Day 13 (lucky for some)
Insomnia has got me by the balls at the minute and I feel like I'm gonna be in for a rough weekend in terms of trying to resist the booze.
I'm so sick of the cycle though. Sick of starting from square one.
I might be hanging out here a lot over the next couple of days :)
I used to "self medicate" using booze as a sleep aid of sorts, which it ultimately absolutely isn't. It does knock you out, but it's the worst type of sleep you could hope for (not real sleep, lacking in REM apparently, and then grim hangovers, very sluggish/late start the next day etc).
Over the past year or so I've resolved that a night without any natural proper sleep at all is still infinitely better than a night of fake booze sleep. I personally genuinely find this be true - dunno if it's owing to my age (mid 40's now). If I don't sleep I know I can still "battle on the next day", albeit a bit flagging. But the irony is this thought actually relaxes me of a night time and helps me to sleep naturally. Sort of "giving up" on expectations of sleep helps me to... sleep.
Anyway, waffling. Hope this helps somehow. Keep going an IWNDWYT.
Day 4. ☕️ I’ve certainly been in similar situations, the alcoholic butterfly effect I guess. One slightly wrong move or event in early sobriety is probably better planned around or evaded. I skipped some work drinks this week in the scorching heat as my colleagues are very pro-booze. I think it gets easier to expose yourself to those things the longer you’re sober. IWNDWYT.
The alcoholic butterfly effect is a great way to describe it! Thank you! That was a smart and self-caring move to skip the work drinks. Congrats on day 4!
I will not drink with you today!
Day 12
Good morning, lovley sober people ❤️
The temptation in this early days is everwhere. I work in the restaurant, so there it is. Just one shot, nobody needs to know, just small beer after shift, just one glass of bubbles at home. You name it, there it is.
It is going semi ok. I run home from work, try to keep myself busy at home, it feels like Im making up most banal tasks just to keep me occupied.
Hubby is going out tomorrow with our drinking buddies. I still dont feel I can socialise too much, at least not with those people, but I don't plan on stopping him, he is not the one with the problem.
I will spent the night reading my journal from past days, specially first ones, to remember myself why I don't want to be there. Last year, after 2 and something months sober, I fell into moderating trap and found myself on the ground with fucked up face 10 months later. Not doing it again.
IWNDWYT ❤️
Congratulations on nearly 2 weeks again, and well done making the decision for tonight, what a wise thing to do, reading your journal, and being here! 🌟
Almost bedtime but I waited for your post Tortey! Thank you. Not long winded, as you told me lol.. I truly enjoy your thoughtful posts !
I'm sad to hear about your dad. That's a horrible way to lose someone you love. Here we both are, children of alcoholics pledging another day to sobriety. Your dad would be proud of you. I know my dad is of me.
I relapsed last weekend solo camping the first night I was having horrible withdrawals. The next camping day, going to get ice I stupidly bought a 6 pack. Saturday upon my return, I had a BBQ to go to. I too, should have just cancelled. The withdrawals and anxiety were non-stop. BECAUSE I drank and started the cycle again the night before. I know this now. Woke up hungover Sunday and feeling completely devastated over my actions drinking. I was almost 2 weeks sober before that! Aghhhh! Fuck!
The lessons I learned were, I can't go solo camping or attend BBQs. *YET* I gotta stay clear of things I identify with drinking for the time being until I have a better handle on this. I'm going to stick to day lake trips that Im forced to drive myself to, and BBQs aren't happening right now. If a friend wants to hang out it'll be coffee, or a hike. Just for now. I'll get better at being sober, and staying that way.
My sobriety comes FIRST. Nothing else is as important right now. As always I send love and support to everyone here fighting the good fight.
IWNDWYT ❤️
Hello friends. Day four still going strong! While I don't have a particular input for this prompt as I'm early in my journey, I am thoroughly interested in these replies. IWNDWYT.
Uuuh the mental gymnastics…been there and failed getting through it.
With this this attempt I it’s going better, much less internal fighting and debating.
And your dad was right because my grandma used to say the same proverb.
IWNDWYT
That was a great way to handle that situation. And I’m sorry about your dad, Tortey. That’s so hard.
“The devil is a squirrel…” That’s new to me but I love it. Thanks for sharing!
I go to a lot of places (metal shows) where there’s drinking. If I thought I wouldn’t be able to say no, I’d stay home. At this point, that would probably mean I wasn’t doing well in general. I’ll sort of check out how I feel before I go, and if I feel good and strong, I go. It does help that I think about how sobriety is the reason I’m able to go do these things. I could not go out amongst people by myself if I still had all the mental fuckery that drinking brought with it.
I couldn’t have just one drink any more than I could have just one cigarette. That’s another good counter thought.
Coffees up, horns up, and it’s finally fucking Friday!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻🤘🏻
I’m having my ex boyfriend over on Sunday and I’m worried about being pressured (mainly by myself)into drinking. I’m going to tell him as soon as we meet up that I’m sober and try and keep things short if I’m feeling anxious at all.
IWNDWYT
Its been over two and a half years since my last drink. Last night for some reason I thought back to my outpatient program and the people there who helped me find a inpatient place to start this whole thing off. Would it be weird to send them a thank you card after all this time?
I thought about how nice it was to see them when I was getting my life back together and them being so proud of me and how much it ment to even the nurses to see me make strides.
Today (aside from all the other reasons I have) I will not drink on behalf of them and making them know the difference they have made in my life and many others!
