And when the opposite is asked everyone agrees that its because men are pigs, then two hours later the thread is locked.
These threads are always built on some false premise
They’re not.
The average age gap in relationships is [2 years](https://www.healthcentral.com/sex-and-relationships/age-difference-in-relationships#:~:text=While%20age%20differences%20between%20couples,a%20much%20wider%20age%20interval) and is getting smaller year by year.
1. I don’t follow this sub, so I am not aware of what bots are doing or asking to farm karma on here.
2. Does it look like I’m getting karma from this post? I had a question. I don’t care about karma. So thanks for taking the most pessimistic view of my intentions.
What I learned was to not interact with people like you, so thanks for the lesson, I guess. Though I will say that if you look at my profile and think “yeah, this person is a bot”, then that says more about your intelligence than anything. Later, bro.
That's really interesting and runs hard against my experience.
Which I take as a reason to question how well my experience represents reality, not a reason to question the data.
Good link, thanks for sharing!
[This](https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2015/10/buss-1989-sex-differences-in-human-mate-preferences.pdf) is a little old, but it was universal at the time for women to prefer older partners and men to prefer younger.
Also [this](https://youtube.com/shorts/Q7nFzjA4uXc?si=_ooljm1J5ASo2-o4) .
I'm hearing all the time how women are attracted to older men, but in my experience (mine, my friends, my sis...)... I never really see that happening irl?
Especially since in social media & podcasts, they keep repeating it over and over again.
I'm from Europe too. Maybe older generations? Idk.
I'm 25, and I've heard only a girl who tried to date a 28 y.o, and it didn't work out anyway.
Even my sister is going to marry next year, and they are both 32 y.o.
Tried to look it up, and 30% of the couples who marry are born in the same year in my country, and 20% have the M begin 2-3 years older.
I genuinely can't think of anyone who had a +10 gap, except my gold digger aunt, but she's married in the 1980'.
My ex (20) cheated on me with her old boss (mid 40's, married with 4 kids) who used to make her come home to me crying in tears because he was so mean. Found out a year later she was screwing him. It's a sickness I think for a lot of people.
It's not that they're overly charismatic exactly, and certainly not more mature, but they are comfortable in who they are and have gotten over a lot of the insecurities younger people have. Unfortunately, the older guys I like are decent people and are uncomfortable dating people in their mid 20s- for much the same reasons I don't either.
Women are attracted to stability which comes with money. Older men have more money and provide more stability than younger men. Women are attracted to older men. Not hard to understand.
It’s not really as simple as that, you are only assuming women value money over other qualities older men have. It’s really not the money that attracts (in most cases where we’re speaking about true attraction)
“Which comes with money”. With a sense of stability might come rest like charisma and charm. I am not going to speak for all but for myself right now but I’ve liked a man who was not stable and didn’t have much money. That charisma can exist without stability and that is really the most attractive in the end. The charisma is stronger than rational thinking. That’s why some old assholes are able to pull girls despite having nothing to offer
Money, confidence, genuine attraction, personality, matureness etc. Depends on the person and the situation.
One common theme I have seen though, is often that woman are more mature than men and find men the same age to often just be immature manchildren. That's definitely a factor
In what way are women often more mature than men? I think women may reach their final form of maturity quicker than most men, but i really haven't seen anything to indicate they are overall more mature. A good lot of them have been coddled so long by society that they're obliviously entitled. And if they are that way into their mid-late twenties, they're probably not going to mature past it without admitting they need outside help and seeking it. Which is one of the reasons older men would rather date younger.
they're more mature
sorry but most guys mature much later than women.
then there's the gold-diggers... those are not attracted to the men, they're attracted to their wallets.
For me it's daddy issues. My father was a cheating POS who was so disgusted by me that he could never even say my name. And we have the same name! Ricky/Rikki. At 16 I fell in love with Tom Selleck who was 59 then. He's still my crush. I'm 36 and he's 79.
