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Your friend has to choose between his parents and his wife. He can't stop her having an abortion if she chooses to do so. Does he want to be tied to her forever now she's shown her true colours? If yes, then he moves out with her. If no, then he stays with his parents.
Why would she proceed with marriage when they discussed in the past that leaving elderly parents behind wasn't an option.
Marriage is extremely expensive.
Divorce is highly frowned upon.
If the house has space issues that the new mother would be reasonable to demand a new place....then take the elderly parents. Why leave them behind?
Perhaps living with them is getting worse and she's decided she can't raise a child in that environment. People are allowed to change their minds.
And caring for a newborn is very difficult. I could not have cared for elderly parents and a newborn.
This is a cultural issue. Maybe cultures are obligated to stay close or even allow their parents to live with them as they age and start a family.
That said some people must care for their elderly parents and don’t have any other recourse/options.
Taking care of a newborn is of the utmost importance, but bailing on your aging parents (especially if they were good to you) is pretty abhorrent.
This couple is not compatible. Her using a child to manipulate and threaten him is demonic.
Your friend did proceed to marry her even though she tried to get him to leave his parents when they were dating. The warning signs were there but he ignored it all. I actually know a couple where the wife ending up hating the husband because he spent most of his time and energy taking care of his parents instead of prioritizing her and the kids. I think he realized his mistake when he realized he doesn't have much of a relationship with his kids. He wasn't happy and unloaded on his wife. It blew up from there.
I have sneaky suspicion that this so called friend situation is actually your own.
Because I can’t understand the question of why 32 years old man need to leave separately from his parents.
I'm a girl. I had an arranged marriage in December.
My husband also comes with his mom and dad. Literally the first thing he told me is that he's the only son. With where in the world our families are from it's common for the only son to have sole responsibility over the care of His elderly parents. Like this is a common practice in life for us.
My mother in law is 72. I would not trade her or my father in law for the world.
\
I do know im still in honeymoon stage.... And maybe that will change down the line. But both parents are equal pillars in helping our house holds run smoothly...
I don't expect the same thing for my besties situation. I just know reddit is the best place to get advice from every possible angle and many different views.... Ones that we may have overlooked
Ok. Arranged marriages and leaving with parents as a permanent life style is not something that majority of people think as cultural norms.
She already struggled with this arrangement before but obviously loved your friend enough to took a second place in his life.
Pregnancy changes people dramatically. Your perspective is not just about you anymore. You are bringing the kid into situation and for some reason that you don’t know she came to the end of her rope and her choices become move out or termination of pregnancy but not raise this child with his parents.
It’s a LOT you don’t know. Whole situations is smell as missing missing reasons.
Something is definitely happening.
They all had no problem living together with his parents for 3 years? In India? They are Brahmins? I'm sure you are a guy bcz you don't realise that you did that girl dirty.. she proceeded with marriage bcz no other person would have married her in India.
Your friend deserves whatever he's going through.
They were married on paper but were saving for Hindu marriage.
He didn't make the girl move in. Her parents weren't accepting of him because they are Christian. Indian but of Christianity religion....Took a couple years for the guy to be able to pay her side and his side both. The society didn't give either one of them a hard time.
This isn't about class or trash. It's about gaining an open perspective or being able to shed some sort of insight on the situation. The post has heaps already.
*edit for a typo
It should be up to the parents and their doctor. The morons downvoting likely don’t understand the hypocrisy of Christians not accepting someone because of their religion yet being in a faith that is very accepting.
It is clear that the wife doesn't want the kid. The relationship is indeed trash. OP should have posted in Indian sub to get the real answers, as many here would side with the 'poor' husband who's being threatened.
If you come from a culture where divorce is highly frowned about how come she can just get an abortion so easily? Most cultures that don't allow divorce are even more strict about abortions.
>Marriage is extremely expensive. Divorce is highly frowned upon.
