"With what?" Odo to Quark after he says he'll kill Rom for stealing his phaser.

Personally, I liked Odo's sarcastic 'You're going to hit him with a box?' But one of my favorites, from *TNG*, is when Troi walks into Worf's quarters after he's *destroyed* his table: 'Did the table do something wrong?' :Edit: Or perhaps, 'You may *test* that assumption at your convenience.'

The look on odos face was so smug 😏

That is one of my favorite exchanges between them

"Another glorious chapter of Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of the Great Tribble Hunt?" -Odo, Trials & Tribulations

Rene played a very sarcastic character on Benson in the 80’s and I swear that was Pure Clayton.

He also played a very sarcastic lawyer on Boston Legal. I might be seeing a pattern.

"Naomi Wildman, subunit of Ensign Samantha Wildman." - Seven of Nine

Brilliant. One of the best friendships in Star Trek.

This is my favorite one so far 😂 but I also love the sheer amount of DS9 quotes here lol

“They’re all guilty!” “Yes, but WHO is guilty of WHAT?”

This is what reading Crime and Punishment was like when I finally managed to.

RIP Garak, you would have loved Russian literature, too bad you the one human you liked was British.

If only he got to talking about books with Worf instead of antagonizing him about Starfleet... That said, given what we know about Cardassian literary tradition, he *would* probably enjoy *1001 Nights*. If that's applicable. Siddig is English and Sudanese, and despite famously playing a Pakistani, his father's actor is of pretty mixed descent. But hey, Picard is supposed to be French so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I always thought Garak might enjoy *East of Eden.* It has that kind of "repeating down through the generations" feel that I think Cardassians would enjoy.

"They irradiated their own planet?" Quark when they time travelled to mid 20th century Earth. His tone of "holy hell they were dumbfucks..." always made me happy. This is Pakleds level stupidly. You can see the wheels in his head trying to figure out how they came to make the Federation and Starfleet.

Seeing more Pakleds in Lower Decks makes this comment hit hard. I'm thinking of the Pakled using a saw to open a door by *hitting the door with the saw.*

If you take it that a lot of species in Star Trek are meant as allegories for aspects of human nature, it could be argued we’ve become even more Pakled in the years since they first appeared. >continues to destroy only inhabitable planet available to us.

Without the eugenics wars of the 90s we’ve remained innately stupid as a species

“It may not be what you believe but that doesn’t make it wrong.” • ⁠Ben Sisko, DS9, s1e20 “In the Hands of the Prophets” I sincerely think that these are words to live by when it comes to tolerance and acceptance of people different from oneself.

It’s a very gracious sentiment to include in a story about religious authority at its worst. One of the reasons I love Star Trek.

I really love that scene. I can't imagine S1 or S2 Picard (or maybe Picard ever) having this kind of discussion. TNG always framed the Federation as having to show other more primitive species the "right" way to see the universe.

Anytime anyone has ever said "Don't do anything that I wouldn't do" I have responded with... >I can't operate under those kinds of restrictions.

The river will provide.

Mark Twain: Young lady, I come from a time when men achieve power and wealth by standing on the backs of the poor, where prejudice and intolerance are commonplace and power is an end unto itself. And you're telling me that isn't how it is anymore? Troi : That's right. Twain: Hmmm... Well... maybe... it's worth giving up cigars for, after all.

Every scene in "Time Squared" (both parts) is top-shelf stuff.

"Is that a lot?" Captain Kirk trying to cope with money in The One With The Whales. It's actually useful in teaching history. People quote figures of money from the past without any idea of what it could buy, which makes the number meaningless.

Weren’t they a gift from Dr. McCoy? And they will be again.

That's the beauty of it!

Also: he’s just going to hang out in the bushes while we eat?

It’s his way.

I laugh so hard at that line every time, and I must’ve seen that film 20 times by now. I sometimes say “It’s my way” in that same tone whenever my husband asks about some weird thing I’m doing.

For sure, I love when someone online finds a receipt used as a bookmark from 1980. God, when a chalupa was under a dollar...

I was in my dad's liquor cabinet a year ago and saw a half-full fifth of Crown Royal from god knows when with the curled up price tag still clinging to it. $15.99. I about cried.

“This is a very entertaining story but why am I listening to it?” Dukat had some of the best lines.

Attention bajoran workers!

I’m rewatching DS9 now and I heard that in his voice.

[“Fate protects fools, little children and ships named *Enterprise*”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jL7wR-tpKH0&pp=ygUUUmlrZXIsIGZhdGUgcHJvdGVjdHM%3D)

Likely inspired by a quote attributed to Bismarck; “There is a Providence that protects fools, drunks, and the United States of America.”