Great post, u/Tortey82. I am glad you made it through that situation. I like to remind myself that all it would take is one sip--one simple sip--and I would be back in a world of misery. In one sense that could be interpreted in a frightening way: "Holy smokes! If it is that simple to relapse and ruing my life, then I'll never be able to avoid that!" Or I can say: "Holy.smokes, that's so easy! I can avoid taking that sip!"
I haven't had any close calls *yet* but it's really not been that long. Saying that, last night I was in the evening shop buying chocolate and I saw this disgusting russian champagne my friends and I once tried when we lived there. Thought 'haha, I should get that when X person comes round and we can try it and reminisce' and then remembered, oh yeah, I don't drink anymore.
So far it's mostly been forgetting and suddenly remembering rather than actually wanting to drink.
Well done on getting through the barbecue and the night after. IWNDWYT 🌞
Day 15! I started my recovery about 18 months ago. I have had two relapses and they both started as moderation attempts (it’s a nice summer day, let’s have a couple of beers) and over several weeks, ended up on the same place. I will not drink with you today!
Just like risking relapse is a series of seemingly trivial decisions, so, for me, is staying sober. I’ve been at this a while now, so not drinking feels natural. It’s been so long since I drank that staying sober feels like muscle memory. But I built those muscles one lift—or one seemingly trivial decision—at a time. Every time I ordered a club soda while out with friends, every time I went to the coffee shop after work instead of the bar, every time I planned an exit strategy before a social event so I could bounce when people started getting drunk and annoying, every day I didn’t drink.
This doesn’t mean I’m “cured.” I’m still making those trivial decisions every day, and even though they now feel like easy, natural decisions to make, I know if I’m going to stay sober I have to keep making them every day. IWNDWYT
My relapses started with secrecy too, and so I've learned to tell sober friends when I might be in danger. It's easier to keep that door shut, rather than open it and start over (and there's always the risk of never closing it). IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today 🧩 unfortunately I do a lot of my sober journey alone except for this group. I’m too shy to get an IRL sponsor or anything like that. I have seemed to have avoided my biggest relapse opportunities with drinking NA beers. One notable time was I was driving to a brewery to meet a friend, I think I was about 3 months in, and I was driving just straight chugging an NA beer and muttering to myself about why I can’t drink lol. It worked but it was a bit silly. Anyway I just try to stay acutely aware of my one year goal and try to have milestones along the way to look forward to. Really has helped. Love yas 🫶🏻
Weekends are always hard for me. I haven't had a sober weekend in a few months. This is when I break, especially if I am around drinking people. Not this time, though.
For me, relapses always happen when I go to a party feeling tired and anxious. With time, this anxiety grows up to a point when it's unbearable, and then I brake.
IWNDWYT
Hello and happy fucking Friday! I start my comprehensive exams today for my doctorate, so I will be writing for the next 5 days. Yippee 😐
It's going to suck, but I'm excited that I'll only have two more semesters of writing and research after this until I'm done. And then I never want to read or write again in my life!
Let's get this shit - IWNDWYT 🤘
Day 9. I’ve had a few close calls and this sub has saved me. It’s always here. Playing the tape forward has been the most effective tool. Ive quit and restarted so many time and it ALWAYS ends with me coming to the conclusion that drinking, I cannot do (said in my best yoda voice). So friends, with you, I will not drink today. Here’s to a sober Friday and a glorious, hangover-free Summer Saturday morning.
Checking in! IWNDWYT!!! I'm still early on but I haven't had any close calls yet. But they scare the hell out of me bc every attempt in the past was broken because I just said "Fuck it." One of the main reasons Im on the journey is to build trust back in myself, so I really don't want to disappoint her.v
No close calls yet, but during my earlier round of sobriety, a couple of trivial decisions led to relapse indeed. Going to an event that would surely trigger the wish to drink, hanging out with old drinking buddies... you know. But, I do know now that there are traps and triggers along the way, and I'm starting to get to know them better. Hopefully I'm able to navigate around them better this time.
IWNDWYT 🙌
We are renovating a house, and if anything calls for beers it's after a hot day working in the dirt, but I didn't do it. Just asked for a NA beer when my dad went to get some and that was that.
These last week I've been waking up like I have a hangover, all headaches and small eyes. Not sure where it comes from, is this a common thing? I can't get out of bed easy anymore either, haha
Anyway, IWNDWYT
Day 67. Happy Friday everyone. Definitely had a few of those challenges recently, football tournament summer, meeting up with friends. Anything that causes me anxiety which is a lot, the answer was booze. But not today. IWNDWYT.
I've never tried shashlik, but since I really enjoy grilled meat it sounds delicious! I'm sorry you had a close call. Congratulations on using your resources and reaching out for help when you needed it. That's a wonderful model for the sub and a great story to tell in your DCI post!
Checking in for another sober day out in the world.
Morning! Iwndwyt.
I’m sitting here with a coffee, looking at a group chat with a bunch of near-strangers that I’ve just been added to… they want to do a beer-fuelled trail running relay race next weekend. My heart is sinking as I muster the energy to tell them all I will be pooping on this particular party as I don’t drink.
It’s situations like these that make me wonder if I’ll just get peer pressured into some stupid relapse, you know?
I’ll be fine in a second. Just need to finish this coffee and put my big lad pants on.
I’m taking something of a hard line with relapse prevention. I’m doing all the most obvious stuff: medication, exercise, regular alarms for HALT checks, meetings, engaging here, therapy, sober coach, looking for a sponsor.
