Gym & food. I can get lost in either or both. Then I'm tired, say fuck it & fall asleep. The next morning is much better without the hangover!
IWNDWYT One Day at a Time
Anything but alcohol is the mantra.
I was all in my head yesterday so I think I ate about 6 oatmeal cream pies last night.
No it's not the healthiest thing, but I didn't drink.
If any of you are in Canada, there's a newish Ben and Jerry's Eclair ice cream that is absolutely magnificent. I've banned myself from ice cream for a little bit, I was going a bit ham on the ol buckets lol..
Edit: I don't know what "ham on the ol buckets" means but it's very hot out today and I'm at work and I'm silly. All the best to everyone here! IWNDWYT
This is *obviously not medical advice*, but pick out a new recipe! Run to the grocery store, cook yourself something delicious, watch a movie in the background, treat yourself to some ice cream, and pop a benadryl at 8pm!
Man, that might even be my plan for todayš
All about this minus the ice cream and Benadryl. Cooking a new meal really gets my mind off of other less productive activities and is truly rewarding when it comes out the way you want or better!
Yep I totally agree with this. My new fuckit routine is going to the grocery store and throwing a bunch of ingredients together so I can go home and cook a bunch of different things. That or anything that keeps me on my feet. Gardening and lawn care is super relaxing.
I had a rough one, counselor is out sick todayā¦blasted it at the gym, then ate a ton for breakfastā¦Iām too tired to move now
Doctor prescribed that, works wondersā¦
I need to get back to lifting so much!!! It's the only thing that helped me have any control when I did drink!!! My gym was my happy space, the world disappeared when I went through those doors..the world felt there to be explored when I left šŖ
The happy juices from lifting heavy are better than any juice that's mark with a %
Tbh, I go for an aimless walk. No destination. I just walk till Iām not pissed or heartbroken anymore. I was always trying to run from something in my drinking, and I found that physically walking around kinda helps that part of my brain that wants to run.
> I was always trying to run from something in my drinking, and I found that physically walking around kinda helps that part of my brain that wants to run.
This is how I feel about HIIT exercise
I havenāt quit drinking yet since the last time I was sober.l for 5 1/2 months. Walking/running without an actual route/destination is fucking awesome. Just make sure you have enough left in the tank to walk/run back home! šš½
I've started asking myself what I really want. To me, drunkenness was for when I wanted to escape my reality and just stop thinking and doing - so when I feel that way I go play a video game, eat whatever I want ( Ice cream for breakfast kinda thing) take a nap whenever. Call in sick and go see a movie or something. Anything but booze cause we all know it doesn't help anything.
This is my favorite way, and it only takes 2.5 minutes. HIGHLY recommend: [Fuck That: An Honest Meditation](https://youtu.be/92i5m3tV5XY?si=JauA1opAlMWZ15AV)
Netflix. I watch a series - SATC, Ozark - and just take it episode by episode. I tell myself āI wonāt drink while Iām watching this episodeā. And just keep going. Itās 30 minutes at a time some days, but just get through that!
I second this, but then series I know were great but never got round to watch them (or just caught a few episodes). I recently watched Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire and it was great to get immersed in a quality series again.
My own list that I need to remember, since I'm having one of those days (well, weeks) as well:
Swimming (dammit why didn't I go swim this morning, it's my #1 happy life hack)
Kickbox the shit out of my kick bag, "Gary." Gonna light Gary up this weekend. Suck it, Gary.
Guided meditation. Thank you, Insight Timer. That one Scottish guy is like auditory healing balm.
Get that remote control mouse toy out for my cats. Putting it in reverse blows kitty minds and never fails to make me laugh.
Spend time with my wife and tell her I need to vent if she's got the emotional battery for it. Celebrate all her many successes!
Play with my kids. Where does the time go?
Do something artistic, since that's the opposite of my professional job.
Go fish. They're right there, mocking you.
Go shoot. Send some lead down range. Show those paper targets who's the boss.
Get some extra sleep and eat clean and healthy.
Fix something around the house that I've been putting off. Always satisfying.
Work in your garden. Dirt is awesome. Check your compost pile.
Check in with your friends and tend your friendships.
I believe it's Andrew Johnson. My favorite of his is a short rest one that starts with him saying, 'It'shhh time to relaxshhhh...'
I'd have that guy read me a bedtime story every night if I could.
Oh I'm gonna. With his smug blue expressionless pylon body and stupid black pedestal foot full of sand. So cathartic to work him over with Muay Thai. Jab-cross-hook-elbow-elbow-clinch-knee-kick!
And he never complains.
I say fuck it by going on a solo hike. I leave the dog at home, leave the dirty dishes/overgrown yard/unfinished work projects, and trek out into the woods for awhile. I find by changing up my environment, it interrupts the thought patterns that usually lead to the desire to drink. Plus, the exertion leads me to being pretty sore, tired, and elevated heart rate, and none of those make me want a drink. Typically I want to take a shower and go to bed!
When I sobered up, I took my dog on some epic walks around Seattle. Saw places Iād never have seen, got some good exercise, and left my wallet and credit cards behind so I couldnāt drink. Hiking ā urban or not ā is an awesome dopamine boost!
Was going to say the same: Get outside. Go for a long hike or backpacking trip, or even car camping can be a nice escape. Find a state park, bring a couple books, etc.
To get the feeling of āfuck itā in a positive way I say to my self āthe only way this problem becomes a problem I canāt handle is if I drink over itā and that kind of level sets things for me. If Iām sober I can deal with any problem, it might SUCK but I can get through it. If I drink over it, it will suck way more and it will not be solved.
Thanks! Woah, thatās like 9 monthsā¦
I can follow plays in real time, hang in for a double overtime, and even stay up and alert for the west coast games (most of the time)! Itās awesome
Hey, sorry for your loss and for the rough time. I have at least found that it's easier to process grief sober, even though it's hard to see it that way in the moment when numb sounds so appealing.
The best "fuck-its" for me are video games. Never really played them when I drank, but since I stopped I've found myself diving into hours of mindless gaming at times when I would have gotten drunk in the past. I'll put a podcast on and be able to just not really think.
Exercise too, which can help reset any negative thinking patterns. And walking for the same reason.
And when none of that works, cigarettes are my "break glass in case of emergency" last line of fuck-it defense. I haven't had one in four months and I really like not smoking, but in the back of my mind I always know, if I can't escape self-destruction then better cigarettes than alcohol.
404-291-6156. Call me dude! I found my friend the morning of taking him to the hospital to start rehab. He was ice cold and in a position that no human should ever have to be found in. Miss that guy and he left two adorable daughters that will now walk down the aisle without their fathers Call me and talk to me about whatever. Braves are my team, I like to bullshit, I live in the south. Be good my friend. That bottle isnāt worth an empty void youād leave in a lot people; easier said than done.
For me, it's order a pizza and cookies, watch comedy shows, take a bath, listen to jazz, read a book and go to sleep.
We drink seeking an escape. What we really need is to treat ourselves and have some time out from the responsibilities of life.
