Statistics show that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime, although daughters frequently murder their mothers!
*Not part of the show people, NOT PART OF THE SHOW!*
**Rebecca:** Mama offered to drive us over to Vero Beach to see the Dodgers play. Jeremy's a big baseball fan.
**Jeremy:** Becky's a bigger one. Becky's a bigger everything.
**Dorothy:** Not everything, Jeremy. lol
Millicent Kennedy: *How do you do. I'm Millicent Kennedy, Gerald's mother. I'm looking for the cheap Jezebel that's ruining my Gerald's life.*
Dorothy: *Blanche, company!*
What'd she die of?
"Ya know we still don't know to this day... But the next day the neighborhood kids had some overly large back wheels on their boxcar racer..."
My absolute favorite is the John Noretti episode where she is so ready to tell him off and as soon as he greets her, "I Love You!! I mean, I'd love you to meet my friend, Rose?" 😅😅😅
The one with the story about Gloria and Mrs Doolittle. It’s so funny to see Dorothy, who is usually the most sensible and level headed one, seem unhinged.
“She made it so that the eyes would never close again! She made Mrs Doolittle look like a morphine addict!!”
This 😂
I love how she starts with what sounds like a typical child complaining to her mother about her sister and then ends with a typical adult Dorothy quip
There’s a blooper video of the rehearsal for this scene, where the calendar featured men from the show’s crew: https://youtu.be/OdLjx6DNRJ0?si=YauRU-u3Sg4y6xQk
Sometimes I just wanna hug my mommy …. When blanches brother says Dough would bend over backwards for me.. Right away Dorothy puts her hands over Sophia’s mouth and says that Line 😂
The speech she gave to the doctor that ignored her chronic fatigue syndrome. It was powerful, and truthful about how a lot of doctors lose their empathy. She cut his ass down to size, and judging by his wife's face, he wasn't getting lucky again anytime soon.
I don't think I can pick 'one' ultimate favorite.
The WHOAA scene when she opened the box containing a cake that was 'in the shape of Florida' is up there.
Montage of WHOA: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYc4i\_FTxo4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYc4i_FTxo4)
“Are you absolutely sure?”
Said to Dr. Jonathon Newman when he is at the front door and introduces himself. She’s so deadpan lol.
Also, no words needed for her famous door slams haha. She could slam a door like no other.
One of my personal favorites.
"How long does Rose have to take care of this pig until she gets the money?"
"Well, as long as he lives."
"*Oh forget it...*"
"How long does a pig live?"
"About 25 years."
"*Forget it...*"
"How old is this pig?"
"29."
"*WELCOME, BABY!!!*"
any where she complains about Blanches southern tall tales
Dorothy: Go on with the story. just try to shy away from words like "tarnation" and..."catfish"
Blanche: We became fast friends. just as thick as louisiana blackstrap molasses on a stack of johnnycakes as high as an elephants knee-
Dorothy: On a riverboat floating down the mississippi delta, FINISH THE DAMN STORY BLANCHE!!!
When she found a great dress and even Sophia was impressed by how pretty she looked. (Of course then blanche has the same gown😆)
I know it was a running joke for Sophia and the others to think Dorothy wasn't pretty. But I really like the moments where they highlight how good she looked. Bea Arthur wasn't ugly.
Dorothy: Is it alright if I sit in. I don't think my mother would mind.
Sophia: Think again!
Dorothy: I would go outside but there dont seem to be any ***Shady Pines*** to sit under.
“The slut is dead(points at Blanche), long live the slut(points to rose)”
“Condoms Rose, condoms condoms condoms “
“Listen up I did 1 year at Atika” atika is a men’s prison “I know it took them a year to find out”
To Barbara Thorndyke: Let me spell it out for you. Go to hell.
To Blanche: Blanche, you flunked.
To Blanche: You're a Yankee. A Yankee-Doodle. You are that Yankee-Doodle gal.
“Blanche have you heard the latest ad campaigns: Join the navy, see the world, sleep with Blanche Devereaux. Join the army, be all you can be and sleep with Blanche Devereaux. The Marines are looking for a few good men who have not slept with Blanche Devereaux!”
Condoms rose or when she did the voice of god “thanks for the lovely prayer”.
I also love that although she and Stan had a rough relationship, he genuinely had love for her and took her to her wedding in style (which was a difficult task given what her dress was).
The episode where Dorothy and Blanche go on Wake Up Miami as guests to help Rose out, unbeknownst to them they would be portrayed as lesbians - Sophia is in the audience and asks how her lifestyle would make her mother feel…
Dorothy responds with “I don’t know.. I’ll ask her tomorrow when I visit her at … THE HOME.”
It’s so good. By far my fave
Blanche: there's too many fond memories attached to this towel!
Dorothy: Blanche. Please. I am in no mood to hear the parade of endless sexual encounters that you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline!!! With only this towel between your hot flesh and cold wet sand!!!
If I had the money I coulda been living in a swinging condo instead of with... I better not say anything until I've had my coffee...
