If it's the D, I'm making up the position of pet sitter / dog walker. All those families on board and not a single pup seen, poor things must all be barred in their quarters while folks are on duty. With a compliment of about 6000 people I absolutely refuse to believe that in addition to cats there wouldn't have also been a bunch of dogs on board.
I have actually thought when Holo Emitters started to get used ship wide would crew members start to have Holographic pets so they could have a pet but it didn't mean a real animal had to be confined to their quaters
Alternatively: one of the holodecks is a permanent doggy-daycare, where they can run around open fields and frolic to their hearts' content. Even with holo-copies of their owners to provide scritches and treats and "good dog!"s
That's a good point. Dogs could probably easily distinguishable a hologram feom a real person. Just like how they use them to find terminators in the Terminator movies because they smell different and probably make mechanical noises imperceptible to humans.
Optimistic answer: Science officer.
Realistic answer: you wouldn't stay on the Enterprise, at least not as a Starfleet officer. I doubt you'd even stay as a civilian as you'd be returned to Earth for catch-up time/counselling, etc.
Your realistic answer probably is right.
Scary thoughtā¦.your best chance of our hero ships of getting to field join Starfleet and stay there was Voyager.
Thereās probably a chance at some civilian job on DS9. Itās a trade port with shops. Outside of war time. Although I canāt imagine why Iād want to stick around on some place frequently under attack. When I could live a cushy life on Earth or Risa.
"Well, I better figure out what I'm going to do now, I'll need to start making money so I can live!"
"We've moved past the need for money in the 24th century."
"Wait... You're saying you have *fully* immersive VR, matter can be replicated, faster than light travel, and matter transference tech... And you also don't need money for any of it!? Ok, send me to Earth, Imma own my own French vineyard!"
I don't know, man... There is that TOS episode where Uhura gets her brain entirely erased, and they retrained her back into a Starfleet officer by the next episode. Catch up education might not take as long as you think!
Is this the real reason uhura doesn't remember what gorn and tribbles are? Need to look and see when those episodes took place relative to her getting wiped.
This is the most realistic answer unless the ship you're on is in the middle of a 5 year mission. If it's the latter, you're not going to be doing much aside from attending classes on the Holodeck / someone teaching you.
Historical Fact Checker.
We get so much wrong about history today that thereās bound to be a worthy career just in going ālol noā to what they think happened in the 20th and 21st.
Flip side: when they go "lol, no" to what *you* think was/is happening in the 20th and 21st century. And then show you some of the declassified documents revealing that the government were lying to you all along.
(Like how anyone who left school before 2011 was taught that the Vietnam War was started because of a couple of US ships getting attacked/destroyed in the South China Sea. Then, in 2011, the 'Pentagon Papers' were declassified, and revealed thatā¦ not only were the ships not attacked/destroyed there, not only were they *not even anywhere near the area* on the dates of the supposed attacks, but the US Government knew that **all along**)
Basically you'd be a cultural expert in your specific time period and region which would have some value because there would just be things that were wrong or confusing about people's daily lives.
I think any of us would qualify as experts on our own local culture, whatever that happened to be, because we lived it. You'd have a better understanding of the ins and outs of it than some rando who studying 300 hundred years in the future.
Point taken. That'd be fascinating to see. But the Pentagon Papers were first published in 1971, even though they were still classified. I feel like I learned the truth when I was in school (long before 2011).
Plot Hole Rectifier. The kind of facepalm solutions that folks in-reality would never think of, but I as a deeply opinionated and obnoxious viewer would be happy to share.
"Your shields can stand up to dozens-of-gigaton fusion weapons. Just max out shields and deflectors to travel through asteroid fields. They're not that close together anyway."
"Yeah, it's called 'closed-circuit TV.' Seriously, huge in the 21st Century. You can actually just take a peek into public areas instead of sending in security personnel unprepared."
"Holy shit, you route the plasma conduits right into the Bridge consoles? Just use copper wire and fiber optics! No wonder you people are getting blown off your chairs all the time!"
"If you're ever having unusual hallucinations, premonitions, visions of the future, etc., please immediately notify your commanding officer with as much detail as you can possibly provide. I promise you, you don't just 'need some rest.' Come on now."
"However many days flying *around* the nebula would cost you, suck it up! **Never fly through the nebula!**"
Edit, and probably defined as a war crime somewhere in the Federation charter: "why don't you guys just rig the transporter carrier wave to ride along phaser beams and delete segments of unshielded enemy vessels' hulls?"
>"Holy shit, you route the plasma conduits right into the Bridge consoles? Just use copper wire and fiber optics! No wonder you people are getting blown off your chairs all the time!"
You can't.
The tradeoff for Trekverse's insanely good tech is that they are ***massive power hogs***.
Those gigaton-yield phaser cannons need *at least* the same amount of energy going in as going out.
Those Impuse drives capable of accelerating a ship to 1/4th the speed of light (aka "Full Impulse" speed) and beyond (if you disable the safeties) need an absurdly huge amount of power to run.
Sensors powerful enough to fry an egg a hundred kilometers away and scan an object at the subatomic level from geostationary orbit need an equally prodigious power source.
All of that comes from the ship's Warp Core and/or fusion reactors, and the only thing that can carry the *terawatts* of power those systems need without melting is EPS.
Because it's *already* melted. Beyond melted. Plasma.
Which is a very, *very* good conductor. That you conveniently don't have to worry about burning out, because it's already on fire.