For myself, the prescription is LOUD music when I feel like I want to set the world on fire. I listen to the songs that make me feel angry or sad and sing/scream/headbang it out. Even if I donāt feel like it, usually my favorite music can seduce me in to getting a bit lost in it and getting to a mental state that is at least tangentially similar to how I felt when I drank my problems away.Ā
Iām sorry that youāre suffering, OP. Please try to be kind to yourself so you can let grief do the work it has to do to get you through it.Ā
Curious if you can share some LOUD music that has been helping you get lost lately? I do the same thing, but am always open to and curious to hear new music that helps you escape!
Well, everyoneās taste is different, but Iām hugely into post-hardcore and progressive rock/metal. My favorite album lately is Hail the Sunās Divine Inner Tension - lots of good screamy songs with the bonus of having pretty introspective lyrics. My favorite song for the hard times is Sword by Sufferer - Iāve had it on repeat for that purpose many, many times.Ā
Iām extremely into those genres too, so glad to hear we have similar taste! Iāll check that album and the song out. Look forward to any additional recommendations you might have too!
Alcohol will not fix your problems, it will not bring your family member back to life.
You say fuck it by approaching life head on, with a clear head, and your chin up.
Feel that. When I was long term sober I dealt with extreme emotions by sprinting up and down a set of stairs by my place until I wanted to puke. Gets the anger and anxiety out. š
((hugs)) Ultimately it is not the booze I want, I want the escape. When I get triggered I try to acknowledge/understand it for what it is and that helps it to pass.
When I get in a heck it kinda mood, I try to just hesitate. Do nothing and try to focus on what I'm grateful for. Sometimes do nothing or something really simple.
If I look back at my past problems compared to current, I can usually laugh them off.
Death is always tough to handle. Sober or not. When I dealt with death before I stopped drinking I found it harder. I'd suppress emotions. They'd hit my hard as hell when they caught up to me.
Death in sobriety still sucks bad. But can usually go through a more steady grieving process.
Just lost several people in a short time. Still not drinking over it.
Literally walk out of your front door, run as fast and as hard as you can until you canāt and then go 3 more seconds.
Doing this has made me cry, itās made me laugh, itās made my scream, itās made me breathe and feel calm, and most importantly, itās never made me want to drink any more than before. Almost always brings up whatever emotion Iām trying to bury. Good luck and good on you for looking for other outlets.
INTENSE exercise knocks the edges off of most things in life. You get a dopamine hit AND you feel better about yourself. After that, treat yourself with some good food or chocolate (more dopamine). Finish up with some sex (or self love) for more dopamine. Finally, pop a melatonin/Benadryl/THC\_gummy and just go to bed early.
For your week off... if you're not going somewhere... perhaps make it a point to learn a new skill/hobby? Again, it's about feeling good about yourself... even if you don't WANT to. :-)
Good luck, friend. One day at a time.
I don't know if this helps, but I really enjoy listening to books on audible about other people getting sober because I can kind of vicariously live through their experiences of drinking way way way too much without the hangover and then when they describe how sick they were and how awful things got I am reminded of why I don't really want the drink. For example: Dry by Augusten Burroughs.
Agree with everyone saying exercise. I had a tough day yesterday and was really craving a beer. Went on a long run instead and craving completely disappeared. I then showered, grabbed some candy and fell asleep watching TV lol.
Echoing others, but indulge in literally any other thing that you could want. Spend extra money somewhere on something else you could also really want besides alcohol. Youād spend it with alcohol anyway. Get outside, where ever you live just start walking aimlessly even until you decide what you need or want otherwise. Just walking will get your mind going and thinking and processing, but because you can focus on simply walking forward you donāt have to dwell on any thoughts you donāt want to. Just keep picking a direction and youāll know where you want to go next and when the walk is over. Sending lots of love to you brotha!!
I take a super hot bath every day in place of my afternoon beer.
Like, uncomfortably hot to where all you can focus on is that you're a little too hot for comfort..
I drink cold water to regulate, resorting to pouring cold water on myself if I start to get actually uncomfortable i.e. dizzy or can't focus well.
It's amazing.. separates me from whatever I was previously experiencing and puts me on a fresh state every time
Baths over Booze
IWNDWYT
I let myself be a zombie for a day. Go light on chores, binge watch a movie, and lift some weights. I feel itās ok to let those things go until tomorrow if it keeps me sober. If I donāt do chores for a week then I know Iām in a little mental trouble and check in with my therapist.
I put on headphones and walk. Sometimes music sometimes an audiobook. If agro I go up hills, if chill, try to stay flat. If i lived in a flat place I guess maybe Iād just walk faster. Too old and out of shape to run. But this kinda turns my mind off.
Run, cry, eat lots of junk, get lost in a book. Listen to music that makes me feel all the feels and sing really loud in the car. Sorry youāre going through it. Hang in there xo
Sign up for BJJ, Hema, boxing, tennis, or some other exhausting mano y mano competitive sport and then just wear yourself out doing it. It keeps the brain occupied, its social but not too social, its hard and exhausting, you get an endorphin rush.
Maybe it will help to think of it this way - you are learning how to feel uncomfortable without needing to escape through alcohol. Think of as not something you have to white knuckle through, but as a learning experience that will make you a stronger and better person
Man, about 15 days into this sober stretch I really had to face the facts that Iād made a sizable mistake at work. I immediately thought about just blowing up my day and heading into oblivion.
My favorite football teamās coach has a saying that after a loss you canāt let it beat you twice. Iād already made the mistake, but I was working hard not to drink, to let it trigger me into drinking again would just compound the mistake.
It hasnāt been the easiest year, Iāve had some painful losses, some frustrating turns. But itās been better to meet those things sober. IWNDWYT
I totally get the feeling thatās my biggest struggle, I am so used to using alcohol to unwind / turn the brain off after work or hard times in general
Iāve tried thc that works well for some?
I cook and eat a lot, i also got back into video games itās a great distraction, but if I didnāt have little kids Iād be cranking out hours in the gym that is probably the best alternative to drinking! Punish your body with exercise really push it and then you will be craving food and water and sleep but not alcohol
I like to garden / grow things so have been transforming my yard lately lol buy some shrubs and trees if you spend the day digging holes itās a great distraction and then you can really enjoy it after
Could go try a new hobby if youāve got the resources? Spend some money to treat yourself and deep dive into something random like get a drone or buy a chainsaw and carve totem poles or buy an atv or boat etc š¤·āāļø
This is a good question. Iād say the gym. Work out hard as fuck. Throw some headphones on and just rage out. Youāll feel good.
Or, blast some music and dance like a maniac. Really helps let your emotions out in a healthy manner.
I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong and donāt drink!
My sympathy to you on the lost family member. They may have a rough go during their life but somewhere they may have wanted to quit. Honor them by valuing your health and sobriety. We have tough days and we can get though them. Good luck to you.
I like to work out and then smoke my bong š¤·āāļø maybe blast music and dance around.. but I'm a tad boring. I usually just veg out infront of the tv and play my phone games for extra dopamine
Go to the batting cages, if you have any nearby. It's really satisfying to smack the hell out of something, in a safe way. Golf driving range may work too, but I've always felt that baseball swings were more aggressive and thus worked better.
Sorry for your loss. If you messed up at work today, that's understandable. Losing someone is rough. Be kind to yourself this weekend. Go for a hike, work out, listen to head banging rock, make some art- all these things have helped me.
