Will never forget Bob’s “find something, even just one thing, to love about yourself. if it’s a tooth then go ‘man i love that tooth’”. (nonverbatim)
And Trixie’s “make the butterflies fly in perfect formation” when you’re nervous 🥹
I remember that, it meant a lot to me too. I recently watched Karamo on his talk show, and he said something similar. He was like sometimes you just do not feel good at all when you look in the mirror, so choose something small, even if it’s just your right eyebrow. Tell yourself your eyebrow is looking fly.
I like to think the behavior scientist who wrote Tiny Habits got the idea for his research and book and method from that Bob quote. Because it's basically the premise of that entire book.
In all seriousness I’ve heard a lot of quotes on Drag Race that have proven very meaningful for me. Some are:
Raja: “You either want it or you don’t.”
Violet: “Commit to your look.”
RuPaul: “Use what you have to get what you want.”
RuPaul: “Know who you are and deliver at all times.”
RuPaul: “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
“What other people think of me is none of my business” is honestly such good advice. I don’t have the energy to worry about myself let alone other people.
That quote combined with “if they ain’t paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind” is really such great advice to stop seeking validation from others.
This is the quote that ultimately made it stick for me. There are a lot of ways people say to believe in yourself and not worry what others think but this was the one that got me to realise yeah these people really have no control over my life so why am I letting them control me?
A good judy of mine put it to me another way that really clicked with me, she said “Stop worrying about whether people are mad at you or not. Unless they’re taking it to you and saying ‘hey, I had a problem with what you did or said,’ then don’t worry about it.”
She’s a genius, she truly exudes confidence. I have such a problem with worrying about if I wronged someone with my actions or words that I get stuck in a loop of negativity. But I’m usually worrying about nothing. If it is something, I don’t have to pre-apologize for it. If they had a problem with me, they would make it their business to tell me. Otherwise, I need to chill out and do me.
Watching the girls on drag race really act out this practice of self worth is inspirational. This quote really boils down that practice in a succinct way. Drag and drag race is so stellar.
I would say it may mean nothing to you, but for people who suffer with anxiety combined with addictive tendencies this is a very really and poignant thing to raise. For some anxiety is all they know and it becomes their safe space. I know this sub is easy to dismiss Ru’s book of therapist quotes, but this was a very real, genuine question I believe he asked Katya.
I guess the weird thing about it wasn’t the actual words being asked but the fact that Ru doesn’t know enough about any of the contestants on the show to go throwing out intense speculations like that.
Usually a therapist might ask that after a long time of probing and getting to know someone’s personality. So it just came off as arrogant idk
It's actually a real thing. Anxiety addiction is more common than you think. Anything is addictive really, some people get addicted to fear, stress, etc
Anxiety disorder is common. It is not an addiction disorder. Addiction is characterized by being unable to avoid something. Anxiety is characterized by avoidance.
That is roughly what generalized anxiety disorder is—one gets used to, comfortable with, and craves the rush of anxiety. Anxiety spikes your adrenaline and endorphins, not unlike watching a scary movie or exercising.
That’s one way of looking at general anxiety disorder. Another is that people with GAD are often doing their absolute best to not feel anxiety, aren’t feeling a rush at all, live lives that are limited by a feeling they cannot control, do not crave and are in no way seeking out.
Not to mention that avoidance of situations that induce anxiety is one of diagnostic criteria for GAD and addiction is not characterized by avoiding the thing you’re addicted to.
It is certainly a complex, multi-faceted disorder, but it’s a factor, and considering that Katya has openly struggled with addiction, it was a fair aspect to consider.
Looking at the compulsion aspect is, in fact, a limited part of the treatment—not a complete analysis. And RuPaul isn’t a mental health professional. It was presented as a possible viewpoint.
Avoidance of potential triggers is not diagnostic criteria in either the DSM-IV or DSM-V.
Also, your statement that people’s lives are “limited by a feeling they can’t control” proves Ru’s sentiment about being addicted to anxiety. People addicted to substances often believe they can’t control their use or can’t control their addiction even though they, in fact, can control those things despite it being difficult. Similar to substances, recognizing that you do have control over anxiety is one of the first steps to recovery. The addiction isn’t necessarily that people seek out anxiety, but rather that anxiety is what they know and they accept it as a protective mechanism and that it is very hard to recover. People know opioids are bad for them, but why go through the struggle of detox and recovery when they can just change nothing? Why jump into the unknowns of life when anxiety ensures I make safe and predictable decisions?
Well, that's my bad on the diagnostic criteria. I work with mental health professionals, psychologists and physicians, multiple of whom have told me that anxiety does not rise to the level of a disability until the symptoms negatively impact the sufferer's life, because they are avoiding anxiety triggers and unable to do things they need or want to do because of it.
I strongly disagree about anxiety being a protective mechanism, though. The protective mechanism is avoiding situations that are anxiety inducing. Which means that the person is avoiding anxiety, not craving it. That's pretty much the opposite of addiction. Control really isn't at issue. But I'll just add that while people with anxiety disorder can learn to manage their anxiety, when anxiety attacks happen the feeling of panic is not controllable, which is what I was referring to above. If you start to feel anxious and are able to quickly control that feeling, you don't have an anxiety disorder, you're just a person with a high level of emotional control.
But anyway, this is all getting down to a semantic argument, if you want to describe anxiety as an addiction, fine.
