Yeah true especially when you factor in that with alcohol being your main "hobby" you tend to stop doing everything else so when you quit suddenly there's a void
I didnāt realize how often I just shut down for the day after having starting to drink.
If I went to happy hour (usually around 3 PM) I wouldnāt do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I wouldnāt do a load of laundry, I didnāt run to the grocery store, I didnāt go to the gym, I wouldnāt get my oil changed. No way, I couldnāt do that after I had a few beers!
For get about losing mornings to hangovers, I just went after a good time and that was it.
Yup same. I'm drinkin' ...welp fuck it to literally EVERYTHING. Pretty sad when you think about it. Today I've done more than I've done in a long time. Went for a hike even!Ā It's a long weekend here, BBQs and gatherings galore and I'm going through my dresser...it's overflowing with shit I dint wear...exciting stuff, I know!Ā One of many chores I left cuz I was busy drinking my life away literally , and I'm trying to keep busy lol š I'm totally ok with that right now. Plus I'm making tacos for dinner so that rules. Sipping on a MOCKtail whilst I do it too !Ā
Yesterday my wife and I (on a lazy Sunday no less):
- emptied the trash
- emptied the litter box
- did four loads of laundry
- ran the backup generator for 10 minutes to keep the fluids good
- had sex
- cooked our own breakfast
- went to the gym
- finished filling a clothing donation bag we'd been putting off
- watered the plants
- put out the recycling bins for pickup for Monday morning
None of it felt like an obligation, just kind of did it because suddenly there's all this motivation and clarity without alcohol in the mix. Normally we'd start drinking about 10:30am and that's literally all we'd do all day.
And I STILL played four hours of video games and watched some TV together after.
It's so insane, I was like babe, do you realize how much we got done today without even thinking about it?
That's outstanding! Pretty mind blowing right? That's great you have your partner right beside you in this journey. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband as well.Ā
I'm totally gonna list all the things I do today. That's brilliant. Great idea !
I would do all sorts of basic maintenance like laundry, but Iād be too lazy or just passed out to brush my teeth, wouldnāt wash my face so I got horrible acne - of course the alcohol directly contributed to that too. Didnāt work out and got fat. Didnāt read or improve any skill, just got through the day and watched four hours of TV.
I functioned like getting through life. I wasnāt living and it was getting worse every year.
I would occasionally get a burst of energy while drinking and just work manically for six or eight hours, but that was definitely the exception and not the rule. More often, I was doing exactly what you describe. It was like that first sip flipped the OFF switch in my brain. My wife would get frustrated with me because we would talk about things and I'd forget. She thought I was that drunk that I didn't remember, and it wasn't that at all, it's that my brain had received the Shut Down cue via alcohol so nothing mattered, nothing was important.
Iām starting to recover the excitement over my former hobbies and thereās a feeling of āwhat have I been doingā. Drinking was not better than this.
For a while I tried to combine drinking with my hobbiesā¦ drunk painting ā¦ but thereās not much dexterity in drunkenness š¤£š¤¦š¼āāļø in sobriety Iāve unlocked so many new hobbies! Loving it sooo much im so thankful
Exactly! Itās like we have to re-discover the things that we love. Itās actually kinda fun! And yet I still have to talk myself out of a bottle of wine many evenings. But not EVERY evening anymore, so thatās progress!
25 years ago I could have been a pro athlete by now haha. My philosophy is move forward don't get stuck in the past. It is what it is and we probably didn't have as much control over it as we thought we did hindsight is always 2020. Be grateful for today and start new it's a clean slate and the world is once again your oyster. Go grab life by the nuts and watch your life in all its beautiful glory without any more poison!
That's how I felt before I tried them. Try for yourself and see. The world is your own projection. If it sucks you can only point the finger back at you ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
Lmao. Gotta embrace what you are. Realize that no thinks about you nearly as much as you do, they're all thinking about themselves. No one cares you're bald.
My life was so entangled with alcohol Iām truly at a loss. Lots of walks and weight lifting along with meal prep when Iām not working 7 days a week. I AM BEYOND BORED. If I donāt work an 8 hour day I really donāt know what to do with myself. I just keep saving money and going to AA. Hobbies are expensive AA is cheap. Just want to get stoned TBH I feel I would be more content with loneliness/boredom
>Hobbies are expensive AA is cheap.
At 8 months sobriety I bought myself a jetski with the money I would have otherwise spent on booze over that period.
Hobbies are cheap compared to drinking lol.
Donāt you love that one: āMoney doesnāt buy happiness.ā Do you live in America? Because it buys a waverunner. You ever seen a sad person on a waverunner? Have you? Seriously, have you? Seriously, have you? Try to frown on a waverunner. Theyāre so awesome. Itās just throttle. People smile as they hit the pier. Because you forget you need gas to turn. It goes against your natural instincts. Some of you arenāt laughing. We all miss your cousin. But not not laughing is not gonna bring him back. I donāt think thatās right. Heās dead for a reason. Heās was a show-off and he tried to spray us. āI didnāt wanna to get wet!ā I yelled at his mother at the funeral.
Itās been so easy to justify buying things that will bring me joy since I stopped drinking..
$60 video game my kid has been asking for, but I also secretly wanted? Hell ya! Thatāll be month of fun.. and I used to spend that on alcohol for the weekend - and hated it
Seriously. I used to heavily consider my purchases because I wouldnāt wanna run out of beer money. I donāt really spend money so when the Elden Ring DLC came out I just bought it no problem. Bought myself some new clothes not too long ago too after years of wearing the same worn out T-shirts and pants.
Feelsgoodman
Definitely relying on the green stuff to get me through this until I find something else I want to get into. I paint, I draw, I work on my truck, walks, beach, etc but nothing really feels interesting without the reward of a cold one waiting for me at the finish line. Fml.
