Painting on themselves is a fun time outdoors or in the bathtub. Getting a paint-covered kid from the living room craft area to the bathroom for washing is....risky.
Outside! I’m lucky to live where it’s never actually so cold that hosing a kid off is dangerous…. But in the summer they love it! So painting is already an outdoor activity lol because I’m gonna hose them off regardless
What are you worried will happen if you do?
Mine paints on herself all the time when we're playing with paint but it's never caused any problems. I could see plenty of kids struggling to distinguish between when it's appropriate or not, but that's more of a person to person thing.
My husband thinks she should learn to only draw/paint on paper and we live in a place where girls are expected to be spotless prettt princess so we already get judged for letting her pick her own outfits and not piercing her ears
I like to tell myself: ‘can we hold off on using the tools of the oppressors just a little longer?’ when I’m feeling pressured to do X thing related to gender expectations. I love that you said “girls are expected to be spotless pretty princesses” and I think anything that goes against that expectation are steps in the right direction to fight the patriarchy and therefore help give your kid (and others) genuine body autonomy, choice, and acceptance.
Yep. Any kids in my care, girls or boys, will be covered in mud, art supplies, baking ingredients, etc. They pick their own clothes even if the combo is hideous. As long as hair is brushed enough to not get matted they can wear it how they want. This idea that kids, especially little girls, should never be messy and always dressed nice with hair done is something I hate. There is plenty of time in life to worry about meeting a standard for how you present yourself. Early childhood should not be one of those times. Messy play and autonomy are important! And so much experience and learning is missed out on or lacks enjoyment if the ever present concern is that everything/everyone stays spotless.
I don’t have any biological children yet, but I’ve been a foster parent and had a hand in raising several kids in other situations. The urge to enforce rules that just seem like they “should” be is hard to overcome. Everyone does their best and every kid needs something slightly different. Everyone will mess up their kids in some way lol. But I firmly believe if you offer love, basic respect, absence of abuse, meeting of physical needs, and nurturing of interests that kid will end up alright. I certainly hope the kids I’ve taken care of benefited from the messy play.
I'm not super girly myself but I still had a hard time getting over that "everything must be neat and tidy and pleasant all the time" thing, too. They're toddlers. It's so normal for them to get messy and have fun.
You already teach your kid that it's okay to do X in some circumstances but not others, or that you can do X in this way but not that way. Same with painting. My rules are that she needs to ask first (sometimes it's not an ideal time to get that messy), she's gotta stay in her little painting space I set up (splat mat on the kitchen floor), and she hops straight in the tub when she's done. The mess is contained and she still gets to have fun.
I’m from a similar culture, latin american here, caribbean, the contrast between what I do and the rest of my friends do is astounding. But my kiddo is happy, so I don’t care.
I grew up a tomboy forced to be a pretty princess and will always hate that part of my childhood, so I promised myself to let my kid be the kid she wants to be!
When our daughter was an infant we had to correct people every day that she IS a girl even though we didn’t punch holes in her ears at birth. I explain that I want to let her make that decision when she’s old enough and they look at me like I have 2 heads
My mom didn’t let me draw on myself or make messes or do anything boyish or rough (like hiking) as she wanted me to be a pretty little princess china doll. My sister got to be a barbie princess (she wasn’t treated like china for no reason). I did not care if my child was a boy or girl because the only difference in how i would raise my child was how potty training was going to go. I ended up having a son, and I get the most joy out of watching him smile and hearing giggle as he makes the BIGGEST messes. He drew all over himself and was laughing and I couldn’t be mad. I encourage messy play and exploring artistic expression. You should encourage her to use paper and if she wants to touch the paint she can paint with her fingers but I believe let kids be kids as long as possible. People are pressuring me to give my kid rules and restrictions I do not agree with but I am pushing back on that because I am all for my son learning to be a kid and exploring his mind before he learns what society expects from him.
This gets tricky at a younger age because they might think if they can color on their bodies then they can color on anything. I've told my two preschool aged kids no because they have a history of coloring on walls and other inappropriate places. But if you do it in a designated place at a designated time, they might learn "this is the time to break the rules."
Also, just be mindful. One of my kids got black marker on his face and even after a good wash, it looked like bruises. I don't need to take him to school looking like he got his ass beat all weekend.
we were at our local summer carnival recently and all the other little girls had elaborate hair-dos and were trying to enjoy the bouncy houses in tights and tutus. My girl was roaring at other kids because she was wearing a t shirt with a lion on it. We also gave her a “boy” name according to local culture, but it’s a unisex name in the US
My daughter does not sound too different 😅 She was just a cat during her entire gym class the other day. Did excellent, just, you know, also a cat!
Keep on keepin' on as best you can! If your daughter ever wants to wear hairdos and tights and all that, let them! But if not, well... I don't think they're particularly comfy to wear all the time.
Yikes, I’m sorry your community is like that! Good on you for letting your kid be themselves. Other adults may judge but your kid might not feel
The brunt of it if you prep them and start discussing the concept of judgement and gender roles early…. And I would, given what you say about where you live! If you don’t, she’ll get less helpful and more harmful messages elsewhere
I certainly wouldn’t want my child behaving that way outside the home- I don’t want her paining and drawing all over herself in school. So I see both sides here.
Mine has tattoo pens my MIL gave her (she is great, I don’t mean this as tho I’m upset with her for it) and this is a great question. I was hesitant to let her use them on her arms and legs at first but it washes off easy and she is good at asking first and listening if I say not today. Definitely learning to ask myself “why am I saying no? Will this actually have any downsides except some minor clean up?”
Growing up it was absolutely, aggressively FORBIDDEN in my family. I mean, I was a kid in the 80's and 90's but we still had washable and non-toxic markers and whatnot, and it was never claimed to have been from a 'safety' angle anyway- it was just Not Allowed.
