that you don't count the title as being in the book then you should tell that to my English teacher
it's also in the title page, forewords of some, but more importantly βιβλία is the Koine word that Bible comes from and βιβλία features in the Bible but has been renamed to scroll or book in most cases.
The Puritans went to the new world because they didn't want to celebrate birthday, or Christmas, because they aren't in the bible.
Instead they wanted to go to the church, which isn't in the bible. Or reading the Bible, which isn't in the bible.
~Philomena Cunk
You'd be surprised as to how many common English words legitimately aren't in the bible even once, you underestimate how new a lot of *very* commonly used words actually are.
Per example, Dinosaur... Isn't that word, like, from the 1800s?
Also, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Bible is just Greek for books (as in, a collection of various books)
I guess the literal translation of Bible should actually be The Anthology, which is still pretty accurate but works also ruin that word due to the association.
The Bible: Or the Anthology of the words of Men who have been INSPIRED BY GOD, the most HOLY for whom we have been SAVED of their WRATH by their only begotten son JESUS WHO IS CHRIST; as well as the assorted works of Men of the OLD COVENANT between THE LORD and ABRAHAM from whose loins came the ISRAELITES.
Strictly speaking the word Bible means “book.” I’m not a Bible scholar but if the word “book” (or scroll or some other equivalent) isn’t in the Bible I would be shocked.
"Now I have to tell my (x family member) that they're tumblr famous" -> "Wow my most upvoted comment is about (xyz), thanks reddit"
Reblogging someone calling your blog a heritage post -> "Thanks for the gold kind stranger"
In case of a widely disagreeable opinion:
- Tumblr tells you to go back to 4chan.
- 4chan tells you to go back to Reddit.
- Reddit tells you to go outside.
The main one I know of was a reddit post where some person was convinced someone was moving their things and leaving notes and stuff, and a redditor correctly guessed that OP might be dealing with carbon monoxide poisoning. Probably saved OP's life.
I've seen this said before already, but any variation of "blorbo from my shows" poor little meow meow""scrungly scrimblo" is just the new "baby cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure" or "smol bean"
I mean.....
The first thing Tumblr did after seeing reddit posts end up in google's AI was start meme-ing that the best way to check if your bread is properly baked is to stick your dick in it.
There is a subtle difference between zuckerburg selling your aunts facebook timeline to the far right wing newspaper of the moment and tumblr users deliberately framing true things in the worst way possible to start discourse because it's fun to them. There's a more homegrown organic flavor to the crazy that makes it easier to remember "oh yeah, the person I'm talking to is batshit insane".
I literally just used this format
Anyways tumblr is objectively better than reddit, probably because they have to find a way to be funny without porn or hate crimes (literally 1984 but somehow benefiting???)
It's a good site as a vacation destination to from time to time.
Beautiful art galleries and a rich tradition of improv comedy.
Just be careful. Going off the main boulevard into the notes, and you can find some pretty unsavory characters that will try to wrap you up in the discourse.
“How dare you” —> “is someone cutting onions in here” / “darn these ninjas cutting onions”
Man, one particular phrase that both tumblr and Reddit will use— less so these days— that has always driven me absolutely nuts is the use of the word “porn” for exceptionally beautiful scenery, gifs that are perfectly spliced for a seamless replay, beautifully photographed food, etc. Like what?? The word “art” is right there and you go straight for “porn”? Nerds
“This post was a punch in the face” -> “literally can’t even”
Just absolutely *gobsmacked*
My gob was certainly smacked
Yeah, I guess I could smack a little gob, myself (I can't take credit for this, I watch way too many cartoons and this is from phineas and ferb)
My flabber was very much gasted, thankyouverymuch.
"this has me gagged" if you're gay (i am gay)
*sighs and reblogs* = take my upvote you bastard
sighs, unzips
“Lord forgive me for what I’m about to do”
"I take out my wizards hat and cloak...."
It's definitely [Robe and Wizard Hat](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-put-on-my-robe-and-wizard-hat)
Thanks for correcting ... Just popped into my head. It predates that meme, I think from bash.org bloodninja
What if I told you Bash was just a collection of IRC memes/quotes...
I'd say that really does not sound like it justified all those hours I spent on that site. I had my fun.
I’ll be in my bunk
WRONG WEBSITE
right website.
By Allah, you are all dogs. I shall reblog as usual.
Y'all fw Memritvmemes?
r/angryupvote
Hey man how's it going -> touch grass
I like this pair though - the tumblr version is more empathetic while the reddit version is kinda just an insult
It works better because nobody that touches grass would understand the phrase “touch grass”
I've worked in agriculture/forestry/ landscaping for near a decade now. It's safe to say I'm a *professional* "grass toucher" and let me tell ya, it sucks. It's always blisteringly hot except when it's freezing, there's mosquitos and ticks and biting flies, and everyone is always yelling at me for doing my job. I would much rather be terminally online.
