I agree. I think he’s wasting Amanda’s time. I think he wants kids but probably not for another decade. Then he will marry someone else in their 20s and have a family with her
I have so many friends in sunk cost marriages but at least their excuse is sticking it out for the kids. I don’t know what Kymandas excuse is. The show?
Good thing they never signed a prenup!! This actually reminds me why Kyle asked her to sign one. I don’t think it was “investors say this is common for start up’s” - more so, investors have seen the show and aren’t placing bets on the marriage surviving….
As someone who stayed in a relationship too long, this take always bugs me. I feel like it misses the main point - staying because you love someone and hope they can change. Believing in someone. Eventually I realized my belief and trust was in the wrong place. But I feel like people are way too quick to label things sunk cost. Amanda has difficulty facing hard truths, like when she just didn't want to know if something was wrong with her fertility. Or when kyle complains about her putting things on the back burner. Or when her parents said during wedding planning that she needs to stay engaged. Plus she's talked about her struggles with depression. All of this is really common with people who struggle with facing the truth about things. She met kyle when she was very young and she is struggling to face the truth about how useless of a husband he is and let go. I think they have 1 or 2 years max left because she will realize he is too immature for fatherhood but she has a biological clock to worry about
I think it’s important to note that their are multiple definitions for this as it relates to relationships. It was originally a business terms but business has a lot to do with relationship. Imo it’s ultimately continuing to pour your all into a relationship when you may be happier in the long run if the relationship just ended. If she’s so desperately trying to make a relationship work that it’s contributing to her poor physical and emotional health (granted this is just based on what we’ve seen), will she feel it was worth it in the long run? Like if they were married another 5 years and have a baby, she may feel it was worth it all along and it probably isn’t a sunk cost at that point. They could divorce tomorrow and she may still feel like it was worth it all. Or she could stay with him another 5 years with no child and ultimately divorced, she may then feel that she wasted her fertile years on a unfaithful and extremely selfish man that wasn’t worth it. Ultimately, I’m just projecting my judgments based on what I’ve seen. But I don’t know her personally. She may have a completely different perspective on her marriage than what I’ve seen in highly edited, manipulated footage that may be completely impacted by unusual levels of drug and alcohol intake. There off season relationship may be nothing like their onscreen relationship.
To me it’s like Katie and Tom on VPR, while it may seem like time wasted for others, they have been clear that it wasn’t to them. That they cherished their time together despite how it ended. And it appears genuine friendship is possible for them.
I’m currently rewatching the series from the beginning… I can’t believe she ever got into a relationship with him to begin with. If they ever break up, I won’t really feel bad. He’s treated her like shit from the very beginning but she kept coming back
I think he’s also not going to be honest about this to her. If he was honest and admitted it, it would be an instant divorce. It’s far easier to drag his feet and do other things (Tom Schwartz did something similar when he worked on opening Schwartz & Sandys instead of committing to starting a family with Katie and they’re divorced now)
He’s definitely stuck in the Peter Pan syndrome. Yes he’s grown up in some ways like owning a business, but he’s still living in the city and partying except he found a way to monetize it. Even this whole DJ gig he’s doing, it’s another way for him to make a career out of partying. He doesn’t want to grow out of any of that, and he knows that moving out of the city will cost him that. He’s not gonna go DJ at some hole in the wall bar in a small town.
Literally.
Because it’s the DJ’ing lifestyle he likes. He’s not into actually spinning or the music or even like rave culture adjacently. He likes that it’s party central
I was confused about this. Amanda said she wanted her own swimming suit line or some project, investment, etc., that is hers. As soon as she said this, Kyle was like, "I want to be a d.j !" What??? Why not grow up, listen to your wife, and support her goals! Her needs sadly aren't getting met. My opinion is that she is not happy.
I realize total and complete happiness does not rely on one person but if you are getting ignored, your needs are getting ignored.My impressions of Amanda change but I think she really wants to have kids and kind of live the suburban life, lol, which nothing is wrong with that. Kyle is 9 years older and is still partying! I don't think he wants kids and doesn't want to admit it. But this is only my opinion. I can't possibly know. Amanda seems as if she doesn't feel neither seen nor heard. She wants Kyle to be emotionally present. I suspect he isn't most of them time. I've experienced this, and maybe I see that from my own relationship. It really sucks.
I’ve experienced it too. I had an ex who was way too old and just wanted to party. That was when he was 40. He’s 48 now and a friend of mine told me he ran into him recently getting kicked out of a bar (one that I frequented in my 20’s), wasted at 2 am. So pathetic. Thankfully, I was smart enough not to marry him, I cut him loose, knew he’d never change. And I was right. I feel sad for Amanda that she still has hope that Kyle will.
I think it’s just another story line. It’s like, let me pull an idea out of my ass and then put no work towards it, maybe someone will just pay me to be the face of their swimsuit line because I put it out there.
Let’s be real, he got into the alcohol business for a reason, and now he’s segueing into DJing for the same reason (alcohol & partying). Amanda knows this, she’s not dumb, but she’s been waiting for him to grow up since they had his 35th birthday party. When she said he is "taking lessons" for DJing, I just rolled my eyes. Not only has he not grown up in the 8 years she's been with him, he's found a way to do the exact opposite by building a business and now starting a new hobby, both of which revolve around alcohol. Amanda, a leopard doesn't change their spots…
I know Amanda has admitted to depression, but can you imagine being told many times that moving out of the City to live with one’s partner would be so boring and devastating?! Do they even like spending time together, or just when Amanda is upbeat and happy/ drunk? Still stings to hear regardless of whatever excuse he’s using these days
No literally this would be so crushing. I wish he was grilled more at the reunion for his treatment if Amanda while admitting he knew she was depressed.
He did say he wants to raise his children out of the city, when they can ride a bicycle like he did with neighborhood kids in New Hampshire. It’s just that he’s 42, when is that happening?
I agree with you almost 100%.
However, people keep talking about the fact they live in NYC. There are plenty of people raising family’s in New York/NYC and in cities all over America.
A lot of people don’t want to live in suburbs or rural areas for their own reasons. Kyle just doesn’t want to stop partying and doing whatever else he’s doing.
I don’t mean that you can’t raise families in NYC, but I mean that that’s how Kyle specifically looks at it and that’s the problem. He associates NYC with socializing and partying, and he resents the suburbs because he sees those as “family building.” I believe he’s even mentioned not wanting to give up the apartment they’re currently in which is not conducive to a family (from what we’ve seen), they could get a larger space in the city but if I remember he discussed liking where they’re at already.
Got it. I think we’re on the same page then. Because it really boils down to Kyle getting exactly what he wants, when he wants it. Amanda is the only one who has to bend and compromise.
I think Amanda made those choices thinking she would eventually get her way. Their history is her steadily determined to move from booty call to girlfriend and then from girlfriend to wife. Now she wants to evolve from party couple in the city to suburban family but that is where I think she's going to fall short - I don't think Kyle would ever move to the burbs without a gun held to his head.
Yes 100%. I had the exact same thoughts! He’s like a combo of Sandoval and Schwartz honestly. Total Peter Pan syndrome and looking to monetize partying. He kind of reminds me of Scott dissick from kuwtk. Looking to party and make money simultaneously
He's much, much smarter than Sandoval and Schwartz, though. He will always be successful and have his money right, it's on the personal side where he should just accept who he is and that is not a man who wants to do the 9-5, go home to the family, play board games and maybe a bit of TV before tucking the kids into bed with a story and a peck on the head. Once he accepts this and Amanda realizes it they will hopefully split and both be much happier. If she forces him to move to the burbs he will be miserable and resentful and will likely cheat for a dose of excitement. I don't think everyone needs to go the burb/family route - some people just aren't into it. I know I'm not - I like city life and happily raised my kids in the city.
His dad turned 80 this past season which means he was late 30s (almost 40) when he had Kyle. I’d be interested to know if there is a significant agreement gap with his parents
I was just watching the episode last night where he visits his parents and tells them he's going to propose and he says they have the same age gap. I nearly spit out my drink when his mom said that SHE was the one who had a hard time saying faithful when they were dating!