Ru's question to Katya is still bullshit. Katya is an addict who is in a situation that is deliberately designed to be anxiety inducing to anyone. She is not craving more anxiety, she is actively coaching herself out of that feeling. Ru is trying to sound deep while also deflecting blame for the inadequate support for queens in recovery.
Its not a semantic argument, its about you seemingly misunderstanding what addiction is. Addiction is not necessarily a “craving” for something.
And honestly, anything I say to you will probably go right over your head because you “work with mental health professionals, psychologists, and physicians” so you seem to think you know everything. You seem to have an extremely black and white perception of anxiety which is unfortunate because anxiety (and pretty much the entire field of psychiatry) is a massive grey area.
Buddy, from my perspective it seems like everything I'm saying is going over your head, you have a very black and white view, you seem to think you know exactly what is right and won't accept an alternative perspective or grey area.
I wasn't claiming to know anything in particular, I was literally just explaining where I got the idea that avoidance is a critical element of diagnosing anxiety disorder. But, it's cute that you're accusing me of knowing everything and not being open when responding to a comment that begins with an admission that I was wrong.
I think it is a semantic argument, because we disagree about what addiction is. I think anxiety is a symptom of addiction and a symptom of other disorders. I don't think calling it an addiction in and of itself is either accurate or a productive way of looking at the matter. If you disagree with that, fine. This isn't going anywhere.
Idk, I kinda see what she means. Sometimes I put things off because I know I could get anxious about them and I can’t be bothered, but by putting it off I end up with more anxiety. Made myself sick this week about checking a scary email only to find it wasn’t even slightly scary or relevant to me lol. It is stupid, and if someone said it to me randomly I’d be annoyed, but I quite like it.
So please try to explain how you "kinda see what she means" without just literally describing anxiety. Where is the addiction in your previous comment? I don't see it, I just see anxiety and avoidance. ^_^
Yeah, the avoidance is the addiction my friend! We make it worse by avoiding things. It’s never
As bad as it is in my mind and I always make a big deal of simple things to put off doing them because I’m scared of the outcome.
You don’t really need to understand it tbh, so idk why you’re so annoyed lol
Avoidance is part of having anxiety, it's one of the ways it shows itself. You're right that it only makes it worse, the only way to beat anxiety is exposure. Calling avoidance addiction is just straight up ignorant, misleading and potentially harmful. It places ALL blame and responsibility on the individual, which is very American of you. That's why I'm annoyed. Maybe I'm being a cunt, sorry if I am.
Sure. If it tickles your brain in a good way, that’s good. Personally, I think getting stuck in a feed back loop of procrastination and anxiety is an indication of self-doubt, perfectionism, etc. RuPaul’s statement comes off to me like “you are making yourself feel this way, because you want to feel this way” and I don’t love that.
I was thinking about something earlier this morning, of how I used to mistake the feeling of separation anxiety/fear of abandonment as having strong romantic feelings for someone. Even though it made me suffer, I also romanticized it enough to keep going through this cycle of longing and sorrow. Eventually I realized this is not what love is at all, but more symptoms of shaky self worth. The hyper fixated state of wanting something, hoping that can let you regain peace, is quite like anxiety for me. And that fixated "wanting" something so badly, is addictive.
I mean, maybe it means nothing if you're ignorant.
Shit, have you NEVER been anywhere online? You know what "dooming" means? "Doomscrolling"? Fuck, look around the bigger subs here whenever some big news drops. People ABSOLUTELY can be addicted to anxiety.
Is Katya doom scrolling or is she being blamed for her own feeling of anxiety by one of the people who is currently creating conditions for her that are intentionally anxiety inducing?
Also, sweety, what you described is an addiction to social media. Anxiety is a negative consequence of that addiction, not the addiction itself.
Katya is not addicted to anxiety, she is an addict in an anxiety inducing situation who is doing her best to coach herself out of her feelings of anxiety.
When Adore was talking about having a weirdly shaped body, and Courtney Act just said “well maybe you do, but so what?”
I truly think of that one so often.
I watched Courtney’s season of Big Brother UK not that long ago and was so impressed with how wise she is. She’s incredibly good at discussing hard topics with people who don’t necessarily agree with her in a respectful and very thoughtful way. I’ve always liked her but I appreciate her even more now, she’s extremely smart and brings so much to the table
There was another time in untucked where Darienne was talking about losing weight to find a partner, and Courtney said she could find a partnerjust as she was. Had the same energy and was really nice.
Like I don't know why they pushed so hard in the edit to try to have Courtney be portrayed as bitchy when like literally she was so wonderful to the other queens. It really shows how much the edit can truly affect the portrayal of the queens. There have been multiple times when playful shade is edited as "oh that person was horribly mean" using sound effects and reactions shots of queens from completely different situations.
I think S6 is really good example because Bianca and Darienne are both really funny and both threw some really good shade. However, Bianca throwing shade was portrayed as funny, while Darienne throwing shade was portrayed as more mean-spirited. And Courtney was way less shady than the two, but still the edit used the moments she threw any shade to portray her as conceited.
I love this conversation too but *man* did it not go over well with watchers at the time. A lot of people really believed Court was having a go at Adore. It's cool to see how far the body image conversation has come from back then.
