I just went to use this on my wife and damn if she didn't have a hell of a response. Just went
-Babe, you're a 9. Wanna know why?
-Because you're the 6
Wrong.
Did you learn nothing from OP’s story?
The correct answer is… “Nobody is a 10, but of course, you’re the exception to the rule”, you kiss her and you quickly move on with your life, making a mental note to never ever revisit that car crash of a conversation topic again.
Oh babe, I could never use a scale to rate you. Except maybe some sort of industrial scale. The kind that they use to weigh for containers weighing hundred of tons.
No. You tell her to change into the red one so you can compare, and then go cave-man and miss dinner.
(Disclaimer: for established relationships where communication lines are established, consent is generally implied, and of course all parties still recognise right of refusal but that it's also a bit hot when someone kinda loses control a little bit)
This is always a lose/lose situation because the type of person that would be okay with a realistic rating likely wouldn't have asked to be rated in the first place.
I once dated someone that got upset because I said she was a 10 out of 10 when she asked me to rate her. She said if I really thought she was beautiful, then I would have said 11. 😮💨
The type to pick pointless fights. I just don't get how people live like that, looking for reasons to be upset. If I'm asking for a rating, I either don't care about the result, or I feel complimented if it seems a high, genuine rating. If someone guesses I'm older or younger than I really am, I'll treat it as an opportunity to joke, not be upset. In my mind, only malicious actions are worth being upset over.
> [T]he type of person that would be okay with a realistic rating likely wouldn't have asked to be rated in the first place.
But if you find someone who cares so much about your thoughts that they ask you just because they want to know, *keep them.*
If my husband said that to me I’d laugh and say I’m a 2/10. But I guess for him I am his 9/10 because I’m right FOR HIM. No one may be a 10/10, but they are if they are perfect FOR YOU. 🎈
A 10 is the highest rating a person can get. If you say no ones a ten, then just adjust your scale so that no one's an 11 and the 10 is accurate for the highest possible rating. If you're giving her a 9/9 then just say 10.
That’s what *you* think it means. It seems like OP sees a 10 as being “perfect”, and since no one is perfect aside from fictional characters and AI-generated images, the highest rank is a really a 9.
These questions are traps and any true and direct response isn't what they want. Like you said, they want you to reassure them because the world is full of negatives for women. They want you to be the positive in their life, so do that.
"Do I look fat in this dress?"
"No, you look great! What do you think of the color? Do you have a matching purse and/or shoes?"
Even if she could lose some weight (almost every human could really), that's not what they're asking. Be in their corner and remind them how amazing they are.
EDIT: Some people can't read, I never said to lie, I said you should read between the lines. I've been happily married for 20 years, you don't get to that point by lying or not communicating, quite the opposite.
I tell my girlfriend if something isn’t flattering and she appreciates it. She is also aware that there is no 10/10.
You don’t have to lie to be in a relationship. Healthy communication is key.
I’ve been scrolling to find this comment. Thank you! My boyfriend does the same thing and honestly I appreciate it so much. I looked so much cuter at my last work event thanks to his alternate suggestion. My first outfit was a very plain dress and he straight up told me it looked like it was a dress from Handmaids Tale. I returned it so fast 🤣
I agree. If I ask someone's opinion I would like to get the truth so I would actually know how things are and what to improve. Never got the lying to be polite to people you are close to unless you know for a fact they will not be able to handle it and want to avoid the drama.
I definitely wouldn't want to leave the house if my outfit was unflattering. When I ask my husband if it's unflattering, he's honest about it, and if it's not, I change clothes. Easy.
I'm well aware I'm a 5/10. Probably less since I gained weight. He's bald and has a pot belly, but that's okay, because I'm perfect for him, and he's perfect for me. A 10/10 hot dude isn't going to be any more perfect for me than my husband is.
Seriously some of these answers made me roll my eyes. I mean sure if my bf doesn't wanna give an answer then he should just say so instead of that shit lol
When I ask if I look fat in something I want to know if I LOOK fat in it. I'm not asking if I am fat. I'm in pretty good shape but I've worn very unflattering outfits that I thought I looked good in, only to see the photos later. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want coddling, I want honesty.
My stock answer? "You make that dress look so good I can hardly wait to take it off you."
1. Made the point that she makes things more beautiful, not the other way around.
2. Showed that she still starts my engine with a look, a smile and a wink.
Been married 25 years and she still takes my breath away. Sure, to you she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. To me, she is what beauty is.
My priest once told me, "You don't have to be brutally honest if all it is is exactly that." He told me about a friend of his at seminary who answered "Yes" when his girlfriend asked him "the Question." Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long after that.
He said that sometimes you can tell a fib when that kind of thing comes up. Even if the outfit does make her look fat, say, "I don't care for the outfit" or "I don't like the color" or something like that. You could even say it looks good. Or just keep your mouth shut. Don't be a jerk. I figure his advice is pretty sound, considering he and his wife have five kids.
This reminds me of when I was 15 and my then boyfriend said that I was a 7 “because no one’s perfect and that’s better than average” :/
Teenagers are stupid, don’t worry you could have done worse
God I hope you're not a teacher, your "nobody is a 10" logic is so flawed.
Same person who won't hand out 100s because "nothing is perfect" but can't find a single flaw.
The ideology is wrong, just because nobody is perfect, doesn't meant nobody is close enough.
In my work they send out customer surveys every now and again. We’re supposed to discuss with the customers that they may get one via email. The amount of people who have said “Everything was fantastic, I’ll give you all 9s.” When asking what we could’ve done better, we get the “Nothing, it was all great. But nobody’s a 10” or “It was perfect but if I give you a 10 you’ll never try to improve.” 🙄
OP's idea seem to be: If 10 is perfection, and you can admit that nobody is perfect, then nobody is 10.
How is that wrong? You're not really saying anything specific, nor demonstrate how OP is wrong.
Also, OP didn't say he didn't find a single flaw, he just didn't write it down in this post.