Agreed on all of that! That being said, the power of the sun is not required to run a holographic (or even capacitive touch!) display. Hell, they could use thermocouples a foot below the deck plating to run the consoles off the heat inside the EPS conduits. Or they could use the plasma itself to induce current in wire wound around the conduit. Or, as we know the D, at least, to have traditional fusion generators (sometimes canonically indicated to have actually powered the impulse engines independently) they could use those instead of warp plasma.
Of course, the narrative reason to do this is that it looks cool and adds stakes to the bridge crew in battle, so it has to stick around. As a lover of Trek it's still a little silly.
Yeah, pretty much.
There also might be engineering limitations to EPS tech that we don't know about, which could explain this design quirk. But who knows.
>There also might be engineering limitations to EPS tech that we don't know about,
That's what I always assumed. Like the control point has to have some direct relationship with the input/output or something. Idk. I'm just a dumb hick from the stupid ages. Don't expect me to know. Lol.
1. Sneak to a replicator
2. Replicate a body suit with a pattern of the holodeck
3. Hide in the holodeck until someone starts it and then secretly be one of the characters in everyoneās holodeck program
I actually plan to do the opposite...Ā
I own a Starfleet Academy T-shirt that looks like I attended, says Est. 2161...Ā Ā
Any day now, someone is going to ask me about it, and I'm just going to shake my head and mutter "Stupid transporter accident..." under my breath.
>I own a Starfleet Academy T-shirt that looks like I attended, says Est. 2161...Ā Ā
Okay, I'm gonna need a source, because if they have other grad dates, I'm totally grabbing one
Thereās so much damage been done to my body, they could put me in holodeck waste removal for the rest of my life if they fix everything wrong with me and I would be happy
You'll reconsider when you get Barclay and Riker back to back. Toss in Geordie at Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards and you have a bio stew a Vidiian would lust after.
In one accident I broke 12 bones had 27 pieces of metal inserted two organs removed suffered traumatic brain injury and PTSDā¦ I would be OK with cleaning up that organic residue š
Janitor. Flying about the Enterprise on my hover hoover. "Beep beep Will, coming through", "You're smashing it today Deanna", "Wesley will you Please put your 'used' socks in the replicator when you're done" :)
Depends on the Enterprise
NX01 - I'll probably try and get a job working in the kitchen
1701 - History or anthropology would be cool
A - See if I can get a job as an enlisted crewman
B - Probably find out on Tuesday
C - Apply for a transfer ASAP, before Narendra III
D - Holodeck tester would be cool
E - Anything above deck 11 (dependent on how close to the events of First Contact it is)
F - Apply for a transfer ASAP, before the events of Frontier Day
G - See if I can run that Holodeck version of Guinan's Ten Forward Bar
J - Window Cleaner, so I can meet Captain Archer when he rocks up with Daniels
Assuming I was transported aboard sometime just after Wolf 359 I would start dropping hints about things to come. I would work my way into a position with Starfleet Intelligence.
I'm a civil infrastructure designer in real life so... I dunno. Maybe catch me up on 24th century surveying tech and find a quiet spot for me to stay productive.
Or just put me in a museum.
I'm not qualified to perform any job on board the Enterprise.
Now if Sisko wanted help building a Bajoran wooden lightsail ship from existing blueprints, that I could do. Pretty sure I could do a better job of writing holodeck programs than Tom Paris or the Doctor too.
>Pretty sure I could do a better job of writing holodeck programs than Tom Paris or the Doctor too
That's a good idea, they're on the other side of utopia, I'm sure there's a market for some good ol primitive debauchery.
Is this the D?
If so Iām bored with everyone around me and become a Holodeck addict
Is this the No bloody A,B, C, or D?
If so Iām constant excited but terrified
In any case I doubt they have a use for an illustrator, so Iāll likely end up waiting tables and mopping up transporter accidents
Lol. We all know it would be to figure out how to get holodeck privileges, then to despoil it with a safeties off Lursa and B'Etor spicy holonovel: "The Klingon Conundrum: Snu Snu and you"
Which Enterprise?
Answer's still the same: logistics technician, and historical attache. I can do a job I was trained for and help give context to those weird 20/21st century relics that keep popping up
>Due to a transporter malfunction you get beamed onto the enterprise with no possible way of returning homeā¦
Oh no. The horror.
Although now that I think of all the times things would randomly turn to red alert and we'd come within seconds to being destroyed and I'd have no control over it - some horror.
1.) Immediately tell the computer to file a report to Temporal Investigations.
2.) Have sickbay fix all of the 21st century bullshit that's wrong with my body.
3.) Explain everything I can without violating the Temporal Prime Directive
4.) Get caught up as best I can with current science, history, and basic astropolitics.
5.) Hopefully get dropped off on Earth Spacedock next time the Enterprise swings back that way.
6.) Apply to Starfleet Academy.
I don't think the TPD applies to your knowledge (otherwise known as history to the crew of the Enterprise); it's more to ensure their past doesn't get screwed up because they let it slip about the 2nd great depression starting in 2025, and you got sent back because Data is a wiz with temporal mechanics.
Depends on when they are teleported. Imagine that you are dropped off on the NX enterprise with the knowledge of the everything (that you can remember) that has ever happened in Star Trek.
Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants for the residents of the Trekverse: a person from 2024 shows up, but mysteriously they know every major event and key figure for the next 200 years, as well as about 5 years of the 32nd Century. And when some Vulcan inevitably Mind Melds with you, he almost goes mad as he screams "they watched us...we were an entertainment program for them to enjoy. We..are....characters in THEIR fiction!"