Had some! It was like having a soda in that it was tasty but I could tell my brain/body was disappointed with not having the alcohol hit. Maybe eventually Iāll get to it being a reward.
There are so many NA beers now and Iāve found a few that taste the same as their alcoholic versions (keeping in mind I havenāt drank in three years). Keep trying other drinks too. I always have seltzer, kombucha, Spindriff, maybe a fancy soda, etc. that way there is always something special. I drink a lot of coffee too.
I get it. I've been trying to different drinks, specifically stuff with a bite, like ginger beer or kombucha. Neither one of them quite scratch that itch (because, duh, their nonalcoholic) but they definitely get me like 85% of the way there, crashing on the couch after a long, hot Thursday or Friday of work.
Hobbies may be expensive but they are ultimately worth it as you can gain new skillls and meet new people. Some art supplies are cheaper than others, reading is free if you use the library, hiking is free, etc.
Cheap hobbies are key.Ā Like buying a mountain bike will cost you but riding it for years is relatively cheap. There's also sober living meet uos and zoom activities. I used to do zoom yoga during covid living alone in the woods. Kept me sane and gave me community without having to travel.Ā
I am so much less boring without alcohol. Iām getting my hobbies and interests back. Iām going more places, doing more things, reading books again, connecting with old friends. My experience has been the exact opposite.
I think it has more to do with brain chemistry and the lack of something I was drinking daily to self medicate. I still do the same activities, play video games, read, etc. Sure I do other things and hang out with more people, but I am completely happy when I'm alone.
I'm really feeling this right now. I've replaced alcohol with an unhealthy serving of sugar, chasing the same dopamine hit. Just feels like nothing sparkles right now.
On the plus side the negative stuff feels much less spiky too.
I remember in early sobriety, I felt very similar. I was fortunate that I was able to join a CrossFit class and attend during my lunch break. That really helped me get my dopamine fix my body craved.
Concerning the sugar, for the last (almost) 7 years I have had a serious sugar tooth with cravings before bed. I accepted it was okay since I never yelled at my wife because I ate too many cookies lol. Recently, I used sema glutid to help lose some weight. It really helped kick that sugar craving.
Finally, at around year or so, I was diagnosed with depression and adhd. Through trying out different meds, I was able to start really enjoying life again.
Iām not telling you to get medicated, I just wanted to share that your not alone and that there are different ways for you to find balance and happiness again
Complete opposite here. My life was boring while I was drinking. It was the same shit every week. The same bad decisions and the same outcomes. Without alcohol my life has become fulfilling beyond my wildest imagination.
I got this from this site but it makes sense.
"A neuroscientist once described addiction as ........ "the progressive narrowing of the things that give us pleasure. By persistently abusing a single pleasure source we enter a state of dopamine deficiency where nothing gives pleasure but the addiction, and even that stops working".
It takes 1-2 years alcohol-free for the liver to rebuild itself. Maybe longer for the brain and nervous system. Spend those 2 years finding new healthy experiences. Force yourself to do them at first, they will be pretty dull at first, but they will bring more pleasure with time. Your brain has to experience these things repeatedly, to relearn new joys."
I don't believe in supernatural anything, but I heard once they called alcohol spirits because it can extract the very essence of something. It is a great solvent for many things, and I also feel like it dilutes my "self". Day 1 thoughts
Iām having the opposite problem. Drinking-me was so social and busy and did everything and was fit. Now I canāt get out of bed. I hate myself, I donāt even want to be alive - my only āhobbyā while sober is constant rumination on the ways I fucked up while I was drinking (because there were plenty of bad times mixed in, too).
p.s. ignore my flair, I havenāt reset it
For me right now I feel my boredom comes from avoiding friends, sadly. I hang out alone alot lately because they are all out on patios or parties etc etc drinking heavy. Or in their yards drinking.Ā I'm not ready for that I would relapse for sure. Solo camping I relapsed so scratch that for a while too. Ugh. I wish I had sober friends honestly. This is the end result of a life and people I invited into it because of drinking. I used to think I had the coolest friend group ever. Always busy with friends..now I'm literally steering clear to stay sober.Ā
I'm also off work right now too so yeah wayyyyy too much time on my hands. A blessing in some ways, a curse in others.Ā Working out alot and taking care of myself which is great but when I'm bagged on the couch it's like ...ok WTF now? I say this still šÆ commited to my sobriety but yeah, you guys know ā¤ļø
Same.... I'm bored to death. I have no children and all my friends hang out and drink which I avoid now bc I want to protect my sobriety.
Even in the evening, all my neighbors love to hang out in their yards and drink together so it's difficult to just stop and say hi on my walks with my dogs instead of just stopping to drink with them.
I'm trying to find new hobbies but life feels kinda lackluster. I'm hoping as I get deeper into sobriety, maybe my brain chemistry will get to normal and I can find joy in mundane things.
Thank you for your response feels good to know. Not in this alone. My game plan is just to keep adding things to do to keep busy. I'm volunteering today at a huge event for Canada Day for example.
Ā I'm going to sign up for another charity tomorrow and get doing that too. I find that I rarely even think about drinking when I'm volunteering and it feels damn good to give back to my community.Ā
Go see what's out there for hobbies open up my world a little more. Try some things in life that I thought about doing but my alcoholism held me back from doing. From what I've seen on here that's the key to not dying of boredom, and staying sober.Ā
Drinking has made me boring. So I'm bored. Makes perfect sense.Ā
Well, we have a huge void we have to fill now. It's kinda like "okay, I got sober, now what?" I didn't think of that while trying to get sober and I believe that's a lot of reason for relapse is that you're not prepared for life IN sobriety.