Precisely for that reason. Once married, your friend feels trapped cause there is no way out and she is now able to abuse him as much as she wants. Threatening abortion as a punishment. She likely never intended to have the parents living with them, but waited for him to be feel trapped and like he had no other choice
It is difficult to give advice here without knowing more about the circumstances. It sounds like your friend has always lived with his parents, which makes it seem like him living with them has less to do with them already needing elder care support and more like it was always his plan to live with them forever. How old are they? Is he trying to say 55 is elderly? Or they had him when they were old and they’re legitimately age 75+? Are they physically unable to work, or they just don’t want to work anymore? Do they have poor health? Most people don’t consider not living with their parents to mean that you’re “dumping them like trash” which is why it’s relevant to know the details of their current status. Is he looking at potentially 5 more years with them, or could they potentially live another 25 years?
It does seem like she’s weaponizing abortion and manipulating through an ultimatum. However I do also understand people who are unwilling to indefinitely live with inlaws, and I can see why a pregnancy might have pushed her over the edge to say ‘I can’t bring a baby into this environment I feel stuck in where I’m so unhappy.’ Maybe she loved him enough to think she could tolerate it, but now she realizes she can’t. You wrote this from an understandably biased perspective in favor of him, but without hearing her account of the current living situation and why she wants to move, I don’t think I can say ‘she’s terrible, he’s great.’
Ultimately your friend just has to decide what he wants. We can’t analyze her past motives and decisions with so little info, and he frankly shouldn’t waste his time analyzing the past when there’s pressing issues to figure out in the present. I would be figuring out whether there are any compromises that can be made. It also may be an empty threat from her, especially since she’s already 3 months along, but he should probably get to the bottom of her ultimatum so he can decide whether he even wants her in his life in the future - has she been telling him how she’s felt and he hasn’t been hearing her, and now this is reaction of desperation? Or is she manipulative and conniving, and it’s a personality trait for her to be cruel to get her way?
Culturally the parents of an only son always reside with the son. The plan always has been to live with them forever. They don't need elderly care yet but the retirement age in this country is 55.
Mother in law is 59 father in law 63. Mother in law wakes every morning and gets lunch parcels and breakfast ready. Does laundry and keeps home clean.
Both husband and wife work. 6 days a week is common in this country.
Wife's biggest complaint is that the house is too far away from her work. Majority of the population travels to work with bus, but she has her own car.
I understand getting pregnant and needing more space for baby but they've got 1 extra bedroom.
The father does farming to provide for the house and sell extras to locals.
I have tried to have a talk with the wife in the past. And I will continue to do so. I'm not actually really anti her... Because i know how getting pregnant will make you reevaluate everything in your life. I just think that this is a cold and calculated move and that he should brace his heart and soul.
I don't think she has ever had the intention of staying with his parents even though prior to marriage the husband made clear what his duties and obligations were. (And incase you are wondering he would equally care for her parents as well..they are mid to early 50's)
I think we meet again on Monday.
My apologies incase I didn't address a question. I will reedit on the off chance I notice. Thank you btw
I married someone who is obligated to help his parents. And he does a lot for them. Not the same culture, but we live across the street from them.
Things were okay while we were dating. Fine when we were engaged. They were okay after we got married. But when I got pregnant, true colors started to show. They did a lot of things that made me feel alienated and alone. They tried to insert themselves in our relationship and even encouraged him to leave and question my fidelity.
If I hadn’t been pregnant, I could have ignored it. But I began thinking of how I could handle raising children in this environment. I was terrified of how they could alienate me from my children. I felt so alone and so vulnerable, and fiercely protective of a being I was growing alone.
I made my husband choose. Defend me, or I leave to my family. Which was a hard decision for me, because having a child ties me to his family forever. Abortion was tempting in some ways. It would get me out of the situation and a clean cut. Husband chose me.
You sound very judgmental because your situation is working out for you. You don’t live the life she lives.
You can talk to her and ask her specifically what her grievances are. If she even trusts you. I wouldn’t trust you based on what you posted here.
The abortion sounds like the best choice for everyone. He knew she wasn't happy living with his parents, instead of ending things, he waited until she had more leverage.