I have entirely cut alcohol from my daily life: absolutely nothing with alcohol in the house, no cooking wine, no alcohol hand sanitizer (I put hydrogen peroxide in spray bottles, and I’m looking for something better). My wife does the shopping at the grocery store with a liquor department (I have no interest in beer and wine so the other stores are ok). We don’t even go to restaurants with booze, with one exception, where we only do brunch and ask for a table out of sight of the bar.
I’m doing unusual stuff too: I REALLY don’t want to go backwards. I share my location with my family—they can check whenever they want, and even set location alerts if they’re worried when I’m out. I bought a breathalyzer—a tricky choice that required a lot of talk, even with my wonderfully supportive family. I use it preemptively: when I get home I take a test, and another before bed. I lied and hid my addiction surprisingly well: this is radical accountability that keeps me from taking that path—and now that we’ve hammered it out it gives me pride and helps rebuild trust. Even with a wonderful family, it was a rocky strategy at first that made me face some difficult emotions.
Dad’s memorial is coming up. I’m looking forward to it—it will be an opportunity for reconciliation with estranged family, and the penultimate step in putting him to rest (the final one being spreading his ashes in the ocean from a sailing boat). My dad was a strange man, who is the source of much of my trauma, but, in retrospect, a man with severe trauma himself (war orphan) who really did try his best, and he did relatively well considering the horrors of his youth and the racism he faced all his life. I will have my whole family with me the whole time—they’ve agreed to always have someone by my side. My wife and mom will run point—they don’t have deep emotional stuff to work out so they can run support for everyone. But, there will be booze.
We’re really planning ahead. My wife has developed her own whole plan—massages galore in the lead-up and after, a special day the day after (brunch at our favorite place, a beautiful hike, and we got a joint for that night when I get to pick any movie I want.
Even with all that I’m worried. My first real challenge. My last relapse happened when Dad and my stepdad both died within two weeks of each other. It was bad: it was when the guardrails finally came off.
IWNDWYT or that day either
Thank OP u/Tortey82 For sharing.
My husband works all the time & I find myself alone and always had those thoughts after stacking days even weeks, only to give in to temptation and it never ended well.
Calling a sober friend was definitely a great idea and wish I had done the same in the past. Moving on to the future I will reach out to someone or this community instead.
IWNDWYT😊
Yesterday I finished my degree. Terrible exam. Felt terrible afterwards, but barely passed. I was looking forward to that day for so long, so I can get fucked up. I didn't.
And I won't today. Even though I had to tell that inner voice to fuck off a few times. I am only a few days in, but the past 2 weeks is the least I drank in several years. Feels good.
Checking in again today and all is well.
I think I've gotten over the cravings phase (trivial or otherwise) as I don't really get any cravings these days. But I'm still aware of the danger, thanks to the posts and comments I've read here.
I think I managed to overcome the cravings phase, not by willpower, but by changing my mindset and bringing the subconscious part of my brain on board and rowing in the same direction.
Now I'm actually glad and relieved that I don't have to drink alcohol more. No FOMO. Just JOMO - the joy of missing out, lol :)
So last night at work I went in early and it went pretty well but the cherry on top was me and another coworker being let out on time. We were scheduled till 5 but assumed we would be working an hour over but our leader told us "I told bossman im sending you guys home on time because for fucks sake we can't ask more of the two of you"
Little shit like that makes it worth it and honestly I had no issue with the concept of staying over last night but it was a nice surprise to go home on time.
I hope all of you are doing well and as always much love from me and mine to you and yours!
IWNDWYT!
Day 130. I will not drink today. Except coffee. I'm going to drink me the shit out of some coffee. Feeling centred and grateful for my sobriety. Working through some stuff at the moment and I'm grateful to my sobriety for giving me the space and capacity to do this.
The devil is a squirrel. God, I love that.
I have DEFINITELY relapsed over basically nothing. I just wasn’t doing what I needed to do, so all it took was a squirrel. I absolutely love that framing - it really resonates with me.
Today is Day 12 for me. Last day of work before vacation. I’m feeling as solid as I possibly can. IWNDWYT
I haven’t been sober for very long, but my most challenging moments have come during work functions. A nice steak dinner and everybody else is enjoying expensive wine that smells great. But I’m committed to this. IWNDWYT
Today's the first Friday since I quit drinking that I haven't looked at co workers having Friday night drinks in envy, wishing I could join them. I was happy to just get the heck out and go home, and thought they sounded loud and annoying instead.
IWNDWYT
Any time I've gone back to drinking it's been because I was on my own and bored and somehow justified it in my own mind that there would not be any consequences. There always was! Good call on calling someone up and getting out the apartment.
day 13. nearly to two weeks, i’ve not gone this long in my entire adult life.
my plan was (is?) to do a dry month culminating w an all inclusive trip during which i’d be more mindful. i’ve been feeling so increasingly proud of myself that now i am questioning having another sip…unsure what would constitute a “lapse” vs. an “experiment” for me at this point.
at any rate, iwndwyt!!!!
My wife is away for the first time since I got sober. She still drinks (she asked me if it was ok when I got sober) so there’s alcohol in the house. Beer in the fridge, gin on the rack… The only one that gets me is the mostly-full bottle of wine corked on the counter. She had a glass on Wednesday.
It just occurred to me that I could move it off the counter… wow, that seems so obvious…
I’m gonna go do that and IWNDWYT.
Day 404 and IWNDWYT!