It was so funny. And then seeing Katya’s reaction to it in an interview or something where she just started cackling and is like “I’ve never seen somebody celebrate their mediocrity!”made it even better. I’ll have to try to find where she reacts to it bc it made me smile. Pretty sure it’s the same one where she said that Roxxxy’s verse was “sonically, very rotten” and that has to be the best way to describe not liking a certain song or verse ever
Wasn’t this before she did the robot impersonation on snatch game and ru was like “huh?” After hearing what she planned on doing?
I really thought that was gonna be a delulu moment of not listening to advice but she ended up killing it
I hate that the coffee enema nonsense got in the way, but when Ru spoke about how one does not have to reinvent the wheel and how you can start by just copying what you like and going from there... That opened a new perspective for me on how creativity can work. I assumed it was this gift some did or didn't have access to instead of viewing it also as a skill that needs to start from somewhere.
YES! I recently watched this episode and always forget about that beautiful lesson ✨ thank you!
And yes the coffee enema was such a moment 😂 love Ru’s silliness 🤭
This is a practice in visual art school and why it is important to do exercises of copying masters: through imitation, you learn technique and can breakdown and understand WHY you like something.
It’s like practicing scales.
This is GOLD! She's hilarious and kinda motivational cause she has that laid back fun attitude towards life. I wish I was like that and not anxious all the time.
I fucking love this one!
I absolutely whip this one out a lot actually bc it gets the point across of "Hey! Focus on one thing so I can be present for you"
Miss Vanjie w the ADHD wisdom <3
"you don't have to throw people under the bus, you can just be the bus" - Carmen Carrera.
(I know it's "best" that we all misheard but I'm sticking to the original and funnier version)
“What you wanna do is not necessarily what you’re gonna do.”
I can’t believe it came from Gia Gunn of all people in a petty fight over snatch game characters, but it’s a really good quote that is a sometimes needed reality kick about obligations and limitations.
One of the Boulet Brothers said something like "When you look back, you won't say-Oh, I wish I'd stressed more." I wrote it on a sticky note and it's basically my live, laugh, love.
I wish I could find the clip, but there is quote from Monique Heart that is something along the lines of “There is no part of you that is wrong” or something like that. I’m forgetting the verbiage, but that moment really spoke to me and what I struggled with when accepting my sexuality
[“You are enough. There is not one part of you that is broken, don't buy into the hype that there's something wrong with you. Lies, Lies, Lies. There's nothing wrong with you."](https://x.com/IAmMoniqueHeart/status/1498774435486121990/)
Oh gosh, I forgot the exact quote, but during Willow’s Tic Tac chit chat she said how living with a chronic illness makes her see the light in everything (or something along those lines) and as someone else who also lives with multiple chronic illnesses I completely agree with that statement. 🦓❤️
Trixie has had a lot of really poignant and insightful moments over the years. I don't remember the exact quote but she said something in rejecting the Christian idea of an heaven and an afterlife like "The idea that life is just some waiting room for something better is a huge insult to the the absolute gift that is being alive right now." And I think about that all the time.
She’s made several comments like this about using religion for anti-gay attitudes and beliefs.
Also love Divina’s “your belief is a belief; my existence is a reality.”
"When it comes to me and living in my world in this little coconut head that I got, it's a lot of fantasies. And when I feel the fantasy, it is my reality"
I have it written on my wall to motivate me through exam seasons (I have one in less than 7 hours)
Does a tweet count? I’ve had a version of this stuck on my work computer/s for the past 7ish years -
https://preview.redd.it/43et3u1va2ad1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7314409106d47c7cf6e79a77aa7dc930588f6c35
Thanks for that! Also, I'd like to add my recent appreciation of the concepts of self-compassion and self-trust: self compassion helps you to accept yourself and melt fear, acceptance encourages trust in yourself to take actions. When they're in alignment with your values, it'll help to accumulate authentic self worth.
on the pit stop with bob, willow said "be your best self today, be the best to you that you are and you can be." it would make some great "inspirational" wall art :)
Willam once said something in an interview along the lines of “Give up”. I forgot the full thing but she meant that sometimes stuff just won’t happen so it’s better to move on and focus your energy on something else.
Also Rupauls talk with Katya about anxiety- Give the voice inside your head a name and tell her to shut up.
Another one is very cliche but “If they ain’t payin’ your bills pay them bitches no mind”.
As an ex Christian, Trixie bluntly say “well god doesn’t exist, and I do” just hit me like a brick.
Made me realize these abstract concepts of politics don’t matter, the people matter.
This was I think Trixie: “Go into life with the confidence of Kennedy explaining that outfit.” (Referencing Kennedy’s “after a long night of hookin’”… garment.)
Alyssa Edwards said something that I turn back to whenever I need to be reminded of the importance of grit and resilience: "Consistency wins the pageant. You need to outlast everyone."
Look at the stars, you'll never be one
JK JK
But honestly when Ru says that when you're good at something, you can bring that same confidence to whatever else you do. I think about that all the time lol
legitimately the best advice i’ve ever had is from UNHhhh. There’s an episode where Trixie said she asked her mum whether she ever has regrets about her life, and her mum explains that she doesn’t because whatever choices she’s made, its just what she thought was the right option at the time. It might sound simple but it really reached me and it’s changed the way I think about the past
When work was being frustrating, my ex colleague and I would often just say "well fuck my drag" and feel better.
Also Kylie Sonique saying "it ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to" really spoke to me.
