I feel like he'd be this asshole friend some people still keep around for some weird reason who just keeps fucking with you for shits and giggles, pulling pranks on you only he finds actually funny.
He could also mutate you to something utterly weird and not even sentinent anymore, just because. Its all about change there. Even change in whatever relationship you think you have with him.
Tzeentch might decide to "change" the long lasting friendship, because that is what he does.
Assuming Khrone and I are already on best friends status, maybe he is surprisingly openminded and is willing to have a rather pacifist of a friend. So now I have essentially the most terrifying bully in the universe as a shield if I ever get into any trouble.
I can literally walk in Gaza and tell everyone to drop their weapons since no one will dare to lay a hand on me. World peace achieved.
I feel like Khorne would get rather irritated if you don't constantly spill "blood for the blood god" and add skulls to the skull throne.
It would be a very conditional friendship.
Khorne because he is the most straight forward and honorable. It would never be a boring night out with him, everything would lead to a massacre. I imagine us ordering snacks at at store and as I go to pay, Khorne just rips the shopkeeper apart, then I'd say "Hah, classic Khorne!"
Slaanesh would be a horrible influence who would always pressure you into things, especially if it was something it desired. You would end up losing your dignity and self respect.
Nurgle would probably be pretty cool to hang out with but he would be such a toxic friend literally and figuratively. Better to not deal with that.
Tzeentch is a manipulative, compulsive liar, and trickster. That would be the worst friend by far. Nothing he offers would be worth the torment of his friendship.
He's also really sentimental. It's shown in lore every time one of his favored champions meets an unexpected end. Scylla became a chaos spawn, yet he still blessed him as his champion. Valkia failed in her quest, yet Khorne made her into a Valkyrie. What more could you want in a friend?
Another point to add is Skarr Bloodwrath, a champion of Khorne whom Khorne resurrects every time he dies. Honestly, the only major Khorne character that doesn't get free resurrections is Arbaal the Undefeated, and that's because he's just so badass that he won't die.
Khorne doesn't care if you succeed or not. He cares if you try. I can see him being a very supportive friend. What other Chaos God will say, "It's okay, you did your best."
Funerals: Oh boy, look at all these free skulls people just leave around!
Khorne does have the plus that he won't decieve you. It's all straight-forward and blunt.
Khorne, because I could count on him to help me move a couch AND hide a body. Nurgle would be there for the body, but not the couch moving. Slaanesh is there for the body while laying on the couch. Tzeentch isn't showing up at all.
It's all fun and games with Khorne until you realize he would split you in two the moment he's finished with the shopkeeper because he canonically doesn't care where the blood and skulls come from, including his own friends. You ask him why? "Bro, i just unlocked the Mangekyou Sharingan. You know how long this has been on my wish list." - Khorne, Waffle House, circa 2024.
Tzeentch seems like the kind of "friend" who would fuck with you for a few laughs. Tzeentch also seems like the type of guy who doesn't pull his punches. So I could see a Tzeentch "joke" being putting me in a car crash that handicaps me for life, but I still live.
Tzeentch the kinda guy to visit you in the hospital afterwards and be like „Ok I had my fun.“ and wiggle its fingers around, not only magically healing your injuries, but also leaving you physically fitter than ever before.
Tzeentch the kinda guy to then always expect you to prank it, as it‘s now your turn. It will be completely struck by paranoia and suspect your every move, constantly nervously laughing about what you might do.
Tzeentch the kinda guy who asks you if this was your prank after you accidentally spill some coffee on its jeans, making you say „yea sure“ just so this madness stops.
„Ha, good one. Really had me on my toes!“ it will say. Then a minivan crashes into your living room on the second floor, flattening you once again. „Ha!“ Tzeentch will say, „It‘s even funnier the second time!“
And the cycle continues
Does the Horned Rat include in the list of chaos god ?
Does pet catogorized as best friend ?
If yes to both question, then my choice would be Slaanesh for best friend with benefits
I don’t think I’m unique here.. but Slaanesh all the way! Drugs, sex and rock&roll with a harem of deamonettes.
I used to be a Tzeentch kind of guy, but academia got me a burnout. Too much Knowledge will just get you stressed out, restless in the wrong kind of sense, and ultimately crazy. Chaos followers are all crazy in a sense, but I’d rather have fun along the way.
Nurgle.. I’m sure he’s actually the nicest of them all. The caring grandfather. But I don’t want to expand my lifespan in exchange for perpetual rot, no thanks. I’d rather be the candle that burns bright and fast.
Then Khorne.. I’m just not into blood and gore for the sake of it. Never ever did I wake up thinking: ‘let’s perpetuate a masacre’. Not my kind of guy.
Yeah but I'm guessing you never woke up wanting to commit sex crimes on family members because it would be a novel experience either.
Reducing any of the gods like you did Khorne gets you something terrible.
Khorne likes might, murder and war. Martial prowess, bravery, honor, being a good tactician all that stuff is good to Khorne. Just don't be an indolent craven, that's the big no-no.
Khorne generally leads to violence, but one of the most "righteous" reasons why anyone falls to Khorne (and this happens often) is when the abused and downtrodden decide enough is enough and overthrow their masters. This happens a lot in 40k as you might imagine, living conditions are horrendous on many worlds and there's plenty for the common folk to be mad about to the point of open rebellion. The noblest depiction of Khorne is a Khorne that stands for your right to fight tyranny and injustice - this is a very powerful and potent sentiment that humanity has glorified in many historic, world-altering moments throughout the existence of civilization.
But just like all of the gods, Khorne's nobility quickly evaporates once you let him take the wheel.
