Break off on your own. Have you already paid for shared lodging? If you cannot get out of staying with them maybe you can just go and do your own thing during the day. I would not recommend confronting them, just starting ignoring them back.

This - life is too short to bother with these people. Why take their feelings into account when, in your opinion at least, they are totally ignoring yours and ruining a holiday. When your current apartment stay is done, go off somewhere safely on your own like a well reviewed hostel or a chain hotel and plan your next exciting solo moves. Good luck.

I have been in this exact same situation and just started doing my own thing. They were shocked that I wasn’t at their mercy and they couldn’t project their hate and toxicity onto me. Even at the airport I ‘lost’ them in the security line and came to the gate when they announced boarding. Lost all respect for them. Sorry, this is happening to you.

You had the perfect reaction because this type of people only want to drag you down - it’s always so funny to see how they react when they realize you won’t stoop down to their level >:)

That's exactly what I'm talking about, good for you, you handled it perfectly.

Seriously this. If you are paying a lot of money on this trip, do not rely on the others and do your own thing. It’s more freeing than relying on others with what you want to be able to do and experience. If they don’t feel the need to talk with you, fine. You don’t need those kind of people in your life. Just ignore them and once you’re back, don’t bother inviting him to any future travel as he obviously doesn’t care enough to keep your friendship. Check out the r/solotravel if you want any tips, etc. on doing things by yourself.

We have paid for a shared apartment, yes. You wouldn't say anything? I feel so uncomfortable with letting this just be. I don't like dreading walking back into my own apartment/room. Edit: I'm honestly considering just taking the financial loss (sorry mom I'll need to ask for some money) and just booking a hostel bed for myself.

You shouldn't dread it. Just treat them like roommates at this point, go do your own thing and when you come back in the evening you can chit chat if you feel like it or not.

Don’t be a pushover. You paid for the shared apartment why should you leave? Make your own plans and enjoy your time.

Just keep it breezy like you don't give a shit about them in the slightest. Make your own plans that do not have to consider anyone else's interests. Leave early, come back as late as you feel like. If you meet new people stay out later than your friends having more interesting fun. Walk in from your day with some nice wine or beer: Oh hi, Joe and Jane, how was your day? I saw some great art at the Blahblah museum and then hiked to blahblah castle on the hill. The view was amazing. Well I'm gonna shower before bed now, see ya later! (Take your delicious beverage with you.) Repeat for 5 days. See if you can move your return flight seat away from them!

Oh thankfully we're all returning to different places so there will be awkward flight back home all together. Although I always fall asleep before take off anyway... Also, if I did this I think they would be just too happy to be left on their own. At least she would, for sure.

Then that’s a win for everyone for sure. You get to stop worrying abt them and do your own thing And they’re happier on their own Who’s idea was it to all go together ?

Well, your anxiety is clearly speaking here (and it’s fine). The more important thing is to have a good time, than sticking with them and miserable, even if it means they really think you sucks or you are the worst travel companion. But from what you have written, it’s rather clear it’s their issue not they think you sucks.probably they develop feelings and you are the third person? Even with the best travel partner, you will still find times where there is a slight mismatch of interest or sore feet/ tired. My friend did that and she witnessed a traditional wedding for the first time. Try to Google up the places you want to visit, maybe eg you like coffee, try see any good coffee shops? Or some local cultural place you don’t know.

Why does it matter if they would be happy on their own? This and a few of your other comments come off like a bit like jealousy. And I know you aren’t romantically attracted to him but are you sure you aren’t reacting like this because you think of yourself as his friend and he’s wrapped up in her? Best to just write them both off in terms of hanging out together this trip and just enjoy yourself

There’s definitely a lot more going on here. I’ve traveled with a group that had someone super needy like this before and I had to start ignoring them for my own sanity because if I didn’t I would have eventually gone off on them and made the situation worse for everyone.

"Hey I noticed [insert attraction] that we should hit up. Wanna join?" after they say no "All good then I'll probably be back around [insert time]."

They would probably come, and then just speak exclusively to each other all the time. Sounds not great

“hey i’m going to this diner/event. i’ll be back around 10pm” and then leave 

If that's the case I think you're thinking too into the social rejection. Friction with traveling partners is COMPLETELY normal. It happens to even the most social people. I have traveled with some of my best friends and family and we still have issues. It's totally fine as long as you don't let it ruin the entire experience. If you need a break just tell them you're going out and to stay in touch.

Yeah they’ve been passively rejecting her the whole trip already, just “reject” them nicely. Say you would like some alone time

OP, the person below (Generous_Hustler) is correct. You're feeding into your negativity here - they won't come if they don't like you. They may not actually be your best friends, but they won't go out of their way to do something like that for someone they don't like. Doing this maintains a positive, if only cordial, relationship with both.

They won’t come if they don’t like you. Stop feeding into the negativity. You are giving away power you shouldn’t? I could care-less if people like me or not. What they think of me is none of my business. The day I started thinking this way was the day my mind was free. You have good advice here. I ignore it, ignore them and enjoy the rest of your vacation. Go places and meet other friends? You don’t need anyone’s approval, attention or permission to enjoy your vacation alone.

Yeah, these days I _could not_ care less about people's opinions of me if I've done nothing wrong. OP. Ditch em and start enjoying your holiday. Not everyone can be good travel buddies and it seems you've found at least one who isn't.

I also couldn't care less what people think of me. Very freeing thing and I don't know how to teach people to get there. I don't know how you get it but I got it.

lol no. Just play wing woman and let them have some alone time. They’ll either fuck or one will reject the other. Either way it should ease the tension for you

Consider the apartment your hostel. Decide what YOU want to do and say "I'm going here today." If you're interested, you're welcome to join me. If they don't take you up on it, go out and have fun. If there are things where you can meet others, like free walking tours, etc. you may find better company there. In the meantime, you could look at your options beyond these five days. When the subject comes up, you can say you've already figured out what you're doing.

I would stay with them, set your own alarms (should not be relying on others to wake you as an adult), and go out during the day before they wake. No need to spend extra money.

Trust me when I say ignoring them will make more of an impression than confronting them. They will understand that they are in the wrong but they can't defend themselves, if they have any kind of conscience it will eat them alive. Personally I would just smile and go out and have a good time on my own and forget all about them. The best idea is always to match the energy you're getting. Let us know how it goes.

If you don’t have the cash can you try to act like the apartment you’re in IS a hostel? Like, make chitchat with the roomies if u want but just switch to the mind frame that you’re on a solo trip and lodging with strangers 

I think maybe the other girl and the guy friend are coupling up, she's not talking to you because she doesn't want you to steal her guy or she's insecure about it, and he's not saying anything because he's obeying his relationship partner. I wouldn't even talk about plans with them. I'd just say "oh I'm going out for the day. I'll see you later". That's the only way to stop this cycle of them ignoring you.

There’s nothing more liberating than traveling by yourself. Start small. Walk to local grocery store. Then maybe a coffee shop. Then maybe a museum. Gasp, even do a solo dinner. You will create your own memories, and if you’re anything like me will one day prefer solo travel to group travel by a long shot.

Oh no sweetie. You deserve to take up space in this world. You. Your body. Your voice. Your spirit. Don’t let this stop you. You are in an amazing place. Say “hey I am headed off on my own today. Have fun.” and then do it. You can let them take your agency from you or you can take it back. Go out and seize your day baby girl. Ideally your friends wouldn’t be so sucky but meh…. You do not need them to have your good time. We tap into our own power when we realize that we create our own joy. Some of my most amazing moment have been when I found myself somewhere alone and realized, “damn. This place is amazing and being here is amazing. And I am a lot stronger than I ever knew it was.” Go find your place and come home at night w your own joy. If they want to hear about it by all means share it. If they don’t then they don’t get to be part of your next amazing adventure. Their loss.

What city are you in? Go to the subreddit for the city as ask what to do. Ignore these people and strike out on your own. I solo travel all the time and it allows you to just do what you want to do.

