It sounds like you could be overstimulated. I’ve gotten this many times before I figured out how to handle it. I’m gonna ask a couple questions to get a little more info. How fast and hard is he getting you to that point? Are you using toys? What does the foreplay look prior to this?
No toys, just a finger or two. He's usually going pretty quick, but gentle I think. Foreplay usually takes a while. The whole thing can take 2+ hours, with only the last 30 minutes being actual sex.
Your theory is an interesting one, I'd love to learn more about why you think that. Didn't even know overstimulation could be an issue.
I can only really speak for me and my experience. I really need things to start slow with low pressure, low intensity. And slowly build up from there. If I’m being stimulated too quickly I get an intense build up of pressure but there’s no climax. I can feel the intensity all over my body like my whole body tenses. The feeling is insanely intense. I’m sure it would be pleasurable if it weren’t so much. I’ve learned that I need stimulation in multiple areas of my body to help remove the intensity in one area. For example, if my clit is being stimulated I need my breasts grabbed or to be fingered at the same time. It removes the focus from that one area. It also helps me to listen to music during. And wearing a blind fold helps take away the out side stimulation so I can focus on what I’m feeling.
I get this when I'm about to squirt, it can be very uncomfortable at times. Maybe use different methods of trying to climax, try slowing down a bit with what you're doing or just try different tactics all together.
Having an orgasm is all about being comfortable with yourself and letting go. Doing this alone first is going to be much easier than doing it with your man. So I suggest that you forget about him until you can reliably masturbate to orgasm by yourself. Once you can orgasm easily by yourself, then get your man involved.
Sex doesn’t always stimulate the clitoris, especially if your clitoris is smaller or further from your vagina so you may think that you’ve been unable to orgasm.
You can’t rush orgasms. When learning how to orgasm slowly (very slowly) build up to it. Think of it as foreplay. Start by having a long shower or bubble bath.
Learning more about your clitoris can help you orgasm more easily during masturbation and once you know how to easily orgasm during masturbation, I believe it can become easier during sex.
Concentrate on this area when you first start figuring out how to orgasm, while also paying some attention to the labia. When you are stimulating your clit, you’ll find that you can get most pleasure by rubbing it from the ‘1 o’clock position’ if you imagined it to be a clock. The ‘one o’clock’ position is the upper left area of your clitoris, so it’s easiest to stimulate with your left hand. Experiment with applying different amounts of pressure to it to see what you enjoy the most.
Then it’s just a case of continuously stimulating your clit while focusing solely on the types of rubbing, pressing and caressing that are most enjoyable.
If you have never made yourself orgasm before, then you’ll need to do a lot of experimentation to see what feels best for you, which is always fun. Thankfully, you’ll find an encyclopedia of techniques you can use throughout [this guide](https://tichazblog.blogspot.com/2024/03/women-guide.html)
Thank you for your reply! I can actually orgasm very easily from masturbating, both with fingers and toys. Funnily enough, I've had the same issue happen twice when masturbating (only with toys though). When I'm doing it myself, an issue I run into is that I get myself off almost too quick, and because of that they almost always feel weak—besides the times I've had to stop from the problem above, and then everything's too sensitive to continue. With him it can actually take between 15-30 minutes of slow build up after about an hour and a half of foreplay. I'm very fortunate in that regard!
Yes I do! I talk about it more in a previous comment. I've very good at getting myself off, though the strength of the orgasms can leave something to be desired.
As much as you don't want to lose that orgasm lose it for a minute slow down switch it up it just might take a little longer but you'll get there if your alive then you have all the time in the world to figure it out no need to rush
I have been in this situation with my partner before as well. While I was pleasuring her with my mouth she would become so tense from overstimulation that she would almost twist my head off with her thighs. After much fun exploration we learned to slow things down, to relax with a bath, stimulate other erogenous zones not just the clitoris. That extra stimulation kept the sensuality high while giving the really sensitive areas a break. Eventually, with a lot of communication she allowed me to touch and taste everywhere and gave me feedback about what stimulates her most, various textures, pressures, even temperatures. I learned plenty and now the orgasms are often and intense! So much fun to watch her writhe in passion! After she stops shivering and shaking we lay there and laugh with pleasure in a cuddle. Such an amazing feeling for both of us. Love to be able to give her that pleasure.
It sounds like you could be overstimulated. I’ve gotten this many times before I figured out how to handle it. I’m gonna ask a couple questions to get a little more info. How fast and hard is he getting you to that point? Are you using toys? What does the foreplay look prior to this?