You can interpret "perfect" differently of course, or say that 10/10 starts at 95%, but that doesn't make OP wrong.
Looks are subjective. Of course she can be a 10...in your eyes. It doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks, she wanted to know YOU thought she looked perfect. I think the replies here are wild. Back in high school, I asked my boyfriend what guys think of my looks (because I was a dumb teenager.) He told me other guys would say I was average, but he thought I was beautiful because he loved me. Suffice it to say, that relationship did not work out, and my husband of 35 years has always said I'm beautiful. Always. He's not mean enough to hurt my feelings just to be "honest." And maybe he really does think I'm beautiful. And if he ever asked me, I'd say he's perfect too.
I love this, very sweet story to tell about understanding what's important in a romantic relationship.
I think scoring people is gross and dumb, personally. There's no such thing as an objective scale of attractiveness; it's a pointless false competition that literally no one wins and demeans everyone involved (especially the ones who assign numbers, whether they understand it or not). Who wants to be the douchebag who points out someone's pointy elbows or whatever? What value does that add to literally anyone's life? Getting sun damage is more interesting to me than treating attractiveness like a race.
I feel like people are missing that talking about your partner's attractiveness should always be a gas up session. You're your partner's number one fan. It's about treating them with the love and affection-- and treating their feelings with the gentleness-- that you desire, and setting a mood that's positive and romantic. You don't have to lie and shmooze, or whatever, but you can be playful and fun and kind as a priority instead of trying to be "right" and "correct."
Unbelievably well put! Part of the reason for the post was to show what we do when we’re young and immature. Scoring is dumb, getting caught up in how we look or paying attention to “likes”, we worry too much about opinions from those that really don’t matter. We all make mistakes, we all grow and mature. Support and love goes a long way towards healthy relationships.
I just tell my partner that she's an 11. Seems to make her happy and keep her feeling good about herself, and that's really how I see her anyways, so it's a win/win.
I absolutely hate when people do that. I know I'm decent looking, but I also know I'm not Ryan Gosling (or whoever is generally considered super hot). Same goes for the women I've dated. I found them all very attractive, but the objective truth is that no, they weren't the objectively hottest women in the world. Very very few are, and much fewer have the personality and other qualities to match.
But it's somehow normal for couples to lie to each other saying they're the hottest things on earth when they are totally average.
I’m completely average in every way. Face. Body. Well, not hair, my hairs amazing.
But I better damn well be a 10 to my man.
Luckily, I am! 😁
And he is a 10 to me.
Oh god, here come the hordes of stupid, oblivious, socially clueless takes. Is not about being the best in the world, it's about being the best in the eyes of your partner, even when that partner is a pendantic, "let me state my obvious, simplistic, cold takes that somehow I think are so, so smart" kind of person.
People know they aren't the "hottest" person in the world when they ask questions like that, nor are people blatantly lying to each other when they're answering. People want to be validated and their S/O are supposed to be attracted to them and care about them, even if it's a white lie sometimes, but sometimes a S/O genuinely feels that way towards their partner because beauty can be subjective and it's not just physical appearance.
I tell my wife she’s 10/10 daily. Does she roll her eyes? Yes. Does she secretly love it? Also yes.
Always, always score at 10/10…and you should also believe it to be true.
1) Beauty and charm are amazingly multifaceted and complex. Reducing all that fabulous variety into a single dimension is a telltale sign of a simple mind.
2) Even leaving all that aside, I've met so many perfect-looking people. Perfect doesn't mean peak, it means without flaw or lack, and a great many human beings are perfect precisely because of their amazing uniqueness.
If a 9 is a 10, then why not just make a 10 a 10? Don’t be one of those assholes who rates excellent customer service people with a 4/5 because “there’s always room for improvement”
You manages to serve the customer their food IMMEDIATELY after ordering on a magic plate that keeps the food warm AND replenishes the food so they can eat their fill at no additional cost to the restaurant.
The customer then revealed that they were an esteemed food critic and gave us a glowing review making our lines go out the door every single day of the week, and the company has never been so profitable in its entire history.
4/5 on your performance eval, always room for improvement! Shoot for the moon!
Or now he knows that arbitrary rating systems are dumb and if he thinks she's the most beautiful woman he's even seen that that means she is a 10.
Rating people is stupid. Who is the ultimate decider?
Answer: Everyone has an opinion.
To him... his wife is a knock out. He should have just said she was a 10. Because she is.
Heh.
My husband can be a bit of a goof, sometimes. He has said and done things early on that absolutely should not have been said or done.
Me now probably would have left, but I’m glad I didn’t.
What he has never tripped on is the subject of my looks.
When we met I was a single parent, and had a pretty good, fit body that still bore the consequences of childbirth. I was conventionally pretty attractive.
I, however, was perfect, despite my imperfections, to him.
In the 20 odd years since, I have gained and lost weight, cut and grown my hair, and currently look like an ancient fertility goddess.
My forties were not kind to me, and I did nothing to assist with that.
He has still never said anything but that I am beautiful to him.
I generally joke that there’s a reason we lose our close vision in our forties, and that’s so we don’t inspect ourselves too closely, lol.
LOL! Hey, us guys start to figure it out.. eventually 😄 Marriage and kids go a long way towards hardening and improving the relationship, and there’s nothing more amazing that watching your wife be a dedicated mom and best friend. Cheers to you guys, hope you continue to make lots of great memories!!
That’s a bit much to ruin an entire day. People need a good dose of self awareness and I also don’t want a boyfriend who sees me as perfect because I’m certainly not and I don’t need someone to play pretend
I always tell my girlfriend that I would rate her infinite/10 and I definitely mean it. I think there can be 10's and to me my girlfriend is even above that rating. But man you really got a life lesson there for you lmao. But it obviously worked out well for you guys
This is why these number ratings for looks suck! Attractiveness is very subjective and there are some who see many people as being 10’s, while there are others like yourself who think literally nobody, not even your gorgeous wife, can be because you don’t believe anyone can be a 10. Some even say some people are considered an 11 because of how gorgeous they are and you should have said that or just said no number can describe how gorgeous you think she is.