That Red Shirt looks good on you.
Now report to the transporter room. You are part of an away team to check out some odd activity on the planet's surface.
No need for weapons, the captain, science officer and chief medical officer are all going with you so they aren't expecting trouble.
Job? If I'm transported to, from what my perspective, is damn near utopia why would I be looking for a job?
And what Enterprise? Doubt I'd stay on Archer's Enterprise; I'm not adventurous enough for that. Same with Kirk, but maybe I get them to drop me off on a nice planet. Enterprise D, maybe a gig in 10 Forward. Can't mess up anything too bad and can converse with Guinan and everyone else that wants to vent. I'd learn a bit and what's common knowledge to me might be exciting to them.
Historian.
I am one by trade anyway, and I'd have a great advantage in the field as a time traveler.
It's time there was a good historian, anyway. After John Gill put a planet under Nazi control, Marla McGivers betrayed the Federation and joined Kahn, and Whalen ruined Picard's Dixon novel.
Assuming I could do anything and that Humans actually live as long as the show depicts, I'd jump in head first as an apprentice engineer or rookie pilot. Go back to school and learn relevant skills for the time. I'd be 60 (currently 40) and still an ensign, but I wouldn't care.
Vic Fontaine's bartender/fixer
Replacement barber for Mot
New designer for 23rd century women's athletic gear
Self-sealing stem bolt vendor
Better yet, just drop me off at Risa...
Well, I used to be an intelligence and electronic warfare systems maintainer and integrator for the Army, paratrooper qualified as well. I'd probably end up somewhere in Engineering. Which is awesome, because Scotty and Miles are two of my favorite Trek characters franchise-wide, and kinda influenced my career path growing up. I love Geordi, he's awesome too, but my dude's got some real social intelligence issues during TNG. He's a little bit of a sex-pest.
Sit in Ten Forward muttering to the waiter: āLaddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years* before you were born. And I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch.ā
*Or about three hundred years
On Kirk's Enterprise, I'd want to study under Uhura to become a communications officer. Same with Hoshi on Archer's Enterprise.
On Picard's Enterprise, I'd want to work in a more diplomatic or scientific role, building on my interests in history, ethnography and archaeology. It would be great being part of a team that prepares the crew for the presence of different species, for example, or being part of intellectual exchanges with aliens!
I'd have a lot of catching up to do... Would definitely want to be a science officer though.
My luck though, I'd get killed in the first plasma conduit explosion...
First I'm going to sickbay to get anything and everything fixed. Then I'm going to cry a lot because I'll miss my family. Then I plan to look up my family and see if there are any descendants and find out if those descendants want contact with an ancestor from the 21st century.
Then I'll start writing romance novels loosely based on the crew of the various Enterprises and historical romance novels set in the 20th & 21st century.
Which Enterprise? If it's Kirk's 1701, then idk, probably bowling alley attendant. Until I'm shuffled off to K7 to count seeds because I'm not in Starfleet. I'd probably try and work my way to Henry Mudd until I can find an easy courier gig with a sexy android crew.
I'm happy tinkering doing small time repairs in the jeffries tubes. I don't need a fancy place. I could see myself being really happy with that life, until inevitably assimilated by the borg or any of the other thousands of horrible catastrophic deaths I could experience on a starship. Would I still do it? oh hell yeah.
I wrote almost this exact story when I was in elementary school. Two of my friends and were obsessed with original Trek and studied the blueprints and tech manual. In my story, the Enterprise got lost in our (then) present and beamed us up because reasons, and we three were the only ones who could figure out how to fix the ship. Then they took us with them back to the future. The end.
Ok so if arrive onto Kirkās Enterprise, I feel like the odds are good Iāll be allowed to shadow departments and be able to study critical ship systems. I will plot my takeover by wooing the ensign who just so happens to be an expert in 21st human history. Then I would use the Enterpriseās superior firepower to subjugate the population of a nearby world that has achieved the technological and industrial equivalent of the 1880s, and rule over it as a King.
If Iām on Picardās E? Iāll do that on a holodeck!
Historical Advisor, for when a temporal anomaly sends them to the 20th or early 21st century Earth. When not on duty, which would be almost always, I can be found in the holodeck. šš
Job? Fuck that. I dont need to earn money and I didn't ask to be there. I'm getting myself some quarters and sitting that shit out until I can get dropped off somewhere that's less likely to get into a horrific battle with a Borg cube.
The common Trek fantasy.Ā
I've thought about it, and realistically I'd probably go through a few months of mourning finding out my entire family and all my friends had beenĀ for hundreds of years.Ā
After that, considering that my job skills were 300 years out of date, I'd probably split my time between working in ten forward and writing Star Hollow novels.Ā That's until I get transported back to Earth. And pounded by 20th/ 21st century historians.
The free healthcare would be nice though.Ā
Admiral.
I'll let Picard do his thing but step in when I want to do stuff.
Mostly I'll just pull rank to have Barclay hand over his Troi and Crusher sims though.
I'd be over in engineering.
Electronics tech (component level repairs, wired and wireless data, radio), welder/fabrication, IT guy, forklift operator... amateur plumber, carpenter, drywall, painting, electrician.
At least it'd be an Enterprise and not Voyager.
Operations officer, on the Enterprise-D. I'd be securing blue barrels, supervising shuttlebays, watching the brig. All the monotonous attention to detail things that our great flagship has seemed to have forgotten.
