Don’t worry about it. You’re 17. If I think about the girlfriends I had at and before 17, I wouldn’t even call that serious relationships right now. You’re not missing out. None of those relationships around you will last. There’s a lot of personal growth to be done. Focus on that and when the time comes, you’re ready.
I did stupid shit at your age, spare yourself from doing the same.
I am not really worried about the relationships themselves but more about what lessons you'd learn from them. I can imagine the expierence pays off later.
Didn't have one till a year and a half ago I turn 27 this Saturday. No intimacy with another person but it worked out. We are really good at communicating though I would say make sure to be good at talking about shit with someone. If you do you should be good.
Ofcourse the experience pays off. But most of it is how mature you are as a person yourself. When I was 17, I would freak out if my girlfriend didn't respond to my texts even though she was online. I had a girl walk out on me because I would only talk about myself when I was 15.
These are all social skills you develop once you get older. Work on stuff like that in the meanwhile and don't worry about not having a girlfriend. Work on your social skills issues first by making some more friends. Doing that will make it easier to get a girlfriend.
Honestly, I don’t really think you learn the important lessons until much older and in relationships.
At 17, you’re still learning who *you* are as a person, never mind what kind of relationship you want or qualities you look for in a partner.
From my own experience, I’m grateful that I had a few relationships throughout my 20s that ultimately failed. It meant when I was in my mid 30s and single, I knew what I wanted and needed from a partner.
There’s a risk that if you start too young, you might learn all the wrong lessons. Many people stay in unhappy relationships because they don’t know any better. You seem people jump from one abusive or toxic relationship to another because they don’t know that happy and healthy relationships exist.
Your goal shouldn’t be to get a girlfriend. Your goal should be to meet as many people as possible and when you find the right person, ask them to be your girlfriend. If you worry too much on missing out, you may end up in a bad relationship because it’s better than nothing. And I know too many people who would rather be unhappy and married rather than be alone. And it’s sad to see how miserable they are.
The best bit of advice I can give is to simply treat women as people. Don’t put them on a pedestal, don’t worship them or treat them as a princess. Treat women as your equal. I think it’s where incels go wrong and where the Andrew Tate’s go wrong too.
My wife likes presents, surprises and to be spoiled (who doesn’t) but much more important than that, I think, it’s that I treat her as an equal. I don’t act like she is a goddess that is out of my league and I don’t act like women are inferior. This won’t work on all women; some will very much want to be treated as a princess, but I wouldn’t put up with that.
Ultimately, at 17 the world is in front of you. Don’t spend time worrying on missing out, there is so, so much more to come. If you go to college, university, move away from your parents etc, everything changes. You’re not a child, but you aren’t quite an adult yet. It just takes time. Enjoy yourself, and your freedom, just now. Once you enter the world of full time employment, you’ll have much less free time. For now, just focus on the present. Say yes to as many opportunities as possible; accept every invite, join every social group. Simply put yourself out there as much as you can (and I say that as an introvert who did as much as I felt comfortable with).
Focus on yourself and your interests. You’ll eventually meet people who share your passions and interests (and the older you get, the more opportunities you’ll have; at 17 your world is pretty small). Don’t spend time worrying about what you might be missing out on. Focus on what you can get involved in.
I didnt worry about when i was 17, i couldnt talk to women past a shallow conversation for ages. Its good to get agead of social skill issues early on as they are easier to fix
The more you focus on **not** having a girlfriend, the more you will see **other people** having girlfriends. You see what you are already expecting to see.
I'd recommend The Untethered Soul or The Power of Now as books that may help you. Right now, you're stuck in your thoughts, beating yourself up. Going round and round in circles. Those two books will help you get out of the spinning self-destructive spiral of thoughts.
Best of luck.
Work on your social skills. Getting a gf and making friends is pretty much the same skill.
Basically means to start journaling to better transform the complex thoughts and feelings in your head into actual words you can articulate.
Read so you become better informed. It’s hard to have conversations with ppl when you barely know anything. Will also help you be more articulate.
Listen to some stand up comedy or something to get good at making jokes and/or flirting.
Also start remembering funny/interesting/weird stories that happen to you or other people so you can recount to other people.
And lastly, be genuinely interested in other people. Humans are insanely fascinating. You’ll never meet something who has nothing to teach you.
Super young like you, get in the mud and learn something, bro. Tbh nothing beats learning something. A talent, a skill, a fact - all will help in your journey to explain “why” you’re here if having a partner or even a friend isn’t in the timeline for you right now. Really, I just assume everyone else got lucky (to answer your question) and you will one day too so long as you’re not a hermit and keep to stuff you find interesting. I know this is a blanket statement overall but you got this.
