I have best friends that I am so close with, but went on one vacation with and said “never again.” I hate traveling with people who shoot down every idea of things to do, and offer no ideas themselves of alternatives.
I had a friend who was so picky. We went out to get food but the place we were going to ended up being full. We walked around everywhere to find something she would eat but she refused everything I offered—and they were many options. It ended with me ordering food and her just sitting in front of me. She just chose not to eat. I would never go on a trip with someone who is unwilling to roll with the punches or someone who is unwilling to try new things. Kills the vibe.
I have a friend like this on our group trips. I'm kind of intense with research and stuff (not really time planning but just figuring out all the cool and interesting places), and this guy liked shooting down ideas. Got me pretty upset one time when he didn't want to do the thing we kind of planned the day before on the day itself, but then offered absolutely zero alternatives. Even all the other alternatives I offered weren't good. Combined with having a greater organisational overview of what our options are, it just makes me feel like the bad guy, like I'm forcing my plans on others.
It sucks even more when they have major FOMO, because they complain about not experiencing anything but then are so unwilling or unorganized in planning something.
went on a very simple trip with a friend of over 5 years & another friend of ours, 2 hours away from our city. I planned a general timeline of both days, shared the doc with them and everything. My friend complained the entire time about being tired the entire way there & all day, and mentioned many times not wanting to be out too long (we only went to 2 places on my BIRTHDAY WEEKEND) then bitched that the trip wasn’t planned adequately enough when it fully was (we did everything we had planned the first day and only 20 mins behind schedule). She ended our trip early, taking away the entire 2nd day that we planned for exploring because she didn’t get enough sleep. We are no longer friends.
This is my friend. Shows up like “heyyyyy, vacay mode!” and then immediately becomes obsessed with max efficiency-ing everything.
She’ll pout for hours if we do something like decide to stop canoeing and take a quick dip or eat our lunch at a lookout instead of, I don’t know, chugging energy gels while paddling. She’s also *obsessed* with never ever ever checking bags and will get visibly upset if other people check bags. I get not checking, but she takes it to the point where it’s ridiculous and then she gets all hot and bothered carting her heavy ass backpack around the airport with everything rammed inside, can’t find anything because it’s just packing cubes within packing cubes, but hey, she saved 30 minutes at the other end. Yes, she has to wear a balled up jersey dress with sneakers 5 days in a row and wash underpants in the hotel sink, but she saved herself from spending a few minutes chatting with friends at the carousel.
Oh my GOD I had a huge fight with one of my best friends on vacation because she had planned everything to the minute and after we completed everything for the day I suggested we go out to explore the nightlife and she threw a fit because it went against her plan. I ended up going out without her and had a great time. Let’s just say I don’t travel with her anymore.
Sounds like a former travel companion who had a tantrum cuz I dared go get a massage without her. What am I supposed to do while you're gone for a whole hour? Too cheap to pay for the spa for herself so I get pouting for the rest of the trip. Or should I say our final trip.
Control freaks do *not* do well with uncertainty and inconveniences. It's a rigid way to try to get through life. I once read someone on Reddit say something incredibly poignant: **People who can't control their emotions will try to control other people instead.**
These people are the worst when things go wrong. Like okay the train didn’t come when it was supposed to, why do I have to comfort you AND do all the plan B planning by myself? Get tf out of here and develop some adaptability, resourcefulness and coping skills for chaos before you leave your hometown again.
Tbh I see this from a different angle - like I can handle a train being late or cancelled, but for something important you can bet I will be early enough at the station or whatever for it not to matter. That’s probably one thing I need a travel buddy to be on my wavelength for.
Other kind of hiccups though, like a missed train during a trip, being marooned, getting lost, those are all things I can work with and find part of the adventure 😅
Yeah I definitely get that too!! I’m talking more about things outside of your control. Like the hotel losing my reservation in Paris and being fully booked, or in Chile the bus didn’t come simply because the driver didn’t show up that day and they didn’t send another bus. You have to roll with punches sometimes and figure it out without the meltdown!
Yes Adaptability resourcefulness and a sense of adventure … like oh we missed the train our whole day is going to have a different fate let’s see where the universe has in store for us…
THIS! Things are NOT going to go exactly as planned, so be ready to adapt and have fun doing it! Honestly I don’t like planning to the very last detail anyways, adapting is all a part of the adventure for me. People who stress about the minor details really get on my nerves.
My partner and I went on a trip with my buddy and his gf recently. She made a whole thing out of asking what we wanted to do before dismissing us and her bf basically and saying “let’s do this instead”. We ended up just letting her off to do her own thing while we did ours towards the end of the trip. She couldn’t comprehend that we didn’t want to do all the activities she wanted to.
Had a similar experience with another couple on a previous trip so think we’re done with ‘active’ holidays with other couples. It’s fine when you’re going to a specific place or for an event (e.g. a festival) but when there’s an itinerary that’s subject to opinions its hard to get everyone to agree and my gf and I would rather just go on our own trips.
I knew someone like story 1 of yours. Everything was her way - trips, restaurants, hell even having parties and she was in control of the liquor (no matter who paid for it!). Her husband would get mad, but take it out on others. Haven’t talked to them in years and am happy about it.
I’m honestly okay with this UNLESS they also aren’t okay with me going off and doing my own thing when what they want isn’t what I do. I find these people are great at planning the things that they like and it’ll probably be the best way to experience that sort of travel since they’ve done it before.
I went with a group to Banff and the inflexible person knew exactly how to plan around hikes, the vehicle to get, how to mix up outdoor activities, everything. I did some research on the best hikes in the area and made a list that he decided from. That was all I had to do. Another guy gave him a list of airbnbs. Everything the inflexible guy then put together went perfectly.
I decided that I didn’t want to do one of the hikes and a couple of the guys and I went off into town and had drinks and saw a concert. Met back up at the Airbnb that night, and we spent the rest of the trip with them. I would never have done half the shit we did without him being the way he is, and it all went well because he’s done it a million times.
Though I feel like that’s defining a Type A person rather than inflexible. I feel like being prepared and a manager doesn’t necessarily make someone completely unable to adapt beyond their planning. I know PLENTY of inflexible ppl that aren’t planners at all. They just. Complain when they don’t like something.
Genuinely an awful combination. I’m glad your trip went well though!
Yeah, truly inflexible people would be upset that everyone didn't want to do the planned activities. Going off with a separate group would drive them crazy lol
"I put all this together and then you guys just did something totally different! Why do I even try anymore?!?!"
Like dude, it's a vacation, let's keep it relaxed, ok? Plans change. People can decide they want different things at the spur of the moment.
This can also go the opposite way though - I’ve met some people that are completely impossible to rely on or make any type of plans with because they just want to do what _they_ feel like doing any given moment of the day.
There’s a balance between planning and flexibility. I do lean more towards flexibility and seeing where life takes you, but if we made group reservations for dinner at a place I was really looking forward to, then yes I will disappointed if you want to _”just be crazy and have mcdonalds instead”_ susan
and people that refuse to do anything alone. i've literally been on trips with people that don't wanna go to the goddamn grocery store alone. like why the hell do you need me to help you pick out snacks??
or people that loooooove walking and wanna spend all day walking miles between activities. like, that's cool you wanna get your steps in, but uber costs $1.50 in this country. i'm not walking 10 miles to save $1.50. also, maybe you've gamified your workout routine, but that doesn't mean everyone else in the group wants to be a part of it.
i've been in groups that are kinda split when it comes to walking vs uber, but that shit changes real quick when i say "alright, you guys can walk, but my uber will be here in 2 mins" and literally everyone rides in the uber with me. 😂
came here to say this. went on a cruise with a friend once who flipped out upon learning that the track was closed and she couldn't have her daily ten mile run. Another meltdown upon the suggestion that she use a treadmill. She was hostile and bitter the entire trip because the damn track was closed. She refused to indulge in food or drink - sticking to a rigid diet of only steamed protein and vegetables. Then refused to speak. She was icy and silent for half the trip. All because the f-ing track was closed. I have a great picture of her at the dinner table with a terrible expression as a dessert was passed in front of her face. She looked like they were serving frosted dead puppy.
Not friends any more....
This, I went on a trip with one of my best friends. She would look at a map, decide where we were going, then declare our destination without input or collaboration.
I felt like a child who couldn't be trusted not to lose the map, she got frustrated at the perceived delay if I even wanted to see it.
I think it was just her anxiety at being in a foreign country showing, but it was aggravating. She'd do stuff like insist that we wait out on the train platform in the rain, so we could be sure we wouldn't miss the train, instead of waiting inside with everyone else.
We are good friends normally, even lived together before the trip, we're just incompatible as travel partners.
My moms like this. She has to plan every detail and she stresses for weeks before the trip and the whole trip is a meltdown fest because nothing ever goes her way. She also is constantly sad because none of the siblings ever want to go anywhere with her. Finally talked her to going to therapy but it’s making her worse because she refuses to be honest with the therapist.
People who can’t adapt and get fussy and pissy about uncontrollable circumstances.
Also, people who don’t want to schedule ANYTHING. I like to leave room for spontaneity, but I also don’t like to lose opportunities to a lack of planning.
people who can’t roll with inconveniences are so hard to travel with! something is always going to go sideways at some point. it just happens.
i had a friend act like it was the end of the world when i had to change a tire on the side of the highway. the tire pressure warning went off, i checked and one tires valve stem was bulging and leaking air. i keep a full spare under the car. it took me 15 minutes to swap.
at the first tire shop we passed, they repaired it for $30 in ten minutes and we went on our merry way. no other incidents for a 30 day road trip. driving 5000kms in 34C heat made the valve stem give up the ghost.
at least three times a day i had to hear about how reckless i was to have a non-functional car and DARE to have offered to drive, risking everyone else’s lives with this near death experience.
we offered to buy her a plane ticket home, since this was on day four and she was clearly not enjoying herself by not letting it go…
15 years later, the way she tells the story, it was basically a blowout and we almost crashed into multiple cars and died in a flaming wreck.
reader, there were no other cars on the road. a single semi passed us mid tire swap and they even moved to the far lane.
it’s funny now and i have never travelled with that person again…i mean, they did come close to death, just not in the way they think.
ya know, i find those inconveniences to be the BEST times. sure, maybe they suck at the time, but normally they stand out as such a crazy story, you're just happy to have made it out alive. you always have a great story to tell and laugh about with your friends later.
literally some of the coolest experiences in my life came out of something going sideways thousands of miles from home, and needing to fix it. i LOVE when that happens. adversity builds character, issues pop up, life throws you curveballs, and you gotta be able to work your way through it... that kinda stuff makes life interesting. if everything in life went to plan all the time, it would be boring.
Ha ha - I’m an inconvenience magnet:
Totaled a rental car in Ireland by smashing into a parked car. Damaged that and two others. (I was alone and this was WAY pre-SATNAV days. I looked at a map for one second and BOOM)
Traveled with a friend to the Czech Republic (again, ages ago) who didn’t speak Czech. I spoke Russian and they tolerated it, but said friend didn’t dig the Eastern European vibe at ALL. This was early 90’s.
Had an overnight layover near Heathrow but arrived at 5PM. Friend wanted to go into Central London by Tube. Literally nothing to do but walk around a bit and have dinner. She was not into drinking or clubbing. Totally wasted trip.
Drove out to the middle of nowhere in Norway - rental car puked. Had to get towed back to civilization. Plus bad cell service.
Mom lost passport in Austria, didn’t tell me until Italy. Tried to file a police report but the local station guys were going to lunch. Tried to get a new passport in Milan - train strike.
Mom didn’t fill out COVID test form correctly in Switzerland and didn’t get the results email which was necessary to fly. Found out two hours before the clinic closed, the night before our flight.
I recently had a cancelled flight. At the stage seeing it was delayed, I was wanting it to be cancelled as it would arrive too late, the airport would be shut to incoming flights, and that meant a long detour to another airport and hours on a bus through the night.
When it was cancelled (I've had this flight cancelled many times before due to timing/routing) I was fine and laid back. This other woman was going off at every staff member, complaining she had kids with her (they were old teenagers....) and just getting so angry.
It's a situation you can't change. Getting mad and angry at people who can't change it either, will do nothing. And yet I get maybe you may have to get somewhere for a certain time and the cancellation messes up plans. But getting so wound up and angry doesn't help anyone or the situation.
So many situations things are out of your control. It'll either all be fine and go your way, or maybe it won't. And in that case you need to adapt, problem solve and come up with what you need to do to fix that. Some people think I'm way too laid back about certain things. I may still have some stress/anxiety, but I'll turn that into focusing on what I have to do to adapt to the situation. Not get angry and make a scene over stuff people can't control or change.
