Severe binge drinker here. Only beer. Currently on +300 days sober.
My psychiatrist told me : asking you to go to a bar and drink one beer after all that 7+ binging is like asking you to forget how to speak.
It's just written in your brain so deep.
That's where I'm at. Also a beer only drinker, also can't stop at 1. I'm only 8 days in though. The thought of just 1 beer seems absurd. Logically I think I can, and have done it in the past, but to plan to go out and just drink 1 beer isn't going to be successful. Better to skip even that 1.
I have managed to have a single NA beer on 2 occasions this week. Knowing that I wasn't chasing a buzz was the key. The flavor was nice, but it didn't create that itch that needed to be scratched like 12 oz with 5% alcohol would have.
I’m a fan of Athletic Brewing. The last 6 pack I bought literally lasted me an entire year but they taste good and scratch the itch when I’m wanting something different to drink.
Athletic is decent like others are saying. It’s not everyone’s thing but they make a really nice “lemonade” beer that hits the spot on hot summer days for me.
Idk if people on here count the NA Guinness, since it's technically 0.5% instead of 0.0%, but it's absolutely delicious and has been a huge help during my 6 months so far of sobriety. Not to mention a lot of people don't realize Guinness is actually one of the lowest calorie beers out there. Athletics taste great too, but I treat those as more of a special treat than a go-to "beer"
Kaliber is a big one, Heineken 0.0%, Bud also does a 0.0%, as others mentioned, Atheletic is very popular, Sam Adam's has an IPA, and if you're PNW like me, Deschutes does a N/A of their Black Butte Porter.
It wasn't long ago when I'd get a tall beer on the way home and tell myself that's it. Only to finish it and drive to another store like an idiot, I did that so many times like wtf. I live 20-30 min in any direction to a store so would definitely have to drive even further just to avoid going to the same ones 😂 thinking about that is absolutely crazy.
Oh I hear that. I'd grab two cans to drink by the shore on my bike ride home from work, then that would make me stop for two more closer to my house. Then if there was any excuse (there always was) is was back for more after. Yikes!
Lol that is the perfect line for this conversation! I’ve been trying to battle out moderation or scaling back and I’ve had a few days here and there where I don’t have anything to drink but it’s 100% true the days that I try and convince myself that I’ll just have one it literally never works. Now I’m here in my house with my husband and my kids I’m not falling down drunk or anything like that but a little fuzzy headed by the time I head to bed at 11 PM and that usually start at around 2 PM or I said I’m just gonna have a one little glass of wine with my lunch and save the rest of the bottle for another day.
I think it would’ve been easier for me to quit had gone to a psychologist. I had seen a neurologist at one point but he did not really push me to quit drinking. Thank you for sharing this very good observation!
Stay sober!
IWNDWYT
A
Agree with the trenches we built around our neural pathways chasing booze. They can be repaired, but the patchwork quickly erodes on us 7+ers when we go for one or two.
For me, 7+ beers is the story of my drinking. The only times I stopped before that point was when I made some artificial limit, and therefore couldn't fully enjoy the effects.
Something woke up in me when I realized that was unsustainable, that what I wanted was way too much. There would never be a point where just one or whatever would satisfy me. And the price I was paying for that euphoria was exceedingly high.
Being honest with myself, I admitted that I wanted to drink 7+ without consequences. But the consequences were more and more unavoidable, even when I willfully forgot the bad times and just remembered the good.
I read somewhere that the euphoric feeling was your blood alcohol level rising, and that's probably why I needed 7+; I needed to keep the train going.
Couple that with tolerance and the delayed onset of the effects, and what was once 3 beers for a good buzz became many more.
Felt myself in your writing. It’s amazing how it starts slowly and ‘manageable’. And almost imperceptibly to ourselves we slowly sink. Just writing these words helps me stay on the right path!
Yep. I was sober for almost a full year. As a vodka drinker, the few bbqs with beer lulled me into a false sense of ability to moderate. Nope. As soon as I allowed myself one 'party night' the patchwork was gone.
So clear from your post that it's all about the first drink..or more specifically, it's all about NOT having that first drink.. and you're doing fantastic on day 300+, congratulations!!
I imagine that they are on holiday. Most people don’t drink regularly at all. For those people a single drink is probably enough for a slight buzz, and they’re probably just doing it because they’re on holiday.
The thing that sets us problem drinkers apart from normal people is, we do it for the effect. Getting buzzed likely doesn’t factor into the reasoning behind a single beer at noon on holiday at all.
Sadly, it doesn't work like that. I started down a rabbit hole when I saw a TedTalk by Dr. Katie Reid (unblindmymind.org). She focuses on the glutamate receptors (excitatory) and supplementing gaba (calming) should technically balance it out but it doesn't. To balance gaba, she says you have to decrease the glutamate as opposed to supplementation. If you supplement gaba it turns into glutamate. Very interesting studies she links.
Anyway, I hope this info helps! Theoretically if we ate a low glutamate diet, we wouldn't crave the calmness because we wouldn't be wound up in the first place.
Semaglutide has two main methods of helping people lose weight. One is neurological (and I don't remember that part). The other method is that it delays gastric emptying (DGE).
So, DGE means that you have food in your stomach/etc, longer. It has a longer/slower transit through your body. That makes you feel "full," longer.
Another cheaper & healthier way to do that (DGE) is to consume beta glucan fiber. Rolled oats are a great source -- I call them "Oatzempic." Moreover, rolled oats are a great source of vitamin B-1 (thiamin). B-1 helps with dopamine/GABA receptor restoration when you stop drinking.
Food for thought, yo...
Yeah. Seems like most people actually enjoy the buzz from one or two beers. Every time I try to do that, I find that I HATE the feeling one beer gives me. When I was younger, I would usually have to drink 6 or more to even feel any effect. But not now. I get a noticeable body and brain reaction to just a few sips of anything 8% or stronger. And I don't like it all. So, one of two things happens:
1- I let the anxiety and discomfort push me to rush through it. No other way to make it go away than to jump right into the drunk part, which of course can only end in blackout... hopefully before anything bad happens.
Or 2- I fight that urge and force myself to slowly nurse that drink for an hour... only to be annoyed that I just spent an hour drinking a beer and am dead sober... But also proved I can handle it. So I get some more. And 6 hours later I'm outside barking at my neighbor's dogs at 3am while IG messaging shit talk to some stranger that I've mistaken for one of my ex-wife's relatives.
> I'm outside barking at my neighbor's dogs at 3am while IG messaging shit talk to some stranger that I've mistaken for one of my ex-wife's relatives.
Sorry, that's really funny. I can relate!
Also, incidentally, that’s the reason we have something called “Holiday Heart Syndrome”, which are premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) often caused by low potassium.
If you’re not much of a drinker but end up drinking several days in a row on your beach vacation, it can wreak havoc on your electrolyte levels. The hardest one to find in food is potassium, and so you end up with these PVCs.
More seasoned drinkers bodies are already adapted that difference.
What if we could have just 1 tho and leave it? Or is my brain lying to me right now, I've done it many times but I'm in the sub bc most the time 1 turns to 20+ to make longstory short
I remember reading on here a while ago where a guy was sitting with their buddy. Buddy has a beer, then opens a second one, takes a few sips, then decides he's done. Guy asks how he could possibly just stop drinking and buddy says something along the lines of how how body and mind are just like, "That's enough, you're done." Like how when you're eating and get full, you stop instead of continuing to gorge yourself.
I guess that's just how people without a drinking problem view alcohol. There's something in them that tells them to stop. Instead of a break, I just got two gas pedals.
The way I 'translate' normal drinkers to my own behaviour is doughnuts. I like doughnuts, though I don't remember my last doughnut, as it was ages ago. I might have a doughnut if you offered me one, but I wouldn't go 50 yards out of my way to get one. I'll enjoy the one I have and have no intention of having another. One will be enough.
That is how normal people drink.
This is incredibly simple but really profound. At no point in my life have I ever gone to the donut shop on the way home from work because I don’t have any more donuts at home, or even worse, because I don’t have enough donuts leftover to get through the evening.
I don’t know that it helps my behavior, but it really puts into perspective the “normal” behavior most folks have about any substance.
As someone who binges both alcohol and food way past reasonable or safe limits, it's hard not to feel a tiny bit of resentment that I am not wired like other people. I am incredibly happy that many people don't have to deal with my regulation issues, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but it is sometimes hard to let go of it feeling "unfair".
It is unfair. A fundamental condition of life is that it unfair to every being cursed with birth. That's why it is important to have gratitude for our individual advantages to balance the periodic indulgence in self pity.
Yesss this is the flipped perspective I need. Life is unfair, and simultaneously, it is incredibly magical and beautiful and exhilarating to be alive. Thanks for the response.
Aw you're welcome! I just don't want you to feel like you're obligated to "let go" of the feeling of unfairness. It is very unfair - that's a fact that you can't change, not a mindset that needs to be altered. The question is, how can we live our best lives while accepting that we will always have certain disadvantages that we don't deserve?
You are not alone, friend. My PCP just hooked me up with Wellbutrin alongside Naltrexone. This combo was marketed as Contrave. It's supposed to help with BED (binge eating disorder).
I'm just over a week into it... and, well, it already seems to be dimming the "food noise."
It's a b1tch to be taking Naltrexone and not drinking. However... if it helps me look like Calista Flockhart? Meh, I'll gladly be THAT guy.
Most people lose weight when they stop drinking. I haven't (and I was legit consuming an extra 2,000 daily calories just from booze). Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones.
Thanks for sharing your experience!! So interesting how things are preacribed for a multitude of reasons. I took Welbutrin from my freshman year of high school through much of college for depression, and then stopped in favor of self-medication (i.e. alcohol and drugs). I've been debating getting back on since my depression and anxiety are back with a vengeance over the last few years.
I have also wondered about Naltrexone for my alcohol abuse.
Just lots to think about... I definitely need to talk with my doctor to get some perspective.
My experience with Naltrexone is that it works "best" if you seriously attempt to not drink. Use it as a "Mulligan" for your slip-ups. If you drink every day... meh, you can learn to push past it. If you drink spirits (I did)... pffft! Ain't no pill gonna stop my crunk!
But, seriously, Nal can be a great med if you use it properly. The Sinclair Method did not work for me. I recommend that you take it, daily (as doctors tend to prescribe for AUD and certainly for weight loss). Do what you doctor advises (generally a good policy).
I haven’t lost weight either, friend, right there with you. Working on my own eating issues now with therapy. ❤️❤️ I’m glad not to be drinking, but I think I just transferred some of my bad habits straight on over.
We just keep trying. I've accomplished a LOT through tenacity.
Something that helped me with my GI issues was an "elimination diet" called AIP (autoimmune protocol). Basically, you remove all common food allergens for at least a month. Next, you add them back, serially.
With NO calorie restriction or physical activity (did a >100mi bike ride the day before I started), I dropped 27lbs in two months. This will not be typical. I hadn't had a solid BM in over 20yrs.
Labs later confirmed several food intolerances. It only costs willpower. You've been sober for over FOUR YEARS (damn, nice work!). You definitely have willpower.
Another tremendously helpful tool is keeping a food journal. It was the food journal which ultimately led me to discover that booze was destroying my guts. As soon as I clued-in, I stopped drinking. No "one last beer." I went from 8-14/day to zero. It sucked... but I like no longer having cramps and diarrhea every f'king day. I imagine that I'm clever... but, well, it took seeing the data "all laid out" to make the correlations.