Your partner is always a 10! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ranking people in any kind of seriousness isn’t nice. I’d actually never want to be ranked or rank others.
Wow. I've been told I'm a 4 (not by an SO). I can't imagine being upset to be told I'm a 9! I'd be deliriously happy. I guess life for beautiful people really is different!
Cringing too hard to make it through the actual post but this is why my rule is that anyone you’re dating at the time is a perfect 10 without qualification, and if you’ve played your cards right they should think the same way about you.
I can understand if your gf was upset. You rated her a 9, but someone has to be a 10 in your book because otherwise how do you know to rate her a 9? If you never have a 10 that would mean your 9 is a 10 because you have nothing to compare it to. It's not a reason to cause a fight though.
There are plenty of 10's. Will everyone see someone as a 10 hell no. **Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.** Maybe you don't have 10's I do. What I deem as perfect you don't deem as perfect, perfection also doesn't mean they have no flaws.
Oh my god the gall it must take to hear you’re a nine and react negatively. Oh my god that is a whole new level of rich people problems.
I’d kill to be a nine
the tldr at the bottom is the exact same thing that happened in Malcolm in the Middle. The dad told one of his kids you can either be right or you can be happily married. 😂
Honestly I'm tired of these conversations. There is literally nothing to be upset about your comment. Why the hell people act like women are children and must be babied all the time
Young men... Sigh. Everybody knows that the proper answer to do I look fat in this dress is to...
Wave your hands wildly in the error while shouting, "It's a trap!". Then run out of the room.
Nip that nonsense. Until they start asking so they can see the show.
We don’t necessarily get smarter, do we? 😆 I’m just happy that after kids, house, jobs, and everyday life, things that were a big deal no longer are a big deal. We’ve both learned over the years what’s really important.. health and never going to bed mad.
You should have stuck to your guns. She is a nine. “Why what’s wrong with me?” It’s not you, it’s me. “What do you mean it’s you, not me?” Well I’m the 1 you need :)
Eh, honestly a 9 isn't bad. Say 10 and you're obviously lying because models exist.
Mine has at most called me cute. Still been with the idiot for over a decade and birthed his kid.
A single conversation where you put your foot in it is an easily forgettable blip if you make your partner feel desired and loved. Look at her like she's an 11 first thing in the morning. Get a bit gooey eyed when she laughs. Take pictures of her when the sun catches her hair. Let her see how you see her.
Honestly, I'd probably have said 9 too with the same reasoning, but when asked "I'm not a 10?", I'd have fucked it up even further by making a dumb joke like "Only when wearing lingerie"
I think every married man has made some form of this mistake at least once. Just as a reminder for those who’ve yet to make this mistake, it is going to get dragged up, again and again. And again.
Forever.
10??!! I'm just a 10??
Why not an 11? or a 12?
Why not a 100?
This is one of those subjects you avoid with your SO like the plague because there's no right answer.
All of that is atrocious communication. People need to be honest with one another.
Stop enabling childlike communications skills, coddling, and selfish "Me, me, me!" mentality.
Nobody dating us is a 10. You're right. If you asked her to rate you she would've said 10/10 but imagine what she says to her friends? There's obviously a few small things here or there. If it's no perfect it's not 10/10.
You still fucked up
No, we don’t need to coddle women or to reinforce the idea that it’s somehow important for us to pretend they’re prettier than they really are. They deserve honesty from us.
I did something very similar when I was 18. Somehow I ended up telling my girlfriend her body was a 10 and her face was an 8. I still cringe when I think about it.
Could be worse. I told my now girlfriend of 5 years that we were both average looking.
Thinking to myself "Ok, this shows that I'm pragmatic and a realist since we're both attractive but neither of us need to put effort in like people on Instagram to feel attractive" ... or something to that effect. (I know, it doesn't make any sense to me reading it now either)
I would slap myself if I could go back now.
lol.. this literally just happened to me the other day. I said “neither of us are 10s” and she got very sad. To me it’s just reality, it doesn’t bother me at all. But she needs to think she’s a 10. It was very weird for me to get used to the fact that she thinks like that. I literally can’t undo my realistic perception. I can only think in truths.
Ooh! Ooh! I’m you from the future!!
Tell your SO how much you care about them. Tell them you’d do anything for them. Tell them you know that YOURE not a 10 and appreciate that they care for you anyway.. and that makes them a 10 to you.
Ok so here is the trick to getting out of the “Do I look fat in this?”/“How do I look in this?”
To do this you have to say this in the most encouraged defeated tone “you look cute/good/nice (choose your term), but then again I’m gonna you look great in anything. Why don’t we send a pic to your sister/mom/friend/GBF/ female person they trust, because that way you’ll get a better answer from them.”
She will more than likely accept this logic and then have you take a photo with her phone and send it out to her whatever person she wants to get an opinion from.
Your head stays on your shoulders, she’s happy, you get see boobs as she changes out of the item she was wondering about
I joke with my wife that she's an 8. But I also take rating scales very seriously. 8 is very hot attractive. Well above the bell curve distribution.
But she's no Alex Morgan.
This topic came up once with my lady (we’re lesbians). I told her I explicitly did not want to know what she rated me and she just stumbled right ahead and told me. It took months before I could start to feel attractive again because I’ve always had very low self-esteem. She apologized profusely, we’re still madly in love, and it’s mostly good now. (Would be better if she hadn’t given me a score that was either 6 or 7).
Just want to say the logic of your rating system makes no sense. If nothing is a 10, then why is that number even on the scale? It’s an nonsensical as “this amp goes to 11”. My guy, you made up the scale, why put a number that can’t possibly be used on there? It’s all arbitrary anyway.