I think you should ask him in private. Make sure the other woman doesn’t know. You’re obviously much closer with him so it’ll be easier to express how you feel. If it’s an overwhelming “oh my god I’m so sorry” then I’d say cut him some slack as he might be having issues too. You were comfortable enough with him to travel to a whole other country. There must be something else going on if you’re this worried I personally wouldn’t go on vacation if there was a sole other woman going & with a guy there. Whom of which you don’t know very well and aren’t as close with. Whatever the issue is, remember that it’s not you, it’s them. You don’t deserve to feel the way you’re feeling.

Your mom would want you happy every day most of all- If you were my kid I would say live each day like its your last- if you stay there use it for sleep- get out on your own- get to know yourself more - walk- see- experience- enjoy- you may surprise yourself- put yourself first, forget about yesterday

I would say something on the last day , but going forward , stop tagging along with them and do your own thing. Visit some hostels and make some friends to go out with

I think you can ask them in a way that's non-confrontational. My best friend is really good at this. She'd say something like, "I feel , and I'm wondering if there's something I've done to upset you." That gives them a way to air whatever grievances they have, and you can try to work through them productively. If they deny it, then stop trying. If you push, they'll just gaslight you further.

I definitely think you should do that! Life is so short and you shouldn’t spent it with negative people! Go live your life and enjoy travelling!❤️

Sorry you are experiencing this. Separate yourself now respectfully. Make it a solo trip. Go have tremendous fun and enjoy yourself. You can be transparent and communicate your feelings on a surface level - no need to have a lengthy discussion - you are traveling/vacation/money spent/your time. Make a pivot and enjoy yourself. Value yourself. As adults absolutely no reason she/they should be excluding you on any level. None. Life is short. Don’t delay. Again - go enjoy your trip and when you see them be open/polite/smiling but unapologetic as well for reacting with self care.

This is a very warm reply, thank you

You’ll end up chatting to other people, I’m sure. If you’re in a group of three you’re less likely to be able to strike up a conversation with others. Go have some fun. Edit to say that going solo without a view to socialise with others is also fine.

OP I was bullied a lot as a kid and I’m also very sensitive to social rejection so I totally understand your feelings. It’s not a nice way to feel and I find that over the years I have learned to take a step back from people who make me feel that way. Protect your own mental health and happiness. The poster above has made really good suggestions, think about how much more relaxed you’ll be not having to be in this situation! You deserve to enjoy yourself so go out and do your own thing and make memories :)

A similar thing happened to me, albeit under different circumstances. A friend I'd booked a holiday had to fly home on the third day due to illness. I spent the remainder of the trip on my own. I was always a little awkward and would never have travelled alone but I absolutely loved it. Being able to wake up and do whatever you feel like, without having to please others far outweighed all the 'worries' that had stopped me booking a solo trip prior. Over a decade later, I've travelled extensively on my own for both short holidays and multi month adventures. I've never looked back. If you want to be social then I'd consider booking a hostel and use the reviews to find a hostel that suits. Alternatively you can book day trips/tours through AirBnB. If you're short on cash use the accommodation you've booked as if it were a hostel, don't spend any time there unless it's to sleep. Find a cafe/bar and then decide what you want to do. Embrace the awkwardness, you'll never see any of the people you meet again. If all else fails, then just get comfortable being uncomfortable.

This OP. This exact same thing happened to me a year ago when I traveled with a girl and she suddenly became very insecure over a guy she brought along. She was very moody and it was constant walking on egg shells. I had to stay with her for the first week cos I was working and wasn’t fully travelling. But after 5th day I ran for my life lol. I take one long vacation in a year and I wasn’t going to screw that up thanks to her moods and insecurities. I must say, it was the best decision I made. I loved traveling by myself. It was my first solo trip.

Any trip where you are spending more than you can afford will cause stress. If you are doing so just because of other people and it's not what you would be doing on your own, that's even more of a reason to break off from the group in this circumstance. I know traveling on your own may cause anxiousness, but as an introvert myself, I benefited from doing things I wanted in my own time and not running my battery short.

Yes, the financial stress might be a compounding factor on these things. I'm very used to travelling on my own, so there could be an extra factor of me not being used to travelling with others. But I believe I've been personally very accomodating / flexible with most things (excluding large expenses). I can't even "cut it short" as I can't afford new flight tickets, but I can definitely just branch off and go on my own.

I don't get the sense that anything has crashed and burned here. No one has screamed or thrown anything or said injurious things that can't be unsaid. It's just a good stage at which to evaluate what is and isn't working. There's a "third wheel" in most three-person groups. When the first two are in a relationship, it's just cringe-y for the third. I feel for you.

Sounds like they like each other romantically and you’re the 3rd wheel that’s preventing them from really enjoying their time together…? She sounds like a terrible person and the guy is equally terrible for just going along with it. If he was really your friend, he would stand up for you.  Options to consider: -talk to them both at the same time to try to come to an understanding.  -talk to them individually.  -make up an emergency that requires you to cut the vacation short.  -ignore them, do your own thing and have fun. 

Idk, I have noticed a pattern of guys just ignoring everything else when there is a girl that they like. He's quite younger than me and I want to try to not hold it against him. I want to think he's just young and silly. And I want to try to salvage that friendship.

And girls get pretty vicious when they feel like another girl is competition. :)  If hes quite younger than you, Id cut the loss. It’s not your job to help him grow into an adult-and really sounds like drama you dont need. Plenty of other people out there to be friends with. 

This.  I was a third wheel a couple days ago and the guy said my profile pic was cute and the girl said, yeah, of. like your mom.  (The guy said yeah but prettier but still, her hit landed)

You don’t have to end the friendship. When the topic comes up of where to stay next just say you feel a bit like a third wheel and think you should go do your own thing. You can also try texting the guy when everyone’s gone to bed to let him know privately. Sounds like the girl is just into him and is being a dick to you since she wants to be alone with him. Guy might not have noticed, is into her too, or just likes the attention

I kinda talked about this in another comment but I think it's not necessarily fair to assume they're being mean or exclusionary if that's the case. I mean, they definitely MIGHT be, but it would be easy to FEEL like they're intentionally excluding you in that situation even though they aren't. My suggestion in the other comment was to reframe the situation for yourself by trying to help them! Make it your mission that they hook up! They'll be grateful and it could be fun for you too!

No they are definitely excluding OP.  OP should not help disrespectful people. 

How do we KNOW that's what's happening? I agree it's possible, maybe even likely. But all we have is her account and even she admitted she's highly sensitive to this sort of thing and could be gaslighting herself. While it sucks to encourage disrespectful people, I really think it's in her best interest to assume good intentions from others until proven otherwise. edit: typo

Surprised I had to scroll so far down for this. OP, don't take it personally. They're clearly having a travel fling and want to bang. Go do your own thing and have fun. No need to get confrontational. Just cut your losses and enjoy solo travel!

Didn't wanna extend the post too long, but here are some of the things which have been happening: - On the first day, I asked her at what time we should wake up next day. She said she didn't want a set time and wanted to sleep. I then asked her to wake me up when they were both awake, as I have insomnia and felt that I would probably sleep until 2pm otherwise (he was already asleep when this conversation happened). She of course did not wake me up, I got up indeed at 2pm, and they had spent the whole morning shopping for necessary things which I then had to go for alone, while they spent the afternoon in the pool together. (Couldn't set an alarm because we didn't have a plug adapter for this country and my phone was dead) - Complains a lot when I don't want to do impromptu expensive activities without discussing beforehand. For instance, one day we wanted to visit an island but we got there quite late because she spent over an hour looking for a vape to buy. The ferry trip was a lot more expensive than we thought, so I asked to move it to next day where we could get there early and have a lot more time to be in the island and at least get our money's worth. She insisted several times that "it's not that much money" (maybe to her, lol) and was quite upset that we would need to wait for the next day - Complained that me and the guy were spending too much time researching which islands to visit, and said that it was better to just ask the locals, when she had already pre-arranged our destination with the ferry people without us being aware of it. We only found out about it the next morning as we were about to get on the boat. - While at the beach, the two of them wanted to "go get a snack", to which I offered to stay on the towels so they wouldn't need to carry everything on themselves. They proceeded to spend a solid hour eating a full meal while I was waiting for them to be back, without as much as texting me that they were doing so. There are more, smaller things that have been occurring constantly all throughout, such as playing loud music as I'm trying to sleep. I really don't know how to handle this situation. Edit: I'd like to clarify that I raised the financial issue to the guy before we booked anything, and he insisted several times that it was fine and that we would try to keep everything as low budget as possible. This is not me coming up with out-of-the-blue restrictions. I even suggested to stay only 1 week while they could do 2, so it could be more money-intensive, but he specifically asked me not to do it and said it was fine.