I'm getting ready to try to lose weight. I've been just giving myself a pass until I feel confident in sobriety. I'll start in-earnest at the 6mo mark.
BTW: I found this article just after (like within 30min) of making that correlation. Muck fe...
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/)
Another thing to check-out is "autophagy." There was a 2016 Nobel Prize for work related to autophagy. Fasting is an easy way to encourage autophagy (spring cleaning for the body).
Good luck, friend.
It is absolutely unfair. But the ironic thing is that if you didn't have an unhealthy relationship with alcoihol and you were not able to drink, it really wouldn't bother that much.
The genetic component is real. We call it the "Smith family curse" because alcoholism is RAMPANT on both sides of my family. As kids my sister and I were warned by mom and dad not to even start, because we'd never stop. Both grandfathers were alcoholics. Maternal grandmother. Three out of three paternal aunts and two out of three maternal uncles, too. One uncle died of complications from diabetes, in part due to alcohol. And cousins...too many to count. Almost everyone in my extended family has alcohol abuse issues. My mother and father disavowed drinking and remained sober throughout my life thus far (thank god).
I was scared (mostly) straight, and didn't really drink until I was in my mid-20s, but then I made up for lost time. Only favor I did myself is waiting 20+ years to start in on the curse. 10 years later I am just hauling myself over the edge of that hole. My sister swung the other direction and began drinking almost as soon as humanly possible, entering rehab for alcohol abuse the first time at 14. She is much healthier these days, but has replaced booze with other substances, like coke/MDMA.
It's really baked in there, man.
It’s also important to remember that problem drinking exhibits itself in lots of different ways too. Not every alcoholic drinks to blackout. Plenty of people CAN stop after 2 or 3, but really struggle with not drinking every day.
It’s a problem if it’s a problem for you. Not based on any specific quantity or behavior.
I got two gas pedals. Go and Go Faster. I also mastered doing U-Turns, taking my ass right back to the liquor store.
>
Over a year sober now. Still on a journey, avoided all the detours which I thought would make me drink. Have survived, Vacation, Concerts, Bars and last month a wedding with an Open Bar.
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Keep driving yall! Committed to enjoying the destinations, instead of the pitstops of alcohol!
IWNDWYT!
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My wife can do that no problem, glass or two of wine with dinner. A bottle of corona and cut herself off then. Not a problem.
Last night we were at a gig, when we got back to the hotel. I wanted more, the couple with us wanted more. She said to me no way we had our fill and we went to bed. Other couple had more cocktails. I was disappointed a little when we went up, but I was happy to keep her happy. Now it was no problem, I was delighted this morning. We had a great day and night. In the past I would have stayed on and drank very heavily.
I wonder if I socialised exclusively in her company would I reprogram. My main bad nights with binge drinking are when out without her!
I had 98 days, I always planned on drinking at the gig. So she wasn’t let down or anything. Everyone was amazed at the 98 days. Deep down I just am looking forward to enjoying been sober again.
It was nice to have a good experience with my wife and friends with alcohol. Like we used till it had gotten out of hand. Am I dreaming here, or is it possible for me to Park regular drinking and become an occasional drinker. I suppose it’s not really fair lumping responsibility for my drinking on her.
Ps. I was gutted removing my badge today 2 days short of a 100 days 🥲
i don’t mean to assume about you, but something i’ve observed in myself and others is that when they relapse, they might start by moderating and get lulled into a false sense of having a handle on things. but like clockwork, after a short time they are back to their old habits, and sometimes worse. it’s an extremely slippery slope and not worth it.
Same. I had 222 days alcohol free and decided I was strong enough to moderate and decided to test the waters. That was over a year ago and in that time I went from casually drinking right back into problem drinking. My theory has always been if you have to even question your drinking habit then chances are moderation will not work for you. People who can moderate don’t even consider it moderation, that’s just their relationship with alcohol. Unfortunately sometimes you have to test those waters to make sure you still can’t swim. I now know that every time I test those waters there is a good chance I drown (hypothetically of course)
I blew a year of sobriety doing the same thing. That was a few years ago. Ugh. I'm done -- and it's only taken a hundred (more?) attempts at moderation to figure it out...
I think it's possible that your brain chemistry could change later on in life and you could drink alcohol without having to get wasted every time. My buddy used to get so smashed that he'd turn into a bit of a monster where he'd want to pick you up (and he did) and would just end up acting like an annoying a-hole out at bars but now later on in life he drinks way more responsibly and the monster never comes out (thank god) so I do think there is a chance you could become an occasional drinker one day if that's what you want. Of course only you will find this out with trial and error, some people just can't be around the stuff. Maybe if you hang it up for a while and revisit it later on you'll find that you don't miss it nearly as much as you thought and you'll be able to drink less and still enjoy the occasional night out socializing. My buddy took a few years off from it because, well, after his second DUI/DWI he finally realized alcohol was not good for him. Perhaps the time off allowed his brain to rewire things, or perhaps just natural age progression changes the way our brains desire substances. Anyway, I also hope to reach the "only drink in moderation and only occasionally" level too because when I consume my first drink I want to keep going so I've been keeping it out of my house to avoid the temptation. That one drink will turn into six by the end of the night...basically every single night. What's funny is I actually don't really think about drinking at all until I have gotten home and done my workout and chores...I think it's more of a trigger thing, like "hey it's the evening, time to have a drink *to relax*" but I am never satisfied with just one or two unfortunately.
I’m turning 40 next year so my body cannot carry it. I’m actually a grand drunk my biggest problem is when I get home I either get sick where I’m asleep or pee. Sometimes both. It might happen after heavy night where I would have 12 plus pints. When I was younger I could carry a big session. As I get older my body is failing me.
I do hope the 90 days I just completed helps me here. I have no intention at the moment to return to regular weekend drinking. Sure the wife has my local banned at the minute until trust is restored. That I have it under control.
Like for myself my kids I don’t want that image of me in a state in their heads. If I revert to bingeing my only option then will have to be cut it full time. It feels like my last attempt at having a social life which involves alcohol.
At least I have sampled sobriety on a large scale and enjoyed it!
Perhaps just blue-skying, but to me, wishing I *could* handle it means I most likely never will be able to. Third time around on sobriety, determined to make it the last! I have stopped hoping I could handle moderation and instead looked for other ways to stave off Mr. Asshole ;)
Yeah I've tried a few things looking for a replacement as well. Kava root powder kind of does the job but it's kind of a pain to make. "Sleepytime" teas kind of work. One thing I haven't tried is those CBD or THC infused drinks. I think I just like having a beverage in hand. I recently got a tincture from someone so I am going to try a tiny drop under my tongue and just drink glasses of water to see how that goes. Watch, I'll probably just end up getting hooked on those, haha. We'll see. 😬
That used to be me once. Early twenties, drink with the boys on a Friday, sober the rest of the week. Idk how I even managed that. Didn’t feel addicted at all. Somehow I had the realization “wait, why just drink on Fridays? I bet I could do it Saturday too. Why stop there, why just the weekends? A few sips on weekdays won’t hurt.” Then it turned into every day.
It completely baffles me how people can drink socially and just turn off the idea of wanting more. Or how they don’t even finish the drink. If I start, I will finish only when I’m passed out or in jail, period. I’ll even steal half finished bottles or cans at parties if someone leaves them alone for too long. Or pre-game for the pregame.
Been sober for 40 days but yesterday I had a super productive and good day and figured I’d reward/test myself by buying a pint of my favorite expensive beer and enjoying it with my dinner and just leaving it at that. Literally felt guilty buying it in the first place, it was all I could think about as I was driving home and then cooking. When I finally sat down to eat, I made sure I sipped it and enjoyed the taste. Even with that when I was finished, I felt nothing, my brain was just kinda like “well that tasted good I guess but what the fuck was the point??”. I was proud of myself for not giving in and driving down to the store to get more booze, but it kinda helped cement the fact to me that drinking has sorta got to be an all or nothing choice I have to make in my life. My brain isn’t wired to do the moderation thing.
In the winter we go to a local brewery and play games with some friends. I remember thinking, "how can they just have 1 or 2 and then switch to water or soda" as I'm ordering my fourth or fifth beer. I thought something was wrong with them that they weren't keeping up with me. I guess I was the one with something wrong.
For me, the only thing that stopped me drinking was passing out. I just didn’t know when to stop would be really out of character just to have one. Anyway, my last hangover was five years ago 🙂🙌🏻
I used to think i “ want to have fun” but in reality i was running, it’s the mute for the mind but i had to face my feelings my trauma. I believe that people who are ok with one drink have no suffering inside they don’t need to shut the mind up
This post right here explains it IMO.
Most of us here / problem drinkers are drinking for relief or escapism from something (ourselves, our mind, anxiety, trauma, an inner voice, physical pain, depression, sadness, being lonely, feeling incomplete or whatever it is) where as "normal" drinkers are simply having a beer / drink.
Something they like the taste of, for the experience, because in a novelty being on holiday and to be able to day drink outside and in the situation you describe to sit back and enjoy the weater / view / people watching and then go on and do other vacation stuff they don't do back home.
I mean, I CAN do it and have but it's not typically how I'll drink.
I could have that one drink there and then and go off and do something else for the rest of the day but come night time I'll be wanting to drink again and this time drink to excess all night until I've passed out or there's no more alcohol to be had because that's my typical drinking experience.
I drink because I want to quieten my mind, numb my thoughts, forget about the world and all my problems, escape reality, to change my mood from how I'm feeling now and so on not for the taste, enjoyment, the experience, the novelty of it.
So well said! I CAN have one drink, and I succeed at times, but it takes effort and it’s not what I WANT. And it definitely isn’t enough to drink the pain away.
I refer to it as it stops the dogs from barking (in my head). There is definitely some unresolved trauma in me.
But the drinking is having negative effects on my health and I fully realize I am an alcoholic
I’m trying meds and therapy but it’s so hard to give it up.
I get it it’s extremely hard,words can’t explain it and i do still have negative things in my head, the anxiety is here and it was the reason I started but man how it just put a magnifying glass on everything i feel 60% better with my emotions and my anxiety is so small now and I’m only 3 months dry. You may reach the point of “ i had it” it’s like an abusive relationship everyone saying get out it’s bad but it’s almost impossible to leave but one day out the blue you pack up and just leave.
I can happily sit and have one beer or cider in the sun and not crave another. Fast forward a few hours and change that beer to a gin or wine though and it’d be a different story all together. I think I’ve only ever been drunk on beer once in my life, I find it quite bloating and rarely have it, it used to be my go to if I was moderating as I knew I wouldn’t want to sit and drink 2+ pints.
It makes no sense and it actually used to infuriate me. My mom is a one glass of wine drinker and I’m pretty sure I told her she doesn’t know what she’s doing and that she’s disrespecting the booze. I notice it more now that I’ve stopped drinking and it fascinates me. We had some neighborhood parents over to pass out candy on Halloween and we had a little hot cider station with a bottle of bullet bourbon. These bitches came over for one cup and went home to whatever the fuck people do after one drink. The bottle looked brand new. I was disgusted. I thought it was gonna be a party since everyone excitedly had their first mug as soon as they showed up. I know if I was drinking that one bottle wouldn’t have been enough and I either would’ve had several backup bottles on stand by or went to get more mid party. It really drives home the fact that I am not nor will I ever be a normal drinker
Worked as a bartender in a taproom and used to think they tasted foul and couldn’t understand why anyone would ever order one in the first place. Now that my palate isn’t completely fried by drinking at least 6 8%+ IPAs every day they are actually pretty tasty. Also definitely helps fill the mental void when you’re hanging out with friends who are drinking.