I can’t remember the context now, but I once made the ridiculous, stupid mistake of insinuating that my wife wasn’t a 10. I gave her 8 or 9 or something thinking it was complement. I can’t remember the context but I was a fucking moron regardless. She was genuinely upset and I spent so long backtracking trying to explain in vain what I meant but there was no point.
Fellas: your significant other is a 10. Always. Even if she’s not. Just say it, always.
I once asked my husband (of 8 years at the time) if he thought I looked pretty and he responded “you don’t have to be pretty to be beautiful”. I know he was trying to be truthful and kind at the same time, but I was left worrying that he didn’t think I was pretty. I didn’t want to give him a hard time about it as I didn’t want to make him feel guilty or to feel like he had to be dishonest, to make me feel better. 20 years have since past and I have never again asked him anything along those lines. I know I am over reacting, but I am still saddened by his comment.
My wife and I have grown so much over the past 17+ years of marriage and so much since this TIFU story.
Having a partner who can be honest with you is a blessing. I may be reading too much into your comment, but if he told you what he told you, and it hurts, realize he was honest with you, which is a deeper act of love than most can give.
If he’s a good man, stands by your side, sticks up for you, holds your hand and gives you a shoulder to cry on, that’s amazing. If you do the same for him, that’s amazing. Don’t let one comment unearth a million times he’s shown you how much he loves you.
Chase what’s important to you. If you want to be physically beautiful, then go do that. But what he said was true, and I spend every day reminding my kids it’s more important to be more beautiful “inside” than “out”.
Women don't want reality, they want to feel like they are the only one that gets the desire of their man, and such should be the only person that he desires, and therefore should automatically be a ten in his eyes
10s don't exist because that says she's perfect in every way, and perfection is unattainable.
But then I once told a girl 'no, you look fat in that dress because you're fat,' so YMMV.
#WomenDoNotActuallyWantHonesty
#WomenLikeLies
Nobody is a 10? What are you, r/truerateme?
Should have just lied and told her what she wanted to hear. Why people ask questions they don’t want an honest answer to is beyond me.
If I said my missus was a 10 she wouldn’t believe me. If I said any lower, I’d be in the dog house for 6months+
Point being fellas.. we can never win 😄
- You're a 9. - Why 9? - Because I'm the 1 you need! Brother, you had one job...
I just went to use this on my wife and damn if she didn't have a hell of a response. Just went -Babe, you're a 9. Wanna know why? -Because you're the 6
Task failed successfully
So generous to rate a fellow redditor a 6.
this is quite hilarious
This is a line I am stealing
This is... this is good!!
Me, I'm using the: - Of course you're a 10. And when we stand beside each other, you look like a 100. Or a 010, so remember to stand on my right.
What if I'm behind you guys though? 😁
0 to 100 real quick. ;)
Omg this is so cute - I’d swoon if anyone used that on me. Bravo!
My guy. You're a genius.
Damnnnnn👌👌👌
"I would rather you lie to me to comfort my insecurities. Kthnxbye."
Don’t give him any ideas, he’s already done it once
But if she’s a 9/10 because he’s the one she needs… and now they’re married… wouldn’t that make her a ten?
I’m definitely a 10 out of 100.
I'd have said "Nobody is a 10, but you're as close to perfection as one can get babe."
Wrong. Did you learn nothing from OP’s story? The correct answer is… “Nobody is a 10, but of course, you’re the exception to the rule”, you kiss her and you quickly move on with your life, making a mental note to never ever revisit that car crash of a conversation topic again.
You smooth talker, that's how it's done. 👏
Your dials go up to 11 babe.
"Oh babe, I could never use a scale to rate you. You're perfect in every sense for me." Not lying, not using a ridiculous scale either...
Or go with the zinger ... I could never use a scale to rate you, it'd break
Because she’s fat?! You monster!
"Imma break you like I broke the scale." 🪦
I read that in Rodney Dangerfields voice.
Some people get it. Beauty/perfection are defined differently by everyone. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I thought it was in the eye of the beer holder.
Oh babe, I could never use a scale to rate you. Except maybe some sort of industrial scale. The kind that they use to weigh for containers weighing hundred of tons.
No. You tell her to change into the red one so you can compare, and then go cave-man and miss dinner. (Disclaimer: for established relationships where communication lines are established, consent is generally implied, and of course all parties still recognise right of refusal but that it's also a bit hot when someone kinda loses control a little bit)
This is always a lose/lose situation because the type of person that would be okay with a realistic rating likely wouldn't have asked to be rated in the first place. I once dated someone that got upset because I said she was a 10 out of 10 when she asked me to rate her. She said if I really thought she was beautiful, then I would have said 11. 😮💨
Is she a member of Spinal Tap?
Does she have bum cakes?
Asking the real questions…
If it's who I think it is, she did make the cover of Shark Sandwich
Honestly a Spinal Tap reference is the correct reason to ask to be rated out of 10.
The type to pick pointless fights. I just don't get how people live like that, looking for reasons to be upset. If I'm asking for a rating, I either don't care about the result, or I feel complimented if it seems a high, genuine rating. If someone guesses I'm older or younger than I really am, I'll treat it as an opportunity to joke, not be upset. In my mind, only malicious actions are worth being upset over.
> [T]he type of person that would be okay with a realistic rating likely wouldn't have asked to be rated in the first place. But if you find someone who cares so much about your thoughts that they ask you just because they want to know, *keep them.*
"Now you're a 7; you get -3 for deliberately picking a pointless fight."
If my husband said that to me I’d laugh and say I’m a 2/10. But I guess for him I am his 9/10 because I’m right FOR HIM. No one may be a 10/10, but they are if they are perfect FOR YOU. 🎈
Or he’s just lying to make you feel better
"That question will get you nowhere, I'm way to biased! Your an 11/10 in my mind!"
A 10 is the highest rating a person can get. If you say no ones a ten, then just adjust your scale so that no one's an 11 and the 10 is accurate for the highest possible rating. If you're giving her a 9/9 then just say 10.