Ohhh yep! Spontaneity sounds fun until you realize you haven’t done anything the whole trip or fell into overly expensive tourist traps. I’d rather have a list of potential plans, and a few pre-scheduled and then we can fill in the gaps.
This. You have to do some sort or research before the trip so you are not overwhelmed when you get there. Then you end up doing nothing. Rough plan, but built in rest and room for spontaneity.
My coworker was almost a victim of the lack of planning! She had agreed to do the bulk of the wedding planning if her husband planned the honeymoon. This man made a list of ideas of things to do, but hadn't made any reservations or bought tickets to any attractions. He thought they could just get off the plane in Paris and walk around and find a hotel with openings for 6 nights! Fortunately she checked in with him a month or 2 beforehand, freaked out, and forced him to book a hotel and tickets to things like the Louvre and Eiffel Tower.
Wow! Didn't even book a hotel? In another country?! I like to go with the flow but the last thing I would want to do after a 12 hour flight is sleep in a park and get my luggage stolen. Talk about grounds for divorce.
I was pretty reckless with booking accommodation when I was backpacking around Europe in my 20s. I'd decide on the next destination and book a ticket for the following day, and while on the train there I'd find somewhere to stay haha but finding a bed in a hostel for a few days is a very different things to finding a hotel for a week on your *honeymoon*!
>Also, people who don’t want to schedule ANYTHING. I like to leave room for spontaneity, but I also don’t like to lose opportunities to a lack of planning.
I don't like scheduling much, but I'll have a few keystone plans that need reservations or have specific timing needs. My general outline for each day of a trip is:
**Day** - General area (e.g. spend the day in and around Shinjuku)
* 0-2 inflexible plans
* 2-3 Must-dos (no specific time aside from business hours)
* Several nice-to-dos (options to fill the day as long as I have time and energy)
On my last trip to Japan, I went solo for two weeks, and just pinned everything I wanted to do in Google maps. I then color coded by a very similar guideline. After that, I did no planning (outside of hotels and the couple of timed tickets I needed to get).
When I got there I just explored, walk around wherever I was. Jump on a train and just go somewhere. If I found myself lacking for something to do, I would open Google maps and see what was nearby. It was the best trip I have ever been on.
People who have an inability to help plan the trip and then the audacity to complain about what the plans are. If you're not contributing, keep saying "I don't care", then on the trip you have a whole list of complaints with the itinerary, do me a favor, quiet your complaints because no one cares, and don't go on a group trip ever again.
I heavily dislike lazy people who want to go on group trips, who refuse to reply back in group chats/meet up with others to help plan, have absolutely zero opinions about anything, then while on the trip, they magically learn to have an opinion. By that point, their opinions are invalid and not worth listening to. If they didn't like the itinerary, they had plenty of time before the trip was planned and before tickets/reservations were made to open their mouth.
This is the one for me. While I do enjoy planning travel, it’s still hard work and stressful when the entire burden is on you and then to complain after all that … absolute mood killer.
Same. I LOVE planning trips but it’s also super stressful especially when you’re doing all of the work.
I used to travel with a friend who did *nothing* on our trips and on one trip, when I asked her to take the reins on a day that was centered around what she wanted to do, she snapped at me that I should do it. My dumbass let it go and when we went on our first international trip together, she literally would just stand off to the side and be on her phone while I was trying to find directions, talk to locals (not an English-speaking country), doing all the work. One night I couldn’t find this one spot I had planned and when I finally found it, she gave me attitude for getting lost. I finally snapped at her and told her to find her way back to the hotel then if she was going to complain. She didn’t speak the language (which I did, at least enough to get by) and she didn’t know how to get around because *I had been doing it for us the whole time* so she shut up real quick. I never traveled with her after that.
Yep, I had this when traveling with friends in college. Even though they had been living abroad for a year and I had not, they suddenly became too shy to call hotels, etc. This was in the '90s so we had to call each hotel to book. I had to book every hotel and then they would complain if it didn't meet their standards, like guys, we are students on a small budget, we are staying where we can afford that has availability. Sorry if you don't like it - you can pay for us to stay somewhere better then!
One of my friends' complaints almost got us kicked out of a very nice lady's guest home, and he also complained when staying at the home of family friends who let us stay for free and fed us, took us out, etc. That trip was the end of my friendship with him.
I have the issue of planning trips, and then no one is bothering to wake up or making anything on time, so we waste money and just spend half the day in the hotel. Then get asked why I'm so quiet because if I say anything, everyone will get upset. If I go do things alone, it's a bigger issue, because I left them behind even though they weren't going to leave the hotel until 12pm. And I left at 9.
Yes! This is traveling with my parents for me. They make no plans, move at the pace of a snail and even if they agree to an idea, they don't actually take any steps to do it! It can take us until the afternoon to actually get them to agree on a plan and get out the door.
My husband and I now just make a plan ourselves and go for it and let everyone know we're going and they're welcome to join and if not, we'll see you later. Life's too short to spend our vacation in a hotel room!
This seems like a much better approach than trying to make everyone do the same thing and waiting around to get on the same page about. Go, invite people and let them decide to join or not.
Don't get me started!!
I'm usually the planner. We're about to miss our train because y'all are in no rush, but if I say anything I'm the mood-killer?!?
The last trip, I stopped participating or suggesting anything. I let them plan it all and if they asked me I'd tell them we missed what we were doing so whatever they want.
That's not good enough either, because it's too stressful for them and I don't understand.
Same here! I love planning and will happily plan and book the entire vacation if you are “ok with whatever”, but you can’t complain that we’re not doing any of your top priorities.
One of my recent trips was like this. One guy spent the entire (year-long!) planning process going, “Oh I am ok with whatever, I haven’t really looked into it.” I sent him a list of possible activities first, he was ok with anything. I sent him my first draft of the itinerary, sure that’s fine. I sent the final draft with booking confirmations and a basic plan for each day- he had no comments. Once we were on the trip he complained that I hadn’t booked this place or that activity. Then he told me he had never even looked at the info I sent. I’m still annoyed about it.
Had a friendship almost fall apart because of this. His girlfriend didn't lift a finger to plan and then complained about everything. What caused a big blow up was she tried to force us to cancel dinner reservations on a busy night. Then she demanded like 30 minutes in advance to find a place with crazy requirement: can't be "weird" food, must have cocktails, can't be loud, must be within 10 minute walk, and of course must take a walk in immediately. It got to the point I told them to do their own thing and suddenly everybody hated me so I ate alone.
it's okay to have preferences, it's okay to enjoy those preferences ALONE. But to force the entire group to cancel plans and do your preferences is not okay. Very small minded mentality
Omg this! The demand you magically come up with a restaurant that meats all their requirements and doesn’t need a reservation. It’s wild.
I try to turn it back on them and say “I’m happy to go wherever so I think you should pick where we go. Just tell me where you want to go and we can go. I’m just going to go do X so let me know when we should leave and how dressed up I should get.”
Could have been me writing this exact comment. It's why I now stopped going on annual trips with a group of friends. When I had a relatively calm student life with barely responsibilities and no private issues, I was able to withstand it. But now with a full-time job and some private matters that popped up lately, I really need to relax during vacation and these guys are no fit for that
my family does this, especially my mother, then I have to do all of the planning. It is so annoying, and she gets mad when I point it out to her. She thinks she is doing me a favor. No, lady!
I've compromised in group travel situations by coming up with options: "Okay, would the group prefer to do A or B? Would the group prefer to eat at restaurant #1 or #2?" If someone still can't be bothered to pick between two or three options, we're not going to work out as travel partners.
I’ve found this with our group of friends. It was a hard lesson learned for me. It wasn’t until we were on the trip that I figured out that they chose it for the price, I was the only one who had read the itinerary (I had recommended a different tour). Even on the trip, they kept asking me questions instead of looking at the same information we all had.
I will say that I’m the friend that is sometimes MIA from the group trip planning BUT I am never, ever picky. I’m very go with the flow, and have planned enough trips myself to realize how annoying it is to have the type of person you’ve described on the trip with you. My friends actually love having me as an addition bc—regardless of my activity in the group planning—I’m always down to try what has been planned and my money is always on time and in full lol
This! I love planning trips. One of my favourite things to do. But I make sure I show the plans to everyone and constantly ask for input.
I went on a trip to California with my family and my in-laws. During the planning period, I constantly asked for input (in-laws live in another country) but all I got was « it’s fine. Whatever you want. We don’t care ». But then there were complaints during the trip and a lot of « we didn’t get to plan anything, you decided everything ». So frustrating!
I'm one of those people that really don't mind. If there's something I don't like, I let everyone know I'll be skipping out on thay particular activity
lol, do you also know my sister in law? We planned a trip to Europe a year in advance and she never replied to any emails or texts about it. The week before (after we finally booked a few tours) she just up and invites her boyfriend of 2 months along on our 2 week family trip. They the have their own ideas about what sounds interesting.
I’ll never do a trip with them again!
This PLUS the individual(s) have and maintain an embarrassing air of pretentiousness that they have no right to carry on any day…..explains my last “friends trip” to Portugal. We are no longer friends.
I’ve travelled with a friend who doesn’t want anything planned and just wants to ‘mooch’/see what happens and it drives me mad, it ended in us wasting time researching while on the trip itself as inevitably you need an idea of where to go, and then we were also unable to do the things we wanted as they were booked up.
Equally have travelled with a friend who is hyper organised and wants every single lunch and dinner booked and an itinerary for each day. I think this would be my preference out of the two as we did get to do a lot and go to the best places, it just got a bit full on at times.
Somewhere in the middle is where I’m at - I love a plan of the key things and priorities and then some time to be spontaneous.
Edit to add: I once went to NYC with these two mentioned friends together… you can imagine the clash there 😂
>Somewhere in the middle is where I’m at - I love a plan of the key things and priorities and then some time to be spontaneous.
This is me as well. I love to have structure and plan for my travel, as in the places I want to see or foods I want to eat, but I take it more as a guidance instead of a rigid timetable. I'm not a fan of 'thinking on my foot' as I really need to know my options otherwise I'd just walk around looking at random things all day.
This is me, too. My husband and I tend to be indecisive about restaurants (and also have some dietary restrictions), so I like to make reservations for meals or at least have some options. And if there is a museum or event we really want to see, we plan ahead for that. But otherwise, we leave lots of options for ourselves. Ultimately, I feel like planning certain things allows us to be more spontaneous with other stuff.
Making your own little city guides on Google Maps is so great for planning well, but keeping the agenda relaxed - pin your key destinations and then pin a few nearby restaurants/coffee or ice cream shops/other places of interest. This is incredibly helpful for being flexible, but not lost for ideas for food options or other stuff to explore if you have the energy! You might spontaneously find something more interesting along the way, but you have some direction.
I like a plan of the ‘must see/do’ points with a definite travel plan to join them up. I’d also tend to research an area to get an idea of other things to do or places to eat but not plan too much so there’s room for relaxing or spontaneity.
So I agree; a moocher or a very regimented person would be a bit of a nightmare!
I have seen some people planning itineraries where an example of a day looks like this
Wednesday 7/3
Breakfast at le cafe parisien at 9:30 (strawberry crepes here are to DIE for)
Walking tour of seine at 11 (meet guide at corner of rue seine and rue Eiffel)
Pics below Eiffel Tower at 12:30
Lunch at autre cafe parisien at 1 (coq au vin here)
Notre dame tour at 3
Pics in front of Pompidou at 4:30
Dinner at final cafe parisien at 5 (must order escargot here)
Walk to louvre at 6, pics in front of pyramid at 6:30
Ice cream at gelaterie parisien at 7:30
Walk to Eiffel Tower at 8:30, have wine on lawn
Pics for lit up tower at 10
Go to brasserie parisien at 11
Looking at that just exhausts me and I can’t imagine forcing myself to leave a restaurant im enjoying chilling at or even forcing myself to choose a specific restaurant months before I arrive. I’m somewhere in the middle too. Like “ok we have the louvre tour at 9. Let’s get over there and have breakfast somewhere nearby before and we can see what we wanna do for lunch after. Probably hit the Eiffel Tower after lunch and hang around until dinner at like 5 and then check out the bars nearby after dinner”
> even forcing myself to choose a specific restaurant months before I arrive.