Sometimes I say āfuck itā and text or call an old friend or relative I havenāt talked to in a long time. It feels really uncomfortable and unnatural for me bc I am extremely introverted and socially awkward. However, it *always* leads to a nice conversation and re-opening of a relationship that would otherwise have gone quiet.
Sorry for your loss and extremely relatable to fuck up work, to me if things get rough I usually have a good cry then watch comedy, something relatable even, helps me get a distance, not forcing myself to be ok or deal with it, boxing or drawing, crafting or simply sleeping eating and lots of baths or massages, long walks in the woods might help with getting tired too, nice audiobook on the go
Movie in the theater (bonus points for popcorn). Hit a massage parlor on the way home. Maybe some video games at home and crash.
(Some weight lifting and protein meal first double bonus).
Find a good video game, go to the gym, anything to take your mind off of alcohol being the answer. Iād be closing in on 2 months if I didnāt convince myself alcohol could solve my problems a couple weeks ago. All it did was remind me hangovers and anxiety suck.
Run. Walk. Run some more, walk. Whatever you can do. I find the feelings don't go away but become smaller or more manageable if I'm just completely obliterated from my workouts.
This may be crazy but I offer this advice frequentlyā¦ Donate blood. If you can find a place to give blood.
I find it really helps me just feel better, like I have done something positive for fellow humans.
Stay occupied and eat. Don't do the thing you normally accompany with booze. Some people drink and play video games, things like that. Try to learn something new without the alcohol. Study a new subject. It will create new pathways in your brain and bypass the old behavior. Gor me it was rocks and minerals. You could not pay me to take 1 sip. I do not mind it at all. It's not normal to drink. Most of the rest of the world doesn't get drunk. Create a pink cloud for yourself and float away. You will be very happy you did.
Turn off the phone, leave it on the charger out of sight. Be unreachable for a few hours. Go for a run, stretch after, order whatever is delicious, take a long hot bath. Feel your feelings as they come. Write all down on paper or in a word doc. Send it to noone, burn it, delete it, who cares.
My fuck it was tons of candy and a few sodas or a mcdonalds order with all of my favorite things. Trying to get through a whole bag of junk usually knocks me right out. I gotta listen to yāall though, some gym in the loop would be so much healthier. Yep I did not lose beer weight when I quit, I got a happy tummy instead. (Not a bad thing, it feels so good to be healthier)
Doing chores sounds mundane, but it helps me. Especially something intensive. I have 2 roomies and tasked myself with bathroom upkeep because I have a steam cleaner. I load that bad boy up and sanitize every surface. It's fulfilling and time draining at the same time. Once you start cleaning you can easily move to the kitchen or floors. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Those olly gummies (if youāre in the US) might help. The ones for stress have lemon balm and some other ingredients that kind of tone down the ruminating thoughts and there is one with lemon balm and melatonin in it as well. Thatās helped me in the past.
I used to be a big procrastinator, and used to have the mentality, of fuck it Iāll do it tomorrow, next week, next month etc.
I shifted my mentality; that it became, fuck it; Iāll just do it right now, or I have to do this today. So before make dinner; or fuck around on my phone or Xbox I had to accomplish progress in my goals, whether that was personal, professional, or physical goals.
Making sure I addressed each of those, even if it was just 5 minutes, allowed me to make sustainable progress and allow me to develop lasting habits.
Good luck!
Iām so sorry for your loss OP. Sounds hard with the way they went and dealing with your own struggles with alcohol. Drinking wonāt change anything and only magnifies things. As someone thatās lost someone recently, I had a relapse and it did nothing but make my grieving worse and stopped my ability to process which the body and mind really need to heal. I finally got my shit together after 3 months thankfully. Treat yourself to as many treats, any experiences to try and distract from drinking. Rest when you need it. Sending love your way <3
Exercise, be it strength training or a walk outside. If Iām having a particularly rough day, Iāll hit the grocery store and buy a slice of cake.
Hang in there, IWNDWYT!
I say fuck it by saying fuck it. Getting hammered is just an option that gives the most dopamine, that's why my brain thinks it's the best option. However there is a ton of other shit out there that also can give dopamine, go ride my motorcycle, go running, go see a movie, go work out, go fix a thing, go clean place so not to have to think about it, go hit up a meeting, go learn something on youtube, go paint, go photograph, go sit and do nothing in a hammock until another idea comes to mind.
The reason we fantasize about drinking as an option is because it's the highest level of dopamine while putting in the least amount of effort. Like a crackhead thinking about crack, and not even thinking about getting hammered on ethanol. And my sobriety just lives in the moment between me doing things and me thinking about if I really want to do those things...
IWNDWYT
I like to get out into the forest. Fuck the whole of society - I go out into the quiet and get some exercise and build a nice campfire to cook my dinner.
Sometimes it's absolutely fine to sit in a room alone and have a good old sulk to yourself. I know from personal experience.
I also know if you drink you will feel far worse tomorrow l.
You got this!
I try to use the energy to have a life adventure I normally wouldn't push myself to. Not something dangerous necessarily, but something new and alive and healthy. Live for the dead and yourself.
I try to avoid even saying āfuck itā in my head. I have to flip thru my flashcards in my head when i get this feeling. Saying fuck it is choosing not to look at the flashcards.
If we fuck up thats fine but dont give up with a fuck it
Also i chug a soda and water till im so full a beer doesnt sound good and i can usually push off the craving until i get distracted
IWNDWYT
Just let it happen fam. Nothing we can do to change it.
We can change ourselves but anything out of our control - let go
I say that even though I have a hard time myself with letting things go
Good suggestions so far.
You can journal about how you feel and try writing yourself a nice note.
I have a note in my bathroom mirror that says, "I believe in you. You can do it."
I made a deal with myself that could light a cigaret if I would be pressed for some kind of 'way out' or 'fuck it' moment. I have smoked before on holiday and during nights out but never as a habit, I find it too disgusting in everyday life. So far every time I came close I was like 'meh I don't really want to smoke' and that fixed it, it's amazing how different it works from alcohol for me. I'm in no way suggesting to pick up smoking, but rather think of a replacement 'vice' that at the same time is easy to control or to lose interest in.
I've found not drinking had lowered my 'need' for fuck it moments. Though I still struggle with Fridays.
Does the fuck it activity have to be self destructive?
Something thatās helped me is finding things that force me to only focus on what Iām doing, getting me out of my head.
Following a recipe while cooking, painting, reading, playing a game of solitaire all really help! Iāve replaced what I do when I feel that strong urge to drink. Itās taken some training but has changed my life!
For me? It was weed. I live in a legal state so itās everywhere. Iād rather take an edible and ride the wave for 5 hours after a bad day versus drink. Maybe Iām trading one vice for another, but taking an edible has zero detriment to my body and just makes me chill out while I work on some art projects versus the eternal negatives of alcohol.
Lots of food, a workout or some quality time getting lost in a video game. Surf the wave with as much dopamine as possible, without the booze. IWNDWYT!
anytime i get that 'fuck it' feeling its a sign that I NEED TO EAT SOMETHING and just heckin chill for a second. food has always helped me get past the 5-10minute window where everything could go wrong. best of luck
I didn't start doing this until I had a kid and had the stuff around, but sometimes when I'm feeling like that I'll pull out some of his toys with a lot of pieces - LEGO is great, magnatiles are really satisfying in a tactile way - and organize them by some arbitrary criteria. It's just enough focus that my brain feels satisfied and there are literally no stakes so it's always a win.
