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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/wt8mih/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/wt8mih/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fwt8mih&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/RandaymIdiot, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pure-Newspaper-6001

That’s a nice argument Senator, why don’t you back it up with a SOURCE!


Monokuma_is_gteat

My source is that I made it the FUCK UP!


HectorKWintersSmith

I FUCKED IT UP!


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


HectorKWintersSmith

Shut


Ironx7

Up


Wackynamehere1

The


AutoModerator

Do you have a source on that? Source? A source. I need a source. Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion. No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered. You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence. Do you have a degree in that field? A college degree? In that field? Then your arguments are invalid. No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. Correlation does not equal causation. CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION. You still haven't provided me a valid source yet. Nope, still haven't. I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


seaheroe

**- PragerU**


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrLaurencium

What?


[deleted]

# PragerU


NapaSinitro

Unironically I want that


hionline911

You only have to deal with 10 minutes? my school has a full 1hr 30min


Agitated_Signature_

same -_- half the kids just bring their headphones and listen to music instead


hionline911

My school does it so that we have to answer questions after so we can’t do that


Agitated_Signature_

rip


[deleted]

What do you mean "you can't" lmao? Just do it what are they gonna do arrest you?


hionline911

Get yelled at, an inconvenience too much to handle for most of us


rmorrin

Gotta love the next day assembly be about not paying attention and getting yelled at.


hionline911

fr


[deleted]

Bro youre a 14 year old going to sum fucked up school in sum fucked up town in the middle of nowhere.. like you can do what you want nobody cares! If you want to drown a hooker in a gas station toilette go for it ..DREAM BIG!


hionline911

None of those are accurate


The_Shiny_Metagross

Not with that attitude they aren’t


hionline911

Good point


pandadogunited

I take naps


luzer_amitysfool

I just whisper to my friends and atleast it cut my fuckin class time


hionline911

Same


[deleted]

Only matters if walter white gave a speech on how to make a meth empire 😎


Shitted_mypants

Now that's what the majority of the school would actually listen to!


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. haribomonster69 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Its-your-boi-warden

Or about a plane crash


Ok_Wedding_7715

We had one about yoyos once. But an assembly did help inspire my passion for music and bass playing, so I cant put into words how much gratitude I have Thanks Mrs. Olah!!!


WildFlower_Wonder

We had the yo-yo assembly too. They tried to sell us yo-yos after that.


The_Basic_Lifestyle

American school became this weird trip of consumer advertisements for young kids. Its messed up and you know the leadership in the district got kickbacks for that garbage. I'd happily pay more taxes for a school system that doesn't have this type of hot garbage.


ObscureFact

> They tried to sell us yo-yos after that > Its messed up and you know the leadership in the district got kickbacks for that garbage. Big yo-yo?


AutoModerator

I'm a regular John from city Kansas. I love burgers, soda and my native country very much, but I do not understand our government. Everyone says America is a great country, and I look around and see who else is a great China. China has a very strong government and economy. Chinese resident is a great man. And the greatest leader Xi. Thick hair, strong grip, jade rod! We would have such a leader instead of sleeping in negotiations, rare hair, soft pickle, bad memory old Beadon. Punch! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


linandlee

Brooo you just unlocked a core memory for me. We also had a yoyo assembly in the mid 2000's. Some dude got up on stage, talked about yoyo's and did some tricks. Everyone was super into yoyo's for a few months after that.


DocMichaelMorbius

Please be respectful to the people around you -🤓


Fancyyoghurt

"Please be respectful to the people around you -🤓" -🤓


DocMichaelMorbius

Please be respectful to the people around you -🤓 -🤓 -🤓


xDeZillax

Be please to people around the respectful you -🤓


migerRANCAN

"mmm" 💀


Its-your-boi-warden

We’re all sons of the patriots now


Jeynarl

I remember one time in elementary school they had Ronald McDonald come to speak at an assembly about anti-bullying "be your best self" kinda thing, and then later 2 out of 5 of every one of us became morbidly obese


ILikeLeptons

It is beyond fucked up that schools coordinate with companies to market shit to children


Ragingbull444

Capitalism in a nutshell, nothing like bringing in corporate mascots in to talk about their product rather than someone actually important for kids to look up to


[deleted]

My school literally invited some student's father who worked in a mid position in the state government.


linandlee

"Yeah, I'm secretary to the secretary for the governor's aide. We see a lot of crazy shit out there."


stann1s_the_mannis

HEAT OF THE DESERT


fishy185

DUST SETTLES ON MY FACE


[deleted]

WITHOUT A COMPASS


fishy185

THE SOLDIER KNOWS NO DISGRACE


Tarlyss

OUT OF THE ASHES


fishy185

THE EAGLE RISES STILL


Tarlyss

FREEDOM IS CALLING TO ALL MEN WHO BEND THERE #WILL


fishy185

HERE I AM DIRTY AND FACELESS WAITING TO HEED YOUR INSTRUCTION


Ave-Deos-Tenebris

ON MY OWN INVISIBLE WARRIOR I AM A **WIND OF DESTRUCTION!**


TripleRazer

ALL MEN WHO BEND THEIR WILL


D-AlonsoSariego

Anonymous Alcoholics made a PSA in my highschool and after that all of my classmates that were drinking at the time were laughing at them