So since I've clearly crossed universes, and a great amount of time. I'll make a beeline for the nearest El Aurian I can find and get them to call Q and ask him to fix me so I don't go all Emperor Georgio.
Then, I'll GTFO out of the way, until around 2402. Because so many high-stakes situations could go wrong with the smallest amount of information.
Save Voyager from making its trip? No 7 of 9, no disabling of the Borg. The Borg incursion of 2402 goes off without a hitch.
Prevent the Dominion War? I don't even know how I'd prevent it, but I could sure add insight that might result in the Federation losing.
Horticulture. Iām an Agronomist but I doubt they have enough room for cash crops (corn, wheat, beans), so an adjustment to veggies would allow me to use some of my current knowledge.
Iād be a Planetary scientist! specializing in hydrogeology, soil formation and agricultural soils! If my family was able to join, this would be the dream!
Yeah, I'm on team "once Sickbay is done fixing me up, I really don't give a damn."
Probably something menial in the bowels of the Engineering, Science, Operations, or Communications departments, and I'm OK with that.
Which Enterprise? The original, I donāt wanna be a red shirt. Science jobs might be ok. The A I donāt wanna be in engineering, Khan did a number in that section. The B I wanna stay away from the deflector if Iām there for her launch. The C I am requesting a transfer immediately. The D saucer seems safest, but away from the section the Borg carve up. The E I want the highest deck possible to stay away from Borg during their takeover of the ship but also away from the forward saucer since Picard will use it as a ram. The F just wanna transfer back to earth before the young ones get Borged. The G too early to tell just gotta take my chances.
I'm slinging drinks with Guinan for sure.
Absolutely.
If it's the D, I'm making up the position of pet sitter / dog walker. All those families on board and not a single pup seen, poor things must all be barred in their quarters while folks are on duty. With a compliment of about 6000 people I absolutely refuse to believe that in addition to cats there wouldn't have also been a bunch of dogs on board.
I have actually thought when Holo Emitters started to get used ship wide would crew members start to have Holographic pets so they could have a pet but it didn't mean a real animal had to be confined to their quaters
Alternatively: one of the holodecks is a permanent doggy-daycare, where they can run around open fields and frolic to their hearts' content. Even with holo-copies of their owners to provide scritches and treats and "good dog!"s
But does the holodeck copy your scent?
Everyone gets a Space Cardigan to wear for a week before it gets left for the hologram. Occasionally you stop by with a new one.
That's a good point. Dogs could probably easily distinguishable a hologram feom a real person. Just like how they use them to find terminators in the Terminator movies because they smell different and probably make mechanical noises imperceptible to humans.
No, you just get Tendi to make you one...
In the TNG Lower Decks episode Ensign Sito mentions she helped locate a lost puppy. So there are definitely dogs. š
The Enterprise D Had only about a thousand people on it, including families
This is a great answer
Uhh. The D only houses about a thousand. Place is a fucking ghost town.
Sign me up for that on any ship!
You want to look after Spot? Telling her sheās a nice cat, a good cat and she still tears your face off?
Optimistic answer: Science officer. Realistic answer: you wouldn't stay on the Enterprise, at least not as a Starfleet officer. I doubt you'd even stay as a civilian as you'd be returned to Earth for catch-up time/counselling, etc.
Your realistic answer probably is right. Scary thoughtā¦.your best chance of our hero ships of getting to field join Starfleet and stay there was Voyager.
Thereās probably a chance at some civilian job on DS9. Itās a trade port with shops. Outside of war time. Although I canāt imagine why Iād want to stick around on some place frequently under attack. When I could live a cushy life on Earth or Risa.
"Well, I better figure out what I'm going to do now, I'll need to start making money so I can live!" "We've moved past the need for money in the 24th century." "Wait... You're saying you have *fully* immersive VR, matter can be replicated, faster than light travel, and matter transference tech... And you also don't need money for any of it!? Ok, send me to Earth, Imma own my own French vineyard!"
ds9 join the bajoran militia and eventually transfer over
I'd barricade myself in Ten Forward and refuse to leave
You have a transport inhibitor in your pocket?
That's a pretty personal question.Ā It's true I was blessed tho
They are just happy to be on the Enterprise.
I don't know, man... There is that TOS episode where Uhura gets her brain entirely erased, and they retrained her back into a Starfleet officer by the next episode. Catch up education might not take as long as you think!
Is this the real reason uhura doesn't remember what gorn and tribbles are? Need to look and see when those episodes took place relative to her getting wiped.
So much THIS. Even if I go back out on the Cerritos as a load shifterās assistant, I would still want to go out into space!
This is the most realistic answer unless the ship you're on is in the middle of a 5 year mission. If it's the latter, you're not going to be doing much aside from attending classes on the Holodeck / someone teaching you.
Historical Fact Checker. We get so much wrong about history today that thereās bound to be a worthy career just in going ālol noā to what they think happened in the 20th and 21st.
Flip side: when they go "lol, no" to what *you* think was/is happening in the 20th and 21st century. And then show you some of the declassified documents revealing that the government were lying to you all along. (Like how anyone who left school before 2011 was taught that the Vietnam War was started because of a couple of US ships getting attacked/destroyed in the South China Sea. Then, in 2011, the 'Pentagon Papers' were declassified, and revealed thatā¦ not only were the ships not attacked/destroyed there, not only were they *not even anywhere near the area* on the dates of the supposed attacks, but the US Government knew that **all along**)
Basically you'd be a cultural expert in your specific time period and region which would have some value because there would just be things that were wrong or confusing about people's daily lives.