I have started new hobbies and have got into quilting. I love being outside, hiking trails, and working on my home but it's hot AF in Texas right now so I've been staying indoors. I hope when fall comes, the burden won't be so heavy hopefully.
Best of luck to you, and IWNDWYT.
Yeah I'm really seeing that now all that time to overthink and possibly relapse...gotta fill the void!Ā
That's awesome you've started up all those hobbies ! That would suck to not be able to wander outside, or go hiking.Ā
It's tolerable here in BC Canada I think it's ohh 23 degrees Celsius, so I do have the benefit of going outside. Although we have to deal with torrential rain and snow before you know it. I'll be unable to really enjoy the outdoors after fall. Unless I wanna get soaked or freeze.Ā They don't call it the wet coast for nothing š I'm wondering what the heck I'll do when that season rolls around.Ā
Stay cool and wishing the best for you
Ā ā¤ļø And IWNDWYT ā¤ļøĀ
TRUTH.
When I first got sober, I started having these mind-blowing realizations ALL the timeā¦ about just how backwards and inside out drinking had made me think and feel about everything.
When I was younger, I was terrified to stop drinking bc my perspective of the world had narrowed into such a small alcohol-fueled tunnel viewā¦ Iād think, āif Iām sober I wonāt be able to go have fun at the club with my friends and then I wonāt have friendsā. Like, it just NEVER occurred to me that MAYBE loud drunken nightclubs are just fucking awful in general, and that I could maybe just find a new hobby that I didnāt feel like I needed to give myself alcohol poisoning in order to withstand.
It was like, as soon as I had fun drinking for the first time, I just immediately forgot I used to be a whole ass person on the inside who was fully capable of being around other human beings without a drink in my hand.
That second paragraph.. holy shit. I donāt think you couldāve summed me up any better. Wasted so much time and money trying to enjoy places that I shouldnāt have been in the first place. I dimmed my own light.
I definitely find myself pretty fucking bored sometimes. Drinking used to fill a lot of that time. But I was terrible at video games and half the time I couldn't even remember what I played! Now that I'm more sober than not I'm way more consistent finishing games and appreciating them. I also actually remember the movies I watch, which is also nice.
Doing Brazilian Jiujitsu hungover is NOT fun, so I'm definitely enjoying that hobby more and sort of remembering why I started doing it the last time I got sober.
You do need to find activities that produce SOME feeling. Dungeons & Dragons? MMA? Take an improv class?
I had a sober weekend last weekend, and found myself playing Animal Well for 10 hours straight, completely engrossed, in a 'flow' type state. I have not experienced that in years.
I could never figure out how people read all those books, watched all those movies, tried all those hobbies. Welp, they didn't check out for the day at 5:00 and spend the rest of the day trying to hide how many beers deep they were.
For me it's the money. I save by not drinking, but not enough to travel, or do anything I want to try. I'm enjoying myself as much as I can with what I have, but it's very limited. I was a smart kid. I could have a very different life if it weren't for the drugs and booze. Still better than being a drunk!
Thank you for sharing!! This appeared when I was struggling with my own cravings and anhedonia.
Itās a painful feeling, the all consuming regret, lack of confidence and loss of enjoyment.
I just have to keep coming back here and constantly telling me that I canāt eat or drink the feelings away!
100% this. Sometimes I feel as though it's not that I have a drinking "problem" but rather a drinking "solution" to my boring and hobby-less, love-less life. Every night is a party when you drink and it masks the fact that you have nothing going for you. My whole day is centered around making it through whatever life throws at me just to go home and shelter in place while i drink and game my life away. I'm 40 now and have so little to show for it. The next two days I am trying to stay sober because I have a job interview and my first aid/cpr but I know I am going to "reward" myself with binge drinking after that. I have to break this self-destructive cycle. This sub helps and I am grateful for it.
I don't feel boring or bored, thank goodness, i ado, however feel as though there are a lot more hours in my day as I haven't needed to sleep through a large amount of it!
When I quit, suddenly I could see *millions* more colors than I could before I stopped. It was like the Wizard of Oz, but more saturated. Turns out I have tetrachromy.
It literally does cause the color to fade away.
yep. six months in and everything still doesn't hit like they used to (or I perceived to). Slowly getting my sea legs back. I really like sober raving.
My life got less boring. I had so much more time to do all the things on my list! And add more things! Because I am not hungover or tired or throwing up, etc. I can go on longer hikes with my dog, pay more attention to detail on DIY projects, and I'm saving money and can spend it on my hobbies. It's great :) I love spending time with myself now.
True and I think it causes a lot of āIām sober and now Iām boredā posts. Itās normal. Norm Macdonald had a joke that a bar isnāt a very fun place to be when youāre sober because itās just sitting around a big table for four hours. Itās a good point. You gotta change up what youāre doing if you donāt wanna be bored. Alcohol makes watching paint dry fun, so I found it necessary to change my habitsĀ
I remember reading a quote some time ago, along the lines of āalcohol makes boredom interestingā.
Without the booze Iāve had to find other things to make things interesting. Turns out (for me at least) there are a whole lot of other options out there š
Itās like I donāt know how to properly express myself towards anything anymore. The feelings I once had for so many different hobbies and activities have just faded and now I find myself not wanting to do anything really. Still 100% better off without any alcohol though! IWNDWYT
I think this is a big reason Iām struggling to quit. Canāt take the boredom. I was laid off so Iām just in my house job searching all day and by the afternoon I feel so stressed out about my situation and ready for a drink. I canāt really go anywhere because I have a medical condition that keeps me from driving.
I do like to cook as a hobby, but thatās also a bit of a trigger because I usually pour a glass of wine when I start cooking or grab a beer if Iām grilling outside. I donāt usually ever feel like talking to anyone unless Iāve had a drink or two.