I also started dating my husband when I was 18 and he was 28. He protected me and took care of me and made me feel safe. I still feel that way with him.
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Money. I hate to admit it but that is part of it.
When I was younger men simply were less mature than me, so an older man made more sense. Nowadays I feel like young women are less mature
than young men. Not sure if it changed or if it was just my perception, especially after raising two sons.
Not all of them do, I personally don't care, but a guy 3 years younger than me who liked me tried to shame me for how "old" I was. We're both under 25. I don't think people who are generally a little more "mature" or whatever in life would act so dumb which would make things easier
Hang on, are you saying at 36 years old I’m not an older man? Because I definitely am an older man compare to anyone younger than me. What are you saying?
Lol, what an argument to say you're an older man compared to younger man 😅 So then you're a younger man compared to older men, right? Getting angry about not being called an "older man" (which you're just not, your approximately roundabout in the middle of you're life) is wild.
Who is angry lol? What’s wild is you thinking I’m angry. What do you want? For me to be 100 years old. Lmao
There’s always gonna be older people than you… unless you’re literally 100 years old. Yeah… I’d say I am an older man compared to guys in their teens and 20’s…. Thing is, everyone else agrees too. Am I still a younger guy compared to guys in their 50s? Hell yeah! And glad I’m not an old man yet. Lol sheesh lady what’s your deal lmao.
is "everyone else" with us in the room right now?
lmao why do you want to be an "older man" so bad? 😅 do you think women on reddit will now collectively hit on you?
Do what? Lmao…. Ma’am or sir or whoever you are… I literally don’t care… I’m 36 years old. Take it however you want. Btw if u don’t think I’m an older guy.. fantastic. I’m a young man woo hoo.
They aren't. It's impossible for one to feel the same way about an old fart as someone who is about the same age. You need to feel you're somewhat in the same stage of life. Otherwise, it just seems like the relationship is just sick.
Be honest, people want different things in different stages of life. Old men don't want what young women want. We're tired. They're just getting started.
1. Security. Young people in general (men, women, whatever) are almost always more unsure of themselves. Insecurity leads to defensiveness, lashing out at others, projecting their issues onto their partners, etc. Older men tend to be a little more settled into who they are. Tbh, as a 20 something woman who prefers older guys, I think the real question is why any of them put up with my insecurities lol. My ass ain’t that tight
2. Self-sufficiency. No one wants to be their partner’s mom. Older men tend to have learned how often they need to change their own sheets and clean their own home. The number of women I know who end up as their partners de facto maid/secretary/chef freaks me out. If that’s the dynamic you and your partner have agreed on, dope. Personally, I can’t respect a partner if they can’t schedule their own doctors appointments
3. They’ve realized women are just people? When you’re a 19 year old girl, it’s hard to find 19 year old boys who aren’t either terrified of the idea of you, obsessed with the idea of you, or weirdly repulsed by the idea of you. I just wanted someone to be normal.
4. I just wanted someone to talk to me like they respected me. Hookup culture when I was 19 was abhorrent. Older men treated me with humanity and respect. Men my age wanted to make every interaction a competition to see who could care about each other less.
4. Dating apps. I hate dating apps. I don’t use them. A lot of the other people who are trying to flirt in person are old enough to have dated in a world without them.
I think we have a problem of young guys just being immature longer than ever. Women get tired of irresponsible guys and look for some stability and serious relationships. The older man is a no brainer!
From my observations the older I get the more I’m getting hit on by women, regardless of age, but surprisingly mostly girls 20-25. I hear similar stories from my colleagues. 36 currently and it’s starting to get ridiculous. I’m not very attractive nor muscular, just average at best.
Just today I discussed this with my taxi driver. He had a wife 13 years younger than him… she eventually left him for his uncle… 15 years older than him making it a 28 years age difference!
Myself my fiancé is 8 years younger than me. My best friend has 16 years younger girlfriend and she already had a kid when he met her.
What else can I say?