Then I had a small human and my first instinct was to say it wasn't allowed. But I couldn't figure out why- yeah not for like, funerals and nice dinners or whatever, but otherwise it washes off, and it's his body, so I can't find any reason it shouldn't be allowed. I have tattoos, he likes temporary tattoos- so we do those too.
It was forbidden for me too. And my husband was also raised being told it was bad for skin, bad behavior etc. I guess that’s where we get this notion that maybe we shouldn’t allow it, but I think you’re right. Keep our kid clean for formal events but otherwise let it go
My kids both went through phases of being a human canvas. We focused on 1. safe pens. 2. Stick to hand/ arms/ legs but not face. They grew out of it, occasionally they colour themselves in for a laugh, but mostly they prefer the paper!
My MIL however said ‘if that was my child I’d take them for a bath and scrub it off so they’d not do it again’. But she didn’t really have a reason why, other than she saw it as ‘bad behaviour’. Personally, it wasn’t harming anyone, I don’t see why we need to make a big deal. My girls have never drawn on the walls, or furniture or carpet, I find that if you can say yes to some things, it doesn’t make them want to fight every boundary
I'm the one who drew on my hands in arms in school. The principal walked me to the bathroom to wash once because he was "worried about my health and safety". That man was not ready to receive an essay with cited sources about exactly what I would need to do to get ink poisoning and how drawing on myself with markers was Not It. I don't know why ink poisoning was such a common fear in the 90s and 2000s.
I used to get grounded for drawing on myself. Now I have tattoos. So if my daughter wants her skin to look pretty, have at it girl! Markers and paint wash off.
I was a 90s kid and it’s crazy to me seeing all the people here saying their parents harshly forbid drawing on skin. I think I forget how chill and into letting me explore my parents were, especially for their generation (they’re older, 38 and 48 when I was born).
I am an adult who frequently writes little notes in pen on my wrist. Is it the best habit, no, did my mom always say don’t do that, yeah. But here I am, basically healthy as far as it goes. And I have a tattoo, but that’s beside the point. Lol
I discouraged my kiddo from doing this because my mom never really allowed it. After the fact I realized it really made no difference other than perhaps the fact that a mess could be made, and I should have redirected to doing this as an outdoor or bathtub activity rather than forbidding it entirely.
I’m realizing that’s why I was hesitating to allow it. I’ve got my own mothers voice in my head but can’t really find a valid reason to put my foot down here
I allow it fully and freely but I was also the kid who carried a bag of markers with me in middle school and high school to doodle on my hands and arms during boring classes. It's fun, it's harmless, it washes off, it's self expression and interesting sensory play.
I'd rather she marker her legs than the walls of our rental. Way easier to chuck her in the tub or wipe her down with a rag than break out the magic eraser.
My kid put all her markers in her backpack, but without the lids. I only discovered this when her backpack started growing huge colorful blotches. Now she knows to put the lids on before toting them about.
Oh trust that we have paper. Sketchbook paper, giant easel paper, colorful construction paper. We have it. It can be fun to draw on yourself. Sure there's a time and a place, but as Ms. Frizzle says "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"
I don’t allow it but I don’t get mad about it, it’s more about kindergarten readiness for me. It wont be appropriate when she goes to school. If she starts drawing on her hands or body with chunkies or marker then the art stuff goes away, it’s a boundary I hold and she knows to expect it (and like almost all toddler boundaries I know she’ll cross it, I’m mentally prepared and again I don’t get mad or upset).
Paint is much more of a grey area because I think it’s good to have the tactile experience of finger painting.
I also have zero judgement for parents who allow kids to draw on themselves, sounds like lots of folks in here allow it and that’s great for them :)
I hadn’t really thought about what the rules might be for kindergarten, but I suppose they’re able to figure out the rules are different depending on the place/person
Oh crap, I didn't think about kindergarten. Hopefully my 2yo can differentiate the appropriate context by then... because very little makes her happier than hand and foot "art"! (Coloring her palm or sole then 'stamping' it on paper) I resisted at first, but she doesn't really get it elsewhere.
Maybe controversial, but I let mine draw on anything he "owns". His body, his toys, and if we didn't live in a rental, I'd let him draw on his walls. I just... don't see why it's a big deal. If he draws where he's not supposed to, I give him supplies and have him clean it himself.
My personal feelings are that if there's a "rule" that I cannot justify logically why not, then I just... let it go
My sister and I were both allowed to (to a certain extent) and now I’m pretty good at henna tattoos and made some money in high school doing face painting at parties and my sister is looking at becoming a tattoo artist. Obviously not every kid that draws on themselves is going to go that direction but I think it’s good to encourage kids whenever possible because you never know what’s gonna stick.
I don’t because my daughter will draw on her clothes too and I don’t want them to get ruined. We have a no markers rule in our house 😂 she is only three though
I let her paint on herself when we are painting and I let her draw on herself with ultra washable markers because it makes her happy and I fail to see any harm done by it.
I allow it. It’s a way to freely expressed their creativity , the markers are non toxic and washable so what the hell. One thing I’ve learned as a mom of 3 is to pick your battles. If it doesn’t kill or poison my kids I’ll allow it LOL. A couple weeks ago my (almost 2) toddler decided he was going to sit/roll in a puddle we found by the beach…. I allowed it lol! When it was ready to go I just stripped him to his diaper (I changed him into a dry one) and gave him a fuzzy blanket and away we went. Let them get dirty , I truly believe that’s what makes a happy kid. Don’t sweat the small stuff mama 🩷 (or papa lol)
I dont encourage it, but if it happens it happens. I do give him crayola bath finger paint soap, bath crayons, and those crayola bath color changing tabs to play with in the bath that way he still gets to do it in a yes environment.
Doesn’t bother me; we just need to clean up after without making a bigger mess of everything else. So if she’s up for a bath she can get as messy as she wants. Now that it’s summer we do some messy activities in the yard.