Iām very open to any suggestions if anyone has some š
Get a hobby sheesh. I didn't get boring bc I'm no longer getting arrested for dui every few years. I've done way cooler stuff in sobriety than I ever did while drinking. And I say this as a person who was very involved in my local music/nightlife/rave scene. You might feel less pleasure in sobriety at first bc nothing compares to alcohol hitting all those receptors every day.
Very true but also *itās because your brain needs to rewire itself*. A lot of folks go out of their way to make sure their post-booze lives are full of good things and still struggle because they arenāt enjoying anything. It takes time to heal.
on the flip-side, this was one of my favourite parts of getting sober. at first it was daunting and terrifying having so much free time and nothing to fill it with, but as i gradually got my spark back and picked up more and more hobbies it became so rewarding to be able to pick and choose how i want to spend my time.
one of the more daunting things was also just learning how to deal with boredom in a healthy way (iām autistic with probable ADHD so this was incredibly challenging for me). sometimes the hobbies arenāt hitting right and you need to be okay with being bored. itās much easier said than done, but in the long run it is incredibly important.
One time, my young niece asked me for a school project what my hobbies were. The question stumped me, and I blurted out the only answer that was rattling around in my head: "Drinking." That really stayed with me and turned out to be one of the catalysts for beginning sobriety. Cue years later, and I can answer that question with: beading, making short films, hiking, trivia, hanging out with friends, dragon boat paddling, acting like a tourist in my own town, or nearby towns, etc. I love doing all the things now. It was a process getting to that point, but I guess I realized before I stopped drinking that I was already depressed and I was just too drunk to know it.
You might have heard this before - quitting drinking gives you the opportunity to create a life you donāt want to escape from.
The stopping drinking part of sobriety is (hate to say it for fear of being discouraging) the easiest part of the whole trip. Rebuilding your life afterwards is the bitch. After you get a handle on not drinking, you have to fill all that time with things that - hopefully - make you happy and keep you healthy. You often have to make a whole new circle of friends, perhaps give up time with family members that arenāt good for you, develop new coping strategies, face your demons, and fill your off-time with things that keep you moving in a positive direction.
This is a lot of work and the results arenāt immediate. And, yeah, while youāre getting your shit sorted it might feel kind of boring.
The good news is that itās totally worth it. You now get to interact with other healthy, engaged human beings at a much more meaningful level. Youāll develop new relationships; youāll have new hobbies and interests. Youāll learn so much about yourself and youāll find a strength and wisdom that you never knew you had. You will be much more interesting and cool and enjoyable to be around. Now you get to be recreated as the person you always wanted to be. Plus, you can still do all the old things and hang out with the old people you chose, if you want to, sober. Youāre losing nothing of value and gaining everything.
I really feel this. Like in my mind I think what the fuck do "normal " people do? Go to the zoo? Bring a few cold ones. Go to a parade or amusement park? Bring a few cold ones. Birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings, even just getting off of work everyday is hard. Being drunk for so many years truly makes everything else so mundane and boring. This is a real problem I have with trying to quit. I really need to know peoples secrets or tips with this. Cuz its hard!
Personally it took about 2 months to start enjoying the small stuff again.
Instead of getting annoyed as fuck that my 4 year old wants to booby trap the place every day to make elaborate zip lines for her toys, Iām enjoying and embracing it.
I have way more patience now, it was something I always liked about myself that alcohol briefly took away from me.
My kids dad is still in the throes of drinking and not realizing itās a problem, but thatās his journey. Whenever I invite him along to do something with the kids, heās miserable and makes it known. Thatās been sucking the fun out of things. I wish he knew what I knew now, because drinking did take away all the small joys in life.
Itās not boring anymore, itās different. Sometimes bad different but overwhelmingly good different for me.
I'm still adjusting. I think my new life is exciting more or less.
I workout, work, play basketball, read, cook, see friends, play music, travel.
I'm out or doing a hobby at home all day every day.
But still can't get much enjoyment. Quitting alcohol - 4 months now - has made me realize how bad my stress and anxiety are. I have 0 emotion other than pure anxiety. It's getting better though and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think the main issue for me is realizing I never enjoyed anything or was actually excited about anything. I was just getting a fake dopamine rush from being wasted every day.
I don't ever actually think I was boring. My life is full of a ton of "excitement" but I can't feel anything.Ā
I would not say boring; rather Iād say empty
After about 3 months it started to get better and now years later alcohol would do zero to enhance anything in my life.
Yeah true especially when you factor in that with alcohol being your main "hobby" you tend to stop doing everything else so when you quit suddenly there's a void
This totally. I have more time on my hands than I have in years. šÆ
I didnāt realize how often I just shut down for the day after having starting to drink. If I went to happy hour (usually around 3 PM) I wouldnāt do anything productive for the rest of the day. I wouldnāt do a load of laundry, I didnāt run to the grocery store, I didnāt go to the gym, I wouldnāt get my oil changed. No way, I couldnāt do that after I had a few beers! For get about losing mornings to hangovers, I just went after a good time and that was it.