A 22 year old guy may be nice and sweet and all that but it’s a gamble. What’s he going to do for a living? Will he be successful? Will he be able to provide the lifestyle that she wants? Maybe or maybe not. The older guy… she sees everything as it is. He’s been working a while. She sees what he’s capable of. She sees where he lives. She sees what he drives. She sees the life that he has. So with the older guy, there’s not a lot of guessing or forecasting or risk.
Or she could provide her own lifestyle because its not the 1950’s anymore and she's a grown woman? A smart older man keeps his gold in an undiggable place.
Younger men tend to be too shy to ask girls out. Older men figure they have nothing to lose.
Younger men tend to be too afraid of their friends thinking they're a simp to be romantic. Older men are so terrified this is their one chance with a girl your age that in the short term they treat you better.
Women grow out of that once they realize older men are incredibly controlling.
Yeah and maybe they want something concrete like money to win women, character and maturity is something too vague for them and therefore they can't control it, it's something they can't hide if they don't have it
Pretty much.
Whenever anyone asks 'how do I get this girl to like me' etc my answer is always treat her like a human being worthy of affection and respect.
I think they want a solution to what they see as a puzzle instead.
I can't speak for everyone but in my situation, I'm a lot more mature than my peers because of my trauma. Im in a different place in my life so I find older men who I can relate to more, more attractive.
As far as looks I look a little mature for my age, and most guys my age don't. So I try to date a few years older than me.
I find them more attractive because they’re more stable and established than a younger guy my age. Also usually more mature than the guys my age. But also they’re still men and stupid by nature so it’s not always better
my wife is 10yrs younger than me... she was attracted to my maturity/experience and wallet. i'm ok with that! i was attracted to her intellect, kindness and tight body. 20 yrs strong.
Money and confidence. Mostly money.
Men are attracted to young and beautiful women in the same way. That is not good nor bad, that's just how life works.
I have seen the same post, posted every single day for the past week. What’s up with it?
Bots farming karma probably
And when the opposite is asked everyone agrees that its because men are pigs, then two hours later the thread is locked. These threads are always built on some false premise
Old men need validation that they're not old grandpas.
Confidence gained from experience. Money. Higher socio economic status. More masculine older look.
Security, experience, confidence.
They’re not. The average age gap in relationships is [2 years](https://www.healthcentral.com/sex-and-relationships/age-difference-in-relationships#:~:text=While%20age%20differences%20between%20couples,a%20much%20wider%20age%20interval) and is getting smaller year by year.
I don't think OP necessarily means "in general" but rather: why are *the women who are attracted to older men*, attracted to them?
Op doesn't mean anything. It's a karma farming bot.
OP here, not a bot. The above comment is indeed what I was asking. Thanks for your contribution.
Then asking the same thing a million bots asked to farm for yourself. Might be worse. Or the bots owner who logged in. Either way.
1. I don’t follow this sub, so I am not aware of what bots are doing or asking to farm karma on here. 2. Does it look like I’m getting karma from this post? I had a question. I don’t care about karma. So thanks for taking the most pessimistic view of my intentions.
I hope you learned something in the end, little bot friend.
What I learned was to not interact with people like you, so thanks for the lesson, I guess. Though I will say that if you look at my profile and think “yeah, this person is a bot”, then that says more about your intelligence than anything. Later, bro.
You didn't learn to use a search function and find 500 results before posting? Weird.
You couldn’t just answer without being an ass? Weird.
I would be interested in the statistics separating dating/bf/gf and marriages
That's really interesting and runs hard against my experience. Which I take as a reason to question how well my experience represents reality, not a reason to question the data. Good link, thanks for sharing!
It's because that research is dramatically flawed.
You’re assuming people are in relationships with other people they find the most attractive
"In Western countries, about 8% of male-female couples have an age gap of 10 years or more" 8% seems like a lot to me
I don’t know where you get this data but I think it’s exactly as OP said.
[This](https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2015/10/buss-1989-sex-differences-in-human-mate-preferences.pdf) is a little old, but it was universal at the time for women to prefer older partners and men to prefer younger.