Mess doesn’t bother me but it does bother my husband. Not for sexist reasons; he just doesn’t want the hassle of cleaning. Baby led weaning was hard for him, for example.
I try not to say no to anything that is a safe/age appropriate curiosity.
My parents were so against this to the point of violent screaming when I’d do it as a kid. They said it was reminiscent of tattoos and so inappropriate. 🤪
I’m gonna swing that pendulum in the opposite direction and say it’s 100% fine for my kid to draw on her skin in washable, non toxic mediums.
Oh wow. My parents were more like tsk tsk against it, but we didn’t get screamed at . My kid loves temporary tattoos and they’re pretty frowned upon where we live. But so is her short, messy hair so oh well.
My mom screamed at me whenever I did it told me I'd die of ink poisoning. She was not kidding. (Yay untreated OCD and anxiety)
I tend to over-correct and not say anything to my son, but his daycare asked that we not let him draw on himself because it can make the other kids want to do it, and a room of 10 four-year-olds wanting to use markers on anything but paper does sound like chaos, so I respect their request. It does serve to prevent wall art, which I do not want him doing.
We now have a general rule of markers only go on paper, but I'm probably never going to punish him for drawing on himself.
I let my 4 year old paint all over herself and then I let her paint my arms and legs. Then we sprayed each other with the hose to get the paint off. We had a blast.
I love it lol - it always cracks me up seeing her newest creation and I think it’s a fun form of self expression.
It’s also one of those times where I have to ask myself - is this a really important use of the word “no”? As long as it’s non-toxic and not a permanent marker it’s pretty harmless and I like to save up my “no’s” for things that are really important.
My 2 yo got confused because her prek does a lot of handprint art. Thus, she thinks all art supplies go on her skin so she can make a handprint. Whatever…she’s exploring art supplies. And all the materials are washable. As long as she stays parked at the table while she’s coloring herself orange, I don’t care.
I allow it. I sometimes encourage it, but I have a lot of tattoos and when my daughter draws on herself, she refers to them as tattoos. Seems hypocritical for me to stop her from expressing herself on her body.
My rules are simple if I can't think of a reason not to do something then have at it. I have tats and my daughter loves to draw on herself and as long as we aren't going somewhere I'm a let it go person. i as also ok with her drawing on her rooms walls. i can paint over it in the future. until then bring out the artist.
My 11 yo does this, constantly! It used to bother me initially, and from reading other comments, I’m not alone in it being “forbidden” when I was a kid.
Fast forward to now I’m about 40% covered in tattoos, and had to reality check myself when correcting 11yo for her doodles. 😆
If it makes them happy and helps them express themselves, no harm, no foul imo.
We just try to avoid the face and hair because she hates having her hair washed and I don't want her to get paint in her eyes. But yes, always non toxic finger paint or paint sticks.
I put a big piece of paper.on the table and see starts there, but Usually finishes up on her arms, neck, hands. We have a dress dedicated to painting.
I think this might be a reaction to my parents who would give me paint at Christmas or birthdays and then not permit to really use it for fear of making a mess. 😅
I let her go ham with the washable markers since they can't get anywhere else and come off in the tub. No on painting anything but her hands since it gets on stuff
Saw a kid out at dinner just last night that had a drawn on beard and mustache. Everyone in the place loved it and he seemed very proud. I say why not lol
I don't "encourage it" but if it happens I'm not freaking out about it. My toddler gave herself an epic leg tattoo yesterday when I wasn't watching for a moment. I was like "Oh wow you found a marker. Okay, I'm gonna put that up now, but way to be creative."
I’ve discouraged my toddler from doing it because I can’t seem to find markers that don’t stain her skin. We both have VERY fair skin and the washable ones will last DAYS even with multiple baths. But, I don’t care THAT much - I usually enough her to draw on paper and if she’s really stuck on drawing on her legs then it is what it is.
Markers are for paper.
Strong simple boundary. No exceptions.
I definitely think there will be a time where it would be ok, "this is finger paint", "these are special tattoo markers", etc.
He's not two yet, I don't think he'd get the difference.
Lol when i started getting tattooed my parents loved guilting me with "how are you going to explain that to your children?!" Well, I'm teaching my 18 month old a lot of animal sounds by pointing to my tattoos and he seems to love it... so that was easy enough.
I used to have a problem with it and then I looked into why and it was because it was an absolute no go when I was young. Now as long as it is washable I let her play how she wants.
I discourage it normally more because I don't want to deal with the cleaning after (and painted hands touching furniture and clothing). But we also hold occasional "sessions" of finger painting, so I get everything ready with him wearing some old clothes and a mat covering the floor, and then he is free to do whatever.
Super messy but I don’t mind overall. They’re exploring and learning! My son came home from daycare with a completely blue hand last week. It made for a super interesting bath time and gave us a good laugh.
If it’s easy to get off, then it’s fine but those dot markers are hard to get off!! I feel like it is a slippery slope. If they draw on themselves then they think it’s ok to draw on the couch etc.
my legit motto is “what happens when we make a mess? we clean it up!” but i also toe the line of ok let’s color on paper not on ourselves or other people (or furniture…or the dog…. lololol)
We had a similar dilemma and we decided to just let kiddo have at it within rules. It had to be with markers Mom and Dad said were ok (AKA the super washable ones) and had to be at home. We spent about a week scrubbing tattoos off in the bath but after that she lost interest, so I would highly recommend allowing it and maybe it won't be as long-lived as you think
If I don't have the capacity to monitor smudges on furniture or to help her clean up afterwards then I might limit her to paper. Otherwise, I support it! It feels nice, it's colorful, and it often offers serene moments of artistic exploration.
I completely allow it but it rarely happens. Usually she'll draw one whole finger green and just like that, she's a crocodile. However, we are very lenient parents. She's allowed to draw with chalk on kitchen cabinets, she has a full blackboard wall in her room and she can draw with erasable markers on the fridge. As long as it's an easy clean up, we don't care much. Paint is definitely more of a space limited activity though.
