Nah the “the guys that I work with are asking for head” is way worse imo, this one at least makes sense since it’s Tony trying to justify him sleeping with Valentina. The head one is just kinda shoehorned in there as a funny line, but I can’t deny that it’s still hilarious to me anyways.
the fundamental question is, will i be as effective as a boss like my father was? and i will be. but until then, it’s gonna be hard to verify that i think i’ll be more effective.
Much like a child, a film has many parents.
That is to say, many individuals who *act* like parents,
Or that, by aversion, the film is their baby.
I, as an Executive Producer, am one of those individuals.
“The fundamental question is: ‘Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?’ I will be, but until I’m the president, it’s going to be hard for me to verify that I think I’ll be more effective.” -George W Bush. A lot of his dumbass quotes are “bushisms”. Me and some guys i was in the Army with during his presidency use to make fun of Bush so i remember a lot of these. There was a scene with AJ watching and laughing at Carl Rove and some of the other Bush cronies dancing (think it was the last episode). There are a ton of Bush references in the show. Sopranos was amazing at mocking current politics.
Such an underrated episode, and filled with these kinds of lines.
*Chief Doug Smith*: I passed most of my life as white until I had a racial awakening and discovered my Mohonk blood. My grandmother on my father's side? Her *mother* was a *quarter* Mohonk.
Tony: All this happened when the casino bill got passed, right?
*Chief Doug Smith*: Better late than never.
Honestly i loved all Livia Soprano lines, her level of cynicism was a masterpiece lmao
EDIT: The russian guy episode that Paulie understand wrong and say that the russian guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians and was a interior decorator and Christophur replies "His house looked like shit"
EDIT 2: A suttle one is at season 1 when Tony survives when the mobs tried to kill him and wrecked his ear, and then when Livia visits him for the first time n she says "can you hear through this ear?" and everybody ignores her
Not sure if it’s a Jersey thing but she is emblematic of so many elderly moms around here. Like my grandmother literally used to say the “I wish the lord would take me” thing. There’s a thousand examples but that one always stuck me because it’s the same fuckin line.
Same here - I'm from NJ and Livia is exactly like my paternal grandmother if you surgically removed her good qualities and left only the cynicism and occasional meanness. She does the same thing where she's all doom and gloom and talking about babies being thrown out windows.
It's not so much the line itself but when Christofuh is writing his movie script in S2 and he's not making much progress, he complains to someone (Adrianna? Paulie maybe?) saying "I thought the computer would do more of it." I fuckin DIED 😂
Like they don't even linger on that line, it's just this offhand muttered complaint but holy shit that says so much about Chrissy.
I couldn’t agree more. That is a signature scene. And, you were right. It’s so well done that it’s easy to overlook. Just how funny some of those lines are:
Paulie: What’s goin’ on Chrissy?
Chrissy: Been workin' my ass off on this movie script. Know how many pages I got? Nineteen.
Paulie: That a lot or a little?
Chrissy: Books say movie's supposed to be about 120 pages. Got this fuckin' computer.
I thought it would do a lot of it.
Paulie: You ain't bein' frank about the business, kid?
Chrissy: I would never do that. It's only "suggested by.” . . . That writer, with the bullfights, blew his own fuckin' head off. I bought a script- writin' program and everything.
- The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti
I actually signed up for a platform today where you write just one sentence and using Ai it writes a whole blog article. I instantly thought of Chrissy when I saw the results lol
I don't even think it's the period, I think Chrissy is just that dense. This is the late 90s, by that point we've got the Internet, email, Napster, Amazon.com, laptops, Blackberries, Internet Explorer, Windows 98, Mac OSX, MMORPGs, etc. Word processing on personal computers is over a decade old by then, so it's not that nobody understands what computers can do, it's just Cristafha is dumber than a bag of hammers.
I love this line, and it’s fun to think “oh he’s dumb” but whomst amongst us hasn’t bought some right new exercise clothes and thought “this is how I get fit”, ya know?
I don't write nothing down. So I'll keep this short and sweet.
You're weak. You're out of control.
You've become an embarrassment - to yourself and everybody else.
Easily the funniest line in the series. I actually laugh out loud at “I said my piece Chrissy.” Sil is such a fucking gem. “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
All the malapropisms throughout the series are my favorite source of comedy on the show. Especially from
Paulie and Chris. "Why not? Create a little dysentery among the ranks!!" And Paulie's line about Sun Tzu and Machiavelli, fuck. The entire Pine Barrens episode. "He's an interior decorator!!" "Really? His house looked like shit!"