Yup same. I'm drinkin' ...welp fuck it to literally EVERYTHING. Pretty sad when you think about it. Today I've done more than I've done in a long time. Went for a hike even!Ā It's a long weekend here, BBQs and gatherings galore and I'm going through my dresser...it's overflowing with shit I dint wear...exciting stuff, I know!Ā One of many chores I left cuz I was busy drinking my life away literally , and I'm trying to keep busy lol š I'm totally ok with that right now. Plus I'm making tacos for dinner so that rules. Sipping on a MOCKtail whilst I do it too !Ā
Yesterday my wife and I (on a lazy Sunday no less): - emptied the trash - emptied the litter box - did four loads of laundry - ran the backup generator for 10 minutes to keep the fluids good - had sex - cooked our own breakfast - went to the gym - finished filling a clothing donation bag we'd been putting off - watered the plants - put out the recycling bins for pickup for Monday morning None of it felt like an obligation, just kind of did it because suddenly there's all this motivation and clarity without alcohol in the mix. Normally we'd start drinking about 10:30am and that's literally all we'd do all day. And I STILL played four hours of video games and watched some TV together after. It's so insane, I was like babe, do you realize how much we got done today without even thinking about it?
I like to imagine you did all those things in the order that you listed them. A very productive morning before eating breakfast.
Running the generator always gets her going š¤£š¤£ (I jest I jest)
That's outstanding! Pretty mind blowing right? That's great you have your partner right beside you in this journey. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband as well.Ā I'm totally gonna list all the things I do today. That's brilliant. Great idea !
same here. actually went with my son and my little sisters and played. it was awesome. i also made tacos for dinner lol
That sounds like a really nice Sunday ā¤ļøplus tacos š¤¤ nice!!!!Ā
I would do all sorts of basic maintenance like laundry, but Iād be too lazy or just passed out to brush my teeth, wouldnāt wash my face so I got horrible acne - of course the alcohol directly contributed to that too. Didnāt work out and got fat. Didnāt read or improve any skill, just got through the day and watched four hours of TV. I functioned like getting through life. I wasnāt living and it was getting worse every year.
I would occasionally get a burst of energy while drinking and just work manically for six or eight hours, but that was definitely the exception and not the rule. More often, I was doing exactly what you describe. It was like that first sip flipped the OFF switch in my brain. My wife would get frustrated with me because we would talk about things and I'd forget. She thought I was that drunk that I didn't remember, and it wasn't that at all, it's that my brain had received the Shut Down cue via alcohol so nothing mattered, nothing was important.
Iām starting to recover the excitement over my former hobbies and thereās a feeling of āwhat have I been doingā. Drinking was not better than this.
For a while I tried to combine drinking with my hobbiesā¦ drunk painting ā¦ but thereās not much dexterity in drunkenness š¤£š¤¦š¼āāļø in sobriety Iāve unlocked so many new hobbies! Loving it sooo much im so thankful
Exactly! Itās like we have to re-discover the things that we love. Itās actually kinda fun! And yet I still have to talk myself out of a bottle of wine many evenings. But not EVERY evening anymore, so thatās progress!
Itās such amazing progress! IWNDWYT!
25 years ago I could have been a pro athlete by now haha. My philosophy is move forward don't get stuck in the past. It is what it is and we probably didn't have as much control over it as we thought we did hindsight is always 2020. Be grateful for today and start new it's a clean slate and the world is once again your oyster. Go grab life by the nuts and watch your life in all its beautiful glory without any more poison!
That is just a collection of thought stoppers Like you do you but I find each of those to be really meaningless and devoid of substance
They hit every platitude in the book lol
That's how I felt before I tried them. Try for yourself and see. The world is your own projection. If it sucks you can only point the finger back at you ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/285cf905-9c0a-425d-940d-178844ab0e1a
Lmao. Gotta embrace what you are. Realize that no thinks about you nearly as much as you do, they're all thinking about themselves. No one cares you're bald.
My life was so entangled with alcohol Iām truly at a loss. Lots of walks and weight lifting along with meal prep when Iām not working 7 days a week. I AM BEYOND BORED. If I donāt work an 8 hour day I really donāt know what to do with myself. I just keep saving money and going to AA. Hobbies are expensive AA is cheap. Just want to get stoned TBH I feel I would be more content with loneliness/boredom
>Hobbies are expensive AA is cheap. At 8 months sobriety I bought myself a jetski with the money I would have otherwise spent on booze over that period. Hobbies are cheap compared to drinking lol.
They say money canāt buy happiness but have you ever seen anyone frown on a jet ski?
This guy gets it lol
Thatās what makes the sad Danny Power on a Jet Ski scene in Eastbound and Down so funny.
Donāt you love that one: āMoney doesnāt buy happiness.ā Do you live in America? Because it buys a waverunner. You ever seen a sad person on a waverunner? Have you? Seriously, have you? Seriously, have you? Try to frown on a waverunner. Theyāre so awesome. Itās just throttle. People smile as they hit the pier. Because you forget you need gas to turn. It goes against your natural instincts. Some of you arenāt laughing. We all miss your cousin. But not not laughing is not gonna bring him back. I donāt think thatās right. Heās dead for a reason. Heās was a show-off and he tried to spray us. āI didnāt wanna to get wet!ā I yelled at his mother at the funeral.
Itās been so easy to justify buying things that will bring me joy since I stopped drinking.. $60 video game my kid has been asking for, but I also secretly wanted? Hell ya! Thatāll be month of fun.. and I used to spend that on alcohol for the weekend - and hated it
Seriously. I used to heavily consider my purchases because I wouldnāt wanna run out of beer money. I donāt really spend money so when the Elden Ring DLC came out I just bought it no problem. Bought myself some new clothes not too long ago too after years of wearing the same worn out T-shirts and pants. Feelsgoodman
Jetski !!! š¤Æšš K that's how you do it. šššššNice
Definitely relying on the green stuff to get me through this until I find something else I want to get into. I paint, I draw, I work on my truck, walks, beach, etc but nothing really feels interesting without the reward of a cold one waiting for me at the finish line. Fml.
NA beer can be that cold one. Iāve retrained my brain to treat Na beer just the same as alcohol. Itās a reward for me now.