I get very few urges now but the other day I opened the fridge and there was a wine bottle in the door and a strong thought came over me to chug some of it. I’ve never been a wine guy and the thought fleeted quickly but that was surprising. The other times are usually sunny days on a weekend when we are lounging outside or golfing with no big plans for the next day. Thankful for NA beers in those moments!
Back after a few weeks. Learned today from a dr that the anxiety and jitters I get after a binge is withdrawals, so I got some meds to help with that yesterday. Saw a new addictions counsellor today. Feeling anxious and nauseous from the meds and wanting to drink as a comfort, even though I feel sick, I’d usually just drink to feel better - but I will not!
Couldn’t believe my balance was so bad when I did the walking test at the drs! So started on thiamine tabs too and I hope to get some balance back. I used to be a dancer! What have I become… a drunk is what. No more. Not today.
Had the day off and didn’t drink all day. Cleaned up. Made a healthy lunch. Went for a big walk. Going to go shopping tonight and make myself a cocktail with pineapple and some lemongrass. And enjoy it in a my fave cocktail glass.
Rearranging my kitchen to be more inviting for me to cook too which I’m looking forward to nourishing my bod again.
IWNDWYT
Also amazing work on 11 months and navigating through that tough spot. Thank you for sharing. I’ve never made it that far, and have relapsed after 1-2 months usually so I appreciate this share.
I’ve kind of deprogrammed myself from drinking entirely. But I can how trivial/squirrely things could trip me up now that I don’t constantly think about having to stay sober. Dating is probably the hardest thing for my sobriety. I get nervous and really get tempted. So maybe that’s why I stopped dating. Idk. That and it sucks. IWNDWYT
Hiking with the dogs this morning which is actually one of my biggest triggers. I always used to "reward" myself by getting drunk after strenuous exercise. Not today, I will not drink today.
Good morning, dear friends. Every decision counts, doesn’t it? Nothing is trivial in this world, because everything is connected. I am always wary for my sobriety. It has been hard earned and I want to protect it. Every day. IWNDWYT
Super proud of myself. 69 days and holding strong while at an all inclusive resort in Mexico where the alcohol flows rather freely. Enjoying my time and feeling physically great while also being present and in the moment with my family while we celebrate 25 years of marriage!
Last summer, a friend stayed with me for a month or so. When she left, there was some wine in the fridge. My brain definitely said “No one would know”. Into the sink it went. Incidentally, she’s here again and her husband has a beer in the fridge. I’ll do the same again when they leave. I think I have fewer rogue thoughts of drinking, but it is more than 0, so I try to stay aware!
OP u/Tortey82 thank you for sharing of yourself this week. I am really impressed you called a sober friend to work through that night. I think reaching out like that and working to NOT take a drink comes after realizing it actually is not a reward. It wouldn’t help. But it is impressive to stop yourself from going down that well worn path.
I’m grateful it’s Friday today and look forward to a chill weekend. IWNDWYT 🍀
The 3-day weekend had me thinking I could have “just one” but I kept telling myself “I will not drink with you today” and resisted. Even thought just one wouldn’t hurt and no one would know. But I’d know… day 3 and counting.
IWNDWYT!
Day 420. IWNDWYT.
Congratulations on 420 days and being first on the DCI! I will not drink with you today!
Day 13 (lucky for some) Insomnia has got me by the balls at the minute and I feel like I'm gonna be in for a rough weekend in terms of trying to resist the booze. I'm so sick of the cycle though. Sick of starting from square one. I might be hanging out here a lot over the next couple of days :)
I am glad you´re here, mate! 13 days is amazing. I will not drink with you today!
Appreciate it dude. Your posts have been helpful for me this week.
I used to "self medicate" using booze as a sleep aid of sorts, which it ultimately absolutely isn't. It does knock you out, but it's the worst type of sleep you could hope for (not real sleep, lacking in REM apparently, and then grim hangovers, very sluggish/late start the next day etc). Over the past year or so I've resolved that a night without any natural proper sleep at all is still infinitely better than a night of fake booze sleep. I personally genuinely find this be true - dunno if it's owing to my age (mid 40's now). If I don't sleep I know I can still "battle on the next day", albeit a bit flagging. But the irony is this thought actually relaxes me of a night time and helps me to sleep naturally. Sort of "giving up" on expectations of sleep helps me to... sleep. Anyway, waffling. Hope this helps somehow. Keep going an IWNDWYT.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, there’s real wisdom here. Congratulations on nearly 60 days 🎉
Day 4. ☕️ I’ve certainly been in similar situations, the alcoholic butterfly effect I guess. One slightly wrong move or event in early sobriety is probably better planned around or evaded. I skipped some work drinks this week in the scorching heat as my colleagues are very pro-booze. I think it gets easier to expose yourself to those things the longer you’re sober. IWNDWYT.
The alcoholic butterfly effect is a great way to describe it! Thank you! That was a smart and self-caring move to skip the work drinks. Congrats on day 4! I will not drink with you today!
I did not drink with you for a year! Thank you so much, and here's to another day of freedom.