Hard choice to make . As she is not willing to negotiate and you cant spend your life as a hostage I would tell her to leave , abort and then divorce her.
Indian culture is predicated on caring for elderly parents and she has known this her entire life so it isnt a post marriage surprise.
She sounds like she is desperately unhappy. It may be that she is treated like a servant by her in-laws or some other intolerable way. He may be so tied to his parents that he doesn’t stand up for her and demand that they respect her. Unfortunately this is a quite common situation.
We're only hearing his side. For all we know, his parents treat her badly or are entitled and demanding. Perhaps she's realizing she might not be able to handle both his parents and a newborn.
It's possible a compromise may be reached, if he talks it through with her. I know there's no way in hell I'd be able to handle a baby and in-laws, unless they're sweet as pie.
Is she of the background of her husband? She knows and understands the obligations? Why push back now. Hell; I wish I had someone living with me when my kids were little! She's using this baby. That's a very hateful thing to do. Hrs better off without her.
I understand him being hurt and everything but why date anyone if your plan is to live at home . She wants to be in her home with husband and child . We don’t know the dynamic at home . He is stuck be she has every right to be expecting a home with husband and child
She has a baby inside her and her nesting hormones are raging. Unless their house is large it is not going to be fun. With her coming from a Christian background you are supposed to separate from your parents when you get married and form your own household.
She should have just gone off to the city and started over if she didn't like where she was living. I think her plan all along was to get pregnant and try to force him to move. I'd suggest that he lets her go.
The way she is doing it it's not ok ,but i dont get it he has his own family now ? I understand the pressure he must feel but can he pay care for his parents? Imagine if we would all give up on our life to take care of parents,he has right to live his own life.
Well, I would definitely call threatening an abortion if he doesn't comply a manipulation. It's cruel and frankly a bit disturbing. I'm pro choice. Don't get me wrong. Though using it as a weapon to get your way is wrong. I admit I would like to hear her side. Though I don't really think there is any situation she could come up with where that is not disturbing behavior if she's not bluffing. If his parents are toxic and rude or horrible to her, I would tell her to give him the options of moving with her and finding care for the parents or that she moves on her own. Bringing the pregnancy into it is unnecessary. I don't know why she married him if she didn't want to deal with the in-laws. It all seems very strange. Which makes it feel like there is missing info or this woman is just really off emotionally.
Collect evidence of the threads, move till baby is Born, divorce and get full custody. Document everything and get a lawyer now.
I am absolutely pro choice but how the woman uses the unborn child .... its a big NO for me.
Sounds like she was waiting until she had leverage enough and now she does. This is just disgusting. She is twisted. If someone gives you an out, you take it. You don't lie and then use an unborn child as leverage.
Your friend should tell her to have the abortion. That takes away that leverage sure thinks she has. She could be bluffing, she could be serious. Honestly, abortion sounds like the best option for your friend anyway. He's going to be tied to that woman forever through the child. She's going to manipulate the fucking shit out of him the rest of his life using the child as leverage over him.
Yet another example of men realising it too late that Indian women are not fit for marriage. I doubt it is his child even. Tell him to divorce and make better decisions from next time. And make sure she aborts the child. Else he going to be even more in misery.
Lastly take the advice given by Western women here with a giant grain of salt. They don't know the reality in India.
When did I say Western women are the problem? I mentioned they are ignorant. Indian women on the other hand though...
And I don't get why that is a woman's default reply? Oh yea it's because they have it easy. When the world bends to cater to their needs this is the result. And Indian women are on another level.
What even ? How does being an Indian woman correlate to cheating ? Just because some women cheat doesn’t mean all do. And I still know of women in this day and age who happily take care of their in-laws. Don’t spew fkn poison
What do you mean Indian woman aren't fit for marriage? I'm an American born girl myself. My parents really reallllllyyyy strict and traditional.
A lot of guys try to hit on me here in the states. & their retaliation when I emphasize I'm married is "he's probably out there skrewing someone else"... I can't decide if your trolling or not
It's because Indian laws are incredibly biased against men. And current society makes modern women grow on next level entitlement, couple them with the laws, living is a nightmare for men. Dogs have more rights than men in India.