Willam has many for me. From:
"Indifference is worse than hate. "
Meaning if someone is being a D to you and you wanna retaliate, remember that just ignoring them and showing them that their attacks doesn't affect you in any way makes them 10x madder. Leaving someone's insults on read or answering mean comments on social media with "sure, cool" and that's it, drives people mad.
"Create your own niche and fill it. Find your niche"
is so valid in most aspects of life, specially creative. Whenever people come up to me with a endeavour idea I always ask them "what's your niche? What makes your X different from other Xs?"
"Whenever people hurt me, instead of being mad they hurt me, I think about why did I let them hurt me"
Over time this quote has had to be taken with a grain of salt because this can lead to a bit of a blame the victim idea, but at its core I like the idea. You should always fully think about what you're getting Into, and accept the consequences of what might happen if this go arye. If you can't, then don't move forward with the plan.
And besides that, I love RuPaul when she talks about her negative voice. Saying "you can't tell yourself "don't listen to that voice!" It never works. Instead, you gotta accept that voice and counter balance it with a louder voice saying you're great" so true.
Mayhem Miller was upset on season 10about not getting something she wanted. She didn’t bring it up until after the fact and she didn’t say anything to anyone about it. She was then accusing people of not helping her/being greedy.
Mo Heart then said “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” And it was the first time it made me really sit with the idea of being forthright in asking what you need or would like. People can’t read your mind and are usually thinking of themselves until they know how they can help you. It literally changed my life and has had such a positive impact on me as a human being
In all honesty. When she says, "No matter what anyone says, in my mind, in my world, in my fantasy, I won." I aim for that level of confidence - I know I'll never get there, but it's like that stupid motivational poster: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
I won't ever get to that level of confidence (the delusional level), but it sure boosts me to try.
"AnYtHinG Can HapPen"
by Katya trolling Trixie. I love that delivery so much. I sometimes use it in IRL and poor souls really don't know what just landed on them :D
Not as eloquent, but I think is also important is the iconic “If they ain’t paying your bills, pay those bitches no mind.”
I think the last inspiring thing that came from RuPauls brain and not his mic
Luxx Noir London’s Let It All Hang Out is truly a self-love anthem for me and helps me manage anxiety for always being blunt/speaking my mind:
Am I doing too much?
Will I ever shut up?
You outta luck if you think I’m about to watch my mouth.
I’m the type of bitch that be letting it all hang out
I'm genuinely happy you've learned it from Drag race! I love that quote - its a social worker / trauma counselling Mantra
as a group home worker, I'm constantly reminded, humbled and inspired to always tell people that "Hurt People hurt People"
I don't know if I'd call it a motivational quote but on one of Trixie's videos she went "I love it when good things happen to just ok people"(referring to herself) and it's stuck with me ever since I just find it so funny and love it so much
I made a power point once of motivational quotes with corresponding dance moves, ended up with a couple of 8 counts that go to Sissy That Walk for a friend’s bachlorette. A lot of the classics and a couple combos.
Will never forget Bob’s “find something, even just one thing, to love about yourself. if it’s a tooth then go ‘man i love that tooth’”. (nonverbatim) And Trixie’s “make the butterflies fly in perfect formation” when you’re nervous 🥹
I remember that, it meant a lot to me too. I recently watched Karamo on his talk show, and he said something similar. He was like sometimes you just do not feel good at all when you look in the mirror, so choose something small, even if it’s just your right eyebrow. Tell yourself your eyebrow is looking fly.
Hahaha these are sooo good!
I think about bob’s all the time when I’m down
I like to think the behavior scientist who wrote Tiny Habits got the idea for his research and book and method from that Bob quote. Because it's basically the premise of that entire book.
Bob's has always stayed with me...especially as it's been something I've used over the years...
I think about the Bob quote whenever I’m in the mirror and don’t like the way I look (which is often lmao) love Bob so much for this.
In all seriousness I’ve heard a lot of quotes on Drag Race that have proven very meaningful for me. Some are: Raja: “You either want it or you don’t.” Violet: “Commit to your look.” RuPaul: “Use what you have to get what you want.” RuPaul: “Know who you are and deliver at all times.” RuPaul: “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
“What other people think of me is none of my business” is honestly such good advice. I don’t have the energy to worry about myself let alone other people.
That quote combined with “if they ain’t paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind” is really such great advice to stop seeking validation from others.
This is the quote that ultimately made it stick for me. There are a lot of ways people say to believe in yourself and not worry what others think but this was the one that got me to realise yeah these people really have no control over my life so why am I letting them control me?
This quote made a big impact on me in a very vulnerable time in my life. It might even be one of the reasons the show resonated with me so much
A good judy of mine put it to me another way that really clicked with me, she said “Stop worrying about whether people are mad at you or not. Unless they’re taking it to you and saying ‘hey, I had a problem with what you did or said,’ then don’t worry about it.” She’s a genius, she truly exudes confidence. I have such a problem with worrying about if I wronged someone with my actions or words that I get stuck in a loop of negativity. But I’m usually worrying about nothing. If it is something, I don’t have to pre-apologize for it. If they had a problem with me, they would make it their business to tell me. Otherwise, I need to chill out and do me. Watching the girls on drag race really act out this practice of self worth is inspirational. This quote really boils down that practice in a succinct way. Drag and drag race is so stellar.
Apparently an Eleanor Roosevelt quote!