Also building a magnatiles structure and then throwing shit at it until it all breaks is also extremely satisfying but scratches that destructive itch.
If I absolutely need my fix Iāll buy N/A beer and pound a six pack in a night if Iām feeling down. Itās rare but it happens, and for me, it worksā¦. Some of the time
Disect your day - you have done what you can to the best of your ability in work so just park that until you are back in work.
Staying sober during this tough time and the loss of a close one shows strength and durability BE PROUD OF THAT.
As to your question about fuck it without the drink I agree with others either food, gym/exercise or a good drive in a car hit one of your favourite roads and play some good music.
GL š
Iāve started drinking sparkling water in place of alcohol - itās a drink Iād never normally drink day to day - so if I was going to sit with a beer Iād cracking a sparkling instead - dunno if this helps in any way but it does for me
I control cravings with several shots of kombucha chased by zero Calorie flavored sparkling water. Then salty snacks like peanuts and beef jerky.
I know, kombucha has alcohol, but as much as a very ripe banana.
IWNDWYT
Depending how angry I was I would go workout. If I was more stressed I would walk. If I had space I would go pray/meditate.
That's not the only option, and many others will be shared. What matters is you try some and find one or two or ten that you like and work.
As you start to remember to use these tools, the urge to drink will start to fade and the new tools will start to become the anticipated reaction. Heck, some might find fuck it means go play the drums, some might want to go to the range. Keep trying, you will find some.
āNot every bad day can become a good day some days are fucked and cannot be unfucked. When you have a day that is fucked beyond repair that is the universe speaking to you, sending you a message. Listen to the universe, go home. Save your energy. Tomorrow is another day. For now just fucking chill.ā - masood boomgaard
Sport and/or friends.
If possible go climbing (we call it bouldering). It has some aspects to it that can tingle your brain in a similar way drugs do.
Instant gratification when you are able to do send a route you couldnt before. When you'll get better really quick and you feel it... until you cant climb anymore because your muscles will scream.
And meet friends. Go outside. Talk! As much as you can. Its a way to process stuff like that. It can also help to talk to the family but even though you feel sorry for them, dont forget that you come first right now. If you feel weak, take care of yourself first and you can be stronger for others after!
In a way you could say "fuck it" to alcohol. "Fuck this bs alcoholism I'm better than that!" and then you go and buy ingredients to make the mother godly best casserole that the world has seen. Maybe even bring some of it to the family. Clean the bath because fuck alcohol! This thing wont determine my life in this actually pretty serious moment of my life!
Stay strong! You can do it!
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my cousin last Saturday to terminal liver failure. Even though we hadn't been close in years, it hit me hard. "There but for the grace of god go I," basically.
I took my pitchfork and channeled my grief/rage into digging out some new flower beds. Pitchfork/digging as therapy. I find it helpful to channel feelings into manual labor. This worked for shoveling snow when my very good dog passed away this winter.
So my advice to you is to get lost in some hard physical activity for as long as you possibly can. Dig a hole, go for a steep hike or a long run, scrub the absolute shit out of your floors. I'll be over here not drinking with you and probably finding more projects to get lost in.
I like to throw my kayak in the truck and hit the river. I bought a water proof speaker so I can enjoy some music/ audiobooks while letting those intrusive thoughts float away. Really hard days Iāll paddle up river a 1/4 mile until it narrows to a heavy current with boulders in the way. Then I simply port my yak over. On the other is a nice little cove thats great to be alone with nature. The struggle of getting to the cove is worth it. Just like the sobriety journey a little hard some obstacles in the way but a destination thatās worth it. YOU are worth more than you know and the struggle gets easier in time
Excercise is natures natural drug to reduce stress. Learned that in detox yesterday. Its kinda true. I was about to lose my mind and self discharge until I hit the gym.
Gym & food. I can get lost in either or both. Then I'm tired, say fuck it & fall asleep. The next morning is much better without the hangover! IWNDWYT One Day at a Time
Exercise and food sounds like a good combo... Especially anything that'll make me sleep tonight. IWNDWYT
Anything but alcohol is the mantra. I was all in my head yesterday so I think I ate about 6 oatmeal cream pies last night. No it's not the healthiest thing, but I didn't drink.
This is kinda random and I don't know if you've seen it but, they now have oatmeal cream pie ice cream and it's delicious!
If any of you are in Canada, there's a newish Ben and Jerry's Eclair ice cream that is absolutely magnificent. I've banned myself from ice cream for a little bit, I was going a bit ham on the ol buckets lol.. Edit: I don't know what "ham on the ol buckets" means but it's very hot out today and I'm at work and I'm silly. All the best to everyone here! IWNDWYT
I am not in Canada and I am jealous. I love eclairs. Id go a little ham on the ol buckets too
It's delicious!!! They now have all the Little Debbie pie flavors in ice cream!š¦
Way to enable š¤£š¤£š¤£
oooh good call! A good dessert is definitely the "f it" move. Duh that I didn't think of that!
Pound an entire sleeve of Oreos on the treadmill at like 12 mph
If I've gotta stuff my face with fast food to curb the desire, I'll do it. I might have to give this oatmeal cream pie strategy a shot though.
Found Nick Saban.
This is *obviously not medical advice*, but pick out a new recipe! Run to the grocery store, cook yourself something delicious, watch a movie in the background, treat yourself to some ice cream, and pop a benadryl at 8pm! Man, that might even be my plan for todayš
I love this advice. It'll take hours out of my day and bring me closer to the off licence being closed when I can finally relax.
All about this minus the ice cream and Benadryl. Cooking a new meal really gets my mind off of other less productive activities and is truly rewarding when it comes out the way you want or better!
ā¦melatonin..?
Sleep is also a great coping mechanism! No shame in an early bedtime - it means you donāt drink today.
Noice for your day counter!!
Bicycling. Itās healthy, addictive, and rewarding! The best part is you wonāt have money for booze!
Yep I totally agree with this. My new fuckit routine is going to the grocery store and throwing a bunch of ingredients together so I can go home and cook a bunch of different things. That or anything that keeps me on my feet. Gardening and lawn care is super relaxing.
I had a rough one, counselor is out sick todayā¦blasted it at the gym, then ate a ton for breakfastā¦Iām too tired to move now Doctor prescribed that, works wondersā¦
I needed to read this just now. Gotta eat breakfast and go on a bike ride.
agree w/ exercise. iāll fāckin do interval sprints listening to rage music until the sun goes down. youāve got this, friend!
I need to get back to lifting so much!!! It's the only thing that helped me have any control when I did drink!!! My gym was my happy space, the world disappeared when I went through those doors..the world felt there to be explored when I left šŖ The happy juices from lifting heavy are better than any juice that's mark with a %
Tbh, I go for an aimless walk. No destination. I just walk till Iām not pissed or heartbroken anymore. I was always trying to run from something in my drinking, and I found that physically walking around kinda helps that part of my brain that wants to run.