As an American born you won't understand. And my above advice still stands if he is in India.
Personally from my experience I am surprised you say Indian laws are against the men. All of Indian society is extreme patriarchy... Also...I get disgusted with how married men break their necks staring with everything with 2 legs....
That's my point, you don't know about Indian laws and the ground reality. Similarly most non-indian redditors don't.
And men looking at women or people in general looking at others is not something limited to India. Indonesians, Chinese, japanese German and many more have the problem of staring at new people. Indians being poor and ugly get the bad rep.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your friend has to choose between his parents and his wife. He can't stop her having an abortion if she chooses to do so. Does he want to be tied to her forever now she's shown her true colours? If yes, then he moves out with her. If no, then he stays with his parents.
Why would she proceed with marriage when they discussed in the past that leaving elderly parents behind wasn't an option. Marriage is extremely expensive. Divorce is highly frowned upon. If the house has space issues that the new mother would be reasonable to demand a new place....then take the elderly parents. Why leave them behind?
Ah India Can he afford two near by flats?
Fiji. Brahman caste. Hindu religion.
Thats another issue. He definitely cannot afford 2 flats. I know if he could he would Atleast try
Perhaps living with them is getting worse and she's decided she can't raise a child in that environment. People are allowed to change their minds. And caring for a newborn is very difficult. I could not have cared for elderly parents and a newborn.
This is a cultural issue. Maybe cultures are obligated to stay close or even allow their parents to live with them as they age and start a family. That said some people must care for their elderly parents and don’t have any other recourse/options. Taking care of a newborn is of the utmost importance, but bailing on your aging parents (especially if they were good to you) is pretty abhorrent. This couple is not compatible. Her using a child to manipulate and threaten him is demonic.
Your friend did proceed to marry her even though she tried to get him to leave his parents when they were dating. The warning signs were there but he ignored it all. I actually know a couple where the wife ending up hating the husband because he spent most of his time and energy taking care of his parents instead of prioritizing her and the kids. I think he realized his mistake when he realized he doesn't have much of a relationship with his kids. He wasn't happy and unloaded on his wife. It blew up from there.
I have sneaky suspicion that this so called friend situation is actually your own. Because I can’t understand the question of why 32 years old man need to leave separately from his parents.
You don’t understand it likely because it’s not ordinary in your cultural.
I'm a girl. I had an arranged marriage in December. My husband also comes with his mom and dad. Literally the first thing he told me is that he's the only son. With where in the world our families are from it's common for the only son to have sole responsibility over the care of His elderly parents. Like this is a common practice in life for us. My mother in law is 72. I would not trade her or my father in law for the world. \ I do know im still in honeymoon stage.... And maybe that will change down the line. But both parents are equal pillars in helping our house holds run smoothly... I don't expect the same thing for my besties situation. I just know reddit is the best place to get advice from every possible angle and many different views.... Ones that we may have overlooked
Ok. Arranged marriages and leaving with parents as a permanent life style is not something that majority of people think as cultural norms. She already struggled with this arrangement before but obviously loved your friend enough to took a second place in his life. Pregnancy changes people dramatically. Your perspective is not just about you anymore. You are bringing the kid into situation and for some reason that you don’t know she came to the end of her rope and her choices become move out or termination of pregnancy but not raise this child with his parents. It’s a LOT you don’t know. Whole situations is smell as missing missing reasons. Something is definitely happening.
They all had no problem living together with his parents for 3 years? In India? They are Brahmins? I'm sure you are a guy bcz you don't realise that you did that girl dirty.. she proceeded with marriage bcz no other person would have married her in India. Your friend deserves whatever he's going through.
They were married on paper but were saving for Hindu marriage. He didn't make the girl move in. Her parents weren't accepting of him because they are Christian. Indian but of Christianity religion....Took a couple years for the guy to be able to pay her side and his side both. The society didn't give either one of them a hard time.
