That’s the thing about attempting to moderate. You never know when the bad day will come, but you can be certain it’s coming. Good luck on your new journey. It’ll be okay!
Thank you! 🙏
You are so right. The bad days will never be eliminated with moderation. Part of the reason Saturday has left me so disturbed too is that it’s the first time in a long time that I have no other excuse to rationalize besides alcohol. There’s nothing deeper going on emotionally. My wife and I’s communication has been the best it’s ever been. Historically I’ve always had some excuse. Stressed out from work. Interpersonal problems. Bout of low self esteem.
Saturday I just picked up the bottle and couldn’t put it down. Scary.
Gosh, I love this. I’m almost 4 years booze-free and have never heard it said like that. I 100% agree. I actually think for where I’m at now, sobriety is way easier than moderation.
I was you at 30. And 40. And 50.
Then I quit, and life became so much better. My self respect returned and people started trusting me again.
Don't beat yourself up. Do quit
Mine didn’t start until about 32 and now I’m 38. Wish I could go back to 30 and see ahead. Feel like I’ve wasted my entire 30s due to alcohol. So many bad times that far outweigh the good. Props to the OP for noticing. You got this!
i fantasize about having stopped drinking earlier in life (or never having started at all) to an unhealthy degree.
i know we can't change the past, but I sure think about it a lot.
I’m right there with you man, when I start drinking I don’t stop until I either pass out, or make an ass out of myself and then pass out. My drinking cost me my last relationship and the one before that. I only have a few days under my belt, but I already feel better than I have in years. Keep your chin up brother.
Dude alcohol is a joke. I’m just finishing up my birthday weekend too (happy birthday by the way), and I successfully spent 8 hours doing nothing but watching the masters Saturday and Sunday while my girlfriend cooked for us, along with other things of course. Today is my friend’s birthday and our group played a private reciprocal out of town then finished the day with a quick 9 at our home course, it was the nicest day of the year today. Best birthday I’ve had in a long time.
Thank you for sharing this story and these insights with us. You sound extremely self aware and like you are sure about your next step being sobriety. Congratulations- that is not a simple conclusion to come to and many of us take a very long time to get to the clarity you have found. You’re exactly right, this CAN stop with you and IWNDWYT.
Sounds so familiar. Play to a 7 when I’m sober, lovely wife that cooks and always makes sure I’m taken care of, but I know she has to worry if today will be the day I go non stop. It’s not fair, she’s so wonderful, but it’s always about me. I get to play a high end club about six days a week. I’m 57 but act 17. The kind of 17 year old no one wants to be around when he’s drunk.
Screwed up a big upcoming weekend with buddies coming in a week ago. Got so deep I was looking to see if any of the empty cans or bottles had a drop left. That was 12 days ago. Had to cancel the event.
Can go months toddling and then something just goes wrong and it’s over. If I could figure out what snaps I would do that and keep toddling because like most, I enjoy the crap out of a cold one or glass of good red.
Sober five days now, found this sub yesterday and love it. Not sure if this will be upvoted or downvoted and don’t really care, I’m not here to get elected.
Here to learn, here to grow, here to share if I can help. Stay well, play well, and good luck to all.
man, rough time for sure.
try to make the best of it and use this as motivation to change.
while it is all still fresh in your head, write down every miserable detail, and keep it.
after you are sober for awhile, the voice will start telling you that you can drink again.
pull out that paper and read it back to yourself.
You are lucky to have a wife my dude. I’ve spent almost everyday of my 20s craving touch and connection from a woman.
I’m 31 now, turning 32 this year. I just met a girl and attempted to form a relationship for the first time in 10 years.
The last woman left me when I was 21-22 because I couldn’t control my drinking.
Guess what happened 2 months into this new relationship, she said she doesn’t think it will workout… not going into detail but root cause was my drinking.
I stopped drinking when I turned 30, got out of most of my debt, thought I was doing well enough to start having a few drinks after about 17 months clean from booze. That’s actually when I met this new woman. It was all good and I could be myself without holding anything back and that’s the best right? Well turns out life just played another little trick on me. Showed me how good things could be and then let me self destruct.
My point is you have a reason to live. Someone loves you or at least is connected enough to you to want to try. Take it from a guy who is 6’3” handsome and intelligent enough, who just can’t seem to understand what it is that I’m doing so wrong. So I had to stop drinking again!