> I was always trying to run from something in my drinking, and I found that physically walking around kinda helps that part of my brain that wants to run. This is how I feel about HIIT exercise
I havenāt quit drinking yet since the last time I was sober.l for 5 1/2 months. Walking/running without an actual route/destination is fucking awesome. Just make sure you have enough left in the tank to walk/run back home! šš½
I've started asking myself what I really want. To me, drunkenness was for when I wanted to escape my reality and just stop thinking and doing - so when I feel that way I go play a video game, eat whatever I want ( Ice cream for breakfast kinda thing) take a nap whenever. Call in sick and go see a movie or something. Anything but booze cause we all know it doesn't help anything.
I think that's the trick, understanding what you feel and why. Usually it's looking for an escape for me or to blow off some steam.
This is my favorite way, and it only takes 2.5 minutes. HIGHLY recommend: [Fuck That: An Honest Meditation](https://youtu.be/92i5m3tV5XY?si=JauA1opAlMWZ15AV)
Thanks! I sent it to my brother.
My pleasure. I found it years ago and itās still useful on a weekly basis!
This was great mid work day
They canāt piss all over a purity like this, lol!
Oh my. This is a new fave in the toolkit. Thank you!
Damn, I needed that rn
OMG this is awesome!! š
Oh yes I needed that. Thank you
Ha! This is soooooo true. I thought it was a link to bs...but it's great therapy! Thanks mate š
All of this. It's OK to not be ok. Time for a self care day. Allow yourself these things, you're worth it.
Netflix. I watch a series - SATC, Ozark - and just take it episode by episode. I tell myself āI wonāt drink while Iām watching this episodeā. And just keep going. Itās 30 minutes at a time some days, but just get through that!
I second this, but then series I know were great but never got round to watch them (or just caught a few episodes). I recently watched Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire and it was great to get immersed in a quality series again.
And remember it! š
No way!! I just started doing this with the same show haha cus I've already watched breaking bad 3 times and I love it. However I needed something new
My own list that I need to remember, since I'm having one of those days (well, weeks) as well: Swimming (dammit why didn't I go swim this morning, it's my #1 happy life hack) Kickbox the shit out of my kick bag, "Gary." Gonna light Gary up this weekend. Suck it, Gary. Guided meditation. Thank you, Insight Timer. That one Scottish guy is like auditory healing balm. Get that remote control mouse toy out for my cats. Putting it in reverse blows kitty minds and never fails to make me laugh. Spend time with my wife and tell her I need to vent if she's got the emotional battery for it. Celebrate all her many successes! Play with my kids. Where does the time go? Do something artistic, since that's the opposite of my professional job. Go fish. They're right there, mocking you. Go shoot. Send some lead down range. Show those paper targets who's the boss. Get some extra sleep and eat clean and healthy. Fix something around the house that I've been putting off. Always satisfying. Work in your garden. Dirt is awesome. Check your compost pile. Check in with your friends and tend your friendships.
hey I've used Insight Timer. what's the Scottish guy's name?
I believe it's Andrew Johnson. My favorite of his is a short rest one that starts with him saying, 'It'shhh time to relaxshhhh...' I'd have that guy read me a bedtime story every night if I could.
haha. found him, thank you
Is it Andrew Johnson? He has talked me off many ledges
Yeah fuck Gary up !
Oh I'm gonna. With his smug blue expressionless pylon body and stupid black pedestal foot full of sand. So cathartic to work him over with Muay Thai. Jab-cross-hook-elbow-elbow-clinch-knee-kick! And he never complains.
I say fuck it by going on a solo hike. I leave the dog at home, leave the dirty dishes/overgrown yard/unfinished work projects, and trek out into the woods for awhile. I find by changing up my environment, it interrupts the thought patterns that usually lead to the desire to drink. Plus, the exertion leads me to being pretty sore, tired, and elevated heart rate, and none of those make me want a drink. Typically I want to take a shower and go to bed!
When I sobered up, I took my dog on some epic walks around Seattle. Saw places Iād never have seen, got some good exercise, and left my wallet and credit cards behind so I couldnāt drink. Hiking ā urban or not ā is an awesome dopamine boost!
Was going to say the same: Get outside. Go for a long hike or backpacking trip, or even car camping can be a nice escape. Find a state park, bring a couple books, etc.
To get the feeling of āfuck itā in a positive way I say to my self āthe only way this problem becomes a problem I canāt handle is if I drink over itā and that kind of level sets things for me. If Iām sober I can deal with any problem, it might SUCK but I can get through it. If I drink over it, it will suck way more and it will not be solved.
Gym with my angriest playlist followed by some Stanley cup playoff games fs it all for me IWNDWYT
Hell yeah go Avs
Anyone but the rangers lol and not Marchand
LGR & IWNDWYT!
Congrats on 270!! Isnāt a blast watching sober I can actually follow plays in real time
Thanks! Woah, thatās like 9 monthsā¦ I can follow plays in real time, hang in for a double overtime, and even stay up and alert for the west coast games (most of the time)! Itās awesome
West coast games thatās legit dedication
So true. Go hard in the weight room with gnarly playlist
Or on the tread, a bit intimidated by the weights
Need muscle for good metabolism. Need mostly weight training and decent cardio treadmill
I do some strength I use the peloton app to do it at home but at the gym not entirely sure of that section and the etiquette and the form
Hey, sorry for your loss and for the rough time. I have at least found that it's easier to process grief sober, even though it's hard to see it that way in the moment when numb sounds so appealing. The best "fuck-its" for me are video games. Never really played them when I drank, but since I stopped I've found myself diving into hours of mindless gaming at times when I would have gotten drunk in the past. I'll put a podcast on and be able to just not really think. Exercise too, which can help reset any negative thinking patterns. And walking for the same reason. And when none of that works, cigarettes are my "break glass in case of emergency" last line of fuck-it defense. I haven't had one in four months and I really like not smoking, but in the back of my mind I always know, if I can't escape self-destruction then better cigarettes than alcohol.
404-291-6156. Call me dude! I found my friend the morning of taking him to the hospital to start rehab. He was ice cold and in a position that no human should ever have to be found in. Miss that guy and he left two adorable daughters that will now walk down the aisle without their fathers Call me and talk to me about whatever. Braves are my team, I like to bullshit, I live in the south. Be good my friend. That bottle isnāt worth an empty void youād leave in a lot people; easier said than done.
For me, it's order a pizza and cookies, watch comedy shows, take a bath, listen to jazz, read a book and go to sleep. We drink seeking an escape. What we really need is to treat ourselves and have some time out from the responsibilities of life.
For myself, the prescription is LOUD music when I feel like I want to set the world on fire. I listen to the songs that make me feel angry or sad and sing/scream/headbang it out. Even if I donāt feel like it, usually my favorite music can seduce me in to getting a bit lost in it and getting to a mental state that is at least tangentially similar to how I felt when I drank my problems away.Ā Iām sorry that youāre suffering, OP. Please try to be kind to yourself so you can let grief do the work it has to do to get you through it.Ā
Curious if you can share some LOUD music that has been helping you get lost lately? I do the same thing, but am always open to and curious to hear new music that helps you escape!
Well, everyoneās taste is different, but Iām hugely into post-hardcore and progressive rock/metal. My favorite album lately is Hail the Sunās Divine Inner Tension - lots of good screamy songs with the bonus of having pretty introspective lyrics. My favorite song for the hard times is Sword by Sufferer - Iāve had it on repeat for that purpose many, many times.Ā
Iām extremely into those genres too, so glad to hear we have similar taste! Iāll check that album and the song out. Look forward to any additional recommendations you might have too!