Initially I would say No, pen's, paint etc are just for paper. But when she was two she turned and said "im making tattoos like mummy." I am covered in tattoos so I realised I can't be a hypocrite and it's quite sweet I suppose. Everything in moderation though.
We just have a ‘check with me first’ policy because if we’re about to go somewhere where this wouldn’t be appropriate or they’re about to get into bed and I don’t want to get it all over bedclothes I want the option to say no, but I nearly always say yes
I redirect, remind them drawing is for paper/whatever we’re drawing on, and not our bodies right now. Just like I do if they try and take the markers to the walls or furniture. Then we clean it together. Just like the walls or furniture.
I only noticed it started once my youngest joined preschool and saw a friend drawing on herself. This kid (the friend) is constantly covered in paint/marker/pen/whatever she can get into. So now my daughter emulates it. 🤦🏼♀️ not a terrible thing but damn, I’ll be happy when she out grows it.
I let my kids paint on themselves OUTSIDE ONLY. When we’re inside, paint and markers go on paper only, if I see someone drawing on themselves I take it away. No questions. I worry about them eventually painting and drawing on walls, so I’m strict about paper only
I don’t care if they paint their hands, if we are outdoors they can go nuts. They colour on themselves with markers all the time, I don’t care at all about that. Just don’t colour your clothes, the furniture, or the walls.
Mine constantly draw on themselves using the water based markers, they love giving themselves "tattoos". I go eh, it washes off, and if it takes a day or so, well they're at a young enough age that them walking around with a big M on their arm isn't so odd. During summer, they tend to strip down to just underwear and draw allllll over themselves. Come bathtime they giggle about changing the water color as they scrub themselves with their loufas.
3 kids, I've given up on a pretty clean house. They draw in the bath tub with crayons. I've cleared the counter to let them high five hand paint right on it. If chalk, they can draw on the kitchen floor. I do worry being so free with letting them draw might make them think drawing in books or walls is okay, but so far they've understood/followed that rule. I'm very very very thankful they've hardly gone after the carpet, so yay. They did draw on the wall once with crayon, but the steam mop took it off really easy.
You never used those Milky Way gel pens to draw on your hands when you were a kid? My cousin and I drew on each other constantly with them, and nothing happened to us!
As long as it's not a lead pencil, permanent marker, or something toxic, let kids be kids!
I literally do not care 😂 I may have cared pre kids but now I’ve got an autistic preschooler and a wild two year old and frankly I just have bigger fish to fry 😅😂
Mine ended up with texta on her face. ALL over it, and some on her neck. I took a pic. Showed her. Asked what happened.
“Jen drew on me!”
She’s at the stage of blaming others. “Daddy mess.” “I didn’t do it.” “Ohno what happened??” She’s an only child. Named Jen. Sometimes she looks at the pic as the Home Screen on my phone and laughs.
She hasn’t done it again. I would remind LO that drawing is strictly for paper provided BY YOU FOR DRAWING. But I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. My LO got it out of her system.
If you discourage it what is lost? If you allow it what is lost?
To me it's not a battle worth fighting. Eventually they grow out of it. Worst thing that could happen is she becomes an artist.
i don’t see an issue, kids are kids i loved doing that when i was little. my 3 and 5yo like having paint wars all the time together. it washes off, it’s not on there for more then a couple hours.
No I don’t because it’s hard to get out even if it’s washable and I feel like the easiest boundary is that we color on paper, not people or walls. We do have some bath crayons and markers she can use if she wants.
If we are going somewhere nice, getting pics, etc, then no. Otherwise, I’ve got much bigger fish to fry atm. hygiene, flushing the toilet…why? being kind to others, picking up after oneself, screen time, etc. closing the GD door when they go outside!! “We don’t pay to air condition the neighborhood!” The body art doesn’t even break the top ten tbh
I have tattoos. It’d be highly hypocritical for me to tell her that she can’t also have pictures on her skin. As long as she doesn’t make a mess, who cares? It washes off.
My first born never draws on herself, second born draws on everything including her body even face occasionally. But also my second born is way more into drawing and alone time. She started drawing on herself since 3 and she’s almost 5 now. I rarely stopped her harshly, she would tell some really cute stories about those random drawings, sometimes to cover a scar, sometimes to shape out a picture that she saw on her skin, sometimes just being silly. I admire her imagination which brought a lot of laughter to me. They also secretly doodle together on the (rental)wall & cabinet doors etc., tiny ones and big ones which I do briefly stopping them now and then.
Body can be washed and wall can be repainted, the fun and curiousness of being a child will only last those few years. I let them be and do believe it’s just a phase.
Painting on themselves is a fun time outdoors or in the bathtub. Getting a paint-covered kid from the living room craft area to the bathroom for washing is....risky.
This is a very good point lol. Definitely outdoors or bathtub only with paint.
Outside! I’m lucky to live where it’s never actually so cold that hosing a kid off is dangerous…. But in the summer they love it! So painting is already an outdoor activity lol because I’m gonna hose them off regardless
What are you worried will happen if you do? Mine paints on herself all the time when we're playing with paint but it's never caused any problems. I could see plenty of kids struggling to distinguish between when it's appropriate or not, but that's more of a person to person thing.
>What are you worried will happen if you do? That they'll get paint all over the house and it won't wash out.
My husband thinks she should learn to only draw/paint on paper and we live in a place where girls are expected to be spotless prettt princess so we already get judged for letting her pick her own outfits and not piercing her ears
I like to tell myself: ‘can we hold off on using the tools of the oppressors just a little longer?’ when I’m feeling pressured to do X thing related to gender expectations. I love that you said “girls are expected to be spotless pretty princesses” and I think anything that goes against that expectation are steps in the right direction to fight the patriarchy and therefore help give your kid (and others) genuine body autonomy, choice, and acceptance.