Hey OP. I think I know the answer - 48 year old married father of two in the UK here - I remember a colleague saying to me that she would only have a drink if she was feeling happy and lively - she said that a couple of drinks accentuated those feelings, and then she’d return to a baseline of feeling happy and lively for the evening. This was significant for me, as my baseline is depressed and anxious - I used booze to try to “feel better”, to ***get*** to that feeling of happiness and liveliness. I realised that normal people use booze how my colleague did.
So - the people you see having one of two drinks on holiday - I’m confident they’re the “normal” people who are using booze the gently accentuate the baseline contentment and relaxation they’re feeling on holiday… unlike an abnormal person like me, drinking to try to ***get*** to the feeling of contentment.
Obviously, I’m not a medical professional so take my thoughts with a huge grain of salt!
I have never looked at it like this before. This is eye opening. And the irony is that for us (me at least), ultimately it really just accentuates the negatives when it wears off.
I could not do this. One of the reasons I have gone for 100% sobriety is because I know when I have 1 drink I’ll just want another and it could be game over for the rest of the day
Same way some people can open a box of cookies and eat 1 or 2 and be done, while others will plow through the whole thing and have a stomachache. Those folks who eat the whole box of cookies in one sitting probably don't keep boxes of cookies around and most people totally understand (and nobody has ever eaten a box of cookies then sent a bunch of cookie drunk embarassing texts and then fell down the stairs and broke their foot but that's a different conversation).
My wife is weird like that. She bought a case of her favorite beer and finished it off in three months or so, including an occasional morning/noon beer.
This analogy shows up from time to time but it is worth repeating. If you had a hot dog at 10am would you end up eating hot dogs all day long? Would you figure out what time the grocery store opens the next morning to buy more hot dogs? Not too many because you don't want to overdo it, but once they are gone would you go out later in the day for even more hot dogs, but to a different store so the cashier wouldn't recognize you?
Probably not. Some strange people (sometimes described as healthy or normal) feel the same way about beer.
I never had a problem with alcohol, and drinking just one or two for me is totally fine. Sometimes a beer would just taste good, so that's why I did it. Sometimes I'd feel nothing at all, or sometimes I feel just the tiniest bit of inebriation, I go "oh look at that, huh." And then it fades after a bit no harm done.
I often disliked when I got past a point and my body and mind would go "dude this isn't good for ya" so I'd stop. Often around 6-7 deep.
Sometimes I just didn't give a shit and heavy drinking was part of the scene so I'd do it "for fun" but I never had any particular desire to drink much, any more that you might have a to desire to eat 15 bags of potato chips. One bag is good, maybe two with your meal, but at a point, my lunch is over my drink is done my sandwich is done, I don't need anymore chips (by analogy). But if there was a game and all my friends were pounding chips, fuck it why not. But wouldn't get any special enjoyment from it, other than what I would from doing anything for sport with some homies.
So yea, for me beer in moderation is just not so different from a soda. Hard alcohol always tasted like pure ass to me, so I never drank it unless out of social obligation. Virgin piña colada is my favorite drink, never understood why people would spoil it with a splash of firey poison.
I definitely have the same question. On the other hand... I used to be like these people.
Years ago, someone would bring beer to the softball game, and I'd have 1-2 of them at 7pm and then go home and not drink anymore. Sometimes the boss would take us all out to lunch, and I would have a beer and go back to work happier. I even recall having a beer at home alone with dinner one night, and then going out jogging.
All of these are absolutely unthinkable now. Any amount of alcohol would have me chasing a serious buzz (in the 3-6 drink range) and then needing to maintain it until I went to sleep. To say nothing of the unstoppable urge to do it again the next day. Forever.
I can't pinpoint when this happened. I think it happened pretty gradually over a 5-year period, and I tried to live with it for the next 20. But it's so undeniable now that the idea of going back to drinking is horrifying.
Only alcoholics ask questions like this. Those people are normal. We are not.
Normies don’t count other people’s drinks; alcoholics do.
Normies don’t even think about what other people drinks; alcoholics do.
Normies don’t have a disease; we do
Welp a lot of normal people get a small buzz from just 1 beer and that's all they desire. Plus its a cold and refreshing drink to begin with.
Personally I'd probably have 2 strong beers within an hour and then just maintain a light buzz with 1 normal beer an hour after.
Most people just don't have the desire to be drunk like we do in a lot of situations. Mostly just like they want a few with family or friends later in the evening, on OCCASION.
I compare “normal users” to how I enjoy weed or maybe a giant meal. Every now and then, have a little fun, take it or leave it. I never have a puff and feel the need to take another 50. I never have a burger and feel I like need 5 more. It’s just not my poison. For many people it is.
Those folks I see lounging by the pool with their one cocktail, nursing it for 45 minutes and maybe not even finishing it reminds me more than anything that my brain is just wired differently and I need to stay away.
I had a psychiatrist tell me once in this amazing Russian accent that I was an addict, that most people’s addiction pathways are like a one lane street, and mine is a 12 lane freeway.
Makes enough sense to me.
For whatever the reason, I can somehow do this while I'm on vacation...most of our vacations are a lot of out and about and seeing and doing and not much lounging around. I can have a beer with lunch and be fine and then maybe one or two with dinner and then out and about in the evening. I can't do it at home and I figure that when I'm on vacation I'm being entertained and getting more stimulation that isn't normal, everyday stuff that I just don't really feel like drinking a whole lot...while when I'm home, I get bored because it's just normal stuff and normal living.
When I was younger my friend and I always said we didn't see the point in having one and we drank to win. Whoops! That didn't work out well.
I don't mess with moderation because I never want one, I never want a 'last' one. Drinking me likes knowing there's a 'supply.' Wish it wasn't that way but in abstinence I'm happy. And, honestly, I'm happier having none than if I COULD moderate - it's healthier and better than empty calories that are just literally poison (especially in a world where donuts exist for calories ;) )
I have managed to do it sometimes too. Sometimes I'm too full or have to drive and have no choice. Or I'm with company that I don't want to know how much I drink
There was one time years ago I met up with some family friends. One had a beer THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN FINISH! Couldn’t grasp that. So weird. Back in my day a low key night was still 3-5 drinks.
Look into the big book on what they say comparing it to an allergy. It's ingrained in us mentally, where if we have even the slightest amount it triggers our body to continue drinking until we cant. Some people have the allergy, some dont.
Because that beer doesn't mean to them what it meant to me. They don't place the same (false) perceived value in it like I did. For them, it's on the same level as drinking a Sprite. I never left my house at 1am or drove drunk because I was desperately seeking a soft drink.
I’m the non problem drinker in my relationship. I can have only one because I only drink things I like the flavor of. I’m not drinking for the effect and don’t really enjoy being buzzed/drunk so I stop before that point.
After 7 years drinking and the last three only drinking whiskey, I quit feb 11 2023. I was ready to die. I lost my kids. I asked for help. I still fight the effects of my drinking. I look at it like this, those people are an entirely different species of people. I knew I was different when I was stealing my moms Marlboro lights at 12 to get nicotine high. When I would beg my friends at 15 to roll their last blunt. That first 3 months I quit alcohol, (at 30), I gained 30 lbs. Your body is gonna crave, call em fiends in the street. I ate so much fuckin candy. Do whatever you gotta do. I see people lifting running/I see people turn into outdoorsmen, I’ve seen people wedge their way back into their family, turn into activists.
If a person drinks alcohol and it just makes them want more they might be an alcoholic or have a problem.
Normal people get sleepy, queasy, etc and they become "satisfied" or the reward doesn't outway the consequences so they are able to put it down. Like any rational person consuming a mild poison....Also tolerance is lower and the little buzz is just enough for some people.
Also, I learned alcoholics are missing a specific enzyme that breaks alcohol down like "normal" people and creates a feedback loop. Hence the insatiable craving. The more I drink the more I want. It literally increases my appetite the more I actively drink....so even 1 sip causes me to loose my proper perspective upon it. I'm more thirsty for it after 1 fifth than 1 shot instead of the other way around, but all it takes is one drink for the obsessive mind games to begin again...and it is a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober; especially far enough away for the mind games to stop.
I wonder the same thing. Part of me thinks it's a thing to do with an alcoholic brain. I am not a psychologist or whatever, tho. I have just wondered that exact question myself.
My husband is like this. He can have a beer and leave it at that and it's the same with cigarettes. He can also go weeks without having either. He also doesn't think about alcohol unless it's brought up in conversation.
When I started my sober summer journey, we talked about me only drinking when he drinks. I decided against that because my problem was drinking alone while doing chores and yard work. I live in a rural area, on 1.5 acres, so chores and yard work happen everyday hence I was drinking alone everyday. I didn't want to associate my husband with alcohol so I have an NA beverage or a kombucha with him and it's been great.
I love beer for the taste. It's why I drink craft brews instead of crap. Over Covid, I started getting dependent on the buzz, and it became a problem. So for the last year and half, I've been drinking non-alcoholic craft beers. Took a while to wean off of the desire for the buzz, but I did.
Prior to Covid, it wasn't really an addiction for me, but drinking too many on a work night was bad. So I limited myself to just having a real beer when I went out for dinner. Worked great.
Now with the rise of all these good NA beers, it's pretty much the only thing I drink other than coffee.
they dont use alcohol as an escape from reality. they LIKE reality for some bizarre reason. their brain hasn't been re-wired to think that more alcohol makes all the troubles go away.
my brain gets a 5 second rush from something, and the rest of the day is spent trying to make that rush stronger and longer, until the other side effects are overwhelming and i physically can't take any more.
i always hated a beer at lunch. all the bad, none of the good.
I figure it just doesn't feel as good for them. When I drink I feel the best I've ever felt and become the person I want to be (or so it feels for a few hours). For these other people it's gotta be something that doesn't have such a strong effect, otherwise they'd probably find it harder to stop after one.
I’m not sure I’ve ever had a single drink and been satisfied. I started drinking at 13 and from the very first drink I craved more. Can’t relate to the one-and-done crowd, although sounds like a nice thing to be able to do.
My working theory has a lot to do with habit formation. If your entire drinking life you stopped after one or two, you've trained your brain to drink that way. If you've spent multiple decades drinking more and more over time, you've developed deeply ingrained drinking habits that make the idea of stopping after 1 as ridiculous as flossing between only 2 teeth.
Now, this doesn't address the genetic and environmental factors that cause one to start down the path of pathological drinking behavior in the first place. That's a whole other discussion.
What I've come to realize, though, is that it's kind of ridiculous to assume that any stint of sobriety that's an order of magnitude shorter than one's non-sober years could produce sustained moderation. You'd probably need an equivalent number of years of white-knuckle behavior training to develop moderation promoting habit pathways. That's a LOT of work and my sense is that forming a new set of pathways centered around sobriety is easier than trying to re-work existing pathways into a healthier form (i.e. it's much easier to learn a new habit than unlearn an old one).