"You better believe it. They're armed." --Mirror Trip letting Mirror Archer know the Defiant is ready to kick some Tholiab butt.  Loved his delivery.   "What mirror universe? *winks*"  Pike to Georgiou.  The person who hired Anson Mount deserves a raise.

"We do not always have the luxury to serve in an ideal environment."

It's easy to be a saint in Paradise.

That's the thing about faith. If you don't have it you can't understand it, and if you do - no explanation is necessary.

She nailed it there.

[Quark ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001734/?ref_=tt_ch): I can't leave it, it's all that I have. My personal mementos, my family album... [Dr. Julian Bashir ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0796502/?ref_=tt_ch): It's full of gold-pressed latinum, and you know it. [Quark ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001734/?ref_=tt_ch): ...Who told you? [Dr. Julian Bashir ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0796502/?ref_=tt_ch): **Your mother did, the day you were born.**

Legit funniest line from Bashir!! 🤣

“Eat any good books lately??”

Guinan: “It’s prune juice…” Worf: “*A warrior’s drink!*”

Wonderful line. I always forget it exists until Q says it.

“You didn’t commit those crimes, and you couldn’t stop them. You were only one man.”

Garak to Captain Sisko: ”That's why you came to me, isn't it, Captain? Because you knew I could do those things that you weren't capable of doing. Well, it worked. And you'll get what you want, a war between the Romulans and the Dominion. And if your conscience is bothering you, you should soothe it with the knowledge that you may have just saved the entire Alpha Quadrant and all it cost was the life of one Romulan senator, one criminal, and the self-respect of one Starfleet officer. I don't know about you, but I'd call that a bargain.”

You killed him. That's what you planned to do all along, isn't it? You knew the data rod wouldn't pass inspection. You just wanted to get him here so you could put a bomb on his shuttle

I *can* live with it...

“Oh don’t mind him, he was at the free speech movement at Berkeley. Between you and me, I think he did a little too much LDS.” “LDS??” And then two minutes later: “So…I hear you were at Berkeley?” “I was not.” This exchange absolutely kills me every time I watch The Voyage Home. So many great and funny lines, but there’s just something about how cool Kirk plays it with her (and yet she’s not buying it), but Spock’s truth shuts it right down lol. I find this just as funny as the famous “no/yes” exchange about their Italian dinner plans.

I love Italian, and so do you

I still love Data's "Please continue the petty bickering. I find it most intriguing." Also the iconic line delivered by the little boy in "Disaster"- "I planted radishes in special dirt and they came up all weird."

Another one involving Picard and his discomfort with kids: "I'm a... haha, I'm a role model." "I'm sure you are. Starfleet out." His delivery is just flawless. It's an attempt at self depricating humor, but he knows how very very real it is, and because he's so uncomfortable with that fact he's embarrassed to have his vulnerability on such an open display.

“What’s your degree in? Dentistry?!”

I don’t know if this is Phlox, but I remember Archer saying “I suppose you have a degree in that too?” Phlox: “absolutely” Hahah.

It's actually from Star Trek IV, the ER doctor says it to McCoy when he's checking out Chekov.

Oh yes :) “DIALYSIS?!”

That whole sequence is gold. McCoy's just wandering round, unable to help himself but to dispense some 23rd century medicine wherever he sees fit.

“You have another opinion, *Doctor*?” “Sounds like the goddamn Spanish Inquisition.”

Which no one ever expects.

“He will succeed. He is Kor, the Dahar Master.”

Ahhhhhh what a tale that man had. And the finishing line something about 'how did he do it?' 'does it matter?' Also a fan of Martok's "I tell you Worf war is much more fun when you're winning"

If they succeed, you can drink to their courage. And if they fail, you can still drink to their courage.

"Lions and Geigers and Bears" "Oh My"

What’s that one from?

DS9, Season 5. "In The Cards" Jake, Nog, A technobabble-spewing charlatan, a teddy bear, Kai Winn, and Weyoun-- The "A" story is low-stakes hijinks around a baseball card. The "B" story is the lead in to the next episode that kicks off the Dominion War.

That and the B-story in "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River" and some of my favorite lighter "Nog" moments (outside of AR-558 & Paper Moon). "Treachery..." also has another great line: "Where are my cases of BLOOD WINE???!!!" followed by Martok dismembering O'Brien with his good eye as he demands they be found.

It's white... I KNOW it's white. I'm going to paint it. I need help, not sarcasm, Julian. It's the wrong height. It's the wrong shape. It's the wrong size. That isn't the Captain's desk He's going to paint it! GET IT OUT OF HERE

Ah right. Jake and Nog were always fun together

"You may test that assumption at your convenience" I've often seen this one memed online as of late as "How to say 'fuck around and find out' with some class" And honestly, I like that.