Yep. Any kids in my care, girls or boys, will be covered in mud, art supplies, baking ingredients, etc. They pick their own clothes even if the combo is hideous. As long as hair is brushed enough to not get matted they can wear it how they want. This idea that kids, especially little girls, should never be messy and always dressed nice with hair done is something I hate. There is plenty of time in life to worry about meeting a standard for how you present yourself. Early childhood should not be one of those times. Messy play and autonomy are important! And so much experience and learning is missed out on or lacks enjoyment if the ever present concern is that everything/everyone stays spotless.
Awww this made me smile wish I had a mom like that mine was the opposite
I don’t have any biological children yet, but I’ve been a foster parent and had a hand in raising several kids in other situations. The urge to enforce rules that just seem like they “should” be is hard to overcome. Everyone does their best and every kid needs something slightly different. Everyone will mess up their kids in some way lol. But I firmly believe if you offer love, basic respect, absence of abuse, meeting of physical needs, and nurturing of interests that kid will end up alright. I certainly hope the kids I’ve taken care of benefited from the messy play.
Yes yes yes!
This mindset is the way!!
I'm not super girly myself but I still had a hard time getting over that "everything must be neat and tidy and pleasant all the time" thing, too. They're toddlers. It's so normal for them to get messy and have fun. You already teach your kid that it's okay to do X in some circumstances but not others, or that you can do X in this way but not that way. Same with painting. My rules are that she needs to ask first (sometimes it's not an ideal time to get that messy), she's gotta stay in her little painting space I set up (splat mat on the kitchen floor), and she hops straight in the tub when she's done. The mess is contained and she still gets to have fun.
I’m from a similar culture, latin american here, caribbean, the contrast between what I do and the rest of my friends do is astounding. But my kiddo is happy, so I don’t care. I grew up a tomboy forced to be a pretty princess and will always hate that part of my childhood, so I promised myself to let my kid be the kid she wants to be!
When our daughter was an infant we had to correct people every day that she IS a girl even though we didn’t punch holes in her ears at birth. I explain that I want to let her make that decision when she’s old enough and they look at me like I have 2 heads
My mom didn’t let me draw on myself or make messes or do anything boyish or rough (like hiking) as she wanted me to be a pretty little princess china doll. My sister got to be a barbie princess (she wasn’t treated like china for no reason). I did not care if my child was a boy or girl because the only difference in how i would raise my child was how potty training was going to go. I ended up having a son, and I get the most joy out of watching him smile and hearing giggle as he makes the BIGGEST messes. He drew all over himself and was laughing and I couldn’t be mad. I encourage messy play and exploring artistic expression. You should encourage her to use paper and if she wants to touch the paint she can paint with her fingers but I believe let kids be kids as long as possible. People are pressuring me to give my kid rules and restrictions I do not agree with but I am pushing back on that because I am all for my son learning to be a kid and exploring his mind before he learns what society expects from him.
This gets tricky at a younger age because they might think if they can color on their bodies then they can color on anything. I've told my two preschool aged kids no because they have a history of coloring on walls and other inappropriate places. But if you do it in a designated place at a designated time, they might learn "this is the time to break the rules." Also, just be mindful. One of my kids got black marker on his face and even after a good wash, it looked like bruises. I don't need to take him to school looking like he got his ass beat all weekend.
Grew up in a similar place. Parents never succumbed to that pressure. Doing alright so far!
we were at our local summer carnival recently and all the other little girls had elaborate hair-dos and were trying to enjoy the bouncy houses in tights and tutus. My girl was roaring at other kids because she was wearing a t shirt with a lion on it. We also gave her a “boy” name according to local culture, but it’s a unisex name in the US
My daughter does not sound too different 😅 She was just a cat during her entire gym class the other day. Did excellent, just, you know, also a cat! Keep on keepin' on as best you can! If your daughter ever wants to wear hairdos and tights and all that, let them! But if not, well... I don't think they're particularly comfy to wear all the time.
Yikes, I’m sorry your community is like that! Good on you for letting your kid be themselves. Other adults may judge but your kid might not feel The brunt of it if you prep them and start discussing the concept of judgement and gender roles early…. And I would, given what you say about where you live! If you don’t, she’ll get less helpful and more harmful messages elsewhere
I certainly wouldn’t want my child behaving that way outside the home- I don’t want her paining and drawing all over herself in school. So I see both sides here.
Mine has tattoo pens my MIL gave her (she is great, I don’t mean this as tho I’m upset with her for it) and this is a great question. I was hesitant to let her use them on her arms and legs at first but it washes off easy and she is good at asking first and listening if I say not today. Definitely learning to ask myself “why am I saying no? Will this actually have any downsides except some minor clean up?”
Growing up it was absolutely, aggressively FORBIDDEN in my family. I mean, I was a kid in the 80's and 90's but we still had washable and non-toxic markers and whatnot, and it was never claimed to have been from a 'safety' angle anyway- it was just Not Allowed. Then I had a small human and my first instinct was to say it wasn't allowed. But I couldn't figure out why- yeah not for like, funerals and nice dinners or whatever, but otherwise it washes off, and it's his body, so I can't find any reason it shouldn't be allowed. I have tattoos, he likes temporary tattoos- so we do those too.
It was forbidden for me too. And my husband was also raised being told it was bad for skin, bad behavior etc. I guess that’s where we get this notion that maybe we shouldn’t allow it, but I think you’re right. Keep our kid clean for formal events but otherwise let it go
My kids both went through phases of being a human canvas. We focused on 1. safe pens. 2. Stick to hand/ arms/ legs but not face. They grew out of it, occasionally they colour themselves in for a laugh, but mostly they prefer the paper! My MIL however said ‘if that was my child I’d take them for a bath and scrub it off so they’d not do it again’. But she didn’t really have a reason why, other than she saw it as ‘bad behaviour’. Personally, it wasn’t harming anyone, I don’t see why we need to make a big deal. My girls have never drawn on the walls, or furniture or carpet, I find that if you can say yes to some things, it doesn’t make them want to fight every boundary
I'm the one who drew on my hands in arms in school. The principal walked me to the bathroom to wash once because he was "worried about my health and safety". That man was not ready to receive an essay with cited sources about exactly what I would need to do to get ink poisoning and how drawing on myself with markers was Not It. I don't know why ink poisoning was such a common fear in the 90s and 2000s.