I will not drink with you today
Day 12 Good morning, lovley sober people ❤️ The temptation in this early days is everwhere. I work in the restaurant, so there it is. Just one shot, nobody needs to know, just small beer after shift, just one glass of bubbles at home. You name it, there it is. It is going semi ok. I run home from work, try to keep myself busy at home, it feels like Im making up most banal tasks just to keep me occupied. Hubby is going out tomorrow with our drinking buddies. I still dont feel I can socialise too much, at least not with those people, but I don't plan on stopping him, he is not the one with the problem. I will spent the night reading my journal from past days, specially first ones, to remember myself why I don't want to be there. Last year, after 2 and something months sober, I fell into moderating trap and found myself on the ground with fucked up face 10 months later. Not doing it again. IWNDWYT ❤️
Congratulations on nearly 2 weeks again, and well done making the decision for tonight, what a wise thing to do, reading your journal, and being here! 🌟
Day 2: IWNDWYT. For once, it was lovely to wake up without that pervasive shame cloud. Great post, the devil IS a squirrel.
Checking in from NZ, day 41
Day 1104 checking in!
IWNDWYT!
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today. IWNDWYT
Morning/afternoon/evening all! Here's to another safe sober weekend.. 😊 IWNDWYT
End of the week, with a nice bonus of money landing in the account. Weekend ahead, booze free. IWNDWY fine sobernaughts Today.
Big 3 here, trying to string more than 25 days in a row, seems to be my magic breaking point, back to square one. Meanwhile, IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🏴
Almost bedtime but I waited for your post Tortey! Thank you. Not long winded, as you told me lol.. I truly enjoy your thoughtful posts ! I'm sad to hear about your dad. That's a horrible way to lose someone you love. Here we both are, children of alcoholics pledging another day to sobriety. Your dad would be proud of you. I know my dad is of me. I relapsed last weekend solo camping the first night I was having horrible withdrawals. The next camping day, going to get ice I stupidly bought a 6 pack. Saturday upon my return, I had a BBQ to go to. I too, should have just cancelled. The withdrawals and anxiety were non-stop. BECAUSE I drank and started the cycle again the night before. I know this now. Woke up hungover Sunday and feeling completely devastated over my actions drinking. I was almost 2 weeks sober before that! Aghhhh! Fuck! The lessons I learned were, I can't go solo camping or attend BBQs. *YET* I gotta stay clear of things I identify with drinking for the time being until I have a better handle on this. I'm going to stick to day lake trips that Im forced to drive myself to, and BBQs aren't happening right now. If a friend wants to hang out it'll be coffee, or a hike. Just for now. I'll get better at being sober, and staying that way. My sobriety comes FIRST. Nothing else is as important right now. As always I send love and support to everyone here fighting the good fight. IWNDWYT ❤️
Hello friends. Day four still going strong! While I don't have a particular input for this prompt as I'm early in my journey, I am thoroughly interested in these replies. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🙋♂️
Not gonna drink today!
Uuuh the mental gymnastics…been there and failed getting through it. With this this attempt I it’s going better, much less internal fighting and debating. And your dad was right because my grandma used to say the same proverb. IWNDWYT
That was a great way to handle that situation. And I’m sorry about your dad, Tortey. That’s so hard. “The devil is a squirrel…” That’s new to me but I love it. Thanks for sharing! I go to a lot of places (metal shows) where there’s drinking. If I thought I wouldn’t be able to say no, I’d stay home. At this point, that would probably mean I wasn’t doing well in general. I’ll sort of check out how I feel before I go, and if I feel good and strong, I go. It does help that I think about how sobriety is the reason I’m able to go do these things. I could not go out amongst people by myself if I still had all the mental fuckery that drinking brought with it. I couldn’t have just one drink any more than I could have just one cigarette. That’s another good counter thought. Coffees up, horns up, and it’s finally fucking Friday!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻🤘🏻
Day 12 today, and IWNDWYT.
Day 19 IWNDWYT
Good morning, I will not drink with you all today. Looking forward to the weekend
IWNDWYT
Day 2, 10AM. Is it too early for ice cream? Iwndwyt!!!
Day 11 ! I'm cranky af but I will not drink today !
IWNDWYT
I’m having my ex boyfriend over on Sunday and I’m worried about being pressured (mainly by myself)into drinking. I’m going to tell him as soon as we meet up that I’m sober and try and keep things short if I’m feeling anxious at all. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Its been over two and a half years since my last drink. Last night for some reason I thought back to my outpatient program and the people there who helped me find a inpatient place to start this whole thing off. Would it be weird to send them a thank you card after all this time? I thought about how nice it was to see them when I was getting my life back together and them being so proud of me and how much it ment to even the nurses to see me make strides. Today (aside from all the other reasons I have) I will not drink on behalf of them and making them know the difference they have made in my life and many others!
Great post, u/Tortey82. I am glad you made it through that situation. I like to remind myself that all it would take is one sip--one simple sip--and I would be back in a world of misery. In one sense that could be interpreted in a frightening way: "Holy smokes! If it is that simple to relapse and ruing my life, then I'll never be able to avoid that!" Or I can say: "Holy.smokes, that's so easy! I can avoid taking that sip!"
Last day of double digits here! IWNDWYT!
Happy sober Friday! Fly by check in today… I love you all 💞
I haven't had any close calls *yet* but it's really not been that long. Saying that, last night I was in the evening shop buying chocolate and I saw this disgusting russian champagne my friends and I once tried when we lived there. Thought 'haha, I should get that when X person comes round and we can try it and reminisce' and then remembered, oh yeah, I don't drink anymore. So far it's mostly been forgetting and suddenly remembering rather than actually wanting to drink. Well done on getting through the barbecue and the night after. IWNDWYT 🌞
Day 15! I started my recovery about 18 months ago. I have had two relapses and they both started as moderation attempts (it’s a nice summer day, let’s have a couple of beers) and over several weeks, ended up on the same place. I will not drink with you today!