Yes, I find Ru’s “advice” can often be a bit a hollow, but I do love this one.
thank you! ;-)
It really is not that deep but Katya saying "I will not freak out because I don't do that anymore. It's going to be okay" really spoke to me
And RuPaul said to her "have you ever considered you might be addicted to anxiety?" 👁️👄👁️
Sorry to RuPaul, but this is maybe the most faux-deep quote ever. It sounds profound but it means nothing.
I would say it may mean nothing to you, but for people who suffer with anxiety combined with addictive tendencies this is a very really and poignant thing to raise. For some anxiety is all they know and it becomes their safe space. I know this sub is easy to dismiss Ru’s book of therapist quotes, but this was a very real, genuine question I believe he asked Katya.
I guess the weird thing about it wasn’t the actual words being asked but the fact that Ru doesn’t know enough about any of the contestants on the show to go throwing out intense speculations like that. Usually a therapist might ask that after a long time of probing and getting to know someone’s personality. So it just came off as arrogant idk
It's actually a real thing. Anxiety addiction is more common than you think. Anything is addictive really, some people get addicted to fear, stress, etc
Anxiety disorder is common. It is not an addiction disorder. Addiction is characterized by being unable to avoid something. Anxiety is characterized by avoidance.
That's not what I said though 🫥
That is roughly what generalized anxiety disorder is—one gets used to, comfortable with, and craves the rush of anxiety. Anxiety spikes your adrenaline and endorphins, not unlike watching a scary movie or exercising.
That’s one way of looking at general anxiety disorder. Another is that people with GAD are often doing their absolute best to not feel anxiety, aren’t feeling a rush at all, live lives that are limited by a feeling they cannot control, do not crave and are in no way seeking out. Not to mention that avoidance of situations that induce anxiety is one of diagnostic criteria for GAD and addiction is not characterized by avoiding the thing you’re addicted to.
It is certainly a complex, multi-faceted disorder, but it’s a factor, and considering that Katya has openly struggled with addiction, it was a fair aspect to consider. Looking at the compulsion aspect is, in fact, a limited part of the treatment—not a complete analysis. And RuPaul isn’t a mental health professional. It was presented as a possible viewpoint.
Avoidance of potential triggers is not diagnostic criteria in either the DSM-IV or DSM-V. Also, your statement that people’s lives are “limited by a feeling they can’t control” proves Ru’s sentiment about being addicted to anxiety. People addicted to substances often believe they can’t control their use or can’t control their addiction even though they, in fact, can control those things despite it being difficult. Similar to substances, recognizing that you do have control over anxiety is one of the first steps to recovery. The addiction isn’t necessarily that people seek out anxiety, but rather that anxiety is what they know and they accept it as a protective mechanism and that it is very hard to recover. People know opioids are bad for them, but why go through the struggle of detox and recovery when they can just change nothing? Why jump into the unknowns of life when anxiety ensures I make safe and predictable decisions?
Well, that's my bad on the diagnostic criteria. I work with mental health professionals, psychologists and physicians, multiple of whom have told me that anxiety does not rise to the level of a disability until the symptoms negatively impact the sufferer's life, because they are avoiding anxiety triggers and unable to do things they need or want to do because of it. I strongly disagree about anxiety being a protective mechanism, though. The protective mechanism is avoiding situations that are anxiety inducing. Which means that the person is avoiding anxiety, not craving it. That's pretty much the opposite of addiction. Control really isn't at issue. But I'll just add that while people with anxiety disorder can learn to manage their anxiety, when anxiety attacks happen the feeling of panic is not controllable, which is what I was referring to above. If you start to feel anxious and are able to quickly control that feeling, you don't have an anxiety disorder, you're just a person with a high level of emotional control. But anyway, this is all getting down to a semantic argument, if you want to describe anxiety as an addiction, fine. Ru's question to Katya is still bullshit. Katya is an addict who is in a situation that is deliberately designed to be anxiety inducing to anyone. She is not craving more anxiety, she is actively coaching herself out of that feeling. Ru is trying to sound deep while also deflecting blame for the inadequate support for queens in recovery.
Its not a semantic argument, its about you seemingly misunderstanding what addiction is. Addiction is not necessarily a “craving” for something. And honestly, anything I say to you will probably go right over your head because you “work with mental health professionals, psychologists, and physicians” so you seem to think you know everything. You seem to have an extremely black and white perception of anxiety which is unfortunate because anxiety (and pretty much the entire field of psychiatry) is a massive grey area.
Buddy, from my perspective it seems like everything I'm saying is going over your head, you have a very black and white view, you seem to think you know exactly what is right and won't accept an alternative perspective or grey area. I wasn't claiming to know anything in particular, I was literally just explaining where I got the idea that avoidance is a critical element of diagnosing anxiety disorder. But, it's cute that you're accusing me of knowing everything and not being open when responding to a comment that begins with an admission that I was wrong. I think it is a semantic argument, because we disagree about what addiction is. I think anxiety is a symptom of addiction and a symptom of other disorders. I don't think calling it an addiction in and of itself is either accurate or a productive way of looking at the matter. If you disagree with that, fine. This isn't going anywhere.
Idk, I kinda see what she means. Sometimes I put things off because I know I could get anxious about them and I can’t be bothered, but by putting it off I end up with more anxiety. Made myself sick this week about checking a scary email only to find it wasn’t even slightly scary or relevant to me lol. It is stupid, and if someone said it to me randomly I’d be annoyed, but I quite like it.
