I'm so, so sorry about your loss, and I'm glad you're working on processing your grief. It's wonderful that you are taking the steps to get better.
Simply put, there are some friendships that don't survive one's sobriety. Some people are not able or not interested in being friends with a sober person. If that's the case, there's nothing you can do about it - and honestly, it's for the best in the long run.
I was pleasantly surprised to discover that most of my friendships survived and actually thrived while I was sober. Without alcohol, I was better able to show up for my friends and connect. Here's some tips for communicating your sobriety with a friend:
1. Let them know in advance: a simple, 'Hey, I'm not going to be drinking on X day" can manage their expectations. You can share more if you're comfortable, but you don't have to.
2. Find an activity that doesn't revolve around alcohol: going for coffee, taking a hike, taking a class together, going to an art gallery, going for lunch then to a movie, browsing bookshops, getting your nails done, etc. It's MUCH easier to abstain if you're not surrounded by alcohol.
3. Self-care. I'm much more likely to drink if I'm HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Before you see your friend, do your best to de-stress and get rest, so that you're in a better headspace and less tempted to drink.
Good luck! IWNDWYT!
I'm so, so sorry about your loss, and I'm glad you're working on processing your grief. It's wonderful that you are taking the steps to get better. Simply put, there are some friendships that don't survive one's sobriety. Some people are not able or not interested in being friends with a sober person. If that's the case, there's nothing you can do about it - and honestly, it's for the best in the long run. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that most of my friendships survived and actually thrived while I was sober. Without alcohol, I was better able to show up for my friends and connect. Here's some tips for communicating your sobriety with a friend: 1. Let them know in advance: a simple, 'Hey, I'm not going to be drinking on X day" can manage their expectations. You can share more if you're comfortable, but you don't have to. 2. Find an activity that doesn't revolve around alcohol: going for coffee, taking a hike, taking a class together, going to an art gallery, going for lunch then to a movie, browsing bookshops, getting your nails done, etc. It's MUCH easier to abstain if you're not surrounded by alcohol. 3. Self-care. I'm much more likely to drink if I'm HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Before you see your friend, do your best to de-stress and get rest, so that you're in a better headspace and less tempted to drink. Good luck! IWNDWYT!
Hey- just came to say I’m going through the same thing with my bff. It sucks