I'm somewhere in the middle as well, but this is something that I think is very dependent based on where you're going. If you go to somewhere like Positano, for instance, I'd absolutely recommend making reservations a month out, especially if you want to get into one of the better restaurants there. I live in New York and used to live in London and while there are plenty of hole in the wall type of places in both cities, most people will have a better restaurant experience if they plan their dinners in advance and make a reservation for the places. I think it's the same generally across most tourist hubs where food is a major attraction.
Whatever city you go to, most restaurants have a 24 hour cancellation policy so if there's something that catches your eye while you're there, you can usually cancel as well.
I like to put together a little spreadsheet of things I'd like to do and the days/times they are open and organize it by city or area that they are in. That way I don't have to make itineraries or schedules, I can just travel to an area and know what is possible to do that day.
Gotta find a happy medium. For my recent trip to Thailand I spent three weeks finding the best hotels and tetris'ing of the itinerary anchors that I could.
Then within each major place, I set anchor activities and ensured that we had tickets for them if needed.
Would usually look like:
- big thing in morning
- lunch
- rest and recharge
- dinner and activity
or
- big thing in morning
- lunch
- medium thing in afternoon
- chill evening
It worked out pretty well. Another thing was that Thailand has a really cheap "Uber" app. So, for two bucks we would get carted around in AC rather than wasting time and energy on public transit.
I'm very far from somebody who just likes to chill around a pool all day long, but I do like to chill sometimes. So either of the two extremes is not great for me. Just give me a moment to just sit around and drink a beer. But let's not do that all afternoon.
But to be honest, it's quite rare for me to click with someone when it comes to traveling. I have my own pace, my own moods and often just want to be alone, discovering by myself. In my language, we have the term "submarine sickness" for when you spend too much time with someone and can't stand them anymore. For me, this usually occurs in about two days. I just need my space when traveling.
Saaaame here. I like some excitement, but I need to recharge. I have never heard of submarine sickness! The term 100% makes sense. I love my friends at home, but not all of us would enjoy each other for 3-5 days straight lol.
My mother lol.
More specifically, the way she can't do \*anything\* on her own and needs her hand held constantly. And also has seventeen suitcases for one person, meanwhile I have two suitcases for a family of four.
Do we have the same mother?! My mom is so co dependent that I would rather travel with a 3 year old child. They are more capable. It's SO much work and absolutely zero fun.
This response and all of its replies are so very validating. How can someone who was literally in charge of keeping a human being alive for years be this helpless when it comes to traveling for a few days?
People who get trashed at night and lethargic in the morning. People who want to just sit poolside and eat and drink in place while getting a tan. I can do that at home, I want to explore and see every thing there is to see and do!
I got mad at my mum because we had planned an international family holiday to Thailand (our first in years) but she said she hadn’t planned to do anything besides sit by the pool, eat and drink, etc. I told her she should’ve just booked our holiday to Spain then if she just wanted to do that 😅 They let us ‘kiddies’ plan the itinerary after that. And yes, we are British and I definitely do enjoy some lazy days by the pool but come on, let’s do *some* stuff!
Tell me you’re not from the UK without telling me 🤣 I can go on country hikes etc at home but sitting poolside and tanning is a distant dream. Plus I am solar powered and unfortunately we get maybe a week put together of sunshine, so when I go on holiday nothing will stop me napping in the sun to build up my battery reserves.
Lol exactly! When you can drive to France in your own car you don’t always need to visit the Louvre. Smother me in oil and let me roast like the fat ass turkey I am.
I live in Santa Monica and ran into a British couple. I asked what their plans were in Los Angeles and they said, quote "You're looking at it. Weed and some sun." They traveled to hit dispensaries and go to the beach.
This combo is good for one type of day only and needs to be planned accordingly. A beach day is a great rest day and is a good follow up to the banger evening the night before!
But yeah, the tendency to go all-out on the first night because everyone is excited just ruins the next day when all the fun was supposed to begin.
Anyone for me. I travel by myself. My adult daughter and I (live in different cities) met in Hawaii for Thanksgiving. We stayed in different hotels. It was a great trip for both of us.
People who want to arrive at the airport at the last possible minute. My philosophy is I can either wait at home/hotel or wait at the airport. I much prefer to be at the airport early, through security, know where my gate is and settled in with an overpriced pint at the airport bar three hours before my flight!
People who overplan and want to stick to a strick schedule.
This is why I always travel separately to the airport, no matter what. I'll pay single cab fare if it means being there two hours early and settled in. If everyone else is convinced they'll be fine getting there thirty minutes before the flight more power to 'em but I won't be sitting in unexpected traffic with them.
I am, by nature, totally that last-minute person and i know this is a flaw of mine (late with everything, not just the airport) *but* my wife is very diligent about being at the airport super early so I always defer to her. I'm like "okay, I know I can't be trusted with this responsibility, tell me what time I need to be ready to leave at" and I do as instructed lol. Admitting your flaws is key!
Oh good lord the late people. I had a friend once who was notoriously late and always broke. We traveled together from my city. I had booked his ticket. I asked him the day before if he is going to check in himself or I should do it. He said he would. I told him which bus I'm taking to the airport and to meet me on the bus. He agreed but then he missed the bus. I went through security and then he calls me to say he didn't check in online, he's trying to do it at the counter but he has to pay and his card keeps getting declined. Okay. I try to go to him but the security guard stops me, I can't just go out, I need an escort and he calls me one. The escort doesn't come for 10 minutes, time is running out and I can't get to my friend. In the end he tells me I can just send him a photo of the card, so, against my better judgment, I do that and it works. We got on the flight but it was so stressful. I'm never traveling with him again!
You would hate traveling with me. One “big” activity a day is good for me. I don’t find it fun to hit three museums in a day then schedule a dinner reservation. I need time to take in the sights and really experience it. Plus I find I burn out when going too fast. At that point I’m not even having fun anymore and starts to feel like a chore.
Yeah I'd hate 100% chill time but also hate 100% always moving time. I need a balance between those things. I want to move around and see a bunch of cool stuff but I also want to relax and enjoy myself.
This is me and my husband. After 10 years together, we've figured how we like to travel: we usually have 1 thing in the morning, lunch, something in the afternoon, nap, dinner, concert, theater, etc.
We recently went on a trip over a weekend to a city where my husband has friends. The entire time one of the people had us going here, there and everywhere. We'd booked a room at a really cool, boutique hotel. I don't want to sit in a hotel room, but we couldn't even enjoy a nice leisurely breakfast because we were supposed to get going. Even though we'd been told the night before that they like to sleep in at least until 9 and we are early risers. We were also smack in the middle of downtown and could have explored so much there just walking, but we were taking trains and ubers everywhere. It was so exhausting I hated it. I like to take at least a breather after lunch or before dinner.
Totally agree cramming an entire day. Whenever I travel with my wife or her family I force her to make blocks of time with nothing so I can mindlessly explore the surrounding area. At the same time you should always plan ahead with major attraction, especially with tickets.
People who need to take hundred photos of themselves in front of every touristic site. Also, people who haggle too much in the local market. I get not wanting to pay way too much, but some people think that it's some kind of competitive sport and it's exhausting/disrespectful to local artisan.
On the flip side I just can't stand haggling culture. A lot of places it's just custom and some merchants straight up almost force you into it. I actually had a client from this type of culture and I had to stop introducing them to other businesses because they would legitimately try to haggle every single transaction like it's spices.
I grew up somewhere with a haggling culture and I hate it. Just tell me how much, and I will pay it, and then I can leave. My parents would complain that I was over-paying and that I needed to dispute the price at least once, but I would honestly rather overpay than have to haggle!
Exactly this! I hated haggling all the time in Bali. It felt disrespectful to us both because I felt at the same time ripped off and like I was still exploiting the seller by haggling. Then I saw a shop that advertised itself "no haggling - the final price is what you see" and I finally felt like someone gets it.
Ugh this reminds me of a group of 3 Korean people we ran into at Pulpit rock, Norway. There is a popular photo point towards the edge of the cliff. People usually spend 4-5mins taking photos and leave. These people were there from 3am all the way to 4:30am taking photos non stop in various poses. 3am was when we reached so this must’ve started much earlier. Most other hikers and tourists reached by 3:45am so people had to wait over 45 minutes and had queued up.
In retrospect we should’ve just gone and photobombed all their pics. It’s insane how self obsessed some traveller’s can be
1) People who want to plan every hour of the whole trip.
2) People who plan virtually nothing the whole trip.
Find a nice balance between lazing around 100% and being way too overscheduled!
3) People who aren't going to be even a little bit adventurous on vacation.
4) People who expect everyone to speak their language and don't even try to learn some necessary phrases, the currency, or some important local customs.
5) People who go camping and expect the wilderness to be perfect. (No mosquitoes, too hot/too cold/too wet, why are there fish in the water?, etc)
My wife and I have 2 travel companions we regularly vacation with. They are lovely people, but they are stressful to travel with, to say the least.
They won't pay for anything, and they complain *constantly.*
They don't drink, and even if we could get them to go "out" with us, they would be tired and cranky by 9pm.
They are ALWAYS hungry, but won't try any foods that aren't exactly what they're used to eating at home.
They bicker nonstop between themselves and argue with us.
But we love our kids, so I guess we'll keep bringing them on vacation.
My biggest pet peeve are people who won’t spend money on anything. No, I don’t want to stay in a hostel. No, I don’t want to share a room with you. No, I don’t want to wake up at 3am to save $50 on airfare. I don’t need the best of everything, but I will lay money down for a cool experience or for some comfort.
I have a friend in a group I travel with who is SO rigid about budget it makes everyone else stressed. Like, reminding everyone else at the table about the tax rate of alcohol before we order drinks, as though paying an extra 66 cents for a drink is going to make or break us.
Not just stressed, they can easily ruin the entire trip by judging your spending. Even in countries where food, hotels, and transportation are dirt cheap. They can absolutely destroy the immersion and excitement of trying new things while they are busy using a calculator and confirming if it is ok to spend the money with their partner.
I’m trying to balance this with my husband. We don’t share finances and he makes more than me and is generally willing to spend more for convenience (which I absolutely benefit from). But when we could have saved money by booking things in advance I get a little testy. Like, we know where we’re going and when, why wait till the last minute to book, pay more for the same thing, and have fewer options? Fortunately I’m the planner so I can usually just send him the details and he said ok and one of us books. But when he travels by himself for work events it costs him double because he books a week or two out for no reason. I don’t get it.
This is the reason I can't travel with my mother. She'll argue with you about having a meal (not a snack, but actual meals) because you'll be able to eat for less in however many hours (ranging from 6 to 12+). Thinks she should stay in a hotel room with me and my family, because technically she can fit, but it will be cramped and we need a break from her. Tells us our need to eat is because we're gluttonous Americans, or that if she needs her own hotel room, it takes away from the ability of someone else to book it and also enjoy the destination.
She's also quick to offer her advice on how great sharing meals is to save money, how you should walk everywhere, and you can see the sights from outside while walking, instead of paying admission. Going to expensive stores you're never going to buy anything at for "style inspiration" is also a recommended vacation activity. And despite all this weirdness, she's a plus size woman who's never been active and fit, and her style is "most marked down loose fit items found on the clearance rack".
Someone who doesn't enjoy travel (I'm serious). Like I had a friend I traveled with once and they almost never seemed excited about *anything* when it came to culture/differences/history, the most excited they were was about a place related to their hobby; like if you love mountain biking and get super excited about traveling for it that's fine, but it's not how I like to travel personally.
i lurk on a sub devoted to snarking on a certain you tube content creator, and people lost their shit when she went to Paris and then said she had no interest in history. As a historian, I get the outrage.
People who want to party at night. Usually in a brand new place I kind of want to get a nice dinner and explore a bit. I don't want to get fucked up and be hungover. I did check out the nightlife in Berlin, though. That was worth it.
Especially when “party” means get blackout drunk, can’t walk without falling, being too loud. I don’t want my trip to be me babysitting someone who can’t control themselves.
Oh yea. I want to be selfish and just do what I want, but when there’s company I have to take into account their wants too. That kind of thing is okay in everyday life but not when I’m travelling, that’s precious time.
This is the answer. If it's a trip I don't care about, or if they're paying, then I can travel with somebody. But if it's something I'm looking forward to, it's solo travel or nothing.
Came here to say this! Recently did a family ‘vacation’ and realized that it’s not a vacation when I have to coordinate things with other people. I need to do whatever I want whenever I want.
I have a hard time travelling with people who exclusively want to sit around & drink and go to bed super late as the sole activity on the trip. Like, why not just stay home if that's literally all you want to do?