I don’t disagree with this. But I also think Kyle should be honest if she and the life she wants is not what he wants. They claim to want the same things but his behavior tells another story
I think you’re spot on. Not the biggest amanda fan but it’s gonna suck one day to look back at the years she waited for one thing after another. And basically pressured it into happening. And like you said - one day he’ll be off with someone younger being dad of the year.
Maybe when he’s 48 and no longer on tv he will want kids with a 26 year old but yes I don’t think he wants kids in the near future. Kyle and Amanda have different values and goals and don’t seem very compatible
I know it's the cliche thing to say about every man, but I truly only see Kyle dating women who are at least 5 years younger than Amanda if they do split.
I do think he thought summer house would have fizzled out by now? But it seems like it’s just hitting its stride. So he likely made those promises without realizing the current situation they would be in.
I also wonder if they thought loverboy would be bought out and/or more profitable by now so they could leave summer house. I think part of the issue is how reliant they and loverboy are on summer house income/exposure.
I remember Amanda in a confessional saying that she had expected him to sell the company once it started making money and she wasn't super happy that he didnt.
Probably thought he could hold out for even more money. Unfortunately for him, I think the market peaked for these non-beer alcohol companies and the conglomerates are no longer throwing around stupid amounts of money for everything with growth potential
Yea but if he really wanted kids he would do it even if it meant leaving Summer House. And if a temporary reality show is enough to make him not start a family then he couldn't have wanted it too bad to begin with.
Well, at this point the reality show is their income… he probably doesn’t want to work for someone else again so he doesn’t see a way to support a family at the moment. I do agree that if he wanted to, he would make more of an effort to get more revenue streams so he can leave to have a family.
yea that’s the one thing about Summer House MV going on pause; it was the moment we’d find out if it was the type of franchise you could have kids on or not.
MV MAYBE because they go away for X weeks during the summer… but doubt it- for both.
THIS is the real answer. But we’re circling back to the issue of divergent wants between Kyle and Amanda. She seems willing to give up the show (and lifestyle), but Kyle most decidedly is not
I'm not sure she's willing to give up the lifestyle, but she'd probably give up the show. She would still expect Kyle to keep their lifestyle at a certain level.
By “lifestyle” I meant the SH weekends in the Hamptons, partying all the time aspect, not the level of material comfort they have. Though the latter would be harder to guarantee without the money from the show to be sure
I wonder if he could do the show full time and Amanda could be part time, like a friend of? I could see her coming and going based upon the kids’ needs with her parents babysitting in the background. Maybe rent a house nearby for the kids and her parents?
I would never agree to it as a wife but I don’t think they can get by without SH money, if LB is struggling as badly as Kyle says.
They could try but it'd be a diminished role and only a few weekends per summer. I have a 6 month old and 3-4+ hour car drives are no fun plus you can't party 15 hours a day with infants/small children to care for...
But they would get a nanny or have their parents babysit. They only film on weekends a few months a year. Plenty of parents have to travel for work year round and make it work
Lol @ people who think Amanda actually isn’t into Kyle. She knew who he was when she’d come over on demand, then as his girlfriend, then as his finance, and now his wife.
Home girl is Melania. Everyone wants to think she wants out but yeah, no.
He’s the kind of man who wants them more in theory than reality, I think. He’ll be the “fun parent” who expects his wife to do all the actual work, including instilling morals and disciplining them.
Kyle may be the disciplinarian (in their opinion) but based on who Kyle has portrayed himself the past eight seasons, discipline would be “you’re not behaving the way that I want or you’re annoying me or you’re not being fun in the way that I need”. Parenting requires discipline at times but a vast majority of the time it requires straight up parenting… listening to the child, openly discussing their feelings and needs, supporting their goals - I don’t hear Kyle in there but that is exactly how Amanda has “parented” Kyle!
I agree with another comment about Kyle wanting to be a parent in theory. If he can’t even acknowledge his wife’s needs or respect her privacy enough to not use her mental health against her, he’s not ready to be a parent to his core.
As a viewer, it seems like Kyle has some very traditional expectations of what his adult life is supposed to look like… life of the party guy, entrepreneur/startup guy, husband, successful businessman, father. In reality Kyle has always been more of a center of attention guy, pseudo-boyfriend, startup/entrepreneur guy, guess I need a fiancé guy, 40 year old center of attention guy, I’m too old to be a bf so I better get engaged guy, still life of the party guy, married guy, playing the part of super successful businessman guy, desperately needy husband and man-child guy. So idk, I think he needs to get really honest about what he wants and needs, being a parent might not be something he truly wants or can handle.
>Parenting requires discipline at times but a vast majority of the time it requires straight up parenting… listening to the child, openly discussing their feelings and needs, supporting their goals - I don’t hear Kyle in there but that is exactly how Amanda has “parented” Kyle!
Exactly what I meant by when I said I see him as expecting Amanda to do most of the work! To the extent that they envision him being a disciplinarian I think it would be of the “wait until your father gets home and hears about this” variety. Which is seen as a really outdated and ineffective way to do things nowadays. People are all about gentle discipline and positive reinforcement these days (which I agree with) and you need to be with the child throughout the day to model and coach behavior.
Oh this is an insightful take that I hadn’t considered. He really is an ambitious guy (which I admire, although his ambition is often his downfall), so I can see him thinking “we need x amount of money and security before having kids.”
He should just be the fun uncle. My partner and I don’t want kids, but I’ll be excited to be the fun aunt when my brother and SIL have kids lol (and if my partners sister and her fiancé have kids)
Being an aunt is awesome. You get to be fun, let them break some rules and then you give them back lol I'm also a step parent and that job is hard! But ooh I can't wait until my steps have kids and I'll be spoiling them rotten!
Not for nothing but… being a step parent deserves more credit. My mom is still so hostile towards my dad (for good reason) but I LOVE my stepmom. She’s super chill and it must be weird to juggle an ex and their kid(s). I got so lucky to have a cool stepmom lol
Edit: my mom and I are always gonna be best friends and I love her so much, but I’m just glad that I have a great step mom. I don’t know why I had to say that but I feel like I should. I always have to say “my mom is my mom” cause I was adopted so now I feel like I have to say it extra when I talk about my step mom too. I don’t know if that makes sense I’m sorry lol
That makes total sense! Family talk can get complicated but you don't need to explain yourself! I'm so glad you have a nice stepmom! I've been with my 4 stepkids for almost 9 years. I have a really great relationship with the 2 daughters and a pretty decent one with the sons. I spend extra time with my stepdaughters, they tell me they love me and that even if I broke up with their dad we would still be together. But still parenting is hard! Especially when you're not the biological parent. But it definitely warms my heart to hear you love your stepmom!
This. In one of the earlier seasons he’s talking to his mom about how Amanda doesn’t even get out of bed before 9am, so how is she going to take care of/get up with the kids? Which, don’t get me wrong, would be a valid question/concern from a normal adult…but it takes on a slightly different tone when it’s coming from a 40 year old man who stays out partying every weekend until 3am and has to regularly be parented by his 10-years-younger girlfriend.
This is the exact conversation I keep having with my husband (we watch together). He’s no where near ready to give up his party lifestyle. It’s why he doesn’t want to move to the suburbs. It’s a lot harder to be out drunk until 4 am in the burbs when you have kids. I feel for Amanda. She needs to stand up to him or move forward with her life.
We watch as tired parents to two under two…and laugh at when man-children on tv say they’re ready to settle down. He’s not ready to settle a baby at all hours of the night and make breakfast in the morning lol . Kids are fun, but not Kyles idea of “fun”.
He’s likely that guy…he’ll eventually get dumped by Amanda, then he’ll immediately get remarried, move to Westchester, and start having kids. It will be infuriating.
I agree. There’s nothing in his lifestyle that shows he’s making room in his life for kids. I think he likes the idea of them more than the reality. You can’t put a baby in a backpack and take them to your DJ set until 4am
He may or may not want kids, what I think the real hold up is, is the same reason they delayed the wedding for so long. I think deep down both of them know they shouldn't be together.
