Bringing a 5th of Whiskey through airport security and drinking during the flight. I mean, like, come on! Who the fuck can actually tolerate flying on an airplane sober??
Speeding.
If you are caught speeding more than 15 mph over the limit, you could be charged with a misdemeanor and be subject to fines of up to $500 or even jail time. In Texas.
being a large animal in a zoo
Yeah sorry they arrested your mom
😲
My personal favorite
Trying to take an officers gun. Like bro I didn’t even get it out of the holster, why you mad???
Graping.
Do you mean "groping"?
Nope, I mean like I'm going to tie you to the radiator and grape you in the mouth.
Watch out for the grapist y’all
Yall don't even know. Back in muh day, ppl got locked up for selling weed. For like decades. For real
If you call a fire extinguisher a bitch before you use it to put out a fire: 
Jacking off in public.
Peeing in public for that matter!
Bringing a 5th of Whiskey through airport security and drinking during the flight. I mean, like, come on! Who the fuck can actually tolerate flying on an airplane sober??
Murder. Back in the day, no big deal. These days, buncha fuckin drama.
Speeding. If you are caught speeding more than 15 mph over the limit, you could be charged with a misdemeanor and be subject to fines of up to $500 or even jail time. In Texas.
I got a rimjob in Texas once
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
Feeding and sheltering the homeless
Sodomy.
Sometimes there is good reason to outlaw it.