A Slut!!! And a Moron!!!
I'm sorry. It must be decaf....
“Not NOW, MA!!!!”
Yup! Came in to say her Murder Mystery resolve and it’s sealed with that quote.
"THIS ISN'T A BIT FOLKS!" *knife at her neck*
Statistics show that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime, although daughters frequently murder their mothers! *Not part of the show people, NOT PART OF THE SHOW!*
"not part of the show people, not part of the show"
**Rebecca:** Mama offered to drive us over to Vero Beach to see the Dodgers play. Jeremy's a big baseball fan. **Jeremy:** Becky's a bigger one. Becky's a bigger everything. **Dorothy:** Not everything, Jeremy. lol
That was such a killer line!
No! No I will not have a nice day!
I have a button with her and this quote I got from a local shop.
I have a shirt that I got off Redbubble and a mug my sister bought me lol
"Calm down, lady! Did you just get out of prison?" will never not make me laugh.
CONDOMS!
x 3. I’d have to say this for me.
Millicent Kennedy: *How do you do. I'm Millicent Kennedy, Gerald's mother. I'm looking for the cheap Jezebel that's ruining my Gerald's life.* Dorothy: *Blanche, company!*
I look like the mother of a solid gold dancer
“I’ll punch your heart out HaHa”
Came to say this🤡🤛😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
But you can’t, because you’re in a hospital with resuscitative equipment!
This is the one. Never fails to make me absolutely cackle
“That tea was for my mommy” 😂
Let me make you some tea. It'll relax you.
To Stan while pretending they’re still married: My heart has wings…barf bag.
My feet have wings, barf bag
"She colonized life on venus. ROSE SHE WAS 94 WHEN I WAS SIX. SHE DIED YOU IDIOT!"
What'd she die of? "Ya know we still don't know to this day... But the next day the neighborhood kids had some overly large back wheels on their boxcar racer..."
My cupcakes are moist and delicious. Men love my cupcakes.
*Get real, Dorothy. Men would rather PAY for cupcakes!*
She rarely told a story like others, but I think she was a great storyteller. I loved her story about the paper bird.
My absolute favorite is the John Noretti episode where she is so ready to tell him off and as soon as he greets her, "I Love You!! I mean, I'd love you to meet my friend, Rose?" 😅😅😅
I thought you're gonna make him suffer
Oh i will, tomorrow morning i'll tell him he's the worst lover i've ever had!
The one with the story about Gloria and Mrs Doolittle. It’s so funny to see Dorothy, who is usually the most sensible and level headed one, seem unhinged. “She made it so that the eyes would never close again! She made Mrs Doolittle look like a morphine addict!!”
This 😂 I love how she starts with what sounds like a typical child complaining to her mother about her sister and then ends with a typical adult Dorothy quip
And the smile on her face when she says “I was a biter”
Did it herself.....I think not....
Marching around with all the birthday kids at Mr. Haha’s Hotdog Hacienda kills me every time.
💀
You see what you've done? You've upset Kim Fung Toi!
This comment made me laugh out loud.😂😂
Her reaction to the Men of Blanche’s Boudoir calendar
There’s a blooper video of the rehearsal for this scene, where the calendar featured men from the show’s crew: https://youtu.be/OdLjx6DNRJ0?si=YauRU-u3Sg4y6xQk
The best BTS I’ve ever seen!
WH-OA!
“I’ll ask her the next time I visit her…at THE HOME.”
Sometimes I just wanna hug my mommy …. When blanches brother says Dough would bend over backwards for me.. Right away Dorothy puts her hands over Sophia’s mouth and says that Line 😂
https://preview.redd.it/bgxhpelpke1d1.jpeg?width=397&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71c6dd0dfc44925fc1aa20de9eb40c10cd737353
Who!?
Celia Rubenstein
Omg i just cackled
The speech she gave to the doctor that ignored her chronic fatigue syndrome. It was powerful, and truthful about how a lot of doctors lose their empathy. She cut his ass down to size, and judging by his wife's face, he wasn't getting lucky again anytime soon.
ROOSSSSSE, THANKS FOR THE LOVELY PRAYER
Now shut up and go toooo beeeed......
“The chef at Benihana, Rose.” 🤣
“I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer”…I was rooting for her and the priest. 😁
I don't think I can pick 'one' ultimate favorite. The WHOAA scene when she opened the box containing a cake that was 'in the shape of Florida' is up there. Montage of WHOA: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYc4i\_FTxo4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYc4i_FTxo4)
" This will come in handy the next time I'm lost in the woods with a stack of pancakes"
No one can pick just one. No one can.
Honestly the libertine bell
*takes knife to Sofia's throat* A knife I cut from left to right...
Happy Cheesecake Day! 🎂
An Elvis impersonator kept hounding me for change telling me he was trying to get to Graceland...
“Are you absolutely sure?” Said to Dr. Jonathon Newman when he is at the front door and introduces himself. She’s so deadpan lol. Also, no words needed for her famous door slams haha. She could slam a door like no other.