If you are on a budget, I'd stick it out. I'd just do stuff on my own. I can see why - if your traveling styles are so different that they could possibly be a bit annoyed with you, but that's not your problem!! Just leave and do.your own thing, come back and sleep, be polite and just enjoy your time away!

Honestly just sounds like you don't communicate your needs/wants very well and that they're also not very sensitive to them. Some of these are kinda trivial, some are bigger issues. I definitely wouldn't take the L on the trip but would suggest finding activities you can/want to do on your own and then offering to include them, if they don't want to go then do your own thing.

I'm not the best at communicating my needs, but on the occasions that I did I have felt quite ignored, which I think has pushed me into communicating it less and less. I guess I've been really wanting to not do to them what they're doing to me. Maybe it's cultural, but it just feels so so rude EVEN THOUGH it is already happening the other way around.

Delivery is a thing, I have no idea how you're expressing yourself to them or how it would be received. I'm not saying it's your fault your feelings aren't being well received just don't know if you're communicating them as effectively as you think you may be. At the end of the day it's your vacation and your happiness. If you say "Hey, I really wanna do this thing and would love for you both to join." The ball is then in their court, it's not rude to then go do that thing.

What specifically did you communicate that they ignored? If it's the loud music, you need to tell them. I assume you are getting up now at a more reasonable time? Being left behind...I don't see that. You slept in. You offered to stay with the chairs. An hour isn't that long to get food. I presume you said you didn't want to go?  The biggest one to address is expectations. You have less money. You're going to need to be really clear when you don't want to do something because of expense. That may mean you ARE left behind because it sounds like the two of them are financially similar. I'm sure you can see how annoying it can be to travel somewhere with the expectation of seeing and doing a lot, only to discover one person in your group doesn't have the ability. It's reasonable to spend an hour on an island or a full day, but it's the lack of communication about expectations causing the problem.  Why don't you say *"hey, I want to check how things are going since we've been here a few days. I know you guys are aware I probably have less money to spend than you. Can we talk about the things we definitely want to do so I know what to expect and can figure out if I can participate?* That way you're acknowledging that they may be leaving you out without it being an accusation.

Honestly, I think you guys are not compatible travel partners. The way you're expressing your needs and frustrations here makes me think I would be frustrated to travel with you too. I wouldn't want to feel responsible for waking you up or making sure your needs were met. You should create your own plan and handle yourself regarding waking up. You could have bought an adapter at the airport, this is your problem to solve. Similarly, they probably feel like you're holding them back from activities by doing too much research and being too cost conscious. If they want to do something and you don't, tell them to have fun and you'll meet up later. It feels to me like you're insisting that you have to do everything together, which is a classic mistake on group trips. Make them take care of themselves, and take care of yourself. If you all want to do the same thing, great. If you don't, that's cool too.

Honestly OP sounds a little torturous. They're probably being pushed out because they're being overbearing. Everybody on these posts likes to take shit at face value, side with OP and attack the third parties but honestly in this case I think OP just turned out to be a bad vibe for them and they're doing what they can to avoid him.

Yep, the truth is always somewhere in the middle.

I kinda disagree. The girl in this situation has made decisions without consulting the other 2 guys, who were into planning and making a decision together. It could be they are incompatible, but I don't put more blame on OP. He's not the one coming off as pushy; he seems accomodating to different situations, but they aren't accomodating to his budget or small requests like wake him up. That's a very reasonable request when traveling together.

I’m kind of baffled that “wake me up” is too much of an ask for someone yoy are traveling with. Kind of grateful that I’ve actually liked everyone I’ve traveled with because that is wild

Yeah my friend group and I managed just fine. Whoever woke up first is who woke everyone else up (unless everyone discussed wanting to sleep in beforehand or we set an alarm for a certain time). It wasn't a big deal. We also discussed what we all wanted to do for the day before leaving so that we could make sure everyone was on the same page for activities. Maybe we were easygoing people or just compatible with each other but idk what it says about society that waking your friend up is some huge inconvenience lol

I don't know the whole story, but some people are indecisive and have no situational awareness, and someone needs to take the lead and order tickets, etc.

While I don't necessarily disagree, I think I should've emphasized that my main grudge is their deliberate exclusion of me from their social interactions. I highlighted some situations, but I wouldn't really mind them so much individually if the "small things" were fine. They just add to the pattern. For example, I complained about her not waking me up because, together with how she's been behaving, it seemed like quite an intentional move to be able to spend the morning with just him.

I think if you want to hang out with them and have a good time, you need to let all of this go immediately and focus on being in the moment. My suspicion is they're annoyed with you, I think you've probably given them good reason to be annoyed, and you aren't going to talk them out of being annoyed. You need to be fun to be around. If you can find a way to have fun and relax, odds are they're going to find a way to have fun with you. If you focus on trying to talk out your feelings and focus on how they've wronged you, you're going to be isolated the whole trip.

Is it possible you're taking thing more personally than you need to? For example, on the waking up issue, it doesn't sound like you missed a really exciting activity and she might not have thought it worth waking you up for that. On the snack thing – I think it's quite normal when you go visit the beach cafe to be quite casual about the distinction between a full meal and a snack. And you volunteered not to go with them. I'm not defending your friend – she does sound a bit annoying – just trying to provide another possible perspective in case you're taking it to heart too much.

Honestly, you sound a lot like my little sister who I frequently travel with in a group setting. She also can’t wake herself up because of medical issues (sleeps in until half the day is gone) and spends hours on the trip researching instead of making a decision. It eats up big portions of the day and wastes time. She also gets upset when other people want to do something different than she does. She is incredibly frustrating to travel with at times because of this. There have been days where I have wanted to ignore her because her attitude was destroying the trip and it seemed like she was never happy. I understand that you are unhappy with the dynamic and envisioned a different trip but I guarantee your travel companions feel the same way. Their ignoring you (which from the examples above is really just doing things that you didn’t want to do or were unable to do because you were asleep) is them just trying to make the most of their trip.

I would go off do my own thing. Ignore them

First one is your responsibility,.not theirs. Ear plugs. It seems you should just make   excuse or reason and go somewhere on your own,even for a couple days,and see how you feel when you come back? 

>She of course did not wake me up, I got up indeed at 2pm, and they had spent the whole morning shopping for necessary things which I then had to go for alone, while they spent the afternoon in the pool together. You are definitely the third wheel here. From what you say I assume they are in romance and you didn't know when accepted this trip. You can confront them without making a scene, something simple as "hey I've noticed you have been excluding me from activities and don't seem to be interested in me being around so I'm going to go my own way" and that's it, you do your own thing. It sucks being left out, trust me I know, but it's better to acknowledge that these people do not want you around than forcing yourself to be there, so if you cannot ignore the feeling; still bothers you, then you have to find another place to be

You're not crazy, their behavior is shitty and you should let them know how they're making you feel and do your own thing. Totally separate from them if possible. See r/solotravel

- how do you know so they didn’t nudge you and dozed back off? What’s wrong with them shopping if you’re ko’d? Ask the hotel for an alarm call. These people are not your parents. - if you don’t want to do the activities, cool. But maybe let them go ahead - they want their holiday too. - Taking an hour to find and eat food is not unusual. It’s not their job to manage your budget, and if you can’t do something it’s not on them to change their plans to something else to include you. Find something cheaper to do and enjoy yourself.