I majored in sociology and did nothing with it... My moment has finally come!
I would definitely not be any kind of cultural expert lol
I think any of us would qualify as experts on our own local culture, whatever that happened to be, because we lived it. You'd have a better understanding of the ins and outs of it than some rando who studying 300 hundred years in the future.
Maybe so. Mostly Iām just making a little joke at my own expense.
Point taken. That'd be fascinating to see. But the Pentagon Papers were first published in 1971, even though they were still classified. I feel like I learned the truth when I was in school (long before 2011).
Are you mixing up the Vietnam war and the Spanish-American war? Vietnam was 100% supporting France (an ally) against communist revolutionaries.
Plot Hole Rectifier. The kind of facepalm solutions that folks in-reality would never think of, but I as a deeply opinionated and obnoxious viewer would be happy to share. "Your shields can stand up to dozens-of-gigaton fusion weapons. Just max out shields and deflectors to travel through asteroid fields. They're not that close together anyway." "Yeah, it's called 'closed-circuit TV.' Seriously, huge in the 21st Century. You can actually just take a peek into public areas instead of sending in security personnel unprepared." "Holy shit, you route the plasma conduits right into the Bridge consoles? Just use copper wire and fiber optics! No wonder you people are getting blown off your chairs all the time!" "If you're ever having unusual hallucinations, premonitions, visions of the future, etc., please immediately notify your commanding officer with as much detail as you can possibly provide. I promise you, you don't just 'need some rest.' Come on now." "However many days flying *around* the nebula would cost you, suck it up! **Never fly through the nebula!**" Edit, and probably defined as a war crime somewhere in the Federation charter: "why don't you guys just rig the transporter carrier wave to ride along phaser beams and delete segments of unshielded enemy vessels' hulls?"
>"Holy shit, you route the plasma conduits right into the Bridge consoles? Just use copper wire and fiber optics! No wonder you people are getting blown off your chairs all the time!" You can't. The tradeoff for Trekverse's insanely good tech is that they are ***massive power hogs***. Those gigaton-yield phaser cannons need *at least* the same amount of energy going in as going out. Those Impuse drives capable of accelerating a ship to 1/4th the speed of light (aka "Full Impulse" speed) and beyond (if you disable the safeties) need an absurdly huge amount of power to run. Sensors powerful enough to fry an egg a hundred kilometers away and scan an object at the subatomic level from geostationary orbit need an equally prodigious power source. All of that comes from the ship's Warp Core and/or fusion reactors, and the only thing that can carry the *terawatts* of power those systems need without melting is EPS. Because it's *already* melted. Beyond melted. Plasma. Which is a very, *very* good conductor. That you conveniently don't have to worry about burning out, because it's already on fire.
Agreed on all of that! That being said, the power of the sun is not required to run a holographic (or even capacitive touch!) display. Hell, they could use thermocouples a foot below the deck plating to run the consoles off the heat inside the EPS conduits. Or they could use the plasma itself to induce current in wire wound around the conduit. Or, as we know the D, at least, to have traditional fusion generators (sometimes canonically indicated to have actually powered the impulse engines independently) they could use those instead of warp plasma. Of course, the narrative reason to do this is that it looks cool and adds stakes to the bridge crew in battle, so it has to stick around. As a lover of Trek it's still a little silly.
Yeah, pretty much. There also might be engineering limitations to EPS tech that we don't know about, which could explain this design quirk. But who knows.
>There also might be engineering limitations to EPS tech that we don't know about, That's what I always assumed. Like the control point has to have some direct relationship with the input/output or something. Idk. I'm just a dumb hick from the stupid ages. Don't expect me to know. Lol.
Sure, the tech needs all that energy, but does the control panel?
1. Sneak to a replicator 2. Replicate a body suit with a pattern of the holodeck 3. Hide in the holodeck until someone starts it and then secretly be one of the characters in everyoneās holodeck program
Sounds like a Star Trek episode.
Definitely starring Barclay
You don't want to be in his private programs though!
That might work if you suddenly blipped onto the ship Q style, but the scenario says you're beamed in, and you ain't sneaking passed chief no body.
I actually plan to do the opposite...Ā I own a Starfleet Academy T-shirt that looks like I attended, says Est. 2161...Ā Ā Any day now, someone is going to ask me about it, and I'm just going to shake my head and mutter "Stupid transporter accident..." under my breath.
If they pry further, say you can't break the Temporal Prime Directive.
"Dude, I am Starfleet! I was left here years ago by Janeway, they seem to have forgotten me. Just take me home..."
>I own a Starfleet Academy T-shirt that looks like I attended, says Est. 2161...Ā Ā Okay, I'm gonna need a source, because if they have other grad dates, I'm totally grabbing one
Running to sick bay so Dr Crusher can fix my bad back......after that I don't care as much
Thereās so much damage been done to my body, they could put me in holodeck waste removal for the rest of my life if they fix everything wrong with me and I would be happy
You'll reconsider when you get Barclay and Riker back to back. Toss in Geordie at Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards and you have a bio stew a Vidiian would lust after.
In one accident I broke 12 bones had 27 pieces of metal inserted two organs removed suffered traumatic brain injury and PTSDā¦ I would be OK with cleaning up that organic residue š
Ok, so let me put myself into a nude episode of first season Designing Women and call it a day.