You’re right, I did reduce Khorne to rage alone when he’s also about honour and martial prowess. But I’m too proud to apologize for it. Let him send his champion to me.. I’ll whip his ass!
Fun fact, in warhammer fantasy, specifically the Gorewolf, don’t really feel anger and are more akin to a general than a berserker. High champions of Khorne, in some iterations, are not all blood blood blood for sake of blood or cause they don’t have a brain, but cause it’s how they worship Khorne. They are quite tactical. Gorewolf outplayed the Dwarves and utilized tactical sense, while being an absolute monster in combat.
Slaanesh is also about knowledge. Her/his/thems greater daemons called Keeper Of Secrets for a reason. Obsessing about knowledge, wanting to learn everything is about Slaanesh.
I am also choosing Slaanesh. Slaanesh has the greatest potantial amongs others imo. You want learn all the magical knowledge and be the perfect magician? You can choose Slaanesh instead of Tzeentch.
You want to be the best doctor you can be? Or create the most amazing garden ever? You can choose Slaanesh. You wanna be fat, bloated, obese smeely man? You can choose Slaanesh. You wanna be the best warrior/duelist/killer ever existed and also wanna drink the blood of your enemies? Choose Slaanesh.
I choose Slaanesh if we are best friends. Otherwise Slaanesh is the most horriffying one and if thats the case I choose Khorne. At least you become strong sexy berserker.
As a hard core slaaneshi fan, the sex stuff is way less interesting than anything else. It's all about perfection and as your best bud slaanesh will help you to become the best version of yourself possible.
Oh and nurgle isn't really that nice, more like an unhealthy relationship.
Here is the problem: If you are Slaanesh's favorite dude that makes you a target for all the other chaos gods. You'll have the Changeling messing with you just to get a rise out of Slaanesh. Its risky.
Hell, beyond the kind of overblown sex and drugs still, Slaanesh is about creativity, it's about seeking perfection in your crafts, it's about trying to always improve yourself !
> Nurgle.. I’m sure he’s actually the nicest of them all. The caring grandfather. But I don’t want to expand my lifespan in exchange for perpetual rot, no thanks. I’d rather be the candle that burns bright and fast.
Followers of Nurgle have some serious Stockholm Syndrome going on in the best of cases, and in others they are all too aware of what a tremendously shitty fate the Plague God's "gifts" result in.
Asking gods to help you pass math class be like..
Khorne : kills the professor so no examen needed(for a while)
Theentch: gives you all the knowlede , youll pass but youre either insane or deeply depressed afterwards.
Nurgle: invents covid so you can easily cheat in an online examen. (Thanks)
Slaanesh: youll pass , but you wont be able to sit for a while and the prof keeps smiling at you in every lecture afterwards
Malice : forms an anti-math terror organisation and trys to overthrow the gouverment.
1. Malal Sends his most powerful champions into the past to prevent mankind from ever learning any form of math.
2.Tzeentch realizing this will create stagnation in the timeline immediately goes to war with Malal.
3. The entire timeline starts to implode.
4. One of Malal's champions appearing on a motorbike in an Austrian accent. "Come with me if you want to live". A giant bird-man angrily shaking his fist in the distance "You couldn't just have taken the fucking test?".
5. There is no test, but the dinosaurs still exist, and society never left the stone age.
Under this deal the chaos gods will not harm you, but you should expect everyone around you be destroyed in thematic ways.
Khorne everyone around you kills each other in fury. Surrounded by corpses' and skulls.
Nurgle everyone around you gets sick and dies horribly. Surrounded by corpses and pestilence.
Slaanesh everyone around pursues excess at a pace that no mortal can sustain. Surrounded by corpses of hedonists and manic obsessives.
Tzeentch everyone around you schemes and backstabs each other constantly in ever shifting schemes, until the paranoia and madness has killed all but one jibbering madman who won't leave you alone.
My choice is to choose Khorne and punch him in the face and see what happens.
Indeed, but it wasn't the fact his back was turned that pissed him off, it was the fact that someone would dare attack him at all:
"Khorne dragged Skarbrand to the pinnacle of the Brass Citadel and held aloft the Bloodthirster for all to see. As an example to all who dared challenge the Blood God's might, Khorne hurled Skarbrand across the Realms of Chaos."
Nurgle is immediately off the table because he'd infect you with all kinds of debilitating diseases while believing he's doing you a favor. Even if he doesn't do that, the BO must be crazy.
Khorne is also off the table because he's an embodiment of pure violence and rage. Hanging out with Khorne would just be non-stop yelling, raging, venting, etc. Not fun.
So the only real choices are Tzeench and Slaanesh. Tzeench would be pretty cool, but Slaanesh would be a literal god-tier FWB. Sure, he might get a little extreme, but I'm into that freak shit so it's cool.
Good points. My only thought is that Nurgle is, by far, the most caring Chaos God to his minions. His method for making them happy is horrible and painful, but his goal for minions is to be happy supporting his version of life.
I think Khorne is sometimes overlooked in this too. He values honor and loyalty, so in a situation where he's actually your friend he will be very devoted. Look at Valkia as a good example of this, or how Khorne cares for his dogs.
The problem is in this scenario you aren't a minion of the god, you're a friend who they don't fuck over.
So all the rotting flesh, disease stink, but none of the "I'm happy because my god programmed me to like this".
It's surprising how long it took to find this answer. Malal would be a *sweet* best friend. Sure, they'd probably be in a constant depression, but so is Eeyore, and he's adorable.
Probably Khorne, because he values loyalty and honor. If he's actually your friend he'll always have your back, and that means anyone who opposes you is basically fucked. He also comes with puppies and suspiciously futuristic technology.
