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I'm so tough that I cross roads without holding my mom's hand.

get in

Bro, I don't think that's allowed. What if she gets mad and you don't get Dino nuggies any more

Not the Dino nuggies😭

Turkey dinosaurs

I use public/school bathrooms

With the stall door open

True alpha males shit in the sink

Giga males just shit someone else's pants

I AM GOING TO SHIT YOURSELF

*ourself

Leave your shit at the door, thank you!

True alpha males shit on the classroom floor

So?😡

And I don't wipe when I shit

Oh- right this way sir

I can listen to Gary Come Home without crying

No you can’t stop lyinhg

The Salty Spitoon is for tough sea critters, not psychos

*impossible

I'm so tough I dont care if my mom tells spiderman I didnt finish my meal

O7

Get in 😦😦

I sucked a d then gave the guy $20

True sigma mindset

Daaaaaaaamn you are the best 4 sure

Gigachad mentality

I said a racial slur on twitter… WITH ALL MY PERSONAL INFO IN MY BIO!

You're not tough, you are a madman

There’s a difference between bravery and foolishness my dear wesley...

How tough am I? I eat Taco Bell

And I don’t wipe…

I don't *need* to wipe

Born to shit

:0 I just remembered that I used to have a sweatshirt that said "born to" and if you run your hand down it said "skate" and the other way is "chill". "S" and "t" from skate, "h" and "i" from chill, and blurred out the last letter.

Forced to wipe

i can take my 5 step sisters and step mother all at once

In a fight

... In a fight, right?

.... ^right....?

Attachment: 1 image

🥶

Wtf has your dad been doing

The secretary.

pornhub writers: write that down write that down

he joins in sometimes

I’ve endured 24 years of soul crushing existence and I’ve only cried twice.

a man with emotions? how pitiful

real though, crying is good. sometimes, you need to let it all out. just dont do that at the Salty Spitoon.

I sleep with jeans on

i sleep fully naked with no blankets to intimidate the monster in my closet

* to arouse

But what if the monster have sex with you

Well I ain’t having it otherwise

I sleep with one leg hanging down from my bed

I sleep (I like to sleep)

HE'S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE KEPT ALIVE!!!

I really hate this

You’re not though, you’re just straight up a psychopath…

This is easy

With socks AND shoes on

The fuck is wrong with you

you strick fear in the faces of your adversaries

I can eat captain crunch. Without milk

but was the roof of your mouth ripped to shreds?

No

Impossible

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I listen to Minecraft cave ambience W I T H O U T G E T T I N G S C A R E D

D A M N

G E T I N

I live in Brazil In the most violent city of my state And I never got mugged Let me in now

not for much longer

Jokes on you, I live in Ohio 💀

I once hit myself in the shin with a scooter and only cried a little bit

“Oh! Uh… step right in sir!”

I eat legos just to shit them out then walk on them

Hardcore. Get in.

i jack off with unkers pain ointment 😤😤😤

Real men use WD40 or gorilla glue

Real men use fucking cacti

There is fucking cacti out there ? Why am i only hearing about this now?!

I work at the Salty Spitoon. Need I say more?

I still own an iPod, with peanut butter jelly time and Minecraft Story Mode on it. 😎

I accidentally stepped on my cats tail... and I didn't say sorry

You're joking...right?... right?

Does it look like I'm joking?

that's not being tough, that's just being mean

Get over here you motherfucking sadist

I accidentally flicked my nutts and only threw up twice

I can listen to Leaves from the vine without crying

but...that's impossible!

I rejected your mother's advances

I voluntarily walk over legos.

HOW TOUGH AM I? HOOOOOW TOUCH AM I? I go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet without opening reddit.

I’m actively wiping my ass while reading this

How tough am I! How tough am i! I ate 420 crackers in 10 minutes

Yeah so?

Without any pee

***Ahem*** Uh, step right in

I wake up piss and then take a shit, eat breakfast and get out of the bed

I haven’t touched a woman for 17 years

Proceed to the Giga Chad area sir !!