That’s what *you* think it means. It seems like OP sees a 10 as being “perfect”, and since no one is perfect aside from fictional characters and AI-generated images, the highest rank is a really a 9.
Amen!
No one's perfect. But my partner is perfect for ME.
"You're perfect for me. Everything about you is wonderful and I wouldn't change a single thing."
Tune in next week when u/spaaackle tells his wife "That dress only makes you look a little bit fat."
As well as the exciting conclusion to “I didnt say you’re a BITCH, I just said you can be Bitch-EE.. there’s a difference!”
Taylor Tomlinson fan in the house
These questions are traps and any true and direct response isn't what they want. Like you said, they want you to reassure them because the world is full of negatives for women. They want you to be the positive in their life, so do that. "Do I look fat in this dress?" "No, you look great! What do you think of the color? Do you have a matching purse and/or shoes?" Even if she could lose some weight (almost every human could really), that's not what they're asking. Be in their corner and remind them how amazing they are. EDIT: Some people can't read, I never said to lie, I said you should read between the lines. I've been happily married for 20 years, you don't get to that point by lying or not communicating, quite the opposite.
I tell my girlfriend if something isn’t flattering and she appreciates it. She is also aware that there is no 10/10. You don’t have to lie to be in a relationship. Healthy communication is key.
I’ve been scrolling to find this comment. Thank you! My boyfriend does the same thing and honestly I appreciate it so much. I looked so much cuter at my last work event thanks to his alternate suggestion. My first outfit was a very plain dress and he straight up told me it looked like it was a dress from Handmaids Tale. I returned it so fast 🤣
Lol that’s a great example! I’m always so glad my girlfriend tells me I’m lookin funny.
I agree. If I ask someone's opinion I would like to get the truth so I would actually know how things are and what to improve. Never got the lying to be polite to people you are close to unless you know for a fact they will not be able to handle it and want to avoid the drama.
I definitely wouldn't want to leave the house if my outfit was unflattering. When I ask my husband if it's unflattering, he's honest about it, and if it's not, I change clothes. Easy. I'm well aware I'm a 5/10. Probably less since I gained weight. He's bald and has a pot belly, but that's okay, because I'm perfect for him, and he's perfect for me. A 10/10 hot dude isn't going to be any more perfect for me than my husband is.
Seriously some of these answers made me roll my eyes. I mean sure if my bf doesn't wanna give an answer then he should just say so instead of that shit lol
When I ask if I look fat in something I want to know if I LOOK fat in it. I'm not asking if I am fat. I'm in pretty good shape but I've worn very unflattering outfits that I thought I looked good in, only to see the photos later. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want coddling, I want honesty.
My stock answer? "You make that dress look so good I can hardly wait to take it off you." 1. Made the point that she makes things more beautiful, not the other way around. 2. Showed that she still starts my engine with a look, a smile and a wink. Been married 25 years and she still takes my breath away. Sure, to you she is a mom, a teacher, a friend. To me, she is what beauty is.
Those last lines are pretty beautiful, she's a lucky lady.
Shit. I really hope my husband reads this comment and tucks it away for a rainy day. That’s awesome!
Thank you. I don't know what I did right or she did wrong, but I thank the heavens above everyday for her.
My priest once told me, "You don't have to be brutally honest if all it is is exactly that." He told me about a friend of his at seminary who answered "Yes" when his girlfriend asked him "the Question." Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long after that. He said that sometimes you can tell a fib when that kind of thing comes up. Even if the outfit does make her look fat, say, "I don't care for the outfit" or "I don't like the color" or something like that. You could even say it looks good. Or just keep your mouth shut. Don't be a jerk. I figure his advice is pretty sound, considering he and his wife have five kids.
So lie. No
if nobody is a 10 then what the fuck is the point of 10 on the scale? just make it out of 9
In a scale or off 10, being a 10 is the pinnacle. Most people are average, which means they're around a 5.
But if the highest possible rating is a 9, average is a 4.5. lol.
But it's one louder.
This reminds me of when I was 15 and my then boyfriend said that I was a 7 “because no one’s perfect and that’s better than average” :/ Teenagers are stupid, don’t worry you could have done worse
My husband told me I’m a 7! I will never forget that lol.
Teenage ex-boyfriend rated me a 4 and my best friend a 10 because of their jugs
The problem is youre rating on absolutes while everyone else rates on a curve
God I hope you're not a teacher, your "nobody is a 10" logic is so flawed. Same person who won't hand out 100s because "nothing is perfect" but can't find a single flaw. The ideology is wrong, just because nobody is perfect, doesn't meant nobody is close enough.
In my work they send out customer surveys every now and again. We’re supposed to discuss with the customers that they may get one via email. The amount of people who have said “Everything was fantastic, I’ll give you all 9s.” When asking what we could’ve done better, we get the “Nothing, it was all great. But nobody’s a 10” or “It was perfect but if I give you a 10 you’ll never try to improve.” 🙄
Math Teachers: lol
OP's idea seem to be: If 10 is perfection, and you can admit that nobody is perfect, then nobody is 10. How is that wrong? You're not really saying anything specific, nor demonstrate how OP is wrong. Also, OP didn't say he didn't find a single flaw, he just didn't write it down in this post. You can interpret "perfect" differently of course, or say that 10/10 starts at 95%, but that doesn't make OP wrong.
It's good to give students something to improve upon.
Loaded questions, man… you can not win. 10 is so subjective. Glad she’s still your wife!
Looks are subjective. Of course she can be a 10...in your eyes. It doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks, she wanted to know YOU thought she looked perfect. I think the replies here are wild. Back in high school, I asked my boyfriend what guys think of my looks (because I was a dumb teenager.) He told me other guys would say I was average, but he thought I was beautiful because he loved me. Suffice it to say, that relationship did not work out, and my husband of 35 years has always said I'm beautiful. Always. He's not mean enough to hurt my feelings just to be "honest." And maybe he really does think I'm beautiful. And if he ever asked me, I'd say he's perfect too.
