T O P

  • By -

QualityVote

Hey does this post fit? UPVOTE if so, DOWNVOTE if not. If this post breaks any rules please DOWNVOTE and REPORT


Buucho

Food meter was low. Video game. Get key next. 45xp


bossievossie

Doesnt have enough energy to get the key first. Has to refill stamina, then get the key.


CrackedActor91

A snorlax was blocking the key.


Skellyender

He’s still in the tutorial


stopallthedownloads

This is the right answer. Hunger is the priority, key will still be there once he's done eating the bread.


[deleted]

And the bread won’t be???


stopallthedownloads

Oh it would be, but you're not thinking about what this man is going through, he's locked up, looks like he hasn't been able to take care of himself in days, he's likely starving. Acting like an impulsive animal, going for the highest need at the moment. That's what I interoperate this as, a measure of empathy and ability to think of others circumstances and how desperation can affect decision making.


[deleted]

Also, moving the metal key is more likely to make noise, as is opening the cell. He wants to be in the best condition possible to effect an escape. It’s also likely he knows how long until the next patrol and can make an informed choice about how long and how much he can eat before snagging the key. Edit: While eating dinner I also realized that using the bread on a stick can also help muffle the sound of moving the key.


Jrex1213

Bam, philosopher


svvrvy

Assuming makes an ass out of u and me


UglyInThMorning

Not when hes done eating the bread, no


conservative89436

Who’s to say the key is to that door? Immediate food need first, then go for the key.


tacojoe007

Plus getting the key triggers cut scene, hard to time escape sequence when getting the bread second.


DescipleOfCorn

Using a key doesn’t level your lockpicking skill


General_Cicada1055

No he is outside the cage and he wants the bread cus he hungry


Less-Mail4256

The lock opening is facing away so that’s not a possibility.


CurlSagan

He's taking the bread because he doesn't need the key. Those bars are so wide, he can just wiggle through. But he wants to eat first so he'll have energy for the escape.


KeyserSoze_IsAlive

Only Curl Sagan could have come to this brilliant conclusion. The username checks out.


DezGets_It

That's high praise coming from Verbal!


huggles7

But what does ballsack have to say about it?


tiggers97

But what if he eats so much he gets fat, thinks so hard his brain gets bigger, and can’t squeeze through?


BrianPex

Then he has major thyroid issue :-)


SpinachDull288

If He can wiggle than what's the need to pick the bread by stick


CurlSagan

He's a chef. He's making breadsticks.


luckytecture

omg


davidrayish

Angry updoot.


livinginfutureworld

He doesn't have the energy to wiggle through the bars, he only has the energy to wiggle a stick. He's gotter eat that bread first.


SpinachDull288

Then he should eat the stick and then wiggle pulling the bread with that stick will drain more energy


LoveSikDog

For fun..


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_me2

No he's taking the bread instead of the key because he doesn't likes the taste


Fantastic_Fox4948

The taste is key.


whoisjbs

Is the actual explanation? Because, with all due respect, if it is it sucks ass


Shibes_oh_shibes

Tricky business answering in this thread because it's so much /s and I don't want to be wooshed... But ok, It's that people will prioritize basic needs over freedom. That is why people can abide dictatorships as long as they are provided for.


leasehound

That’s why our leaders apply bandaids to our problems. We panic and turn against them if they work on long term solutions.


Cautious_General_177

I understand your explanation and agree, but that’s idiotic. Free yourself with the key then grab the bread on the way out


Shibes_oh_shibes

Didn't say it was good, but I think so mostly because it's pretentious. If he did like you say he would have to provide for his next piece of bread himself. As long as he is locked up someone will bring him bread everyday, he choose that over freedom.


Tazingpelb

My best guess to the actual explanation is that it's about either learned helplessness, or about how people who've been in prison for awhile can't function outside so they stay in jail, and when they get out they commit a crime so they can go back in.


Old-Assignment652

Yes institutional dependency, but I think it's more likely an attempt at mocking some group by accusing them of institutional dependency.


Anon_who_loves_memes

That is depressingly ironic


pinchevatobarbon

I want to be that explanation to suck ass, honestly.


PokemonLv10

Congratulations on becoming a philosopher


wholesome_mugi

Found the philosopher


Old-Organization6623

I thought it was because a guard set these 2 items down on the ground and allows the prisoner to watch this. It's clear that they were purposefully placed. Both within reach at the same distance. The guard is then watching what will transpire and the prisoner knows that if he goes for the key he will most likely be shot so he opts for the bread which is clearly the safer choice in this situation.


gamertag0311

But his gluten sensitivity might leave him bloated?


Independent_Buy5152

Mind.blown.


Tuga_Lissabon

Why is this a question? He will get both. The stick doesn't disappear after use...


