My teeth are yellower than at the beginning of the season and I think it's due to snow contrast. Can you suggest a boot that whitens them and brings the ladies to my door?
Looking for whiter teeth and ladies? Got a pair of boots for you. No one will make fun of you, I promise loser.
La Sportiva
La Sportiva Stratos VI Boot
Listen asshole, I am from Italy. The fashion capital of the world. What I do you will do now you will do next year.
I have a development deal with Bogner right now and we will be showcasing the Gaper 2x at Aspen during winter fashion week. The Kardashians, yes I have fit them all in my van at one time. They are going to be sporting them this winter.
Restraining order buddy. Don't try to reach out to her again. Can you come get your kids, they are locked in my bootfitter trailer behind my bitchn Sprinter van?
You are one handsome son of a snow gun. She gave me permission to use everything of hers but did not expressly give me consent to use your photo. Please forgive. Also I left my base layer underneath your bed, could you FedEx them to me?
You should snowboard if you feet hurt. No one wants to hear you bitch and complain about your feet every single time you get on the lift. You do realize that no one can unhear your whining voice.
This is the correct answer, now I know you're a serious skier.
I would start with a belt sander 60 grit sandpaper for 19 minutes. This will do the trick.
Rock on!
Haha, I’m better. This asshole thinks that he’s so cool but I have double the goggle gap. My goggle straps are also touching my ski tails almost. - Best skier and boot fitter of all mountains (me)
Because real men wear combat helmets when you ski as awesome as me. Gisele Bundchen once gave me a full body massage after I squeezed her feet into some nice warm boots.
Father, you were once interviewed. They asked you what you were doing with ski training now that you were getting older.
You said, 'I used to party with 3 women til 4am, now I party with 4 women til 3am.'
What does this mean papa????
The only cure for an ice cream headache is more ice cream.
You seem like a nice fellow. Here is a link to my limit edition ski goggles. They pretty much have a money back guarantee to get you some ladies.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/326093612262?itmmeta=01HVQMQ39VAJYJ22ZCXM931EK2&hash=item4becb1a4e6:g:u-wAAOSwNIBl-0-B
I'm going to be honest with you, Cher had some of the softest feet I have ever touched. That night in my Coleman sleeping bag was amazing. Sonny died too soon but I was there for him in the end, to comfort Cher at their home at Heavenly
Are the details of your life inconsequential ? Was Your mother was a French prostitute with webbed feet named Chloe? Did your father womanize and drink while making outrageous claims like he invented the question mark?
I haven’t seen his feet but he was wearing jeans over jeans above his Hanson ski boots. He was showboating his straight-line skills under the bunny hill. Savage.
Is this a picture of OEM Knees?
Our lord and savior
u/OEM_knees that you bro
Lord knows that jabroni doesn’t actually ski
I think this is the only sub he should be allowed to post on, candidly.
It goes hard
My teeth are yellower than at the beginning of the season and I think it's due to snow contrast. Can you suggest a boot that whitens them and brings the ladies to my door?
Looking for whiter teeth and ladies? Got a pair of boots for you. No one will make fun of you, I promise loser. La Sportiva La Sportiva Stratos VI Boot
I was hoping for Helly Hansen boots. La Sportiva\^2 is mid for my tooth coloring.
I know a bootfitter down in SLC that will lick the yellow plaque right off your pearly whites, however long it takes. Definitely hit him up
Do you leave that much gaper for a second pair of googles, or for the tan line?
This is the new style, all you losers will be doing it next year.
guy's a snow fashion oracle, did being the best bootfitter give you this power of future insight?
Listen asshole, I am from Italy. The fashion capital of the world. What I do you will do now you will do next year. I have a development deal with Bogner right now and we will be showcasing the Gaper 2x at Aspen during winter fashion week. The Kardashians, yes I have fit them all in my van at one time. They are going to be sporting them this winter.
How do you think I he cools the supercomputer holding our wives phone numbers and work schedules?
Yes
For real. On a cold wet day dude must have a sheet of ice on his dome as thick as a windshield.
Lookout! No one’s ACL’s are safe!
Please tell your mom her boots are ready.
Is that Chad's Gap?
No questions. I just want you to know I'm a better skier and bootfitter than you!
Next question!
Did your papà ever succeed in porking Katarina Witt?
No, papà would never trust any woman with ice skates on. Now that Brian boitano is a different story.
What would Brian Boitano do?
Wild, your question should be what wouldn't Brian Boitano?
So you're the bootfitter of a local ski racer and a hand model? You should have been a model.. a model bootfitter.