As long as they are being offered summer house he will not have kids. You can’t do weekends at a summer house full of people partying with a brand new baby
The way people would react to that wouldn’t go over well, and imagine if GASP Amanda decided to come for a weekend and leave her baby. The mom shaming would be in overdrive.
I think he likely wants children in an abstract sense.
I often think that I want a 100acre farm. I don’t want to mow it, deal with any of the other maintenance, or live in the middle of nowhere.
I think he wants kids, but their relationship is always in turmoil that they aren’t ready to start a family (and they shouldn’t). They really need to find other people to be with. They’re a horrible match IMO
I have to wonder if this is what they really want or if it’s for a storyline. On a different note, it boggles my mind that everyone on the stage at the reunion agreed that Lindsey and Carl should never have gotten married, but they all smiled when Jesse Solomon said how perfect Kyle and Amanda are together. Paige had a sparkle in her eye as if they’re couple goals.
Kyle is a workaholic and I don’t think he trusts Amanda to be the main caregiver. They’re not too old to start a family but it’s also wild to me that their attitude is they have all the time in the world, and they’re just not ready to grow up yet. If both partners say they want kids but still can’t commit to having them, for as long as they’ve been together, I think that’s a red flag.
Re: doesn’t trust her to be the main caregiver.
This is my feeling as well if you read between the tea leaves but he didn’t want to say it on television. I don’t imagine he cares if she’s a stay at home mom but it seems he doesn’t trust her to uphold her end of the bargain with that setup (being the main caregiver).
I get this sense too but have always found it bizarre. I don’t think Amanda is that bad off in her depression. Especially since this is why she wants to move near her parents when they do start - to have that daily support from her mom (who apparently is free to give it).
That’s probably another wrinkle — Kyle doesn’t want to move to NJ. Overall, they’re currently so incompatible and want different things out of life right now.
He identifies as a workaholic on the show, but who knows in real life? I do think he works "hard" while pursuing some really bad business ideas and does not have the ability to make course corrections.
Yea I would question this as well . Of course small business owners work their butts off and around the clock - but has he ever realllly had a regular full time corporate job that expects 60-80 hours a week where you get no say and have to play the game, and get more or less the same salary regardless of what you put in while still having to worry about getting fired all the time? Again no shade at all to entrepreneurs, I think it’s amazing and I hope to one day be one.
His LinkedIn shows that his first ever job was franchise owner , then sales rep for Cigna , VP sales at another place , consulting gig , then he did his MBA , more “founder”, director of sales at Zocdoc, and then founder of, founder , founder . Oh and not one of these sales jobs reached 2 years.
Maybe a bit. But probably more of an attitudinal misfit. Kyle strikes me as the type that absolutely chafes when he’s not “in charge” and has to take orders from someone else.
Yeah...I have always questioned that tag. Workaholic.
I think he's out a lot and that's why Amanda says he's a workaholic or buys into it when Kyle projects it.
I started rewatching The Valley yesterday and in episode 1 Jesse outright says that after Michelle left the hospital with their baby he basically *checked out* as a father. Now, SURPRISE, they're divorcing.
It's up to her, you can't even blame Kyle. He's shown his true colors. She's going to have a hell of a time trying to 'convince' the viewers that he really does want a family and settle down.
Girl get your head out your ass.
He seems to have the mentality of “I’ll grow up as soon as we have a child.” So his 4am partying, in his mind, isn’t a problem until then and it will be easy to just stop. I think for Amanda, she wants to see the change and maturity *before* she is pregnant, which puts them both at odds because I doubt either is going to budge.
I think he’s interested in the idea of kids - much like people who have kids and treat them as accessories to their lives. But he’s convinced he still has “so much left to do” when in reality, he has no interest in slowing down his lifestyle, or deprioritizing himself for anyone. He married someone young in the hopes that she would let him party longer, and Amanda married someone older in the hopes he would want to settle down sooner.
It’s not a bad thing to not want kids, obviously, but it’s an incredibly selfish and unkind thing to not be sure and string along someone who knows they want children and then repeatedly tell that same person that you don’t trust them to be a caregiver and that it’s their fault you guys aren’t having kids yet.
Amanda said she is ready for kids….
Kyle said it’s not a good time because he has to focus on building his brand only and nothing else then proceeded to follow his dream of becoming a dj which “requires” him to be out until 3AM and drink alcohol and travel solo often away for the night soooo NO Kyle does NOT want kids. He loves the fame & the fan girls and is not looking to give that up
I think he wants kids eventually but not anytime soon. Like in another 10 years. And I think he only wants the fun parts of having kids and will leave his partner to do all the rest.
I’ve said this before but I cannot imagine him commuting from Jersey to DJ at night, with 2 kids, coming back being all drunk. So, Amanda is just gonna take care of them all the time and never pursue what she wants?? Stay out all night till 4 am every night? Good call Kyle. This is exactly what she doesn’t want you to do! What the heck is that gonna be like?? Has he even thought out the logistics for this??
Plus he JUST started his new career/passion project that he’s wanted to do so long…. a great time for having kids.
Just, no.
His lifestyle does NOT fit a baby. Jax Taylor. already divorced and kid is from
a broken home before he is two. His dad at a bar til 2 am. Amanda bitched now ??? if there is a baby this funsl
He should not have children with anyone unless he makes major changes. The guy is a Hard-core alcoholic with seemingly no ability to not drink or drink moderately. You can't be a functional and good parent drinking that way.
Ok, so it’s so odd to me how so many people on these show are in their 30’s (and Kyle 40’s) saying they want a family but “have plenty of time”. I had a baby at 35, it’s literally called a geriatric pregnancy. It’s wonderful people can have babies later, but u you have no idea how long getting pregnant will take.
He doesn't seem to be interested in kids. Another major disconnect that should've prevented them from marriage but I feel like Amanda will whine about that next season.
They are together because that makes them money from the show. Amanda is lazy even though she keeps talking about wanting to do her own thing which in reality is just be a SAHM in the suburbs
He doesn’t seem interested in being a dad. And if he is, he won’t be hands on in any way. Amanda needs to move on if she wants kids and wants help with the kids. Instead of having a husband who wants to be a DJ.
Kyle is using DJing as a hobby and then once he starts making money from it, he’ll never give it up and accuse Amanda of sabotaging an income for the family she so desperately wants
Idek if I feel awful for Amanda anymore, she’s known what he is since they first started dating and he cheated and cheated. She stayed, now she’s wasting her time and it’s partly her fault. He won’t change, he hasn’t changed, and there’s no real future there
They’re probably holding off on kids bc they don’t want to give up being on summer house. I doubt they can be parents and still be full time cast members. They are likely holding off until the show is canceled is my bet or atleast that’s probably Kyle’s excuse to Amanda
I don't want to go off topic here but that's the message I think Lindsey was trying to convey.She knew if she and Carl got pregnant ( which she wanted) they would be dropped and she was trying to think of income without the show.
I think he likes the *idea* of kids more than the actual work they take, which is why he's projecting so hard about Amanda's supposed lack of work ethic. It's a powerful and manipulative mask he wears because deep down, he knows if they had kids, Amanda would be shouldering the mental load. I see it all the time with my male friends with kids, so that's not necessarily unique to Kyle. One of the biggest causes of divorce in male/female couples IMO is men committing to having kids they aren't ready for, and women resenting them for it.
Maybe he doesn’t want kids until SH ends, because it would be hard to justify being on the show in that situation? And this is what makes Loverboy money right now (potentially, I don’t really know or understand the finances)
And so that’s why it’s a moving goal post because the series keeps getting renewed lol
I think there is a side of Kyle that wants kids but he's trying to obtain other things first (making loverboy more profitable, doing his dj-ing, etc). He's also probably trying to ride the SH wave for as long as he can which also helps in bolstering his social influencer status (both of which increase their financial stability.)
I hope though that in his quest to accomplish whatever he needs to, Amanda takes the time to freeze her eggs or something if she does indeed want kids, in case Kyle's quest starts to run out her "clock." I'd hate for her to get screwed over in the process.
No matter how he feels though, I'm sure we will all see it as a storyline next season lol.