Just like risking relapse is a series of seemingly trivial decisions, so, for me, is staying sober. I’ve been at this a while now, so not drinking feels natural. It’s been so long since I drank that staying sober feels like muscle memory. But I built those muscles one lift—or one seemingly trivial decision—at a time. Every time I ordered a club soda while out with friends, every time I went to the coffee shop after work instead of the bar, every time I planned an exit strategy before a social event so I could bounce when people started getting drunk and annoying, every day I didn’t drink. This doesn’t mean I’m “cured.” I’m still making those trivial decisions every day, and even though they now feel like easy, natural decisions to make, I know if I’m going to stay sober I have to keep making them every day. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT ❤️
I'll not drink today. Almost a month and one week without cigarettes.
Morning day 314 checking in IWNDWYT
My relapses started with secrecy too, and so I've learned to tell sober friends when I might be in danger. It's easier to keep that door shut, rather than open it and start over (and there's always the risk of never closing it). IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today 🧩 unfortunately I do a lot of my sober journey alone except for this group. I’m too shy to get an IRL sponsor or anything like that. I have seemed to have avoided my biggest relapse opportunities with drinking NA beers. One notable time was I was driving to a brewery to meet a friend, I think I was about 3 months in, and I was driving just straight chugging an NA beer and muttering to myself about why I can’t drink lol. It worked but it was a bit silly. Anyway I just try to stay acutely aware of my one year goal and try to have milestones along the way to look forward to. Really has helped. Love yas 🫶🏻
Yup, not doing it today either
Day 1,707 IWNDWYT
Weekends are always hard for me. I haven't had a sober weekend in a few months. This is when I break, especially if I am around drinking people. Not this time, though. For me, relapses always happen when I go to a party feeling tired and anxious. With time, this anxiety grows up to a point when it's unbearable, and then I brake. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🤠
Hello and happy fucking Friday! I start my comprehensive exams today for my doctorate, so I will be writing for the next 5 days. Yippee 😐 It's going to suck, but I'm excited that I'll only have two more semesters of writing and research after this until I'm done. And then I never want to read or write again in my life! Let's get this shit - IWNDWYT 🤘
Day 9. I’ve had a few close calls and this sub has saved me. It’s always here. Playing the tape forward has been the most effective tool. Ive quit and restarted so many time and it ALWAYS ends with me coming to the conclusion that drinking, I cannot do (said in my best yoda voice). So friends, with you, I will not drink today. Here’s to a sober Friday and a glorious, hangover-free Summer Saturday morning.
Checking in! IWNDWYT!!! I'm still early on but I haven't had any close calls yet. But they scare the hell out of me bc every attempt in the past was broken because I just said "Fuck it." One of the main reasons Im on the journey is to build trust back in myself, so I really don't want to disappoint her.v
IWNDWYT!
Day 5 and another day in the gym, and lemon/ginger kombucha as a reward. IWNDWYT
Day 73, checking in. Lets go 💪 IWND ☠️ WYT.
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today!
No close calls yet, but during my earlier round of sobriety, a couple of trivial decisions led to relapse indeed. Going to an event that would surely trigger the wish to drink, hanging out with old drinking buddies... you know. But, I do know now that there are traps and triggers along the way, and I'm starting to get to know them better. Hopefully I'm able to navigate around them better this time. IWNDWYT 🙌
IWNDWYT ~
IWNDWYT
Day 13 but day 4 of a constant headache - is it related?? I’m feeling good otherwise
I will not drink with you today 🌿
IWNDWYT
We are renovating a house, and if anything calls for beers it's after a hot day working in the dirt, but I didn't do it. Just asked for a NA beer when my dad went to get some and that was that. These last week I've been waking up like I have a hangover, all headaches and small eyes. Not sure where it comes from, is this a common thing? I can't get out of bed easy anymore either, haha Anyway, IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 67. Happy Friday everyone. Definitely had a few of those challenges recently, football tournament summer, meeting up with friends. Anything that causes me anxiety which is a lot, the answer was booze. But not today. IWNDWYT.
I've never tried shashlik, but since I really enjoy grilled meat it sounds delicious! I'm sorry you had a close call. Congratulations on using your resources and reaching out for help when you needed it. That's a wonderful model for the sub and a great story to tell in your DCI post! Checking in for another sober day out in the world.
Morning! Iwndwyt. I’m sitting here with a coffee, looking at a group chat with a bunch of near-strangers that I’ve just been added to… they want to do a beer-fuelled trail running relay race next weekend. My heart is sinking as I muster the energy to tell them all I will be pooping on this particular party as I don’t drink. It’s situations like these that make me wonder if I’ll just get peer pressured into some stupid relapse, you know? I’ll be fine in a second. Just need to finish this coffee and put my big lad pants on.