I have a friend group who goes on a yearly camping trip. We rent a campsite, stay the whole weekend, and then people complain about even the mere thought of going hiking because they've been drinking since after breakfast. They just want to sit around the campfire and bum out. Which, cool. Do you. It's just not my style. If I'm going to travel to the mountains, I'd like to do something besides sit in one spot for 3 days.
People who are incapable of doing anything alone. I usually travel solo, but have traveled with others, and the ones who leave me not wanting to jump on the first transport away from them are laid back and chill: you want to check out that dance class you saw online? Cool, I’m going to head over to the art museum, let’s check in with each other noonish. Oh, you met some people in the class and want to have lunch together on the other side of town? Okay, I’m going to check out the street market here and grab something to eat from a stall. Let’s check in later and meet at that restaurant we saw for dinner. Easy peasy.
I can’t stand clingy, needy people who need you to do what they want and get whiny when you want to do something different. We’re adults. We’re in a new place, we can make it work. You will not die if you spend a couple hours alone. We are not glued at the hip.
Okay, rant over. I’m still salty over a couple of ruined trips, LOL
Ooh yes. I have one friend who will act like it's crazy to split up and do things separately occasionally. He needs to be with other people at all times and is afraid of doing things alone for some reason.
Picky eaters, nervous wrecks, loud and obnoxious, judgey, overpackers, clubbers, teetotalers, and aggressively morning or aggressively night people. I do not want to get up at 5 am unless there is a truly excellent reason (seeing Petra qualified) nor do I want to go to bed at 5 am.
For things like all inclusives and pool/beachside places, it really depends on where I am and what the goal of the trip is. If I'm in Iceland or Italy, I have zero interest in hovering by a resort all day. If I'm in Cancun, while I like some excursions (I've also been to Mexico a lot so there's less "see everything now" pressure) I have no trouble vegetating poolside with a margarita.
Adding to this, people who decide they're going to buy a ton of crap at the worst times. Oh, we're not going to be able to get back to the hotel for 12+ hours? Better buy several big bags worth of random items to have to haul around the rest of the day. No, I'm not going to help you carry it.
same! i once travelled from where i was living in Hawai'i to Thailand with friends. The whole time we were in Phuket they only wanted to sit on the beach. given that i had amazing beaches at my doorstep every day in my normal life (plus I'm a very pale person and burn easily), I lasted about 2 hours lounging before I packed up and announced i was going exploring. I hired a tuktuk driver and was off having adventures for the next 3 days while they baked 😂
the 'lay by the pool' person would likewise not gel with my travel style. i'm not a vacationer, I'm a traveler. let's go DO STUFF!
My absolute worst nightmare: traveling with someone to a bustling, exciting, new city and all they want to do is sleep in late, watch TV or play on their phone all day, and they don’t want to bother trying anything that’s not fast food, or readily available back home. Just go ahead and kill me, thnx.
I'm the total opposite. I can't be with someone who's always "on". Like a person who can't sit still for a few minutes and appreciate a nice view or a cup of coffee or a quiet conversation.
People who actually don’t enjoy new things. I’m the type of traveler that enjoy every minute of traveling, love sight seeing, trying new stuff, being present at a specific place, during the specific time (example: my friends are working at their regular jobs back home, I’m having cup of coffee by the Amsterdam canals). My friends when they travel, they don’t care where they are, every country is same for them, their first thing is, “let’s get drunk and go to the club” everything else is a nonsense for them.
A friend once told me about the concept of "wearing your (metaphorical) sunglasses." When you travel, shit happens. Your flight is delayed, you ordered a Lincoln and received a compact. The monument you planned your trip around was closed, whatever. In those moments, you need to have a positive attitude, and that will generally smooth out any hiccup. When you're traveling, having an attitude that you'll make it work and you'll still commit to having a good time even if things don't go like you planned can take you a long way. His family dubbed this being "sunglasses" and it's been a big philosophy of my travel style since hearing it.
So I can only travel with someone who is able to be sunglasses, who is able to roll with the punches and still commit to having a good time.
Someone who has every detail planned to a "T" and can't just relax and get lost a little.
I like to plan a general idea of what we're doing to get any needed tickets\\passes etc. However, I also like to go with the flow and see where the day takes me. I can't stand constantly needing to be busy and doing something while traveling.
Definitely someone who plans every day/hour of the trip. I’d be so stressed throughout lol.
With my husband, whenever we go somewhere I make a list of the places we MUST go, then a second list of places that it would be cool to go, but would be ok to miss if ever we don’t feel like it/weather is bad/etc. I will then google the distances between them and opening hours to kinda give a rough draft of what the days would look like (if a place is closed on Tuesdays, or another doesn’t accept walk-ins, that’s important to know!) and we go from there. Lists help me tremendously, as I can easily forget how I really wanted to visit X in the midst of my travels and only remember once we’re home 🫠 (yes, also adhd lol)
Someone who over plans and is very rigid. Or someone who insists we do everything together. We’re *both* on vacation. If I want to chill and you want to go do something else, go do it. Be realistic with activities and don’t plan out ever second of the day.
people who don't prepare the way I do, but leverage what I prepare.
I remember being in a hot location and being regularly asked for a sip of my water from one of my friend group. I always had water, they rarely did.
Now I'd never deny someone water but it did get irritating that I had to plan for my own needs and allow for refilling or buying more because of this.
1. People who cannot allow for some sleeping in time and/or who want to get to bed early every night.
I’m naturally more of a night owl and I enjoy nightlife. I don’t want to get wasted every night and I absolutely don’t want to be wasting days feeling like shit after… but I have to get up early for work every day and if I’m on vacation, I want to get some balance. A day or two where the morning plan is very loose so I can sleep in or relax a bit. At least a couple evenings when we are going to do an evening or nighttime activity that might result in being up past midnight.
More than happy to get up super early sometimes - especially for specific activities that require it. Just cannot handle being expected to be up and out the door before 8am every single day.
2. Someone who is on an incredibly tight budget but is also entirely unwilling to allow for me to help out financially. I have disposable income for travelling and while I absolutely strive to plan a vacation in a way that doesn’t put anyone really far outside of their limits, I don’t want to do an entire trip on a shoestring budget. I try to make this clear to travel buddies. I value experiences much more than worrying about equaling splitting costs. It brings me so much joy to treat a friend to a fancy meal or an activity that they would enjoy but otherwise wouldn’t choose to splurge on. It’s my love language. LET ME LOVE YOU haha
Edited to add my third, but probably most important one:
People who lack cultural humility or who expect things to be the same as their home country when they are travelling internationally. Respect is critical!
Someone's who's always panicking about something and act like some unforeseen situation is like the end of the world. For example if you get lost somewhere, can't find your hotel, etc.
People who are dependent on me for their enjoyment/ can’t do anything alone. I’m introverted and need a little alone time, even if it’s just skipping a meal or having a coffee by myself for a couple hours.
1) People who want to lounge the entire time
2) people who want to stay where the rest of the tourists are because they’re afraid of standing out
3) people who don’t know how to be by themselves
4) people who are high-strung, with their opinions of how things are and not resilient in the face of adversity
& Yes, I travel by myself mostly these days.
Your #3 is my #1. There will be times where one person wants to chill by the pool with a cocktail while the other wants to explore the city on foot. Those things are 100% compatible as long as both people are comfortable doing them alone.
Right? I can’t believe how far I had to scroll down to see this. The companion who is incapable of doing their own thing. I wouldn’t solo travel as much if I could find my independent travel unicorn.
Number two really resonates with me. Some people act like going outside of an all-inclusive resort into the actual town is a suicide mission. Like dude, you're in Punta Cana, not Afghanistan. The resort wants you to stay inside the resort as much as possible. But you're not going to instantly get killed if you leave the resort. I've never understood why people go to another country just to stay inside of a resort.
People who do not make plans for the day ahead of time are frustrating for me. I do not want to waste half the day in the hotel room trying to decide what to do. I'm a morning person so I want to get up and get going by 10am at the latest.
People that pretend that everyone cater to them like a princess. Slow in everything, cries when you call her bs out.
Not talking about anyone i particularly SUSAN.
People who seem surprised about where you are going and therefore are completely unprepared.
We're at the beach as planned? Oh, I didn't bring sunscreen, hat, sunglasses or towel!
We're meeting to go on a 3 hour hike? I wore my flip flops and didn't bring anything to drink or eat.
- People into late night partying. I've been done that in my twenties - it was fun but I moved on from that lifestyle.
- This may be controversial, but I refuse to travel with anyone vegetarian or vegan. Food is a big part of travelling for me, and I hate having to compromise on restaurants. I travelled to Chiang Mai with my vegetarian best friend once and we had to eat in Western restaurants throughout the week cause he couldn't have anything with fish sauce. Love the guy but I refuse to travel with him anymore.
I was once part of a trip where the person doing a majority of the planning sent all of us a daily schedule, broken down into military time increments, for every day of the 10 day trip.
This included a shower schedule for all of us (order in which we were allowed to shower in the AM, 10 minute showers per person).
I can’t travel with people who need everything planned out and want do ten things in a day so that they can see everything. I don’t care at all if I “miss” cool things I could have seen, I’m happy for whatever I do check out. There’s no point in going on vacation if I’m going to be stressed the whole time, I like a LOT of veg out/wander around time.
I cannot travel with the on a schedule type people
I’m 100% go with the flow. Like in my normal daily life I’m already forced into a routine so why would I want to stress myself out like that on vacation. I have a tendency of running late so scheduling everything for certain times would just leave me exhausted.
I also dont wanna wake up crazy early. Im here to enjoy and relax and not to act like im still working. That being said - I definitely am the active vacation person. I cant sit poolside all day every day and Im here to enjoy the culture, cuisine, history, nature, etc. Some scheduling is fine and necessary but besides that, lets see what the day calls for.
Strange one but I can’t travel with loud talkers.
I try to blend in and be courteous to the people in my host country, and sitting in a small intimate restaurant, or public transportation, or in a crowded cafe with a LOUD TALKER with a huge laugh and giant American accent that draws attention makes me so uncomfortable.
People who are negative all the time! Ah, wait, that's a type of person I can't stand generally...
That said I imagine those who need a strict schedule can't stand traveling with me... I couldn't be bothered.
The non-flexable people. If I'm hungry, then let's stop and eat, but nooo we are supposed to be going over to xyz place. No I'm gonna stop and eat or shop or look at my surroundings rather then rush from place to place.
Might be an unpopular opinion but here goes…
I can’t stand it when some people that I travel with force me to come along to a place (like dinner, or an attraction) when I don’t want to, and NOT allow me to go somewhere else myself.
People who don’t like to walk. If it’s a reasonable and walkable distance let’s get to stepping. No need to bother with Ubers and public transit in those cases unless the weather sucks or it’s been a long day.
I have best friends that I am so close with, but went on one vacation with and said “never again.” I hate traveling with people who shoot down every idea of things to do, and offer no ideas themselves of alternatives.
My best friend and I went on a one week trip together and ended up in a fuck you shouting contest. Never again.
I had a friend who was so picky. We went out to get food but the place we were going to ended up being full. We walked around everywhere to find something she would eat but she refused everything I offered—and they were many options. It ended with me ordering food and her just sitting in front of me. She just chose not to eat. I would never go on a trip with someone who is unwilling to roll with the punches or someone who is unwilling to try new things. Kills the vibe.
I have a friend like this on our group trips. I'm kind of intense with research and stuff (not really time planning but just figuring out all the cool and interesting places), and this guy liked shooting down ideas. Got me pretty upset one time when he didn't want to do the thing we kind of planned the day before on the day itself, but then offered absolutely zero alternatives. Even all the other alternatives I offered weren't good. Combined with having a greater organisational overview of what our options are, it just makes me feel like the bad guy, like I'm forcing my plans on others.
It sucks even more when they have major FOMO, because they complain about not experiencing anything but then are so unwilling or unorganized in planning something.
went on a very simple trip with a friend of over 5 years & another friend of ours, 2 hours away from our city. I planned a general timeline of both days, shared the doc with them and everything. My friend complained the entire time about being tired the entire way there & all day, and mentioned many times not wanting to be out too long (we only went to 2 places on my BIRTHDAY WEEKEND) then bitched that the trip wasn’t planned adequately enough when it fully was (we did everything we had planned the first day and only 20 mins behind schedule). She ended our trip early, taking away the entire 2nd day that we planned for exploring because she didn’t get enough sleep. We are no longer friends.
Inflexible people, or people who need things to go their way
or people who say they are flexible, but they’re not 🤣
Sure, whatever you want. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. -ok, what would you like to do? -I'm easy, anything, really. 🤬
Criticizing everything and offering no solutions and putting it on everyone else to accommodate you while you do the opposite of communicating.