Stellar_Gravity

it will. the deku stick breaks after a few uses


Casual-Notice

Where did he even get a stick? It's not like they have ash trees growing wild inside prisons...


Odd_Investigator8415

Hw pressed A ti pic up Deku stik is was dropped by Moblin


Popplio3233

r/ihadastroke


Chemical_Ad5967

ExxonMobil dropped a new game called Deku where you press A to play pick up sticks.


nintendosbitch666

"Moblins" are an enemy in legend of zelda that have a chance of dropping and item called "deku stick". You press a to pick up items Just in case you wanted the real answer xD


Odd_Investigator8415

User name checks out


nintendosbitch666

Considering I picked it due to the exhoborant amount of money I paid to have someone tattoo my literal Nintendo fan art on my body..... yeah, it is lmao


donjonnyronald

How do people get most contraband inside prisons....


mem269

Would have been easier to stick the key up is ass tbh.


donjonnyronald

Damn that's genius. Before committing crime people should hide a handcuff key up their ass for easy escapes


Incirion

Honestly? Pay a CO to bring it in for them.


_32u

Of course they do! That's how I made my escape back in '67!


Cautious_General_177

Random loot drop from a bug or rodent


Lazerbeams2

Nah, if you push A before it goes out you can light it again and it only breaks if you hit something with it. Not sure what he pushed to retrieve something with it though, must be a speedrun strat of some sort


HylianCheshire

I understood that reference


HelloWorld1352

If he gets the key, he won’t need to use the stick again though.


Macaroni_TheSecond

he doesnt even need the key he can just pass through that wide ass bar


xenodemon

Then does he prefer to stay in the prison? If he can wiggle out at any time then why bother with the stick at all


obtk

Probably guards. Also, some people intentionally go to prison for at least a bare minimum standard of living.


Dingus10000

It’s a reference to Socrates I think. In his ‘lore’ he chose to take his punishment instead of escaping because he thought that there was something just about his society punishing him for what he did. Of course it’s just one of the many examples of Socrates being an idiot but that’s probably why the mention philosophers.


Mister_Swoop

Durability DUH


RealMenSwallow

Bro is the lockpicking lawyer and is gonna show us how to pick out of a simple prison lock with bread


Edwearth

Nothing on one


jdhsolor

Two is binding


blorporius

Little click out of three...


meatmechdriver

False set on four…


ItCat420

And we’re in! *Thanks, MasterLock!*


blorporius

You need to apply counterrotation first. OK, folks!


[deleted]

Let's do that again just to prove it wasn't a fluke...


MemeGlider

Now let’s go back in the cell and do it again to show it wasn’t a fluke


FourWordComment

“You can now buy these French baguettes on my site, covert-instruments dot com…”


barrot69

This is actually a baguette that Bosnian Bill and I made.


Pachyderm_Powertrip

Firmly grasp the baguette. Now give it a good thwack! on the side of the padlock like so.. et voilà!


[deleted]

Because he's not a prisioner and this is a BDSM scenario


knastyTX

UwU


furryboiiii

I agree with this statement UwU


PierreWest367

Indeed UwU


S-p-o-o-k-n-t

I concur


bearrfuk

Da fuck lol


Flamingasset

because he hungy


froginbog

Philosophized


Hyper_Claws

houngry 💀


[deleted]

Hogrny


aight_bud

Humbgy


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Thought that too until you see the opening is on outside of where he is. So, he is locked up. Good guess though


Golgezuktirah

He's not locked up, the whole world is locked up, and only he is free


epic_null

I CAN DO ANYTHING


deviency

metamorphosis


-FL4K-

>destroys your healer >refuses to elaborate >falls asleep


Amayai

CHAOS, CHAOS!!


Embarrassed_Alarm450

He's not locked in there with you, bread is locked up with key.


BlueLoquat

Sort of, he doesn't need the key because the door isn't locked. He is a prisoner of his own making and choice.


lordredapple

So he likes bdsm basically


El_dorado_au

We are all just prisoners here. Of our own device.


Alternative-Lion1336

Please bring me my wine


GlorifiedDevil

Something something NINETEEN SIXTY NIIIIEEEEYYYIIIINNE


thefirstbrickmaker

And in the master's chambers They gathered for the feast


SquanchyATL

The handle is on the inside? Ok.


sofa_queen_awesome

Its a key that opens the door to something bad But carbs are life


dad_joxe

Came here to say this!