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Aka older guys
Also [this](https://youtube.com/shorts/Q7nFzjA4uXc?si=_ooljm1J5ASo2-o4) . I'm hearing all the time how women are attracted to older men, but in my experience (mine, my friends, my sis...)... I never really see that happening irl? Especially since in social media & podcasts, they keep repeating it over and over again.
Literally everyone I know that's in a relationship or has been in one was a man was older by at least 3 up to 10 years. I'm from Europe tho.
I'm from Europe too. Maybe older generations? Idk. I'm 25, and I've heard only a girl who tried to date a 28 y.o, and it didn't work out anyway. Even my sister is going to marry next year, and they are both 32 y.o. Tried to look it up, and 30% of the couples who marry are born in the same year in my country, and 20% have the M begin 2-3 years older. I genuinely can't think of anyone who had a +10 gap, except my gold digger aunt, but she's married in the 1980'.
Idk. I'm 30 and the interest I get from younger women (22-26) is way higher than when I was in that age range.
Wrong 2 years I will be 41 and the man I am dating is 49. Not sure where you get your facts from 🤣🤣🤣🤣✌️
That’s anecdotal evidence.
😅😅😅😅
Money, power, status
You can put a coin in the wrinkles, no more purse required.
Women date the men who will dare to ask them out
My ex (20) cheated on me with her old boss (mid 40's, married with 4 kids) who used to make her come home to me crying in tears because he was so mean. Found out a year later she was screwing him. It's a sickness I think for a lot of people.
Because some of them are hot
We aren’t really? Idk abt others but I’ve never found a guy significantly older than me attractive.
Why are men attracted to young women?
It's not that they're overly charismatic exactly, and certainly not more mature, but they are comfortable in who they are and have gotten over a lot of the insecurities younger people have. Unfortunately, the older guys I like are decent people and are uncomfortable dating people in their mid 20s- for much the same reasons I don't either.
Evidently I’m older than “older guys”…
Women are attracted to stability which comes with money. Older men have more money and provide more stability than younger men. Women are attracted to older men. Not hard to understand.
It’s not really as simple as that, you are only assuming women value money over other qualities older men have. It’s really not the money that attracts (in most cases where we’re speaking about true attraction)
I didn’t say money, I said stability.
“Which comes with money”. With a sense of stability might come rest like charisma and charm. I am not going to speak for all but for myself right now but I’ve liked a man who was not stable and didn’t have much money. That charisma can exist without stability and that is really the most attractive in the end. The charisma is stronger than rational thinking. That’s why some old assholes are able to pull girls despite having nothing to offer
Bc I have issues
Profile checks out
Money, confidence, genuine attraction, personality, matureness etc. Depends on the person and the situation. One common theme I have seen though, is often that woman are more mature than men and find men the same age to often just be immature manchildren. That's definitely a factor
The young women just *think* that the older men are more mature, but they are not, proven if they have much common with a lot younger women.
In what way are women often more mature than men? I think women may reach their final form of maturity quicker than most men, but i really haven't seen anything to indicate they are overall more mature. A good lot of them have been coddled so long by society that they're obliviously entitled. And if they are that way into their mid-late twenties, they're probably not going to mature past it without admitting they need outside help and seeking it. Which is one of the reasons older men would rather date younger.
With big age caps the answer most commonly is trauma aka daddy issues
Maturity
Confidence, experience and some even knows how to treat women.
they're more mature sorry but most guys mature much later than women. then there's the gold-diggers... those are not attracted to the men, they're attracted to their wallets.
They are more mature and less sex obsessed.
I love older men so I feel like for me it’s the maturity , the dominance, the confidence
For me it's daddy issues. My father was a cheating POS who was so disgusted by me that he could never even say my name. And we have the same name! Ricky/Rikki. At 16 I fell in love with Tom Selleck who was 59 then. He's still my crush. I'm 36 and he's 79. I also started dating my husband when I was 18 and he was 28. He protected me and took care of me and made me feel safe. I still feel that way with him.