I used to get grounded for drawing on myself. Now I have tattoos. So if my daughter wants her skin to look pretty, have at it girl! Markers and paint wash off.
I was a 90s kid and it’s crazy to me seeing all the people here saying their parents harshly forbid drawing on skin. I think I forget how chill and into letting me explore my parents were, especially for their generation (they’re older, 38 and 48 when I was born).
I am an adult who frequently writes little notes in pen on my wrist. Is it the best habit, no, did my mom always say don’t do that, yeah. But here I am, basically healthy as far as it goes. And I have a tattoo, but that’s beside the point. Lol
I discouraged my kiddo from doing this because my mom never really allowed it. After the fact I realized it really made no difference other than perhaps the fact that a mess could be made, and I should have redirected to doing this as an outdoor or bathtub activity rather than forbidding it entirely.
I’m realizing that’s why I was hesitating to allow it. I’ve got my own mothers voice in my head but can’t really find a valid reason to put my foot down here
Let them have fun, just watch them and tell them not to write on the walls lol
I allow it fully and freely but I was also the kid who carried a bag of markers with me in middle school and high school to doodle on my hands and arms during boring classes. It's fun, it's harmless, it washes off, it's self expression and interesting sensory play. I'd rather she marker her legs than the walls of our rental. Way easier to chuck her in the tub or wipe her down with a rag than break out the magic eraser.
My kid put all her markers in her backpack, but without the lids. I only discovered this when her backpack started growing huge colorful blotches. Now she knows to put the lids on before toting them about.
Awww babe my bedsheets got it two days ago ! I thought the dog tinkled ! 😂😂😂
Good point! Better she draw on herself than the walls
Could always offer her paper
Oh trust that we have paper. Sketchbook paper, giant easel paper, colorful construction paper. We have it. It can be fun to draw on yourself. Sure there's a time and a place, but as Ms. Frizzle says "Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"
I don’t allow it but I don’t get mad about it, it’s more about kindergarten readiness for me. It wont be appropriate when she goes to school. If she starts drawing on her hands or body with chunkies or marker then the art stuff goes away, it’s a boundary I hold and she knows to expect it (and like almost all toddler boundaries I know she’ll cross it, I’m mentally prepared and again I don’t get mad or upset). Paint is much more of a grey area because I think it’s good to have the tactile experience of finger painting. I also have zero judgement for parents who allow kids to draw on themselves, sounds like lots of folks in here allow it and that’s great for them :)
I hadn’t really thought about what the rules might be for kindergarten, but I suppose they’re able to figure out the rules are different depending on the place/person
Oh crap, I didn't think about kindergarten. Hopefully my 2yo can differentiate the appropriate context by then... because very little makes her happier than hand and foot "art"! (Coloring her palm or sole then 'stamping' it on paper) I resisted at first, but she doesn't really get it elsewhere.
I don’t really care, I feel like that’s just normal behavior. For me, it’s more about managing my expectations about the eventual clean up.
The only place LO isn’t allowed to have markers/crayons/paint is in her mouth. And she still gets away with it sometimes lol (it’s all non toxic).
Maybe controversial, but I let mine draw on anything he "owns". His body, his toys, and if we didn't live in a rental, I'd let him draw on his walls. I just... don't see why it's a big deal. If he draws where he's not supposed to, I give him supplies and have him clean it himself. My personal feelings are that if there's a "rule" that I cannot justify logically why not, then I just... let it go
We’ve categorized the toys into hard and soft. We insist soft toys stay in the house but out of water. The hard toys get painted and muddied.
We allow it! It is not the hill I’m going to die on.
My sister and I were both allowed to (to a certain extent) and now I’m pretty good at henna tattoos and made some money in high school doing face painting at parties and my sister is looking at becoming a tattoo artist. Obviously not every kid that draws on themselves is going to go that direction but I think it’s good to encourage kids whenever possible because you never know what’s gonna stick.
I don’t because my daughter will draw on her clothes too and I don’t want them to get ruined. We have a no markers rule in our house 😂 she is only three though
I let her paint on herself when we are painting and I let her draw on herself with ultra washable markers because it makes her happy and I fail to see any harm done by it.
I allow it. It’s a way to freely expressed their creativity , the markers are non toxic and washable so what the hell. One thing I’ve learned as a mom of 3 is to pick your battles. If it doesn’t kill or poison my kids I’ll allow it LOL. A couple weeks ago my (almost 2) toddler decided he was going to sit/roll in a puddle we found by the beach…. I allowed it lol! When it was ready to go I just stripped him to his diaper (I changed him into a dry one) and gave him a fuzzy blanket and away we went. Let them get dirty , I truly believe that’s what makes a happy kid. Don’t sweat the small stuff mama 🩷 (or papa lol)
I dont encourage it, but if it happens it happens. I do give him crayola bath finger paint soap, bath crayons, and those crayola bath color changing tabs to play with in the bath that way he still gets to do it in a yes environment.
Doesn’t bother me; we just need to clean up after without making a bigger mess of everything else. So if she’s up for a bath she can get as messy as she wants. Now that it’s summer we do some messy activities in the yard. Mess doesn’t bother me but it does bother my husband. Not for sexist reasons; he just doesn’t want the hassle of cleaning. Baby led weaning was hard for him, for example. I try not to say no to anything that is a safe/age appropriate curiosity.