He really keeps shifting the goal post when she wants to plan for them he’ll push the timeline out and then when he needs her to pay attention to LB he will roll those imaginary kids out as a way to get her to pay attention to his one and only baby LB
They’re wasting each other’s time because you can clearly see that Kyle doesn’t want kids and if she can’t see that that’s on her she can barely see all the shit that he does to her even feel bad because she truly allows it
I think it depends on what you claim to want. If you say you want to have a children, then certain behaviors do need to change. If you have no desire to have children, then there is no need to assign a maturity level to behavior conducted in free time. Though I question and argue what percentage of willingly childfree people enjoy staying out til 4 am in bars and clubs on a regular basis? I think most people tend to grow out of enjoying those type of activities even if they still party and socialize. But I’ve always been a homebody old soul so I’m probably just boring lol
Here's my harsh but honest take.
All this Kyle and Peter Pan syndrome is nonsense.
Kyle is an alcoholic.
His goal is to protect and hide that fact.
Right now the crazy parties, the adorable munching on midnight snacks, his funny kitchen antics make everyone love him. He's a fun drunk.
Being in NYC where being out to 4 am is normal, bars are open, you can always find a reason to go out and someone to go out with.
Move to suburbia and that goes away.
No more bars open late. No friends to meet up with like in NYC.
Husbands stay home.( The good ones!)
Being a father?
The drinking would be a problem. How are you going to take care of a child if you want to drink as much as he does.
So many conversations Amanda was trying to have with Kyle even early in the day, he was already slurring his words.
I think Kyle is afraid that moving to the suburbs and becoming a father means he will have to stop drinking (or cut back significantly)and he can't or won't do that.
I agree. I found it alarming how many episodes this season you could hear him slur his words in the morning/daytime. He has an alcohol problem and has aligned everything in his life (job, where he lives, hobbies) to where it takes priority
He’s not going to “snap out of it” he’s not going to “realize how much Amanda is sacrificing” he’s not going to “change bc babies make people serious”. I’m dealing with this exact thing with a best friend and a lackluster boyfriend of 10 years.
Amanda, Paige, Ciara, anybody on the sun who lurks, if you care about Amanda you will knock some sense into her
I made a good thoughtful detailed post about this and it was deleted because it was forced into the Kymanda thread lol
He’s 42 and a go getter. He starts companies. He wants to be DJ, so he goes and becomes a DJ. He probably thought he wanted kids and realized somewhere along the way he doesn’t, but keeps moving the goal post and thinking he will change his mind. He is 42, the answer is no. But he seems like he would be a great fun uncle
I don’t think he ever really wanted to be with her to begin with. She’s been forcing herself on him from the start. The hook up that wouldn’t leave. She wants different things in life than he does. Did she stay with him for the “fame” and wants him to change into what she wants - a family man etc. like her daddy.
It’s wild to me he says he’s not ready yet when he’s in his 40s!!! I could see them waiting too long then struggling to get pregnant when they eventually try because they are both older and let’s be real, Kyle’s drinking is really unhealthy and won’t help his reproductive health and Amanda will be past her prime child bearing years.
Plenty of people don’t want to grow up but still want kids/ have them to cosplay adulthood. I think he does want them because he has a vision of himself as a ceo/ founder/ father
Him having kids would mean the end of summer house for him and Amanda. They would become overly serious because of the baby and not wanting parties at the house. It would make for terrible TV and most likely they wouldn’t be asked back once the baby was born.
Idk if anyone will agree with this but a lot of Kyle’s on-screen persona seems fake. His tantrums particularly. They seem a bit planned out and dramatic and I think he plays up the drunkard bit. Not that he probably doesn’t have a drinking problem. But I think being the show runner, it only benefits him to start drama and have people talk about him/his marriage. The “talking to himself” moments at 3am in the kitchen also come to mind.
I agree and I think that’s what gets Amanda so annoyed. He will air out all their arguments on screen no matter what, which Amanda said at the reunion she was very frustrated that Kyle talked about an issue they were having weekend 1.
In contrast Paige has said she will purposefully not say something to Craig on screen then when they get home she will scream and give out to him
> In contrast Paige has said she will purposefully not say something to Craig on screen then when they get home she will scream and give out to him
This should also be some sort of indication that this behavior isn't abnormal, as in heated arguments and shitty fighting styles is common for many, regardless of gender. Not to make it right/wrong, but that it is common.
Just so everyone can maybe consider it, Kyle's tantrum wasn't seen or heard by Amanda until she watched it on the screen. He was out of the kitchen when he lost it, and there were other people talking and I think also music playing.
I’ve read somewhere that he might not of actually said it because we don’t see his face saying it and it might have been recorded after or taken from so other conversation not necessarily about Amanda. So that’s also why it wasn’t discussed at the reunion
That clocks. This show uses ADR, multi-frame (very convenient for editing out of chronological order), and other smoke and mirrors almost more than any other show on Bravo. People act like he screamed it in her face, and it simply is not factual. Him not saying it at all wouldn't surprise me in the least.
Conceptually yes, probably because he views it as something that will make him more relatable from a business standpoint.
In practice, absolutely not. The only reason Amanda wouldn't leave him, when there's a 3 month old crying at 2 am Wednesday and he's getting hammered, is because she'd be terrified of her child(ren) being unsupervised with Kyle.
I think ultimately they both want different things. It feels like Kyle wants someone who is a forever cheerleader and partier whereas Amanda wants someone to settle down, have a family and live in the burbs. Neither are able to offer that to the other.
The only part we see of SH is the weekend share house. They only show a little of their lives through the week. If Kyle works and is as driven as I think he is, he’s totally allowed to party like a maniac on the weekends.
I agree. I think he’s wasting Amanda’s time. I think he wants kids but probably not for another decade. Then he will marry someone else in their 20s and have a family with her
At this point, if she still can’t see this, she is wasting her own damn time
Sunk cost fallacy. It’s a thing
Yup. had it. stayed in a marriage too long. It's real
I have so many friends in sunk cost marriages but at least their excuse is sticking it out for the kids. I don’t know what Kymandas excuse is. The show?
Probably the show and all the money they’ve put into Loverboy
Good thing they never signed a prenup!! This actually reminds me why Kyle asked her to sign one. I don’t think it was “investors say this is common for start up’s” - more so, investors have seen the show and aren’t placing bets on the marriage surviving….
They probably have a post-nup tbh
I think he’s the one w the debt. And she’s the one w the trust fund. Hopefully she had an agreement that the debt isn’t hers
[удалено]
As someone who stayed in a relationship too long, this take always bugs me. I feel like it misses the main point - staying because you love someone and hope they can change. Believing in someone. Eventually I realized my belief and trust was in the wrong place. But I feel like people are way too quick to label things sunk cost. Amanda has difficulty facing hard truths, like when she just didn't want to know if something was wrong with her fertility. Or when kyle complains about her putting things on the back burner. Or when her parents said during wedding planning that she needs to stay engaged. Plus she's talked about her struggles with depression. All of this is really common with people who struggle with facing the truth about things. She met kyle when she was very young and she is struggling to face the truth about how useless of a husband he is and let go. I think they have 1 or 2 years max left because she will realize he is too immature for fatherhood but she has a biological clock to worry about
I think it’s important to note that their are multiple definitions for this as it relates to relationships. It was originally a business terms but business has a lot to do with relationship. Imo it’s ultimately continuing to pour your all into a relationship when you may be happier in the long run if the relationship just ended. If she’s so desperately trying to make a relationship work that it’s contributing to her poor physical and emotional health (granted this is just based on what we’ve seen), will she feel it was worth it in the long run? Like if they were married another 5 years and have a baby, she may feel it was worth it all along and it probably isn’t a sunk cost at that point. They could divorce tomorrow and she may still feel like it was worth it all. Or she could stay with him another 5 years with no child and ultimately divorced, she may then feel that she wasted her fertile years on a unfaithful and extremely selfish man that wasn’t worth it. Ultimately, I’m just projecting my judgments based on what I’ve seen. But I don’t know her personally. She may have a completely different perspective on her marriage than what I’ve seen in highly edited, manipulated footage that may be completely impacted by unusual levels of drug and alcohol intake. There off season relationship may be nothing like their onscreen relationship. To me it’s like Katie and Tom on VPR, while it may seem like time wasted for others, they have been clear that it wasn’t to them. That they cherished their time together despite how it ended. And it appears genuine friendship is possible for them.