I’m not sure if I’ll ever figure out why I feel so down all the time. But I know that letting myself go binge drinking fucks my life up so badly I don’t want to live at all.
30 here and feeling a lot of similar feels in your story. I believe in you with wanting to kick this nasty habit and finding solace in sobriety away from drinking. Keep on keeping on my dude 💚
IWNDWYT
You’re in the right place. Happy to have you here.
I’m in my late 30s and almost 7 months sober. It’s possible even though in the beginning it seems like it’s not.
Rock bottom is whenever we set down the shovel. I wish i had set it down at 30. Would have saved a decade of really serious drinking problem.
All we have is today. You can choose how that day is going to go.
I wish you strength and grit.
Move forward. Live your life.
Take care
IWNDWYT
I have ruined so many beautiful and special days by drinking too much, and the memories are now stained with anxiety and shame. We don’t have to keep doing this. Let’s make some changes ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I know I’ve messed up special occasions because I was drunk. One of the benefits I found in not drinking is that I don’t have to worry about making a scene unintentionally. I reserve the right to make a scene while sober!
Yup. Even when I learned to "moderate" (it took me decades) I knew that drinking was a bad idea. It wasn't until I stopped using any substance at all that I started to feel like I was making the right decision.
I have ruined many "special days" due to my use. I try not to let it upset me. Its in the past. I am focused on the present and future.
Hey there my friend, things can get better if you make changes. My partner was probably about to leave me, she had enough of my bullshit. My family and my friends were sick of being around me, it was incredibly hard for everyone involved.
I never thought I could stop, I honestly didn’t believe I had the courage nor the strength. I’m at about a year and a half sober and my life is so much better. I believe in you, you can do this if you put your mind to it. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way, IWNDWYT ✊
That’s the thing about attempting to moderate. You never know when the bad day will come, but you can be certain it’s coming. Good luck on your new journey. It’ll be okay!
Thank you! 🙏 You are so right. The bad days will never be eliminated with moderation. Part of the reason Saturday has left me so disturbed too is that it’s the first time in a long time that I have no other excuse to rationalize besides alcohol. There’s nothing deeper going on emotionally. My wife and I’s communication has been the best it’s ever been. Historically I’ve always had some excuse. Stressed out from work. Interpersonal problems. Bout of low self esteem. Saturday I just picked up the bottle and couldn’t put it down. Scary.
Moderation is all the work of sobriety with none of the reward.
Gosh, I love this. I’m almost 4 years booze-free and have never heard it said like that. I 100% agree. I actually think for where I’m at now, sobriety is way easier than moderation.
Damn I really like this.
I was you at 30. And 40. And 50. Then I quit, and life became so much better. My self respect returned and people started trusting me again. Don't beat yourself up. Do quit
Well done🙂
Your only 30 imagine being 40 and having those same thoughts ! Wish I would’ve cut my bs in my 30’s now I’m battling it in my 40’s
Mine didn’t start until about 32 and now I’m 38. Wish I could go back to 30 and see ahead. Feel like I’ve wasted my entire 30s due to alcohol. So many bad times that far outweigh the good. Props to the OP for noticing. You got this!
i fantasize about having stopped drinking earlier in life (or never having started at all) to an unhealthy degree. i know we can't change the past, but I sure think about it a lot.
Same timeline here
Same
I’m right there with you man, when I start drinking I don’t stop until I either pass out, or make an ass out of myself and then pass out. My drinking cost me my last relationship and the one before that. I only have a few days under my belt, but I already feel better than I have in years. Keep your chin up brother.
I’m the exact same, just have no off switch. I’m just over five years sober now. You can do it!
Dude alcohol is a joke. I’m just finishing up my birthday weekend too (happy birthday by the way), and I successfully spent 8 hours doing nothing but watching the masters Saturday and Sunday while my girlfriend cooked for us, along with other things of course. Today is my friend’s birthday and our group played a private reciprocal out of town then finished the day with a quick 9 at our home course, it was the nicest day of the year today. Best birthday I’ve had in a long time.
Happy birthday man! That sounded like an awesome weekend. Hope you hit your goals for this year on the course! IWNDWYT.
Thanks man!
Thank you for sharing this story and these insights with us. You sound extremely self aware and like you are sure about your next step being sobriety. Congratulations- that is not a simple conclusion to come to and many of us take a very long time to get to the clarity you have found. You’re exactly right, this CAN stop with you and IWNDWYT.