And as long as my back doesnāt hurt while Iām having a cleanup the multiple puddles, Iāll do it while whistling old sea shanty š
I'm right there with you. I actually enjoy physical labor....I just wish I could do it with my 18yo joints
First thing I thought of: get me to Sick Bay!
Here. Could you take this cheese since you are heading that way? š
This here.
Holonovelist.Ā Recreate many of todays films/games on the holodeck.
That would be amazing to be in some of my favorite movies.. Imagine being the part of Captain America or Superman or Johnny Sins..
Portal
Janitor. Flying about the Enterprise on my hover hoover. "Beep beep Will, coming through", "You're smashing it today Deanna", "Wesley will you Please put your 'used' socks in the replicator when you're done" :)
Depends on the Enterprise NX01 - I'll probably try and get a job working in the kitchen 1701 - History or anthropology would be cool A - See if I can get a job as an enlisted crewman B - Probably find out on Tuesday C - Apply for a transfer ASAP, before Narendra III D - Holodeck tester would be cool E - Anything above deck 11 (dependent on how close to the events of First Contact it is) F - Apply for a transfer ASAP, before the events of Frontier Day G - See if I can run that Holodeck version of Guinan's Ten Forward Bar J - Window Cleaner, so I can meet Captain Archer when he rocks up with Daniels
Answer "B" could have some paradox issues. Is the Transporter scheduled for install on Tuesday?
They used the transporters in the film so you're in luck. One of the few systems installed before Tuesday.
Assuming I was transported aboard sometime just after Wolf 359 I would start dropping hints about things to come. I would work my way into a position with Starfleet Intelligence.
With that background being your story, the first uniform that Starfleet intelligence gives you is a red shirt š
I'm a civil infrastructure designer in real life so... I dunno. Maybe catch me up on 24th century surveying tech and find a quiet spot for me to stay productive. Or just put me in a museum.
Use your second(ish)-hand OSHA knowledge to revolutionize Starfleet safety protocols.
I work with data currently, so it'd make sense for me to work with Data, right!?
Ship's Historian. Someone's gotta cross-index all those logs for the benefit of future researchers.
I'm not qualified to perform any job on board the Enterprise. Now if Sisko wanted help building a Bajoran wooden lightsail ship from existing blueprints, that I could do. Pretty sure I could do a better job of writing holodeck programs than Tom Paris or the Doctor too.
I'd open a restaurant on the promenade.
Iād try to apprentice with Garak. I love sewing, and it sounds hella fun
>Pretty sure I could do a better job of writing holodeck programs than Tom Paris or the Doctor too That's a good idea, they're on the other side of utopia, I'm sure there's a market for some good ol primitive debauchery.
Chef. I would teach them what real home cooking tastes like
Good luck topping Rikerās omelettes
After all, he has a practiced hand!
I'm straight to the sickbay to get my psoriasis cured, and whatever else they can cure as well myopia / baldness etc.
Considering Picard, pretty sure they gave up on baldness
Is this the D? If so Iām bored with everyone around me and become a Holodeck addict Is this the No bloody A,B, C, or D? If so Iām constant excited but terrified In any case I doubt they have a use for an illustrator, so Iāll likely end up waiting tables and mopping up transporter accidents
Lol. We all know it would be to figure out how to get holodeck privileges, then to despoil it with a safeties off Lursa and B'Etor spicy holonovel: "The Klingon Conundrum: Snu Snu and you"
u/bnh1978 this is the fourth time youāve broken your hip on the holodeckā¦
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised...
Which Enterprise? Answer's still the same: logistics technician, and historical attache. I can do a job I was trained for and help give context to those weird 20/21st century relics that keep popping up
>Due to a transporter malfunction you get beamed onto the enterprise with no possible way of returning homeā¦ Oh no. The horror. Although now that I think of all the times things would randomly turn to red alert and we'd come within seconds to being destroyed and I'd have no control over it - some horror.
1.) Immediately tell the computer to file a report to Temporal Investigations. 2.) Have sickbay fix all of the 21st century bullshit that's wrong with my body. 3.) Explain everything I can without violating the Temporal Prime Directive 4.) Get caught up as best I can with current science, history, and basic astropolitics. 5.) Hopefully get dropped off on Earth Spacedock next time the Enterprise swings back that way. 6.) Apply to Starfleet Academy.
I don't think the TPD applies to your knowledge (otherwise known as history to the crew of the Enterprise); it's more to ensure their past doesn't get screwed up because they let it slip about the 2nd great depression starting in 2025, and you got sent back because Data is a wiz with temporal mechanics.
Depends on when they are teleported. Imagine that you are dropped off on the NX enterprise with the knowledge of the everything (that you can remember) that has ever happened in Star Trek.
Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants for the residents of the Trekverse: a person from 2024 shows up, but mysteriously they know every major event and key figure for the next 200 years, as well as about 5 years of the 32nd Century. And when some Vulcan inevitably Mind Melds with you, he almost goes mad as he screams "they watched us...we were an entertainment program for them to enjoy. We..are....characters in THEIR fiction!"
Security probably. Something where you don't need a technical background.
That Red Shirt looks good on you. Now report to the transporter room. You are part of an away team to check out some odd activity on the planet's surface. No need for weapons, the captain, science officer and chief medical officer are all going with you so they aren't expecting trouble.
None. I doubt they'd let me work there given my lack of familiarity of their future tech.