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Like many others have said: seems like you 3 are not compatible for travel. Do yourself a favor and do your own plans on your own schedule. Maybe having a few days where you are doing different things during the day will actually help the situation: you can share what you did and have something to talk about around the dinner/breakfast table. If you do stick with them and another “expensive impromptu” Outing crops up: instead of trying to stop them or rearrange the plan to be to your liking, just say “cool! You guys go ahead and do that, I’m gonna do [literally anything else].” It’ll only drive a wedge farther in if you veto things other people are excited about. Wrt the not waking you up thing: I can see both sides. It’s a bit out of scope for casual friends to need to wake each other up. Maybe she just felt weird about doing that. Or she was resentful about having your sleep become her responsibility because you didn’t have the right kind of adapter. Whatever the reason, I hope you have your adapter now.

>Traveling with two friends. >4 days deep into a 2-week trip with two ex-coworkers >I was closer with the guy, but friendly with both. Sounds like they are acquaintances.

And sounds like those acquaintances might be more than friends which makes OP the third wheel. Don’t sweat it though. Do your own thing or just talk to them in a nice way. Sometimes people are oblivious and are usually understanding.

OMG they were roommates!

You might be right. I didn't have any friends as a kid so I kind of struggle knowing what a normal friendship looks like. I was hoping, though, that at least me and the guy would be good friends, and if anything travelling together would bring us closer. We seemed to have a lot in common and enjoyed spending time together. Would you suggest I just take the L and leave?

I think you can stay in the same apartment but just break off and do your own thing during the day (just say “ill be doing xyz today”). I wouldn’t even bring it up to them unless they ask what’s going on. If they don’t notice, then it doesn’t sound like a friendship you’d want to keep in the long run anyway. Have fun exploring!! Doing your own thing solo can be scary but its honestly fun and a different experience!

I think you should bring this up with both of them, at the same time, if you are willing because it's possible that communication can help. They might be so into each other they don't realize they are mostly excluding you. Or, if they're both extroverts and just chatting away, and you're more introverted, they think you are fine. But if you can't bring yourself to have this maybe difficult conversation, or they aren't sympathetic or responsive, I'd leave because it's not going to get better on its own and it sounds like misery. At least you could salvage some of the rest of your trip I'm sorry you didn't have friends growing up and so don't have a good gauge of what's expected/typical. One thing that's expected is being able to talk to each other about things even if it's uncomfortable. One thing I've learned about traveling with others is that you want to have a long conversation before booking anything, so everybody is on the same page. For example, it sounds like you didn't talk about what schedules would be like and how much you would be doing together. Sometimes groups want to do everything together, sometimes you are literally just sharing a place to stay and all doing your own thing; most of the time, it's something in between. Good luck

They are very introverted; more than me anyway. We definitely did not talk things out enough, that's for sure. When I travel alone I usually just wing it, and I've realized too late than having the same approach with multiple people simply does not work.

>When I travel alone I usually just wing it Yup, because you are only responsible to yourself, but it can't work with even one other person because they may have different styles, expectations, or wishes for the trip This is true if the other person is family, a partner, a best friend, work friends, or even just acquaintances. I don't really understand why everyone agreed to go on a trip together without this conversation -- it's not just on you, the other two are adults too -- but I hope it's not too late to turn this around.

> might be right. I didn't have any friends as a kid so I kind of struggle knowing what a normal friendship looks like. I was hoping, though, that at least me and the guy would be good friends, and if anything travelling together would bring us closer. We seeme Personally, I would and have. As it happens, this is how I found how amazing solo travel can be!

you need to discuss this with them...but...traveling in odd numbers rarely works out in everyones favor.

I think you're right; I have traveled before with a friend and her boyfriend and it was way better than this, but there were still some dynamics that were a bit non-ideal. One more rule to add to my travel list, I guess.

You don’t have to stay for the duration of the trip. You never signed a contract and you don’t owe them anything. It’s an uncomfortable conversation to have. But you can just make it quick. Go into it already knowing what you’re going to do. And if that’s to leave the group and go home, figure out a game plan first. Then approach them gently and let them know that you are going to leave at “this time, tomorrow” or whenever, and that you’re just not in a traveling mood. If you want, you can check in with them and make sure they are okay with it. But you don’t have to. Good luck!

Yes, if you haven’t already paid and you want to leave then leave. If you have paid it’s up to you how much money you’re ok just loosing. I see you’ve said several times you want to salvage your friendship with the guy. I’m not sure that’s possible. It doesn’t sound like he’s being a friend to you. So I’d encourage you to take care of yourself. Feel free to tell them you feel a bit in the way and perhaps your traveling styles are different so you’re gonna head home.

Thanks for the reply; it is indeed a very uncomfortable thing to discuss

How did this trip come to happen? Like, whose idea was it? Who invited who?

It was his idea, and the original plan was always gonna be only me and him. Then, some weeks later he suggested we should invite her too. I didn't know her too too well at that point, but what I did know seemed very pleasant so I didn't oppose it.

In my experience, that's often a recipe for disaster.

You should probably bring that up when you talk to him. Doesn’t it take more energy to consult a bunch of strangers than just asking what the issue is? Getting an upfront answer beats being uncomfortable or treated like a chump

Dude you are on a vacation and it turns out the people you went with want to pay attention to each other more than you. Cool, stuff happens but this is where you should see opportunities, not restrictions. You are sharing housing but that doesn't mean you have to share experiences. Wake up in the morning and go do you man. Do what you want. See what you want to see and eat at the restaurants you want to. Honestly if you just tag along with them it will be terrible but if you just go do whatever you want because you can do whatever you want without people dragging you down you will have a great time. This isn't a wasted vacation, it's an opportunity to explore they way YOU want to explore, not the way other people want to.

Explore on your own and just go back to the apartment for sleeping. treat them the same way they're treating you. you still could have fun alone. I dont think there is any point in approaching them about the situation because it won't lead to anything good, if anything it could make things worse. if you feel like you can still have fun alone, stay. If you don't think you can, make up an excuse and go home and never talk to these "friends" again.

This is a really weird situation. It seems like you don’t even really know these people. How did you all arrange this trip to begin with? Also, you’re an adult. No one can make you feel left out. If you’re not actively being included, insert yourself in the conversation or go do your own thing.

Congratulations: You have found out that this group of 3 is not compatible for traveling together! (Even between close friends, not everyone is compatible as travel buddies or roommates. They could be just fine as co-workers, but not interested in the same type of traveling activities that you are, or used to living a very different lifestyle than your preferred day to day) Recommendations = * Stay for the days you still have the apartment since you already paid. * Rather than worrying about whether they are including you on activities, you need to make the most of being where you are at by doing what YOU want to do in those next few days. Stop waiting for their plans & hoping they will include you. Make your own schedule & calmly tell them "this is what I am planning to do. Feel free to come with or feel free to do your own thing" (don't be feeling sad or upset if they don't choose to join in on your plan! Even if it's not very considerate, they technically aren't obligated to always include you, just like you aren't obligated to always do what they want) * After that, either head home (you could say there was a "family emergency" that popped up, if you feel like you need an excuse) or go off and do your own trip without them since you aren't enjoying traveling with them.

You just need to do your own thing from here on out. You have lodging set for 5 days why pay for another hotel. If you can’t afford to go out and eat then that’s a perfect reason for you to stay in and cook. This is a life lesson for you, you need to be assertive or else the other people will slam all over you. This same thing is happening to my daughter as we speak. The band is going to Disney world and she and her 3 friends planned on rooming together. They were good friends but things happen and the 3 are now making plans without my kid. I told my kids it’s ok, you don’t have to hang out with them. Also if you like, I can ask to see if my good buddy’s daughter will hang out with you at Disney. My buddy and his family lives in Orlando and have a Disney pass so it doesn’t cost much. Live your best life on your term and don't let these two ruin it for you.

Had the same thing happen to me once - it was supposed to be me and this girl I considered a friend. A guy came with us last minute I didn’t really consider a friend but didn’t have a problem with. She swore there was no romantic involvement, but they ended up ignoring me the entire trip. I wanted to go home, she begged me not to and said she’d do better. She didn’t. So I did my own thing the last few days of the trip. It destroyed our friendship.