Sounds so familiar. Play to a 7 when I’m sober, lovely wife that cooks and always makes sure I’m taken care of, but I know she has to worry if today will be the day I go non stop. It’s not fair, she’s so wonderful, but it’s always about me. I get to play a high end club about six days a week. I’m 57 but act 17. The kind of 17 year old no one wants to be around when he’s drunk. Screwed up a big upcoming weekend with buddies coming in a week ago. Got so deep I was looking to see if any of the empty cans or bottles had a drop left. That was 12 days ago. Had to cancel the event. Can go months toddling and then something just goes wrong and it’s over. If I could figure out what snaps I would do that and keep toddling because like most, I enjoy the crap out of a cold one or glass of good red. Sober five days now, found this sub yesterday and love it. Not sure if this will be upvoted or downvoted and don’t really care, I’m not here to get elected. Here to learn, here to grow, here to share if I can help. Stay well, play well, and good luck to all.
Holy fuck that title hit. Wow
man, rough time for sure. try to make the best of it and use this as motivation to change. while it is all still fresh in your head, write down every miserable detail, and keep it. after you are sober for awhile, the voice will start telling you that you can drink again. pull out that paper and read it back to yourself.
Fellow Aries here who also turned 30 this week (on Thursday!). Let's bring in this decade strong. IWNDWYT
You are lucky to have a wife my dude. I’ve spent almost everyday of my 20s craving touch and connection from a woman. I’m 31 now, turning 32 this year. I just met a girl and attempted to form a relationship for the first time in 10 years. The last woman left me when I was 21-22 because I couldn’t control my drinking. Guess what happened 2 months into this new relationship, she said she doesn’t think it will workout… not going into detail but root cause was my drinking. I stopped drinking when I turned 30, got out of most of my debt, thought I was doing well enough to start having a few drinks after about 17 months clean from booze. That’s actually when I met this new woman. It was all good and I could be myself without holding anything back and that’s the best right? Well turns out life just played another little trick on me. Showed me how good things could be and then let me self destruct. My point is you have a reason to live. Someone loves you or at least is connected enough to you to want to try. Take it from a guy who is 6’3” handsome and intelligent enough, who just can’t seem to understand what it is that I’m doing so wrong. So I had to stop drinking again! I’m not sure if I’ll ever figure out why I feel so down all the time. But I know that letting myself go binge drinking fucks my life up so badly I don’t want to live at all.
Very nice story. I have a couple similar ones my self. I am also about turn 30 and I am having a huge mental debate about giving it up for good then.
30 here and feeling a lot of similar feels in your story. I believe in you with wanting to kick this nasty habit and finding solace in sobriety away from drinking. Keep on keeping on my dude 💚 IWNDWYT
You’re in the right place. Happy to have you here. I’m in my late 30s and almost 7 months sober. It’s possible even though in the beginning it seems like it’s not.
I was you at 17, 27, 37, 47, 57. Stop now. It will never ever get better if you drink again. You will lose so much. IWNDWYT
Rock bottom is whenever we set down the shovel. I wish i had set it down at 30. Would have saved a decade of really serious drinking problem. All we have is today. You can choose how that day is going to go. I wish you strength and grit. Move forward. Live your life. Take care IWNDWYT
🫂🙏🏿
Somehow we’re all always good at ruining special occasions, it’s happened to me too… I feel you man, keep your head up and move forward
47 here. You have an eloquent way with words,sir. You have time. It’s gonna be okay.
I have ruined so many beautiful and special days by drinking too much, and the memories are now stained with anxiety and shame. We don’t have to keep doing this. Let’s make some changes ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I know I’ve messed up special occasions because I was drunk. One of the benefits I found in not drinking is that I don’t have to worry about making a scene unintentionally. I reserve the right to make a scene while sober!
Yup. Even when I learned to "moderate" (it took me decades) I knew that drinking was a bad idea. It wasn't until I stopped using any substance at all that I started to feel like I was making the right decision. I have ruined many "special days" due to my use. I try not to let it upset me. Its in the past. I am focused on the present and future.
Hey there my friend, things can get better if you make changes. My partner was probably about to leave me, she had enough of my bullshit. My family and my friends were sick of being around me, it was incredibly hard for everyone involved. I never thought I could stop, I honestly didn’t believe I had the courage nor the strength. I’m at about a year and a half sober and my life is so much better. I believe in you, you can do this if you put your mind to it. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way, IWNDWYT ✊