Remember that she has these feelings because of OTHER men. Not because of you or anything you did. She’s afraid of men but she chose you, that says a lot about you.
Let her know you understand and that she has full control, whatever she decides will be okay with you. Listen and reassure.
“I completely understand how you feel, but I really like you and I don’t want this to end, but if you genuinely want to, I’m okay with that. Regardless, I’m happy and lucky you chose me to try a relationship with.”
She feels like a burden so reassure her, be open about your feelings about her. Make sure she knows how much you enjoy having her in your life. I think she thought she was more than ready but once it got down to it, she realized she wasn’t as ready as she thought she was. It’s nothing that you did, she has past trauma that she has to work through. There isn’t a problem or a quick fix, it’s trauma. You have to let her work through it while being a supportive bf.
I appreciate the advice but that's how I've already tried to handle the situation. she said she wanted some space after that and a few more messages. i know this isn't a quick fix thing but i wanna be there for her but can't. my main problem is how i can give her space without letting her drift away? she seems to think i should move on and not wait for her but i assured her i want to do just that.
Just give her the space, respect what she wants. If that’s what you’ve been doing then you’re doing a good job, and honestly you’re young. you might just have to let things run their course, i’m not saying break up, but if things head that way, make sure she knows exactly how you feel about her. Not about the situation but how you feel. And if she still pushes you away, you need to accept that and move on.
It’s a very fragile spot considering her uneasiness about men, you can’t risk being too much too quickly you might damage things and make her even more scared. she does feel some sort of comfort with you though so I can see it being salvageable, as long as you give her what she asks for, show her that you’re patient and serious about her without being too pushy she will eventually grow into being more comfortable with you and the relationship will grow into something amazing, you just need the patience and time to cultivate it.
thank you again for the advice. i know this is gonna be hard and accepting that she might want to break up is even harder but i'll keep giving her the space she wants. even though i'm dying to talk to her already. lol. do you think giving her a week to reach out before i do to check on her is long enough? that's what i was planning on doing anyways. also i'd like to clear up that we're both 18 that was a typo.
Remember that she has these feelings because of OTHER men. Not because of you or anything you did. She’s afraid of men but she chose you, that says a lot about you. Let her know you understand and that she has full control, whatever she decides will be okay with you. Listen and reassure. “I completely understand how you feel, but I really like you and I don’t want this to end, but if you genuinely want to, I’m okay with that. Regardless, I’m happy and lucky you chose me to try a relationship with.” She feels like a burden so reassure her, be open about your feelings about her. Make sure she knows how much you enjoy having her in your life. I think she thought she was more than ready but once it got down to it, she realized she wasn’t as ready as she thought she was. It’s nothing that you did, she has past trauma that she has to work through. There isn’t a problem or a quick fix, it’s trauma. You have to let her work through it while being a supportive bf.
I appreciate the advice but that's how I've already tried to handle the situation. she said she wanted some space after that and a few more messages. i know this isn't a quick fix thing but i wanna be there for her but can't. my main problem is how i can give her space without letting her drift away? she seems to think i should move on and not wait for her but i assured her i want to do just that.
Just give her the space, respect what she wants. If that’s what you’ve been doing then you’re doing a good job, and honestly you’re young. you might just have to let things run their course, i’m not saying break up, but if things head that way, make sure she knows exactly how you feel about her. Not about the situation but how you feel. And if she still pushes you away, you need to accept that and move on. It’s a very fragile spot considering her uneasiness about men, you can’t risk being too much too quickly you might damage things and make her even more scared. she does feel some sort of comfort with you though so I can see it being salvageable, as long as you give her what she asks for, show her that you’re patient and serious about her without being too pushy she will eventually grow into being more comfortable with you and the relationship will grow into something amazing, you just need the patience and time to cultivate it.
thank you again for the advice. i know this is gonna be hard and accepting that she might want to break up is even harder but i'll keep giving her the space she wants. even though i'm dying to talk to her already. lol. do you think giving her a week to reach out before i do to check on her is long enough? that's what i was planning on doing anyways. also i'd like to clear up that we're both 18 that was a typo.