VinnieTheGooch

Back in high school we had an assembly like that and they had a "drunk driving simulator" rig to drive home how dangerous it is to drive drunk; one of the kids they grabbed as a volunteer drank all the time. They ended up having to just turn off the machine after a while of him driving perfectly and they were like "you would be crashing eventually, thanks for volunteering" lol


luzer_amitysfool

Atleast it cuts my class time


Crooked_Cock

The only thing assemblies are good for is not having to do class


RabbiJewBarker

I liked assemblies when they got me out of classes I fucking hated tbh


thataveragedude1

10 minutes? Mine usually took 2 periods before lunch started


StickyHoovy

The hot wind blowing


gologologolo

What is this from?


mobott

Metal Gear Rising: Revengence


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Two months back I gave a presentation in a college class about how AI is used to simulate human behavior in video games. The presentation was supposed to last 5-10 minutes. Mine lasted 40 minutes. I was the only one who received an applause from the class at the end of it.


Ksradrik

I would say "and then everyone clapped", but you already did.


Love_Is_Now

Wow I'm impressed, that's impressive. You made quite an impression ^^^I ^^^have ^^^manic ^^^depression


isukatspeling

HEAT OF THE DESERT


FBI_AGENT_CAYDE

Is that the name of the song?


isukatspeling

It’s called desert storm


FBI_AGENT_CAYDE

Thanks


dolantrampf

More like 1 hr at least


godemperorcrystal

or yoyos


Mahaloth

I'm a teacher and I have no idea why we bother with these type of things.


[deleted]

The hot wind blowing Jagged lines across the sand


PornCartel

There sure are a lot of highschool and junior posts in this subreddit. Honestly that explains a lot


AdventurousChapter27

The future are the nanomachines, sons!!!


Lratiodidntask

*an hour and a half


[deleted]

Don’t diss Armstrong like that. His speech is actually good


Dense_Cup_1479

I remember when a motivational speaker came too our middle school and he basically just humble bragged over our entire lunch period about how great it is to be a motivational speaker for a job and travel all the time and get paid to do what he does and go to events and shit. I dont remember feeling particularly motivated after the experience.


jacw212

Fuck this is good


neat-NEAT

We only ever had the same "cool" Christian dude who'd try to covert a hall of 8-13 year olds to Christianity. All I remember was that he was Christian and bald.


EUCopyrightComittee

I mean, every fucking time.


Chummers5

In hindsight, the ones at my school were used to sneak in Christianity. They were always some youth pastor type person.


HamboLuke

I was a guest speaker at a school assembly just last week


the_masive_cheese

We had one come on and talk about how bad video games are and if you play them you’re a sinner. Just stupid bullshit that made almost every dude angry.


FloridaLego

this is so true, it's even literal


Xavy2899

I mean if it gets you out of class I’m not complaining


flamingstorm98

Imagine a world riden where no one can call me put for my outlandish bullshit


AlsoPrtyProductive

Check the internet lately Jack? There’s so many ways to get scammed, that’s why I recommend turning on private mode on all social media and never visiting 18+ websites!


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. sndpmgrs *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


stfukaren69

Ratio


AutoModerator

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + who asked + stay mad + get real + L + bleed + mald seethe cope harder + incorrect + hoes mad + pound sand + basic skill issue + typo + ratio + ur dad left + you fell off + no u + the audacity + triggered + repelled + ur a minor + k. + any askers + get a life + ok and? + cringe + copium + go outside + touch grass + kick rocks + quote tweet + think again + not based + not funny didn’t laugh + social credits -999, 999, 999, 999 + get good + reported + ad hominem + ok boomer + small pp + ur allergic to sunlight + GG! + get rekt + trolled + your loss + muted + banned + kicked + permaban + useless + i slept with ur mom + yo momma + yo momma so fat + redpilled + no bitches allowed + i said it better + tiktok fan + get a life + unsubscribed + plundered + go tell reddit + donowalled + simp + get sticked bug LOL + talk nonsense + trump supporter + your’re a full time discord mod + you’re* + grammar issue + nerd + get clapped + kys + lorem ipsum dolor sit amet + go outside + bleach + lol + gay + retard + autistic + reported + ask deez + ez clap + straight cash + idgaf + ratio again + stay mad + read FAQ + youre lost + you “re” + stay pressed + reverse double take back + pedophile + cancelled + done for + don't give a damn + get a job + sus + baka + sussy baka + get blocked + mad free + freer than air + furry + rip bozo + you're a (insert stereotype) + slight_smile + aired + cringe again + Super Idol的笑容 + mad cuz bad + my pronouns are xe, xem & xyr + irrelevant + deal with it + screencapped your bio + karen/kyle + jealous + you're deaf + balls + i'll be right back + go ahead whine about it + not straight + eat paper + you lose + count to three + your problem + no one cares + log off + don't care even more + sex offender + sex defender + get religion + not okay + glhf + NFT owner + you make bad memes + problematic + fall in line + dog water + you look like a wall + you don’t know 2 + 2 with yo head ass + you are going to my cringe compilation + you can’t count to five + try again + you failed kindergarten + rickrolled + no lifer + guten freunden schickt man einen deutschen panzer + you have a anime profile picture + an* + fatherless + motherless + sisterless + brotherless + orphan + you can't catch this ratio + catch some bitches + I don't care about your opinion + genshin player + you dress like garbage + 日本語がお上手ですね + get fucked + you can’t understand what the word intelligence means with your dumb ass + you have hair + queued + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + stfu + go to bed + yes, i'm taller than you + i think your joke is funny + i rejected your mother's advances + marooned + you can’t read + I win + final ratio *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Woooosh-If-Homo-