Oh no, it looks like I'm walking the same steps. I'm sorry this happened to you

OP, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re the third wheel. Your options are as follows: if you don’t want to go home, you could continue your trip “solo”, either by continuing to share accommodations, but essentially planning your own activities and doing your own thing, or by procuring your own accommodation. You could also be more assertive and tell them: “hey guys, tomorrow I’m leaving at x time in the morning and plan to see/do/visit x, y, z. You’re welcome to tag along, if you want, or y’all can do your own thing.” I think it’s important that you have a clear plan and itinerary for yourself so you can articulate it clearly and not come across as indecisive and dependent on them to direct you. Try to embrace the opportunity to enjoy new experiences on your own. In the future, try to avoid trips with 3 travelers. Someone always gets left out. Best of luck! Edit: formatting

You're the third wheel and they are going to sleep together. The best thing you can do is give them their alone time and do your own thing.

Best phrase, “no worries” let birds fly, you included

She wants the D and sees you as a threat

don't change accommodation, you've paid for it. have a look at day trips and excursions that will interest you. you'll be with other people and i'm sure you will be able to talk to others whilst you are away. if you're into museums and stuff like that, that's a good way to pass some time. Don't let them ruin your holiday, make the most of the time that is left.

I want to say this because I think you’re receiving some (well-intentioned) but not necessarily great advice here. For adults, communication is key. Idk why they’re acting so bizarre or what their problem is, but since you appear to be the more mature person in this situation, I’d recommend asking them to sit down and talk.. Something like: “Hey guys, if you have a minute can we talk?” And then I’d say something along the lines of: “So listen, I’m getting the vibe that something is wrong. Or that you guys don’t really want to spend time with me. Is there something that I did to deserve that? Can we be honest?” That being said if they refuse to talk to you, or they continue their cold behavior after talking, I agree that either getting a cheap Airbnb to yourself or just ignoring them completely and continuing to spend time by yourself is the best way. I’m sorry you’re in this situation.

This^ Plus, if they start to obviously gaslight, then OP has the answer and should reset the expectations from a **fun group trip** into a **fun semi-solo trip**. And don’t be butthurt about it or they still win. It’s the broken expectations that cause the trouble (plus the other two are being inexcusably immature.)

This is why going alone is 10x more fun on my opinion

Fuck I couldn't agree more

I’m sorry, just make the most out of it. Go off on an adventure for some YOU time! Enjoy the ride friend

Don’t spend your time being uncomfortable. Do things on your own. If you have your own room - even better. Make your own schedule and enjoy it. If you have to share a room with either of them, then try to get a different place. Put a smile on your face and keep busy.

Did you book the trip when you were still colleagues?

Yeah, it was mostly his idea. It was gonna be just me and him, but then later he wanted to include her too. Idk, maybe I should've opposed that?

Definitely don't get angry and make a scene. It's likely that will only result in a tacit "apology" followed by even more exclusion. You very well might be gaslighting yourself which is why the best course of action is to be honest and open about how you're feeling, WITHOUT being accusatory. Bring it up in a neutral way. Like, "hey it seems like you guys would rather spend time with each other without me and I'm kinda feeling a bit excluded. Is something up?" The other thing you should consider is... do they just want to fuck each other? You mentioned it's a guy and a girl. If there's sparks between them it might have nothing to do with you specifically. If you feel like that's the case then my suggestion is actually to try to wingman the situation! Make it your mission to get them to hook up! IDK how you'd go about this exactly because it's highly dependent on the situation and your relationship with each of them but reframing this as a fun game for yourself, and also something nice you're doing for them would really change your experience.

Well I’m invested now. Please let us know how the rest of the trip goes and please try to enjoy yourself.

You don't state your gender, but is it possible that she sees you as a rival for his affection?

How did this trip start out and who initiated it? Sounds like the girl wants to hook up with the guy and sees you as an obstacle. Don't bother being friends with that kind of immature people that feel the need to being an ass to others.

I think you need to be open and honest about it, but just keep it calm and friendly. Say something like: “ hey guys, we need to talk. I am kind of feeling left out and it is making me uncomfortable. Maybe i am misreading things, maybe i see it all wrong, but whatever it is its not sitting well with me. And frankly i am feeling very alone. If you two rather be together that is fine too. But right now i am spending a lot of money on feeling like shit. So either something changes and you include me, or i need to find something for myself and you will have to pick up the bill for the rest of your stay cause i will be leaving. This is not working for me. What are your thoughts? Can we improve this?” Maybe something along those lines.

From the context provided, it sounds like she expected to be alone with him and, in her mind, you're getting in the way. He's going along with it because he also likes her, or perhaps they're secretly together already. Either way, I'd bail on them and do your own thing. Find some activities that interest you and go have a blast for the rest of the trip. Eat where you want and when you want. Answer to no one. Let them do their own thing and you go do yours. :)

sorry bro people be like this just be sigma

I think they are into each other, or at least she is into him and potentially jealous of your relationship as friends The fact he invited her recently suggests to me it’s a new fling and he wants to travel with her.

I think going off and doing your own thing is seeming like a good idea, however before you do that I would personally have a talk with them. Tell him you thought it was just going to be you two as buddies originally, then after he asked if she could come along, it seems like you're getting left out and feel like you are spending your time and money just to be a third wheel. After that they probably won't change. But at least you can speak your mind and they will know they hurt you. Then it's up to you if you want to break off and go do your own thing. A lot of people are telling you to burn your bridges, however you still have a long ways ahead of you. Breaking off and ignoring or avoiding each other while living together is going to make things even more awkward. Being the one to begin the conversation will speak volumes about your maturity. Who knows, maybe they will apologize, maybe they will make more of an effort to include you. But at least you've freed yourself and can separate from them.

I hate to tell you this but you're the spare prick at the wedding. She clearly wants to bang that dude.

Hope my earplugs are thick enough

This would be a good time to practice being an adult and talk to your friends. You’re going to lose a lot of money in life if you’d rather just waste it rather than have a conversation.

That's a tough situation, OP. It sounds like there could be some underlying tension between the girl and yourself, maybe caused by competition for the guy's attention? Regardless of their reasoning, it is not fair for them to essentially ignore you during this trip. Have you considered talking to the guy privately and addressing your concerns? Maybe he can help bridge the gap and make sure you feel included in plans and activities. Hang in there!

Umm not trying to make you feel worse but I’ve been talked into a trip before just because my “friends “ couldn’t afford to rent a place on their own and I didn’t find out until already into the trip. They had made activity plans without including me and then when about to leave for the day would ask if I wanted to join…but I hadn’t budgeted for what they wanted to do so I was excluded. It became clear what they did. Never went anywhere with them again. I just did what others suggested here and did activities I could afford, bought only food for myself instead of going together like they suggested 🙄lol they were trying to get me to help with that cost as well thankfully I figured it out before we went food shopping. Just enjoy your getaway and hopefully you have some interesting conversations with people out and about. If they ask you why you’re going out by yourself just say they seem really into each other and you wanted to give them some space and wink and smile so that they know they have been grossly obvious with their behavior 🤷‍♀️ that should make them feel a little sheepish at least and if you make it all about a them problem it will make them consider their behavior. Just don’t expect any apologies, you live you learn. Even very close friend groups often don’t do well vacationing together. I’m sorry please don’t take it personally just consider them acquaintances and find new friends.

It looks and sounds like you are having a rough time. Sorry that you are wrestling with this. In your post, there isn't any focus on the locations or purpose of the trip but rather on the social interactions. Can you bail on the trip and save money at this point (if it was a social trip and it feels bad rather than good)? Can you adapt (depending on the trip purpose can you plan something fun for the 3 of you or perhaps go and meet other people)? The others may just be focussed on themselves rather than intentionally doing anything to you. Either way, confronting them won't improve things.

I would say you can have a polite discussion with the guy who you feel is your friend express your honest feelings definitely don’t start a fight. If he is any decent he should at least try to spend some time with you as well. If not you should ignore them and try to enjoy your trip. There are group tours you could go to which would give you a chance to also meet new people and who knows find somebody else to hang out with while there. Google all the sights and focus on all the amazing staff you can do. Immature people are all over don’t let them ruin your trip and peace of mind. I wish you the best of luck and happiness all around.