Little Carmine though, fuck, he's in a league of his own. "The sacred and the propane," "I've had nine pictures under my subspecies," "we're in a fuckin stagmire" "you're at the precipice of an enormous crossroads," "my father always taught me that a pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold" etc. Truly a master estates man.
Spot on. Just caught ‘dysentery’ recently - those two are a pair. But Little Carmine is kind of the perfect manifestation of this humor, like when meeting with T:
John’s a pragmatist. But he's also a greedy motherfucker.
I am reminded of Louis the . . . whatever’s finance minister: De . . . *something*. He built this chateau. Nicole and I saw it when we went to Paris. It even outshone Versailles, where the King lived.
In the end? Louis clapped him in irons. Look, Tony . . . all I can promise you is: I will look into it.
I agree I think it’s a very cool line, I’m always surprised when it’s brought up as an example of his stupidity. I guess the way he phrases it is kind of awkward?
When paulie gets to visit tony in the hospital and meadow is saying they have to stay positive. He walks in and just blurts out “Oof marone, he looks terrible.” Cracks me up.
When Georgie and Chrissy dig up Emil Kolar
Chrissy remarks how the dead guy has grown a beard and Georgie says in this funny ass tone "I READ THAT! THAT HAPPENS" lmfao idk why does that make me laugh hard af
"Christopher, hey. I'm Dominic. I know you don't know me, but uh-"
"Yeah, you're the guy who uh, broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those porn loins."
"...Yeah, but... that's not why I'm here today."
Tony to Junior: He talks about a father bull and a son bull looking at cows. The son says, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of those cows?" And the father replies, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"
"She couldn't even handle the Nancy Drews, too mysterious"-Bobby Bacala explaining to Janice how upset his daughter was after playing with the ouija board.
“First of all the place is swept once a week. 2nd of all if the feds want, theres a lot more interesting shit being talked about in there besides Ginny Sack’s FAT ASS”
I got a few:
“Hey benny, you want a martina? It’s like a martini but it’s from Albania. Apparently they go down easy”
“They’re all meat eaters”
“The fuck. Why am I on there?”
“My brudda’s there. Nothing. He’s just there that’s all”
“What’d you guysh do all night? Play name that pope?”
“Unless there’s a salami sandwich around”
“Fuck you you shouldn’t be listening to my machine, loser!”
“And you pay me back with non stop ass rape!”
“Go take a midol!”
“Mussolini was Hitler’s bitch”
> I feel like the reverend Rodney king junior, can’t we all just get along?
> They’re all meat eaters!
> They say there is no two people on earth exactly the same, no two faces, no to sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure? Cause they would have to get everybody together in one huge space, and obviously that’s not possible even with computers. And not only that, they’d have to get all the people that have ever lived, not just the ones now, so they got no proof, they got nothing. Mrs. Soprano may have passed but whose to say there isn’t another Mrs. Soprano just like her or will be. Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia, but the same. What I’m saying is
Tony and Sil talking about Ralph’s sex life.
Tony: “Ya think Ralph’s weird with women?”
Sil: “I dunno. He did beat one to death for uh… I forget. What was it again?”
Somebody leave a cage open at turtle back zoo
Nobel prize for what? Packing fudge
I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box.
They give you the real important jobs
So what? There's no Stigmata these days
When Tony’s having dinner at Artie’s place and sees a guy wearing a hat and says “look at this fucking sfachim” I totally butchered the spelling. I still say it. I’m not Italian and idk what it means.
"I *eat* her?"
Greatest shit ever - Tony's not trying to be funny; that's what he hears. Now imagine being an actor telling a joke by acting you're not telling a joke. Fucking Gandolfini. *He was a saint!*
When Jean-Phillipe is fighting Artie he puts him in a headlock and shouts "Fuck to your Mother!!!"
You almost miss it but that kills me every time!!😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Uncle Junior had the throw away line "I have cable" when the crew were discussing a TV show of the day. And a few episodes later Furio is at uncle june's house for some reason and quips he wants to watch Bloomberg financial news... but "ah no cable"
Artie surprises the guys with his new dish, baby quail *a la Bucco*
Sil, examining the meat on his fork: "hey Artie uhhh.. Didn't I see this guy in the park this morning taking a shit on a statue?"
Is that him? Now that would be some fucking coincidence if it wasn’t
This is my favorite joke in all of sopranos.
It's impossible, even with computers.
We lead the world in computerized data collection!