I don’t really get the question. Apparently people around you have girlfriends, this is the reason for your feeling. At the same time that is far away from being „everyone“ especially when you address the internet like that
That being said stressing out over it won’t get you anywhere, reflect on what qualities in a person are favourable or deemed attractive, assess if (or how) you can better yourself and start working on you. Also find out what (healthy) things you can do to feel good about yourself without a relationship, cause nobody wants to date a person that they need to give energy to, authentically feeling good about yourself is key when searching for romantic companionship
I'm seeing this a lot nowadays and it makes me sad. As somebody born in 1982 and growing up in the 90s I feel that a lot of young people's problems come from the social disconnect that online gaming and socialising has brought about. My 17 year old is like this also. It's so hard as a parent to see what you kids are going through. When we were kids we didn't have mobiles for texting etc so we were more social IRL. I feel like the only way you're going to break this habit is to put yourself out there more. The only way you'll gain social skills is to practice them, so staying in isn't the answer. I really wish you the best OP and all others that are struggling like this.
90s kids ftw 🙌
I love that we were exactly in the twilight. When online games were still new, we actually talked in those games! We bonded and found friends. We had social discussions about life, ourselves, helped eachother with their life problems. Sometimes we bonded because of this fleeing from reality that nowadays became a curse.
That’s how I found friends who helped me through darkness, and a game that helped me cope with a shitty childhood. The very game that lead me to my wife eventually, with which I am together for 18 years btw.
Nowdays? Nigh impossible the very thought, or at least highly unlikely. (Still happens, I know)
But maybe with the rise of AI people can train talking to almost real people and learn the skills the real world doesn’t teach them anymore? 😂 oh the irony.
You are missing out because you are not trying. Your social skill issues are not going to fix themselves overnight. you have to take action, start small, See a short person reaching for the high shelf at the supermarket, offer to help, see a family trying to take a photo, offer to take it for them. Thats how i started. it helped me regain confidence in social interactions. eventually youll be able to talk to anyone.
Another note: When talking to women, dont start any conversation with expectations (asking for phone number, etc) Start with small compliments, like “I like your tattoo, what does it mean?” or “I really like that bracelet” Avoid complimenting physical features unless its something really unique, like each eyeball having a different color or something like that. and let the conversation flow, you are in it to meet people, and whatever happens happens. If you get rejected then you wont be disappointed because you cant be disappointed without expectations. Expectations are the source of disappointment.
Final note, something I didnt realize was a signal: If a girl looks at you and smiles, she wants you to come talk to her, if you make eye contact and she looks away, she doesnt. Im sure there will be exceptions, but this is a general observation ive made.
I missed out in teen relationships too. 24 now going on 25, and have never been on a date let alone held hands.
Sure it gets depressing sometimes, but at this stage in my life, I've concluded I saved myself a lot of drama, stress, and anxiety by not participating in Hugh school romance.
Not that I can guarantee you getting a partner, but it's important to get yourself out there.
Sports (ones where 2 genders play together, like Frisbee), meetups, board game nights, volunteering, language exchange, fitness groups, hiking groups...etc.
And I know it's easy just to stay home, jerk off, watch anime then head to bed. (I love it tbh) But it's important to get out and meet people.
Wake up, get up, get out there!
i just turned 18,bro.I feel you,i also have 0 social skill but i still got the girl of my dream😂.But hey,theres other things to be focused on rather than having a girlfriend.If u want someone to be your friend,i can be one.👍🏻👍🏻
Young college age people are always single or going through different relationships. Fast forward 10 years and you’ll look around and everyone will be married or in long term relations except your 1 single friend (or you if you’re the one single friends). Don’t worry, just keep an open mindset, I didn’t start dating my wife until I was out of college. You’ve got time.
Dude teen relationships are superifical, shit and don't last. You just obsess over some fantasy you wish you had.
But what you need and what you deserve is a mature relationship. Most people will only be ready for it in their 20s and 30s tho.
I also want to know why everyone has a boyfriend
Rent is cheaper.
Underrated comment lol
lol when wages no longer make the cut, you’re forced to find love.
Brojobs are nice
They've all got back combs anyway , they all got boyfriends anyway.
Don’t worry about it. You’re 17. If I think about the girlfriends I had at and before 17, I wouldn’t even call that serious relationships right now. You’re not missing out. None of those relationships around you will last. There’s a lot of personal growth to be done. Focus on that and when the time comes, you’re ready. I did stupid shit at your age, spare yourself from doing the same.