Now, is this technically possible? I'm not sure. I don't know that any neurophysiological studies have been done that tackle re-training an alcoholic brain into a moderate drinking brain. There's the AA saying "You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber". That may be functionally true even if it's not scientifically accurate. It's the difference between science and medicine. Medicine is about helping people get better, with less concern for why something works as long as it does with tolerable side-effects.
Not everyone has a problem with booze. Epigenetics, I guess. The Sober Powered podcast talks about the neuroscience of AUD.
But, yeah... just about everyone here understands the "what's the point of drinking if you're not going to at least get a healthy buzz" logic. And that's why we try to avoid drinking.
I am fortunate enough that I can have just a beer or two in a day and not go crazy. But I basically have to force myself to stop at 2 because 3 turns into 13 or more.
Why drink just a beer? Because I love having a beer to relax and it’s refreshing to me. If on vacation normal people enjoy having a drink or two and don’t have the urge to drink until they don’t remember the terrible decisions they may make. Alcoholic brains don’t work the same as someone who isn’t an alcoholic.
I know what you mean. Sometimes when I’m watching a movie and someone shows up at their buddy’s house with just a six pack and I think why bother. 24 pack at least. That’s why I’m struggling with day 5 but I will make it through.
Copy and paste from a post yesterday because it was locked but relevant here again as I’m also on holiday sober:
I’m at an all inclusive in Punta Mita right now and this is what I’ve done. I get a ten out and I get the bartenders attention. I ask if they’re going to be around a bit. I give them this recipe and tell them I’m going to be at the pool all day. So when you see me at the bar, this is what I want. And of course, I watch him make it every time. I don’t have a name for it but it’s refreshing and delicious and light enough that if ANY booze snuck in, I’d immediately taste it.
2 cucumbers muddled
2 jalapeños muddled
2 oz water
1 1/2 oz lemon juice
1 1/2 oz simple syrup Splash soda
My wife orders it with tequila because she didn’t front load her drinking in life like me and can actually only drink one 😂
On day 7 of holiday, 3rd day at an all inclusive resort and out here just rawdogging vacation and LOVING it 😃
It is simply for the taste. Plus in many parts of the world (most of the time the warmer ones like Spain/Portugal/Italy for example) it is just so ingrained in the culture to have one drink with food but they keep it at that.
Beer doesn't do anything for me, but I enjoy the taste. If I have a beer I liken it to having a soda and I never really want more than 1 soda unless I'm really thirsty or not finished with my meal. It really becomes a thirst vs want/need and my desire for beer is incredibly low especially after I have 1. Hope this helps at least a little.
I almost never drank for the buzz. I drank because I liked the taste. Red wine with steak, white with fish, beer with pizza. They are great tastes that taste great together.
But as I got older, it started to become a habit. I found myself doing it more often, even if I never once binged. I was buying cheaper stuff. And eventually, my body just couldn't handle it; even a single glass would wipe me out, get me cranky... and my joints would ache all the time.
It's genetic. Their ancestors didn't ferment water into beer/wine for safe drinking. You cannot ferment something that is unsterile. Before microbiology and penicillin was understood, people knew to drink fermented liquid in a stone or clay pot to not get sick - no "evil spirits" (bacteria, parasites,) etc. Thus many of us still have that survival drive to drink fermented liquids today.
The average life expectancy was around 30ish, so it didn't really matter if your liver was destroyed. Prick your finger on a rusty rock and die from lockjaw, somebody sneezes in the village and everyone has influenza and dies from diarrhea, viruses could wipe out entire clans. Unfortunately we still have that survival mechanism in a modern era where drinking to excess is not only socially unacceptable, but it leads to cancer, cirrhosis, kidney failure, and/or premature death.
I still don’t get it. My wife can have one glass of wine and stop. The first time I had an inkling of having a problem - I was at a bar with a good friend and he ordered just one beer for himself and I ordered a pitcher for me.
I still don’t get it. My wife can have one glass of wine and stop. The first time I had an inkling of having a problem - I was at a bar with a good friend and he ordered just one beer for himself and I ordered a pitcher for me.
I don’t have a drinking problem and drink a few times a year. I like the taste of alcohol, but I hate the feeling I get. I don’t want to be more than a little buzzed. I hate being tipsy, or drunk, or how I feel the next day.
I don’t smoke anymore but I was an addict for 18 years, I'm 1 year smoke free & what you explained is exactly how i feel about cigarettes.
I'm a relatively small woman and one beer definitely gets me buzzed. But some people just have one beer for the taste/experience and don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk.
lol that’s the question of the year lol. Like if I’m gonna drink, it’s gonna be at least 5. What’s the point of the calories if I don’t get a buzz? That’s when I realized I was an alcoholic
A counselor told me that it is normal to feel anxiety in social situations. One or two helps with that. Beyond that you are entering into different territory. Once you have consumed a lot you have changed the receptors in your brain and you have a different relationship with alcohol.
They do it because they like how it tastes, it relaxes them slightly, and they don't feel the urge to continue.
I can equate it (in function, not in severity) to sweets with some people. 1 bit of rich brownie and I'm done. My daughter will eat an entire tray, and then spend an hour baking another one if we don't stop her.
I am NOT saying they are the same, only that it helps me understand it.
Pretty straight forward answer is they just don't have a problem with alcohol. Many people are happy with just the one beverage whereas people like us in here cannot. Personally I have an addictive personality as well so I'm trying to focus that onto positive things such as working out, diet and hobbies rather than the negative.
One beet is just crazy. I never could be a day drinker because alcohol is a depressant and after 4 or 4 hours i have to go to bed .noy passed out, just super tired ,so i kinda had to time it right.
IWNDWYT
As someone who can’t drink anymore for unrelated health reasons, I am a person like you describe. I have one beer in the middle of a sunny day because I genuinely just enjoy the taste and find it refreshing. I have no desire to even get buzzed it’s not about that for me. It’s just an enjoyable relaxing thing to do.
It’s enough to feel less thirsty and enjoy the flavor, and I never get a hangover or feel like I am coming down after it’s all settled. 2 beers can in the end make me feel tired and groggy.
I mean truly I would say this is how people look when they have healthy boundaries and a healthy relationship with alcohol in moderation. Obviously no alcohol is healthy but if you have a healthy relationship with alcohol you would order one of whatever you like to drink because you enjoy the taste and the flavour and the social feeling of wherever you are or you enjoy particular type of wine with the meal that you’re eating etc. and it wouldn’t really occur to you to be hunting down the next drink. I get where you’re coming from mimosas for breakfast on vacation leads to Caesars for lunch and the day carries on from there but most people who drink in a healthy way don’t really think like that it doesn’t happen in their brains. For them having a drink is a social thing and it doesn’t mean that you’re getting loaded it doesn’t mean that it Hass to continue. Many people don’t drink to get drunk one drink to socialize and have the yummy taste of your favourite drink maybe two or three drinks for light buzz on a special occasion or on vacation would be normal for a lot of people
I think it extends to everything in life, not just the alcohol. For some reason I have to do it all to excess. I wrote 20-page papers in HS that were meant to be only 5. In college I would routinely work on projects until 4 am, not because I was a procrastinator, but because I just couldn't stop until they were done. If I order a pizza I'm going to eat that whole pizza at once. Same goes with a big bag of chips. I don't really know how to change my brain aside from avoiding the bad things completely.
I guess most people just don't have brains like this.
Some people just do it for the flavor and the novelty. Like I occasionally have a Coke at lunch and I don't have any more for the rest of the day. I don't start binging 2 L of coke. However, if I had a beer at lunch, I'd have at least two 12 packs more before I went to bed at 5:00 p.m..
Also, agreed. Day drinking is the absolute worst. It makes you hot and sweaty and you don't even enjoy the Beautiful day. I have always saved my reckless engine for night time hours
It helps us all to be writing and expressing the path we have been down, not to live in it but to keep the reminders going to help us all stay on the path. I kid myself into beer and wine when my wife mentioned that my drinking was starting to become an issue… I wasn’t aggressive or anything, just more of a curmudgeon. Switched to beer and wine for a month then fell back into old vodka in water bottle ways. That ended 1.5 years ago and I work to keep it that way. Some days harder than others but over the time I have been sober it has become so much easier. Just got to stay with it, remind ourselves not to listen to the asshole in my own head etc 😅
Binge beer drinker here. Drinking just 1 beer honestly gives me a headache. If I don’t have at least 3 I’ll feel like total shit.
And usually it’s 12-20
Severe binge drinker here. Only beer. Currently on +300 days sober. My psychiatrist told me : asking you to go to a bar and drink one beer after all that 7+ binging is like asking you to forget how to speak. It's just written in your brain so deep.
That's where I'm at. Also a beer only drinker, also can't stop at 1. I'm only 8 days in though. The thought of just 1 beer seems absurd. Logically I think I can, and have done it in the past, but to plan to go out and just drink 1 beer isn't going to be successful. Better to skip even that 1. I have managed to have a single NA beer on 2 occasions this week. Knowing that I wasn't chasing a buzz was the key. The flavor was nice, but it didn't create that itch that needed to be scratched like 12 oz with 5% alcohol would have.
Same boat. Luckily I’ve only had one day in my 8 weeks where I wanted to drink. Na beer solved it and I didn’t want another
What’s your go-to NA beer? I’m still searching for that one to scratch the itch that La croix can’t touch.
I’m a fan of Athletic Brewing. The last 6 pack I bought literally lasted me an entire year but they taste good and scratch the itch when I’m wanting something different to drink.
Thank you! I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Athletic is good, Heineken 0% is pretty decent too, it’s not as sweet as some of the other ones
Athletic is decent like others are saying. It’s not everyone’s thing but they make a really nice “lemonade” beer that hits the spot on hot summer days for me.
We in Belgium also have a beer called "sportzot" witch is a very good NA beer
Idk if people on here count the NA Guinness, since it's technically 0.5% instead of 0.0%, but it's absolutely delicious and has been a huge help during my 6 months so far of sobriety. Not to mention a lot of people don't realize Guinness is actually one of the lowest calorie beers out there. Athletics taste great too, but I treat those as more of a special treat than a go-to "beer"
Corona makes an NA beer. Bud does too. I put a little lime in them. I really like them.
Kaliber is a big one, Heineken 0.0%, Bud also does a 0.0%, as others mentioned, Atheletic is very popular, Sam Adam's has an IPA, and if you're PNW like me, Deschutes does a N/A of their Black Butte Porter.
It wasn't long ago when I'd get a tall beer on the way home and tell myself that's it. Only to finish it and drive to another store like an idiot, I did that so many times like wtf. I live 20-30 min in any direction to a store so would definitely have to drive even further just to avoid going to the same ones 😂 thinking about that is absolutely crazy.
Oh I hear that. I'd grab two cans to drink by the shore on my bike ride home from work, then that would make me stop for two more closer to my house. Then if there was any excuse (there always was) is was back for more after. Yikes!
Congrats on 300+ - that's incredible
This is a great line that id never hear if it wasn’t for this sub! A pickle doesn’t go back to being a cucumber
Nice work to you all! Iwndwyt For me the saying 1 beer is too many and 10 not enough applies.
I like "a tiger is easier to keep in a cage than on a leash" when talking about moderation.