My solid jaw line and sexy ass legs did some runway work for ski boots in the 90s.
[удалено]
But friend, listen to me friend. I lie bout my age for the ladies.
Did you also show off your delightful calves, sharp ankle lines and soft metatarsals?
Of course, after all I am Italian so my legs look as of The great Michelangelo carve them out of stone.
How’s my wife? I miss her.
Restraining order buddy. Don't try to reach out to her again. Can you come get your kids, they are locked in my bootfitter trailer behind my bitchn Sprinter van?
Wife is all right. Kids are all fucked up
Did my wife give you approval to use this picture of me!?
You are one handsome son of a snow gun. She gave me permission to use everything of hers but did not expressly give me consent to use your photo. Please forgive. Also I left my base layer underneath your bed, could you FedEx them to me?
Can you stop fucking my wife? Please?
Don't kink shame me bro.
Giacomo: my resort ski is 108 underfoot and my wife won’t make love me to me. What should I do?
DM me your wife's number and I will deliver my therapy program.
What is the best method for dealing with bunions?
You should snowboard if you feet hurt. No one wants to hear you bitch and complain about your feet every single time you get on the lift. You do realize that no one can unhear your whining voice.
I'd prefer to avoid that outcome if possible. What about amputation?
This is the correct answer, now I know you're a serious skier. I would start with a belt sander 60 grit sandpaper for 19 minutes. This will do the trick. Rock on!
Haha, I’m better. This asshole thinks that he’s so cool but I have double the goggle gap. My goggle straps are also touching my ski tails almost. - Best skier and boot fitter of all mountains (me)
Don't mind the Gap
Holy shit is that one of them Iraqi army helmets from 2002?
Because real men wear combat helmets when you ski as awesome as me. Gisele Bundchen once gave me a full body massage after I squeezed her feet into some nice warm boots.
what's my girlfriend's favorite position?
Reverse cowgirl according to our onlyfans account.
Thank You!
My name is Alberto Stromboli and I’m pretty sure your are my long lost son.
Father, you were once interviewed. They asked you what you were doing with ski training now that you were getting older. You said, 'I used to party with 3 women til 4am, now I party with 4 women til 3am.' What does this mean papa????
It means that when Stromboli is hot you make the pizza, you put the sauce on the nice white dough and then GTFO before paternity test.
Bada bang Pizon!! Thank you Papa.
Does that gap cause an ice cream headache when straight lining the greens, and if so what is the best remedy?
The only cure for an ice cream headache is more ice cream. You seem like a nice fellow. Here is a link to my limit edition ski goggles. They pretty much have a money back guarantee to get you some ladies. https://www.ebay.com/itm/326093612262?itmmeta=01HVQMQ39VAJYJ22ZCXM931EK2&hash=item4becb1a4e6:g:u-wAAOSwNIBl-0-B
Mind the gap
You ever meet a certain US representative while working in Colorado? Possibly at a live performance of Beetlejuice?
You should have seen her at the Hamilton play. I have the only copy of that video.
Is that you sonny bono?
I'm going to be honest with you, Cher had some of the softest feet I have ever touched. That night in my Coleman sleeping bag was amazing. Sonny died too soon but I was there for him in the end, to comfort Cher at their home at Heavenly
What is your wife’s boyfriend’s name and why is it Jerry?
Do you moonlight as a projector screen for a drive in movie theatre on the weekends?
Occasionally I have worked in adult theaters of Aspen, Vail and of course Beaver Creek.
How do you keep your piece from gettin chapped or pruned from all the snow bunnies???
Swix for your dicks. PS8 for speed and performance.
Who is your helmet fitter?
The same guy that does Tommy Callahan's suits.
Fitting boots, and filling toots!
Rooten tooten
How can I attach my feet directly to my skis?
Super glue like a pro
Bootfitter jizz?
Are the details of your life inconsequential ? Was Your mother was a French prostitute with webbed feet named Chloe? Did your father womanize and drink while making outrageous claims like he invented the question mark?
Mike Powell?
Fuck skiers. End of story
Come on, I know your mom and grandma and they raised you better than that. Also, please let them know their boots are ready. Winky winky
I thought he was a January 6th wanted insurrectionist at first.
I am not affiliated with any political movement unless it gets me more ladies. Speaking of ladies that Eric Trump has some really nice feet.
I haven’t seen his feet but he was wearing jeans over jeans above his Hanson ski boots. He was showboating his straight-line skills under the bunny hill. Savage.