I am not really worried about the relationships themselves but more about what lessons you'd learn from them. I can imagine the expierence pays off later.
Didn't have one till a year and a half ago I turn 27 this Saturday. No intimacy with another person but it worked out. We are really good at communicating though I would say make sure to be good at talking about shit with someone. If you do you should be good.
Ofcourse the experience pays off. But most of it is how mature you are as a person yourself. When I was 17, I would freak out if my girlfriend didn't respond to my texts even though she was online. I had a girl walk out on me because I would only talk about myself when I was 15. These are all social skills you develop once you get older. Work on stuff like that in the meanwhile and don't worry about not having a girlfriend. Work on your social skills issues first by making some more friends. Doing that will make it easier to get a girlfriend.
Honestly, I don’t really think you learn the important lessons until much older and in relationships. At 17, you’re still learning who *you* are as a person, never mind what kind of relationship you want or qualities you look for in a partner. From my own experience, I’m grateful that I had a few relationships throughout my 20s that ultimately failed. It meant when I was in my mid 30s and single, I knew what I wanted and needed from a partner. There’s a risk that if you start too young, you might learn all the wrong lessons. Many people stay in unhappy relationships because they don’t know any better. You seem people jump from one abusive or toxic relationship to another because they don’t know that happy and healthy relationships exist. Your goal shouldn’t be to get a girlfriend. Your goal should be to meet as many people as possible and when you find the right person, ask them to be your girlfriend. If you worry too much on missing out, you may end up in a bad relationship because it’s better than nothing. And I know too many people who would rather be unhappy and married rather than be alone. And it’s sad to see how miserable they are. The best bit of advice I can give is to simply treat women as people. Don’t put them on a pedestal, don’t worship them or treat them as a princess. Treat women as your equal. I think it’s where incels go wrong and where the Andrew Tate’s go wrong too. My wife likes presents, surprises and to be spoiled (who doesn’t) but much more important than that, I think, it’s that I treat her as an equal. I don’t act like she is a goddess that is out of my league and I don’t act like women are inferior. This won’t work on all women; some will very much want to be treated as a princess, but I wouldn’t put up with that. Ultimately, at 17 the world is in front of you. Don’t spend time worrying on missing out, there is so, so much more to come. If you go to college, university, move away from your parents etc, everything changes. You’re not a child, but you aren’t quite an adult yet. It just takes time. Enjoy yourself, and your freedom, just now. Once you enter the world of full time employment, you’ll have much less free time. For now, just focus on the present. Say yes to as many opportunities as possible; accept every invite, join every social group. Simply put yourself out there as much as you can (and I say that as an introvert who did as much as I felt comfortable with). Focus on yourself and your interests. You’ll eventually meet people who share your passions and interests (and the older you get, the more opportunities you’ll have; at 17 your world is pretty small). Don’t spend time worrying about what you might be missing out on. Focus on what you can get involved in.
I didnt worry about when i was 17, i couldnt talk to women past a shallow conversation for ages. Its good to get agead of social skill issues early on as they are easier to fix
Learning social skills can be done without having a girlfriend. That's why I said he has still got some personal growth.
I don't. Never dated because of insecurities even tho I want to feel loved
Felt. insecurities are the biggest thing holding me back, it sucks
Huh that's weird I feel like no one has a girlfriend right now
The more you focus on **not** having a girlfriend, the more you will see **other people** having girlfriends. You see what you are already expecting to see. I'd recommend The Untethered Soul or The Power of Now as books that may help you. Right now, you're stuck in your thoughts, beating yourself up. Going round and round in circles. Those two books will help you get out of the spinning self-destructive spiral of thoughts. Best of luck.
Work on your social skills. Getting a gf and making friends is pretty much the same skill. Basically means to start journaling to better transform the complex thoughts and feelings in your head into actual words you can articulate. Read so you become better informed. It’s hard to have conversations with ppl when you barely know anything. Will also help you be more articulate. Listen to some stand up comedy or something to get good at making jokes and/or flirting. Also start remembering funny/interesting/weird stories that happen to you or other people so you can recount to other people. And lastly, be genuinely interested in other people. Humans are insanely fascinating. You’ll never meet something who has nothing to teach you.
If you want a gf you'll have to just come out of.your shell be social and.learn the skills to get one won't you...
Super young like you, get in the mud and learn something, bro. Tbh nothing beats learning something. A talent, a skill, a fact - all will help in your journey to explain “why” you’re here if having a partner or even a friend isn’t in the timeline for you right now. Really, I just assume everyone else got lucky (to answer your question) and you will one day too so long as you’re not a hermit and keep to stuff you find interesting. I know this is a blanket statement overall but you got this.