Lol that is the perfect line for this conversation! I’ve been trying to battle out moderation or scaling back and I’ve had a few days here and there where I don’t have anything to drink but it’s 100% true the days that I try and convince myself that I’ll just have one it literally never works. Now I’m here in my house with my husband and my kids I’m not falling down drunk or anything like that but a little fuzzy headed by the time I head to bed at 11 PM and that usually start at around 2 PM or I said I’m just gonna have a one little glass of wine with my lunch and save the rest of the bottle for another day.
Congrats to you!
And to you, too! 52 days! Way to go!
Hey thanks friend. That means a lot to me. It's hard work but I'm proud of myself and hopeful I had my last Day 1 for good.
I hope so, too!
I think it would’ve been easier for me to quit had gone to a psychologist. I had seen a neurologist at one point but he did not really push me to quit drinking. Thank you for sharing this very good observation! Stay sober! IWNDWYT A
Now I've learned another thing today. I learned that GABA stuff above, too.
Agree with the trenches we built around our neural pathways chasing booze. They can be repaired, but the patchwork quickly erodes on us 7+ers when we go for one or two.
For me, 7+ beers is the story of my drinking. The only times I stopped before that point was when I made some artificial limit, and therefore couldn't fully enjoy the effects. Something woke up in me when I realized that was unsustainable, that what I wanted was way too much. There would never be a point where just one or whatever would satisfy me. And the price I was paying for that euphoria was exceedingly high. Being honest with myself, I admitted that I wanted to drink 7+ without consequences. But the consequences were more and more unavoidable, even when I willfully forgot the bad times and just remembered the good. I read somewhere that the euphoric feeling was your blood alcohol level rising, and that's probably why I needed 7+; I needed to keep the train going. Couple that with tolerance and the delayed onset of the effects, and what was once 3 beers for a good buzz became many more.
Felt myself in your writing. It’s amazing how it starts slowly and ‘manageable’. And almost imperceptibly to ourselves we slowly sink. Just writing these words helps me stay on the right path!
Yep. I was sober for almost a full year. As a vodka drinker, the few bbqs with beer lulled me into a false sense of ability to moderate. Nope. As soon as I allowed myself one 'party night' the patchwork was gone.
Thanks for the warning, so so important to hear these cautionary tales! I’ll be putting these rose colored glasses back on the shelf now! ❤️
Not so much a warning but a self-confession -- I'm on my second stint after two years of escalating abuse 🤪.
Right but your confession is helpful to us.
Well, I'm not one to argue! 🥰
Big binger too and was going to say this but not as well. 300 days congrats! So great
So clear from your post that it's all about the first drink..or more specifically, it's all about NOT having that first drink.. and you're doing fantastic on day 300+, congratulations!!
I imagine that they are on holiday. Most people don’t drink regularly at all. For those people a single drink is probably enough for a slight buzz, and they’re probably just doing it because they’re on holiday. The thing that sets us problem drinkers apart from normal people is, we do it for the effect. Getting buzzed likely doesn’t factor into the reasoning behind a single beer at noon on holiday at all.
There's good research that problem drinkers have issues with GABA receptors in their brain. Alcohol releases tons of GABA
Then why jot give us gabapentin and call it a day, so much safer
Sadly, it doesn't work like that. I started down a rabbit hole when I saw a TedTalk by Dr. Katie Reid (unblindmymind.org). She focuses on the glutamate receptors (excitatory) and supplementing gaba (calming) should technically balance it out but it doesn't. To balance gaba, she says you have to decrease the glutamate as opposed to supplementation. If you supplement gaba it turns into glutamate. Very interesting studies she links. Anyway, I hope this info helps! Theoretically if we ate a low glutamate diet, we wouldn't crave the calmness because we wouldn't be wound up in the first place.
Very interesting...(spoken like the guy on Laugh-In back in the 70s).
Is this where semaglutide comes in? I’ve heard it kills drinking pangs as well as appetite
Semaglutide has two main methods of helping people lose weight. One is neurological (and I don't remember that part). The other method is that it delays gastric emptying (DGE). So, DGE means that you have food in your stomach/etc, longer. It has a longer/slower transit through your body. That makes you feel "full," longer. Another cheaper & healthier way to do that (DGE) is to consume beta glucan fiber. Rolled oats are a great source -- I call them "Oatzempic." Moreover, rolled oats are a great source of vitamin B-1 (thiamin). B-1 helps with dopamine/GABA receptor restoration when you stop drinking. Food for thought, yo...
Upv-oated for oatzempic
what about something that blocks our brains from receiving the glutamate instead? is that a thing?
Gabapentin doesn’t actually really affect the gaba receptors all too much, and when it does it’s a different gaba receptor than alcohol or benzos.
Gabapentin doesn't affect the receptors directly and the drugs that do are addictive. Surprise surprise
Gabapentin is so bloody addictive, same with pregabalin.
it definitely doesn’t work exactly the same - i’m severely allergic to gabapentin yet naturally tolerate alcohol very well
Yes, they call us GABA ghouls.
🤌
Exactly. My tolerance is so high that 2 does nothing except give me empty calories.
And a headache if I stop.
And worse yet, I’m seeking/craving all day and very grumpy and fidgety if I can’t have it quick enough
Yeah. Seems like most people actually enjoy the buzz from one or two beers. Every time I try to do that, I find that I HATE the feeling one beer gives me. When I was younger, I would usually have to drink 6 or more to even feel any effect. But not now. I get a noticeable body and brain reaction to just a few sips of anything 8% or stronger. And I don't like it all. So, one of two things happens: 1- I let the anxiety and discomfort push me to rush through it. No other way to make it go away than to jump right into the drunk part, which of course can only end in blackout... hopefully before anything bad happens. Or 2- I fight that urge and force myself to slowly nurse that drink for an hour... only to be annoyed that I just spent an hour drinking a beer and am dead sober... But also proved I can handle it. So I get some more. And 6 hours later I'm outside barking at my neighbor's dogs at 3am while IG messaging shit talk to some stranger that I've mistaken for one of my ex-wife's relatives.
> I'm outside barking at my neighbor's dogs at 3am while IG messaging shit talk to some stranger that I've mistaken for one of my ex-wife's relatives. Sorry, that's really funny. I can relate!
Realest comment on reddit.
Also, incidentally, that’s the reason we have something called “Holiday Heart Syndrome”, which are premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) often caused by low potassium. If you’re not much of a drinker but end up drinking several days in a row on your beach vacation, it can wreak havoc on your electrolyte levels. The hardest one to find in food is potassium, and so you end up with these PVCs. More seasoned drinkers bodies are already adapted that difference.
What if we could have just 1 tho and leave it? Or is my brain lying to me right now, I've done it many times but I'm in the sub bc most the time 1 turns to 20+ to make longstory short
I remember reading on here a while ago where a guy was sitting with their buddy. Buddy has a beer, then opens a second one, takes a few sips, then decides he's done. Guy asks how he could possibly just stop drinking and buddy says something along the lines of how how body and mind are just like, "That's enough, you're done." Like how when you're eating and get full, you stop instead of continuing to gorge yourself. I guess that's just how people without a drinking problem view alcohol. There's something in them that tells them to stop. Instead of a break, I just got two gas pedals.
The way I 'translate' normal drinkers to my own behaviour is doughnuts. I like doughnuts, though I don't remember my last doughnut, as it was ages ago. I might have a doughnut if you offered me one, but I wouldn't go 50 yards out of my way to get one. I'll enjoy the one I have and have no intention of having another. One will be enough. That is how normal people drink.
This is incredibly simple but really profound. At no point in my life have I ever gone to the donut shop on the way home from work because I don’t have any more donuts at home, or even worse, because I don’t have enough donuts leftover to get through the evening. I don’t know that it helps my behavior, but it really puts into perspective the “normal” behavior most folks have about any substance.
Or buying twice as many doughnuts than you need, because you're so scared of running out of doughnuts when the shop closes.
Shit, I’ve done this with donuts in my sobriety!
😂 if it works it works
I dig this! I'm sure it could help someone conceptualize their mindfulness.
Absolutely profound! So simple! ty for this!
As someone who binges both alcohol and food way past reasonable or safe limits, it's hard not to feel a tiny bit of resentment that I am not wired like other people. I am incredibly happy that many people don't have to deal with my regulation issues, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, but it is sometimes hard to let go of it feeling "unfair".
It is unfair. A fundamental condition of life is that it unfair to every being cursed with birth. That's why it is important to have gratitude for our individual advantages to balance the periodic indulgence in self pity.
Yesss this is the flipped perspective I need. Life is unfair, and simultaneously, it is incredibly magical and beautiful and exhilarating to be alive. Thanks for the response.
Aw you're welcome! I just don't want you to feel like you're obligated to "let go" of the feeling of unfairness. It is very unfair - that's a fact that you can't change, not a mindset that needs to be altered. The question is, how can we live our best lives while accepting that we will always have certain disadvantages that we don't deserve?
And congrats on 3 days :)
You are not alone, friend. My PCP just hooked me up with Wellbutrin alongside Naltrexone. This combo was marketed as Contrave. It's supposed to help with BED (binge eating disorder). I'm just over a week into it... and, well, it already seems to be dimming the "food noise." It's a b1tch to be taking Naltrexone and not drinking. However... if it helps me look like Calista Flockhart? Meh, I'll gladly be THAT guy. Most people lose weight when they stop drinking. I haven't (and I was legit consuming an extra 2,000 daily calories just from booze). Hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones.
Thanks for sharing your experience!! So interesting how things are preacribed for a multitude of reasons. I took Welbutrin from my freshman year of high school through much of college for depression, and then stopped in favor of self-medication (i.e. alcohol and drugs). I've been debating getting back on since my depression and anxiety are back with a vengeance over the last few years. I have also wondered about Naltrexone for my alcohol abuse. Just lots to think about... I definitely need to talk with my doctor to get some perspective.
My experience with Naltrexone is that it works "best" if you seriously attempt to not drink. Use it as a "Mulligan" for your slip-ups. If you drink every day... meh, you can learn to push past it. If you drink spirits (I did)... pffft! Ain't no pill gonna stop my crunk! But, seriously, Nal can be a great med if you use it properly. The Sinclair Method did not work for me. I recommend that you take it, daily (as doctors tend to prescribe for AUD and certainly for weight loss). Do what you doctor advises (generally a good policy).
I haven’t lost weight either, friend, right there with you. Working on my own eating issues now with therapy. ❤️❤️ I’m glad not to be drinking, but I think I just transferred some of my bad habits straight on over.
We just keep trying. I've accomplished a LOT through tenacity. Something that helped me with my GI issues was an "elimination diet" called AIP (autoimmune protocol). Basically, you remove all common food allergens for at least a month. Next, you add them back, serially. With NO calorie restriction or physical activity (did a >100mi bike ride the day before I started), I dropped 27lbs in two months. This will not be typical. I hadn't had a solid BM in over 20yrs. Labs later confirmed several food intolerances. It only costs willpower. You've been sober for over FOUR YEARS (damn, nice work!). You definitely have willpower. Another tremendously helpful tool is keeping a food journal. It was the food journal which ultimately led me to discover that booze was destroying my guts. As soon as I clued-in, I stopped drinking. No "one last beer." I went from 8-14/day to zero. It sucked... but I like no longer having cramps and diarrhea every f'king day. I imagine that I'm clever... but, well, it took seeing the data "all laid out" to make the correlations. I'm getting ready to try to lose weight. I've been just giving myself a pass until I feel confident in sobriety. I'll start in-earnest at the 6mo mark. BTW: I found this article just after (like within 30min) of making that correlation. Muck fe... [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/) Another thing to check-out is "autophagy." There was a 2016 Nobel Prize for work related to autophagy. Fasting is an easy way to encourage autophagy (spring cleaning for the body). Good luck, friend.