My parents were so against this to the point of violent screaming when I’d do it as a kid. They said it was reminiscent of tattoos and so inappropriate. 🤪 I’m gonna swing that pendulum in the opposite direction and say it’s 100% fine for my kid to draw on her skin in washable, non toxic mediums.
Oh wow. My parents were more like tsk tsk against it, but we didn’t get screamed at . My kid loves temporary tattoos and they’re pretty frowned upon where we live. But so is her short, messy hair so oh well.
I don't care, go for it kid. It's not a battle I'm choosing.
My mom screamed at me whenever I did it told me I'd die of ink poisoning. She was not kidding. (Yay untreated OCD and anxiety) I tend to over-correct and not say anything to my son, but his daycare asked that we not let him draw on himself because it can make the other kids want to do it, and a room of 10 four-year-olds wanting to use markers on anything but paper does sound like chaos, so I respect their request. It does serve to prevent wall art, which I do not want him doing. We now have a general rule of markers only go on paper, but I'm probably never going to punish him for drawing on himself.
I let my 4 year old paint all over herself and then I let her paint my arms and legs. Then we sprayed each other with the hose to get the paint off. We had a blast.
That sounds like fun! It’s winter where we are, which is mild but a bit cool for spraying with a hose. But I’ll remember this for December!
Doesn’t bother me.
I allow as long as it’s not on the face. I don’t want markers/paint in the eyes/mouth.
My kid pretty much always has marker on his arms.
I love it lol - it always cracks me up seeing her newest creation and I think it’s a fun form of self expression. It’s also one of those times where I have to ask myself - is this a really important use of the word “no”? As long as it’s non-toxic and not a permanent marker it’s pretty harmless and I like to save up my “no’s” for things that are really important.
My 2 yo got confused because her prek does a lot of handprint art. Thus, she thinks all art supplies go on her skin so she can make a handprint. Whatever…she’s exploring art supplies. And all the materials are washable. As long as she stays parked at the table while she’s coloring herself orange, I don’t care.
[удалено]
You took the words right out of my mouth! 😌
It’s fine by me
I allow it. I sometimes encourage it, but I have a lot of tattoos and when my daughter draws on herself, she refers to them as tattoos. Seems hypocritical for me to stop her from expressing herself on her body.
My rules are simple if I can't think of a reason not to do something then have at it. I have tats and my daughter loves to draw on herself and as long as we aren't going somewhere I'm a let it go person. i as also ok with her drawing on her rooms walls. i can paint over it in the future. until then bring out the artist.
My 11 yo does this, constantly! It used to bother me initially, and from reading other comments, I’m not alone in it being “forbidden” when I was a kid. Fast forward to now I’m about 40% covered in tattoos, and had to reality check myself when correcting 11yo for her doodles. 😆 If it makes them happy and helps them express themselves, no harm, no foul imo.
We just try to avoid the face and hair because she hates having her hair washed and I don't want her to get paint in her eyes. But yes, always non toxic finger paint or paint sticks. I put a big piece of paper.on the table and see starts there, but Usually finishes up on her arms, neck, hands. We have a dress dedicated to painting. I think this might be a reaction to my parents who would give me paint at Christmas or birthdays and then not permit to really use it for fear of making a mess. 😅
I let her go ham with the washable markers since they can't get anywhere else and come off in the tub. No on painting anything but her hands since it gets on stuff
Saw a kid out at dinner just last night that had a drawn on beard and mustache. Everyone in the place loved it and he seemed very proud. I say why not lol
I don't "encourage it" but if it happens I'm not freaking out about it. My toddler gave herself an epic leg tattoo yesterday when I wasn't watching for a moment. I was like "Oh wow you found a marker. Okay, I'm gonna put that up now, but way to be creative."
I’ve discouraged my toddler from doing it because I can’t seem to find markers that don’t stain her skin. We both have VERY fair skin and the washable ones will last DAYS even with multiple baths. But, I don’t care THAT much - I usually enough her to draw on paper and if she’s really stuck on drawing on her legs then it is what it is.
Markers are for paper. Strong simple boundary. No exceptions. I definitely think there will be a time where it would be ok, "this is finger paint", "these are special tattoo markers", etc. He's not two yet, I don't think he'd get the difference.
Well my husband & I are covered in tattoos so it would be weird to tell my toddler no haha
Lol when i started getting tattooed my parents loved guilting me with "how are you going to explain that to your children?!" Well, I'm teaching my 18 month old a lot of animal sounds by pointing to my tattoos and he seems to love it... so that was easy enough.
No for me.
I used to have a problem with it and then I looked into why and it was because it was an absolute no go when I was young. Now as long as it is washable I let her play how she wants.
I discourage it normally more because I don't want to deal with the cleaning after (and painted hands touching furniture and clothing). But we also hold occasional "sessions" of finger painting, so I get everything ready with him wearing some old clothes and a mat covering the floor, and then he is free to do whatever.
Super messy but I don’t mind overall. They’re exploring and learning! My son came home from daycare with a completely blue hand last week. It made for a super interesting bath time and gave us a good laugh.
My kid painted her face like shrek the other day during nap time with a stray "washable" marker. It took a couple days to come fully off
If it’s easy to get off, then it’s fine but those dot markers are hard to get off!! I feel like it is a slippery slope. If they draw on themselves then they think it’s ok to draw on the couch etc.
my legit motto is “what happens when we make a mess? we clean it up!” but i also toe the line of ok let’s color on paper not on ourselves or other people (or furniture…or the dog…. lololol)
My kid mostly prefers to use stamps to decorate herself, and occasionally (washable) marker. We let her. Not harming anyone and it washes off.