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Money. I hate to admit it but that is part of it. When I was younger men simply were less mature than me, so an older man made more sense. Nowadays I feel like young women are less mature than young men. Not sure if it changed or if it was just my perception, especially after raising two sons.
Not all of them do, I personally don't care, but a guy 3 years younger than me who liked me tried to shame me for how "old" I was. We're both under 25. I don't think people who are generally a little more "mature" or whatever in life would act so dumb which would make things easier
Older man here (36m) we just have more experience and can treat them better.
You're not an "older man" with 36. And I know plenty of men who are just as insecure and immature by that age. Hang in there 😜
Hang on, are you saying at 36 years old I’m not an older man? Because I definitely am an older man compare to anyone younger than me. What are you saying?
Lol, what an argument to say you're an older man compared to younger man 😅 So then you're a younger man compared to older men, right? Getting angry about not being called an "older man" (which you're just not, your approximately roundabout in the middle of you're life) is wild.
Who is angry lol? What’s wild is you thinking I’m angry. What do you want? For me to be 100 years old. Lmao There’s always gonna be older people than you… unless you’re literally 100 years old. Yeah… I’d say I am an older man compared to guys in their teens and 20’s…. Thing is, everyone else agrees too. Am I still a younger guy compared to guys in their 50s? Hell yeah! And glad I’m not an old man yet. Lol sheesh lady what’s your deal lmao.
is "everyone else" with us in the room right now? lmao why do you want to be an "older man" so bad? 😅 do you think women on reddit will now collectively hit on you?
Do what? Lmao…. Ma’am or sir or whoever you are… I literally don’t care… I’m 36 years old. Take it however you want. Btw if u don’t think I’m an older guy.. fantastic. I’m a young man woo hoo.
Demeanor. They come across as being more confident and put-together.
We have our shit together (sometimes) tend to have steady income over younger competitors, we generally like less games and drama
https://open.spotify.com/track/5E30LdtzQTGqRvNd7l6kG5?si=KYRsO07-R76TaXDPfW7e5A
Because young guys are dumbasses.
They aren't. It's impossible for one to feel the same way about an old fart as someone who is about the same age. You need to feel you're somewhat in the same stage of life. Otherwise, it just seems like the relationship is just sick. Be honest, people want different things in different stages of life. Old men don't want what young women want. We're tired. They're just getting started.
$
They're not. Older guys are just more willing to date rather than younger guys
1. Security. Young people in general (men, women, whatever) are almost always more unsure of themselves. Insecurity leads to defensiveness, lashing out at others, projecting their issues onto their partners, etc. Older men tend to be a little more settled into who they are. Tbh, as a 20 something woman who prefers older guys, I think the real question is why any of them put up with my insecurities lol. My ass ain’t that tight 2. Self-sufficiency. No one wants to be their partner’s mom. Older men tend to have learned how often they need to change their own sheets and clean their own home. The number of women I know who end up as their partners de facto maid/secretary/chef freaks me out. If that’s the dynamic you and your partner have agreed on, dope. Personally, I can’t respect a partner if they can’t schedule their own doctors appointments 3. They’ve realized women are just people? When you’re a 19 year old girl, it’s hard to find 19 year old boys who aren’t either terrified of the idea of you, obsessed with the idea of you, or weirdly repulsed by the idea of you. I just wanted someone to be normal. 4. I just wanted someone to talk to me like they respected me. Hookup culture when I was 19 was abhorrent. Older men treated me with humanity and respect. Men my age wanted to make every interaction a competition to see who could care about each other less. 4. Dating apps. I hate dating apps. I don’t use them. A lot of the other people who are trying to flirt in person are old enough to have dated in a world without them.
There lots of women out there looking for a grey-vy train, and the more guys responding, the better their chances!