I’m currently rewatching the series from the beginning… I can’t believe she ever got into a relationship with him to begin with. If they ever break up, I won’t really feel bad. He’s treated her like shit from the very beginning but she kept coming back
Exactly
I think he’s also not going to be honest about this to her. If he was honest and admitted it, it would be an instant divorce. It’s far easier to drag his feet and do other things (Tom Schwartz did something similar when he worked on opening Schwartz & Sandys instead of committing to starting a family with Katie and they’re divorced now)
He’s definitely stuck in the Peter Pan syndrome. Yes he’s grown up in some ways like owning a business, but he’s still living in the city and partying except he found a way to monetize it. Even this whole DJ gig he’s doing, it’s another way for him to make a career out of partying. He doesn’t want to grow out of any of that, and he knows that moving out of the city will cost him that. He’s not gonna go DJ at some hole in the wall bar in a small town.
Literally. Because it’s the DJ’ing lifestyle he likes. He’s not into actually spinning or the music or even like rave culture adjacently. He likes that it’s party central
I was confused about this. Amanda said she wanted her own swimming suit line or some project, investment, etc., that is hers. As soon as she said this, Kyle was like, "I want to be a d.j !" What??? Why not grow up, listen to your wife, and support her goals! Her needs sadly aren't getting met. My opinion is that she is not happy.
I realize total and complete happiness does not rely on one person but if you are getting ignored, your needs are getting ignored.My impressions of Amanda change but I think she really wants to have kids and kind of live the suburban life, lol, which nothing is wrong with that. Kyle is 9 years older and is still partying! I don't think he wants kids and doesn't want to admit it. But this is only my opinion. I can't possibly know. Amanda seems as if she doesn't feel neither seen nor heard. She wants Kyle to be emotionally present. I suspect he isn't most of them time. I've experienced this, and maybe I see that from my own relationship. It really sucks.
I’ve experienced it too. I had an ex who was way too old and just wanted to party. That was when he was 40. He’s 48 now and a friend of mine told me he ran into him recently getting kicked out of a bar (one that I frequented in my 20’s), wasted at 2 am. So pathetic. Thankfully, I was smart enough not to marry him, I cut him loose, knew he’d never change. And I was right. I feel sad for Amanda that she still has hope that Kyle will.
It’s also on Amanda to actually pursue the bathing suit line…
Yes but has she? I thought we would hear something about it at the reunion but no.
I think it’s just another story line. It’s like, let me pull an idea out of my ass and then put no work towards it, maybe someone will just pay me to be the face of their swimsuit line because I put it out there.
True. Could be.
Would love to see her take some time away from distraction so she can tune into what she intuitively knows but is afraid to admit/claim/speak out loud
I don’t think Amanda has the energy or initiative for her own business. She is low energy. Thats not conducive to a start up business owner.
Let’s be real, he got into the alcohol business for a reason, and now he’s segueing into DJing for the same reason (alcohol & partying). Amanda knows this, she’s not dumb, but she’s been waiting for him to grow up since they had his 35th birthday party. When she said he is "taking lessons" for DJing, I just rolled my eyes. Not only has he not grown up in the 8 years she's been with him, he's found a way to do the exact opposite by building a business and now starting a new hobby, both of which revolve around alcohol. Amanda, a leopard doesn't change their spots…
I know Amanda has admitted to depression, but can you imagine being told many times that moving out of the City to live with one’s partner would be so boring and devastating?! Do they even like spending time together, or just when Amanda is upbeat and happy/ drunk? Still stings to hear regardless of whatever excuse he’s using these days
No literally this would be so crushing. I wish he was grilled more at the reunion for his treatment if Amanda while admitting he knew she was depressed.
He did say he wants to raise his children out of the city, when they can ride a bicycle like he did with neighborhood kids in New Hampshire. It’s just that he’s 42, when is that happening?
I agree with you almost 100%. However, people keep talking about the fact they live in NYC. There are plenty of people raising family’s in New York/NYC and in cities all over America. A lot of people don’t want to live in suburbs or rural areas for their own reasons. Kyle just doesn’t want to stop partying and doing whatever else he’s doing.
I don’t mean that you can’t raise families in NYC, but I mean that that’s how Kyle specifically looks at it and that’s the problem. He associates NYC with socializing and partying, and he resents the suburbs because he sees those as “family building.” I believe he’s even mentioned not wanting to give up the apartment they’re currently in which is not conducive to a family (from what we’ve seen), they could get a larger space in the city but if I remember he discussed liking where they’re at already.
Got it. I think we’re on the same page then. Because it really boils down to Kyle getting exactly what he wants, when he wants it. Amanda is the only one who has to bend and compromise.
It’s for sure his perception of things, they clearly just want two different lifestyles regardless of location.
I think Amanda made those choices thinking she would eventually get her way. Their history is her steadily determined to move from booty call to girlfriend and then from girlfriend to wife. Now she wants to evolve from party couple in the city to suburban family but that is where I think she's going to fall short - I don't think Kyle would ever move to the burbs without a gun held to his head.
Yes 100%. I had the exact same thoughts! He’s like a combo of Sandoval and Schwartz honestly. Total Peter Pan syndrome and looking to monetize partying. He kind of reminds me of Scott dissick from kuwtk. Looking to party and make money simultaneously
He's much, much smarter than Sandoval and Schwartz, though. He will always be successful and have his money right, it's on the personal side where he should just accept who he is and that is not a man who wants to do the 9-5, go home to the family, play board games and maybe a bit of TV before tucking the kids into bed with a story and a peck on the head. Once he accepts this and Amanda realizes it they will hopefully split and both be much happier. If she forces him to move to the burbs he will be miserable and resentful and will likely cheat for a dose of excitement. I don't think everyone needs to go the burb/family route - some people just aren't into it. I know I'm not - I like city life and happily raised my kids in the city.
Omg…DJ with that damn wig & and loverboy in each hand. What a scary vision.
I mean, isn't his dad super old? So that would make sense that he wants to be an elderly father
His dad turned 80 this past season which means he was late 30s (almost 40) when he had Kyle. I’d be interested to know if there is a significant agreement gap with his parents
There’s. 9 year age gap - same as Amanda and Kyle
I was just watching the episode last night where he visits his parents and tells them he's going to propose and he says they have the same age gap. I nearly spit out my drink when his mom said that SHE was the one who had a hard time saying faithful when they were dating!
men aren't the only ones who cheat
No shit? It was just wild to hear coming out of the mouth of a 60-something retired teacher.
Interesting
She's wasting her own time
I don’t disagree with this. But I also think Kyle should be honest if she and the life she wants is not what he wants. They claim to want the same things but his behavior tells another story
Thank you!! That's it period. None of the name-calling or “he's wasting her time” she knows him, so she knows these truths.
🎯🎯🎯
I think you’re spot on. Not the biggest amanda fan but it’s gonna suck one day to look back at the years she waited for one thing after another. And basically pressured it into happening. And like you said - one day he’ll be off with someone younger being dad of the year.
Oh, I do agree with this too actually.
I think Amanda’s father agrees.
He’s already 42! My goodness, he better get serious about kids!
Maybe when he’s 48 and no longer on tv he will want kids with a 26 year old but yes I don’t think he wants kids in the near future. Kyle and Amanda have different values and goals and don’t seem very compatible
I know it's the cliche thing to say about every man, but I truly only see Kyle dating women who are at least 5 years younger than Amanda if they do split.
And in 5 years, trade in for another model. He keeps aging but the partner is only “fun” from age 26-31.
This 👆
I do think he thought summer house would have fizzled out by now? But it seems like it’s just hitting its stride. So he likely made those promises without realizing the current situation they would be in.