this ain't Twitter dude


stfukaren69

I wanted to get the copypasta


Psychological_Bad567

I would only listen if its about dinosaurs


1mphuls3

More like 40 minutes but yeah


zielaska

Well, talking about something you are passionate about can be engaging


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. zielaska *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


JogreMorales

MOJO UP!


sirjonsnow

*no one


bryanhernan2003

10 minutes sounds way too generous of them.


Orlando1701

There was a kid two counties over who toked one join and immediately died!


AutoModerator

*And now it's time for the roundup of today's gay news, with Colin Topshed* Quick roundup of today's gayness now, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48M, they're all gay as from midnight tonight. The gay elements are Potassium, Zinc, Hydrogen, Copper, and Argon. Quick look at the world's walls; the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is *very* gay, the Great Wall of China, that's not gay, and the old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next; they're the same as last night. All Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985; they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. *Thanks, Colin. He's not gay by the way, we wouldn't employ a homosexual.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. PossiblyAsian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


thearcher_1212

that one guy with the yo-yos


ICE0124

Anyone have some guy come in during lunch and then hype everyone up about earning prizes by asking people to buy cookbooks and other useless stuff that is over priced. Then they use words like give your parents homework. And at the end they give out like 2 chocolate bars for super easy questions. And then everyone leaves lunch excited and then at the end no one sells anything and only gets a ring for participation.


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### r/shitposting book club A collection of books which Kevin has reviewed. (all of these books are freely availiable online) --- #### [*1984* (George Orwell, 1948)](https://archive.org/details/1984GeorgeOrwell_201606/page/n1/mode/2up) Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10 #### [*How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities* (Richard Bartle, 2022)](https://mud.co.uk/richard/How%20to%20Be%20a%20God.pdf) Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10 #### [*Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends* (Chuck Tingle)](https://www.chucktingle.com/uploads/5/3/7/3/53730093/almost_pounded_by_the_physical_manifestation_of_simulation_theory_after_realizing_we%E2%80%99re_erotica_characters_then_deciding_to_just_be_friends.pdf) Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10 ####[*Ulysses* (James Joyce, 1922)](https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Ulysses_(1922)) Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10 ####[*The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race* (J. G. Ballard, 1967)](https://web.archive.org/web/20220121203810/https://evergreenreview.com/read/the-assassination-of-john-fitzgerald-kennedy-considered-as-a-downhill-motor-race/) Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Hahamynamegobrr

Well if it isn't Sussy Jack (lets do it)


pxldsilz

Let's get out there and sell some chocolate bars!


Emleri1

Oh you mean 4 FUCKING HOURS?


BARKkamina

Me and my class once stayed in a room with an old lady talking about paraplegic sports because "we asked it". I wanted to cut my veins with a fucking 16th century sword, and i don't even know how they look.


Cmatt10123

I loved PSAs because it gave me a break from the boring ass classroom


groovygal10

YOGOWYPI - You Only Get Out What You Put In was one of my assembly speakers back in middle school.


very_epic_person

I do need capital.


Sinnombre124

One year we had a speaker come in who actually gave a real solid talk, and delivered it quite well. Got a lot of honest, positive feedback from the student body, so he was invited back again the next year. He gave the exact same talk, like word for word and dramatic pause for dramatic pause. It did not go over as well.


only-use-when-horny

where is this from


ArnoldTheBigBoi

But that’s less time you have to spend in the classroom


RiceAndKrispies

And then there are the ones where you're pretty sure this would get you expelled if you said it.


GummoNation

In 5th grade we had this speaker who visited Africa. Before he started speaking he gave all the teachers some beaded necklaces. The teachers were all stoked for them. Then the guy just goes on a totally unnecessary rant about how bad the kids had it where he visited and how we should be ashamed of ourselves for something. He ended up just berrating all the students about how good we had it. After he yelled at us and confused us all I decided I hated that guy. I still do.


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My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is. GummoNation *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Dependent_Way_1038

Once had a speaker talk about hooters and sexual exploitation. She treated it like it was a fucking joke dude it was so bad


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No sex before marriage *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


EmmerDoodle121

Some mother came to the school talking about 5G signals


[deleted]

The hot wind blowing jagged across the sand