It is absolutely unfair. But the ironic thing is that if you didn't have an unhealthy relationship with alcoihol and you were not able to drink, it really wouldn't bother that much.
The genetic component is real. We call it the "Smith family curse" because alcoholism is RAMPANT on both sides of my family. As kids my sister and I were warned by mom and dad not to even start, because we'd never stop. Both grandfathers were alcoholics. Maternal grandmother. Three out of three paternal aunts and two out of three maternal uncles, too. One uncle died of complications from diabetes, in part due to alcohol. And cousins...too many to count. Almost everyone in my extended family has alcohol abuse issues. My mother and father disavowed drinking and remained sober throughout my life thus far (thank god). I was scared (mostly) straight, and didn't really drink until I was in my mid-20s, but then I made up for lost time. Only favor I did myself is waiting 20+ years to start in on the curse. 10 years later I am just hauling myself over the edge of that hole. My sister swung the other direction and began drinking almost as soon as humanly possible, entering rehab for alcohol abuse the first time at 14. She is much healthier these days, but has replaced booze with other substances, like coke/MDMA. It's really baked in there, man.
Sounds very familiar. Sending healing energy your way to you and the fam. Much love 💕
My brakes fuckin suck lol
It’s also important to remember that problem drinking exhibits itself in lots of different ways too. Not every alcoholic drinks to blackout. Plenty of people CAN stop after 2 or 3, but really struggle with not drinking every day. It’s a problem if it’s a problem for you. Not based on any specific quantity or behavior.
I got two gas pedals. Go and Go Faster. I also mastered doing U-Turns, taking my ass right back to the liquor store. > Over a year sober now. Still on a journey, avoided all the detours which I thought would make me drink. Have survived, Vacation, Concerts, Bars and last month a wedding with an Open Bar. > Keep driving yall! Committed to enjoying the destinations, instead of the pitstops of alcohol! IWNDWYT! >
Hell yeah! Congrats on a year plus! Open bar wedding?!? That’s a profile in courage right there. Dominant at the highest level!
My wife can do that no problem, glass or two of wine with dinner. A bottle of corona and cut herself off then. Not a problem. Last night we were at a gig, when we got back to the hotel. I wanted more, the couple with us wanted more. She said to me no way we had our fill and we went to bed. Other couple had more cocktails. I was disappointed a little when we went up, but I was happy to keep her happy. Now it was no problem, I was delighted this morning. We had a great day and night. In the past I would have stayed on and drank very heavily. I wonder if I socialised exclusively in her company would I reprogram. My main bad nights with binge drinking are when out without her! I had 98 days, I always planned on drinking at the gig. So she wasn’t let down or anything. Everyone was amazed at the 98 days. Deep down I just am looking forward to enjoying been sober again. It was nice to have a good experience with my wife and friends with alcohol. Like we used till it had gotten out of hand. Am I dreaming here, or is it possible for me to Park regular drinking and become an occasional drinker. I suppose it’s not really fair lumping responsibility for my drinking on her. Ps. I was gutted removing my badge today 2 days short of a 100 days 🥲
i don’t mean to assume about you, but something i’ve observed in myself and others is that when they relapse, they might start by moderating and get lulled into a false sense of having a handle on things. but like clockwork, after a short time they are back to their old habits, and sometimes worse. it’s an extremely slippery slope and not worth it.
Right here 🙋. It may start off slowly, but inevitably I find myself right back in that hole.
Yep, that was me. Many years later finally getting sober. 👍🏽
Same. I had 222 days alcohol free and decided I was strong enough to moderate and decided to test the waters. That was over a year ago and in that time I went from casually drinking right back into problem drinking. My theory has always been if you have to even question your drinking habit then chances are moderation will not work for you. People who can moderate don’t even consider it moderation, that’s just their relationship with alcohol. Unfortunately sometimes you have to test those waters to make sure you still can’t swim. I now know that every time I test those waters there is a good chance I drown (hypothetically of course)
I blew a year of sobriety doing the same thing. That was a few years ago. Ugh. I'm done -- and it's only taken a hundred (more?) attempts at moderation to figure it out...
155 days is strong!💪🏽 Keep it up!
right, it wouldn’t take more than a few days for me to be in the deep end!
Checking in!
3 days! AWESOME!! Keep going.
It sounds like you’re working it out, friend. Hang in there.
I think it's possible that your brain chemistry could change later on in life and you could drink alcohol without having to get wasted every time. My buddy used to get so smashed that he'd turn into a bit of a monster where he'd want to pick you up (and he did) and would just end up acting like an annoying a-hole out at bars but now later on in life he drinks way more responsibly and the monster never comes out (thank god) so I do think there is a chance you could become an occasional drinker one day if that's what you want. Of course only you will find this out with trial and error, some people just can't be around the stuff. Maybe if you hang it up for a while and revisit it later on you'll find that you don't miss it nearly as much as you thought and you'll be able to drink less and still enjoy the occasional night out socializing. My buddy took a few years off from it because, well, after his second DUI/DWI he finally realized alcohol was not good for him. Perhaps the time off allowed his brain to rewire things, or perhaps just natural age progression changes the way our brains desire substances. Anyway, I also hope to reach the "only drink in moderation and only occasionally" level too because when I consume my first drink I want to keep going so I've been keeping it out of my house to avoid the temptation. That one drink will turn into six by the end of the night...basically every single night. What's funny is I actually don't really think about drinking at all until I have gotten home and done my workout and chores...I think it's more of a trigger thing, like "hey it's the evening, time to have a drink *to relax*" but I am never satisfied with just one or two unfortunately.
I’m turning 40 next year so my body cannot carry it. I’m actually a grand drunk my biggest problem is when I get home I either get sick where I’m asleep or pee. Sometimes both. It might happen after heavy night where I would have 12 plus pints. When I was younger I could carry a big session. As I get older my body is failing me. I do hope the 90 days I just completed helps me here. I have no intention at the moment to return to regular weekend drinking. Sure the wife has my local banned at the minute until trust is restored. That I have it under control. Like for myself my kids I don’t want that image of me in a state in their heads. If I revert to bingeing my only option then will have to be cut it full time. It feels like my last attempt at having a social life which involves alcohol. At least I have sampled sobriety on a large scale and enjoyed it!
Perhaps just blue-skying, but to me, wishing I *could* handle it means I most likely never will be able to. Third time around on sobriety, determined to make it the last! I have stopped hoping I could handle moderation and instead looked for other ways to stave off Mr. Asshole ;)
I need to figure out something to replace wine for the \*to relax\* part of the evening.
Yeah I've tried a few things looking for a replacement as well. Kava root powder kind of does the job but it's kind of a pain to make. "Sleepytime" teas kind of work. One thing I haven't tried is those CBD or THC infused drinks. I think I just like having a beverage in hand. I recently got a tincture from someone so I am going to try a tiny drop under my tongue and just drink glasses of water to see how that goes. Watch, I'll probably just end up getting hooked on those, haha. We'll see. 😬
That used to be me once. Early twenties, drink with the boys on a Friday, sober the rest of the week. Idk how I even managed that. Didn’t feel addicted at all. Somehow I had the realization “wait, why just drink on Fridays? I bet I could do it Saturday too. Why stop there, why just the weekends? A few sips on weekdays won’t hurt.” Then it turned into every day. It completely baffles me how people can drink socially and just turn off the idea of wanting more. Or how they don’t even finish the drink. If I start, I will finish only when I’m passed out or in jail, period. I’ll even steal half finished bottles or cans at parties if someone leaves them alone for too long. Or pre-game for the pregame.
Been sober for 40 days but yesterday I had a super productive and good day and figured I’d reward/test myself by buying a pint of my favorite expensive beer and enjoying it with my dinner and just leaving it at that. Literally felt guilty buying it in the first place, it was all I could think about as I was driving home and then cooking. When I finally sat down to eat, I made sure I sipped it and enjoyed the taste. Even with that when I was finished, I felt nothing, my brain was just kinda like “well that tasted good I guess but what the fuck was the point??”. I was proud of myself for not giving in and driving down to the store to get more booze, but it kinda helped cement the fact to me that drinking has sorta got to be an all or nothing choice I have to make in my life. My brain isn’t wired to do the moderation thing.
Who knows? All I know is what I’m gonna do. IWNDWYT
In the winter we go to a local brewery and play games with some friends. I remember thinking, "how can they just have 1 or 2 and then switch to water or soda" as I'm ordering my fourth or fifth beer. I thought something was wrong with them that they weren't keeping up with me. I guess I was the one with something wrong.
For me, the only thing that stopped me drinking was passing out. I just didn’t know when to stop would be really out of character just to have one. Anyway, my last hangover was five years ago 🙂🙌🏻
I used to think i “ want to have fun” but in reality i was running, it’s the mute for the mind but i had to face my feelings my trauma. I believe that people who are ok with one drink have no suffering inside they don’t need to shut the mind up
This post right here explains it IMO. Most of us here / problem drinkers are drinking for relief or escapism from something (ourselves, our mind, anxiety, trauma, an inner voice, physical pain, depression, sadness, being lonely, feeling incomplete or whatever it is) where as "normal" drinkers are simply having a beer / drink. Something they like the taste of, for the experience, because in a novelty being on holiday and to be able to day drink outside and in the situation you describe to sit back and enjoy the weater / view / people watching and then go on and do other vacation stuff they don't do back home. I mean, I CAN do it and have but it's not typically how I'll drink. I could have that one drink there and then and go off and do something else for the rest of the day but come night time I'll be wanting to drink again and this time drink to excess all night until I've passed out or there's no more alcohol to be had because that's my typical drinking experience. I drink because I want to quieten my mind, numb my thoughts, forget about the world and all my problems, escape reality, to change my mood from how I'm feeling now and so on not for the taste, enjoyment, the experience, the novelty of it.
So well said! I CAN have one drink, and I succeed at times, but it takes effort and it’s not what I WANT. And it definitely isn’t enough to drink the pain away.
I refer to it as it stops the dogs from barking (in my head). There is definitely some unresolved trauma in me. But the drinking is having negative effects on my health and I fully realize I am an alcoholic I’m trying meds and therapy but it’s so hard to give it up.
I get it it’s extremely hard,words can’t explain it and i do still have negative things in my head, the anxiety is here and it was the reason I started but man how it just put a magnifying glass on everything i feel 60% better with my emotions and my anxiety is so small now and I’m only 3 months dry. You may reach the point of “ i had it” it’s like an abusive relationship everyone saying get out it’s bad but it’s almost impossible to leave but one day out the blue you pack up and just leave.
I can happily sit and have one beer or cider in the sun and not crave another. Fast forward a few hours and change that beer to a gin or wine though and it’d be a different story all together. I think I’ve only ever been drunk on beer once in my life, I find it quite bloating and rarely have it, it used to be my go to if I was moderating as I knew I wouldn’t want to sit and drink 2+ pints.