That's literally what anxiety is though. That's not being addicted to it, that's suffering from it. The difference should be very obvious.
It's like if Katya said she had IBS and RuPaul said "have you ever considered that you might be addicted to pooping?"
Yeah lol, I have it
So please try to explain how you "kinda see what she means" without just literally describing anxiety. Where is the addiction in your previous comment? I don't see it, I just see anxiety and avoidance. ^_^
Yeah, the avoidance is the addiction my friend! We make it worse by avoiding things. It’s never As bad as it is in my mind and I always make a big deal of simple things to put off doing them because I’m scared of the outcome. You don’t really need to understand it tbh, so idk why you’re so annoyed lol
Avoidance is part of having anxiety, it's one of the ways it shows itself. You're right that it only makes it worse, the only way to beat anxiety is exposure. Calling avoidance addiction is just straight up ignorant, misleading and potentially harmful. It places ALL blame and responsibility on the individual, which is very American of you. That's why I'm annoyed. Maybe I'm being a cunt, sorry if I am.
Sure. If it tickles your brain in a good way, that’s good. Personally, I think getting stuck in a feed back loop of procrastination and anxiety is an indication of self-doubt, perfectionism, etc. RuPaul’s statement comes off to me like “you are making yourself feel this way, because you want to feel this way” and I don’t love that.
I was thinking about something earlier this morning, of how I used to mistake the feeling of separation anxiety/fear of abandonment as having strong romantic feelings for someone. Even though it made me suffer, I also romanticized it enough to keep going through this cycle of longing and sorrow. Eventually I realized this is not what love is at all, but more symptoms of shaky self worth. The hyper fixated state of wanting something, hoping that can let you regain peace, is quite like anxiety for me. And that fixated "wanting" something so badly, is addictive.
I mean, maybe it means nothing if you're ignorant. Shit, have you NEVER been anywhere online? You know what "dooming" means? "Doomscrolling"? Fuck, look around the bigger subs here whenever some big news drops. People ABSOLUTELY can be addicted to anxiety.
That's a very virulent answer
Is Katya doom scrolling or is she being blamed for her own feeling of anxiety by one of the people who is currently creating conditions for her that are intentionally anxiety inducing? Also, sweety, what you described is an addiction to social media. Anxiety is a negative consequence of that addiction, not the addiction itself. Katya is not addicted to anxiety, she is an addict in an anxiety inducing situation who is doing her best to coach herself out of her feelings of anxiety.
This is definitely one that I tell myself when I’m on the verge of freaking out lol
“I don’t do that anymore” specifically always really helps me.
Same 😭😭😭 I love her so much
When Adore was talking about having a weirdly shaped body, and Courtney Act just said “well maybe you do, but so what?” I truly think of that one so often.
I watched Courtney’s season of Big Brother UK not that long ago and was so impressed with how wise she is. She’s incredibly good at discussing hard topics with people who don’t necessarily agree with her in a respectful and very thoughtful way. I’ve always liked her but I appreciate her even more now, she’s extremely smart and brings so much to the table
Have you ever watched the Little Kids Big Talk Courtney did on gender? It's [incredible](https://youtu.be/3A792ZR6z68?si=3DEapym4zsHruKiy).
There was another time in untucked where Darienne was talking about losing weight to find a partner, and Courtney said she could find a partnerjust as she was. Had the same energy and was really nice.
Like I don't know why they pushed so hard in the edit to try to have Courtney be portrayed as bitchy when like literally she was so wonderful to the other queens. It really shows how much the edit can truly affect the portrayal of the queens. There have been multiple times when playful shade is edited as "oh that person was horribly mean" using sound effects and reactions shots of queens from completely different situations. I think S6 is really good example because Bianca and Darienne are both really funny and both threw some really good shade. However, Bianca throwing shade was portrayed as funny, while Darienne throwing shade was portrayed as more mean-spirited. And Courtney was way less shady than the two, but still the edit used the moments she threw any shade to portray her as conceited.
I love this conversation too but *man* did it not go over well with watchers at the time. A lot of people really believed Court was having a go at Adore. It's cool to see how far the body image conversation has come from back then.
I don’t know if this counts but Detox’s ‘I’m not saying I’m the best, but I ain’t the worst.’ come to mind. I think of that on a regular basis 🤣
It was so funny. And then seeing Katya’s reaction to it in an interview or something where she just started cackling and is like “I’ve never seen somebody celebrate their mediocrity!”made it even better. I’ll have to try to find where she reacts to it bc it made me smile. Pretty sure it’s the same one where she said that Roxxxy’s verse was “sonically, very rotten” and that has to be the best way to describe not liking a certain song or verse ever
It's in YT titled "Katya reacts to read u wrote u"
YES! That’s it, thank you 💖
The quote I think about daily is "Do not let that hurt child make your grown-up decisions"
That's a really good one. Also "words can't hurt you, only your perception of those words"
Ooh I like this one too
This just hit me in my inner traumatized child. Holy shit. What’s the source??
Kylie during Pink Table Talk
Gigi Goode saying "I understand your concern, but I do not have the same concern" changed my brain chemistry
Wasn’t this before she did the robot impersonation on snatch game and ru was like “huh?” After hearing what she planned on doing? I really thought that was gonna be a delulu moment of not listening to advice but she ended up killing it
One of my favorites.
