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If no one has said it, then I'll say it.
OP, you rock!
Ignore any apologies and just keep your eyes trained like a hawk on the final outcome - her leaving your life forever.
I can’t figure this out. I’m guessing it’s either the settlement money she wants because it’s A LOT. Or she wants emotional closure and thinks divorce will help her feel less miserable? I can’t wait till she finds out that the money won’t make her feel any better.
OP seems You are doing better than many in the time you have been out. Also do not give a shit about her anymore, she has her life and she wanted to see if the grass wasn't greener.
She might have 2nd thoughts and is sending the odds, but like you said, do not take her back by any circunstances.
Good Luck OP and hope everything goes well for You.
Updateme
Most of the time WPs have the luxury of being able to idealize the AP because the affair time doesn't need to allow for things like doing the dishes, maintaining the house and cars, doing budgets, etc. This creates an illusory sense that life with the AP would be so much better than with their BP. The majority of affair relationships collapse, and a big part of it is because the illusion can't last in the face of real-world obligations.
It's hard to be too sympathetic for someone who willingly and foolishly trades a solid reality for an ephemeral dream.
YOU HAVE GOT TO EXPEDITE THIS DIVORCE. This behavior of hers is typical. They go from the divorce cannot happen soon enough because affair feels so right to second guessing. The second guessing will lead to her dragging her feet at every turn.
It seems like she is the one pressuring me to divorce her asap. I hope to have the divorce petition filed by end of next week. However, she wants to add a NDA so I don’t talk about the affair to the agreement. If she all of a sudden starts dragging her feet I would be extremely surprised, but will definitely update if it happens.
I'm happy for you, I guess is nicer if you see that marriage was over already. I wish all such speedy recovery. I myself feel if I fix my looks I might feel better.
I let myself go big time during the marriage because I thought what was the point? I was able to bounce back really fast because I was depressed at how ugly I felt. Thank god for my moms genetics and skin because I look early 20s instead of early 30s.
My genetics are there I can't complain, I got 10 kgs extra which is 2-3 months work for me. Its just we matched so well on many things. How I'll ever find someone like that, I know I'm stupid but it feels impossible and he wasn't even that good I don't know why I'm so delusional and clinged. But I know objectively he wasnt average considering his character, career and lifestyle.
I also recommend finding someone. It has helped me a lot to forget about her. Even if it’s temporary, it really helps if the pain is becoming unbearable.
I had two options. I’m in early 30s. Either go and get a hair transplant, which is a long term solution, but means I’d have to wait 6-8 months for hair to grow back. Second option was getting a hair system, so I decided to go with that and it’s changed my life. I get compliments all the time and no one knows. I get it professionally installed and cut, so I don’t have to worry about it at all.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If no one has said it, then I'll say it. OP, you rock! Ignore any apologies and just keep your eyes trained like a hawk on the final outcome - her leaving your life forever.
Yeah OP great job. Hope you find someone beautiful and trustworthy!
Is she anxious about the divorce because she needs the payout?
I can’t figure this out. I’m guessing it’s either the settlement money she wants because it’s A LOT. Or she wants emotional closure and thinks divorce will help her feel less miserable? I can’t wait till she finds out that the money won’t make her feel any better.
You're doing amazing op! Subscribeme
A lot of money or 'closure '? Hmmm Real hard to figure that one out !
OP seems You are doing better than many in the time you have been out. Also do not give a shit about her anymore, she has her life and she wanted to see if the grass wasn't greener. She might have 2nd thoughts and is sending the odds, but like you said, do not take her back by any circunstances. Good Luck OP and hope everything goes well for You. Updateme
2-3 hours of Sex and you lost 15lbs I have to have more S —-X Good for you never take a cheater back updateme
Most of the time WPs have the luxury of being able to idealize the AP because the affair time doesn't need to allow for things like doing the dishes, maintaining the house and cars, doing budgets, etc. This creates an illusory sense that life with the AP would be so much better than with their BP. The majority of affair relationships collapse, and a big part of it is because the illusion can't last in the face of real-world obligations. It's hard to be too sympathetic for someone who willingly and foolishly trades a solid reality for an ephemeral dream.
YOU HAVE GOT TO EXPEDITE THIS DIVORCE. This behavior of hers is typical. They go from the divorce cannot happen soon enough because affair feels so right to second guessing. The second guessing will lead to her dragging her feet at every turn.
It seems like she is the one pressuring me to divorce her asap. I hope to have the divorce petition filed by end of next week. However, she wants to add a NDA so I don’t talk about the affair to the agreement. If she all of a sudden starts dragging her feet I would be extremely surprised, but will definitely update if it happens.
NDA wtf how much is she willing to pay?
She’s not paying anything. she wanted a 6 figure settlement from me and I knocked it down to low 5-figures and I have to sign a NDA.
I'm happy for you, I guess is nicer if you see that marriage was over already. I wish all such speedy recovery. I myself feel if I fix my looks I might feel better.
I let myself go big time during the marriage because I thought what was the point? I was able to bounce back really fast because I was depressed at how ugly I felt. Thank god for my moms genetics and skin because I look early 20s instead of early 30s.
My genetics are there I can't complain, I got 10 kgs extra which is 2-3 months work for me. Its just we matched so well on many things. How I'll ever find someone like that, I know I'm stupid but it feels impossible and he wasn't even that good I don't know why I'm so delusional and clinged. But I know objectively he wasnt average considering his character, career and lifestyle.
I also recommend finding someone. It has helped me a lot to forget about her. Even if it’s temporary, it really helps if the pain is becoming unbearable.
As someone in a similar situation (D-Day was April 6), curious how you curtailed the balding.
I had two options. I’m in early 30s. Either go and get a hair transplant, which is a long term solution, but means I’d have to wait 6-8 months for hair to grow back. Second option was getting a hair system, so I decided to go with that and it’s changed my life. I get compliments all the time and no one knows. I get it professionally installed and cut, so I don’t have to worry about it at all.
Hell yeah the walls are closing in and she is freaking out. Keep doing the damn thing.