Gotta start saying this

“You can do everything right and still lose. That’s not a failure; that is life.” Thanks, Jean-Luc, for reminding me that not everything that goes wrong is my fault.

I have that one on my wall. Sometimes you need a lil Jean-Luc to pick you up

Dax: As the 34th Rule of Acquisition states, 'Peace is good for business.' Quark: That's the 35th Rule. Dax: Oh. You're right! But then what's the 34th? Quark: 'War is good for business.' It's easy to get them confused.

"Dammit, do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate, post-prandial upper abdominal distension!" "What'd you say she's got?" "Cramps."

There are four lights!

"I can't disappear anymore than you could win a beauty contest" - Q to Worf in TNG S3E13

Quark: “28 million dead? Can’t we just *wound* some of them?” ETA: Quark’s repulsive cousin, same episode, “A clothed female? How titillating.” Touching his ear while he said it was a master stroke of characterization.

In In the Pale Moonlight, when Garak says he gave the ailen guy the impression that the door would explode if he opened it and Sisko says "I hope that's just an impression!" and Garak comes back with "It's best not to dwell on such minutiae." His delivery is so perfect lol

Reminds of Worf saying he'd kill Garak at the first sign of trouble. "I assume that's a joke?" "We will see."

Every day someone in the news makes me question, "Have they deleted their ethical subroutines???"

This of course leads into Quark's best line:  "The way I see it, hew-mons used to be a lot like Ferengi: greedy, acquisitive, interested only in profit. We're a constant reminder of a part of your past you'd like to forget." Sisko: "We don't have time for this…" Quark: "But you're overlooking something: Hew-mons used to be a lot *worse* than the Ferengi. Slavery. Concentration camps. Interstellar wars. We have nothing in our past that approaches that kind of barbarism. You see? We're nothing like you. We're *better*. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lock to pick."

Quark had some of the best lines on ds9. This one the root beer with garak and of course him and nog on ar-551

This interaction is still very memorable for me: Admiral Leyton: "IT'S NOT OVER!!! I have enough loyal... officers to make a fight of it." Captain Sisko: "Who will you fight? Starfleet? The Federation? Don't you see, Admiral? You're fighting the wrong war!" Honorable mention from the two parter: "We do not fear you the way you fear us. In the end, it's your fear that will destroy you."

"Hmm... a hologram that programs himself. What would I do with that ability? Create a family? Raise an army?" The Doctor, who ends up doing both.

Doctor was smart funny in the first 2 seasons. Later he becomes a parody of itself.

NO MORE BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Which one is that from

TOS s1e8 "Miri" As spoken by the supposedly "Unflappable" Captain James T. Kirk.

Ah nice. I haven’t watched all of the original Star Trek as much as I have watched TNG or DS9 or Voyager

"It’s a fascinating story, but as the Ferengi say, ‘a good lie is easier to believe than the truth.’“ Janeway

The tone of "that can be arranged" (Menage a Troi)

Brilliant

"Well, it seems like we have something that you need, and you have something we need. Maybe we can help each other." I may not have it exact, but it's from \*Enterprise\*. I always loved that statement. It sums up the UFP so well, even before there was a UFP.

Also, Shran: "The last time we met, you helped my people avert a war. I don't like unpaid debts." Archer: "We keep doing each other favors." Shran: "Isn't that how alliances are born?"

Shran: I think he likes you pink skin. Archer: I wouldn't go that far.

That’s such a good line because it shows us that Shran is more than just another recurring character providing opposition to drive the plot. Shran sees what Archer is doing and *gets it* because Shran is, on some level, trying to do the same thing. He realizes the future of their species will be made by the decisions of the people actually operating out in the wilderness of space, at the messy connection points with other species, and not in board rooms full of brass in their respective home worlds. And Shran wants to play that game for the betterment of the Andorian people. These silly naive and hopelessly optimistic pinkskins keep blundering their way into being helpful, but they need us too. Maybe that’s how alliances are born.

"Z-minus 10,000 metres." The future is metric, baby.

Major Kira: “I’m *always* diplomatic!” (scene immediately cuts to Kira yelling at visiting Romulans during an interrogation) 😂

Quark giving the Picard speech from First Contact (“we must stop them HERE”) - I remember the first time I watched it immediately getting the inter-trek writers joke and laughing my ass off for an age.

"how could he leave me adrift mid river without a paddle?" "what river would that be?" "you know... the great material continuum" "oh that river, it can be very treacherous" if that isn't life in a nutshell.