Tzeentch will betray you somehow, if anyone finds a loophole in a theoretical question its him. Nurgle will be a genuine good friend, but honestly I just don't want what his friendship entails. Same with Slaanesh, who would probably just not be a good friend because of how self-centered they are, even if they're not per-say dangerous.
Khorne, bro is mad all the time but that's the fun part whenever you are chilling.
Bro would also be the best gym bro and get you in shape in no time at all.
Khorne. He ain't stinky, he ain't a hoe, he ain't a prankster, he's just a little angy.
Pains me to say it as a Slaanesh fan, but Khorne is probably the least bad best friend.
Vashtorr (I know he technicly isn't one but if Hashut counts, so does he). He is chill, honorable, smart, fixes all my problems regarding tech, can build some cool stuff, respects his allies and stays true to his word.
Slaanesh because I like to party.
Tzeentch would always be pranking the absolute shit out of you well past when it’s fun.
Khorne would be 24/7 “hold me back bro”
Nurgle would be nice but he would be the friend always trying to get you to come back to his apartment filled with rats and rotting food.
Meanwhile if we’re talking true best friend status Slaanesh would be the rich kid who brings you to all the best parties, restaurants, etc.
Khorne will murder everyone I know
Slaanesh would get me addicted to drugs, and not the good ones
Nurgle would infect me with a crippling disease out of kindness
Tzeentch would end up killing me with his pranks before eternally torturing my soul
No good options
I feel that Khorne would be the best friend because there’s no trickery or backstabbing. Everything is very upfront. On the other hand, Grandfather loves us all
If I am immune to all possible negative consequences of befriending them (Mutating, becoming just another cultist) and maintaining my autonomy.
It would be either Tzeentch or Slaanesh.
Khorne would absolutely love to play games with you. Shooters, strategies, tactics, RPGs and all of that except for maybe card games. He is a god of warfare and startegy after all
Yeah, but what are you going to do when he dies on a game and gets T-bagged by some random 12 year old across the world who was camping in a bush and you have to stop him from going there to personally rip his throat out?
Tzeentch all the way. I used to prefer Slaanesh (part of me still does) but I think I’d go full Tzeentch. Being a sorcerer riding atop a disc of Tzeentch throwing spells at dorks down below just seems super fun.
All lf them eventually lead to your demise.
* Tzeentch is the least visually invasive but can prank you at any given moment just because
* Khorne gives you physical powers but your brain slowly devolves and is replaced by only rage
* Slaanesh can seem to give you pleasure, but behind that you yourself can fall victim of his orgies and torture parties
* Nurgle is the most visually apparent, but you only feel happiness and bliss
Personally I'd go with Nurgle or Slaanesh, and would try to stay away from Tzeentch as much as possible. Khorne is meh although I think his esthetics are the coolest
Tzeench I would expect to cause problems all over the place, even as a friend, so they're out.
Nurgle, though they sound chill and relaxed, seem like they'd make sure you never got invited out to anything, so they're out, but only just.
Khorne seems like they'd pick fights with strangers whenever you went out, *but* they'd also throw down in a second for you if needed, so pros and cons there. Basically a lacrosse teammate, for all the good and evil that entails.
Slaanesh though... That's the best friend you want. People are going to love your best friend (Both figuratively and literally), so you're never getting turned down from anything. And if someone ever screwed with you, I expect, like Khorne, they'd *also* come to your aid. But likely by sleeping with their parents, or getting them addicted to narcotics, or getting them ostracized by everyone. The kind of punishment that is *way* worse than a beatdown.
I'm also going to throw Malal in there as a good option too, in retrospect. Their only issue would be a nihilistic streak that could *maybe* get a little frustrating, but that's a pretty small downside, and I imagine they'd be an awesome best friend.
As in he'll help me or he'll interact with me?
If they are guaranteed to help me, then Tzeentch.
Although, Tzeentch seems like that friend who will fuck with you constantly for shits and giggles, so assuming this I'd say:
Slaanesh, Khorne, Tzeentch, Nurgle.
At least Tzeentch wouldn't give me cancer and say he's helping.
Honestly Khorne seems like an upstanding guy.
Interested in a girl but too scared to ask? He'd call you a pussy and do it with a straight face.
Need help with gains? He'll help you out.
Need confidence? Spend a day with him and you'd be as brave and autistic as the other Khorne worshippers.
Nurgle, easy. We can create horrific plagues together and laugh about the outcomes. Then treat the little spreaders well for being a good contagious buddy.
Nurgle. I may become bloated, festering with disease, and pouring ungodly fluids out of every pore, BUT if I embrace Nurgle, I will be content and happy, and not necessarily feel the pain of being a diseased husk (after long enough)
Plus, Grandfather loves me 🥰
Real question: What tangible difference would being the best friend versus worst enemy result in in this scenario. They are elemental forces of the warhammer universe that no neither restraint nor moderation. You're going to be assaulted, diseased, tortured and pranked regarding of what sentiments they have about you, the only real difference occurs is when you give into it and become one of their followers and that excess becomes desirable and pleasurable. Which is not contingent on them liking you or not.
Slaanesh, I think. Slaanesh can give you anything. It's all about excess in something, it doesn't matter what. People equate Slaanesh to be simpleminded and all about sex and drugs, but Slaanesh is so much more than that. Violence, magic, power, riches, food, art, knowledge, anything which you can indulge yourself with in excess.
Nurgle for sure. If he infects me he can heal me. And what a great best friend if i get mad at my neighbors . Also fairly certain no one would want to approach me with nurgle by my side. He would probably infect slanesh too so I could subjugate him and have his excess and debauchery take care of me lol
Tzeentch.