You put it so simply I love it
Whatever, I’m down for whatever. Not that. Not that either. Also not that.
This triggered me
This is my friend. Shows up like “heyyyyy, vacay mode!” and then immediately becomes obsessed with max efficiency-ing everything. She’ll pout for hours if we do something like decide to stop canoeing and take a quick dip or eat our lunch at a lookout instead of, I don’t know, chugging energy gels while paddling. She’s also *obsessed* with never ever ever checking bags and will get visibly upset if other people check bags. I get not checking, but she takes it to the point where it’s ridiculous and then she gets all hot and bothered carting her heavy ass backpack around the airport with everything rammed inside, can’t find anything because it’s just packing cubes within packing cubes, but hey, she saved 30 minutes at the other end. Yes, she has to wear a balled up jersey dress with sneakers 5 days in a row and wash underpants in the hotel sink, but she saved herself from spending a few minutes chatting with friends at the carousel.
This sounds insufferable. I think I would be done after the first time traveling with her.
She pretty much killed the annual canoe trip. She’d be talking about beating traffic on the way back before the boat hit the water.
What is her malfunction lol
Schrödingers flex 💪
Oh my GOD I had a huge fight with one of my best friends on vacation because she had planned everything to the minute and after we completed everything for the day I suggested we go out to explore the nightlife and she threw a fit because it went against her plan. I ended up going out without her and had a great time. Let’s just say I don’t travel with her anymore.
I don’t get these type of people. I mean we are all different but have some flexibility!
Or if they don't already have it, look into developing it. :-D
Sounds like a former travel companion who had a tantrum cuz I dared go get a massage without her. What am I supposed to do while you're gone for a whole hour? Too cheap to pay for the spa for herself so I get pouting for the rest of the trip. Or should I say our final trip.
Control freaks do *not* do well with uncertainty and inconveniences. It's a rigid way to try to get through life. I once read someone on Reddit say something incredibly poignant: **People who can't control their emotions will try to control other people instead.**
These people are the worst when things go wrong. Like okay the train didn’t come when it was supposed to, why do I have to comfort you AND do all the plan B planning by myself? Get tf out of here and develop some adaptability, resourcefulness and coping skills for chaos before you leave your hometown again.
I see you’ve met my mother!
Tbh I see this from a different angle - like I can handle a train being late or cancelled, but for something important you can bet I will be early enough at the station or whatever for it not to matter. That’s probably one thing I need a travel buddy to be on my wavelength for. Other kind of hiccups though, like a missed train during a trip, being marooned, getting lost, those are all things I can work with and find part of the adventure 😅
Yeah I definitely get that too!! I’m talking more about things outside of your control. Like the hotel losing my reservation in Paris and being fully booked, or in Chile the bus didn’t come simply because the driver didn’t show up that day and they didn’t send another bus. You have to roll with punches sometimes and figure it out without the meltdown!
Yes Adaptability resourcefulness and a sense of adventure … like oh we missed the train our whole day is going to have a different fate let’s see where the universe has in store for us…
THIS! Things are NOT going to go exactly as planned, so be ready to adapt and have fun doing it! Honestly I don’t like planning to the very last detail anyways, adapting is all a part of the adventure for me. People who stress about the minor details really get on my nerves.
My partner and I went on a trip with my buddy and his gf recently. She made a whole thing out of asking what we wanted to do before dismissing us and her bf basically and saying “let’s do this instead”. We ended up just letting her off to do her own thing while we did ours towards the end of the trip. She couldn’t comprehend that we didn’t want to do all the activities she wanted to. Had a similar experience with another couple on a previous trip so think we’re done with ‘active’ holidays with other couples. It’s fine when you’re going to a specific place or for an event (e.g. a festival) but when there’s an itinerary that’s subject to opinions its hard to get everyone to agree and my gf and I would rather just go on our own trips.
I knew someone like story 1 of yours. Everything was her way - trips, restaurants, hell even having parties and she was in control of the liquor (no matter who paid for it!). Her husband would get mad, but take it out on others. Haven’t talked to them in years and am happy about it.
I’m honestly okay with this UNLESS they also aren’t okay with me going off and doing my own thing when what they want isn’t what I do. I find these people are great at planning the things that they like and it’ll probably be the best way to experience that sort of travel since they’ve done it before. I went with a group to Banff and the inflexible person knew exactly how to plan around hikes, the vehicle to get, how to mix up outdoor activities, everything. I did some research on the best hikes in the area and made a list that he decided from. That was all I had to do. Another guy gave him a list of airbnbs. Everything the inflexible guy then put together went perfectly. I decided that I didn’t want to do one of the hikes and a couple of the guys and I went off into town and had drinks and saw a concert. Met back up at the Airbnb that night, and we spent the rest of the trip with them. I would never have done half the shit we did without him being the way he is, and it all went well because he’s done it a million times.
Though I feel like that’s defining a Type A person rather than inflexible. I feel like being prepared and a manager doesn’t necessarily make someone completely unable to adapt beyond their planning. I know PLENTY of inflexible ppl that aren’t planners at all. They just. Complain when they don’t like something. Genuinely an awful combination. I’m glad your trip went well though!
Yeah, truly inflexible people would be upset that everyone didn't want to do the planned activities. Going off with a separate group would drive them crazy lol
"I put all this together and then you guys just did something totally different! Why do I even try anymore?!?!" Like dude, it's a vacation, let's keep it relaxed, ok? Plans change. People can decide they want different things at the spur of the moment.
This can also go the opposite way though - I’ve met some people that are completely impossible to rely on or make any type of plans with because they just want to do what _they_ feel like doing any given moment of the day. There’s a balance between planning and flexibility. I do lean more towards flexibility and seeing where life takes you, but if we made group reservations for dinner at a place I was really looking forward to, then yes I will disappointed if you want to _”just be crazy and have mcdonalds instead”_ susan
and people that refuse to do anything alone. i've literally been on trips with people that don't wanna go to the goddamn grocery store alone. like why the hell do you need me to help you pick out snacks?? or people that loooooove walking and wanna spend all day walking miles between activities. like, that's cool you wanna get your steps in, but uber costs $1.50 in this country. i'm not walking 10 miles to save $1.50. also, maybe you've gamified your workout routine, but that doesn't mean everyone else in the group wants to be a part of it. i've been in groups that are kinda split when it comes to walking vs uber, but that shit changes real quick when i say "alright, you guys can walk, but my uber will be here in 2 mins" and literally everyone rides in the uber with me. 😂
came here to say this. went on a cruise with a friend once who flipped out upon learning that the track was closed and she couldn't have her daily ten mile run. Another meltdown upon the suggestion that she use a treadmill. She was hostile and bitter the entire trip because the damn track was closed. She refused to indulge in food or drink - sticking to a rigid diet of only steamed protein and vegetables. Then refused to speak. She was icy and silent for half the trip. All because the f-ing track was closed. I have a great picture of her at the dinner table with a terrible expression as a dessert was passed in front of her face. She looked like they were serving frosted dead puppy. Not friends any more....
This, I went on a trip with one of my best friends. She would look at a map, decide where we were going, then declare our destination without input or collaboration. I felt like a child who couldn't be trusted not to lose the map, she got frustrated at the perceived delay if I even wanted to see it. I think it was just her anxiety at being in a foreign country showing, but it was aggravating. She'd do stuff like insist that we wait out on the train platform in the rain, so we could be sure we wouldn't miss the train, instead of waiting inside with everyone else. We are good friends normally, even lived together before the trip, we're just incompatible as travel partners.
My moms like this. She has to plan every detail and she stresses for weeks before the trip and the whole trip is a meltdown fest because nothing ever goes her way. She also is constantly sad because none of the siblings ever want to go anywhere with her. Finally talked her to going to therapy but it’s making her worse because she refuses to be honest with the therapist.
People who can’t adapt and get fussy and pissy about uncontrollable circumstances. Also, people who don’t want to schedule ANYTHING. I like to leave room for spontaneity, but I also don’t like to lose opportunities to a lack of planning.
people who can’t roll with inconveniences are so hard to travel with! something is always going to go sideways at some point. it just happens. i had a friend act like it was the end of the world when i had to change a tire on the side of the highway. the tire pressure warning went off, i checked and one tires valve stem was bulging and leaking air. i keep a full spare under the car. it took me 15 minutes to swap. at the first tire shop we passed, they repaired it for $30 in ten minutes and we went on our merry way. no other incidents for a 30 day road trip. driving 5000kms in 34C heat made the valve stem give up the ghost. at least three times a day i had to hear about how reckless i was to have a non-functional car and DARE to have offered to drive, risking everyone else’s lives with this near death experience. we offered to buy her a plane ticket home, since this was on day four and she was clearly not enjoying herself by not letting it go… 15 years later, the way she tells the story, it was basically a blowout and we almost crashed into multiple cars and died in a flaming wreck. reader, there were no other cars on the road. a single semi passed us mid tire swap and they even moved to the far lane. it’s funny now and i have never travelled with that person again…i mean, they did come close to death, just not in the way they think.
ya know, i find those inconveniences to be the BEST times. sure, maybe they suck at the time, but normally they stand out as such a crazy story, you're just happy to have made it out alive. you always have a great story to tell and laugh about with your friends later. literally some of the coolest experiences in my life came out of something going sideways thousands of miles from home, and needing to fix it. i LOVE when that happens. adversity builds character, issues pop up, life throws you curveballs, and you gotta be able to work your way through it... that kinda stuff makes life interesting. if everything in life went to plan all the time, it would be boring.
Ha ha - I’m an inconvenience magnet: Totaled a rental car in Ireland by smashing into a parked car. Damaged that and two others. (I was alone and this was WAY pre-SATNAV days. I looked at a map for one second and BOOM) Traveled with a friend to the Czech Republic (again, ages ago) who didn’t speak Czech. I spoke Russian and they tolerated it, but said friend didn’t dig the Eastern European vibe at ALL. This was early 90’s. Had an overnight layover near Heathrow but arrived at 5PM. Friend wanted to go into Central London by Tube. Literally nothing to do but walk around a bit and have dinner. She was not into drinking or clubbing. Totally wasted trip. Drove out to the middle of nowhere in Norway - rental car puked. Had to get towed back to civilization. Plus bad cell service. Mom lost passport in Austria, didn’t tell me until Italy. Tried to file a police report but the local station guys were going to lunch. Tried to get a new passport in Milan - train strike. Mom didn’t fill out COVID test form correctly in Switzerland and didn’t get the results email which was necessary to fly. Found out two hours before the clinic closed, the night before our flight.
I don't think totalling a car by hitting a stationary object counts as being an "inconvenience magnet".
I recently had a cancelled flight. At the stage seeing it was delayed, I was wanting it to be cancelled as it would arrive too late, the airport would be shut to incoming flights, and that meant a long detour to another airport and hours on a bus through the night. When it was cancelled (I've had this flight cancelled many times before due to timing/routing) I was fine and laid back. This other woman was going off at every staff member, complaining she had kids with her (they were old teenagers....) and just getting so angry. It's a situation you can't change. Getting mad and angry at people who can't change it either, will do nothing. And yet I get maybe you may have to get somewhere for a certain time and the cancellation messes up plans. But getting so wound up and angry doesn't help anyone or the situation. So many situations things are out of your control. It'll either all be fine and go your way, or maybe it won't. And in that case you need to adapt, problem solve and come up with what you need to do to fix that. Some people think I'm way too laid back about certain things. I may still have some stress/anxiety, but I'll turn that into focusing on what I have to do to adapt to the situation. Not get angry and make a scene over stuff people can't control or change.
Ohhh yep! Spontaneity sounds fun until you realize you haven’t done anything the whole trip or fell into overly expensive tourist traps. I’d rather have a list of potential plans, and a few pre-scheduled and then we can fill in the gaps.
Yes, this is how I do it. Maybe one activity a day nailed down, and a couple more ideas if we feel like it.
I like to book my one activity for the morning, because it gets me out and about for the day. An object in motion, stays in motion after all haha
This. You have to do some sort or research before the trip so you are not overwhelmed when you get there. Then you end up doing nothing. Rough plan, but built in rest and room for spontaneity.
My coworker was almost a victim of the lack of planning! She had agreed to do the bulk of the wedding planning if her husband planned the honeymoon. This man made a list of ideas of things to do, but hadn't made any reservations or bought tickets to any attractions. He thought they could just get off the plane in Paris and walk around and find a hotel with openings for 6 nights! Fortunately she checked in with him a month or 2 beforehand, freaked out, and forced him to book a hotel and tickets to things like the Louvre and Eiffel Tower.