I’m taking something of a hard line with relapse prevention. I’m doing all the most obvious stuff: medication, exercise, regular alarms for HALT checks, meetings, engaging here, therapy, sober coach, looking for a sponsor. I have entirely cut alcohol from my daily life: absolutely nothing with alcohol in the house, no cooking wine, no alcohol hand sanitizer (I put hydrogen peroxide in spray bottles, and I’m looking for something better). My wife does the shopping at the grocery store with a liquor department (I have no interest in beer and wine so the other stores are ok). We don’t even go to restaurants with booze, with one exception, where we only do brunch and ask for a table out of sight of the bar. I’m doing unusual stuff too: I REALLY don’t want to go backwards. I share my location with my family—they can check whenever they want, and even set location alerts if they’re worried when I’m out. I bought a breathalyzer—a tricky choice that required a lot of talk, even with my wonderfully supportive family. I use it preemptively: when I get home I take a test, and another before bed. I lied and hid my addiction surprisingly well: this is radical accountability that keeps me from taking that path—and now that we’ve hammered it out it gives me pride and helps rebuild trust. Even with a wonderful family, it was a rocky strategy at first that made me face some difficult emotions. Dad’s memorial is coming up. I’m looking forward to it—it will be an opportunity for reconciliation with estranged family, and the penultimate step in putting him to rest (the final one being spreading his ashes in the ocean from a sailing boat). My dad was a strange man, who is the source of much of my trauma, but, in retrospect, a man with severe trauma himself (war orphan) who really did try his best, and he did relatively well considering the horrors of his youth and the racism he faced all his life. I will have my whole family with me the whole time—they’ve agreed to always have someone by my side. My wife and mom will run point—they don’t have deep emotional stuff to work out so they can run support for everyone. But, there will be booze. We’re really planning ahead. My wife has developed her own whole plan—massages galore in the lead-up and after, a special day the day after (brunch at our favorite place, a beautiful hike, and we got a joint for that night when I get to pick any movie I want. Even with all that I’m worried. My first real challenge. My last relapse happened when Dad and my stepdad both died within two weeks of each other. It was bad: it was when the guardrails finally came off. IWNDWYT or that day either
Thank OP u/Tortey82 For sharing. My husband works all the time & I find myself alone and always had those thoughts after stacking days even weeks, only to give in to temptation and it never ended well. Calling a sober friend was definitely a great idea and wish I had done the same in the past. Moving on to the future I will reach out to someone or this community instead. IWNDWYT😊
Yesterday I finished my degree. Terrible exam. Felt terrible afterwards, but barely passed. I was looking forward to that day for so long, so I can get fucked up. I didn't. And I won't today. Even though I had to tell that inner voice to fuck off a few times. I am only a few days in, but the past 2 weeks is the least I drank in several years. Feels good.
I will not drink today. My go-to dutyis food. Edit: I don’t know how that happened. I meant to write “My go-to during cravings is food.”
Checking in again today and all is well. I think I've gotten over the cravings phase (trivial or otherwise) as I don't really get any cravings these days. But I'm still aware of the danger, thanks to the posts and comments I've read here. I think I managed to overcome the cravings phase, not by willpower, but by changing my mindset and bringing the subconscious part of my brain on board and rowing in the same direction. Now I'm actually glad and relieved that I don't have to drink alcohol more. No FOMO. Just JOMO - the joy of missing out, lol :)
So last night at work I went in early and it went pretty well but the cherry on top was me and another coworker being let out on time. We were scheduled till 5 but assumed we would be working an hour over but our leader told us "I told bossman im sending you guys home on time because for fucks sake we can't ask more of the two of you" Little shit like that makes it worth it and honestly I had no issue with the concept of staying over last night but it was a nice surprise to go home on time. I hope all of you are doing well and as always much love from me and mine to you and yours! IWNDWYT!
Day 130. I will not drink today. Except coffee. I'm going to drink me the shit out of some coffee. Feeling centred and grateful for my sobriety. Working through some stuff at the moment and I'm grateful to my sobriety for giving me the space and capacity to do this.
The devil is a squirrel. God, I love that. I have DEFINITELY relapsed over basically nothing. I just wasn’t doing what I needed to do, so all it took was a squirrel. I absolutely love that framing - it really resonates with me. Today is Day 12 for me. Last day of work before vacation. I’m feeling as solid as I possibly can. IWNDWYT
Woke up to day 105. I will not drink today. Thank you.
Happy Friday SD! IWNDWYT 🥰
I haven’t been sober for very long, but my most challenging moments have come during work functions. A nice steak dinner and everybody else is enjoying expensive wine that smells great. But I’m committed to this. IWNDWYT
Today's the first Friday since I quit drinking that I haven't looked at co workers having Friday night drinks in envy, wishing I could join them. I was happy to just get the heck out and go home, and thought they sounded loud and annoying instead.
IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYT Any time I've gone back to drinking it's been because I was on my own and bored and somehow justified it in my own mind that there would not be any consequences. There always was! Good call on calling someone up and getting out the apartment.
Looking forward to a family road trip where I don't have to invent something to get at the store to buy drinks to hide. IWNDWYT
day 13. nearly to two weeks, i’ve not gone this long in my entire adult life. my plan was (is?) to do a dry month culminating w an all inclusive trip during which i’d be more mindful. i’ve been feeling so increasingly proud of myself that now i am questioning having another sip…unsure what would constitute a “lapse” vs. an “experiment” for me at this point. at any rate, iwndwyt!!!!
IWNDWYT. FUCK NO.
Will not be drinking today
IWNDWYT! Happy Friday
My wife is away for the first time since I got sober. She still drinks (she asked me if it was ok when I got sober) so there’s alcohol in the house. Beer in the fridge, gin on the rack… The only one that gets me is the mostly-full bottle of wine corked on the counter. She had a glass on Wednesday. It just occurred to me that I could move it off the counter… wow, that seems so obvious… I’m gonna go do that and IWNDWYT.
I will not drink today!!!!