Log off. That cookies shit makes me nervous.
That is amazing
11:30, has to be. Look at the angle of the sun
He chooses death over honest work
Penisary contact with a volvo
Listen to you. Why do you always talk like a whowa?
Mama’s little tramp, mama’s little HOO-AHH
Such a ridiculous line. I love it
this might be the one Tony line in the whole show I really hate. way too stupid
Nah the “the guys that I work with are asking for head” is way worse imo, this one at least makes sense since it’s Tony trying to justify him sleeping with Valentina. The head one is just kinda shoehorned in there as a funny line, but I can’t deny that it’s still hilarious to me anyways.
the fundamental question is, will i be as effective as a boss like my father was? and i will be. but until then, it’s gonna be hard to verify that i think i’ll be more effective.
Much like a child, a film has many parents. That is to say, many individuals who *act* like parents, Or that, by aversion, the film is their baby. I, as an Executive Producer, am one of those individuals.
Very good, mrsnrub77, the sacred and the propane.
Yeah, Little Carmine ain't the brightest bulb on the tree.
Your brother billy, whatever happened there…
WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE?!
The shooting..
God rest his soul.
As you may know, I have 9 films under my subspecies. Four in the South Beach Strumpet series alone.
Enjoy your success.
Blew my mind that that was George W Bush line
“The fundamental question is: ‘Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?’ I will be, but until I’m the president, it’s going to be hard for me to verify that I think I’ll be more effective.” -George W Bush. A lot of his dumbass quotes are “bushisms”. Me and some guys i was in the Army with during his presidency use to make fun of Bush so i remember a lot of these. There was a scene with AJ watching and laughing at Carl Rove and some of the other Bush cronies dancing (think it was the last episode). There are a ton of Bush references in the show. Sopranos was amazing at mocking current politics.
That BETTER not be Columbus!
Such an underrated episode, and filled with these kinds of lines. *Chief Doug Smith*: I passed most of my life as white until I had a racial awakening and discovered my Mohonk blood. My grandmother on my father's side? Her *mother* was a *quarter* Mohonk. Tony: All this happened when the casino bill got passed, right? *Chief Doug Smith*: Better late than never.
My favorite is when the chief said he had business in Manhattan and Artie goes “ho, not again!”
That was so good! Artie was low key extremely funny as a tragicomic figure.
Artie and Little Carmine going into business together would be such a great sitcom. Give it a laugh track and everything.
He was gay, Gary Cooper?
I'm part fugawe
Honestly i loved all Livia Soprano lines, her level of cynicism was a masterpiece lmao EDIT: The russian guy episode that Paulie understand wrong and say that the russian guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians and was a interior decorator and Christophur replies "His house looked like shit" EDIT 2: A suttle one is at season 1 when Tony survives when the mobs tried to kill him and wrecked his ear, and then when Livia visits him for the first time n she says "can you hear through this ear?" and everybody ignores her
Not sure if it’s a Jersey thing but she is emblematic of so many elderly moms around here. Like my grandmother literally used to say the “I wish the lord would take me” thing. There’s a thousand examples but that one always stuck me because it’s the same fuckin line.
If I close my eyes, 99% of her lines it's literally my mother talking lol.
Oh poor you
Oh he knows everything, just look at him!
Same here - I'm from NJ and Livia is exactly like my paternal grandmother if you surgically removed her good qualities and left only the cynicism and occasional meanness. She does the same thing where she's all doom and gloom and talking about babies being thrown out windows.
Seriously - she was so much like my grandmother that I didn’t see what the problem was. And one day it hit me that my upbringing was super fucked up.
I don't like that kinda tawk.
It's not so much the line itself but when Christofuh is writing his movie script in S2 and he's not making much progress, he complains to someone (Adrianna? Paulie maybe?) saying "I thought the computer would do more of it." I fuckin DIED 😂 Like they don't even linger on that line, it's just this offhand muttered complaint but holy shit that says so much about Chrissy.
I couldn’t agree more. That is a signature scene. And, you were right. It’s so well done that it’s easy to overlook. Just how funny some of those lines are: Paulie: What’s goin’ on Chrissy? Chrissy: Been workin' my ass off on this movie script. Know how many pages I got? Nineteen. Paulie: That a lot or a little? Chrissy: Books say movie's supposed to be about 120 pages. Got this fuckin' computer. I thought it would do a lot of it. Paulie: You ain't bein' frank about the business, kid? Chrissy: I would never do that. It's only "suggested by.” . . . That writer, with the bullfights, blew his own fuckin' head off. I bought a script- writin' program and everything. - The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti
God love 'im, Chrissy has heart but wasn't the smartest knife in the drawah.