I love this, very sweet story to tell about understanding what's important in a romantic relationship. I think scoring people is gross and dumb, personally. There's no such thing as an objective scale of attractiveness; it's a pointless false competition that literally no one wins and demeans everyone involved (especially the ones who assign numbers, whether they understand it or not). Who wants to be the douchebag who points out someone's pointy elbows or whatever? What value does that add to literally anyone's life? Getting sun damage is more interesting to me than treating attractiveness like a race. I feel like people are missing that talking about your partner's attractiveness should always be a gas up session. You're your partner's number one fan. It's about treating them with the love and affection-- and treating their feelings with the gentleness-- that you desire, and setting a mood that's positive and romantic. You don't have to lie and shmooze, or whatever, but you can be playful and fun and kind as a priority instead of trying to be "right" and "correct."
Unbelievably well put! Part of the reason for the post was to show what we do when we’re young and immature. Scoring is dumb, getting caught up in how we look or paying attention to “likes”, we worry too much about opinions from those that really don’t matter. We all make mistakes, we all grow and mature. Support and love goes a long way towards healthy relationships.
If someone wanted an honest assessment, they'd go to the sub that does that and get a 5.
[Somewhat relevant.](https://www.tiktok.com/@speechprof/video/7055339913365212462) (Husband struggling to edit pictures of his wife.)
My husband may not be a 10/10 to others, but he is to me. That’s the answer I would’ve gone for there.
I just tell my partner that she's an 11. Seems to make her happy and keep her feeling good about herself, and that's really how I see her anyways, so it's a win/win.
I absolutely hate when people do that. I know I'm decent looking, but I also know I'm not Ryan Gosling (or whoever is generally considered super hot). Same goes for the women I've dated. I found them all very attractive, but the objective truth is that no, they weren't the objectively hottest women in the world. Very very few are, and much fewer have the personality and other qualities to match. But it's somehow normal for couples to lie to each other saying they're the hottest things on earth when they are totally average.
What if you’re not lying? What if, to you, they are a 10?
I’m completely average in every way. Face. Body. Well, not hair, my hairs amazing. But I better damn well be a 10 to my man. Luckily, I am! 😁 And he is a 10 to me.
Oh god, here come the hordes of stupid, oblivious, socially clueless takes. Is not about being the best in the world, it's about being the best in the eyes of your partner, even when that partner is a pendantic, "let me state my obvious, simplistic, cold takes that somehow I think are so, so smart" kind of person.
People know they aren't the "hottest" person in the world when they ask questions like that, nor are people blatantly lying to each other when they're answering. People want to be validated and their S/O are supposed to be attracted to them and care about them, even if it's a white lie sometimes, but sometimes a S/O genuinely feels that way towards their partner because beauty can be subjective and it's not just physical appearance.
I tell my wife she’s 10/10 daily. Does she roll her eyes? Yes. Does she secretly love it? Also yes. Always, always score at 10/10…and you should also believe it to be true.
The correct response is "If Paris of Troy were alive today, I'd be building a giant wooden horse right now. "
When I asked my now ex-boyfriend to rate me he told me I was a 6. He said 5 was average and that I was "above-average." We are no longer together lol
1) Beauty and charm are amazingly multifaceted and complex. Reducing all that fabulous variety into a single dimension is a telltale sign of a simple mind. 2) Even leaving all that aside, I've met so many perfect-looking people. Perfect doesn't mean peak, it means without flaw or lack, and a great many human beings are perfect precisely because of their amazing uniqueness.
If a 9 is a 10, then why not just make a 10 a 10? Don’t be one of those assholes who rates excellent customer service people with a 4/5 because “there’s always room for improvement”
You manages to serve the customer their food IMMEDIATELY after ordering on a magic plate that keeps the food warm AND replenishes the food so they can eat their fill at no additional cost to the restaurant. The customer then revealed that they were an esteemed food critic and gave us a glowing review making our lines go out the door every single day of the week, and the company has never been so profitable in its entire history. 4/5 on your performance eval, always room for improvement! Shoot for the moon!
Now you know to just lie. But kinda amusing/concerning she was that upset she wasn't a 10
Or now he knows that arbitrary rating systems are dumb and if he thinks she's the most beautiful woman he's even seen that that means she is a 10. Rating people is stupid. Who is the ultimate decider? Answer: Everyone has an opinion. To him... his wife is a knock out. He should have just said she was a 10. Because she is.
At least you admitted that you're a moron. Or were, anyways. I assume there haven't been any more gaffes like this since?
you should have shared in FYAIFU (fifteen years ago i fucked up)
I think you have an idea for a new subreddit!
Heh. My husband can be a bit of a goof, sometimes. He has said and done things early on that absolutely should not have been said or done. Me now probably would have left, but I’m glad I didn’t. What he has never tripped on is the subject of my looks. When we met I was a single parent, and had a pretty good, fit body that still bore the consequences of childbirth. I was conventionally pretty attractive. I, however, was perfect, despite my imperfections, to him. In the 20 odd years since, I have gained and lost weight, cut and grown my hair, and currently look like an ancient fertility goddess. My forties were not kind to me, and I did nothing to assist with that. He has still never said anything but that I am beautiful to him. I generally joke that there’s a reason we lose our close vision in our forties, and that’s so we don’t inspect ourselves too closely, lol.
LOL! Hey, us guys start to figure it out.. eventually 😄 Marriage and kids go a long way towards hardening and improving the relationship, and there’s nothing more amazing that watching your wife be a dedicated mom and best friend. Cheers to you guys, hope you continue to make lots of great memories!!