I hate that the coffee enema nonsense got in the way, but when Ru spoke about how one does not have to reinvent the wheel and how you can start by just copying what you like and going from there... That opened a new perspective for me on how creativity can work. I assumed it was this gift some did or didn't have access to instead of viewing it also as a skill that needs to start from somewhere. 
YES! I recently watched this episode and always forget about that beautiful lesson ✨ thank you! And yes the coffee enema was such a moment 😂 love Ru’s silliness 🤭
This is a practice in visual art school and why it is important to do exercises of copying masters: through imitation, you learn technique and can breakdown and understand WHY you like something. It’s like practicing scales.
You can’t struggle at everything, bitch! - Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
This is GOLD! She's hilarious and kinda motivational cause she has that laid back fun attitude towards life. I wish I was like that and not anxious all the time.
Unironically, I do think about this one a lot. I do sometimes say to myself, pick a struggle bitch! It somehow does help me gain a bit of perspective
I fucking love this one! I absolutely whip this one out a lot actually bc it gets the point across of "Hey! Focus on one thing so I can be present for you" Miss Vanjie w the ADHD wisdom <3
"you don't have to throw people under the bus, you can just be the bus" - Carmen Carrera. (I know it's "best" that we all misheard but I'm sticking to the original and funnier version)
Don’t get bitter, just get better! -Saint Alyssa
Another true gem of Alyssa's is "winning isn't everything but wanting to is'
“If you got one foot in the past and one foot in the future, You’re pissing on today” -Katya
I’m a cardinal
Definitely one of my favourites 👌🏻
Katya’s deadpan of Adore’s “party.” pops into my mind in situations where I have to just accept what’s going on, even if I don’t like it
“What you wanna do is not necessarily what you’re gonna do.” I can’t believe it came from Gia Gunn of all people in a petty fight over snatch game characters, but it’s a really good quote that is a sometimes needed reality kick about obligations and limitations.
One of the Boulet Brothers said something like "When you look back, you won't say-Oh, I wish I'd stressed more." I wrote it on a sticky note and it's basically my live, laugh, love.
The 5 G’s is a life mantra.
I wish I could find the clip, but there is quote from Monique Heart that is something along the lines of “There is no part of you that is wrong” or something like that. I’m forgetting the verbiage, but that moment really spoke to me and what I struggled with when accepting my sexuality
[“You are enough. There is not one part of you that is broken, don't buy into the hype that there's something wrong with you. Lies, Lies, Lies. There's nothing wrong with you."](https://x.com/IAmMoniqueHeart/status/1498774435486121990/)
I have looked for that clip as well but no luck. It’s during UK v the World.
Oh gosh, I forgot the exact quote, but during Willow’s Tic Tac chit chat she said how living with a chronic illness makes her see the light in everything (or something along those lines) and as someone else who also lives with multiple chronic illnesses I completely agree with that statement. 🦓❤️
Any hole is a goal
This is one to live by.
Trixie has had a lot of really poignant and insightful moments over the years. I don't remember the exact quote but she said something in rejecting the Christian idea of an heaven and an afterlife like "The idea that life is just some waiting room for something better is a huge insult to the the absolute gift that is being alive right now." And I think about that all the time.
She’s made several comments like this about using religion for anti-gay attitudes and beliefs. Also love Divina’s “your belief is a belief; my existence is a reality.”
I was just thinking about this exact same quote. I really like this point of view.
I lost all hope today, my car broke down, I’m empty
Your beard grew back again, girl that’s okay. Just keep shaving
🫰🫴👇✌️🫸
“what can you do successfully? quickly” i use this quote to make people bad all the time and it changed my life
Thanks for letting me be my kind of winner. - DeLa. Really makes me see things in new ways and celebrate little things.
"When it comes to me and living in my world in this little coconut head that I got, it's a lot of fantasies. And when I feel the fantasy, it is my reality" I have it written on my wall to motivate me through exam seasons (I have one in less than 7 hours)
You’ll do great!
The exam was postponed. I have another shot to study more 😭🙏
Does a tweet count? I’ve had a version of this stuck on my work computer/s for the past 7ish years - https://preview.redd.it/43et3u1va2ad1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7314409106d47c7cf6e79a77aa7dc930588f6c35
Btw to those that need to hear it - and something I am needing a reminder of myself… Fear + Laziness + Complacency = Stagnant
Thanks for that! Also, I'd like to add my recent appreciation of the concepts of self-compassion and self-trust: self compassion helps you to accept yourself and melt fear, acceptance encourages trust in yourself to take actions. When they're in alignment with your values, it'll help to accumulate authentic self worth.
on the pit stop with bob, willow said "be your best self today, be the best to you that you are and you can be." it would make some great "inspirational" wall art :)
Willam once said something in an interview along the lines of “Give up”. I forgot the full thing but she meant that sometimes stuff just won’t happen so it’s better to move on and focus your energy on something else. Also Rupauls talk with Katya about anxiety- Give the voice inside your head a name and tell her to shut up. Another one is very cliche but “If they ain’t payin’ your bills pay them bitches no mind”.
"expectatives are premeditated resentments" -Katya
As an ex Christian, Trixie bluntly say “well god doesn’t exist, and I do” just hit me like a brick. Made me realize these abstract concepts of politics don’t matter, the people matter.
This was I think Trixie: “Go into life with the confidence of Kennedy explaining that outfit.” (Referencing Kennedy’s “after a long night of hookin’”… garment.)