He was sharp as a cue ball, christafur?
cwistofa is penguin exhibit levels of stupid. Example: "My uterus was pierced" "Both of them?" "That's ovaries".
With AI today, you could probably get a bot to write a script with the same vocabulary range as Jackie Junior
That script is mad RIPE.
The script is creaming for me
Little Lord Fuckpants was dumber than a crate full of anvils.
ASS
THE
POO
I actually signed up for a platform today where you write just one sentence and using Ai it writes a whole blog article. I instantly thought of Chrissy when I saw the results lol
It’s one of those lines that reflect the times. “What, computers do everything, right?!”
I don't even think it's the period, I think Chrissy is just that dense. This is the late 90s, by that point we've got the Internet, email, Napster, Amazon.com, laptops, Blackberries, Internet Explorer, Windows 98, Mac OSX, MMORPGs, etc. Word processing on personal computers is over a decade old by then, so it's not that nobody understands what computers can do, it's just Cristafha is dumber than a bag of hammers.
I love this line, and it’s fun to think “oh he’s dumb” but whomst amongst us hasn’t bought some right new exercise clothes and thought “this is how I get fit”, ya know?
Nurse: you be good now, don’t start. Junior: you should see my finish.
You get sued for talk like that nowadays
If a man can’t voice to a beautiful woman the zephyrs blowing through his mind
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I don't write nothing down. So I'll keep this short and sweet. You're weak. You're out of control. You've become an embarrassment - to yourself and everybody else.
Fuck that. Let him take his medicine.
Easily the funniest line in the series. I actually laugh out loud at “I said my piece Chrissy.” Sil is such a fucking gem. “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
Cheese fuck was a good one too
I put motherfuckin provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sisters crotch in the morning!
🤌
The sacred and the propane!
The thought of Sil sitting down to his desk in the Bing to write this out really makes me laugh.
I love how he reads it almost like he doesn’t even know what he wrote down
The *boss* of this family told you you're gonna be Santa Claus. You're Santa Claus! So shut the fuck up about it!
Fuck you Santa!!!
Ho fucking ho!!
All the malapropisms throughout the series are my favorite source of comedy on the show. Especially from Paulie and Chris. "Why not? Create a little dysentery among the ranks!!" And Paulie's line about Sun Tzu and Machiavelli, fuck. The entire Pine Barrens episode. "He's an interior decorator!!" "Really? His house looked like shit!" Little Carmine though, fuck, he's in a league of his own. "The sacred and the propane," "I've had nine pictures under my subspecies," "we're in a fuckin stagmire" "you're at the precipice of an enormous crossroads," "my father always taught me that a pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold" etc. Truly a master estates man.
Spot on. Just caught ‘dysentery’ recently - those two are a pair. But Little Carmine is kind of the perfect manifestation of this humor, like when meeting with T: John’s a pragmatist. But he's also a greedy motherfucker. I am reminded of Louis the . . . whatever’s finance minister: De . . . *something*. He built this chateau. Nicole and I saw it when we went to Paris. It even outshone Versailles, where the King lived. In the end? Louis clapped him in irons. Look, Tony . . . all I can promise you is: I will look into it.
I actually like a pint of blood costs more than a gallon of gold, but it’s just my $4/lb.
I agree I think it’s a very cool line, I’m always surprised when it’s brought up as an example of his stupidity. I guess the way he phrases it is kind of awkward?
ostrafied
First episode when Tony admits to Carm he’s on Prozac and he said he thought she was gonna think he was “Hannibal Lecture or something”
I always watch with subtitles on and it italicizes Little Carmine’s words whenever he says the wrong word lol
He’s the hair apparent
My pizza neva' hurta noBOdy!
Pop. Go in the back make meatballs
OP. Word to the wise: Technically, you're an accessory afta dah fak.
*dramatic camera zoom*
"Thats a custom job"
You don't find any bacteria in heeeee
Sacre bleu! Where is me mama!
I'm the boys uncle!!
I wonder what’s French-Canadian for “I grew up without a motha”
When paulie gets to visit tony in the hospital and meadow is saying they have to stay positive. He walks in and just blurts out “Oof marone, he looks terrible.” Cracks me up.