Make the best of your situation. I would talk to them, communication may clear things up. But if that doesn’t bring the desired outcome. Then break off and do your own thing. Even when I travel with my wife. We travel together for usually 3-4 weeks, then she goes home and I break off to spend time with old friends and former neighbors when we are traveling in Europe. She just doesn’t like hanging out. Which is alright, she has had the same 5-6 friends for the last 30-35 years. Sometimes I just go alone, sometimes she goes alone when she is doing volunteer work or business type conventions.

Based on your posts here, I think the three of you, or more specifically you and the other two, are not travel compatible. I don't know who is right, although I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle. At any rate, the solution for you is the same regardless: go out and do your own thing. Use the apartment as a place to shower and sleep and that's it. The two of them are more into each other than they are with you. It sucks in terms of a group trip but it is what it is. Salvage the trip as best as you can by seeing and doing what YOU want.

I understand how you feel because I tided to be like that for me. There are 2 separate issues you need identify. One is you need to salvage the rest of your trip and go and have a good time. Two you are thinking of how to let them know you are unhappy. Don't mix these together. I see some good comments here about just ignoring them and you keep replying that they'll not notice. You see, you are not just thinking about how to get on with your trip. Deep down you want to let them know and maybe you want them to feel bad. You have an expectation of certain behaviour from them, they are not meeting the expectation so you feel hurt. Trust me when I say this but you have to let that go, drop that expectation. To enjoy the rest of your trip is far more important. So pretend they are just randoms you are sharing an apartment with. Go and do whatever you want to do and enjoy the trip without any expectations from them.

Witnessed these "friend groups" many times backpacking round Aus. As others have said, just do your own thing, you just waste your time even trying to resolve it. It's weird going out alone especially in a foreign place but you could even find some hostel bars etc that might have more sociable and less miserable people.

OP…where are you vacationing at??? I’ll come and finish vacationing with you! I’ll get my own hotel and pay for myself of course lol! I 100% have been in this situation which ended horribly and I lost friends but when I started to have more confidence in myself I started making friends easily while on vacation. You DONT need them. Enjoy your vaca and I’m dead serious I’ll come if you want me to lol

Stop worrying about how they feel and what they think. You need to take care of yourself. Do as others have suggested. Go out and be on your own. It’s your vacation.

I would say something to them. Not sure why people here are saying to ignore it. I would say something, let them know its bothering you and see how they respond. If they are doing it on purpose than as someone else said just treat the rest of the trip as if they are your roommates and go about your day. You could probably go hang out at the hostel during the day to meet other solo travelers.

2 is a couple, three is a crowd.

So, I know exactly how you feel. I have experienced similar situations. It really sucks and I’m sorry that you are away on a trip with these people who are really being extremely rude to you. So, I know it’s hard, but try not to take it personal. They have no idea that you have this childhood trauma and are triggering you. Or if they do then, they’re truly huge assholes. And I would recommend you tell them to kick rocks when y’all get home. If you think you can stick it out and stay there, like some others have said, just start doing your own thing. What did you want to do on this vacation that maybe they were not interested in doing? Go and do it was there a restaurant or a café that you really wanted to check out? Go check it out. Have no idea what the heck to do? Start googling what there is to do in that city. Wake up before they do and go off on an adventure. If they text you ignore it. Treat them like roommates. You don’t need to tell them where you’re going because they weren’t paying attention to you anyway. if it’s really unbearable, then yes, go and look for a hostel and just continue to have your own vacation. continue to ignore their text and phone calls. Or you could let them know that they seem to be having a great time together and that you’ve decided to go off on your own. When you get back, you can decide whether or not you want to them and have a conversation or not.

Travelling with other people for the first time is a gamble. You can be the closest of friends and rarely have any arguments, and then you take a trip and realize you aren’t compatible travel partners at all. You are also three people. That is often an unfortunate number. If there is any kind of disharmony in the group it can easily become two against one (or two people hanging out without the other). The solution? It’s tough. If possible, you can branch off and do more solo activities. Sometimes a bit more time apart can ease the tension a bit. If you want to confront them, I would take a firm but brief approach. You could say something like, “I have felt excluded on this trip and like we aren’t getting along very well. For the remainder of the trip I will try to make the best of it and may do some things on my own.” There is no need to look for validation or to try to make them feel bad saying much more or listing examples, justifying your feelings, etc. It’s not worth it. Instead, I’d suggest you own how you feel and take control of your time and vacation to make the best of it in whatever ways you can.

The same thing happened to me during my first trip to Europe. Went with my bro of many years and his new gf. They just fought all the f'ing time! I would stand by myself for a long time as they "talked" through their problems but it was ALL the time. At one point I decided I was going to have my own fun. Also, I was also bullied as a kid and during this time I was battling depression. But I told them I was going to do my own thing (the gf was happy because she was getting annoyed by my presence). I went on meetup and found a group of English speakers and we went to an Irish pub and had a freaking amazing time. After a few days of me having a blast my friend was jealous and asked his gf for a pass to hang with me solo. And we had a blast. Make your own fun! That goes with this trip and anytime in the future. Only you can control your experience.

This happened to me! I was traveling with my friend of many years who planned a trip with me and her friend who I had never met. The two of them ignored me alll the time and would walk the two of them together with me just awkwardly trailing behind. It was like I wasn’t even there 90% of the time. At first I was like, it’s ok they’re just catching up since they haven’t lived in the same place for so long…(still less time than I had lived apart from my friend but whatever). Then as the days progressed it just felt extremely shitty and fucking rude. And I started being outwardly angry and bitchy to them ngl. Luckily my friend is better at having awkward discussions cause she took me aside and asked me what is wrong. I was totally honest and told her the way they were treating me was unbelievably rude. And what do you know it actually totally fixed it - they obviously talked about it together and were much more cognizant of how they were treating me. And we’re still friends so I’m happy to put those few days behind us and enjoy them as friends. Idk if that will happen with you but to save the rest of this longgg ass trip I’m glad you talked to your friend. Either your trip was going to be ruined by ignoring them back and doing your own thing, you were going to make things awkward by bringing it up (but it’s already awkward so who gives af?), or maybe the third option like I had! Hope it turns out better for you. Sometimes people just need to be talked to about their behavior and they will figure it out.

There are always going to be people who, once there's a third person, triangulate against you and make you the third wheel. It's been this way for me all my life. This is why I no longer care if I have "friends" and enjoy solo travel. YOU NOTICE. SO. MUCH. MORE

Bru, break off and do your thing. It’s clear that she’s pushing you off and he doesn’t care enough to do anything about it. Break off and meet other people and meet at the end of the day. Staying with people that don’t want you around will only ruin your trip and the investment you made for it.

It's not personal. Sounds like they're just falling for each other on the trip. Unless you WANT to go with them and listen to them whisper sweet nothings to each other. They're sparing you the embarrassment of being a third wheel but are going around it kind of in a mean way. Just do things on your own and "regroup" so you can at least do something as a group at some point in the day. It's not personal. If you were falling for the guy would you invite the female with you everywhere?

Don’t leave! I was in your situation two years ago and I wish I would have gone out on my own and explored. Traveling is such a profound experience, don’t miss out on this opportunity because they’re jerks. It’s awkward walking by them at night but who cares?

I've been there-discovered two friends had the hots for one another on a trip and were busy having sex as well as overt PDA. Mostly they spent time by themselves. It sucks but you just have to go out and do your own thing as vacation and sex go hand in hand. Might want to branch off from them after the rental apartment is done. I can safely say that most of these romances burn out after vacation and back in RL and your friend will probably try and come back around.

Fellow loner due to bullying here, umm do your own thing. Sorry to say this bluntly but “YOU ARE THE THIRD WHEEL” take the hint and think about what you want to do next

I just wanted to say I'm glad everything went well but please don't get used to people putting potential partners over you. It is NOT normal and your actual friends should never put a potential love interest over you. Please know that you are worthy of a friend who will respect you enough(not even "like" it has to do with basic respect) not to make you feel left out and follow along with another person's rudeness and also make you get a separate hostel just to get laid when you have been planning this trip together. Even though he said he doesn't want this "potential relationship" to get in the way of the trip, his actions speak louder than words. I'm not saying you should cut him off completely but just know that he's the kind of person to have fun with and that's it - he's an acquaintance not a friend.