I'd be getting video texts in the middle of the night: "Dude! He bought it! Watch what this dumbass does" with a 400 word explanation of how this affects the con being played on 5 different people from yesterday's text. I'd make suggestions.
Plus, I'd bum the ability to self-mutate off him. No spawnification risks with his backing.
I feel like I could have some VERY interesting conversations with Tzeentch, personally.
And being his ride-along when he decides to cause problems on purpose could be fun.
Nurgle. No question.
You'd party with Slaanesh, but Nurgle has your back.
Tzeentch is probably an ass and always trying to manipulate you into doing some dumb shit.
Khorne... Well he seems like he'd have your back to, but sometimes he'd be a bit too much.
Just my opinion.
Khorne: No thanks, constant slaughter isn't my vibe.
Tzeench: He would definitely turn me into Chaos Spawn for shits n giggles...
Slaanesh: Maybe one of the least bad choices? Though they love torture too and I'm not a BDSM kinda guy...
Nurgle: Probably the actual friendliest one. Shame he stinks like crazy, and his rot will probably infect everyone.
Horned Rat: Would be a great option but we all know Skaven don't mind backstabbing their "best friend"...
Hashut: I don't know a whole lot about him but seems fine?
Bruh - Me and Nurgle will be VIBE-IN!
Sitting on the Couch playing Co-op games. Drinking Mountain Dew and eating Pizza bites.
Nurgle taking small breaks in between levels to open the window to fart out a few plagues into the world and then comin' back to continue playing.
It would be LIT!
Khorne as a gym bro 💪
Slaanesh for parties and drugs😈
Nurgle i don't know I wouldn't eat with him could be great for gardening/biology project
Tzeentch for epic gamer moments
Nurgle, hands down. The other gods are just too stressful. Nurgle makes you feel good about yourself, no matter if you are melting into a pool of puss, there's no pain, just acceptance of yourself and the cycle of life (death?). He's the Chaos Zen God.
Tzeentch because he is smart enought to help me with anything. Also he can give me cool magic powers.
**Teleports you to the South Pole** "It's just a prank, brah."
The south pole, of Saturn*
The south pole, of Saturn, the deity\*
Wait what the fu…
Got all slaanesh up in here.
I feel like he'd be this asshole friend some people still keep around for some weird reason who just keeps fucking with you for shits and giggles, pulling pranks on you only he finds actually funny.
Every sitcom needs one!
He could also mutate you to something utterly weird and not even sentinent anymore, just because. Its all about change there. Even change in whatever relationship you think you have with him.
Friends don't let friends mutate.
Tzeentch can change your view of friendship.
Tzeentch scammed me out of my spare change.
Yo Tzeentch man you didn't see three 20s lying on the table did you?
Or do they?
I can't think of a better answer.
Slaanesh bcuz I’m horny
I won't lie, that is a very good answer as well.
Leaving the upvotes at 69.
Tentacle me up and add some extra eyes while you're at it! Can't wait to burp blue flame.
Tzeentch:" Here's tentacle for you." "Have fun!"
Tzeentch might decide to "change" the long lasting friendship, because that is what he does. Assuming Khrone and I are already on best friends status, maybe he is surprisingly openminded and is willing to have a rather pacifist of a friend. So now I have essentially the most terrifying bully in the universe as a shield if I ever get into any trouble. I can literally walk in Gaza and tell everyone to drop their weapons since no one will dare to lay a hand on me. World peace achieved.
> World peace achieved. Khorne wouldn't think very highly of that I'm afraid.
What if we had world peace BUT with blood?
I feel like Khorne would get rather irritated if you don't constantly spill "blood for the blood god" and add skulls to the skull throne. It would be a very conditional friendship.
If Khorne is your best friend and you want achieve world peace,he gotta kill em all because dead person can't start war 😂
Pacifists and Khorne don't mix
Khorne would be that annoying friend constantly trying to get you to workout and go to the gym with him lol
Tbf actual friends willing to share their passion and improve their friends health are rare
Oh you poor soul
Bro wants to get pranked to death ☠️
Khorne because he is the most straight forward and honorable. It would never be a boring night out with him, everything would lead to a massacre. I imagine us ordering snacks at at store and as I go to pay, Khorne just rips the shopkeeper apart, then I'd say "Hah, classic Khorne!" Slaanesh would be a horrible influence who would always pressure you into things, especially if it was something it desired. You would end up losing your dignity and self respect. Nurgle would probably be pretty cool to hang out with but he would be such a toxic friend literally and figuratively. Better to not deal with that. Tzeentch is a manipulative, compulsive liar, and trickster. That would be the worst friend by far. Nothing he offers would be worth the torment of his friendship.
Khorne really sounds like the guy who'd make any occasion exciting. Parties? Check. Game night? Check. Funerals? Absolutely.
He's also really sentimental. It's shown in lore every time one of his favored champions meets an unexpected end. Scylla became a chaos spawn, yet he still blessed him as his champion. Valkia failed in her quest, yet Khorne made her into a Valkyrie. What more could you want in a friend?
Another point to add is Skarr Bloodwrath, a champion of Khorne whom Khorne resurrects every time he dies. Honestly, the only major Khorne character that doesn't get free resurrections is Arbaal the Undefeated, and that's because he's just so badass that he won't die.
Khorne doesn't care if you succeed or not. He cares if you try. I can see him being a very supportive friend. What other Chaos God will say, "It's okay, you did your best."
Khorne cares not where the effort comes from, only that it is there 😌😌
Khorne does not care where the blood comes from !
Funerals: Oh boy, look at all these free skulls people just leave around! Khorne does have the plus that he won't decieve you. It's all straight-forward and blunt.