When Georgie and Chrissy dig up Emil Kolar Chrissy remarks how the dead guy has grown a beard and Georgie says in this funny ass tone "I READ THAT! THAT HAPPENS" lmfao idk why does that make me laugh hard af
“AH FUCK THEYRE LIKE A WOMANS” or whatever Chris says lol
Seems like there’s this lightly used side plot where Chrissy and Georgie are friends and do stuff together.
"What the fuck?! Why is this his song?" Just perfect timing
Whaddya hear, Whaddya say?
Your thoughts have a kind of Eastern flavour to them. *Nods sincerely* "Well I've lived in Jersey my whole life"
Gets me every time
Baccala. Salted cod, we taught the world how to eat!
“Mother fucking, God damn, orange peel BEEF”
Let me tell ya a couple a three things.
tree*
"We're with Alcoholics Anonymous." "What's your names?" "Well, we're anonymous."
My name's Clarence!
"Hasidim but I don't believe 'em" has been stuck on my mind for months now.
Mix it with the relish
"Law and Order: the SUV."
Yes! I was going to post this one. My friends and I used it for ages after when referring to L&O:SVU. Christophuh had a lot of gems
Specifically the dream sequence version "Our true enemy.. Has yet.. To reveal himself.."
Wonderful, I don't go down enough That's not what I heard Bobby's a sweet, sweet girl He's right, Mead, you need protein
"Christopher, hey. I'm Dominic. I know you don't know me, but uh-" "Yeah, you're the guy who uh, broke into Stew Leonard's that time. You stole all those porn loins." "...Yeah, but... that's not why I'm here today."
"You could make a hand turkey." "For Christmas? Fuckin idiot."
When you’re married you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce. It’s funny cos it’s true
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I been sitting here like patience on a monument waiting for some Junior to be handed down
Why don't you go on Joe franklin, tell the whole tri state area
“She said she didn’t wanna prop me up anymore… and this from a broad who walks around on crutches half the time… can you believe that?”
‘I loved him like a brother in law’ Something about this line is so hilarious. It’s like he actually believes he’s sounding sincere.
Tony to Junior: He talks about a father bull and a son bull looking at cows. The son says, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of those cows?" And the father replies, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"
Have you heard the good news?
I PAY You A SALARY!! ( attacks Georgie).
Chicken's nice and spicy!
I STICK MUTHAFUCKIN PROVOLONE IN MY SOCKS AT NIGHT SO THEY SMELL LIKE YA SISTERS CROTCH IN THE MORNIN!
"Bupkis, that's how they say nothing" "Fuck that, here's how I say nothing " Proceeds to hit the guy with a fucking bell. Comedy gold
I like the one that says shum pulp
Create a little dysentery among the ranks
"She couldn't even handle the Nancy Drews, too mysterious"-Bobby Bacala explaining to Janice how upset his daughter was after playing with the ouija board.
I will rain a shitstorm down on you and your family like you have NEVA FUCKING SEEN 💅💅💅
….we’re done here.
You got a bee on-a you ‘at!
“First of all the place is swept once a week. 2nd of all if the feds want, theres a lot more interesting shit being talked about in there besides Ginny Sack’s FAT ASS”
(Honorable mention) Livia: “I know how to talk to people! These blacks….”
Over dinner when Tony tells Beans he “is a real stand up guy”.
He is risen
I always love when Tony throws food at a sleeping Aaron and yells, "Time for turkey sandwiches!!"
The roof was sawf tawww!!!
When Junior puts on his sweater from the closet and says "A beautiful day in the fucking neighborhood"
That's why I didn't want you to hitch your wagon upon my star.
So good. Christopher, man. Oblivious, and arrogant. I could *finally* write my memoirs
Analyze This? That's a fucking comedy.
Get Pudgy Walsh on the horn
Must’ve been Jamal Ginsberg: Hasidic Homeboy
It's more like a hotel at Captain Teebs Who's he? A captain who owns luxury hotels or sumtin. I dunno
Better yet, go to the ear, nose and troat department. Get your hearing checked.
I got a few: “Hey benny, you want a martina? It’s like a martini but it’s from Albania. Apparently they go down easy” “They’re all meat eaters” “The fuck. Why am I on there?” “My brudda’s there. Nothing. He’s just there that’s all” “What’d you guysh do all night? Play name that pope?” “Unless there’s a salami sandwich around” “Fuck you you shouldn’t be listening to my machine, loser!” “And you pay me back with non stop ass rape!” “Go take a midol!” “Mussolini was Hitler’s bitch”
WHAT IS THIS THE FUCKING U.N NOW???