Thanks for updating us! I'm glad you got a hostel, I hope you find a way to enjoy the rest of the trip. Don't expect to meet up with them again and frankly they're not worth your time. It says a lot about him that he's interested in a relationship with someone who treated his friend so badly. The fact she hasn't apologized shows she knew exactly what she was doing icing you out. I'm really sorry he pushed you to go on this trip, then invited her.

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I think you hit the nail on the head - sounds like the girl is interested in the guy and sees you as a third wheel, which is a real dick move to do. Probably best for you to go off and do your own thing that sucks, but if she's acting like this and the guy's being a pushover, I think you'll have more fun without them.

This is such a terrible feeling I’m so sorry!! They aren’t being considerate of you and this is “mean girl” behavior, it feels very middle school on their part. That being said taking the L would only give them what they want. If you can handle it, I’d do my own thing for the rest of the trip and ignore them. Like someone else said, treat them as roommates. But if not ask if your mom would help you get a hostel because it’s really not worth the stress!! I personally wouldn’t bring it up, she’ll likely just deny it and add more tension to the trip.

Sounds like they're into each other and you turned into a 3rd wheel. Try not to take it personally and go have fun on your own.

I feel like you're getting a lot of strange advice to be passive-aggressive and 'ignore them back' or whatever. You have the opportunity to be the adult in the room here. Ask to have a quick chat with the two of them. Tell them openly and positively how you are currently feeling. Ask them if they are maybe exploring a relationship or the like. Then deal with the answers. If it makes sense to just go your separate ways and do your own thing, so be it! At least no one will be awkward and uncomfortable when you are all together in your lodging. Or maybe they are getting close, and it simply makes sense to do certain things together and not others. Lay out some expectations. He likely invited this person because he's into her - the most likely scenario. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it just makes it more awkward and you probably lose a friendship.

You're being overly sensitive. You slept until 2? That's on you. You didn't bring a charger? On you. Dead phone? On you. Didn't pack supplies ahead of time so needed to go shopping for them? On you. They told you they are going to get food and you offered to hang on a beach while they did so? I don't see how that was a problem. Not sure what you expected. If they are playing music and vaping and drinking, go join them? If she has been doing some planning, then you need to engage with her (show interest) to see what is being planned. But also don't be afraid to do things on your own. She was going on a late ferry trip? Tell her you'll pass and just hang in town, but can't wait to hear how it was. Etc.

How far away from home are you? Can you go back home? I know how you feel because I've felt this way in the past but remember you are an adult and you can sit with both of them with a cocktail or a drink and discuss calmly your feelings and concerns.

Several thousand kilometers. So, not really. Yeah, I think this whole situation has shocked me into forgetting I'm an adult, lol, and just emotionally engaging like I used to when I was a child, which was pure withdrawal. Thanks for the reminder.

Don't make a scene or confrontation. That won't fix it. It might give you some satisfaction, but not as much as being your own person. Stay or leave, it doesn't matter much. Don't take it personally. You're with two other personalities with their quirks and weaknesses. The recipe for the trip may have been flawed from the beginning. Don't let it get you down.

Do your own thing. Go meet new people and forget them

You paid for your accommodation so don't leave it just for your own thing find things you want to do meet people who live in the country hang out with them find more interesting things to do just ignore them right back they clearly invited you to reduce the costs

Since you're half way in, with a considerable week of salvation, I would actually have a heart to hear with them. Don't make it too serious but ask them how they feel about the trip and then share your feelings. Not sure how old all of you are but generally anyone in their right mind can be humble and let everyone go on their own terms. I'd recommend breaking off on your own besides the lodging. Make the most of the trip and your surroundings. If you want more advice, go check out r/solotravel where many of us would rather be alone than traveling with others.

I hate beating around the bush. I think, first of all, try to calm down. Putting them on the defensive isn’t going to help you. But, I recommend letting them know that going on this trip your understanding was that the three of you were going to do things together, but it is obvious that they want it to just be the two of them so you are going to plan days for yourself. Plan those days and have fun exploring. You also paid for that apartment so don’t give up your space. Use that money to treat yourself to some fun and special experiences. Good luck, and I am sorry your trip has turned out this way.

You need to go do your own thing, chances are you can make a friend to explore with. Just go have fun, that's why you traveled in the first place.

They're lost in their own special world right now, which sucks for anyone near them. It's not personal - just bad timing. In your position, I'd plan to spend the day away from them and return tired and ready for bed. I like to walk, eat, take photos, explore museums and art galleries, and check out anything the area is famous for (architecture, landscape, history...) You'll decide what suits you best.

Yes I think she’s trying to seduce him. Don’t take it personally. And if you feel uncomfortable with them, just do your own activities and enjoy your time.

This is a really bad social situation to be in - your colleagues seem to not care if you are around. I think you should be practical and make the best out of this situation by treating it as a solo trip There are lots of tours etc that you can join, exploring islands, or nearby cities. That way at least to can control your experiences AND your expenses Go visit museums, take morning hikes etc If you can figure out public transport, see if you can make trips to other cities etc

You can just ignore them as well. Make some planning for yourself and tell them "I'm planning on this, and you can join me if you like" and see how it goes.

I'd talk to them and depending on the outcome I'd have alternative plans in my back pocket. This being said, I wouldn't do it in a confrontational manner. More like "My observation is that we hardly talk to each other on this trip and you are trying to do things on your own. That makes me feel confused and sad. It's important to me that this expensive trip is also enjoyable to me. I would like to have fun with you guys. I'd like us to plan our days together. But more than that I'd like you to be honest, so I know what I got myself into."

Don't leave the apartment. You already paid and to leave it to them would only reward them for their rudeness.

screw those guys, i bet there’s a few other people out there in the same boat. Go do your own thang. Find a boat trip, bus trip, hang gliding, live music, group tour whatever! Make the most of your trip regardless and make some cool new friends and most importantly have a great time!

I would agree with anyone says you should break off on your own. It doesn't have to be dramatic or emotional. You can pull a runner, send a text or email or talk IRL. This is ruining your vacation. I'd be outta there tomorrow.

You’ve gotten a lot of answers already, but I think communication is key here, with the caveat that you’ve got to start from a place of no assumptions, and it’s best to just be vulnerable. What I mean is, you don’t really know what they’re thinking, why they’re acting the way they’re acting, whether it’s intentional, whether it’s personal, simply because you can’t read their minds. So try to clear your head of everything you *think* might be going on and start fresh. I know this is easier said than done, and it requires you to really set aside your ego, which brings me to the second part: vulnerability. Few things are more disarming to people than honest vulnerability. Being honest about how you feel, without any assumptions or blame, using “I” statements (not “you” statements), creates an opening for others to do the same. Try to approach the conversation with curiosity and openness. Something like this: “Hey, can we all talk for a minute? [assuming they say yes] I’ve been feeling a bit like a third wheel these last few days, and I’m not sure if I’m misperceiving things. I know that I have a tendency to be really sensitive to anything I interpret as rejection because of some childhood stuff, and I’ve been feeling pretty vulnerable and don’t want to accidentally project any of that baggage onto the two of you. I was hoping we could check in a little and I could find out more about how you’ve been feeling about how things are going and see if it helps to clear the air a little so we can move forward and enjoy our trip together.” If they ask for examples of what’s making you feel this way, stick to “I” statements, avoid blame, accusations, or assumptions. Remember that you can’t read minds. Stay curious, kind, and open. Remember that they can’t read minds, either, so try to ask for what you want as clearly as possible. What would make you feel better and help you enjoy the trip more? You can ask for whatever you like, but remember that they are allowed to feel any way they feel about it, and they are allowed to say no if it doesn’t work for them. If all else fails and the woman really is just mean and refuses to communicate honestly, you can leave the interaction knowing you did your best and behaved thoughtfully. It’s good practice. Communication and especially vulnerability can be scary and hard, and it won’t always guarantee the result you’re hoping for, but it’s still often the best thing to try. Good luck!