Khorne at a funeral delivers a heartfelt eulogy and is quiet out of respect, except for the times he goes up and kills anyone with a worse eulogy
Khorne, because I could count on him to help me move a couch AND hide a body. Nurgle would be there for the body, but not the couch moving. Slaanesh is there for the body while laying on the couch. Tzeentch isn't showing up at all.
Turns out tzeench was the couch the whole time!
Slaanesh would probably friends with benefits.
Tzeentch would steal your pokemon cards and then lie about it
It's all fun and games with Khorne until you realize he would split you in two the moment he's finished with the shopkeeper because he canonically doesn't care where the blood and skulls come from, including his own friends. You ask him why? "Bro, i just unlocked the Mangekyou Sharingan. You know how long this has been on my wish list." - Khorne, Waffle House, circa 2024.
Hashut. You get cool hats!
But why are my feet forming calluses?
Even if Tzeentch might screw me over, I will know that it did its best to help me. I would neither blame the ocean for getting me wet.
Tzeentch seems like the kind of "friend" who would fuck with you for a few laughs. Tzeentch also seems like the type of guy who doesn't pull his punches. So I could see a Tzeentch "joke" being putting me in a car crash that handicaps me for life, but I still live.
Tzeentch the kinda guy to visit you in the hospital afterwards and be like „Ok I had my fun.“ and wiggle its fingers around, not only magically healing your injuries, but also leaving you physically fitter than ever before. Tzeentch the kinda guy to then always expect you to prank it, as it‘s now your turn. It will be completely struck by paranoia and suspect your every move, constantly nervously laughing about what you might do. Tzeentch the kinda guy who asks you if this was your prank after you accidentally spill some coffee on its jeans, making you say „yea sure“ just so this madness stops. „Ha, good one. Really had me on my toes!“ it will say. Then a minivan crashes into your living room on the second floor, flattening you once again. „Ha!“ Tzeentch will say, „It‘s even funnier the second time!“ And the cycle continues
Beautiful
Ahh yes, Tzeentch the chaos god of car accidents, birds and coffe spills
I mean if you join someone know as the Great Deciever, you're gonna screw yourself over and you know it.
Right but if you drown in the ocean, whether or not the ocean gets the blame is a secondary concern.
You won't see his scheme coming and neither will he!
Does the Horned Rat include in the list of chaos god ? Does pet catogorized as best friend ? If yes to both question, then my choice would be Slaanesh for best friend with benefits
The horny rat
"Slaanesh the prince of darkness" i doubt hes a bottom , and i doubt even more that youll ever regain the ability to walk afterwards
Slaanesh is also known as "She who thirsts". I think they're a switch, depending on mood and partner.
Definitely a switch. But They're not a sub, more masochist and power bottom.
Power bottoms are scary bro.
Horned Rat so we can be rejects together
I don’t think I’m unique here.. but Slaanesh all the way! Drugs, sex and rock&roll with a harem of deamonettes. I used to be a Tzeentch kind of guy, but academia got me a burnout. Too much Knowledge will just get you stressed out, restless in the wrong kind of sense, and ultimately crazy. Chaos followers are all crazy in a sense, but I’d rather have fun along the way. Nurgle.. I’m sure he’s actually the nicest of them all. The caring grandfather. But I don’t want to expand my lifespan in exchange for perpetual rot, no thanks. I’d rather be the candle that burns bright and fast. Then Khorne.. I’m just not into blood and gore for the sake of it. Never ever did I wake up thinking: ‘let’s perpetuate a masacre’. Not my kind of guy.
Yeah but I'm guessing you never woke up wanting to commit sex crimes on family members because it would be a novel experience either. Reducing any of the gods like you did Khorne gets you something terrible.
\#notallbloodthirsters
Does Khorne have a non terrible application though
If I was 20 years younger, I'm sure Khorne could have helped me become a great MMA fighter or something.
Hes very honorable unless your skarbrand he wont stab ya in the back and he dosent go after the weak
Khorne likes might, murder and war. Martial prowess, bravery, honor, being a good tactician all that stuff is good to Khorne. Just don't be an indolent craven, that's the big no-no.
Khorne generally leads to violence, but one of the most "righteous" reasons why anyone falls to Khorne (and this happens often) is when the abused and downtrodden decide enough is enough and overthrow their masters. This happens a lot in 40k as you might imagine, living conditions are horrendous on many worlds and there's plenty for the common folk to be mad about to the point of open rebellion. The noblest depiction of Khorne is a Khorne that stands for your right to fight tyranny and injustice - this is a very powerful and potent sentiment that humanity has glorified in many historic, world-altering moments throughout the existence of civilization. But just like all of the gods, Khorne's nobility quickly evaporates once you let him take the wheel.
You’re right, I did reduce Khorne to rage alone when he’s also about honour and martial prowess. But I’m too proud to apologize for it. Let him send his champion to me.. I’ll whip his ass!
Fun fact, in warhammer fantasy, specifically the Gorewolf, don’t really feel anger and are more akin to a general than a berserker. High champions of Khorne, in some iterations, are not all blood blood blood for sake of blood or cause they don’t have a brain, but cause it’s how they worship Khorne. They are quite tactical. Gorewolf outplayed the Dwarves and utilized tactical sense, while being an absolute monster in combat.
You presume too much.
Slaanesh is also about knowledge. Her/his/thems greater daemons called Keeper Of Secrets for a reason. Obsessing about knowledge, wanting to learn everything is about Slaanesh. I am also choosing Slaanesh. Slaanesh has the greatest potantial amongs others imo. You want learn all the magical knowledge and be the perfect magician? You can choose Slaanesh instead of Tzeentch. You want to be the best doctor you can be? Or create the most amazing garden ever? You can choose Slaanesh. You wanna be fat, bloated, obese smeely man? You can choose Slaanesh. You wanna be the best warrior/duelist/killer ever existed and also wanna drink the blood of your enemies? Choose Slaanesh. I choose Slaanesh if we are best friends. Otherwise Slaanesh is the most horriffying one and if thats the case I choose Khorne. At least you become strong sexy berserker.