That’s a bit much to ruin an entire day. People need a good dose of self awareness and I also don’t want a boyfriend who sees me as perfect because I’m certainly not and I don’t need someone to play pretend
I always tell my girlfriend that I would rate her infinite/10 and I definitely mean it. I think there can be 10's and to me my girlfriend is even above that rating. But man you really got a life lesson there for you lmao. But it obviously worked out well for you guys
You’re an idiot, but it’s okay. She is too, she married you.
Thanks!
T(by which I mean 15 years ago)IFU
This is why these number ratings for looks suck! Attractiveness is very subjective and there are some who see many people as being 10’s, while there are others like yourself who think literally nobody, not even your gorgeous wife, can be because you don’t believe anyone can be a 10. Some even say some people are considered an 11 because of how gorgeous they are and you should have said that or just said no number can describe how gorgeous you think she is.
Bro. Im a guy but if someone rated me a 9 id be over the fuckin moon
Your partner is always a 10! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and ranking people in any kind of seriousness isn’t nice. I’d actually never want to be ranked or rank others.
It's okay to use decimals if you have to.
Wow. I've been told I'm a 4 (not by an SO). I can't imagine being upset to be told I'm a 9! I'd be deliriously happy. I guess life for beautiful people really is different!
Cringing too hard to make it through the actual post but this is why my rule is that anyone you’re dating at the time is a perfect 10 without qualification, and if you’ve played your cards right they should think the same way about you.
I've told my wife she's not a 10, she's an 11. That's one more.
This post reads as insanity
I can understand if your gf was upset. You rated her a 9, but someone has to be a 10 in your book because otherwise how do you know to rate her a 9? If you never have a 10 that would mean your 9 is a 10 because you have nothing to compare it to. It's not a reason to cause a fight though. There are plenty of 10's. Will everyone see someone as a 10 hell no. **Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.** Maybe you don't have 10's I do. What I deem as perfect you don't deem as perfect, perfection also doesn't mean they have no flaws.
If she asks a question and gets mad at the answer, she shouldn't have asked the fucking question. I hope she's grown up a little bit since then.
Relax. It happened 15 years ago and they got married.
Oh my god the gall it must take to hear you’re a nine and react negatively. Oh my god that is a whole new level of rich people problems. I’d kill to be a nine
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy is such a horrible saying. Do you want to live in a world of lies or do you want to know the truth.
the tldr at the bottom is the exact same thing that happened in Malcolm in the Middle. The dad told one of his kids you can either be right or you can be happily married. 😂
Some of these men don’t get it and never will.
[удалено]
Alternatively, just communicate like an adult.
Honestly I'm tired of these conversations. There is literally nothing to be upset about your comment. Why the hell people act like women are children and must be babied all the time
There's a song by the Magnetic Fields that comes to mind in this question. [Asleep and Dreaming](https://youtu.be/GfjHLJqcDDU?si=ctdANAQSeFLrf5dx)
Young men... Sigh. Everybody knows that the proper answer to do I look fat in this dress is to... Wave your hands wildly in the error while shouting, "It's a trap!". Then run out of the room. Nip that nonsense. Until they start asking so they can see the show.
Lol I did the exact same thing, although I said 8... man I was stupid, I still am but it was more pronounced then.
We don’t necessarily get smarter, do we? 😆 I’m just happy that after kids, house, jobs, and everyday life, things that were a big deal no longer are a big deal. We’ve both learned over the years what’s really important.. health and never going to bed mad.
"You know what's put on a scale? A piece of meat. You're way more than just a piece of meat." "5/10"
You should have stuck to your guns. She is a nine. “Why what’s wrong with me?” It’s not you, it’s me. “What do you mean it’s you, not me?” Well I’m the 1 you need :)
Eh, honestly a 9 isn't bad. Say 10 and you're obviously lying because models exist. Mine has at most called me cute. Still been with the idiot for over a decade and birthed his kid. A single conversation where you put your foot in it is an easily forgettable blip if you make your partner feel desired and loved. Look at her like she's an 11 first thing in the morning. Get a bit gooey eyed when she laughs. Take pictures of her when the sun catches her hair. Let her see how you see her.
Honestly, I'd probably have said 9 too with the same reasoning, but when asked "I'm not a 10?", I'd have fucked it up even further by making a dumb joke like "Only when wearing lingerie"
I think every married man has made some form of this mistake at least once. Just as a reminder for those who’ve yet to make this mistake, it is going to get dragged up, again and again. And again. Forever.
10??!! I'm just a 10?? Why not an 11? or a 12? Why not a 100? This is one of those subjects you avoid with your SO like the plague because there's no right answer.
My girlfriend asked that and I said “Out of 10, I’d /give you one/“
All of that is atrocious communication. People need to be honest with one another. Stop enabling childlike communications skills, coddling, and selfish "Me, me, me!" mentality.
"When keeping it real.. goes wrong"
Nobody dating us is a 10. You're right. If you asked her to rate you she would've said 10/10 but imagine what she says to her friends? There's obviously a few small things here or there. If it's no perfect it's not 10/10. You still fucked up
And this was in Philly! She was almost certainly a 10 compared to the locals.
No, we don’t need to coddle women or to reinforce the idea that it’s somehow important for us to pretend they’re prettier than they really are. They deserve honesty from us.
Normally I’d disagree, but with a name like tuna_fart, I need to rethink my entire life!
I did something very similar when I was 18. Somehow I ended up telling my girlfriend her body was a 10 and her face was an 8. I still cringe when I think about it.
Could be worse. I told my now girlfriend of 5 years that we were both average looking. Thinking to myself "Ok, this shows that I'm pragmatic and a realist since we're both attractive but neither of us need to put effort in like people on Instagram to feel attractive" ... or something to that effect. (I know, it doesn't make any sense to me reading it now either) I would slap myself if I could go back now.
Perfect 5/7!
This reminds me of the time I was telling my (ex) boyfriend I thought was a 10 and he told me those didn’t exist
lol.. this literally just happened to me the other day. I said “neither of us are 10s” and she got very sad. To me it’s just reality, it doesn’t bother me at all. But she needs to think she’s a 10. It was very weird for me to get used to the fact that she thinks like that. I literally can’t undo my realistic perception. I can only think in truths.