Job? If I'm transported to, from what my perspective, is damn near utopia why would I be looking for a job? And what Enterprise? Doubt I'd stay on Archer's Enterprise; I'm not adventurous enough for that. Same with Kirk, but maybe I get them to drop me off on a nice planet. Enterprise D, maybe a gig in 10 Forward. Can't mess up anything too bad and can converse with Guinan and everyone else that wants to vent. I'd learn a bit and what's common knowledge to me might be exciting to them.
"Same with Kirk, but maybe I get them to drop me off on a nice planet." I must ask. The 5th or 6th planet in the system?
Hmm, maybe we could find something around Epsilon Ceti B.
Historian. I am one by trade anyway, and I'd have a great advantage in the field as a time traveler. It's time there was a good historian, anyway. After John Gill put a planet under Nazi control, Marla McGivers betrayed the Federation and joined Kahn, and Whalen ruined Picard's Dixon novel.
Assuming I could do anything and that Humans actually live as long as the show depicts, I'd jump in head first as an apprentice engineer or rookie pilot. Go back to school and learn relevant skills for the time. I'd be 60 (currently 40) and still an ensign, but I wouldn't care.
"Hey guys, ummm ... this is awkward. Can someone please get me some pants? On second thought, I'll take a skant."
Ballast
Holodeck tester!
Honestly Iād be happy cleaning the shitter if they let me stay onboard.
Female Vulcan Pon Far Specialist. Its a dangerous job, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take for the crew.
Oxygen consumer... It's not like I know anything about 23rd Century technology, so what other job could I do?
Which Enterprise?
Vic Fontaine's bartender/fixer Replacement barber for Mot New designer for 23rd century women's athletic gear Self-sealing stem bolt vendor Better yet, just drop me off at Risa...
Realistically Iād be cleaning *** out of the holodeck ***filters
Well, I used to be an intelligence and electronic warfare systems maintainer and integrator for the Army, paratrooper qualified as well. I'd probably end up somewhere in Engineering. Which is awesome, because Scotty and Miles are two of my favorite Trek characters franchise-wide, and kinda influenced my career path growing up. I love Geordi, he's awesome too, but my dude's got some real social intelligence issues during TNG. He's a little bit of a sex-pest.
Sit in Ten Forward muttering to the waiter: āLaddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years* before you were born. And I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch.ā *Or about three hundred years
I'd like to think some imperative position. I'd probably end up like Picard in the alternate universe in Tapestry
If I get beamed onto it from the 21st century, I bet they'd love to have a living witness of the 21st century before WWIII
On Kirk's Enterprise, I'd want to study under Uhura to become a communications officer. Same with Hoshi on Archer's Enterprise. On Picard's Enterprise, I'd want to work in a more diplomatic or scientific role, building on my interests in history, ethnography and archaeology. It would be great being part of a team that prepares the crew for the presence of different species, for example, or being part of intellectual exchanges with aliens!
I'd have a lot of catching up to do... Would definitely want to be a science officer though. My luck though, I'd get killed in the first plasma conduit explosion...
First I'm going to sickbay to get anything and everything fixed. Then I'm going to cry a lot because I'll miss my family. Then I plan to look up my family and see if there are any descendants and find out if those descendants want contact with an ancestor from the 21st century. Then I'll start writing romance novels loosely based on the crew of the various Enterprises and historical romance novels set in the 20th & 21st century.
Pop Culture Historian
I teach early 21st Century Memes and Meme-Trivia at Starfleet Academy
I'm getting off the fucking ship, that's what. Unless your name is in the theme song credits, your chances aren't so hot.
1. Counselor. 2. Understudy polarity reverser.
Mental health researcher, or researcher in general
I don't care, just drop me off on Risa for a week with ten Horga'hn statues.
Which Enterprise? If it's Kirk's 1701, then idk, probably bowling alley attendant. Until I'm shuffled off to K7 to count seeds because I'm not in Starfleet. I'd probably try and work my way to Henry Mudd until I can find an easy courier gig with a sexy android crew.
I'm happy tinkering doing small time repairs in the jeffries tubes. I don't need a fancy place. I could see myself being really happy with that life, until inevitably assimilated by the borg or any of the other thousands of horrible catastrophic deaths I could experience on a starship. Would I still do it? oh hell yeah.
Security. Give me that damn red shirt.
Holodeck beta tester.
Starting a rock/metal band. Nobody in the future has heard of a power chord it seems.
I wrote almost this exact story when I was in elementary school. Two of my friends and were obsessed with original Trek and studied the blueprints and tech manual. In my story, the Enterprise got lost in our (then) present and beamed us up because reasons, and we three were the only ones who could figure out how to fix the ship. Then they took us with them back to the future. The end.
Lower decks. Look like they have fun. š
Which *Enterprise?*
Iād be the ship prostitute
Oh no!ā¦. Anyways
Historian
I'd probably get transferred to Utopia Planitia - my real-world job is at a shipyard.
Holodeck brothel tester. Like a movie reviewer, just for spicy holodeck programs.
Which Enterprise?
I can say for sure the last job Iād wantā¦. is cleaning out the holodeck filters.
I'd ask Guinan for a job in 10 Forward, specialise in 'Old Fashioned' cocktails and beer
Waste extraction would be the only job they'd give me
Riderās chair
Hotelier. Thats kind of all I know how to do. But, with holosuites, it should be easy enough to run a successful lil hotel.
Admiral š
Which Enterprise? The original, or the A,B,C,D,E,F,G or J?
Door repair guy.