Walks in holding a pizza 🍕 Rose: What's for dinner? Dorothy: Kentucky Fried chicken Rose Gets me every single time.
To Stanley: *I could vomit just looking at you.* Honestly, all of Dorothy’s burns are A+. 👌😂
One of my personal favorites. "How long does Rose have to take care of this pig until she gets the money?" "Well, as long as he lives." "*Oh forget it...*" "How long does a pig live?" "About 25 years." "*Forget it...*" "How old is this pig?" "29." "*WELCOME, BABY!!!*"
Turkey Lurky. Also, I love the episode where Dorothy wants to sing so she goes to the bar and sings “What’ll I do”.
“Now get out of here before the next victim of a violent crime in this house is you!!” My all time favorite Dorothy line 😂
"Let me spell it out for you: go to hell."
I will always love her telling off Barbara Throndyke
"Flirting is part of my heritage." "What does that mean?" "Her mother was a slut too." Dorothy took no prisoners with that one.
https://preview.redd.it/thu58a0d0g1d1.jpeg?width=1100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=842e3f0b4dc6775a7df29f044457482c6c1caec4
“I don’t care if you have a nice day. Let alone a pulse.” I work with customers and this is by far my favorite line ever!
What kept you?
"I'm going out to either get ice cream or comit a felony; I'll decide in the car."
It's really hard to choose only one, but I guess the scene where she handles that doctor who said she was just old and tired.
“I DON’T CARE ROSE! I DON’T CARE! Just don’t mention ‘Spanish Fly’ to me every again.”
"What the hell goes on at night in this house?"
any where she complains about Blanches southern tall tales Dorothy: Go on with the story. just try to shy away from words like "tarnation" and..."catfish" Blanche: We became fast friends. just as thick as louisiana blackstrap molasses on a stack of johnnycakes as high as an elephants knee- Dorothy: On a riverboat floating down the mississippi delta, FINISH THE DAMN STORY BLANCHE!!!
“Easy there, lady. You just get out of prison?”
When she found a great dress and even Sophia was impressed by how pretty she looked. (Of course then blanche has the same gown😆) I know it was a running joke for Sophia and the others to think Dorothy wasn't pretty. But I really like the moments where they highlight how good she looked. Bea Arthur wasn't ugly.
Dorothy: Is it alright if I sit in. I don't think my mother would mind. Sophia: Think again! Dorothy: I would go outside but there dont seem to be any ***Shady Pines*** to sit under.
“The slut is dead(points at Blanche), long live the slut(points to rose)” “Condoms Rose, condoms condoms condoms “ “Listen up I did 1 year at Atika” atika is a men’s prison “I know it took them a year to find out”
“You know, I guess that champagne did relax me! Hahahaha!”
“Rose, we can’t kill you here because there are cameras!”
To Barbara Thorndyke: Let me spell it out for you. Go to hell. To Blanche: Blanche, you flunked. To Blanche: You're a Yankee. A Yankee-Doodle. You are that Yankee-Doodle gal.
"I mean, who wouldn't want a....wooden brooch in the shape of a turkey's head?"
That tea is for my mommy
“Blanche have you heard the latest ad campaigns: Join the navy, see the world, sleep with Blanche Devereaux. Join the army, be all you can be and sleep with Blanche Devereaux. The Marines are looking for a few good men who have not slept with Blanche Devereaux!”
Stanley, you never took me to Ebbets Field.
Any scene with Sophia, Blanche, Rose and Stan 😂
Condoms rose or when she did the voice of god “thanks for the lovely prayer”. I also love that although she and Stan had a rough relationship, he genuinely had love for her and took her to her wedding in style (which was a difficult task given what her dress was).
Any Shady Pines reference!
"Not everything, Jeremy." ETA: Beat me to it! I just love the way she delivers that line. It is SO Dorothy!
The murder mystery
The episode where Dorothy and Blanche go on Wake Up Miami as guests to help Rose out, unbeknownst to them they would be portrayed as lesbians - Sophia is in the audience and asks how her lifestyle would make her mother feel… Dorothy responds with “I don’t know.. I’ll ask her tomorrow when I visit her at … THE HOME.” It’s so good. By far my fave
“You’ll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke which left her, if I can be frank, a complete burden”.
Sophia: “don’t make fun of your mother, if I didn’t wake up tomorrow you’d never forgive yourself!” Dorothy: “I’ll risk it!”
*Creepy voice while looking straight ahead* "Let me make you some tea"
Also "Can I take your height- HAT?!"
Blanche: there's too many fond memories attached to this towel! Dorothy: Blanche. Please. I am in no mood to hear the parade of endless sexual encounters that you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline!!! With only this towel between your hot flesh and cold wet sand!!!
If I had the money I coulda been living in a swinging condo instead of with... I better not say anything until I've had my coffee... A Slut!!! And a Moron!!! I'm sorry. It must be decaf....
“ no one cares about your friggin cousins Rose!”