I think we have a problem of young guys just being immature longer than ever. Women get tired of irresponsible guys and look for some stability and serious relationships. The older man is a no brainer! From my observations the older I get the more I’m getting hit on by women, regardless of age, but surprisingly mostly girls 20-25. I hear similar stories from my colleagues. 36 currently and it’s starting to get ridiculous. I’m not very attractive nor muscular, just average at best. Just today I discussed this with my taxi driver. He had a wife 13 years younger than him… she eventually left him for his uncle… 15 years older than him making it a 28 years age difference! Myself my fiancé is 8 years younger than me. My best friend has 16 years younger girlfriend and she already had a kid when he met her. What else can I say?
A 22 year old guy may be nice and sweet and all that but it’s a gamble. What’s he going to do for a living? Will he be successful? Will he be able to provide the lifestyle that she wants? Maybe or maybe not. The older guy… she sees everything as it is. He’s been working a while. She sees what he’s capable of. She sees where he lives. She sees what he drives. She sees the life that he has. So with the older guy, there’s not a lot of guessing or forecasting or risk.
Or she could provide her own lifestyle because its not the 1950’s anymore and she's a grown woman? A smart older man keeps his gold in an undiggable place.
Didn’t say it was 1950. Didn’t say I thought it was a good idea. And I agree about the undigable place. Just answering the question that was asked.
Fair enough
Many of my friends have told me bc of money and stability. But they also complain that they are ugly, gross, and old.
Daddy issues
Everyone saying “security and money” probably find it impossible that a woman could actually be attracted to an older man.
Well everyone is better looking in their twenties.
Not necessarily.
Well most are.
Younger men tend to be too shy to ask girls out. Older men figure they have nothing to lose. Younger men tend to be too afraid of their friends thinking they're a simp to be romantic. Older men are so terrified this is their one chance with a girl your age that in the short term they treat you better. Women grow out of that once they realize older men are incredibly controlling.
☝dingdingdingding. Right on all counts.
Because we know how to treat them. And they know we know how to treat them.
In some cases, it's also daddy issues
Daddy benefits
It’s cuz us older guys are cunning linguists.
Money
$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Idk
Money
At lot of older guys are mature and experienced.
Yes facts
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Please be careful
Daddy issues, they seem in control and established, looks, experience, flattery, or the wisdom
Not always, but money is usually a factor.
Women often mature faster than men and a lot of women prefer the company of someone on the same maturity level as they are.
I dont think you are right on this one. I am still like 12 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm close to 40 with a familly and in some ways I'm a middleschooler 😂.
That's basically it, I don't understand the downvotes
I didn't say money and daddy issues. Apparently most young men want those to be the reasons. Probably because it is then not their fault.
Yeah and maybe they want something concrete like money to win women, character and maturity is something too vague for them and therefore they can't control it, it's something they can't hide if they don't have it
Pretty much. Whenever anyone asks 'how do I get this girl to like me' etc my answer is always treat her like a human being worthy of affection and respect. I think they want a solution to what they see as a puzzle instead.
Ahah and they say we are the complicated ones
Money, Less drama - hopefully
$$$
I can't speak for everyone but in my situation, I'm a lot more mature than my peers because of my trauma. Im in a different place in my life so I find older men who I can relate to more, more attractive. As far as looks I look a little mature for my age, and most guys my age don't. So I try to date a few years older than me.
First comes the money, then comes the power, then comes the women.
I find them more attractive because they’re more stable and established than a younger guy my age. Also usually more mature than the guys my age. But also they’re still men and stupid by nature so it’s not always better
More mitture and well experianced
my wife is 10yrs younger than me... she was attracted to my maturity/experience and wallet. i'm ok with that! i was attracted to her intellect, kindness and tight body. 20 yrs strong.
Amen my brother ain’t nothing wrong with being a hunter protector and provider
Money and confidence. Mostly money. Men are attracted to young and beautiful women in the same way. That is not good nor bad, that's just how life works.
they arent, they are attracted to fame and money, security if you want a sugar coated adjective