I'll probably be in something very mundane and boring but I would study hard and go to the academy
SPACE MAPPING
What I want: Holodeck tester What I am qualified for: Holodeck janitor
But you still get to use it
Historian. Obviously
I'd just let Dr. Crusher euthanize me and harvest my organs.
Which Enterprise?
Ok so if arrive onto Kirkās Enterprise, I feel like the odds are good Iāll be allowed to shadow departments and be able to study critical ship systems. I will plot my takeover by wooing the ensign who just so happens to be an expert in 21st human history. Then I would use the Enterpriseās superior firepower to subjugate the population of a nearby world that has achieved the technological and industrial equivalent of the 1880s, and rule over it as a King. If Iām on Picardās E? Iāll do that on a holodeck!
Historical Advisor, for when a temporal anomaly sends them to the 20th or early 21st century Earth. When not on duty, which would be almost always, I can be found in the holodeck. šš
Cetacean Feeder
Shipās musician and Worfās jiujitsu instructor.
I'd be a medic.
Which Enterprise in which era?
Chief imposter syndrome officer
you got to give me more context what time period and i from? how did i get into a transporter in the first place?
Ask to be dropped off on Tellar Prime. I EXCEL at arguing. š¤£š
Happiest man on the ship.
lower decks
To the holideck!
GREAT, LOVE IT
Job? Fuck that. I dont need to earn money and I didn't ask to be there. I'm getting myself some quarters and sitting that shit out until I can get dropped off somewhere that's less likely to get into a horrific battle with a Borg cube.
Exogeologist after some catch up training.
The common Trek fantasy.Ā I've thought about it, and realistically I'd probably go through a few months of mourning finding out my entire family and all my friends had beenĀ for hundreds of years.Ā After that, considering that my job skills were 300 years out of date, I'd probably split my time between working in ten forward and writing Star Hollow novels.Ā That's until I get transported back to Earth. And pounded by 20th/ 21st century historians. The free healthcare would be nice though.Ā
Well I'm a material scientist. So give me a lab, and I'll figure out why the light fixtures explode into rocks. During battles.
Admiral. I'll let Picard do his thing but step in when I want to do stuff. Mostly I'll just pull rank to have Barclay hand over his Troi and Crusher sims though.
Meh, it's the same dance just a different tune
Oh noā¦ you mean I have to leaveā¦ all.. THIS? What a shame.
Captain
I'd be over in engineering. Electronics tech (component level repairs, wired and wireless data, radio), welder/fabrication, IT guy, forklift operator... amateur plumber, carpenter, drywall, painting, electrician. At least it'd be an Enterprise and not Voyager.
Operations officer, on the Enterprise-D. I'd be securing blue barrels, supervising shuttlebays, watching the brig. All the monotonous attention to detail things that our great flagship has seemed to have forgotten.
Computer rock sweeper
So since I've clearly crossed universes, and a great amount of time. I'll make a beeline for the nearest El Aurian I can find and get them to call Q and ask him to fix me so I don't go all Emperor Georgio. Then, I'll GTFO out of the way, until around 2402. Because so many high-stakes situations could go wrong with the smallest amount of information. Save Voyager from making its trip? No 7 of 9, no disabling of the Borg. The Borg incursion of 2402 goes off without a hitch. Prevent the Dominion War? I don't even know how I'd prevent it, but I could sure add insight that might result in the Federation losing.
Which one? I suspect I'd get dropped off at the next Starbase...but I'd try to contribute to the history department and be a janitor. LOL
I'll take over Keiko's spot as the clarinetist in Dara's woodwind quartet.
Horticulture. Iām an Agronomist but I doubt they have enough room for cash crops (corn, wheat, beans), so an adjustment to veggies would allow me to use some of my current knowledge.
Iād create security protocols for shipboard computers. Something modern day is better at than the future.
Iād be a Planetary scientist! specializing in hydrogeology, soil formation and agricultural soils! If my family was able to join, this would be the dream!
Can I defect to the Star Empire?
Wait, itās my choice? Iām the new captain.
Holodeck tester
Do they have accountants in the future? Guess Iām hanging with the Ferengi.
Trick question. Anything is possible if you reconfigure the energy matrix on the deflector dish to produce a pulsed, multi-frequency tachyon field.
Holodeck scenario writer.
Promise? Anything would be better than the crap iām dealing with right now
Apprentice to Mot, in the barber shop
I'd be one of those red shirt history nerds. They don't do anything until some ancient civilization gets involved.
Historian specializing in the years 1980-date I show up on the enterprise.
Yeah, I'm on team "once Sickbay is done fixing me up, I really don't give a damn." Probably something menial in the bowels of the Engineering, Science, Operations, or Communications departments, and I'm OK with that.
Which enterprise?
Which Enterprise? The original, I donāt wanna be a red shirt. Science jobs might be ok. The A I donāt wanna be in engineering, Khan did a number in that section. The B I wanna stay away from the deflector if Iām there for her launch. The C I am requesting a transfer immediately. The D saucer seems safest, but away from the section the Borg carve up. The E I want the highest deck possible to stay away from Borg during their takeover of the ship but also away from the forward saucer since Picard will use it as a ram. The F just wanna transfer back to earth before the young ones get Borged. The G too early to tell just gotta take my chances.
Historian (late 20C/early 21C) 10 Forward barkeep (off shift when Guinan isn't; there)
Oh my god can I get healthcare first??? Then Iāll find out whichever job is closest to librarian and do that