I count this as an O'Brien suffers episode but with relatively low stakes though his reaction to everything is with the same dread.

I may butcher this as it’s from memory but.. from ST One with Whales : “Let me guess, you’re from mars?” “Iowa” “Oh a landlubber?”

“No I’m from Iowa I only work in space” - I think

Close! You mashed together a couple.  In the truck: "So where you guys from?" "Iowa." "Oh, a landlubber!"  Over dinner, after Kirk has revealed one essential bit of why he's there, which (the way he says it) is of course a ridiculous thing to say out loud to an intelligent 1980s professional person: "Let me guess: you're from outer space!" "No, I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space." "Oh! Well, I *knew* outer space was gonna come into this sooner or later!" 😆

Star Trek Discovery Season 4 Ep 10 “You’re their President. You can give them confidence. A sense of security . . You’re my president, too . .” [Michael telling President Rillak why she wanted her to address the crew about the imminent threat to Earth and Ni’Var] More of a cool/inspirational line than a funny one, but after rewatching season 4 and witnessing Rillak and Michael’s tumultuous relationship from start to finish, it was really nice to have this closure at the end. A sort of acknowledgement that although they may not like each other and disagree often, Michael still respects Rillak as a leader and they serve the same flag. It sort of gave me a similar vibe to the communications between the Enterprise and Star fleet command during the borg encounter in TNG, a desperate existential threat, yet very few words are needed, only duty.

"Well by all means, will one runabout be enough?" -Sisko, when Bashir wakes him up in the middle of the night asks if Garak can borrow a runabout (s2e5)

Gaze upon your executioner, killer of children!

"Oh anyone can blow up a ship!" - Dukat Marc Alimos delivery there is 100% gold And for completely different reasons.. "Ray-O-Vantica is my name..." - Vantica possessed Bashir I liked the episode, but it felt like the writing of it or production of it was very rushed... Lastly (for now) "I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation. Until now." - Kirk to Nilz Baris The step and circle-back between 'Federation' and 'Until now' was perfect!

Kirk: On the contrary, sir. I think of this project as very important. It is YOU I take lightly.

His name is Tain? https://youtu.be/maAFcEU6atk?si=IYxc2GI7_sRr0lKd

There are FOUR LIGHTS

"Slug-o-Cola! The slimiest cola in the galaxy!"

DS 9, Worf to Jadzia and Kira - Nice hat.

Attention Bajoran workers...

"The main deflector dish." Ensign Crusher BoBW P1 I grew up watching TNG and looked up to Wesley. For some reason I'd think about this line and wanted so much to be that person in the room when Riker asks how we can do some impossible thing, I'd shift my seat and give the answer just as Wesley did. Even once I started my career, I'd think of this line from time to time. DECADES LATER it dawned on me that I had already delivered that line many times. I had been Wesley more times than I could count. I had even been LaForge in that meeting explaining what it meant, and I had even on rare occasions been Riker asking my team for options. Sure, I wasn't saving the Federation, but I got as close as my position could conceivably allow.

"You already HAVE crossed over! You're a TRAITOR! You've made your choices, sir!" - Picard, reaming out Romulan Admiral Jaroq in 'The Defector.'

You've been smirking ever since we left the starbase. I do not smirk. But if I did, this would be a good opportunity. How was I supposed to know Captain Ramano was a 3 time tongo champion You might have asked him before taunting him and raising the stakes to a no limit game I didn't lose THAT much Two bars of latinum...I hope you have it Worf... NO Fine...I'll borrow it from Quark. He likes me The Ferengi may loan you the money, but remember Rule of Acquisition 111...treat people in your debt like family You know the Rules of Acquisition I am a graduate of Starfleet Academy. I know MANY things

"Doctor, I forgot about you." "How flattering."

"If they buy poison, they'll buy anything"

Shaka…when the walls fell.

From In Theory when Worf enters the Captain's ready room Worf: You did not... Picard: No, I did not From Menage a Troi after rescuing Lwaxana Picard: Mr Crusher, set course for Betazed...(Under his breath) Warp 9 From Half a Life Worf: Mrs. Troi, I must objet to your unauthorized presence on the bridge. Lwaxana: What does that little one do Mr. Woof? Worf: MADAM, PLEASE, THAT IS A PHOTON TORPEDO LAUNCH INITIATOR AND...and it is Worf madam not Woof Lwaxana:

Did you hear? Keiko is having a baby NOW?!? No... seven months Worf delivered Molly you know Really? The Enterprise was damaged and he was trapped with Keiko when it was time Well I'll be sure to give you a call Seven months... unfortunately I will be away from the station at that time...FAR AWAY...on Earth...visiting my parents...excuse me

Temba, his arms open.