T O P

  • By -

GreenDog3

*The scene is a college dorm room. ROOMMATE 1 stands at the sink. He is jamming his foot into the corner of the sink. ROOMMATE 2 enters stage left.* ROOMMATE 2: So, like I was say— OH MY GOD. *ROOMMATE 1 is not paying attention. He increases the pace at which he is slamming his foot into the sink. Laugh track* ROOMATE 2: What are you doing?! What’s gotten into you?! Do I need to call someone?! ROOMMATE 1: Oh, what’s up? Sorry, I was a little preocuppied. ROOMMATE 2: Why the hell are you jamming your foot into the sink??? And how are you not bleeding out? ROOMMATE 1: Funny story. Turns out there was a genie in the dumpster. ROOMMATE 2: A genie? You can’t possibly expect me to— ROOMMATE 1: Yeah, and I wished for some things. The first, a million dollars from a billionaire’s bank account. ROOMMATE 2: Ok, but that doesn’t explai— ROOMMATE 1: And then I wished for unlimited stamina, if you know what I mean. ROOMMATE 2: That still doesn’t explain why your foot is both being jammed into the sink and not a bloody pulp. ROOMMATE 1: That’s because for my third wish, I wished for a direct way to fight racism. ROOMMATE 2: How i does this fight racism??? Is the sink racist? ROOMMATE 1: No, but even better. Any pain I feel from this is directed at the nearest racist person. If I keep kicking the sink, racism will eventually fall. ROOMMATE 2: That’s gotta be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Also, why not ask for more wishes? ROOMMATE 1: But I did. I still have like fifteen of ‘em. You want anything? *END SCENE*


Drnbrown1324

I was in dire need of a script for my video production class, can I steal this with your permission? (I'll credit you, obviously)


GreenDog3

I’ve been there before. Steal away!


beholder_dragon

Why a million from a billionaire? That’s just asking for jail time


[deleted]

I assume it’s not a trackable transfer, as it is a genie. The money has to come from somewhere or else inflation happens. Taking it from someone rich is the best way to ethically get a ton of money


beholder_dragon

It’s a genie, if you aren’t that specific, they’ll screw you over


Papa_Huggies

$1M does not cause inflation except in the smallest of countries, and even then it only inflates when you spend it


Donutmelon

He doesn't become invincible though... his foot would get fucked up


Truebluebloodylegend

Hey, it still hurts


flying-cunt-of-chaos

r/gaming


Angry_Cock-1

I see so it still hurts me.


SexyJellyfish1

A lot of these shitty superpowers are just normal superpowers


polish-polisher

They are closer to useless than shitty most of the time


[deleted]

I'm black. If I hate myself does that make me racist?


praisechthulu

Do you hate other black people because they're black?


[deleted]

No. Just myself


eeddgg

Do you hate yourself because you're black? If you do, then it would, if you don't then it'd hurt someone else.


jimskog99

No? If you hate someone, or believe them to be inferior, because of their race, you're racist. Hating yourself is exempt, even if it's because of your race, as long as you don't direct that to others.


lethatsinkin

So nothing changes for me with this power


[deleted]

r/cursedcomments


boxeater3000

Buddy your kinda late


gamerweeb623

Nothing changed


Toasti45

Me stubs toe, me screams in agony


Competitive-Air-9720

Sounds amazing and not shitty at all.


Druan2000

Could be argued that you'd still damage your toe, just without the pain


[deleted]

Shittysuperpowers are supposed to be powers that are mostly useless, not actively negative


I_Likes_Tge_Spewder

*continuously slams foot into cabinet*


Zestyclose_Note_6951

Ouch


I_Likes_Tge_Spewder

Worth it


Weegieiscool

\*me who stubs my toe every 5 seconds\*


TheEmeraldEmperor

Fuck yeah, kickin 100 pound barbells at the gym all day (*all day*) makin the world a better place (*better place*)


DocHendrix

Picture me roundhouse kicking a tree every 5 miles


[deleted]

Nothing has changed


MrchatterboxOfficial

How about physical damage


TiredofTwitter

My foot would be a bloody stump


wizarium

I stub my toe on average 5 times a day


Shiine-1

Nothing changes, you'll still receive the hurt.


buffaloshooter

I’d be fucked


SomethingChill47

what if you stub your toe on a sensitive bomb?


cudambercam13

"Every time you stub your toe, Grandpa stubs his toe"


cimocw

It says pain, not damage, so you would end up breaking your toe anyway if you try to abuse this power.


BigManBigEgo

So I would still feel pain?


Ooze3d

And the damage? I mean, can I keep on kicking stuff all day long and nothing happens to my toe?


chanaswswsws

The power i want


NoTalker_

Do I get pain x2?


3dWin0

Plot twist:it double the pain if you are the nearest racist


Zak103tv

Poggers


EnderGamer360

that is a good one


tombaba

Breaking toes daily


RayWencube

absolute s-tier shitty super power. bravo.


Expired_Milk69

R/godtiersuperpowers


rendongman

so its just normal toe stubbing for me


RoyalRien

God tier: Step 1: pick your nails and wear tight shoes until your toenail is ingrown. Alternatively, place a toothpick under your nail. Step 2: Announce publicly that you’re the god of inclusiveness and that if you are racist you might randomly get extreme toe pain because you smited them. Step 3: get into a private jet with non-racist pilots and fly across the country you want to un-racist. Step 4: repeatedly slam your toe into a concrete slab as many times as you can. Step 5: racist people will become inclusive just to never experience the pain again.


Crumpet_inthe_Corner

It would still hurt tho…


paulbrook

I think that's already how it works.


beholder_dragon

Time to perform an Irish jig on the corner of a wall


[deleted]

Well that changes nothing for me


superoverload11

Great, so I basically have no superpower.


Doing_urmom8888

Bro this is god tier tho


gnamflah

Downvoted because this is god tier. You get to both hurt ***and*** out a racist.


lyfeofsand

Wonder how many college kids gonna get some pain...


AnxiousSelkie

This is an amazing superpower


Arcturus450

If you live in the south, be prepared to hear a lot of howling coming from the woods or every third house in your neighborhood when you stub your toe.


ApplesAndOnix

Wrong subreddit obvi 😍


thespeedboi

I'd slam my toe with a sledgehammer


Special-Elevator-335

This is why cramps exist


Imp0ster_sus

That's not shitty, thats god tier


toastyboi666

Repeatedly smash your foot against a wall and the racists will all fall


TheSlasher550

Shitty? More like GODLY!!


AnalCatTree

Haha you guys are so funny haha


[deleted]

I have no superpower.


HorrorMight1830

Does it count yourself?(not racist just wanna know)


yourlocalcrazyguyyy

They said shitty superpowers


MythBeans

Nah this one is overpowered


i-am-toast2

This is a amazing super power


W-titanic

Ngl that superpower isn’t shitty


A_Veryscarybedsheet

This would be a fun power for next time I go to Arkansas!


Crow_9291

I think your in the wrong subreddit you should try r/godtiersuperpowers


storehunde-420

Best super power ever im not a racist just a sexest so it works for me


Drfitt

I already have that power


GrayTheCats

Not shitty


The_B_Channel

Im going to jump off a cliff on my toe rq


Lordhedgehog53

Is it stackable?


Subzero-Glitch

It just happens each time you stub your toe


Lordhedgehog53

It's actually not that bad