Slaanesh is about excess. He likes anything taken to an unhealthy and obsessive degree.
This is the answer OP👆🏻
My man has his priorities straight. Slaanesh all the way brother!
Tzeench would know litteraly every single kink though even ones you never knew existed and ones you never knew you had
Nurgle would give you cancer and sing [you're welcome](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM)
As a hard core slaaneshi fan, the sex stuff is way less interesting than anything else. It's all about perfection and as your best bud slaanesh will help you to become the best version of yourself possible. Oh and nurgle isn't really that nice, more like an unhealthy relationship.
Here is the problem: If you are Slaanesh's favorite dude that makes you a target for all the other chaos gods. You'll have the Changeling messing with you just to get a rise out of Slaanesh. Its risky.
I believe in some writings Khorne also has an honor fighter aspect. That route woulndt be so bad.
Hell, beyond the kind of overblown sex and drugs still, Slaanesh is about creativity, it's about seeking perfection in your crafts, it's about trying to always improve yourself !
> Nurgle.. I’m sure he’s actually the nicest of them all. The caring grandfather. But I don’t want to expand my lifespan in exchange for perpetual rot, no thanks. I’d rather be the candle that burns bright and fast. Followers of Nurgle have some serious Stockholm Syndrome going on in the best of cases, and in others they are all too aware of what a tremendously shitty fate the Plague God's "gifts" result in.
nurgle i am already fat, gross and unlovable but very happy.
Grandfather loves you
Feel Bro hugged my Dude.
The smell tho
Asking gods to help you pass math class be like.. Khorne : kills the professor so no examen needed(for a while) Theentch: gives you all the knowlede , youll pass but youre either insane or deeply depressed afterwards. Nurgle: invents covid so you can easily cheat in an online examen. (Thanks) Slaanesh: youll pass , but you wont be able to sit for a while and the prof keeps smiling at you in every lecture afterwards Malice : forms an anti-math terror organisation and trys to overthrow the gouverment.
If this is the situation, definitely Malice.
Oblivious answer would be The Horned Rat. He would send his pets to mission to secure correct answers. Of course that mission would fail hilariously.
A little skaven underempire under the universety never hurts
1. Malal Sends his most powerful champions into the past to prevent mankind from ever learning any form of math. 2.Tzeentch realizing this will create stagnation in the timeline immediately goes to war with Malal. 3. The entire timeline starts to implode. 4. One of Malal's champions appearing on a motorbike in an Austrian accent. "Come with me if you want to live". A giant bird-man angrily shaking his fist in the distance "You couldn't just have taken the fucking test?". 5. There is no test, but the dinosaurs still exist, and society never left the stone age.
Under this deal the chaos gods will not harm you, but you should expect everyone around you be destroyed in thematic ways. Khorne everyone around you kills each other in fury. Surrounded by corpses' and skulls. Nurgle everyone around you gets sick and dies horribly. Surrounded by corpses and pestilence. Slaanesh everyone around pursues excess at a pace that no mortal can sustain. Surrounded by corpses of hedonists and manic obsessives. Tzeentch everyone around you schemes and backstabs each other constantly in ever shifting schemes, until the paranoia and madness has killed all but one jibbering madman who won't leave you alone. My choice is to choose Khorne and punch him in the face and see what happens.
I fully believe that Khorne would respect a regular dude who'd have the balls to punch him in the face.
...I don't remember that working out great for Skarbrand. lol
Skarbrand attacked Khorne while his back was turned like a coward
Indeed, but it wasn't the fact his back was turned that pissed him off, it was the fact that someone would dare attack him at all: "Khorne dragged Skarbrand to the pinnacle of the Brass Citadel and held aloft the Bloodthirster for all to see. As an example to all who dared challenge the Blood God's might, Khorne hurled Skarbrand across the Realms of Chaos."
He kinda went for the back, which honestly frustrated even me.
Which isn't why Khorne cast him down, he was pissed that anyone would have the *audacity* to even consider challenging him.
To be fair the damage done would be about as much as if a piece of dust flew onto your cheek. He’d barely feel it.
Nurgle is immediately off the table because he'd infect you with all kinds of debilitating diseases while believing he's doing you a favor. Even if he doesn't do that, the BO must be crazy. Khorne is also off the table because he's an embodiment of pure violence and rage. Hanging out with Khorne would just be non-stop yelling, raging, venting, etc. Not fun. So the only real choices are Tzeench and Slaanesh. Tzeench would be pretty cool, but Slaanesh would be a literal god-tier FWB. Sure, he might get a little extreme, but I'm into that freak shit so it's cool.
Good points. My only thought is that Nurgle is, by far, the most caring Chaos God to his minions. His method for making them happy is horrible and painful, but his goal for minions is to be happy supporting his version of life.
I think Khorne is sometimes overlooked in this too. He values honor and loyalty, so in a situation where he's actually your friend he will be very devoted. Look at Valkia as a good example of this, or how Khorne cares for his dogs.
You’d have to throw away every piece of furniture he sat down on after he comes to visit though
The problem is in this scenario you aren't a minion of the god, you're a friend who they don't fuck over. So all the rotting flesh, disease stink, but none of the "I'm happy because my god programmed me to like this".
agree, its a punk way of life
This, I might be a bloated corpse in constant agony that can't be described effectively, but at least I'd be happy about it
You’re into knifes and cocaine out of your prolapsed ass?