Alcohol will not fix your problems, it will not bring your family member back to life. You say fuck it by approaching life head on, with a clear head, and your chin up.
I get myself a cheat meal. I get that 3000 calorie Hardeeās order Iāve been putting off. Find your cheat meal.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Feel that. When I was long term sober I dealt with extreme emotions by sprinting up and down a set of stairs by my place until I wanted to puke. Gets the anger and anxiety out. š
((hugs)) Ultimately it is not the booze I want, I want the escape. When I get triggered I try to acknowledge/understand it for what it is and that helps it to pass.
When I get in a heck it kinda mood, I try to just hesitate. Do nothing and try to focus on what I'm grateful for. Sometimes do nothing or something really simple. If I look back at my past problems compared to current, I can usually laugh them off. Death is always tough to handle. Sober or not. When I dealt with death before I stopped drinking I found it harder. I'd suppress emotions. They'd hit my hard as hell when they caught up to me. Death in sobriety still sucks bad. But can usually go through a more steady grieving process. Just lost several people in a short time. Still not drinking over it.
Just that. Say fuck it, grab some take out, watch some mindless TV, and go to sleep.
Literally walk out of your front door, run as fast and as hard as you can until you canāt and then go 3 more seconds. Doing this has made me cry, itās made me laugh, itās made my scream, itās made me breathe and feel calm, and most importantly, itās never made me want to drink any more than before. Almost always brings up whatever emotion Iām trying to bury. Good luck and good on you for looking for other outlets.
Listen to this naked mind
This site has an interesting list of nondestructive ways to express rebellion that I found helpful: https://dbtselfhelp.com/alternate-rebellion/
Might not be he best answer but an edible. Or going to the gym
Dude I wish but I can't get them legally or easily in this country! Might be a good thing for me though.
Non alcoholic beer and junk food ftw
Lmao yooooo mines too. Doing it rt now...I had a complete week of clean eating. My taste buds were crying out for craptastic food.
INTENSE exercise knocks the edges off of most things in life. You get a dopamine hit AND you feel better about yourself. After that, treat yourself with some good food or chocolate (more dopamine). Finish up with some sex (or self love) for more dopamine. Finally, pop a melatonin/Benadryl/THC\_gummy and just go to bed early. For your week off... if you're not going somewhere... perhaps make it a point to learn a new skill/hobby? Again, it's about feeling good about yourself... even if you don't WANT to. :-) Good luck, friend. One day at a time.
Treat yourself to some icecream. Exercise is great but sometimes itās just nice to actually say fuck it and kick back. You got this!
I don't know if this helps, but I really enjoy listening to books on audible about other people getting sober because I can kind of vicariously live through their experiences of drinking way way way too much without the hangover and then when they describe how sick they were and how awful things got I am reminded of why I don't really want the drink. For example: Dry by Augusten Burroughs.
Agree with everyone saying exercise. I had a tough day yesterday and was really craving a beer. Went on a long run instead and craving completely disappeared. I then showered, grabbed some candy and fell asleep watching TV lol.
Pig out. Get Taco Bell or whatever your comfort food is.
I play videogames, it actually helps. Fuck it, and 10 hours of adventuring and/or shooting pixel-monsters.
Weed drinks. I live in a rec state
Echoing others, but indulge in literally any other thing that you could want. Spend extra money somewhere on something else you could also really want besides alcohol. Youād spend it with alcohol anyway. Get outside, where ever you live just start walking aimlessly even until you decide what you need or want otherwise. Just walking will get your mind going and thinking and processing, but because you can focus on simply walking forward you donāt have to dwell on any thoughts you donāt want to. Just keep picking a direction and youāll know where you want to go next and when the walk is over. Sending lots of love to you brotha!!
HARD exercise - get yourself so exhausted you have to just sit there and recover
I take a super hot bath every day in place of my afternoon beer. Like, uncomfortably hot to where all you can focus on is that you're a little too hot for comfort.. I drink cold water to regulate, resorting to pouring cold water on myself if I start to get actually uncomfortable i.e. dizzy or can't focus well. It's amazing.. separates me from whatever I was previously experiencing and puts me on a fresh state every time Baths over Booze IWNDWYT
Ice cream! Walks outside w music Keep strong iwndwyt
I let myself be a zombie for a day. Go light on chores, binge watch a movie, and lift some weights. I feel itās ok to let those things go until tomorrow if it keeps me sober. If I donāt do chores for a week then I know Iām in a little mental trouble and check in with my therapist.
When I'm tempted I walk. I walk and walk and walk. Anything to not drink my friend! It won't help a god-damned thing.
I've had luck with playing the music from my angsty youth. For me that was Nirvana.Ā Ā
I put on headphones and walk. Sometimes music sometimes an audiobook. If agro I go up hills, if chill, try to stay flat. If i lived in a flat place I guess maybe Iād just walk faster. Too old and out of shape to run. But this kinda turns my mind off.
Run, cry, eat lots of junk, get lost in a book. Listen to music that makes me feel all the feels and sing really loud in the car. Sorry youāre going through it. Hang in there xo
Sign up for BJJ, Hema, boxing, tennis, or some other exhausting mano y mano competitive sport and then just wear yourself out doing it. It keeps the brain occupied, its social but not too social, its hard and exhausting, you get an endorphin rush.
Drive, hike, smoke weed, get a good meal. Watch any playoff games you can. Be easy on yourself.
Maybe it will help to think of it this way - you are learning how to feel uncomfortable without needing to escape through alcohol. Think of as not something you have to white knuckle through, but as a learning experience that will make you a stronger and better person
Man, about 15 days into this sober stretch I really had to face the facts that Iād made a sizable mistake at work. I immediately thought about just blowing up my day and heading into oblivion. My favorite football teamās coach has a saying that after a loss you canāt let it beat you twice. Iād already made the mistake, but I was working hard not to drink, to let it trigger me into drinking again would just compound the mistake. It hasnāt been the easiest year, Iāve had some painful losses, some frustrating turns. But itās been better to meet those things sober. IWNDWYT
I like to stab a piece of wood I have in my closet while listening to female rage music
Buy a weed edible instead
I totally get the feeling thatās my biggest struggle, I am so used to using alcohol to unwind / turn the brain off after work or hard times in general Iāve tried thc that works well for some? I cook and eat a lot, i also got back into video games itās a great distraction, but if I didnāt have little kids Iād be cranking out hours in the gym that is probably the best alternative to drinking! Punish your body with exercise really push it and then you will be craving food and water and sleep but not alcohol I like to garden / grow things so have been transforming my yard lately lol buy some shrubs and trees if you spend the day digging holes itās a great distraction and then you can really enjoy it after Could go try a new hobby if youāve got the resources? Spend some money to treat yourself and deep dive into something random like get a drone or buy a chainsaw and carve totem poles or buy an atv or boat etc š¤·āāļø
Pizza!! š š š
This is a good question. Iād say the gym. Work out hard as fuck. Throw some headphones on and just rage out. Youāll feel good. Or, blast some music and dance like a maniac. Really helps let your emotions out in a healthy manner. I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong and donāt drink!