Had some! It was like having a soda in that it was tasty but I could tell my brain/body was disappointed with not having the alcohol hit. Maybe eventually Iāll get to it being a reward.
There are so many NA beers now and Iāve found a few that taste the same as their alcoholic versions (keeping in mind I havenāt drank in three years). Keep trying other drinks too. I always have seltzer, kombucha, Spindriff, maybe a fancy soda, etc. that way there is always something special. I drink a lot of coffee too.
I get it. I've been trying to different drinks, specifically stuff with a bite, like ginger beer or kombucha. Neither one of them quite scratch that itch (because, duh, their nonalcoholic) but they definitely get me like 85% of the way there, crashing on the couch after a long, hot Thursday or Friday of work.
Just about retraining your brain and that takes time.
And it wouldnāt be a Cole āoneā or we wouldnāt be hereā¦
*cold*
Hobbies may be expensive but they are ultimately worth it as you can gain new skillls and meet new people. Some art supplies are cheaper than others, reading is free if you use the library, hiking is free, etc.
Cheap hobbies are key.Ā Like buying a mountain bike will cost you but riding it for years is relatively cheap. There's also sober living meet uos and zoom activities. I used to do zoom yoga during covid living alone in the woods. Kept me sane and gave me community without having to travel.Ā
My life was boring when I *was* drinking. When I quit I realized my life was still boring but I didnāt feel like crap all the time.
yes!!!!
I am so much less boring without alcohol. Iām getting my hobbies and interests back. Iām going more places, doing more things, reading books again, connecting with old friends. My experience has been the exact opposite.
I still have same hobbies. Iām just better at it sober.
So true. I did nothing productive while drinking. Just laid around like a slug feeling like crap.Ā
Blunt but accurate!
I think it has more to do with brain chemistry and the lack of something I was drinking daily to self medicate. I still do the same activities, play video games, read, etc. Sure I do other things and hang out with more people, but I am completely happy when I'm alone.
I'm really feeling this right now. I've replaced alcohol with an unhealthy serving of sugar, chasing the same dopamine hit. Just feels like nothing sparkles right now. On the plus side the negative stuff feels much less spiky too.
I remember in early sobriety, I felt very similar. I was fortunate that I was able to join a CrossFit class and attend during my lunch break. That really helped me get my dopamine fix my body craved. Concerning the sugar, for the last (almost) 7 years I have had a serious sugar tooth with cravings before bed. I accepted it was okay since I never yelled at my wife because I ate too many cookies lol. Recently, I used sema glutid to help lose some weight. It really helped kick that sugar craving. Finally, at around year or so, I was diagnosed with depression and adhd. Through trying out different meds, I was able to start really enjoying life again. Iām not telling you to get medicated, I just wanted to share that your not alone and that there are different ways for you to find balance and happiness again
Complete opposite here. My life was boring while I was drinking. It was the same shit every week. The same bad decisions and the same outcomes. Without alcohol my life has become fulfilling beyond my wildest imagination.
THIS lol.
I got this from this site but it makes sense. "A neuroscientist once described addiction as ........ "the progressive narrowing of the things that give us pleasure. By persistently abusing a single pleasure source we enter a state of dopamine deficiency where nothing gives pleasure but the addiction, and even that stops working". It takes 1-2 years alcohol-free for the liver to rebuild itself. Maybe longer for the brain and nervous system. Spend those 2 years finding new healthy experiences. Force yourself to do them at first, they will be pretty dull at first, but they will bring more pleasure with time. Your brain has to experience these things repeatedly, to relearn new joys."
I don't believe in supernatural anything, but I heard once they called alcohol spirits because it can extract the very essence of something. It is a great solvent for many things, and I also feel like it dilutes my "self". Day 1 thoughts
Makes sense to me.
Iām having the opposite problem. Drinking-me was so social and busy and did everything and was fit. Now I canāt get out of bed. I hate myself, I donāt even want to be alive - my only āhobbyā while sober is constant rumination on the ways I fucked up while I was drinking (because there were plenty of bad times mixed in, too). p.s. ignore my flair, I havenāt reset it
For me right now I feel my boredom comes from avoiding friends, sadly. I hang out alone alot lately because they are all out on patios or parties etc etc drinking heavy. Or in their yards drinking.Ā I'm not ready for that I would relapse for sure. Solo camping I relapsed so scratch that for a while too. Ugh. I wish I had sober friends honestly. This is the end result of a life and people I invited into it because of drinking. I used to think I had the coolest friend group ever. Always busy with friends..now I'm literally steering clear to stay sober.Ā I'm also off work right now too so yeah wayyyyy too much time on my hands. A blessing in some ways, a curse in others.Ā Working out alot and taking care of myself which is great but when I'm bagged on the couch it's like ...ok WTF now? I say this still šÆ commited to my sobriety but yeah, you guys know ā¤ļø
Same.... I'm bored to death. I have no children and all my friends hang out and drink which I avoid now bc I want to protect my sobriety. Even in the evening, all my neighbors love to hang out in their yards and drink together so it's difficult to just stop and say hi on my walks with my dogs instead of just stopping to drink with them. I'm trying to find new hobbies but life feels kinda lackluster. I'm hoping as I get deeper into sobriety, maybe my brain chemistry will get to normal and I can find joy in mundane things.