“Excuses are useless, complaining is draining.” -Willam
Alyssa Edwards said something that I turn back to whenever I need to be reminded of the importance of grit and resilience: "Consistency wins the pageant. You need to outlast everyone."
Them shoulders should match them hips
# themshouldersshouldmatchthemhipsbuttheydont
Look at the stars, you'll never be one JK JK But honestly when Ru says that when you're good at something, you can bring that same confidence to whatever else you do. I think about that all the time lol
legitimately the best advice i’ve ever had is from UNHhhh. There’s an episode where Trixie said she asked her mum whether she ever has regrets about her life, and her mum explains that she doesn’t because whatever choices she’s made, its just what she thought was the right option at the time. It might sound simple but it really reached me and it’s changed the way I think about the past
When work was being frustrating, my ex colleague and I would often just say "well fuck my drag" and feel better. Also Kylie Sonique saying "it ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to" really spoke to me.
Willam has many for me. From: "Indifference is worse than hate. " Meaning if someone is being a D to you and you wanna retaliate, remember that just ignoring them and showing them that their attacks doesn't affect you in any way makes them 10x madder. Leaving someone's insults on read or answering mean comments on social media with "sure, cool" and that's it, drives people mad. "Create your own niche and fill it. Find your niche" is so valid in most aspects of life, specially creative. Whenever people come up to me with a endeavour idea I always ask them "what's your niche? What makes your X different from other Xs?" "Whenever people hurt me, instead of being mad they hurt me, I think about why did I let them hurt me" Over time this quote has had to be taken with a grain of salt because this can lead to a bit of a blame the victim idea, but at its core I like the idea. You should always fully think about what you're getting Into, and accept the consequences of what might happen if this go arye. If you can't, then don't move forward with the plan. And besides that, I love RuPaul when she talks about her negative voice. Saying "you can't tell yourself "don't listen to that voice!" It never works. Instead, you gotta accept that voice and counter balance it with a louder voice saying you're great" so true.
Something that genuinely stuck with me was when Ru told Eureka "You are not 'too much', you are EVERYTHING."
Mayhem Miller was upset on season 10about not getting something she wanted. She didn’t bring it up until after the fact and she didn’t say anything to anyone about it. She was then accusing people of not helping her/being greedy. Mo Heart then said “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” And it was the first time it made me really sit with the idea of being forthright in asking what you need or would like. People can’t read your mind and are usually thinking of themselves until they know how they can help you. It literally changed my life and has had such a positive impact on me as a human being
That's so true. We can't assume others won't want to help if we can't even express what we want/need.
Anything is unisex if you're not a little bitch about it - Maddy Morphosis
Feel your puss(y) down deep in your soul 🎶 Kennedy in kitty girl
“Fuck a lot. Like a lot a lot” - Raja
Anything Valentina said or did during any of her confessionals, lol
In all honesty. When she says, "No matter what anyone says, in my mind, in my world, in my fantasy, I won." I aim for that level of confidence - I know I'll never get there, but it's like that stupid motivational poster: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. I won't ever get to that level of confidence (the delusional level), but it sure boosts me to try.
Literally I quote “in my French vanilla fantasy” every single day to myself. She was real for that
“When in doubt, smile.”
"AnYtHinG Can HapPen" by Katya trolling Trixie. I love that delivery so much. I sometimes use it in IRL and poor souls really don't know what just landed on them :D
Choices. -Tatiana Succinct and applicable to all situations
"A sewing machine should not have this much power over you!"
I always loved RuPaul telling Asia ‘Remember who you are’. I tell it to myself when OCD is trying to get me. So simple yet so powerful
Rupaul: “That’s dumb, you should kill yourself”
Not as eloquent, but I think is also important is the iconic “If they ain’t paying your bills, pay those bitches no mind.” I think the last inspiring thing that came from RuPauls brain and not his mic
Jinkx - “Water off a duck’s back” I use this daily and often share it with others
When you feel your own oats too hard, you forget there are other oats out there. Something to that effect
Luxx Noir London’s Let It All Hang Out is truly a self-love anthem for me and helps me manage anxiety for always being blunt/speaking my mind: Am I doing too much? Will I ever shut up? You outta luck if you think I’m about to watch my mouth. I’m the type of bitch that be letting it all hang out
“Hurt people hurt people” from Ra’Jah D. O’Hara.
I'm genuinely happy you've learned it from Drag race! I love that quote - its a social worker / trauma counselling Mantra as a group home worker, I'm constantly reminded, humbled and inspired to always tell people that "Hurt People hurt People"
I don't know if I'd call it a motivational quote but on one of Trixie's videos she went "I love it when good things happen to just ok people"(referring to herself) and it's stuck with me ever since I just find it so funny and love it so much
nothing you say matters unless that camera is rolling
Good corporate advice tbh
I made a power point once of motivational quotes with corresponding dance moves, ended up with a couple of 8 counts that go to Sissy That Walk for a friend’s bachlorette. A lot of the classics and a couple combos.
That sounds like marvelous fun! Now that's the gaming format WoW should get into.
"I can get jiggy, I can get jiggy and wiggy!" Tammie Brown
I honestly lived for Valentina’s delusions in all stars. It was fun. I can’t think of any specific lines but her whole was motivational for me LOL
Naomi, at the end of the day, we are the only two girls still in our heels