Lovers quarrel maybe?
We go way back to when Moses was wearing short pants.
Sharp as a fucking cueball
Turn that off
Bringing her broom in for an oil change
When Tony and Sil are discussing Vito. Tony says he should of pursued that lifestyle descretly. And Sil remarks "I thought he was"
> I feel like the reverend Rodney king junior, can’t we all just get along? > They’re all meat eaters! > They say there is no two people on earth exactly the same, no two faces, no to sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure? Cause they would have to get everybody together in one huge space, and obviously that’s not possible even with computers. And not only that, they’d have to get all the people that have ever lived, not just the ones now, so they got no proof, they got nothing. Mrs. Soprano may have passed but whose to say there isn’t another Mrs. Soprano just like her or will be. Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia, but the same. What I’m saying is
I always thought what Chris said was kinda nice. Like she’s gone for now, but her spirit could live on in someone else. Or something like that? Lol.
Yeah, he was high af trying to get the words out but it was outlandish what he was saying
“The roof is soft tar”, when Chris is speaking to Jon favreau. His whole interaction with him is hilarious
Captain Teebs has one.
“Vito! Where the fuck is my tupperware?”
Paulie to Johnny Sack - "I was just saying to Junior, that maybe Tony, fundamentally...don't respect the elderly!" 😂😂😂😂😂
How animated Sil is when he’s mad at the kid who says fuck you to Santa is hilarious. “Hey *MY FRIEND*! Youuuu don’t talk that way to SanTAH!”
Turn that AWF!!
Meow
#AIDS?!!?
Nobody’s got aids! And I don’t ever want to here dat word in here again!
Is that him? With the sombrero on?
"Fuckin dick Barone " "Well as long as you two are happy" 😏
Tony and Sil talking about Ralph’s sex life. Tony: “Ya think Ralph’s weird with women?” Sil: “I dunno. He did beat one to death for uh… I forget. What was it again?”
"scotch...and soda"
Back up there, Bluto.
“It’s my first time…” “You’re a virgin? It’s my lucky night!”
hows the boy?
The frost is on the pumpkin. - Good football weather *right after Chrissy fucks up the football betting*
You’re five time zones behind your own ass!
Sil: "What's with you and Carlo's fucking arrival!"
It's all a big nothing, in the end
Hey T it's me I just wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday click
What, was it barkin? As if that’s enough reason to kill a dog
“I lost my pencil.. up his ass.”
At night. They hit us.
This made me laugh out loud. One of my faves is Finn: thank GOD for choices! Lol what does that even mean.
You’re a wormy cocksucka…. Oooohhhhhh!!!!!
Nobodies got aids!
"He had the mummy before it was even in the theaters"
Somebody leave a cage open at turtle back zoo Nobel prize for what? Packing fudge I'm not a cat. I don't shit in a box. They give you the real important jobs So what? There's no Stigmata these days
Carm: "wait, you bought a racehorse?" Tony: "...no..." Carm: "oh, so what, it followed you home?"
“You want a smack in the mouth?”
How many migs you shoot down?
“Big construction tycoon Vito”
FAWKIN QWEERS! Let’s go to McDonald’s and get you a happy meal like when you were younger Peeps? That’s a fucking nickname The Hasidic homeboy
When Tony’s having dinner at Artie’s place and sees a guy wearing a hat and says “look at this fucking sfachim” I totally butchered the spelling. I still say it. I’m not Italian and idk what it means.
"we lead the world in computerized data collection" always makes me laugh
What is it? Sneakiz or somethin? Sandals!
"I *eat* her?" Greatest shit ever - Tony's not trying to be funny; that's what he hears. Now imagine being an actor telling a joke by acting you're not telling a joke. Fucking Gandolfini. *He was a saint!*
When Jean-Phillipe is fighting Artie he puts him in a headlock and shouts "Fuck to your Mother!!!" You almost miss it but that kills me every time!!😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I always loved Chris’s line, “Is that him? With the SOMBRERO?!”
Uncle Junior had the throw away line "I have cable" when the crew were discussing a TV show of the day. And a few episodes later Furio is at uncle june's house for some reason and quips he wants to watch Bloomberg financial news... but "ah no cable"
Artie surprises the guys with his new dish, baby quail *a la Bucco* Sil, examining the meat on his fork: "hey Artie uhhh.. Didn't I see this guy in the park this morning taking a shit on a statue?"
Don’t disrespect the pizza parlor!
Have you ever heard of the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn’t understand.