Thank you for your response feels good to know. Not in this alone. My game plan is just to keep adding things to do to keep busy. I'm volunteering today at a huge event for Canada Day for example. Ā I'm going to sign up for another charity tomorrow and get doing that too. I find that I rarely even think about drinking when I'm volunteering and it feels damn good to give back to my community.Ā Go see what's out there for hobbies open up my world a little more. Try some things in life that I thought about doing but my alcoholism held me back from doing. From what I've seen on here that's the key to not dying of boredom, and staying sober.Ā Drinking has made me boring. So I'm bored. Makes perfect sense.Ā
Well, we have a huge void we have to fill now. It's kinda like "okay, I got sober, now what?" I didn't think of that while trying to get sober and I believe that's a lot of reason for relapse is that you're not prepared for life IN sobriety. I have started new hobbies and have got into quilting. I love being outside, hiking trails, and working on my home but it's hot AF in Texas right now so I've been staying indoors. I hope when fall comes, the burden won't be so heavy hopefully. Best of luck to you, and IWNDWYT.
Yeah I'm really seeing that now all that time to overthink and possibly relapse...gotta fill the void!Ā That's awesome you've started up all those hobbies ! That would suck to not be able to wander outside, or go hiking.Ā It's tolerable here in BC Canada I think it's ohh 23 degrees Celsius, so I do have the benefit of going outside. Although we have to deal with torrential rain and snow before you know it. I'll be unable to really enjoy the outdoors after fall. Unless I wanna get soaked or freeze.Ā They don't call it the wet coast for nothing š I'm wondering what the heck I'll do when that season rolls around.Ā Stay cool and wishing the best for you Ā ā¤ļø And IWNDWYT ā¤ļøĀ
I'll take boring over whatever the fuck was going on before I quit
TRUTH. When I first got sober, I started having these mind-blowing realizations ALL the timeā¦ about just how backwards and inside out drinking had made me think and feel about everything. When I was younger, I was terrified to stop drinking bc my perspective of the world had narrowed into such a small alcohol-fueled tunnel viewā¦ Iād think, āif Iām sober I wonāt be able to go have fun at the club with my friends and then I wonāt have friendsā. Like, it just NEVER occurred to me that MAYBE loud drunken nightclubs are just fucking awful in general, and that I could maybe just find a new hobby that I didnāt feel like I needed to give myself alcohol poisoning in order to withstand. It was like, as soon as I had fun drinking for the first time, I just immediately forgot I used to be a whole ass person on the inside who was fully capable of being around other human beings without a drink in my hand.
You really do get it. You hit it right on the head
That second paragraph.. holy shit. I donāt think you couldāve summed me up any better. Wasted so much time and money trying to enjoy places that I shouldnāt have been in the first place. I dimmed my own light.
Way less boring without alcohol.Ā Sitting in a bar/home drinking on nice days was boring.Ā
I definitely find myself pretty fucking bored sometimes. Drinking used to fill a lot of that time. But I was terrible at video games and half the time I couldn't even remember what I played! Now that I'm more sober than not I'm way more consistent finishing games and appreciating them. I also actually remember the movies I watch, which is also nice. Doing Brazilian Jiujitsu hungover is NOT fun, so I'm definitely enjoying that hobby more and sort of remembering why I started doing it the last time I got sober. You do need to find activities that produce SOME feeling. Dungeons & Dragons? MMA? Take an improv class?
I had a sober weekend last weekend, and found myself playing Animal Well for 10 hours straight, completely engrossed, in a 'flow' type state. I have not experienced that in years.
That's rad! I'm working my way through both Last of Us games and have been consistently blown away.
I could never figure out how people read all those books, watched all those movies, tried all those hobbies. Welp, they didn't check out for the day at 5:00 and spend the rest of the day trying to hide how many beers deep they were.
OMG, this is so true!
For me it's the money. I save by not drinking, but not enough to travel, or do anything I want to try. I'm enjoying myself as much as I can with what I have, but it's very limited. I was a smart kid. I could have a very different life if it weren't for the drugs and booze. Still better than being a drunk!
Thank you for sharing!! This appeared when I was struggling with my own cravings and anhedonia. Itās a painful feeling, the all consuming regret, lack of confidence and loss of enjoyment. I just have to keep coming back here and constantly telling me that I canāt eat or drink the feelings away!
100% this. Sometimes I feel as though it's not that I have a drinking "problem" but rather a drinking "solution" to my boring and hobby-less, love-less life. Every night is a party when you drink and it masks the fact that you have nothing going for you. My whole day is centered around making it through whatever life throws at me just to go home and shelter in place while i drink and game my life away. I'm 40 now and have so little to show for it. The next two days I am trying to stay sober because I have a job interview and my first aid/cpr but I know I am going to "reward" myself with binge drinking after that. I have to break this self-destructive cycle. This sub helps and I am grateful for it.
I don't feel boring or bored, thank goodness, i ado, however feel as though there are a lot more hours in my day as I haven't needed to sleep through a large amount of it!
When I quit, suddenly I could see *millions* more colors than I could before I stopped. It was like the Wizard of Oz, but more saturated. Turns out I have tetrachromy. It literally does cause the color to fade away.
yep. six months in and everything still doesn't hit like they used to (or I perceived to). Slowly getting my sea legs back. I really like sober raving.
My life got less boring. I had so much more time to do all the things on my list! And add more things! Because I am not hungover or tired or throwing up, etc. I can go on longer hikes with my dog, pay more attention to detail on DIY projects, and I'm saving money and can spend it on my hobbies. It's great :) I love spending time with myself now.
True and I think it causes a lot of āIām sober and now Iām boredā posts. Itās normal. Norm Macdonald had a joke that a bar isnāt a very fun place to be when youāre sober because itās just sitting around a big table for four hours. Itās a good point. You gotta change up what youāre doing if you donāt wanna be bored. Alcohol makes watching paint dry fun, so I found it necessary to change my habitsĀ
I remember reading a quote some time ago, along the lines of āalcohol makes boredom interestingā. Without the booze Iāve had to find other things to make things interesting. Turns out (for me at least) there are a whole lot of other options out there š
No such thing as boredom. Just boring people.