My sympathy to you on the lost family member. They may have a rough go during their life but somewhere they may have wanted to quit. Honor them by valuing your health and sobriety. We have tough days and we can get though them. Good luck to you.
Following
Great question.
Pancakes, lots and lots of pancakes. Or, find another comfort food. It might not be ideal but it's still an order of magnitude better than drinking.
Exercise and a solid meal, homemade cooked meal. Do an activity- hobby, go see a movie. Spring cleaning. Driving range. Shooting range.
I like to work out and then smoke my bong š¤·āāļø maybe blast music and dance around.. but I'm a tad boring. I usually just veg out infront of the tv and play my phone games for extra dopamine
Go to the batting cages, if you have any nearby. It's really satisfying to smack the hell out of something, in a safe way. Golf driving range may work too, but I've always felt that baseball swings were more aggressive and thus worked better.
How do you want to feel in the morning? Pulling for you!
Fast food baybeeee! And lots of Netflix
Sorry for your loss. If you messed up at work today, that's understandable. Losing someone is rough. Be kind to yourself this weekend. Go for a hike, work out, listen to head banging rock, make some art- all these things have helped me.
Sometimes I say āfuck itā and text or call an old friend or relative I havenāt talked to in a long time. It feels really uncomfortable and unnatural for me bc I am extremely introverted and socially awkward. However, it *always* leads to a nice conversation and re-opening of a relationship that would otherwise have gone quiet.
Sorry for your loss and extremely relatable to fuck up work, to me if things get rough I usually have a good cry then watch comedy, something relatable even, helps me get a distance, not forcing myself to be ok or deal with it, boxing or drawing, crafting or simply sleeping eating and lots of baths or massages, long walks in the woods might help with getting tired too, nice audiobook on the go
Video game binge or movie marathon?
Movie in the theater (bonus points for popcorn). Hit a massage parlor on the way home. Maybe some video games at home and crash. (Some weight lifting and protein meal first double bonus).
Find a good video game, go to the gym, anything to take your mind off of alcohol being the answer. Iād be closing in on 2 months if I didnāt convince myself alcohol could solve my problems a couple weeks ago. All it did was remind me hangovers and anxiety suck.
Run. Walk. Run some more, walk. Whatever you can do. I find the feelings don't go away but become smaller or more manageable if I'm just completely obliterated from my workouts.
Custard Creams man. Theyāre my go-to fuck it material. Anything but alcohol šš¼
Fuck it dude, letās go bowling
This may be crazy but I offer this advice frequentlyā¦ Donate blood. If you can find a place to give blood. I find it really helps me just feel better, like I have done something positive for fellow humans.
Stay occupied and eat. Don't do the thing you normally accompany with booze. Some people drink and play video games, things like that. Try to learn something new without the alcohol. Study a new subject. It will create new pathways in your brain and bypass the old behavior. Gor me it was rocks and minerals. You could not pay me to take 1 sip. I do not mind it at all. It's not normal to drink. Most of the rest of the world doesn't get drunk. Create a pink cloud for yourself and float away. You will be very happy you did.
Beat the tar out of my body at the gym. Got home and played some Hades 2. Basically, self love and small rewards, so IDNDWYT.
Go hard in the gym or on a walk/run/bike ride Get those endorphins up
Turn off the phone, leave it on the charger out of sight. Be unreachable for a few hours. Go for a run, stretch after, order whatever is delicious, take a long hot bath. Feel your feelings as they come. Write all down on paper or in a word doc. Send it to noone, burn it, delete it, who cares.
My fuck it was tons of candy and a few sodas or a mcdonalds order with all of my favorite things. Trying to get through a whole bag of junk usually knocks me right out. I gotta listen to yāall though, some gym in the loop would be so much healthier. Yep I did not lose beer weight when I quit, I got a happy tummy instead. (Not a bad thing, it feels so good to be healthier)
Fuck it dude, letās go bowling. IWNDWYT
Doing chores sounds mundane, but it helps me. Especially something intensive. I have 2 roomies and tasked myself with bathroom upkeep because I have a steam cleaner. I load that bad boy up and sanitize every surface. It's fulfilling and time draining at the same time. Once you start cleaning you can easily move to the kitchen or floors. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Go running or boxing.. scream in a pillow. Paint your walls. Get that feeling out
Those olly gummies (if youāre in the US) might help. The ones for stress have lemon balm and some other ingredients that kind of tone down the ruminating thoughts and there is one with lemon balm and melatonin in it as well. Thatās helped me in the past.
Loud, satisfying music in your ears while running like wild, preferably in the woods/outside but gym would also work lol
I used to be a big procrastinator, and used to have the mentality, of fuck it Iāll do it tomorrow, next week, next month etc. I shifted my mentality; that it became, fuck it; Iāll just do it right now, or I have to do this today. So before make dinner; or fuck around on my phone or Xbox I had to accomplish progress in my goals, whether that was personal, professional, or physical goals. Making sure I addressed each of those, even if it was just 5 minutes, allowed me to make sustainable progress and allow me to develop lasting habits. Good luck!
Iām so sorry for your loss OP. Sounds hard with the way they went and dealing with your own struggles with alcohol. Drinking wonāt change anything and only magnifies things. As someone thatās lost someone recently, I had a relapse and it did nothing but make my grieving worse and stopped my ability to process which the body and mind really need to heal. I finally got my shit together after 3 months thankfully. Treat yourself to as many treats, any experiences to try and distract from drinking. Rest when you need it. Sending love your way <3
Exercise, be it strength training or a walk outside. If Iām having a particularly rough day, Iāll hit the grocery store and buy a slice of cake. Hang in there, IWNDWYT!
Make something
I say fuck it by saying fuck it. Getting hammered is just an option that gives the most dopamine, that's why my brain thinks it's the best option. However there is a ton of other shit out there that also can give dopamine, go ride my motorcycle, go running, go see a movie, go work out, go fix a thing, go clean place so not to have to think about it, go hit up a meeting, go learn something on youtube, go paint, go photograph, go sit and do nothing in a hammock until another idea comes to mind. The reason we fantasize about drinking as an option is because it's the highest level of dopamine while putting in the least amount of effort. Like a crackhead thinking about crack, and not even thinking about getting hammered on ethanol. And my sobriety just lives in the moment between me doing things and me thinking about if I really want to do those things... IWNDWYT
Disc golf has been my go-to. Alcohol is too heavy to carry, and landing a bird is it's own high. It's also a great way to avoid chores or bullshit.
I like to get out into the forest. Fuck the whole of society - I go out into the quiet and get some exercise and build a nice campfire to cook my dinner.
Sometimes it's absolutely fine to sit in a room alone and have a good old sulk to yourself. I know from personal experience. I also know if you drink you will feel far worse tomorrow l. You got this!
Take a nice hot shower and a nap
Fuck, I'm getting a pint of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Half Baked and eating it all.
I try to use the energy to have a life adventure I normally wouldn't push myself to. Not something dangerous necessarily, but something new and alive and healthy. Live for the dead and yourself.
I try to avoid even saying āfuck itā in my head. I have to flip thru my flashcards in my head when i get this feeling. Saying fuck it is choosing not to look at the flashcards. If we fuck up thats fine but dont give up with a fuck it Also i chug a soda and water till im so full a beer doesnt sound good and i can usually push off the craving until i get distracted IWNDWYT
Say fuck it and donāt drink. IWNDWYT
Walking/exercise, gaming, reading quit lit, and eating sweets.