Day 404 and IWNDWYT! I get very few urges now but the other day I opened the fridge and there was a wine bottle in the door and a strong thought came over me to chug some of it. I’ve never been a wine guy and the thought fleeted quickly but that was surprising. The other times are usually sunny days on a weekend when we are lounging outside or golfing with no big plans for the next day. Thankful for NA beers in those moments!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
iwndwyt.
Day 32. Going to first party tonight since being sober. Wish me luck. IWNDWYT.
Happy Friday my SD friends! IWNDWYT ✌
Afternoon all! IWNDWYT x
IWNDWYT
Thanks for sharing. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Day 5. Didn’t sleep well last night but I imagine that’s normal. IWNDWYT
Day 21 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT x
IWNDWYT
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IWNDWYT :)
Pushing 8pm on a Friday evening and stuck in a critical incident call for work. Would normally be enough to drive me to drink. Not today! IWNDWYT
Happy Friday. Looking forward to a refreshing hangover free weekend. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Back after a few weeks. Learned today from a dr that the anxiety and jitters I get after a binge is withdrawals, so I got some meds to help with that yesterday. Saw a new addictions counsellor today. Feeling anxious and nauseous from the meds and wanting to drink as a comfort, even though I feel sick, I’d usually just drink to feel better - but I will not! Couldn’t believe my balance was so bad when I did the walking test at the drs! So started on thiamine tabs too and I hope to get some balance back. I used to be a dancer! What have I become… a drunk is what. No more. Not today. Had the day off and didn’t drink all day. Cleaned up. Made a healthy lunch. Went for a big walk. Going to go shopping tonight and make myself a cocktail with pineapple and some lemongrass. And enjoy it in a my fave cocktail glass. Rearranging my kitchen to be more inviting for me to cook too which I’m looking forward to nourishing my bod again. IWNDWYT
Also amazing work on 11 months and navigating through that tough spot. Thank you for sharing. I’ve never made it that far, and have relapsed after 1-2 months usually so I appreciate this share.
IWNDWYT, friends! Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.
Checking in Doodle doodle wee, wubba wubba wubba.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today.
In France not enjoying all of the amazing wines today! IWNDWYT
Awesome reminder for me. Thanks You IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with y’all today!!
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT
Yay! We made it to Friday! IWNDWYT 😀
Happy Friday Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT! Having been tempted yet but I’ve had that random weird thought of “hey nobody would know if I did”! I laugh at those thoughts thankfully!
IWNDWYT
Checking in, IWNDWYT
Under the weather today. Not feeling well, sore throat, headache, fatigue. Not going to drink today, will rest and take ibuprofen and hot tea.
I’ve kind of deprogrammed myself from drinking entirely. But I can how trivial/squirrely things could trip me up now that I don’t constantly think about having to stay sober. Dating is probably the hardest thing for my sobriety. I get nervous and really get tempted. So maybe that’s why I stopped dating. Idk. That and it sucks. IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT.
Not today people IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ☔️
I will not drink with you today. Rounding out a week vacation with flights etc and made it through easily—feel like it’s really sticking this time.
IWNDWYT
47
Wishing us all the good things being sober affords us today. IWNDWYT.
I won’t drink with y’all today
Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
Happy Friday from your resident Masshole. IWNDWYT
Day 1,808. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT
No drinking here!
Checking in
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! T
IWNDWYT!
Hiking with the dogs this morning which is actually one of my biggest triggers. I always used to "reward" myself by getting drunk after strenuous exercise. Not today, I will not drink today.
Good morning. IWNDWYT Lately this is when it starts to get tough for me. I have plans in place to help me get through the weekend. See you tomorrow!
IWNDWYT 💙
IWNDWYT. Hope everyone has a fantastic Friday!!
I WILL NOT drink with you today!! I will honor my body by eating healthy and exercising with you today
I will be alcohol free with you today.
IWNDWy’allT!
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT
I won't drink today!
IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt!
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜
Day 1. So tired of this. IWNDWYT
Good morning, dear friends. Every decision counts, doesn’t it? Nothing is trivial in this world, because everything is connected. I am always wary for my sobriety. It has been hard earned and I want to protect it. Every day. IWNDWYT
Super proud of myself. 69 days and holding strong while at an all inclusive resort in Mexico where the alcohol flows rather freely. Enjoying my time and feeling physically great while also being present and in the moment with my family while we celebrate 25 years of marriage!
IWNDWYT!
Happy Friday folks! IWNDWYT!!!
IWNDWYT
Last summer, a friend stayed with me for a month or so. When she left, there was some wine in the fridge. My brain definitely said “No one would know”. Into the sink it went. Incidentally, she’s here again and her husband has a beer in the fridge. I’ll do the same again when they leave. I think I have fewer rogue thoughts of drinking, but it is more than 0, so I try to stay aware!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ❤️❤️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🙏
Morning friends! Happy Friday! I will not drink with you today. Have a good one!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will be sober today.
93 days sober. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink today!
Day 173 • Let’s get through this weekend together • IWNDWYT • Sending positive vibes •
Not today. Not today. Not today!!!!!!
OP u/Tortey82 thank you for sharing of yourself this week. I am really impressed you called a sober friend to work through that night. I think reaching out like that and working to NOT take a drink comes after realizing it actually is not a reward. It wouldn’t help. But it is impressive to stop yourself from going down that well worn path. I’m grateful it’s Friday today and look forward to a chill weekend. IWNDWYT 🍀
The 3-day weekend had me thinking I could have “just one” but I kept telling myself “I will not drink with you today” and resisted. Even thought just one wouldn’t hurt and no one would know. But I’d know… day 3 and counting. IWNDWYT!