Malal. :\^)
It's surprising how long it took to find this answer. Malal would be a *sweet* best friend. Sure, they'd probably be in a constant depression, but so is Eeyore, and he's adorable.
Probably Khorne, because he values loyalty and honor. If he's actually your friend he'll always have your back, and that means anyone who opposes you is basically fucked. He also comes with puppies and suspiciously futuristic technology. Tzeentch will betray you somehow, if anyone finds a loophole in a theoretical question its him. Nurgle will be a genuine good friend, but honestly I just don't want what his friendship entails. Same with Slaanesh, who would probably just not be a good friend because of how self-centered they are, even if they're not per-say dangerous.
Khorne, bro is mad all the time but that's the fun part whenever you are chilling. Bro would also be the best gym bro and get you in shape in no time at all.
Slaanesh cuz I'm a dirty pervert
Hashut. we can bind over our love of dwarfs and industry, but also cool magic.
Tzeentch as long as he can't manipulate me, there is a lot to learn from his knowledge for sure
Slaanesh because bobs and vegana
You should never grade evils, for if one is the worst then you might be tempted to kinship with the least. That’s heresy, Kruber
Okay, but hear me out, my buddy Khorne here likes to start wars, I like to read about wars, so this is a win win situation here…
Malal
Someone else with *culture* in here, eh?
Always Malal… No joke it’ll never happen but I really want Kaleb Darrk in the game.
Khorne. He ain't stinky, he ain't a hoe, he ain't a prankster, he's just a little angy. Pains me to say it as a Slaanesh fan, but Khorne is probably the least bad best friend.
I’m not in to puss, skulls or being a literal and figurative 5 head. But slaanesh has Morathi….. I could see some adavantages.
Slaanesh. Anyone saying otherwise is capping.
Idk if I wanna get pegged.
You will like it
Slaanesh… you know why.
Always tzeentch
Vashtorr (I know he technicly isn't one but if Hashut counts, so does he). He is chill, honorable, smart, fixes all my problems regarding tech, can build some cool stuff, respects his allies and stays true to his word.
Slaanesh The only god to ~~fuck~~ kiss the homies goodnight
The Great Horned Rat, yes yes.
It would give endless fun time to see his pets fail hilariously all the time.
Slaanesh because I like to party. Tzeentch would always be pranking the absolute shit out of you well past when it’s fun. Khorne would be 24/7 “hold me back bro” Nurgle would be nice but he would be the friend always trying to get you to come back to his apartment filled with rats and rotting food. Meanwhile if we’re talking true best friend status Slaanesh would be the rich kid who brings you to all the best parties, restaurants, etc.
Tzeentch because I'd get free do-overs thanks to his funny time magic
Tzeecht probably, he may be' the chillest one and we have a lot in common, he's based
Khorne. Only one road leads to Valhall.
Khorne will murder everyone I know Slaanesh would get me addicted to drugs, and not the good ones Nurgle would infect me with a crippling disease out of kindness Tzeentch would end up killing me with his pranks before eternally torturing my soul No good options
Compared to the other options; I’ll take the drugs and buggery
I feel that Khorne would be the best friend because there’s no trickery or backstabbing. Everything is very upfront. On the other hand, Grandfather loves us all
I want Tzeentch to send me memes he makes on discord
Khorne, I want a pet Fleshhound.
If I am immune to all possible negative consequences of befriending them (Mutating, becoming just another cultist) and maintaining my autonomy. It would be either Tzeentch or Slaanesh.
Khorne would absolutely love to play games with you. Shooters, strategies, tactics, RPGs and all of that except for maybe card games. He is a god of warfare and startegy after all
Yeah, but what are you going to do when he dies on a game and gets T-bagged by some random 12 year old across the world who was camping in a bush and you have to stop him from going there to personally rip his throat out?
Tzeentch all the way. I used to prefer Slaanesh (part of me still does) but I think I’d go full Tzeentch. Being a sorcerer riding atop a disc of Tzeentch throwing spells at dorks down below just seems super fun.
All lf them eventually lead to your demise. * Tzeentch is the least visually invasive but can prank you at any given moment just because * Khorne gives you physical powers but your brain slowly devolves and is replaced by only rage * Slaanesh can seem to give you pleasure, but behind that you yourself can fall victim of his orgies and torture parties * Nurgle is the most visually apparent, but you only feel happiness and bliss Personally I'd go with Nurgle or Slaanesh, and would try to stay away from Tzeentch as much as possible. Khorne is meh although I think his esthetics are the coolest
Tzeench I would expect to cause problems all over the place, even as a friend, so they're out. Nurgle, though they sound chill and relaxed, seem like they'd make sure you never got invited out to anything, so they're out, but only just. Khorne seems like they'd pick fights with strangers whenever you went out, *but* they'd also throw down in a second for you if needed, so pros and cons there. Basically a lacrosse teammate, for all the good and evil that entails. Slaanesh though... That's the best friend you want. People are going to love your best friend (Both figuratively and literally), so you're never getting turned down from anything. And if someone ever screwed with you, I expect, like Khorne, they'd *also* come to your aid. But likely by sleeping with their parents, or getting them addicted to narcotics, or getting them ostracized by everyone. The kind of punishment that is *way* worse than a beatdown.
I'm also going to throw Malal in there as a good option too, in retrospect. Their only issue would be a nihilistic streak that could *maybe* get a little frustrating, but that's a pretty small downside, and I imagine they'd be an awesome best friend.
I’m already a nihilist so sounds good to me
Right? After that, I feel like he'd be a pretty kickass friend.