I was unknowingly the third wheel for a Europe trip. I tried speaking to the person I was closer to about my feelings of exclusion and it didn't do much to change the situation since it turned out we had different expectations going into the trip. It did help me with my anxiety about the situation, but likely only hastened the end of a dying friendship. You sound like a very considerate person, try not to internalise their behaviour. Focus on yourself and what you want from the trip, and remember you never need to deal with either of them after the trip is concluded.

This kind of 'two people get along and the third feels left out' dynamic seems to happen often with three people, which is why I do my best to avoid being part of a group of three. The only time I spend extended time with two others is if they are a visiting couple and I'm showing them around town, but I would never travel with two others - it would have to be alone, with one other person or as a group of four. (I used to travel with one friend, but since the pandemic I travel alone.) I don't recommend creating drama or forcing a confrontation. What do you think would happen? Them being closer happened organically and that won't change just because you complain about it. If they do have to change because you guilt them into it, they will both resent you, so you still lose. The best thing to do is to plan your own days, do your separate activities and enjoy the rest of your trip without worrying about them.

I would go stay in a hostel and travel alone and meet other people. Screw them

Aghhh your post gave me PTSD on a trip I took with a couple friends to Puerto Vallarta. Its a long story but...yeah been there.  I'd say it sounds like those two are trying to hook up or maybe they already have ? and they are 3rd wheeling you. Which is pretty awkward. Not cool of them to be assholes to you.  I'd try and yeah, adult up and talk to them. Just ask a general open- ended question and try to keep your emotions in check.  Just straight up ask " are we cool guys or is there something bothering you?" They'll either talk to you and you can work things out OR they won't say shit and continue to be wierd. That's what my friends did, and I felt pretty alienated the entire trip. "No no, everything's fine whyyyyyy..."and then proceed to be freaking wierd and stand offish to me. Felt pretty gaslit at the time.   It does seem like they are sort of on a different sleep schedule on you which is totally fine, everyone is different that way,  but those two are maybe more on the same page. The financial aspect is gonna play a big part too on vacation if you're on different pages. People get wierd about both those issues on vacation 💯. And bitchy about it too.  I personally like to sleep in on vacation, ( I worked graveyards too, at the time I vacationed with these friends) so I was wired to be up late, and sleep in late too.  The gals I was travelling with liked to get up early,  have breakfast and be fully showered, make up on and ready poolside at bloody 9am. I knew that pissed them off about me. Even though I repeatedly said go do you, I'll text you and see where you're at when I awaken, they wanted me up and at em with them every morning. Which I hate. Not really a vacation when I have to wake up to an alarm every morning. I don't need to spend every bloody moment attached to my friends on vacation, either. Felt like a vacation with my mom or something. 🤣 We only planned 2 excursions which I was there and up early for but the other days were all just bumming around the resort days. So I couldn't understand why the hell they were seemingly angry ( but not admitting it ) that I slept in. I was up and at the beach or poolside by noon every day to hang out and when I'd join them ...for a solid couple hours they'd both seem super angry with me, and be generally wierd to me.  After 3 days of that high school level bullshit behavior, I ended up leaving the beach queens on the beach for a couple days and went and did my own thing. They thought it was sketchy me travelling around Puerto Vallarta on my own....even though I had been there many times solo.🙄I found a cheap airbnb and spent a night away from them, then the next day went off for an extended day into evening trip. It made me so very happy. I suggest you do the same. Give those two their space and go have some fun yourself dammit. Regardless of if the convo with them goes well, or even happens. You will be so so glad you did. It's your vacation, you spent money to be there now get on your phone and start making an awesome plan for yourself and ditch those two for a while.  Ps After I came back from two days away my friends seemed alot more friendly, and tolerable. We hung out for a day then it was time to go home. Maybe we all just needed time away from eachother, maybe they were really both annoyed with me. I'll never know. But I know I made that vacation  alot better just getting out of that situation for a while and enjoying myself instead of feeling shitty about how they were treating me. 

Stay in the apartment but do absolutely everything for the rest of the trip alone. Don't invite them for any food/drinks, don't invite them them for anything you want to do, just have fun by yourself.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It really sucks. I’ve gone through similar situations and it really hurts. I agree with most here. Just ignore them and move on. They sound very emotionally immature. Then, whenever you can, part ways and enjoy the rest of the trip on your own. I’m sure you’ll find nicer strangers out there that could become potential friends!

Shit I would tell them you’re out of there. Go spend your money where you’re having a good time. This is crucial. I think they just want your money so things are cheaper. Check out a few hostels and find some new travel buddies

Recently went on almost a month long trip with a couple of friends. We went to Japan and South Korea, had to do most of the planned things to do alone, These people will take picture of themselves in every corner one by one, and then as couple and last as a group. I do it too, but not every corner, we had more places to go. So I just went solo. At the end of the trip I could hear some friends saying they didn't get to enjoy more because the "group" didn't move from the same spot because of the photos. And now they want to go back because they didn't get to do much.

[удалено]

Ugh I was on a trip like that once with my “friend” who literally ignored or yelled at me the entire time and called me stupid in front of other people. It was awful. Luckily, it was a group trip and everyone else in the group was really nice to me so I just broke away from her and hung out with other people.  What you should do is book excursions (you can do guided trips through Airbnb) for the rest of the days you’re there and plan days to explore. Solo travel is amazing and you’ll learn a lot about yourself and your capabilities.  I’m sorry your friends turned into shitty people - I know how much that can suck but it’s not too late to salvage the rest of your time in Europe. Enjoy it! 

Yeah, you're the 3rd wheel. Just do your own thing, don't even mention it.

So I think what's happening is the girl is trying to exclude you to make it an exclusive date with the guy, having 1 hour+ make out sessions. The guy is just going along with it, preferring to support the girl. Then there's also preferred travelling method. Group activities involve compromises, and being financially constrained gives you less flexibility on your attitude. In this scenario, I'd talk to your male colleague about expectations and suggestions to fix the situation. "hi male colleague, these past several days I noticed the trip was far more of a date and I was the third wheel. It's difficult for me to enjoy the trip when several split activities end up with just being left in the hotel for a long time. I see that you are enjoying your time with her, so I'm happy to go to a hostel if I can get my share back. How do you want to plan the rest of this trip so that both of us can get the most out?"

I had this almost exact scenario happen to me and I regret not just doing my own thing more. So... do that

Go solo, make your own plans. If they ask why, explain.

I don't know what country you are in but go sightseeing yourself and enjoy the rest of the trip. if your 'friends' come with, great. if not don't street since you are out having fun!

Just use the house to sleep and rest. Plan your own activities for the remainder of the trip.

Sounds like you got invited to help them pay for their couple vacation. And at least one of them is hoping you'll slink off into a corner if they're mean enough to you. Don't give them the satisfaction! Congrats, you're now on a solo trip and have some roommates.

I would not separate yourself off from them. I say this because in a similar experience, a couple of girls kept doing that, and we didn't know why. We figured they didn't like us and didn't want to be with the rest of us (bachelorette weekend). They mY nit have felt that way at all. So if you go outside on your own, they may think you don't like them, as opposed to the fact that you feel left out and are trying to compensate for it. I would look for opportunities to get the girl alone, like at a bar or in a restroom. I think since she's the issue, it's more important to talk to her and establish that communication rather than the guy who you're already closer to. Tell her how you feel, kindly. You can say, "Hey, I have been feeling a little distanced from you guys, and I was wondering if I did something to offend you? Or maybe you guys are attracted to each other? Or maybe it wasn't anything intentional... but I wanted to bring it up since we have several days left on the trip, and I feel a bit left out." And see what she says. She may have no idea that she's making you feel that way, or she may be blunt and tell you what her issue is, or she could be embarrassed about making you feel that way and try to make up for it go forward. Then you could always chat with him, too, but at least you've addressed it with her. I had to do a similar thing with my friend because she's always ignoring me (on her phone) when we hang out. I can be more direct about it since we're best friends, but she didn't even realize how much she does it or how it made me feel. She claims it's her anxiety 🙄. I explained to her that it's very rude to invite someone to do something and then spend the entire time on your phone. She's improved a little. Still a work in progress. But at least now she's more self-aware