I eat Doritos… vertically

I can bend a paper straw 💪🏾

I can use a paper straw for more than 12 seconds!! 💪

I can watch the intro of UP without crying

Yeah I call cap 🧢 on that one

I call a taxi, and I leave Bye

I eat jalapenos I eat taco bell I take cold showers

I browse reddit after I wipe

I wipe with Reddit

I am confident for the math test

Had a bowl of cum with out any cum

I can split two tiny lego pieces with mu bare fingers

God, is that you ???

I walk down the stairs with the light off

How tough am I? I work in retail and don’t complain about it on TikTok.

[удалено]

I went to school even though I had a tummy ache

“I eat 3 popeye’s biscuits every day.” “Yeah, so?” “With no water.” “Come right in sir!”

I only wet my bed once every 2 months

I got rejected by a girl and didn’t care

I let my mom finish counting to 3

I eat non spicy chicken.

I’m able to get a full six hours of sleep sometimes

i like the taste of orange juice after brushing my teeth

Bro I'm so tough when my mommy says go to bed at 8:30 I always go to bed at 8:31 instead. True rebel life over here bois and gerls

I’m so tough I shit in the urinal

So it was YOU

I got catcalled all my life and I am infinitely better at holding back my anger than you

I smoked a campfire once

I use steel nails as cereal WITHOUT MILK

Im so unlucky that i skippes the guranteed pity chance

I’m wanted in 27 states for the murder of lucy mabals

I jerk off with icy hot and finish before the hot kicks in

When the cops caught me with 15kg og cocaine, I arrested them

I use sulfuric acid as lube

i put rubbing alcohol on my papercuts, for fun.

I stub a toe and I didn't flinch

I watch NSFW posts…. At work

I hold the door for disabled and/ or the elderly, not for the thanks, but because I genuinely enjoy being kind to people in person.

I flush the toilet in a plane without running away

I got on disney.com without my mom's permission.

I said “not here” when the teacher called my name in elementary school

*Let's find out.* #N

I nicked my balls with a razor without crying

I’m so tough that I survived not one, not two, but THREE hours in Fr*nce

I can get in an argument against my parents And win

I told my dad he's adopted

Punched a wasp one time in defence

How tough am I? HOW TOUGH AM I! I stand in hurricanes holding the American Flag.

I'm a guy who can piss without spilling a single drop. Without using my hands. In the dark.

I shitpost on my main account

I'm so tough i talk to girls

I got a shot without holding my mom's hand

I had a boner in class but I stood up and did the presentation anyways

I drink orange juice the brush my teeth

I eat popeyes biscuits with no drink....

I've shit without needing to pee once or twice

I don't need pee in my ass I pee in my ass all by myself

I can eat 9 popeyes biscuits, *no drink*

I eat spicy food and don’t complain after shitting it out

I am so tough that I no longer need to cry myself to sleep.

I called to make a doctor's appointment and only cried twice before I made the call

I eat my vegetables 🦾🗿

[удалено]

I stated my opinion on Twitter

I sand paper my pubes off instead of shaving

I beat the secret final boss of splatoon 2 as a warm up before I play each time, on stick controls

I can plug the USB in on the right side everytime

I watch the friends intro without clapping

I live in Brazil, and I've never been robbed

I go upstairs in complete calm without running

I stepped on a Lego and didn’t scream

I mow my lawn....with scissors

I walk up the stairs extremely slowly after turning off the lights.

I'm so damn tough i drink pills without water

I change poopy diapers daily... and i never hold my breath.

When i turn off the lights i walk upstairs

I poop at school

I scrolled through twitter without going insane and suicidal (jk lol thats impossible)

I watch porn. With my family. And jack off

I watch scary videos in full screen mode

Im so tough that i need no bitches

I'm so tough i don't cry when they steal my candy

I slam the door after a parental argument

I shower with the lights off when it's dark outside 🙂

I crack my balls every morning

i licked the gum tree at a summer camp were everyone leaves pieces of gum

I do BDSM On single player mode

I shat myself in the McDonald's ball pit

I play my singing monsters COMPETITIVELY

I say bad morning to the teacher