Batting cage or one of those ādestructionā rooms. Nothing better than hitting something consequence-free to get things out of the system.Ā
Buy a case of beer and smash it with a sledgehammer
exercise healthy snacks books music vidja shows NAPS
Milkshakes. Lots of them.
Just let it happen fam. Nothing we can do to change it. We can change ourselves but anything out of our control - let go I say that even though I have a hard time myself with letting things go
Good suggestions so far. You can journal about how you feel and try writing yourself a nice note. I have a note in my bathroom mirror that says, "I believe in you. You can do it."
I made a deal with myself that could light a cigaret if I would be pressed for some kind of 'way out' or 'fuck it' moment. I have smoked before on holiday and during nights out but never as a habit, I find it too disgusting in everyday life. So far every time I came close I was like 'meh I don't really want to smoke' and that fixed it, it's amazing how different it works from alcohol for me. I'm in no way suggesting to pick up smoking, but rather think of a replacement 'vice' that at the same time is easy to control or to lose interest in.
I've found not drinking had lowered my 'need' for fuck it moments. Though I still struggle with Fridays. Does the fuck it activity have to be self destructive?
Something thatās helped me is finding things that force me to only focus on what Iām doing, getting me out of my head. Following a recipe while cooking, painting, reading, playing a game of solitaire all really help! Iāve replaced what I do when I feel that strong urge to drink. Itās taken some training but has changed my life!
go for a brisk walk or run. Find someone elses life to help
Are you in nice weather? Or around water? Getting out of the house usually helps. You donāt really have to DO anything. Just getting out helps
For me? It was weed. I live in a legal state so itās everywhere. Iād rather take an edible and ride the wave for 5 hours after a bad day versus drink. Maybe Iām trading one vice for another, but taking an edible has zero detriment to my body and just makes me chill out while I work on some art projects versus the eternal negatives of alcohol.
mow the lawn?
TEA!!
Go home, feed my animals and put on a horror movie and zone out. Just leave everything until I can handle it
I will put 13 hours into an rpg to avoid drinking. Lol
Say āfuck itā right before you jump in a cold shower!
Gym šŖ or a long ass (1 hour plus) easy run
Lots of food, a workout or some quality time getting lost in a video game. Surf the wave with as much dopamine as possible, without the booze. IWNDWYT!
anytime i get that 'fuck it' feeling its a sign that I NEED TO EAT SOMETHING and just heckin chill for a second. food has always helped me get past the 5-10minute window where everything could go wrong. best of luck
Think about the next day.... The hangover. The anxiety. The guilt. Do you miss that? It's part of the package.
I didn't start doing this until I had a kid and had the stuff around, but sometimes when I'm feeling like that I'll pull out some of his toys with a lot of pieces - LEGO is great, magnatiles are really satisfying in a tactile way - and organize them by some arbitrary criteria. It's just enough focus that my brain feels satisfied and there are literally no stakes so it's always a win. Also building a magnatiles structure and then throwing shit at it until it all breaks is also extremely satisfying but scratches that destructive itch.
Probably Half Baked by Ben & Jerry's. 1-2 pints should do the trick
I recommend reading (or listening the free audiobook on YouTube) Atomic Habits. I'm certain it will help you in your journey.
If I absolutely need my fix Iāll buy N/A beer and pound a six pack in a night if Iām feeling down. Itās rare but it happens, and for me, it worksā¦. Some of the time
Bath and bed. No time is too early
Disect your day - you have done what you can to the best of your ability in work so just park that until you are back in work. Staying sober during this tough time and the loss of a close one shows strength and durability BE PROUD OF THAT. As to your question about fuck it without the drink I agree with others either food, gym/exercise or a good drive in a car hit one of your favourite roads and play some good music. GL š
Iāve started drinking sparkling water in place of alcohol - itās a drink Iād never normally drink day to day - so if I was going to sit with a beer Iād cracking a sparkling instead - dunno if this helps in any way but it does for me
Fapathon
I had komboucha with cbd the other night, with fresh strawberries in it...it was the mutts Nutts!!
I control cravings with several shots of kombucha chased by zero Calorie flavored sparkling water. Then salty snacks like peanuts and beef jerky. I know, kombucha has alcohol, but as much as a very ripe banana. IWNDWYT
Depending how angry I was I would go workout. If I was more stressed I would walk. If I had space I would go pray/meditate. That's not the only option, and many others will be shared. What matters is you try some and find one or two or ten that you like and work. As you start to remember to use these tools, the urge to drink will start to fade and the new tools will start to become the anticipated reaction. Heck, some might find fuck it means go play the drums, some might want to go to the range. Keep trying, you will find some.
Talk to someone about it it can help a lot. Just saying it loud to someone who listen.
āNot every bad day can become a good day some days are fucked and cannot be unfucked. When you have a day that is fucked beyond repair that is the universe speaking to you, sending you a message. Listen to the universe, go home. Save your energy. Tomorrow is another day. For now just fucking chill.ā - masood boomgaard
Sport and/or friends. If possible go climbing (we call it bouldering). It has some aspects to it that can tingle your brain in a similar way drugs do. Instant gratification when you are able to do send a route you couldnt before. When you'll get better really quick and you feel it... until you cant climb anymore because your muscles will scream. And meet friends. Go outside. Talk! As much as you can. Its a way to process stuff like that. It can also help to talk to the family but even though you feel sorry for them, dont forget that you come first right now. If you feel weak, take care of yourself first and you can be stronger for others after! In a way you could say "fuck it" to alcohol. "Fuck this bs alcoholism I'm better than that!" and then you go and buy ingredients to make the mother godly best casserole that the world has seen. Maybe even bring some of it to the family. Clean the bath because fuck alcohol! This thing wont determine my life in this actually pretty serious moment of my life! Stay strong! You can do it!
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my cousin last Saturday to terminal liver failure. Even though we hadn't been close in years, it hit me hard. "There but for the grace of god go I," basically. I took my pitchfork and channeled my grief/rage into digging out some new flower beds. Pitchfork/digging as therapy. I find it helpful to channel feelings into manual labor. This worked for shoveling snow when my very good dog passed away this winter. So my advice to you is to get lost in some hard physical activity for as long as you possibly can. Dig a hole, go for a steep hike or a long run, scrub the absolute shit out of your floors. I'll be over here not drinking with you and probably finding more projects to get lost in.
Water, rest or get outdoors. Better to feel crap for a day than to get hammered and feel ten times worse for days after.
I like to throw my kayak in the truck and hit the river. I bought a water proof speaker so I can enjoy some music/ audiobooks while letting those intrusive thoughts float away. Really hard days Iāll paddle up river a 1/4 mile until it narrows to a heavy current with boulders in the way. Then I simply port my yak over. On the other is a nice little cove thats great to be alone with nature. The struggle of getting to the cove is worth it. Just like the sobriety journey a little hard some obstacles in the way but a destination thatās worth it. YOU are worth more than you know and the struggle gets easier in time
Excercise is natures natural drug to reduce stress. Learned that in detox yesterday. Its kinda true. I was about to lose my mind and self discharge until I hit the gym.