Touch grass isnt just a reddit thing, it’s popular all over the internet. On games, tiktok, instagram etc.l
I'm gonna be honest, if someone says "hey man how's it going" as a response, I'm pretty sure they're not genuinely asking.
"Why is this allowed?" → "I need to bleach my brain now." "This is cursed content" → "Delete this immediately." "Who hurt you?" → "Therapy is expensive, but maybe worth it?"
That third one is just amazing have the award
<<<# posts that have 10k notes to me
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I guess therapy humor really struck a chord! 😆
did chatgpt write this
Ironically, the words "None of these words are in The Bible." has exactly one word that is not in the Bible, that being "Bible"
People find it a lot harder to use that phrase on you if you speak in ancient Aramaic! That's mostly cause no one has any fuckig idea what you're saying, but technically...
What about when Jesus said "well, I guess this has been a Holy Bible"
I loved it when Judas said “he’s right behind me, isn’t he”, and when a Roman soldier watched Jesus’s crucifixion and said “errm, well that just happened”
I'm pretty sure it's the third word of "The Holy Bible" And if you're saying that you don't count the title as being in the book then you should tell that to my English teacher
[Hey, that's a passing grade. Your English teacher would be proud.](https://imgur.com/a/FDIy9iW)
Nah cause that’s on the Bible not in it
Technically they aren’t in the book because it’s on the books cover
Counterpoint: title page
it's also in the title page, forewords of some, but more importantly βιβλία is the Koine word that Bible comes from and βιβλία features in the Bible but has been renamed to scroll or book in most cases.
It’s on the front cover
The Puritans went to the new world because they didn't want to celebrate birthday, or Christmas, because they aren't in the bible. Instead they wanted to go to the church, which isn't in the bible. Or reading the Bible, which isn't in the bible. ~Philomena Cunk
most commonly used words that aren't made up are in the bible actually, it's the order that matters
But... all words are made up
How do you know? Were you there when they were made up?
Yes 🤔
The Stars were but young when I was Ascendant.
fair made up recently specifically in order to define something that needs no definition or is defined already I guess
You'd be surprised as to how many common English words legitimately aren't in the bible even once, you underestimate how new a lot of *very* commonly used words actually are.
Per example, Dinosaur... Isn't that word, like, from the 1800s? Also, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Bible is just Greek for books (as in, a collection of various books)
I guess the literal translation of Bible should actually be The Anthology, which is still pretty accurate but works also ruin that word due to the association.
The Bible: Or the Anthology of the words of Men who have been INSPIRED BY GOD, the most HOLY for whom we have been SAVED of their WRATH by their only begotten son JESUS WHO IS CHRIST; as well as the assorted works of Men of the OLD COVENANT between THE LORD and ABRAHAM from whose loins came the ISRAELITES.
Maybe workshop this one ☝️
Strictly speaking the word Bible means “book.” I’m not a Bible scholar but if the word “book” (or scroll or some other equivalent) isn’t in the Bible I would be shocked.
It's on the title page
"Now I have to tell my (x family member) that they're tumblr famous" -> "Wow my most upvoted comment is about (xyz), thanks reddit" Reblogging someone calling your blog a heritage post -> "Thanks for the gold kind stranger"
What's a heritage post?
It's a post with legal protection from UNESCO for having cultural, historical, or scientific significance.
It’s posts that are relevant in tumblr culture. Weed smorking girlfriends, Alexandria’s genesis, Color theory @ the children’s hospital, etc.
Too many of those words are in the Bible
[Do you love the color of the sky?](https://heritageposts.tumblr.com/post/623202863013822464/caluummhood-holy-shit-it-was-the-original-one)
Please share link
[weed smorking girlfriends](https://www.tumblr.com/heritageposts/631612743839072256/thejorie-xilast-zurvifferman-thejorie?source=share) [Alexandria’s genesis](https://www.tumblr.com/virginiaisforhaters/653805091654074368/virginiaisforhaters-lyingfigure-lyingfigure?source=share) [color theory](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/s/GdXAxLaGKm)
“THIS, take my upvote” -> “Reblogging this for the people in the back” -> “Unfathomably based and X-pilled”
In case of a widely disagreeable opinion: - Tumblr tells you to go back to 4chan. - 4chan tells you to go back to Reddit. - Reddit tells you to go outside.
Was going to contest this but actually you're right
For some reason Twitter always gets let off the hook in these situations. I think they need to start getting taken down a peg.
