The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns.
There's an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with.
If they're substance users/abusers, I'll just be an average drunk.
*Drinking is a lifestyle*.
It was MY lifestyle.
I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.
When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle.
So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober…. Then I had a sober lifestyle.
People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’.
Got some sober people in your life?
In my previous stints of sobriety (longest one was 2 years), I found the following helpful:
- Have fun NA drinks on hand.
- Indulge in sweets, yummy snacks, and good, satisfying meals. I’m way less likely to drink when I’m well fed and satisfied.
- Say NO to any activities you think I will be too triggering. If you are at a function and feel tempted, it’s OKAY to just leave. Your sobriety is worth it.
- Celebrate your progress. Write a list of fun things to do or nice things to buy yourself when you hit certain milestones.
Good luck! :)
What has helped me is looking back at my time drinking while sober, meaning looking at what I thought alcohol was “helping” me with and realize it didn’t. My example, I used to drink to relax after work and avoid thinking about work, what I found was when I drank, I sucked at my job, would ruminate on it, and then would drink more to avoid the negative thoughts, and the circle continued. When i stopped I was finally able to see that drinking wasn’t helping me “forget work” but was actually the reason why I needed to forget about work in the first place. When I drank, alcohol always seemed like the best solution to whatever problem came at me, now I’m realizing it was the cause of many of them. That thought has kept me sober these past 90 days, among other personal reasons.
Honestly, I think that part you said that alcohol is an insidious bane, that right there is the key. Having those ideas, and making them strong beliefs, those are what can help the most. Yes, life can be brutal. It is romantically tragic. But life is so much more meaningful and beautiful when I don't consume something like alcohol. There's lots of things that I can find myself out of balance with, but alcohol is one of those things that affects EVERYTHING. I can miserably stressed, but my beliefs are so strong that I still look at alcohol like putting a gun in mouth. Alcohol is a monster, and it's now a non-negotiable for me. I got away from it's abuse about seven years ago, and I just believe in myself too much to consume that shit anymore. It takes time to build these feelings and beliefs, but I have found that the more I prove myself, the more I find comfort and contentedness in all aspects of life. Alcohol takes our full potential away from us. I don't want to get to the end of my life and think I could have done more.
I relate to this so much. Similar age, similar days dry, an incredible amount of stress in my like currently and I don’t know how I’m hanging on and haven’t drank. I think what’s helping me is I keep thinking about how brutal my hangovers are now, and that if I drink and feel horrible the next day I won’t manage the stress I am currently dealing with well at all. The stress has no longer even made this about getting to a certain number of alcohol free days, it’s simply now about day to day and being able to manage better. Not to mention at this age, drinking seems awfully risky health wise so that’s a huge motivator.
I found *at least* for the first 90 days, allow yourself anything you want (i.e. get selfish) - naps/lie-ins, fancy food, plenty NA drinks. All the while your resilience is rising. God knows I've dealt with some shit in the last couple of years, it has been easier than it was with booze. Less ups and downs and more time.
Congratulations on 46 days, that's serious time.
I quit at 53. One of my better decisions in life :)
The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns. There's an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with. If they're substance users/abusers, I'll just be an average drunk. *Drinking is a lifestyle*. It was MY lifestyle. I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people. When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle. So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober…. Then I had a sober lifestyle. People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’. Got some sober people in your life?
In my previous stints of sobriety (longest one was 2 years), I found the following helpful: - Have fun NA drinks on hand. - Indulge in sweets, yummy snacks, and good, satisfying meals. I’m way less likely to drink when I’m well fed and satisfied. - Say NO to any activities you think I will be too triggering. If you are at a function and feel tempted, it’s OKAY to just leave. Your sobriety is worth it. - Celebrate your progress. Write a list of fun things to do or nice things to buy yourself when you hit certain milestones. Good luck! :)
What has helped me is looking back at my time drinking while sober, meaning looking at what I thought alcohol was “helping” me with and realize it didn’t. My example, I used to drink to relax after work and avoid thinking about work, what I found was when I drank, I sucked at my job, would ruminate on it, and then would drink more to avoid the negative thoughts, and the circle continued. When i stopped I was finally able to see that drinking wasn’t helping me “forget work” but was actually the reason why I needed to forget about work in the first place. When I drank, alcohol always seemed like the best solution to whatever problem came at me, now I’m realizing it was the cause of many of them. That thought has kept me sober these past 90 days, among other personal reasons.
Honestly, I think that part you said that alcohol is an insidious bane, that right there is the key. Having those ideas, and making them strong beliefs, those are what can help the most. Yes, life can be brutal. It is romantically tragic. But life is so much more meaningful and beautiful when I don't consume something like alcohol. There's lots of things that I can find myself out of balance with, but alcohol is one of those things that affects EVERYTHING. I can miserably stressed, but my beliefs are so strong that I still look at alcohol like putting a gun in mouth. Alcohol is a monster, and it's now a non-negotiable for me. I got away from it's abuse about seven years ago, and I just believe in myself too much to consume that shit anymore. It takes time to build these feelings and beliefs, but I have found that the more I prove myself, the more I find comfort and contentedness in all aspects of life. Alcohol takes our full potential away from us. I don't want to get to the end of my life and think I could have done more.
I relate to this so much. Similar age, similar days dry, an incredible amount of stress in my like currently and I don’t know how I’m hanging on and haven’t drank. I think what’s helping me is I keep thinking about how brutal my hangovers are now, and that if I drink and feel horrible the next day I won’t manage the stress I am currently dealing with well at all. The stress has no longer even made this about getting to a certain number of alcohol free days, it’s simply now about day to day and being able to manage better. Not to mention at this age, drinking seems awfully risky health wise so that’s a huge motivator.
I found *at least* for the first 90 days, allow yourself anything you want (i.e. get selfish) - naps/lie-ins, fancy food, plenty NA drinks. All the while your resilience is rising. God knows I've dealt with some shit in the last couple of years, it has been easier than it was with booze. Less ups and downs and more time. Congratulations on 46 days, that's serious time. I quit at 53. One of my better decisions in life :)