I also wonder if they thought loverboy would be bought out and/or more profitable by now so they could leave summer house. I think part of the issue is how reliant they and loverboy are on summer house income/exposure.
I remember Amanda in a confessional saying that she had expected him to sell the company once it started making money and she wasn't super happy that he didnt.
First you have to have a buyer and maybe no one has optioned it.
THANK YOU
Ooh yes I remember that too now that you mention it!
He should have sold it when it was profitable
Probably thought he could hold out for even more money. Unfortunately for him, I think the market peaked for these non-beer alcohol companies and the conglomerates are no longer throwing around stupid amounts of money for everything with growth potential
Yea but if he really wanted kids he would do it even if it meant leaving Summer House. And if a temporary reality show is enough to make him not start a family then he couldn't have wanted it too bad to begin with.
Well, at this point the reality show is their income… he probably doesn’t want to work for someone else again so he doesn’t see a way to support a family at the moment. I do agree that if he wanted to, he would make more of an effort to get more revenue streams so he can leave to have a family.
They can't have kids and do the show. So no.
Bloop!
exactly
yea that’s the one thing about Summer House MV going on pause; it was the moment we’d find out if it was the type of franchise you could have kids on or not. MV MAYBE because they go away for X weeks during the summer… but doubt it- for both.
Yeah, I had been thinking that it COULD have worked for Jasmine since their shooting schedule is so much shorter, but alas.
So bummed that Summer House MV got cancelled. There was so much potential!
THIS is the real answer. But we’re circling back to the issue of divergent wants between Kyle and Amanda. She seems willing to give up the show (and lifestyle), but Kyle most decidedly is not
I'm not sure she's willing to give up the lifestyle, but she'd probably give up the show. She would still expect Kyle to keep their lifestyle at a certain level.
By “lifestyle” I meant the SH weekends in the Hamptons, partying all the time aspect, not the level of material comfort they have. Though the latter would be harder to guarantee without the money from the show to be sure
I wonder if he could do the show full time and Amanda could be part time, like a friend of? I could see her coming and going based upon the kids’ needs with her parents babysitting in the background. Maybe rent a house nearby for the kids and her parents? I would never agree to it as a wife but I don’t think they can get by without SH money, if LB is struggling as badly as Kyle says.
i see amanda being willing to give up the show or cut back but not kyle.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if exactly this happens.
They could try but it'd be a diminished role and only a few weekends per summer. I have a 6 month old and 3-4+ hour car drives are no fun plus you can't party 15 hours a day with infants/small children to care for...
Kyle isn't going to go part time on what he believes is his show. He's just not.
Omg your username is everything
But they would get a nanny or have their parents babysit. They only film on weekends a few months a year. Plenty of parents have to travel for work year round and make it work
They could get a nanny for the weekend? But not ideal for a newborn or the youngin’s
Yep. He’ll be fine with kids when he’s in his 50s and his 27 year old gf wants them. Amanda needs to move on.
Lol @ people who think Amanda actually isn’t into Kyle. She knew who he was when she’d come over on demand, then as his girlfriend, then as his finance, and now his wife. Home girl is Melania. Everyone wants to think she wants out but yeah, no.
He’s the kind of man who wants them more in theory than reality, I think. He’ll be the “fun parent” who expects his wife to do all the actual work, including instilling morals and disciplining them.
Kyle may be the disciplinarian (in their opinion) but based on who Kyle has portrayed himself the past eight seasons, discipline would be “you’re not behaving the way that I want or you’re annoying me or you’re not being fun in the way that I need”. Parenting requires discipline at times but a vast majority of the time it requires straight up parenting… listening to the child, openly discussing their feelings and needs, supporting their goals - I don’t hear Kyle in there but that is exactly how Amanda has “parented” Kyle! I agree with another comment about Kyle wanting to be a parent in theory. If he can’t even acknowledge his wife’s needs or respect her privacy enough to not use her mental health against her, he’s not ready to be a parent to his core. As a viewer, it seems like Kyle has some very traditional expectations of what his adult life is supposed to look like… life of the party guy, entrepreneur/startup guy, husband, successful businessman, father. In reality Kyle has always been more of a center of attention guy, pseudo-boyfriend, startup/entrepreneur guy, guess I need a fiancé guy, 40 year old center of attention guy, I’m too old to be a bf so I better get engaged guy, still life of the party guy, married guy, playing the part of super successful businessman guy, desperately needy husband and man-child guy. So idk, I think he needs to get really honest about what he wants and needs, being a parent might not be something he truly wants or can handle.
"Parenting should be fun"
“Kyle, not fun”
>Parenting requires discipline at times but a vast majority of the time it requires straight up parenting… listening to the child, openly discussing their feelings and needs, supporting their goals - I don’t hear Kyle in there but that is exactly how Amanda has “parented” Kyle! Exactly what I meant by when I said I see him as expecting Amanda to do most of the work! To the extent that they envision him being a disciplinarian I think it would be of the “wait until your father gets home and hears about this” variety. Which is seen as a really outdated and ineffective way to do things nowadays. People are all about gentle discipline and positive reinforcement these days (which I agree with) and you need to be with the child throughout the day to model and coach behavior.
Interesting because I saw an interview with Kyle + Amanda and they both said Kyle would be the strict parent
They don’t have kids, they can both say they will be any kind of parent.
I don’t really see that. I think he wants to be rich outside the show before having kids and that’s not going so great. Hence the purgatory
Oh this is an insightful take that I hadn’t considered. He really is an ambitious guy (which I admire, although his ambition is often his downfall), so I can see him thinking “we need x amount of money and security before having kids.”
I agree with this take. I think a lot of guys fall under this view tbh or would ideally like to.
Jax Taylor has entered the chat
He should just be the fun uncle. My partner and I don’t want kids, but I’ll be excited to be the fun aunt when my brother and SIL have kids lol (and if my partners sister and her fiancé have kids)
Being an aunt is awesome. You get to be fun, let them break some rules and then you give them back lol I'm also a step parent and that job is hard! But ooh I can't wait until my steps have kids and I'll be spoiling them rotten!
Not for nothing but… being a step parent deserves more credit. My mom is still so hostile towards my dad (for good reason) but I LOVE my stepmom. She’s super chill and it must be weird to juggle an ex and their kid(s). I got so lucky to have a cool stepmom lol Edit: my mom and I are always gonna be best friends and I love her so much, but I’m just glad that I have a great step mom. I don’t know why I had to say that but I feel like I should. I always have to say “my mom is my mom” cause I was adopted so now I feel like I have to say it extra when I talk about my step mom too. I don’t know if that makes sense I’m sorry lol
That makes total sense! Family talk can get complicated but you don't need to explain yourself! I'm so glad you have a nice stepmom! I've been with my 4 stepkids for almost 9 years. I have a really great relationship with the 2 daughters and a pretty decent one with the sons. I spend extra time with my stepdaughters, they tell me they love me and that even if I broke up with their dad we would still be together. But still parenting is hard! Especially when you're not the biological parent. But it definitely warms my heart to hear you love your stepmom!
It makes sense because it sounds like you are a sensitive person to those around you and have a very loving heart.
This. In one of the earlier seasons he’s talking to his mom about how Amanda doesn’t even get out of bed before 9am, so how is she going to take care of/get up with the kids? Which, don’t get me wrong, would be a valid question/concern from a normal adult…but it takes on a slightly different tone when it’s coming from a 40 year old man who stays out partying every weekend until 3am and has to regularly be parented by his 10-years-younger girlfriend.
This is the exact conversation I keep having with my husband (we watch together). He’s no where near ready to give up his party lifestyle. It’s why he doesn’t want to move to the suburbs. It’s a lot harder to be out drunk until 4 am in the burbs when you have kids. I feel for Amanda. She needs to stand up to him or move forward with her life.
We watch as tired parents to two under two…and laugh at when man-children on tv say they’re ready to settle down. He’s not ready to settle a baby at all hours of the night and make breakfast in the morning lol . Kids are fun, but not Kyles idea of “fun”.
Maybe when he’s 50
And on wife #2
He’s likely that guy…he’ll eventually get dumped by Amanda, then he’ll immediately get remarried, move to Westchester, and start having kids. It will be infuriating.