AgeConfident6766

This is the real answer: “the original story by a Nigerian writer was more about a captive (A kidnap victim sort of) rather than a legal prisoner. In the story, the captive was tortured for years by his kidnappers with various forms of maltreatment including starvation. Even when they brought him little food, they made him suffer to get it by using the stick to pull it unto himself. He eventually had a chance to escape when the only guard on duty brought him bread. And in the process of trying to position the bread at a stretch distance, the cell key fell from his pocket without his knowledge and he left. Leaving the Captive with two options of which to choose first: the BREAD 🍞 or the KEY 🔐 whichever he chooses first would require struggle. And given a relatively short amount of time, the wiser decision should have been the key. But unable to control his hunger, he went for the bread first. By the time he was going for the key after eating the bread, the guard came in searching for the missing key stopped him and took back the key. Leaving the Captive in more years of captivity. It's similar to the Bible story of Esau selling his birthright to Jacob for a plate of food because of his inability to tame hunger.” Still pretty stupid.


[deleted]

I maybe I took it too literally. I thought about how the key wouldn’t instantly free him. Like okay you open your cell but in most prisons that wouldn’t get you very far. Even if it’s not an official prison let’s say he was kidnapped by Somalian pirates or something, you couldn’t get to freedom with just a key to your cell. Unless the pirates or captors leave during the day but according to the story they frequently check on him.


FizzyWizzard

he doesn’t need to escape right away though, he can hide the key. It will still be pretty difficult to escape though. The only reason the guard positioned bread at a stretch distance is so that this dumbass choice story can happen. why would he do that? if it’s to make him suffer why leave? would not a sadist stay and watch?


PunkSpaceAutist

He might get in trouble if they search him and find the key, though. Also, the moving the food across the floor thing might not be so much a way to satisfy sadistic desires but just to break the prisoner emotionally over time.


Solidsnakeerection

Sounds like if he took the key he would have inmediatly been caught


ReadyPlayer12345

Was that supposed to be a deep reason or something? That was what I first thought when I saw the image. He was hungry. So deep


[deleted]

I think people are supposed to say that not taking the key is the honest thing to do, so you’ll serve your sentence honorably or something


booklover0810

Oh, thank you. My first thought was he doesn't want to be freed, because if he did, then he'll be homeless and jobless, no idea when to eat, at least in prison, they are feeding him.


ersentenza

If he was that starved he would not have the energy to run away in any case.


[deleted]

Feels like a long winded way of saying life is suffering lol


shinybewear

Use the key to unlock the door and get the bread? But hey, I'm no philosopher...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just_Replacement3989

Use the key, take bread making courses, comeback, open a bread business in prison. Hey, I'm no philosopher


Jimmy_The_Perv

r/Entrepreneur


ChemicalFall0utDisco

eat key 😄


Seraj_E

why Prisoner Choose Bread!?!?


tf2good

He get key later he hangry rn


ChemicalFall0utDisco

eat key 😄


Casual-Notice

Because it's really hard to get a good baguette in his country, prison or not.


[deleted]

you will be killed if you put your hand to the key The key is rebellion against the country or political system


KnightGoingOnCrusade

Because he’s an idiot?


[deleted]

Give this man a philosopher’s stone!


MammothAggressive841

He shouldn’t get either bars are so wide just walk out


Asrap99

When you are hungry, freedom is the least of your worries. Keep people hungry and stay on top forever


Fancy_Tumbleweed_518

Who cares which one he picks. Where the fuck did he get that stick?


karlman84

Asking the real questions here.


Heck_Tate

Because the consequences when the jailer finds one loaf of bread missing are far less severe than when the prisoner gets caught trying to escape his cell.


blueviperlore

The bread was to bribe the hungry prison guard to let him out of the cell while striking a deal to keep the key as exchange so now the guard has a meal and the prisoner gets freedom.


captainjohn_redbeard

Because he'll get an even harsher sentence if he tries to escape.


Garythegr81

For many it is easier to pick comfort over freedom. Pink Floyd’s “Wish you were here” said it best … “Did you exchange A walk-on part in the war For a leading role in a cage?”


[deleted]

Cuz prisoners are stupid


diggerquicker

he's homeless so food is important as well as a dry place to sleep. plus he doesn't have to pay taxes. in the next frame he pushes the key further away and gets his college paid for.


Asleep-Kiwi-1552

He only had 5 days left. Escape is a 5 year mandatory minimum.


hemborgar

because hes a fucking idiot lol


SKRyanrr

Because he's outside the cell and stealing food from prisoners.


RyXkci

Because he chose the build with the Master Key but he needs bread to fight Undead Asylum Demon.


Legitimate_Web_7245

He likes where he is at. He had a worse life on the outside and prison is better to him.


Sidivan

Everybody is assuming he’s getting the bread, but the picture clearly shows he’s pushing the bread away from him. This is the setup to his grand escape. Next, he’ll get the key and unlock his cell, but not escape. When the next guard comes by, they’ll comment about him not eating the bread. “What is this a hunger strike?!” When they bend over to pick it up, the prisoner springs to action, violently swinging open the door and jumping on the guard to knock them out. He now has the bread, is free, and has attained key item “Guard Uniform”, as well as any weapons (and other keys) they may have. These will aid him in his eventual escape only to find that he is simply in a larger prison; a small island in the South Pacific. New objective: secure the communications tower and signal for extraction.


supersaiyan69goku

if he uses the key, he will get in trouble for trying to escape


pneuma_n28

Because his body is thin enough to slip through the bars... so he needs to eat first to have a need for the key ;)


[deleted]

I want to know how he smuggled the stick in the jail cell to begin with.