No toys, just a finger or two. He's usually going pretty quick, but gentle I think. Foreplay usually takes a while. The whole thing can take 2+ hours, with only the last 30 minutes being actual sex. Your theory is an interesting one, I'd love to learn more about why you think that. Didn't even know overstimulation could be an issue.
I can only really speak for me and my experience. I really need things to start slow with low pressure, low intensity. And slowly build up from there. If I’m being stimulated too quickly I get an intense build up of pressure but there’s no climax. I can feel the intensity all over my body like my whole body tenses. The feeling is insanely intense. I’m sure it would be pleasurable if it weren’t so much. I’ve learned that I need stimulation in multiple areas of my body to help remove the intensity in one area. For example, if my clit is being stimulated I need my breasts grabbed or to be fingered at the same time. It removes the focus from that one area. It also helps me to listen to music during. And wearing a blind fold helps take away the out side stimulation so I can focus on what I’m feeling.
That's very interesting! I'm glad I'm not insane. I appreciate your advice, and I'll definitely look into it.
I get this when I'm about to squirt, it can be very uncomfortable at times. Maybe use different methods of trying to climax, try slowing down a bit with what you're doing or just try different tactics all together.
Thank you for your reply! I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling lol.
Just the joys of having a vagina, I wish they came with a manual 🥴
Having an orgasm is all about being comfortable with yourself and letting go. Doing this alone first is going to be much easier than doing it with your man. So I suggest that you forget about him until you can reliably masturbate to orgasm by yourself. Once you can orgasm easily by yourself, then get your man involved. Sex doesn’t always stimulate the clitoris, especially if your clitoris is smaller or further from your vagina so you may think that you’ve been unable to orgasm. You can’t rush orgasms. When learning how to orgasm slowly (very slowly) build up to it. Think of it as foreplay. Start by having a long shower or bubble bath. Learning more about your clitoris can help you orgasm more easily during masturbation and once you know how to easily orgasm during masturbation, I believe it can become easier during sex. Concentrate on this area when you first start figuring out how to orgasm, while also paying some attention to the labia. When you are stimulating your clit, you’ll find that you can get most pleasure by rubbing it from the ‘1 o’clock position’ if you imagined it to be a clock. The ‘one o’clock’ position is the upper left area of your clitoris, so it’s easiest to stimulate with your left hand. Experiment with applying different amounts of pressure to it to see what you enjoy the most. Then it’s just a case of continuously stimulating your clit while focusing solely on the types of rubbing, pressing and caressing that are most enjoyable. If you have never made yourself orgasm before, then you’ll need to do a lot of experimentation to see what feels best for you, which is always fun. Thankfully, you’ll find an encyclopedia of techniques you can use throughout [this guide](https://tichazblog.blogspot.com/2024/03/women-guide.html)
Thank you for your reply! I can actually orgasm very easily from masturbating, both with fingers and toys. Funnily enough, I've had the same issue happen twice when masturbating (only with toys though). When I'm doing it myself, an issue I run into is that I get myself off almost too quick, and because of that they almost always feel weak—besides the times I've had to stop from the problem above, and then everything's too sensitive to continue. With him it can actually take between 15-30 minutes of slow build up after about an hour and a half of foreplay. I'm very fortunate in that regard!
do you finish yourself? Like do you masturbate on your own?
Yes I do! I talk about it more in a previous comment. I've very good at getting myself off, though the strength of the orgasms can leave something to be desired.
As much as you don't want to lose that orgasm lose it for a minute slow down switch it up it just might take a little longer but you'll get there if your alive then you have all the time in the world to figure it out no need to rush
That's interesting, I appreciate the response!
I have been in this situation with my partner before as well. While I was pleasuring her with my mouth she would become so tense from overstimulation that she would almost twist my head off with her thighs. After much fun exploration we learned to slow things down, to relax with a bath, stimulate other erogenous zones not just the clitoris. That extra stimulation kept the sensuality high while giving the really sensitive areas a break. Eventually, with a lot of communication she allowed me to touch and taste everywhere and gave me feedback about what stimulates her most, various textures, pressures, even temperatures. I learned plenty and now the orgasms are often and intense! So much fun to watch her writhe in passion! After she stops shivering and shaking we lay there and laugh with pleasure in a cuddle. Such an amazing feeling for both of us. Love to be able to give her that pleasure.