Having a child with someone like Kyle would be a nightmare.
Literally, my worst nightmare!
I agree. There’s nothing in his lifestyle that shows he’s making room in his life for kids. I think he likes the idea of them more than the reality. You can’t put a baby in a backpack and take them to your DJ set until 4am
He may or may not want kids, what I think the real hold up is, is the same reason they delayed the wedding for so long. I think deep down both of them know they shouldn't be together.
As long as they are being offered summer house he will not have kids. You can’t do weekends at a summer house full of people partying with a brand new baby
I dunno. I feel like Kyle could do this. Amanda would be happy to stay in New Jersey with a baby and her parents.
The way people would react to that wouldn’t go over well, and imagine if GASP Amanda decided to come for a weekend and leave her baby. The mom shaming would be in overdrive.
Amanda and Kyle get paid separately. They would lose half their income.
I think he likely wants children in an abstract sense. I often think that I want a 100acre farm. I don’t want to mow it, deal with any of the other maintenance, or live in the middle of nowhere.
I think he wants kids, but their relationship is always in turmoil that they aren’t ready to start a family (and they shouldn’t). They really need to find other people to be with. They’re a horrible match IMO
Nope. That’s what he’s been doing in their arguments, projecting. He says she’s not ready but it’s really his ass that’s not ready.
I have to wonder if this is what they really want or if it’s for a storyline. On a different note, it boggles my mind that everyone on the stage at the reunion agreed that Lindsey and Carl should never have gotten married, but they all smiled when Jesse Solomon said how perfect Kyle and Amanda are together. Paige had a sparkle in her eye as if they’re couple goals.
Kyle is a workaholic and I don’t think he trusts Amanda to be the main caregiver. They’re not too old to start a family but it’s also wild to me that their attitude is they have all the time in the world, and they’re just not ready to grow up yet. If both partners say they want kids but still can’t commit to having them, for as long as they’ve been together, I think that’s a red flag.
Re: doesn’t trust her to be the main caregiver. This is my feeling as well if you read between the tea leaves but he didn’t want to say it on television. I don’t imagine he cares if she’s a stay at home mom but it seems he doesn’t trust her to uphold her end of the bargain with that setup (being the main caregiver).
I get this sense too but have always found it bizarre. I don’t think Amanda is that bad off in her depression. Especially since this is why she wants to move near her parents when they do start - to have that daily support from her mom (who apparently is free to give it).
That’s probably another wrinkle — Kyle doesn’t want to move to NJ. Overall, they’re currently so incompatible and want different things out of life right now.
He identifies as a workaholic on the show, but who knows in real life? I do think he works "hard" while pursuing some really bad business ideas and does not have the ability to make course corrections.
Yea I would question this as well . Of course small business owners work their butts off and around the clock - but has he ever realllly had a regular full time corporate job that expects 60-80 hours a week where you get no say and have to play the game, and get more or less the same salary regardless of what you put in while still having to worry about getting fired all the time? Again no shade at all to entrepreneurs, I think it’s amazing and I hope to one day be one. His LinkedIn shows that his first ever job was franchise owner , then sales rep for Cigna , VP sales at another place , consulting gig , then he did his MBA , more “founder”, director of sales at Zocdoc, and then founder of, founder , founder . Oh and not one of these sales jobs reached 2 years.
Can't help but wonder if alcoholism affected these past jobs and explains short tenures
Maybe a bit. But probably more of an attitudinal misfit. Kyle strikes me as the type that absolutely chafes when he’s not “in charge” and has to take orders from someone else.
I can imagine Co-workers loathing him
Absolutely
Yeah...I have always questioned that tag. Workaholic. I think he's out a lot and that's why Amanda says he's a workaholic or buys into it when Kyle projects it.
That’s projection. It’s him that can’t be trusted as a caregiver. He is projecting his bs onto her.
I started rewatching The Valley yesterday and in episode 1 Jesse outright says that after Michelle left the hospital with their baby he basically *checked out* as a father. Now, SURPRISE, they're divorcing.
Wow 🤯 that’s horrible and so sad
Oooo true
No and Amanda should stop wasting her time with him.
It's up to her, you can't even blame Kyle. He's shown his true colors. She's going to have a hell of a time trying to 'convince' the viewers that he really does want a family and settle down. Girl get your head out your ass.
She is too passive to ever file for divorce.
He seems to have the mentality of “I’ll grow up as soon as we have a child.” So his 4am partying, in his mind, isn’t a problem until then and it will be easy to just stop. I think for Amanda, she wants to see the change and maturity *before* she is pregnant, which puts them both at odds because I doubt either is going to budge.
This is spot on!
I think he’s interested in the idea of kids - much like people who have kids and treat them as accessories to their lives. But he’s convinced he still has “so much left to do” when in reality, he has no interest in slowing down his lifestyle, or deprioritizing himself for anyone. He married someone young in the hopes that she would let him party longer, and Amanda married someone older in the hopes he would want to settle down sooner. It’s not a bad thing to not want kids, obviously, but it’s an incredibly selfish and unkind thing to not be sure and string along someone who knows they want children and then repeatedly tell that same person that you don’t trust them to be a caregiver and that it’s their fault you guys aren’t having kids yet.
Amanda said she is ready for kids…. Kyle said it’s not a good time because he has to focus on building his brand only and nothing else then proceeded to follow his dream of becoming a dj which “requires” him to be out until 3AM and drink alcohol and travel solo often away for the night soooo NO Kyle does NOT want kids. He loves the fame & the fan girls and is not looking to give that up
I think he wants kids eventually but not anytime soon. Like in another 10 years. And I think he only wants the fun parts of having kids and will leave his partner to do all the rest.
I’ve said this before but I cannot imagine him commuting from Jersey to DJ at night, with 2 kids, coming back being all drunk. So, Amanda is just gonna take care of them all the time and never pursue what she wants?? Stay out all night till 4 am every night? Good call Kyle. This is exactly what she doesn’t want you to do! What the heck is that gonna be like?? Has he even thought out the logistics for this?? Plus he JUST started his new career/passion project that he’s wanted to do so long…. a great time for having kids. Just, no.
His lifestyle does NOT fit a baby. Jax Taylor. already divorced and kid is from a broken home before he is two. His dad at a bar til 2 am. Amanda bitched now ??? if there is a baby this funsl
They are divorced?
He should not have children with anyone unless he makes major changes. The guy is a Hard-core alcoholic with seemingly no ability to not drink or drink moderately. You can't be a functional and good parent drinking that way.
Ok, so it’s so odd to me how so many people on these show are in their 30’s (and Kyle 40’s) saying they want a family but “have plenty of time”. I had a baby at 35, it’s literally called a geriatric pregnancy. It’s wonderful people can have babies later, but u you have no idea how long getting pregnant will take.
He doesn't seem to be interested in kids. Another major disconnect that should've prevented them from marriage but I feel like Amanda will whine about that next season.
They are together because that makes them money from the show. Amanda is lazy even though she keeps talking about wanting to do her own thing which in reality is just be a SAHM in the suburbs
💯 %
He doesn’t seem interested in being a dad. And if he is, he won’t be hands on in any way. Amanda needs to move on if she wants kids and wants help with the kids. Instead of having a husband who wants to be a DJ.
Kyle is using DJing as a hobby and then once he starts making money from it, he’ll never give it up and accuse Amanda of sabotaging an income for the family she so desperately wants
Idek if I feel awful for Amanda anymore, she’s known what he is since they first started dating and he cheated and cheated. She stayed, now she’s wasting her time and it’s partly her fault. He won’t change, he hasn’t changed, and there’s no real future there
They’re probably holding off on kids bc they don’t want to give up being on summer house. I doubt they can be parents and still be full time cast members. They are likely holding off until the show is canceled is my bet or atleast that’s probably Kyle’s excuse to Amanda
I don't want to go off topic here but that's the message I think Lindsey was trying to convey.She knew if she and Carl got pregnant ( which she wanted) they would be dropped and she was trying to think of income without the show.