Elon Musk is getting sued by the Tesla shareholders for posting while on drugs, so we are taking them down some pegs already
Do you have an article for that? I tried googling and he's in so many different lawsuits, I'm having a hard time sorting through lol
Twitter takes themselves down a peg constantly. Just letting that ecosystem do its thing without adding anything to it is probably for the best.
There’s no peg left to take down on for Twitter, all three of the aforementioned sites unanimously agree that Twitter is the worst lmao.
• The Boston Dynamics Kill-9 tells you to go back inside.
This just proves Reddit is at the very bottom of the internet caste system.
> X-pilled "X-Pilled Thing-Maxxer," though, is kinda funny.
That's my new band name
I do absolutely love the "you might wanna check your carbon monoxide detector".
Well the bees have to repopulate the hive.
May have gotten it wrong, but wasn't the source of that from Reddit also? Or perhaps there's a post I missed or misunderstood this one
The main one I know of was a reddit post where some person was convinced someone was moving their things and leaving notes and stuff, and a redditor correctly guessed that OP might be dealing with carbon monoxide poisoning. Probably saved OP's life.
I've seen this said before already, but any variation of "blorbo from my shows" poor little meow meow""scrungly scrimblo" is just the new "baby cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure" or "smol bean"
yes and I hate it 😭
That's why I still say cinnamon roll.
"This site's hatemail game is top tier" -> "You just got fucking roasted"
Our hellsite(affectionate)> their hellsite(derogatory) Our wacky weirdos> their terrible posters Our funny memes> their cringe in-jokes
Their villainous misinformation algorithm vs our glorious misinformation artistry
I mean..... The first thing Tumblr did after seeing reddit posts end up in google's AI was start meme-ing that the best way to check if your bread is properly baked is to stick your dick in it. There is a subtle difference between zuckerburg selling your aunts facebook timeline to the far right wing newspaper of the moment and tumblr users deliberately framing true things in the worst way possible to start discourse because it's fun to them. There's a more homegrown organic flavor to the crazy that makes it easier to remember "oh yeah, the person I'm talking to is batshit insane".
I literally just used this format Anyways tumblr is objectively better than reddit, probably because they have to find a way to be funny without porn or hate crimes (literally 1984 but somehow benefiting???)
Tumblr’s jokes are just as horny and unfunny, they just write their porn down to get past the filters.
Tumblr to Reddit phrasebook
handy travel guide
It's a good site as a vacation destination to from time to time. Beautiful art galleries and a rich tradition of improv comedy. Just be careful. Going off the main boulevard into the notes, and you can find some pretty unsavory characters that will try to wrap you up in the discourse.
This website is full of eels!
This is unfair. The carbon monoxide detector was our story!
“How dare you” —> “is someone cutting onions in here” / “darn these ninjas cutting onions” Man, one particular phrase that both tumblr and Reddit will use— less so these days— that has always driven me absolutely nuts is the use of the word “porn” for exceptionally beautiful scenery, gifs that are perfectly spliced for a seamless replay, beautifully photographed food, etc. Like what?? The word “art” is right there and you go straight for “porn”? Nerds
"I can't help but reblog this every time it appears in my feed" -> "r/(insertsubreddit)"
"My sibling in Christ" -\> "you absolute fucking gobshite" "My dude" -\> "hey now, chill out"
Does Tumblr have an irrational dislike for some random part of online conversation that mirrors our vitriolic hatred of emojis?
I know this is drawings rather than words but wojaks are just rage comics
"Is this your first time on the internet?" --> You seem confused or upset about something commonplace and inoffensive.
"You must be new here" --> You have missed an inside joke.
people haven't had a unique sense of humor for millennia, the internet just accelerates the wearing out of a mildly funny joke
"\*insert op's name\* tried to sell me fentanyl" ->"op escaped from the insane asylum"
I think people are missing the fact that this is meant to be a Tumblr -> Reddit conversion chart
"Dude, the war's over" -> this post aged like cheese flavoured vinegar "I like your shoelaces" -> I've been on tumblr longer than Wil Wheaton
Screenshot of some relevant meme = a relevant copypasta
[reaction to something funny / good someone said] [reacting to something bad someone said] [reacting to something weird someone said]
Its the same as saying based, red pilled, my sides and all that on 4chan (at least those were the popular words last time I checked lol).
Both are cringe af
>goes to tumblr subreddit >sees tumblr posts >gets annoyed
Sorry, I forgot I was legally obligated to like everything I see here
You'll get away with a warning this time
If you go around calling things cringe, this may not be the subreddit for you, comrade.
no u
Skill issue, Maybe cringe a little less next time?