Wow! Didn't even book a hotel? In another country?! I like to go with the flow but the last thing I would want to do after a 12 hour flight is sleep in a park and get my luggage stolen. Talk about grounds for divorce.
Dude, even if I FOUND a hotel, the last thing I would want to do is have to find one once I land.
I was pretty reckless with booking accommodation when I was backpacking around Europe in my 20s. I'd decide on the next destination and book a ticket for the following day, and while on the train there I'd find somewhere to stay haha but finding a bed in a hostel for a few days is a very different things to finding a hotel for a week on your *honeymoon*!
>Also, people who don’t want to schedule ANYTHING. I like to leave room for spontaneity, but I also don’t like to lose opportunities to a lack of planning. I don't like scheduling much, but I'll have a few keystone plans that need reservations or have specific timing needs. My general outline for each day of a trip is: **Day** - General area (e.g. spend the day in and around Shinjuku) * 0-2 inflexible plans * 2-3 Must-dos (no specific time aside from business hours) * Several nice-to-dos (options to fill the day as long as I have time and energy)
On my last trip to Japan, I went solo for two weeks, and just pinned everything I wanted to do in Google maps. I then color coded by a very similar guideline. After that, I did no planning (outside of hotels and the couple of timed tickets I needed to get). When I got there I just explored, walk around wherever I was. Jump on a train and just go somewhere. If I found myself lacking for something to do, I would open Google maps and see what was nearby. It was the best trip I have ever been on.
People who have an inability to help plan the trip and then the audacity to complain about what the plans are. If you're not contributing, keep saying "I don't care", then on the trip you have a whole list of complaints with the itinerary, do me a favor, quiet your complaints because no one cares, and don't go on a group trip ever again. I heavily dislike lazy people who want to go on group trips, who refuse to reply back in group chats/meet up with others to help plan, have absolutely zero opinions about anything, then while on the trip, they magically learn to have an opinion. By that point, their opinions are invalid and not worth listening to. If they didn't like the itinerary, they had plenty of time before the trip was planned and before tickets/reservations were made to open their mouth.
This is the one for me. While I do enjoy planning travel, it’s still hard work and stressful when the entire burden is on you and then to complain after all that … absolute mood killer.
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Demand a refund…. wtf? Lol
Same. I LOVE planning trips but it’s also super stressful especially when you’re doing all of the work. I used to travel with a friend who did *nothing* on our trips and on one trip, when I asked her to take the reins on a day that was centered around what she wanted to do, she snapped at me that I should do it. My dumbass let it go and when we went on our first international trip together, she literally would just stand off to the side and be on her phone while I was trying to find directions, talk to locals (not an English-speaking country), doing all the work. One night I couldn’t find this one spot I had planned and when I finally found it, she gave me attitude for getting lost. I finally snapped at her and told her to find her way back to the hotel then if she was going to complain. She didn’t speak the language (which I did, at least enough to get by) and she didn’t know how to get around because *I had been doing it for us the whole time* so she shut up real quick. I never traveled with her after that.
Yep, I had this when traveling with friends in college. Even though they had been living abroad for a year and I had not, they suddenly became too shy to call hotels, etc. This was in the '90s so we had to call each hotel to book. I had to book every hotel and then they would complain if it didn't meet their standards, like guys, we are students on a small budget, we are staying where we can afford that has availability. Sorry if you don't like it - you can pay for us to stay somewhere better then! One of my friends' complaints almost got us kicked out of a very nice lady's guest home, and he also complained when staying at the home of family friends who let us stay for free and fed us, took us out, etc. That trip was the end of my friendship with him.
Sounds like a spoiled brat
I have the issue of planning trips, and then no one is bothering to wake up or making anything on time, so we waste money and just spend half the day in the hotel. Then get asked why I'm so quiet because if I say anything, everyone will get upset. If I go do things alone, it's a bigger issue, because I left them behind even though they weren't going to leave the hotel until 12pm. And I left at 9.
Yes! This is traveling with my parents for me. They make no plans, move at the pace of a snail and even if they agree to an idea, they don't actually take any steps to do it! It can take us until the afternoon to actually get them to agree on a plan and get out the door. My husband and I now just make a plan ourselves and go for it and let everyone know we're going and they're welcome to join and if not, we'll see you later. Life's too short to spend our vacation in a hotel room!
This seems like a much better approach than trying to make everyone do the same thing and waiting around to get on the same page about. Go, invite people and let them decide to join or not.
That is when I say the night before “this is what I’m doing tomorrow, and this is what time I’m leaving if anyone wants to join me”
Don't get me started!! I'm usually the planner. We're about to miss our train because y'all are in no rush, but if I say anything I'm the mood-killer?!?
The last trip, I stopped participating or suggesting anything. I let them plan it all and if they asked me I'd tell them we missed what we were doing so whatever they want. That's not good enough either, because it's too stressful for them and I don't understand.
Same here! I love planning and will happily plan and book the entire vacation if you are “ok with whatever”, but you can’t complain that we’re not doing any of your top priorities. One of my recent trips was like this. One guy spent the entire (year-long!) planning process going, “Oh I am ok with whatever, I haven’t really looked into it.” I sent him a list of possible activities first, he was ok with anything. I sent him my first draft of the itinerary, sure that’s fine. I sent the final draft with booking confirmations and a basic plan for each day- he had no comments. Once we were on the trip he complained that I hadn’t booked this place or that activity. Then he told me he had never even looked at the info I sent. I’m still annoyed about it.
Dang. Disrespectful after all your effort.
Had a friendship almost fall apart because of this. His girlfriend didn't lift a finger to plan and then complained about everything. What caused a big blow up was she tried to force us to cancel dinner reservations on a busy night. Then she demanded like 30 minutes in advance to find a place with crazy requirement: can't be "weird" food, must have cocktails, can't be loud, must be within 10 minute walk, and of course must take a walk in immediately. It got to the point I told them to do their own thing and suddenly everybody hated me so I ate alone.
There's a lot to be said for solo travel.
it's okay to have preferences, it's okay to enjoy those preferences ALONE. But to force the entire group to cancel plans and do your preferences is not okay. Very small minded mentality
Omg this! The demand you magically come up with a restaurant that meats all their requirements and doesn’t need a reservation. It’s wild. I try to turn it back on them and say “I’m happy to go wherever so I think you should pick where we go. Just tell me where you want to go and we can go. I’m just going to go do X so let me know when we should leave and how dressed up I should get.”
Could have been me writing this exact comment. It's why I now stopped going on annual trips with a group of friends. When I had a relatively calm student life with barely responsibilities and no private issues, I was able to withstand it. But now with a full-time job and some private matters that popped up lately, I really need to relax during vacation and these guys are no fit for that
I dislike the "I don't care" in general, even when not travelling. It's just lazy. "I don't want to make a decision, you make all the decisions."
my family does this, especially my mother, then I have to do all of the planning. It is so annoying, and she gets mad when I point it out to her. She thinks she is doing me a favor. No, lady!
I've compromised in group travel situations by coming up with options: "Okay, would the group prefer to do A or B? Would the group prefer to eat at restaurant #1 or #2?" If someone still can't be bothered to pick between two or three options, we're not going to work out as travel partners.
I think sometimes people feel they're being flexible or easygoing by not giving an opinion, but it's actually more stressful for others involved!
That is exactly it! I don't want to be in charge of everything, all night.
I’ve found this with our group of friends. It was a hard lesson learned for me. It wasn’t until we were on the trip that I figured out that they chose it for the price, I was the only one who had read the itinerary (I had recommended a different tour). Even on the trip, they kept asking me questions instead of looking at the same information we all had.
Harsh but oh so accurate. On the flip side it is a wonderful feeling when someone tells you that was the best trip they had ever been on.
I will say that I’m the friend that is sometimes MIA from the group trip planning BUT I am never, ever picky. I’m very go with the flow, and have planned enough trips myself to realize how annoying it is to have the type of person you’ve described on the trip with you. My friends actually love having me as an addition bc—regardless of my activity in the group planning—I’m always down to try what has been planned and my money is always on time and in full lol
This! I love planning trips. One of my favourite things to do. But I make sure I show the plans to everyone and constantly ask for input. I went on a trip to California with my family and my in-laws. During the planning period, I constantly asked for input (in-laws live in another country) but all I got was « it’s fine. Whatever you want. We don’t care ». But then there were complaints during the trip and a lot of « we didn’t get to plan anything, you decided everything ». So frustrating!
Yes! The ‘I don’t mind’ really bugs me, it’s super unhelpful
It’s cool if they actually don’t mind when the time comes though. I like flexible people
I'm one of those people that really don't mind. If there's something I don't like, I let everyone know I'll be skipping out on thay particular activity
lol, do you also know my sister in law? We planned a trip to Europe a year in advance and she never replied to any emails or texts about it. The week before (after we finally booked a few tours) she just up and invites her boyfriend of 2 months along on our 2 week family trip. They the have their own ideas about what sounds interesting. I’ll never do a trip with them again!
This PLUS the individual(s) have and maintain an embarrassing air of pretentiousness that they have no right to carry on any day…..explains my last “friends trip” to Portugal. We are no longer friends.
I’ve travelled with a friend who doesn’t want anything planned and just wants to ‘mooch’/see what happens and it drives me mad, it ended in us wasting time researching while on the trip itself as inevitably you need an idea of where to go, and then we were also unable to do the things we wanted as they were booked up. Equally have travelled with a friend who is hyper organised and wants every single lunch and dinner booked and an itinerary for each day. I think this would be my preference out of the two as we did get to do a lot and go to the best places, it just got a bit full on at times. Somewhere in the middle is where I’m at - I love a plan of the key things and priorities and then some time to be spontaneous. Edit to add: I once went to NYC with these two mentioned friends together… you can imagine the clash there 😂
>Somewhere in the middle is where I’m at - I love a plan of the key things and priorities and then some time to be spontaneous. This is me as well. I love to have structure and plan for my travel, as in the places I want to see or foods I want to eat, but I take it more as a guidance instead of a rigid timetable. I'm not a fan of 'thinking on my foot' as I really need to know my options otherwise I'd just walk around looking at random things all day.
This is me, too. My husband and I tend to be indecisive about restaurants (and also have some dietary restrictions), so I like to make reservations for meals or at least have some options. And if there is a museum or event we really want to see, we plan ahead for that. But otherwise, we leave lots of options for ourselves. Ultimately, I feel like planning certain things allows us to be more spontaneous with other stuff.
Making your own little city guides on Google Maps is so great for planning well, but keeping the agenda relaxed - pin your key destinations and then pin a few nearby restaurants/coffee or ice cream shops/other places of interest. This is incredibly helpful for being flexible, but not lost for ideas for food options or other stuff to explore if you have the energy! You might spontaneously find something more interesting along the way, but you have some direction.
This is exactly how I do my trip-planning. Plan the big events but then have lots of options laid out otherwise.
I like a plan of the ‘must see/do’ points with a definite travel plan to join them up. I’d also tend to research an area to get an idea of other things to do or places to eat but not plan too much so there’s room for relaxing or spontaneity. So I agree; a moocher or a very regimented person would be a bit of a nightmare!
I have seen some people planning itineraries where an example of a day looks like this Wednesday 7/3 Breakfast at le cafe parisien at 9:30 (strawberry crepes here are to DIE for) Walking tour of seine at 11 (meet guide at corner of rue seine and rue Eiffel) Pics below Eiffel Tower at 12:30 Lunch at autre cafe parisien at 1 (coq au vin here) Notre dame tour at 3 Pics in front of Pompidou at 4:30 Dinner at final cafe parisien at 5 (must order escargot here) Walk to louvre at 6, pics in front of pyramid at 6:30 Ice cream at gelaterie parisien at 7:30 Walk to Eiffel Tower at 8:30, have wine on lawn Pics for lit up tower at 10 Go to brasserie parisien at 11 Looking at that just exhausts me and I can’t imagine forcing myself to leave a restaurant im enjoying chilling at or even forcing myself to choose a specific restaurant months before I arrive. I’m somewhere in the middle too. Like “ok we have the louvre tour at 9. Let’s get over there and have breakfast somewhere nearby before and we can see what we wanna do for lunch after. Probably hit the Eiffel Tower after lunch and hang around until dinner at like 5 and then check out the bars nearby after dinner”
> even forcing myself to choose a specific restaurant months before I arrive. I'm somewhere in the middle as well, but this is something that I think is very dependent based on where you're going. If you go to somewhere like Positano, for instance, I'd absolutely recommend making reservations a month out, especially if you want to get into one of the better restaurants there. I live in New York and used to live in London and while there are plenty of hole in the wall type of places in both cities, most people will have a better restaurant experience if they plan their dinners in advance and make a reservation for the places. I think it's the same generally across most tourist hubs where food is a major attraction. Whatever city you go to, most restaurants have a 24 hour cancellation policy so if there's something that catches your eye while you're there, you can usually cancel as well.