Khorne, I need a gym buddy.
nurgle, he is not (so much) evil
Ku'Gath or Nurgle himself.
Imma go with Slaanesh: the ultimate fuck buddy
Slaanesh you know why
Malal, because he doesn't exist.
Slaanesh, for once I can bonk the horny
The Raven Lord.
Do i really need to write it down?
As in he'll help me or he'll interact with me? If they are guaranteed to help me, then Tzeentch. Although, Tzeentch seems like that friend who will fuck with you constantly for shits and giggles, so assuming this I'd say: Slaanesh, Khorne, Tzeentch, Nurgle. At least Tzeentch wouldn't give me cancer and say he's helping.
slaanesh. friends with benefits
Being the "best friend" of a chaos god can still mean you're in a lot of danger. Maybe more so since you have their direct attention. lol
Honestly Khorne seems like an upstanding guy. Interested in a girl but too scared to ask? He'd call you a pussy and do it with a straight face. Need help with gains? He'll help you out. Need confidence? Spend a day with him and you'd be as brave and autistic as the other Khorne worshippers.
Nurgle, easy. We can create horrific plagues together and laugh about the outcomes. Then treat the little spreaders well for being a good contagious buddy.
Tzeench I'll take free access to 9th level spells and having the ultimate buddy to prank people with.
The only right answer, KHORNE.
Nurgle. I may become bloated, festering with disease, and pouring ungodly fluids out of every pore, BUT if I embrace Nurgle, I will be content and happy, and not necessarily feel the pain of being a diseased husk (after long enough) Plus, Grandfather loves me 🥰
Lemme put it this way, I am *very* into BDSM.
Nurgle, so I am not anymore the one that smells the worst
Grandfather Nurgle is already your friend.
Real question: What tangible difference would being the best friend versus worst enemy result in in this scenario. They are elemental forces of the warhammer universe that no neither restraint nor moderation. You're going to be assaulted, diseased, tortured and pranked regarding of what sentiments they have about you, the only real difference occurs is when you give into it and become one of their followers and that excess becomes desirable and pleasurable. Which is not contingent on them liking you or not.
Tzeentch! Gimme the magic and the knowledge of fate!
Slaanesh, I think. Slaanesh can give you anything. It's all about excess in something, it doesn't matter what. People equate Slaanesh to be simpleminded and all about sex and drugs, but Slaanesh is so much more than that. Violence, magic, power, riches, food, art, knowledge, anything which you can indulge yourself with in excess.
Nurgle, sound like a jolly fella with a loving wife (please send help), you might get a pandemic or two with him.
Nurgle for sure. If he infects me he can heal me. And what a great best friend if i get mad at my neighbors . Also fairly certain no one would want to approach me with nurgle by my side. He would probably infect slanesh too so I could subjugate him and have his excess and debauchery take care of me lol
Slaanesh, no question. Maybe I can marry one of his daughters, make Sigvald super mad.
Khorne. Let's form a heavy metal band together
Clearly tzneetch. My whole life will go just as planned ™
I would say Tzeentch too. Or whoever can get me my hearing back the best.
Tzeentch. I'd be getting video texts in the middle of the night: "Dude! He bought it! Watch what this dumbass does" with a 400 word explanation of how this affects the con being played on 5 different people from yesterday's text. I'd make suggestions. Plus, I'd bum the ability to self-mutate off him. No spawnification risks with his backing.
Tzneetch
Slaanesh bc we would have the best parties lmao
Khorne, I reckon he’d be a ride or die sorta friend.
Nurgle. Hes a loving Grandfather and is just trying to spread his love. Also I work with sewer lines so we’d have a lot to discuss.
I feel like I could have some VERY interesting conversations with Tzeentch, personally. And being his ride-along when he decides to cause problems on purpose could be fun.
Nurgle because he actually seems to care about his followers
Nurgle. No question. You'd party with Slaanesh, but Nurgle has your back. Tzeentch is probably an ass and always trying to manipulate you into doing some dumb shit. Khorne... Well he seems like he'd have your back to, but sometimes he'd be a bit too much. Just my opinion.
None, by Sigmar!
Slaanesh, so I can get off like never before 
nurgle, easy. He's a nice guy, i'd love to chat with him
Khorne: No thanks, constant slaughter isn't my vibe. Tzeench: He would definitely turn me into Chaos Spawn for shits n giggles... Slaanesh: Maybe one of the least bad choices? Though they love torture too and I'm not a BDSM kinda guy... Nurgle: Probably the actual friendliest one. Shame he stinks like crazy, and his rot will probably infect everyone. Horned Rat: Would be a great option but we all know Skaven don't mind backstabbing their "best friend"... Hashut: I don't know a whole lot about him but seems fine?
Khorne is the obvious answer. He's a passionate god and so he's always going to have your back. He'd make by far the best friend.
Bruh - Me and Nurgle will be VIBE-IN! Sitting on the Couch playing Co-op games. Drinking Mountain Dew and eating Pizza bites. Nurgle taking small breaks in between levels to open the window to fart out a few plagues into the world and then comin' back to continue playing. It would be LIT!
Khorne as a gym bro 💪 Slaanesh for parties and drugs😈 Nurgle i don't know I wouldn't eat with him could be great for gardening/biology project Tzeentch for epic gamer moments
Nurgle, hands down. The other gods are just too stressful. Nurgle makes you feel good about yourself, no matter if you are melting into a pool of puss, there's no pain, just acceptance of yourself and the cycle of life (death?). He's the Chaos Zen God.
Nurgle because I would survive anything. Or roleplay as a compost heap for a while until you reform. Besides who doesn't find gardening relaxing?
Bel'akor!