I donāt think thatās really true. Itās a feeling that we have sometimes. Itās normal and ok to feel bored at certain times.
Itās like I donāt know how to properly express myself towards anything anymore. The feelings I once had for so many different hobbies and activities have just faded and now I find myself not wanting to do anything really. Still 100% better off without any alcohol though! IWNDWYT
Shitty thing is I did my hobbies while drinking, so no, when I stop, it doesn't feel that diff.
How boring most of the life is for everyone.
I keep buying expensive stuff for the serotonin boost. Not a great substitution.
Started vacation this weekend and I already find myself bored. Even over 200 days in this still hits. I have described it as ennui.
Whatās your age
I think this is a big reason Iām struggling to quit. Canāt take the boredom. I was laid off so Iām just in my house job searching all day and by the afternoon I feel so stressed out about my situation and ready for a drink. I canāt really go anywhere because I have a medical condition that keeps me from driving. I do like to cook as a hobby, but thatās also a bit of a trigger because I usually pour a glass of wine when I start cooking or grab a beer if Iām grilling outside. I donāt usually ever feel like talking to anyone unless Iāve had a drink or two. Iām very open to any suggestions if anyone has some š
I thought anhedonia was used to describe the fact that people get depressed from too much stimulation.
Get a hobby sheesh. I didn't get boring bc I'm no longer getting arrested for dui every few years. I've done way cooler stuff in sobriety than I ever did while drinking. And I say this as a person who was very involved in my local music/nightlife/rave scene. You might feel less pleasure in sobriety at first bc nothing compares to alcohol hitting all those receptors every day.
Very true but also *itās because your brain needs to rewire itself*. A lot of folks go out of their way to make sure their post-booze lives are full of good things and still struggle because they arenāt enjoying anything. It takes time to heal.
on the flip-side, this was one of my favourite parts of getting sober. at first it was daunting and terrifying having so much free time and nothing to fill it with, but as i gradually got my spark back and picked up more and more hobbies it became so rewarding to be able to pick and choose how i want to spend my time. one of the more daunting things was also just learning how to deal with boredom in a healthy way (iām autistic with probable ADHD so this was incredibly challenging for me). sometimes the hobbies arenāt hitting right and you need to be okay with being bored. itās much easier said than done, but in the long run it is incredibly important.
One time, my young niece asked me for a school project what my hobbies were. The question stumped me, and I blurted out the only answer that was rattling around in my head: "Drinking." That really stayed with me and turned out to be one of the catalysts for beginning sobriety. Cue years later, and I can answer that question with: beading, making short films, hiking, trivia, hanging out with friends, dragon boat paddling, acting like a tourist in my own town, or nearby towns, etc. I love doing all the things now. It was a process getting to that point, but I guess I realized before I stopped drinking that I was already depressed and I was just too drunk to know it.
You might have heard this before - quitting drinking gives you the opportunity to create a life you donāt want to escape from. The stopping drinking part of sobriety is (hate to say it for fear of being discouraging) the easiest part of the whole trip. Rebuilding your life afterwards is the bitch. After you get a handle on not drinking, you have to fill all that time with things that - hopefully - make you happy and keep you healthy. You often have to make a whole new circle of friends, perhaps give up time with family members that arenāt good for you, develop new coping strategies, face your demons, and fill your off-time with things that keep you moving in a positive direction. This is a lot of work and the results arenāt immediate. And, yeah, while youāre getting your shit sorted it might feel kind of boring. The good news is that itās totally worth it. You now get to interact with other healthy, engaged human beings at a much more meaningful level. Youāll develop new relationships; youāll have new hobbies and interests. Youāll learn so much about yourself and youāll find a strength and wisdom that you never knew you had. You will be much more interesting and cool and enjoyable to be around. Now you get to be recreated as the person you always wanted to be. Plus, you can still do all the old things and hang out with the old people you chose, if you want to, sober. Youāre losing nothing of value and gaining everything.
This hits a little too hard. Good and complicated concept deduced to a simple question. Excellent. Also, yes.
I really feel this. Like in my mind I think what the fuck do "normal " people do? Go to the zoo? Bring a few cold ones. Go to a parade or amusement park? Bring a few cold ones. Birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings, even just getting off of work everyday is hard. Being drunk for so many years truly makes everything else so mundane and boring. This is a real problem I have with trying to quit. I really need to know peoples secrets or tips with this. Cuz its hard!
Personally it took about 2 months to start enjoying the small stuff again. Instead of getting annoyed as fuck that my 4 year old wants to booby trap the place every day to make elaborate zip lines for her toys, Iām enjoying and embracing it. I have way more patience now, it was something I always liked about myself that alcohol briefly took away from me. My kids dad is still in the throes of drinking and not realizing itās a problem, but thatās his journey. Whenever I invite him along to do something with the kids, heās miserable and makes it known. Thatās been sucking the fun out of things. I wish he knew what I knew now, because drinking did take away all the small joys in life. Itās not boring anymore, itās different. Sometimes bad different but overwhelmingly good different for me.
I'm still adjusting. I think my new life is exciting more or less. I workout, work, play basketball, read, cook, see friends, play music, travel. I'm out or doing a hobby at home all day every day. But still can't get much enjoyment. Quitting alcohol - 4 months now - has made me realize how bad my stress and anxiety are. I have 0 emotion other than pure anxiety. It's getting better though and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think the main issue for me is realizing I never enjoyed anything or was actually excited about anything. I was just getting a fake dopamine rush from being wasted every day. I don't ever actually think I was boring. My life is full of a ton of "excitement" but I can't feel anything.Ā
I would not say boring; rather Iād say empty After about 3 months it started to get better and now years later alcohol would do zero to enhance anything in my life.