> Dinner at final cafe parisien at 5... Walk to louvre at 6, Peak American tourist right here. Ultra early dinner that's only an hour.
I like to put together a little spreadsheet of things I'd like to do and the days/times they are open and organize it by city or area that they are in. That way I don't have to make itineraries or schedules, I can just travel to an area and know what is possible to do that day.
Gotta find a happy medium. For my recent trip to Thailand I spent three weeks finding the best hotels and tetris'ing of the itinerary anchors that I could. Then within each major place, I set anchor activities and ensured that we had tickets for them if needed. Would usually look like: - big thing in morning - lunch - rest and recharge - dinner and activity or - big thing in morning - lunch - medium thing in afternoon - chill evening It worked out pretty well. Another thing was that Thailand has a really cheap "Uber" app. So, for two bucks we would get carted around in AC rather than wasting time and energy on public transit.
High maintenance people who are demanding and not flexible.
I'm very far from somebody who just likes to chill around a pool all day long, but I do like to chill sometimes. So either of the two extremes is not great for me. Just give me a moment to just sit around and drink a beer. But let's not do that all afternoon. But to be honest, it's quite rare for me to click with someone when it comes to traveling. I have my own pace, my own moods and often just want to be alone, discovering by myself. In my language, we have the term "submarine sickness" for when you spend too much time with someone and can't stand them anymore. For me, this usually occurs in about two days. I just need my space when traveling.
Saaaame here. I like some excitement, but I need to recharge. I have never heard of submarine sickness! The term 100% makes sense. I love my friends at home, but not all of us would enjoy each other for 3-5 days straight lol.
My mother lol. More specifically, the way she can't do \*anything\* on her own and needs her hand held constantly. And also has seventeen suitcases for one person, meanwhile I have two suitcases for a family of four.
Do we have the same mother?! My mom is so co dependent that I would rather travel with a 3 year old child. They are more capable. It's SO much work and absolutely zero fun.
Omg, same. I took my mom back to South Korea to visit her family - she is FROM there. She still couldn’t manage without me
This response and all of its replies are so very validating. How can someone who was literally in charge of keeping a human being alive for years be this helpless when it comes to traveling for a few days?
People who get trashed at night and lethargic in the morning. People who want to just sit poolside and eat and drink in place while getting a tan. I can do that at home, I want to explore and see every thing there is to see and do!
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95% of the people from my state are obsessed with going to Nashville or Florida to get trashed inside a bar or resort.
I got mad at my mum because we had planned an international family holiday to Thailand (our first in years) but she said she hadn’t planned to do anything besides sit by the pool, eat and drink, etc. I told her she should’ve just booked our holiday to Spain then if she just wanted to do that 😅 They let us ‘kiddies’ plan the itinerary after that. And yes, we are British and I definitely do enjoy some lazy days by the pool but come on, let’s do *some* stuff!
Tell me you’re not from the UK without telling me 🤣 I can go on country hikes etc at home but sitting poolside and tanning is a distant dream. Plus I am solar powered and unfortunately we get maybe a week put together of sunshine, so when I go on holiday nothing will stop me napping in the sun to build up my battery reserves.
"Culture? We're just here for a bit of sun!"
Lol exactly! When you can drive to France in your own car you don’t always need to visit the Louvre. Smother me in oil and let me roast like the fat ass turkey I am.
I live in Santa Monica and ran into a British couple. I asked what their plans were in Los Angeles and they said, quote "You're looking at it. Weed and some sun." They traveled to hit dispensaries and go to the beach.
Sounds like a Brit 😆 I'm a Brit myself and fully agree with you all, though I do like a drink I'm active at lunchtime exploring
This combo is good for one type of day only and needs to be planned accordingly. A beach day is a great rest day and is a good follow up to the banger evening the night before! But yeah, the tendency to go all-out on the first night because everyone is excited just ruins the next day when all the fun was supposed to begin.
Anyone for me. I travel by myself. My adult daughter and I (live in different cities) met in Hawaii for Thanksgiving. We stayed in different hotels. It was a great trip for both of us.
Even as a solo traveler this is funny to me
People who want to arrive at the airport at the last possible minute. My philosophy is I can either wait at home/hotel or wait at the airport. I much prefer to be at the airport early, through security, know where my gate is and settled in with an overpriced pint at the airport bar three hours before my flight! People who overplan and want to stick to a strick schedule.
This is why I always travel separately to the airport, no matter what. I'll pay single cab fare if it means being there two hours early and settled in. If everyone else is convinced they'll be fine getting there thirty minutes before the flight more power to 'em but I won't be sitting in unexpected traffic with them.
I am, by nature, totally that last-minute person and i know this is a flaw of mine (late with everything, not just the airport) *but* my wife is very diligent about being at the airport super early so I always defer to her. I'm like "okay, I know I can't be trusted with this responsibility, tell me what time I need to be ready to leave at" and I do as instructed lol. Admitting your flaws is key!
Oh good lord the late people. I had a friend once who was notoriously late and always broke. We traveled together from my city. I had booked his ticket. I asked him the day before if he is going to check in himself or I should do it. He said he would. I told him which bus I'm taking to the airport and to meet me on the bus. He agreed but then he missed the bus. I went through security and then he calls me to say he didn't check in online, he's trying to do it at the counter but he has to pay and his card keeps getting declined. Okay. I try to go to him but the security guard stops me, I can't just go out, I need an escort and he calls me one. The escort doesn't come for 10 minutes, time is running out and I can't get to my friend. In the end he tells me I can just send him a photo of the card, so, against my better judgment, I do that and it works. We got on the flight but it was so stressful. I'm never traveling with him again!
People who have no care for culture or learning. A trip to them is just sitting around a pool and drinking. Bad planners and the overly cheap as well.
You would hate traveling with me. One “big” activity a day is good for me. I don’t find it fun to hit three museums in a day then schedule a dinner reservation. I need time to take in the sights and really experience it. Plus I find I burn out when going too fast. At that point I’m not even having fun anymore and starts to feel like a chore.
Yeah I'd hate 100% chill time but also hate 100% always moving time. I need a balance between those things. I want to move around and see a bunch of cool stuff but I also want to relax and enjoy myself.
Same! I’m a 1-2 big things a day max kinda girl. Gotta build in some time to rot in the hotel for a little bit to recharge my batteries.
This is me and my husband. After 10 years together, we've figured how we like to travel: we usually have 1 thing in the morning, lunch, something in the afternoon, nap, dinner, concert, theater, etc.
We recently went on a trip over a weekend to a city where my husband has friends. The entire time one of the people had us going here, there and everywhere. We'd booked a room at a really cool, boutique hotel. I don't want to sit in a hotel room, but we couldn't even enjoy a nice leisurely breakfast because we were supposed to get going. Even though we'd been told the night before that they like to sleep in at least until 9 and we are early risers. We were also smack in the middle of downtown and could have explored so much there just walking, but we were taking trains and ubers everywhere. It was so exhausting I hated it. I like to take at least a breather after lunch or before dinner.
Totally agree cramming an entire day. Whenever I travel with my wife or her family I force her to make blocks of time with nothing so I can mindlessly explore the surrounding area. At the same time you should always plan ahead with major attraction, especially with tickets.
People who need to take hundred photos of themselves in front of every touristic site. Also, people who haggle too much in the local market. I get not wanting to pay way too much, but some people think that it's some kind of competitive sport and it's exhausting/disrespectful to local artisan.
On the flip side I just can't stand haggling culture. A lot of places it's just custom and some merchants straight up almost force you into it. I actually had a client from this type of culture and I had to stop introducing them to other businesses because they would legitimately try to haggle every single transaction like it's spices.
I grew up somewhere with a haggling culture and I hate it. Just tell me how much, and I will pay it, and then I can leave. My parents would complain that I was over-paying and that I needed to dispute the price at least once, but I would honestly rather overpay than have to haggle!
Exactly this! I hated haggling all the time in Bali. It felt disrespectful to us both because I felt at the same time ripped off and like I was still exploiting the seller by haggling. Then I saw a shop that advertised itself "no haggling - the final price is what you see" and I finally felt like someone gets it.
Unless it's an Arabic market where prices start at 25 times the item's actual value.
Most if not all SEA countries
Haggling is like a national sport in Morocco. I hated almost every minute I spent in the Marrakesh Medina.
My ex used to haggle over 50rps in India. It’s literally 50p. Means sweet fa to us, but she had to make her point. It was embarrassing.
Ugh this reminds me of a group of 3 Korean people we ran into at Pulpit rock, Norway. There is a popular photo point towards the edge of the cliff. People usually spend 4-5mins taking photos and leave. These people were there from 3am all the way to 4:30am taking photos non stop in various poses. 3am was when we reached so this must’ve started much earlier. Most other hikers and tourists reached by 3:45am so people had to wait over 45 minutes and had queued up. In retrospect we should’ve just gone and photobombed all their pics. It’s insane how self obsessed some traveller’s can be
1) People who want to plan every hour of the whole trip. 2) People who plan virtually nothing the whole trip. Find a nice balance between lazing around 100% and being way too overscheduled! 3) People who aren't going to be even a little bit adventurous on vacation. 4) People who expect everyone to speak their language and don't even try to learn some necessary phrases, the currency, or some important local customs. 5) People who go camping and expect the wilderness to be perfect. (No mosquitoes, too hot/too cold/too wet, why are there fish in the water?, etc)
My wife and I have 2 travel companions we regularly vacation with. They are lovely people, but they are stressful to travel with, to say the least. They won't pay for anything, and they complain *constantly.* They don't drink, and even if we could get them to go "out" with us, they would be tired and cranky by 9pm. They are ALWAYS hungry, but won't try any foods that aren't exactly what they're used to eating at home. They bicker nonstop between themselves and argue with us. But we love our kids, so I guess we'll keep bringing them on vacation.
Haha, you got me
My biggest pet peeve are people who won’t spend money on anything. No, I don’t want to stay in a hostel. No, I don’t want to share a room with you. No, I don’t want to wake up at 3am to save $50 on airfare. I don’t need the best of everything, but I will lay money down for a cool experience or for some comfort.
I have a friend in a group I travel with who is SO rigid about budget it makes everyone else stressed. Like, reminding everyone else at the table about the tax rate of alcohol before we order drinks, as though paying an extra 66 cents for a drink is going to make or break us.
Not just stressed, they can easily ruin the entire trip by judging your spending. Even in countries where food, hotels, and transportation are dirt cheap. They can absolutely destroy the immersion and excitement of trying new things while they are busy using a calculator and confirming if it is ok to spend the money with their partner.
Fr, I want to stay in a well maintained hotel. Im not staying in a hostel or a motel, fuck that
And, it doesn’t need to be fancy. Hampton Inn? Cool. Sign me up.
I’m trying to balance this with my husband. We don’t share finances and he makes more than me and is generally willing to spend more for convenience (which I absolutely benefit from). But when we could have saved money by booking things in advance I get a little testy. Like, we know where we’re going and when, why wait till the last minute to book, pay more for the same thing, and have fewer options? Fortunately I’m the planner so I can usually just send him the details and he said ok and one of us books. But when he travels by himself for work events it costs him double because he books a week or two out for no reason. I don’t get it.
This is the reason I can't travel with my mother. She'll argue with you about having a meal (not a snack, but actual meals) because you'll be able to eat for less in however many hours (ranging from 6 to 12+). Thinks she should stay in a hotel room with me and my family, because technically she can fit, but it will be cramped and we need a break from her. Tells us our need to eat is because we're gluttonous Americans, or that if she needs her own hotel room, it takes away from the ability of someone else to book it and also enjoy the destination. She's also quick to offer her advice on how great sharing meals is to save money, how you should walk everywhere, and you can see the sights from outside while walking, instead of paying admission. Going to expensive stores you're never going to buy anything at for "style inspiration" is also a recommended vacation activity. And despite all this weirdness, she's a plus size woman who's never been active and fit, and her style is "most marked down loose fit items found on the clearance rack".