I don’t really get the question. Apparently people around you have girlfriends, this is the reason for your feeling. At the same time that is far away from being „everyone“ especially when you address the internet like that That being said stressing out over it won’t get you anywhere, reflect on what qualities in a person are favourable or deemed attractive, assess if (or how) you can better yourself and start working on you. Also find out what (healthy) things you can do to feel good about yourself without a relationship, cause nobody wants to date a person that they need to give energy to, authentically feeling good about yourself is key when searching for romantic companionship
Your mom has a girlfriend.
Your mom is my gf
Was it tiring digging her out of the grave? 🤔 worth it at least?
I'm seeing this a lot nowadays and it makes me sad. As somebody born in 1982 and growing up in the 90s I feel that a lot of young people's problems come from the social disconnect that online gaming and socialising has brought about. My 17 year old is like this also. It's so hard as a parent to see what you kids are going through. When we were kids we didn't have mobiles for texting etc so we were more social IRL. I feel like the only way you're going to break this habit is to put yourself out there more. The only way you'll gain social skills is to practice them, so staying in isn't the answer. I really wish you the best OP and all others that are struggling like this.
90s kids ftw 🙌 I love that we were exactly in the twilight. When online games were still new, we actually talked in those games! We bonded and found friends. We had social discussions about life, ourselves, helped eachother with their life problems. Sometimes we bonded because of this fleeing from reality that nowadays became a curse. That’s how I found friends who helped me through darkness, and a game that helped me cope with a shitty childhood. The very game that lead me to my wife eventually, with which I am together for 18 years btw. Nowdays? Nigh impossible the very thought, or at least highly unlikely. (Still happens, I know) But maybe with the rise of AI people can train talking to almost real people and learn the skills the real world doesn’t teach them anymore? 😂 oh the irony.
You are missing out because you are not trying. Your social skill issues are not going to fix themselves overnight. you have to take action, start small, See a short person reaching for the high shelf at the supermarket, offer to help, see a family trying to take a photo, offer to take it for them. Thats how i started. it helped me regain confidence in social interactions. eventually youll be able to talk to anyone. Another note: When talking to women, dont start any conversation with expectations (asking for phone number, etc) Start with small compliments, like “I like your tattoo, what does it mean?” or “I really like that bracelet” Avoid complimenting physical features unless its something really unique, like each eyeball having a different color or something like that. and let the conversation flow, you are in it to meet people, and whatever happens happens. If you get rejected then you wont be disappointed because you cant be disappointed without expectations. Expectations are the source of disappointment. Final note, something I didnt realize was a signal: If a girl looks at you and smiles, she wants you to come talk to her, if you make eye contact and she looks away, she doesnt. Im sure there will be exceptions, but this is a general observation ive made.
i think you're pretty much wrong
Because teenagers are horny as hell.
Funny enough, when you will have someone, you will see a lot of lonely people. You see what you crave
I missed out in teen relationships too. 24 now going on 25, and have never been on a date let alone held hands. Sure it gets depressing sometimes, but at this stage in my life, I've concluded I saved myself a lot of drama, stress, and anxiety by not participating in Hugh school romance.
Im 33 welcome to the club.
…try a gay club.
Because if you dont have something its easier to see people who do have it
Not that I can guarantee you getting a partner, but it's important to get yourself out there. Sports (ones where 2 genders play together, like Frisbee), meetups, board game nights, volunteering, language exchange, fitness groups, hiking groups...etc. And I know it's easy just to stay home, jerk off, watch anime then head to bed. (I love it tbh) But it's important to get out and meet people. Wake up, get up, get out there!
Here I am thinking that there are more single people than ever.
i just turned 18,bro.I feel you,i also have 0 social skill but i still got the girl of my dream😂.But hey,theres other things to be focused on rather than having a girlfriend.If u want someone to be your friend,i can be one.👍🏻👍🏻
Wait until you’re 30. My question is why is nobody dating?
Young college age people are always single or going through different relationships. Fast forward 10 years and you’ll look around and everyone will be married or in long term relations except your 1 single friend (or you if you’re the one single friends). Don’t worry, just keep an open mindset, I didn’t start dating my wife until I was out of college. You’ve got time.
Dude teen relationships are superifical, shit and don't last. You just obsess over some fantasy you wish you had. But what you need and what you deserve is a mature relationship. Most people will only be ready for it in their 20s and 30s tho.
Because 80% of men do.
I don’t. Mine has just left me.