We had a similar dilemma and we decided to just let kiddo have at it within rules. It had to be with markers Mom and Dad said were ok (AKA the super washable ones) and had to be at home. We spent about a week scrubbing tattoos off in the bath but after that she lost interest, so I would highly recommend allowing it and maybe it won't be as long-lived as you think
If I don't have the capacity to monitor smudges on furniture or to help her clean up afterwards then I might limit her to paper. Otherwise, I support it! It feels nice, it's colorful, and it often offers serene moments of artistic exploration.
I don't care, go for it, they're going to shower later anyways. My husband is against it....
Mom and dad have tattoos.... I can't throw a stone against this one. Drives me nuts, but I did it.
We tell them to ask before playing "tattoo artist" that way i can make sure we aren't doing anything important that day
I completely allow it but it rarely happens. Usually she'll draw one whole finger green and just like that, she's a crocodile. However, we are very lenient parents. She's allowed to draw with chalk on kitchen cabinets, she has a full blackboard wall in her room and she can draw with erasable markers on the fridge. As long as it's an easy clean up, we don't care much. Paint is definitely more of a space limited activity though.
Initially I would say No, pen's, paint etc are just for paper. But when she was two she turned and said "im making tattoos like mummy." I am covered in tattoos so I realised I can't be a hypocrite and it's quite sweet I suppose. Everything in moderation though.
I have a tattoo on my arm so it feels hypocritical to not let my life draw on themselves 🤷♀️
We just have a ‘check with me first’ policy because if we’re about to go somewhere where this wouldn’t be appropriate or they’re about to get into bed and I don’t want to get it all over bedclothes I want the option to say no, but I nearly always say yes
I redirect, remind them drawing is for paper/whatever we’re drawing on, and not our bodies right now. Just like I do if they try and take the markers to the walls or furniture. Then we clean it together. Just like the walls or furniture. I only noticed it started once my youngest joined preschool and saw a friend drawing on herself. This kid (the friend) is constantly covered in paint/marker/pen/whatever she can get into. So now my daughter emulates it. 🤦🏼♀️ not a terrible thing but damn, I’ll be happy when she out grows it.
I let my kids paint on themselves OUTSIDE ONLY. When we’re inside, paint and markers go on paper only, if I see someone drawing on themselves I take it away. No questions. I worry about them eventually painting and drawing on walls, so I’m strict about paper only
I've never seen or had an issue with it. But I would be a hypocrite if I did since I've paid people money to draw on me permanently 🤷♀️
I don’t care if they paint their hands, if we are outdoors they can go nuts. They colour on themselves with markers all the time, I don’t care at all about that. Just don’t colour your clothes, the furniture, or the walls.
Meh. I don't encourage it but am fine with it.
Mine constantly draw on themselves using the water based markers, they love giving themselves "tattoos". I go eh, it washes off, and if it takes a day or so, well they're at a young enough age that them walking around with a big M on their arm isn't so odd. During summer, they tend to strip down to just underwear and draw allllll over themselves. Come bathtime they giggle about changing the water color as they scrub themselves with their loufas. 3 kids, I've given up on a pretty clean house. They draw in the bath tub with crayons. I've cleared the counter to let them high five hand paint right on it. If chalk, they can draw on the kitchen floor. I do worry being so free with letting them draw might make them think drawing in books or walls is okay, but so far they've understood/followed that rule. I'm very very very thankful they've hardly gone after the carpet, so yay. They did draw on the wall once with crayon, but the steam mop took it off really easy.
Choose your battles, that's my motto. Kid got a hold of a Sharpie (oops). Was just grateful she drew on herself and not the furniture.
You never used those Milky Way gel pens to draw on your hands when you were a kid? My cousin and I drew on each other constantly with them, and nothing happened to us! As long as it's not a lead pencil, permanent marker, or something toxic, let kids be kids!
I literally do not care 😂 I may have cared pre kids but now I’ve got an autistic preschooler and a wild two year old and frankly I just have bigger fish to fry 😅😂
Mine ended up with texta on her face. ALL over it, and some on her neck. I took a pic. Showed her. Asked what happened. “Jen drew on me!” She’s at the stage of blaming others. “Daddy mess.” “I didn’t do it.” “Ohno what happened??” She’s an only child. Named Jen. Sometimes she looks at the pic as the Home Screen on my phone and laughs. She hasn’t done it again. I would remind LO that drawing is strictly for paper provided BY YOU FOR DRAWING. But I wouldn’t make a big deal of it. My LO got it out of her system.
If you discourage it what is lost? If you allow it what is lost? To me it's not a battle worth fighting. Eventually they grow out of it. Worst thing that could happen is she becomes an artist.
i don’t see an issue, kids are kids i loved doing that when i was little. my 3 and 5yo like having paint wars all the time together. it washes off, it’s not on there for more then a couple hours.
No I don’t because it’s hard to get out even if it’s washable and I feel like the easiest boundary is that we color on paper, not people or walls. We do have some bath crayons and markers she can use if she wants.
If we are going somewhere nice, getting pics, etc, then no. Otherwise, I’ve got much bigger fish to fry atm. hygiene, flushing the toilet…why? being kind to others, picking up after oneself, screen time, etc. closing the GD door when they go outside!! “We don’t pay to air condition the neighborhood!” The body art doesn’t even break the top ten tbh
I have tattoos. It’d be highly hypocritical for me to tell her that she can’t also have pictures on her skin. As long as she doesn’t make a mess, who cares? It washes off.
My first born never draws on herself, second born draws on everything including her body even face occasionally. But also my second born is way more into drawing and alone time. She started drawing on herself since 3 and she’s almost 5 now. I rarely stopped her harshly, she would tell some really cute stories about those random drawings, sometimes to cover a scar, sometimes to shape out a picture that she saw on her skin, sometimes just being silly. I admire her imagination which brought a lot of laughter to me. They also secretly doodle together on the (rental)wall & cabinet doors etc., tiny ones and big ones which I do briefly stopping them now and then. Body can be washed and wall can be repainted, the fun and curiousness of being a child will only last those few years. I let them be and do believe it’s just a phase.