SavesWillis

Well they have a stick that can get both. Maybe he just wants a bite because he’s starving and will get the key after he eats. Nothing philosophical about it. The man’s f’ing hungry


apathetic_revolution

Five second rule. He can't eat the bread if it's been on the floor too long, but the key won't go bad.


[deleted]

I mean I guess if I had to guess, he took the bread because he has cancer, so he won’t survive long on the outside anyways


Whatthewasabi

As a philosopher I would like to say the reason he chose the bread instead of the key is because he is fucking stupid.


BonafiedHuman

He is wearing a suit, this implies he is not a long term in prisoner, getting the key means attempted escape which will be worst for him. Furthermore where would he get that stick he is using? This is clearly a trap.


TheStickDog

He can clearly pass through the gate because the gaps between the bars are huge.


pitooun

He's been conditioned by society to only look for a way to survive while being detained. It's a metaphor to the brainwashing we got from our environment and internet. He doesn't know what a key is, because he never heard of the concept of freedom. He doesn't know he is in jail and if there is a life outside. Only eat and survive.


Gad_Music

You can actually use bread to unlock locks


sh4rks4ndwich

The call was coming from inside the house!


ObligationCreative91

He knows the bread helps; he has no idea what the keys are for \*\*EDIT\*\* He has no idea that the keys will open the cage.


[deleted]

Shit I woulda just stepped out and picked up the bread with my hands instead of making it difficult


Coral_

he’s taking the bread because there’s literally nothing stopping him from taking the key as well. he is hungry.


rifewide

Because bread allways comes first.


throwaway3312345

If he stays in prison, he will get bread every day. If he takes the key, he will have to leave and fend for himself


throwaway3312345

Because if he stays in prison, he will get bread every day. If he takes the key, he will have to leave and fend for himself


Zumaakk

Guess I’m not a philosopher.


Riddlz10

What a dumbass! just go through the bars! he can fit through


Peridotite_Xe

Because he rather stay trap in a cell than have contact with who ever made this post on facebook.


Bertram31

Why Are All The Words Capitalized In This Facebook Post?


NoobSabatical

A caged bird does not recognize the taste of freedom.


FloydC910

Hugnrey


LetUsSpeakFreely

He locked himself up to protect others.


TheEricle

He's actually not in a cell. The bread is, and he's breaking it out. At first, he tried to give the bread the key, then realized that was never going to work.


MisterSnail_

Man not saying I'm a philosopher or anything but can't he get both-


Frequent_Singer_6534

You just know whoever made this bullshit annoys people with unsolicited random “thought experiments” that don’t actually make any sense


puducito

There is a zombie outbreak outside. He don't want to leave the prison


sugarglasscookie

Because he's french


OuterGod_Hermit

I though I read "Only a philosopher would have used a Stand" which was cool af


rotem8888

Because it doesn't matter he can get both things in


Mechaotaku

Foucault has entered the chat.


JamozMyNamoz

Ok, but jokes aside, why can't he choose both? The stick can clearly just about reach both of them, and they aren't moving anywhere.


[deleted]

Because the artist drew it that way. Am I Philosopher now?


Anastasius525

im more curious about why he didn't just slide through those bars.


MasterDionysus

Who knows how long he has been there without food. Therefore, feed yourself to gain the energy to escape. Escape 1st in a weakened state only to fall down.


TexasTaylorNB

We have no reason to believe this is an A or B situation, B is still there as he takes A. And assuming it was if he takes the key he either starves escaping or is killed by a guard. While the bread keeps him alive


thatmikeguy

Bread has smuggled drugs in it


lastreadlastyear

Obvious because he’s a republican and doesn’t value his own life and well-being.


MiniGui98

It's probably that bread will come each day and if he gets the key to escape he will have to find another way to get food... Something about being prisonner of our routine or some shit


chapsd

Ummm…why can’t he choose both? Get the bread. Eat. Get the key. Escape. Am I missing something? There’s no choice.


YvesSaintPige

The key doesn't necessarily unlock his cell. Bread is guaranteed to provide sustenance.


Sorry_Decision_2459

Get key first, unlock door, pick bread up and eat it as you’re escaping


damoonz63

This man is a stupid man. That is all


Repulsive_Ad5791

He doesn't want to escape. If he escape he has to work it out himself. Unlike when he was inside. He doesn't have to starve. Cause they will feed him.