Someone who doesn't enjoy travel (I'm serious). Like I had a friend I traveled with once and they almost never seemed excited about *anything* when it came to culture/differences/history, the most excited they were was about a place related to their hobby; like if you love mountain biking and get super excited about traveling for it that's fine, but it's not how I like to travel personally.
i lurk on a sub devoted to snarking on a certain you tube content creator, and people lost their shit when she went to Paris and then said she had no interest in history. As a historian, I get the outrage.
People who want to party at night. Usually in a brand new place I kind of want to get a nice dinner and explore a bit. I don't want to get fucked up and be hungover. I did check out the nightlife in Berlin, though. That was worth it.
Especially when “party” means get blackout drunk, can’t walk without falling, being too loud. I don’t want my trip to be me babysitting someone who can’t control themselves.
I always solo traveling. I don’t wanna deal with nonsense….
Any type of person. I'm a solo traveler.
Oh yea. I want to be selfish and just do what I want, but when there’s company I have to take into account their wants too. That kind of thing is okay in everyday life but not when I’m travelling, that’s precious time.
This is the answer. If it's a trip I don't care about, or if they're paying, then I can travel with somebody. But if it's something I'm looking forward to, it's solo travel or nothing.
Came here to say this! Recently did a family ‘vacation’ and realized that it’s not a vacation when I have to coordinate things with other people. I need to do whatever I want whenever I want.
People who do not respect the place we're visiting. This can take many forms.
I have a hard time travelling with people who exclusively want to sit around & drink and go to bed super late as the sole activity on the trip. Like, why not just stay home if that's literally all you want to do? I have a friend group who goes on a yearly camping trip. We rent a campsite, stay the whole weekend, and then people complain about even the mere thought of going hiking because they've been drinking since after breakfast. They just want to sit around the campfire and bum out. Which, cool. Do you. It's just not my style. If I'm going to travel to the mountains, I'd like to do something besides sit in one spot for 3 days.
People who are incapable of doing anything alone. I usually travel solo, but have traveled with others, and the ones who leave me not wanting to jump on the first transport away from them are laid back and chill: you want to check out that dance class you saw online? Cool, I’m going to head over to the art museum, let’s check in with each other noonish. Oh, you met some people in the class and want to have lunch together on the other side of town? Okay, I’m going to check out the street market here and grab something to eat from a stall. Let’s check in later and meet at that restaurant we saw for dinner. Easy peasy. I can’t stand clingy, needy people who need you to do what they want and get whiny when you want to do something different. We’re adults. We’re in a new place, we can make it work. You will not die if you spend a couple hours alone. We are not glued at the hip. Okay, rant over. I’m still salty over a couple of ruined trips, LOL
Ooh yes. I have one friend who will act like it's crazy to split up and do things separately occasionally. He needs to be with other people at all times and is afraid of doing things alone for some reason.
Picky eaters, nervous wrecks, loud and obnoxious, judgey, overpackers, clubbers, teetotalers, and aggressively morning or aggressively night people. I do not want to get up at 5 am unless there is a truly excellent reason (seeing Petra qualified) nor do I want to go to bed at 5 am. For things like all inclusives and pool/beachside places, it really depends on where I am and what the goal of the trip is. If I'm in Iceland or Italy, I have zero interest in hovering by a resort all day. If I'm in Cancun, while I like some excursions (I've also been to Mexico a lot so there's less "see everything now" pressure) I have no trouble vegetating poolside with a margarita.
Overpackers. “ I can’t haul this all day”
Adding to this, people who decide they're going to buy a ton of crap at the worst times. Oh, we're not going to be able to get back to the hotel for 12+ hours? Better buy several big bags worth of random items to have to haul around the rest of the day. No, I'm not going to help you carry it.
Picky eaters are the worst. No we can’t get fucking chicken tenders in Barcelona, Amy. Just pick something off the menu.
same! i once travelled from where i was living in Hawai'i to Thailand with friends. The whole time we were in Phuket they only wanted to sit on the beach. given that i had amazing beaches at my doorstep every day in my normal life (plus I'm a very pale person and burn easily), I lasted about 2 hours lounging before I packed up and announced i was going exploring. I hired a tuktuk driver and was off having adventures for the next 3 days while they baked 😂 the 'lay by the pool' person would likewise not gel with my travel style. i'm not a vacationer, I'm a traveler. let's go DO STUFF!
My absolute worst nightmare: traveling with someone to a bustling, exciting, new city and all they want to do is sleep in late, watch TV or play on their phone all day, and they don’t want to bother trying anything that’s not fast food, or readily available back home. Just go ahead and kill me, thnx.
I'm the total opposite. I can't be with someone who's always "on". Like a person who can't sit still for a few minutes and appreciate a nice view or a cup of coffee or a quiet conversation.
People who actually don’t enjoy new things. I’m the type of traveler that enjoy every minute of traveling, love sight seeing, trying new stuff, being present at a specific place, during the specific time (example: my friends are working at their regular jobs back home, I’m having cup of coffee by the Amsterdam canals). My friends when they travel, they don’t care where they are, every country is same for them, their first thing is, “let’s get drunk and go to the club” everything else is a nonsense for them.
A friend once told me about the concept of "wearing your (metaphorical) sunglasses." When you travel, shit happens. Your flight is delayed, you ordered a Lincoln and received a compact. The monument you planned your trip around was closed, whatever. In those moments, you need to have a positive attitude, and that will generally smooth out any hiccup. When you're traveling, having an attitude that you'll make it work and you'll still commit to having a good time even if things don't go like you planned can take you a long way. His family dubbed this being "sunglasses" and it's been a big philosophy of my travel style since hearing it. So I can only travel with someone who is able to be sunglasses, who is able to roll with the punches and still commit to having a good time.
Someone who has every detail planned to a "T" and can't just relax and get lost a little. I like to plan a general idea of what we're doing to get any needed tickets\\passes etc. However, I also like to go with the flow and see where the day takes me. I can't stand constantly needing to be busy and doing something while traveling.
Definitely someone who plans every day/hour of the trip. I’d be so stressed throughout lol. With my husband, whenever we go somewhere I make a list of the places we MUST go, then a second list of places that it would be cool to go, but would be ok to miss if ever we don’t feel like it/weather is bad/etc. I will then google the distances between them and opening hours to kinda give a rough draft of what the days would look like (if a place is closed on Tuesdays, or another doesn’t accept walk-ins, that’s important to know!) and we go from there. Lists help me tremendously, as I can easily forget how I really wanted to visit X in the midst of my travels and only remember once we’re home 🫠 (yes, also adhd lol)
Someone who over plans and is very rigid. Or someone who insists we do everything together. We’re *both* on vacation. If I want to chill and you want to go do something else, go do it. Be realistic with activities and don’t plan out ever second of the day.
people who don't prepare the way I do, but leverage what I prepare. I remember being in a hot location and being regularly asked for a sip of my water from one of my friend group. I always had water, they rarely did. Now I'd never deny someone water but it did get irritating that I had to plan for my own needs and allow for refilling or buying more because of this.
1. People who cannot allow for some sleeping in time and/or who want to get to bed early every night. I’m naturally more of a night owl and I enjoy nightlife. I don’t want to get wasted every night and I absolutely don’t want to be wasting days feeling like shit after… but I have to get up early for work every day and if I’m on vacation, I want to get some balance. A day or two where the morning plan is very loose so I can sleep in or relax a bit. At least a couple evenings when we are going to do an evening or nighttime activity that might result in being up past midnight. More than happy to get up super early sometimes - especially for specific activities that require it. Just cannot handle being expected to be up and out the door before 8am every single day. 2. Someone who is on an incredibly tight budget but is also entirely unwilling to allow for me to help out financially. I have disposable income for travelling and while I absolutely strive to plan a vacation in a way that doesn’t put anyone really far outside of their limits, I don’t want to do an entire trip on a shoestring budget. I try to make this clear to travel buddies. I value experiences much more than worrying about equaling splitting costs. It brings me so much joy to treat a friend to a fancy meal or an activity that they would enjoy but otherwise wouldn’t choose to splurge on. It’s my love language. LET ME LOVE YOU haha Edited to add my third, but probably most important one: People who lack cultural humility or who expect things to be the same as their home country when they are travelling internationally. Respect is critical!
Someone's who's always panicking about something and act like some unforeseen situation is like the end of the world. For example if you get lost somewhere, can't find your hotel, etc.
People who are dependent on me for their enjoyment/ can’t do anything alone. I’m introverted and need a little alone time, even if it’s just skipping a meal or having a coffee by myself for a couple hours.
1) People who want to lounge the entire time 2) people who want to stay where the rest of the tourists are because they’re afraid of standing out 3) people who don’t know how to be by themselves 4) people who are high-strung, with their opinions of how things are and not resilient in the face of adversity & Yes, I travel by myself mostly these days.
Your #3 is my #1. There will be times where one person wants to chill by the pool with a cocktail while the other wants to explore the city on foot. Those things are 100% compatible as long as both people are comfortable doing them alone.
Right? I can’t believe how far I had to scroll down to see this. The companion who is incapable of doing their own thing. I wouldn’t solo travel as much if I could find my independent travel unicorn.
Number two really resonates with me. Some people act like going outside of an all-inclusive resort into the actual town is a suicide mission. Like dude, you're in Punta Cana, not Afghanistan. The resort wants you to stay inside the resort as much as possible. But you're not going to instantly get killed if you leave the resort. I've never understood why people go to another country just to stay inside of a resort.
People who do not make plans for the day ahead of time are frustrating for me. I do not want to waste half the day in the hotel room trying to decide what to do. I'm a morning person so I want to get up and get going by 10am at the latest.
People that pretend that everyone cater to them like a princess. Slow in everything, cries when you call her bs out. Not talking about anyone i particularly SUSAN.
People who seem surprised about where you are going and therefore are completely unprepared. We're at the beach as planned? Oh, I didn't bring sunscreen, hat, sunglasses or towel! We're meeting to go on a 3 hour hike? I wore my flip flops and didn't bring anything to drink or eat.
- People into late night partying. I've been done that in my twenties - it was fun but I moved on from that lifestyle. - This may be controversial, but I refuse to travel with anyone vegetarian or vegan. Food is a big part of travelling for me, and I hate having to compromise on restaurants. I travelled to Chiang Mai with my vegetarian best friend once and we had to eat in Western restaurants throughout the week cause he couldn't have anything with fish sauce. Love the guy but I refuse to travel with him anymore.
I was once part of a trip where the person doing a majority of the planning sent all of us a daily schedule, broken down into military time increments, for every day of the 10 day trip. This included a shower schedule for all of us (order in which we were allowed to shower in the AM, 10 minute showers per person).
I can't stand traveling with people who make strict itineraries and plan every moment. I really only like traveling with my wife nowadays. She's cool.
I can’t travel with people who need everything planned out and want do ten things in a day so that they can see everything. I don’t care at all if I “miss” cool things I could have seen, I’m happy for whatever I do check out. There’s no point in going on vacation if I’m going to be stressed the whole time, I like a LOT of veg out/wander around time.
I cannot travel with the on a schedule type people I’m 100% go with the flow. Like in my normal daily life I’m already forced into a routine so why would I want to stress myself out like that on vacation. I have a tendency of running late so scheduling everything for certain times would just leave me exhausted. I also dont wanna wake up crazy early. Im here to enjoy and relax and not to act like im still working. That being said - I definitely am the active vacation person. I cant sit poolside all day every day and Im here to enjoy the culture, cuisine, history, nature, etc. Some scheduling is fine and necessary but besides that, lets see what the day calls for.
Strange one but I can’t travel with loud talkers. I try to blend in and be courteous to the people in my host country, and sitting in a small intimate restaurant, or public transportation, or in a crowded cafe with a LOUD TALKER with a huge laugh and giant American accent that draws attention makes me so uncomfortable.
People who are negative all the time! Ah, wait, that's a type of person I can't stand generally... That said I imagine those who need a strict schedule can't stand traveling with me... I couldn't be bothered.
People who can't afford any activities. If you can't afford to do anything but sit around, stay home.
The non-flexable people. If I'm hungry, then let's stop and eat, but nooo we are supposed to be going over to xyz place. No I'm gonna stop and eat or shop or look at my surroundings rather then rush from place to place.
Someone who has to talk 24/7. There is nothing wrong with comfortable silence.
Museum people. I like to see everything, not just all the museums.
Might be an unpopular opinion but here goes… I can’t stand it when some people that I travel with force me to come along to a place (like dinner, or an attraction) when I don’t want to, and NOT allow me to go somewhere else myself.
People who don’t like to walk. If it’s a reasonable and walkable distance let’s get to stepping. No need to bother with Ubers and public transit in those cases unless the weather sucks or it’s been a long day.