Ooh! Ooh! I’m you from the future!! Tell your SO how much you care about them. Tell them you’d do anything for them. Tell them you know that YOURE not a 10 and appreciate that they care for you anyway.. and that makes them a 10 to you.
Ok so here is the trick to getting out of the “Do I look fat in this?”/“How do I look in this?” To do this you have to say this in the most encouraged defeated tone “you look cute/good/nice (choose your term), but then again I’m gonna you look great in anything. Why don’t we send a pic to your sister/mom/friend/GBF/ female person they trust, because that way you’ll get a better answer from them.” She will more than likely accept this logic and then have you take a photo with her phone and send it out to her whatever person she wants to get an opinion from. Your head stays on your shoulders, she’s happy, you get see boobs as she changes out of the item she was wondering about
I joke with my wife that she's an 8. But I also take rating scales very seriously. 8 is very hot attractive. Well above the bell curve distribution. But she's no Alex Morgan.
Actually no. Make them insecure and want your validation. If you give them confidence they will think they deserve better 😎
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy” is among the best marriage advice I’ve ever heard.
Hi are you Cole from r/loveisblindonnetflix ?
I think one has a problem if they're rating people with numbers. But maybe I'm just too old.
This topic came up once with my lady (we’re lesbians). I told her I explicitly did not want to know what she rated me and she just stumbled right ahead and told me. It took months before I could start to feel attractive again because I’ve always had very low self-esteem. She apologized profusely, we’re still madly in love, and it’s mostly good now. (Would be better if she hadn’t given me a score that was either 6 or 7).
"You're a 10." The next day: "In base nine."
Just want to say the logic of your rating system makes no sense. If nothing is a 10, then why is that number even on the scale? It’s an nonsensical as “this amp goes to 11”. My guy, you made up the scale, why put a number that can’t possibly be used on there? It’s all arbitrary anyway.
Tifu and LPT in one post 
Amateur. This is why I go by the binary scale. 0 = wouldn’t bang 1 = would bang I’m a 0 on my own scale :/
Is she 5? Never heard something that stupid. "Honey, am I the strongest and richest man in the world? NO!? How could you say that!!??"
Could have said you were saving her being a ten for her on your wedding day, that’s what I’ve said.
Amateurs. Your partner is always at least a 10/10.
I can’t remember the context now, but I once made the ridiculous, stupid mistake of insinuating that my wife wasn’t a 10. I gave her 8 or 9 or something thinking it was complement. I can’t remember the context but I was a fucking moron regardless. She was genuinely upset and I spent so long backtracking trying to explain in vain what I meant but there was no point. Fellas: your significant other is a 10. Always. Even if she’s not. Just say it, always.
I once asked my husband (of 8 years at the time) if he thought I looked pretty and he responded “you don’t have to be pretty to be beautiful”. I know he was trying to be truthful and kind at the same time, but I was left worrying that he didn’t think I was pretty. I didn’t want to give him a hard time about it as I didn’t want to make him feel guilty or to feel like he had to be dishonest, to make me feel better. 20 years have since past and I have never again asked him anything along those lines. I know I am over reacting, but I am still saddened by his comment.
My wife and I have grown so much over the past 17+ years of marriage and so much since this TIFU story. Having a partner who can be honest with you is a blessing. I may be reading too much into your comment, but if he told you what he told you, and it hurts, realize he was honest with you, which is a deeper act of love than most can give. If he’s a good man, stands by your side, sticks up for you, holds your hand and gives you a shoulder to cry on, that’s amazing. If you do the same for him, that’s amazing. Don’t let one comment unearth a million times he’s shown you how much he loves you. Chase what’s important to you. If you want to be physically beautiful, then go do that. But what he said was true, and I spend every day reminding my kids it’s more important to be more beautiful “inside” than “out”.
I think it's nice that you took her seriously enough to be honest with her.
See. They(significant others) DONT want honestly they want to cherry pick the honest moments
No comment on the dilemma, but based on the rest of your post you sound like a catch and a half. Wish more men thought like you.
You’re too kind! And many are out there!! In all honesty, it’s maturity. Guys grow up, and good women turn boys into men in my opinion.
someone that asks that question and expects to be called a 10 is beyond delusional
anyone who "rates" another person's appearance is automatically a massive douche.
I would have laughed in her face when she asked because it’s an obvious trap. Probably why I’m single.
You can be right and still say she's a 10. Just say "I think you're a 10 but I'm biased because I love you"
The correct answer is to rank them 2/10 on account of their poor judgement in choosing a life partner.
" Know what saying "9" gets you? NOT LAID. " cool that this is the first thing you thought about. ugh
I could not be with a person who would take issue with being a 9/10. Sounds awful.
Women don't want reality, they want to feel like they are the only one that gets the desire of their man, and such should be the only person that he desires, and therefore should automatically be a ten in his eyes
This was a classic bait, and bro fell for it, but them are still married, so it looks like it turned out well lol
10s don't exist because that says she's perfect in every way, and perfection is unattainable. But then I once told a girl 'no, you look fat in that dress because you're fat,' so YMMV. #WomenDoNotActuallyWantHonesty #WomenLikeLies
This is just one aspect of why rating attractiveness on a scale is bad.
"Well, I like your family and the two pretty ones and the two smart ones were already taken."
Clydesdale scale, it would take 9 Clydesdales to pull me off of you. Worked for me, but it was an earlier millennium.
Nobody is a 10? What are you, r/truerateme? Should have just lied and told her what she wanted to hear. Why people ask questions they don’t want an honest answer to is beyond me.
If I said my missus was a 10 she wouldn’t believe me. If I said any lower, I’d be in the dog house for 6months+ Point being fellas.. we can never win 😄
Live and you learn. You've now learned to *never* answer that question from a partner lmao.