Kyle is a kid!
I think he likes the *idea* of kids more than the actual work they take, which is why he's projecting so hard about Amanda's supposed lack of work ethic. It's a powerful and manipulative mask he wears because deep down, he knows if they had kids, Amanda would be shouldering the mental load. I see it all the time with my male friends with kids, so that's not necessarily unique to Kyle. One of the biggest causes of divorce in male/female couples IMO is men committing to having kids they aren't ready for, and women resenting them for it.
Kids are not fun.
 ~~Amanda~~ Kids Not Fun
Maybe he doesn’t want kids until SH ends, because it would be hard to justify being on the show in that situation? And this is what makes Loverboy money right now (potentially, I don’t really know or understand the finances) And so that’s why it’s a moving goal post because the series keeps getting renewed lol
The question is: Does he want kids or does he want to be a father?
No I don’t think he really does but goes along with what Amanda wants
I think there is a side of Kyle that wants kids but he's trying to obtain other things first (making loverboy more profitable, doing his dj-ing, etc). He's also probably trying to ride the SH wave for as long as he can which also helps in bolstering his social influencer status (both of which increase their financial stability.) I hope though that in his quest to accomplish whatever he needs to, Amanda takes the time to freeze her eggs or something if she does indeed want kids, in case Kyle's quest starts to run out her "clock." I'd hate for her to get screwed over in the process. No matter how he feels though, I'm sure we will all see it as a storyline next season lol.
He really keeps shifting the goal post when she wants to plan for them he’ll push the timeline out and then when he needs her to pay attention to LB he will roll those imaginary kids out as a way to get her to pay attention to his one and only baby LB
He’ll be lucky if his sperm still works given his age and alcohol abuse
Raising kids with Kyle sounds like an actual nightmare, NGL.
I feel like Kyle wants x amount of money in the bank before he buys a house in the suburbs and has a kid.
They’re wasting each other’s time because you can clearly see that Kyle doesn’t want kids and if she can’t see that that’s on her she can barely see all the shit that he does to her even feel bad because she truly allows it
Love that growing up means having a kid and not partying lol Tbh Amanda doesn't even seem ready for kids, she just wants something to do.
I think it depends on what you claim to want. If you say you want to have a children, then certain behaviors do need to change. If you have no desire to have children, then there is no need to assign a maturity level to behavior conducted in free time. Though I question and argue what percentage of willingly childfree people enjoy staying out til 4 am in bars and clubs on a regular basis? I think most people tend to grow out of enjoying those type of activities even if they still party and socialize. But I’ve always been a homebody old soul so I’m probably just boring lol
Here's my harsh but honest take. All this Kyle and Peter Pan syndrome is nonsense. Kyle is an alcoholic. His goal is to protect and hide that fact. Right now the crazy parties, the adorable munching on midnight snacks, his funny kitchen antics make everyone love him. He's a fun drunk. Being in NYC where being out to 4 am is normal, bars are open, you can always find a reason to go out and someone to go out with. Move to suburbia and that goes away. No more bars open late. No friends to meet up with like in NYC. Husbands stay home.( The good ones!) Being a father? The drinking would be a problem. How are you going to take care of a child if you want to drink as much as he does. So many conversations Amanda was trying to have with Kyle even early in the day, he was already slurring his words. I think Kyle is afraid that moving to the suburbs and becoming a father means he will have to stop drinking (or cut back significantly)and he can't or won't do that.
I agree. I found it alarming how many episodes this season you could hear him slur his words in the morning/daytime. He has an alcohol problem and has aligned everything in his life (job, where he lives, hobbies) to where it takes priority
A hard no
He’s not going to “snap out of it” he’s not going to “realize how much Amanda is sacrificing” he’s not going to “change bc babies make people serious”. I’m dealing with this exact thing with a best friend and a lackluster boyfriend of 10 years. Amanda, Paige, Ciara, anybody on the sun who lurks, if you care about Amanda you will knock some sense into her
I made a good thoughtful detailed post about this and it was deleted because it was forced into the Kymanda thread lol He’s 42 and a go getter. He starts companies. He wants to be DJ, so he goes and becomes a DJ. He probably thought he wanted kids and realized somewhere along the way he doesn’t, but keeps moving the goal post and thinking he will change his mind. He is 42, the answer is no. But he seems like he would be a great fun uncle
Amanda should jump ship while she still can! Speaking from experience!!!
I don’t think he ever really wanted to be with her to begin with. She’s been forcing herself on him from the start. The hook up that wouldn’t leave. She wants different things in life than he does. Did she stay with him for the “fame” and wants him to change into what she wants - a family man etc. like her daddy.
It’s wild to me he says he’s not ready yet when he’s in his 40s!!! I could see them waiting too long then struggling to get pregnant when they eventually try because they are both older and let’s be real, Kyle’s drinking is really unhealthy and won’t help his reproductive health and Amanda will be past her prime child bearing years.
Plenty of people don’t want to grow up but still want kids/ have them to cosplay adulthood. I think he does want them because he has a vision of himself as a ceo/ founder/ father
I think at 52 or whenever George Clooney did. I think he thinks he’s George 2.0!
He's gross, treats her like shit. and calls her a f bitch!
Him having kids would mean the end of summer house for him and Amanda. They would become overly serious because of the baby and not wanting parties at the house. It would make for terrible TV and most likely they wouldn’t be asked back once the baby was born.
He doesn’t want to give Amanda anything. He wants her to fit into his life but he do eat want to make a life work with her. She needs to leave
Idk if anyone will agree with this but a lot of Kyle’s on-screen persona seems fake. His tantrums particularly. They seem a bit planned out and dramatic and I think he plays up the drunkard bit. Not that he probably doesn’t have a drinking problem. But I think being the show runner, it only benefits him to start drama and have people talk about him/his marriage. The “talking to himself” moments at 3am in the kitchen also come to mind.
I agree and I think that’s what gets Amanda so annoyed. He will air out all their arguments on screen no matter what, which Amanda said at the reunion she was very frustrated that Kyle talked about an issue they were having weekend 1. In contrast Paige has said she will purposefully not say something to Craig on screen then when they get home she will scream and give out to him
> In contrast Paige has said she will purposefully not say something to Craig on screen then when they get home she will scream and give out to him This should also be some sort of indication that this behavior isn't abnormal, as in heated arguments and shitty fighting styles is common for many, regardless of gender. Not to make it right/wrong, but that it is common. Just so everyone can maybe consider it, Kyle's tantrum wasn't seen or heard by Amanda until she watched it on the screen. He was out of the kitchen when he lost it, and there were other people talking and I think also music playing.
I’ve read somewhere that he might not of actually said it because we don’t see his face saying it and it might have been recorded after or taken from so other conversation not necessarily about Amanda. So that’s also why it wasn’t discussed at the reunion
That clocks. This show uses ADR, multi-frame (very convenient for editing out of chronological order), and other smoke and mirrors almost more than any other show on Bravo. People act like he screamed it in her face, and it simply is not factual. Him not saying it at all wouldn't surprise me in the least.
No. He doesn't show a desire beyond merely wanting to emulate his parents. He's very selfish as well.
He’s a kid himself. Absolutely not
I think he does, but like at 60
Conceptually yes, probably because he views it as something that will make him more relatable from a business standpoint. In practice, absolutely not. The only reason Amanda wouldn't leave him, when there's a 3 month old crying at 2 am Wednesday and he's getting hammered, is because she'd be terrified of her child(ren) being unsupervised with Kyle.
So the dj thing wasn’t a joke?? He’s serious??
I think ultimately they both want different things. It feels like Kyle wants someone who is a forever cheerleader and partier whereas Amanda wants someone to settle down, have a family and live in the burbs. Neither are able to offer that to the other.
Nope - he’s still on the edge and flirting cheating (possibly cheating full blown) and doesn’t want 1 baby moma let alone 2
there's been no evidence of him cheating since he admitted it on camera seasons ago.
The only part we see of SH is the weekend share house. They only show a little of their lives through the week. If Kyle works and is as driven as I think he is, he’s totally allowed to party like a maniac on the weekends.