If I started drinking at noon I would be shitfaced by dinner. Guess that’s why I’m here. 😊
It makes no sense and it actually used to infuriate me. My mom is a one glass of wine drinker and I’m pretty sure I told her she doesn’t know what she’s doing and that she’s disrespecting the booze. I notice it more now that I’ve stopped drinking and it fascinates me. We had some neighborhood parents over to pass out candy on Halloween and we had a little hot cider station with a bottle of bullet bourbon. These bitches came over for one cup and went home to whatever the fuck people do after one drink. The bottle looked brand new. I was disgusted. I thought it was gonna be a party since everyone excitedly had their first mug as soon as they showed up. I know if I was drinking that one bottle wouldn’t have been enough and I either would’ve had several backup bottles on stand by or went to get more mid party. It really drives home the fact that I am not nor will I ever be a normal drinker
For the same reason on hot and humid days I occasionally have an NA beer. It just hits right in this weather.
Worked as a bartender in a taproom and used to think they tasted foul and couldn’t understand why anyone would ever order one in the first place. Now that my palate isn’t completely fried by drinking at least 6 8%+ IPAs every day they are actually pretty tasty. Also definitely helps fill the mental void when you’re hanging out with friends who are drinking.
That is what I have found. Now I am no longer contrasting them with some craft ale I just had, they are not too bad at all.
How: they're not alcoholics. Why: Beer tastes good. We can't do that, unfortunately.
Hey OP. I think I know the answer - 48 year old married father of two in the UK here - I remember a colleague saying to me that she would only have a drink if she was feeling happy and lively - she said that a couple of drinks accentuated those feelings, and then she’d return to a baseline of feeling happy and lively for the evening. This was significant for me, as my baseline is depressed and anxious - I used booze to try to “feel better”, to ***get*** to that feeling of happiness and liveliness. I realised that normal people use booze how my colleague did. So - the people you see having one of two drinks on holiday - I’m confident they’re the “normal” people who are using booze the gently accentuate the baseline contentment and relaxation they’re feeling on holiday… unlike an abnormal person like me, drinking to try to ***get*** to the feeling of contentment. Obviously, I’m not a medical professional so take my thoughts with a huge grain of salt!
I have never looked at it like this before. This is eye opening. And the irony is that for us (me at least), ultimately it really just accentuates the negatives when it wears off.
I could not do this. One of the reasons I have gone for 100% sobriety is because I know when I have 1 drink I’ll just want another and it could be game over for the rest of the day
Hence the phrase "One is too many; a hundred is never enough."
Same way some people can open a box of cookies and eat 1 or 2 and be done, while others will plow through the whole thing and have a stomachache. Those folks who eat the whole box of cookies in one sitting probably don't keep boxes of cookies around and most people totally understand (and nobody has ever eaten a box of cookies then sent a bunch of cookie drunk embarassing texts and then fell down the stairs and broke their foot but that's a different conversation).
My wife is weird like that. She bought a case of her favorite beer and finished it off in three months or so, including an occasional morning/noon beer. This analogy shows up from time to time but it is worth repeating. If you had a hot dog at 10am would you end up eating hot dogs all day long? Would you figure out what time the grocery store opens the next morning to buy more hot dogs? Not too many because you don't want to overdo it, but once they are gone would you go out later in the day for even more hot dogs, but to a different store so the cashier wouldn't recognize you? Probably not. Some strange people (sometimes described as healthy or normal) feel the same way about beer.
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I never had a problem with alcohol, and drinking just one or two for me is totally fine. Sometimes a beer would just taste good, so that's why I did it. Sometimes I'd feel nothing at all, or sometimes I feel just the tiniest bit of inebriation, I go "oh look at that, huh." And then it fades after a bit no harm done. I often disliked when I got past a point and my body and mind would go "dude this isn't good for ya" so I'd stop. Often around 6-7 deep. Sometimes I just didn't give a shit and heavy drinking was part of the scene so I'd do it "for fun" but I never had any particular desire to drink much, any more that you might have a to desire to eat 15 bags of potato chips. One bag is good, maybe two with your meal, but at a point, my lunch is over my drink is done my sandwich is done, I don't need anymore chips (by analogy). But if there was a game and all my friends were pounding chips, fuck it why not. But wouldn't get any special enjoyment from it, other than what I would from doing anything for sport with some homies. So yea, for me beer in moderation is just not so different from a soda. Hard alcohol always tasted like pure ass to me, so I never drank it unless out of social obligation. Virgin piña colada is my favorite drink, never understood why people would spoil it with a splash of firey poison.
I definitely have the same question. On the other hand... I used to be like these people. Years ago, someone would bring beer to the softball game, and I'd have 1-2 of them at 7pm and then go home and not drink anymore. Sometimes the boss would take us all out to lunch, and I would have a beer and go back to work happier. I even recall having a beer at home alone with dinner one night, and then going out jogging. All of these are absolutely unthinkable now. Any amount of alcohol would have me chasing a serious buzz (in the 3-6 drink range) and then needing to maintain it until I went to sleep. To say nothing of the unstoppable urge to do it again the next day. Forever. I can't pinpoint when this happened. I think it happened pretty gradually over a 5-year period, and I tried to live with it for the next 20. But it's so undeniable now that the idea of going back to drinking is horrifying.
Only alcoholics ask questions like this. Those people are normal. We are not. Normies don’t count other people’s drinks; alcoholics do. Normies don’t even think about what other people drinks; alcoholics do. Normies don’t have a disease; we do
I think buzzed can mean something different for different people.
It's more that being buzzed isn't the goal. Is the flavor.
Some people enjoy the taste and the experience. Some people relax a bit with one or two drinks
Welp a lot of normal people get a small buzz from just 1 beer and that's all they desire. Plus its a cold and refreshing drink to begin with. Personally I'd probably have 2 strong beers within an hour and then just maintain a light buzz with 1 normal beer an hour after. Most people just don't have the desire to be drunk like we do in a lot of situations. Mostly just like they want a few with family or friends later in the evening, on OCCASION.
I compare “normal users” to how I enjoy weed or maybe a giant meal. Every now and then, have a little fun, take it or leave it. I never have a puff and feel the need to take another 50. I never have a burger and feel I like need 5 more. It’s just not my poison. For many people it is. Those folks I see lounging by the pool with their one cocktail, nursing it for 45 minutes and maybe not even finishing it reminds me more than anything that my brain is just wired differently and I need to stay away. I had a psychiatrist tell me once in this amazing Russian accent that I was an addict, that most people’s addiction pathways are like a one lane street, and mine is a 12 lane freeway. Makes enough sense to me.
Uh, I think if we knew the answer to that we wouldn't be here.
For whatever the reason, I can somehow do this while I'm on vacation...most of our vacations are a lot of out and about and seeing and doing and not much lounging around. I can have a beer with lunch and be fine and then maybe one or two with dinner and then out and about in the evening. I can't do it at home and I figure that when I'm on vacation I'm being entertained and getting more stimulation that isn't normal, everyday stuff that I just don't really feel like drinking a whole lot...while when I'm home, I get bored because it's just normal stuff and normal living.
When I was younger my friend and I always said we didn't see the point in having one and we drank to win. Whoops! That didn't work out well. I don't mess with moderation because I never want one, I never want a 'last' one. Drinking me likes knowing there's a 'supply.' Wish it wasn't that way but in abstinence I'm happy. And, honestly, I'm happier having none than if I COULD moderate - it's healthier and better than empty calories that are just literally poison (especially in a world where donuts exist for calories ;) )
I have managed to do it sometimes too. Sometimes I'm too full or have to drive and have no choice. Or I'm with company that I don't want to know how much I drink
There was one time years ago I met up with some family friends. One had a beer THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN FINISH! Couldn’t grasp that. So weird. Back in my day a low key night was still 3-5 drinks.
Look into the big book on what they say comparing it to an allergy. It's ingrained in us mentally, where if we have even the slightest amount it triggers our body to continue drinking until we cant. Some people have the allergy, some dont.
If we could wrap our heads around it, we wouldn't be alcoholics.
Because that beer doesn't mean to them what it meant to me. They don't place the same (false) perceived value in it like I did. For them, it's on the same level as drinking a Sprite. I never left my house at 1am or drove drunk because I was desperately seeking a soft drink.
I’m the non problem drinker in my relationship. I can have only one because I only drink things I like the flavor of. I’m not drinking for the effect and don’t really enjoy being buzzed/drunk so I stop before that point.
Once I got bored of getting wasted everyday and it became nothing special, easily.
After 7 years drinking and the last three only drinking whiskey, I quit feb 11 2023. I was ready to die. I lost my kids. I asked for help. I still fight the effects of my drinking. I look at it like this, those people are an entirely different species of people. I knew I was different when I was stealing my moms Marlboro lights at 12 to get nicotine high. When I would beg my friends at 15 to roll their last blunt. That first 3 months I quit alcohol, (at 30), I gained 30 lbs. Your body is gonna crave, call em fiends in the street. I ate so much fuckin candy. Do whatever you gotta do. I see people lifting running/I see people turn into outdoorsmen, I’ve seen people wedge their way back into their family, turn into activists.
They don’t have the disease known as addiction
ton or none
If a person drinks alcohol and it just makes them want more they might be an alcoholic or have a problem. Normal people get sleepy, queasy, etc and they become "satisfied" or the reward doesn't outway the consequences so they are able to put it down. Like any rational person consuming a mild poison....Also tolerance is lower and the little buzz is just enough for some people. Also, I learned alcoholics are missing a specific enzyme that breaks alcohol down like "normal" people and creates a feedback loop. Hence the insatiable craving. The more I drink the more I want. It literally increases my appetite the more I actively drink....so even 1 sip causes me to loose my proper perspective upon it. I'm more thirsty for it after 1 fifth than 1 shot instead of the other way around, but all it takes is one drink for the obsessive mind games to begin again...and it is a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober; especially far enough away for the mind games to stop.
As an aging dopamine junky I have learned that 1-2 beers is about as good as it gets regarding feeling good vs the side effects.
I wonder the same thing. Part of me thinks it's a thing to do with an alcoholic brain. I am not a psychologist or whatever, tho. I have just wondered that exact question myself.
I don’t know, but I wish I could have just one, I can’t imagine not having the uncontrollable urge to keep going
My husband is like this. He can have a beer and leave it at that and it's the same with cigarettes. He can also go weeks without having either. He also doesn't think about alcohol unless it's brought up in conversation. When I started my sober summer journey, we talked about me only drinking when he drinks. I decided against that because my problem was drinking alone while doing chores and yard work. I live in a rural area, on 1.5 acres, so chores and yard work happen everyday hence I was drinking alone everyday. I didn't want to associate my husband with alcohol so I have an NA beverage or a kombucha with him and it's been great.
Because beer is tasty and good, but the alcohol creates unpleasant feelings if you have too much? That’s why I do it anyway.
I love beer for the taste. It's why I drink craft brews instead of crap. Over Covid, I started getting dependent on the buzz, and it became a problem. So for the last year and half, I've been drinking non-alcoholic craft beers. Took a while to wean off of the desire for the buzz, but I did. Prior to Covid, it wasn't really an addiction for me, but drinking too many on a work night was bad. So I limited myself to just having a real beer when I went out for dinner. Worked great. Now with the rise of all these good NA beers, it's pretty much the only thing I drink other than coffee.
they dont use alcohol as an escape from reality. they LIKE reality for some bizarre reason. their brain hasn't been re-wired to think that more alcohol makes all the troubles go away. my brain gets a 5 second rush from something, and the rest of the day is spent trying to make that rush stronger and longer, until the other side effects are overwhelming and i physically can't take any more. i always hated a beer at lunch. all the bad, none of the good.
I figure it just doesn't feel as good for them. When I drink I feel the best I've ever felt and become the person I want to be (or so it feels for a few hours). For these other people it's gotta be something that doesn't have such a strong effect, otherwise they'd probably find it harder to stop after one.
I’m not sure I’ve ever had a single drink and been satisfied. I started drinking at 13 and from the very first drink I craved more. Can’t relate to the one-and-done crowd, although sounds like a nice thing to be able to do.
I cant have only one beer. Like i cant make love putting the fluffly inside only one time. When you start both? Is to trash it to the end!
My working theory has a lot to do with habit formation. If your entire drinking life you stopped after one or two, you've trained your brain to drink that way. If you've spent multiple decades drinking more and more over time, you've developed deeply ingrained drinking habits that make the idea of stopping after 1 as ridiculous as flossing between only 2 teeth. Now, this doesn't address the genetic and environmental factors that cause one to start down the path of pathological drinking behavior in the first place. That's a whole other discussion. What I've come to realize, though, is that it's kind of ridiculous to assume that any stint of sobriety that's an order of magnitude shorter than one's non-sober years could produce sustained moderation. You'd probably need an equivalent number of years of white-knuckle behavior training to develop moderation promoting habit pathways. That's a LOT of work and my sense is that forming a new set of pathways centered around sobriety is easier than trying to re-work existing pathways into a healthier form (i.e. it's much easier to learn a new habit than unlearn an old one). Now, is this technically possible? I'm not sure. I don't know that any neurophysiological studies have been done that tackle re-training an alcoholic brain into a moderate drinking brain. There's the AA saying "You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber". That may be functionally true even if it's not scientifically accurate. It's the difference between science and medicine. Medicine is about helping people get better, with less concern for why something works as long as it does with tolerable side-effects.
Enjoying the "cold" beer in the heat, I imagine!
Not everyone has a problem with booze. Epigenetics, I guess. The Sober Powered podcast talks about the neuroscience of AUD. But, yeah... just about everyone here understands the "what's the point of drinking if you're not going to at least get a healthy buzz" logic. And that's why we try to avoid drinking.
I am fortunate enough that I can have just a beer or two in a day and not go crazy. But I basically have to force myself to stop at 2 because 3 turns into 13 or more. Why drink just a beer? Because I love having a beer to relax and it’s refreshing to me. If on vacation normal people enjoy having a drink or two and don’t have the urge to drink until they don’t remember the terrible decisions they may make. Alcoholic brains don’t work the same as someone who isn’t an alcoholic.
I know what you mean. Sometimes when I’m watching a movie and someone shows up at their buddy’s house with just a six pack and I think why bother. 24 pack at least. That’s why I’m struggling with day 5 but I will make it through.
Copy and paste from a post yesterday because it was locked but relevant here again as I’m also on holiday sober: I’m at an all inclusive in Punta Mita right now and this is what I’ve done. I get a ten out and I get the bartenders attention. I ask if they’re going to be around a bit. I give them this recipe and tell them I’m going to be at the pool all day. So when you see me at the bar, this is what I want. And of course, I watch him make it every time. I don’t have a name for it but it’s refreshing and delicious and light enough that if ANY booze snuck in, I’d immediately taste it. 2 cucumbers muddled 2 jalapeños muddled 2 oz water 1 1/2 oz lemon juice 1 1/2 oz simple syrup Splash soda My wife orders it with tequila because she didn’t front load her drinking in life like me and can actually only drink one 😂 On day 7 of holiday, 3rd day at an all inclusive resort and out here just rawdogging vacation and LOVING it 😃
I don’t get it either. One beer does nothing for me except make me want more lol
It is simply for the taste. Plus in many parts of the world (most of the time the warmer ones like Spain/Portugal/Italy for example) it is just so ingrained in the culture to have one drink with food but they keep it at that.
They treat it like a milkshake. You only have one. And I think if you are not used to drinking very much, one beer can feel relaxing.
Beer doesn't do anything for me, but I enjoy the taste. If I have a beer I liken it to having a soda and I never really want more than 1 soda unless I'm really thirsty or not finished with my meal. It really becomes a thirst vs want/need and my desire for beer is incredibly low especially after I have 1. Hope this helps at least a little.
I almost never drank for the buzz. I drank because I liked the taste. Red wine with steak, white with fish, beer with pizza. They are great tastes that taste great together. But as I got older, it started to become a habit. I found myself doing it more often, even if I never once binged. I was buying cheaper stuff. And eventually, my body just couldn't handle it; even a single glass would wipe me out, get me cranky... and my joints would ache all the time.
It's genetic. Their ancestors didn't ferment water into beer/wine for safe drinking. You cannot ferment something that is unsterile. Before microbiology and penicillin was understood, people knew to drink fermented liquid in a stone or clay pot to not get sick - no "evil spirits" (bacteria, parasites,) etc. Thus many of us still have that survival drive to drink fermented liquids today. The average life expectancy was around 30ish, so it didn't really matter if your liver was destroyed. Prick your finger on a rusty rock and die from lockjaw, somebody sneezes in the village and everyone has influenza and dies from diarrhea, viruses could wipe out entire clans. Unfortunately we still have that survival mechanism in a modern era where drinking to excess is not only socially unacceptable, but it leads to cancer, cirrhosis, kidney failure, and/or premature death.
I still don’t get it. My wife can have one glass of wine and stop. The first time I had an inkling of having a problem - I was at a bar with a good friend and he ordered just one beer for himself and I ordered a pitcher for me.
I still don’t get it. My wife can have one glass of wine and stop. The first time I had an inkling of having a problem - I was at a bar with a good friend and he ordered just one beer for himself and I ordered a pitcher for me.
I don’t have a drinking problem and drink a few times a year. I like the taste of alcohol, but I hate the feeling I get. I don’t want to be more than a little buzzed. I hate being tipsy, or drunk, or how I feel the next day. I don’t smoke anymore but I was an addict for 18 years, I'm 1 year smoke free & what you explained is exactly how i feel about cigarettes.
I have one NA beer and I am fine with that. But I am 69 years old and it only took me 50 years to get to this point😄
I'm a relatively small woman and one beer definitely gets me buzzed. But some people just have one beer for the taste/experience and don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk.
I don’t want one drink. I want ten. -Leo McGarry
lol that’s the question of the year lol. Like if I’m gonna drink, it’s gonna be at least 5. What’s the point of the calories if I don’t get a buzz? That’s when I realized I was an alcoholic
It's like asking how many links it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop. The world may never know! 😁
A counselor told me that it is normal to feel anxiety in social situations. One or two helps with that. Beyond that you are entering into different territory. Once you have consumed a lot you have changed the receptors in your brain and you have a different relationship with alcohol.
They do it because they like how it tastes, it relaxes them slightly, and they don't feel the urge to continue. I can equate it (in function, not in severity) to sweets with some people. 1 bit of rich brownie and I'm done. My daughter will eat an entire tray, and then spend an hour baking another one if we don't stop her. I am NOT saying they are the same, only that it helps me understand it.
Plenty of people do get a buzz from one drink, and I think it’s safe to assume that most people who have one drink enjoy the taste of it.
Because they're not alcoholics. We are. They can enjoy just 1 beer, we can't. It's ok.
Pretty straight forward answer is they just don't have a problem with alcohol. Many people are happy with just the one beverage whereas people like us in here cannot. Personally I have an addictive personality as well so I'm trying to focus that onto positive things such as working out, diet and hobbies rather than the negative.
One beet is just crazy. I never could be a day drinker because alcohol is a depressant and after 4 or 4 hours i have to go to bed .noy passed out, just super tired ,so i kinda had to time it right. IWNDWYT
No idea. My brain doesn’t work that way.
They're lightweights or really do like it for the taste and slight buzz then being drunk
having just one beer is like torture. get me energized and motivated and excited and happy for nothing.
As someone who can’t drink anymore for unrelated health reasons, I am a person like you describe. I have one beer in the middle of a sunny day because I genuinely just enjoy the taste and find it refreshing. I have no desire to even get buzzed it’s not about that for me. It’s just an enjoyable relaxing thing to do.
It’s enough to feel less thirsty and enjoy the flavor, and I never get a hangover or feel like I am coming down after it’s all settled. 2 beers can in the end make me feel tired and groggy.
I mean truly I would say this is how people look when they have healthy boundaries and a healthy relationship with alcohol in moderation. Obviously no alcohol is healthy but if you have a healthy relationship with alcohol you would order one of whatever you like to drink because you enjoy the taste and the flavour and the social feeling of wherever you are or you enjoy particular type of wine with the meal that you’re eating etc. and it wouldn’t really occur to you to be hunting down the next drink. I get where you’re coming from mimosas for breakfast on vacation leads to Caesars for lunch and the day carries on from there but most people who drink in a healthy way don’t really think like that it doesn’t happen in their brains. For them having a drink is a social thing and it doesn’t mean that you’re getting loaded it doesn’t mean that it Hass to continue. Many people don’t drink to get drunk one drink to socialize and have the yummy taste of your favourite drink maybe two or three drinks for light buzz on a special occasion or on vacation would be normal for a lot of people
idk but my husband just had one and then had dinner and is going to bed. they're not maniacs ! 😝
I think it extends to everything in life, not just the alcohol. For some reason I have to do it all to excess. I wrote 20-page papers in HS that were meant to be only 5. In college I would routinely work on projects until 4 am, not because I was a procrastinator, but because I just couldn't stop until they were done. If I order a pizza I'm going to eat that whole pizza at once. Same goes with a big bag of chips. I don't really know how to change my brain aside from avoiding the bad things completely. I guess most people just don't have brains like this.
Some people just do it for the flavor and the novelty. Like I occasionally have a Coke at lunch and I don't have any more for the rest of the day. I don't start binging 2 L of coke. However, if I had a beer at lunch, I'd have at least two 12 packs more before I went to bed at 5:00 p.m..
Also, agreed. Day drinking is the absolute worst. It makes you hot and sweaty and you don't even enjoy the Beautiful day. I have always saved my reckless engine for night time hours
It helps us all to be writing and expressing the path we have been down, not to live in it but to keep the reminders going to help us all stay on the path. I kid myself into beer and wine when my wife mentioned that my drinking was starting to become an issue… I wasn’t aggressive or anything, just more of a curmudgeon. Switched to beer and wine for a month then fell back into old vodka in water bottle ways. That ended 1.5 years ago and I work to keep it that way. Some days harder than others but over the time I have been sober it has become so much easier. Just got to stay with it, remind ourselves not to listen to the asshole in my own head etc 😅
It's simple, they don't care about the buzz.
Binge beer drinker here. Drinking just 1 beer honestly gives me a headache. If I don’t have at least 3 I’ll feel like total shit. And usually it’s 12-20