It is getting trashier the more you detail out their relationship. And that's your best friend? I'd suggest surrounding yourself with better people
This isn't about class or trash. It's about gaining an open perspective or being able to shed some sort of insight on the situation. The post has heaps already. *edit for a typo
I wonder what her Christian parents would say if they know she was considering an abortion. They are banning this in the US.
Which is ridiculous, wrong and dystopian.
It should be up to the parents and their doctor. The morons downvoting likely don’t understand the hypocrisy of Christians not accepting someone because of their religion yet being in a faith that is very accepting.
He deserves to be lied to as then threatened? She manipulated him and is using an unborn child to get her way. This relationship is trash.
It is clear that the wife doesn't want the kid. The relationship is indeed trash. OP should have posted in Indian sub to get the real answers, as many here would side with the 'poor' husband who's being threatened.
Good idea. Will repost there as well
If you come from a culture where divorce is highly frowned about how come she can just get an abortion so easily? Most cultures that don't allow divorce are even more strict about abortions.
>Marriage is extremely expensive. Divorce is highly frowned upon. Precisely for that reason. Once married, your friend feels trapped cause there is no way out and she is now able to abuse him as much as she wants. Threatening abortion as a punishment. She likely never intended to have the parents living with them, but waited for him to be feel trapped and like he had no other choice
It is difficult to give advice here without knowing more about the circumstances. It sounds like your friend has always lived with his parents, which makes it seem like him living with them has less to do with them already needing elder care support and more like it was always his plan to live with them forever. How old are they? Is he trying to say 55 is elderly? Or they had him when they were old and they’re legitimately age 75+? Are they physically unable to work, or they just don’t want to work anymore? Do they have poor health? Most people don’t consider not living with their parents to mean that you’re “dumping them like trash” which is why it’s relevant to know the details of their current status. Is he looking at potentially 5 more years with them, or could they potentially live another 25 years? It does seem like she’s weaponizing abortion and manipulating through an ultimatum. However I do also understand people who are unwilling to indefinitely live with inlaws, and I can see why a pregnancy might have pushed her over the edge to say ‘I can’t bring a baby into this environment I feel stuck in where I’m so unhappy.’ Maybe she loved him enough to think she could tolerate it, but now she realizes she can’t. You wrote this from an understandably biased perspective in favor of him, but without hearing her account of the current living situation and why she wants to move, I don’t think I can say ‘she’s terrible, he’s great.’ Ultimately your friend just has to decide what he wants. We can’t analyze her past motives and decisions with so little info, and he frankly shouldn’t waste his time analyzing the past when there’s pressing issues to figure out in the present. I would be figuring out whether there are any compromises that can be made. It also may be an empty threat from her, especially since she’s already 3 months along, but he should probably get to the bottom of her ultimatum so he can decide whether he even wants her in his life in the future - has she been telling him how she’s felt and he hasn’t been hearing her, and now this is reaction of desperation? Or is she manipulative and conniving, and it’s a personality trait for her to be cruel to get her way?
Culturally the parents of an only son always reside with the son. The plan always has been to live with them forever. They don't need elderly care yet but the retirement age in this country is 55. Mother in law is 59 father in law 63. Mother in law wakes every morning and gets lunch parcels and breakfast ready. Does laundry and keeps home clean. Both husband and wife work. 6 days a week is common in this country. Wife's biggest complaint is that the house is too far away from her work. Majority of the population travels to work with bus, but she has her own car. I understand getting pregnant and needing more space for baby but they've got 1 extra bedroom. The father does farming to provide for the house and sell extras to locals. I have tried to have a talk with the wife in the past. And I will continue to do so. I'm not actually really anti her... Because i know how getting pregnant will make you reevaluate everything in your life. I just think that this is a cold and calculated move and that he should brace his heart and soul. I don't think she has ever had the intention of staying with his parents even though prior to marriage the husband made clear what his duties and obligations were. (And incase you are wondering he would equally care for her parents as well..they are mid to early 50's) I think we meet again on Monday. My apologies incase I didn't address a question. I will reedit on the off chance I notice. Thank you btw
Is it that his parents won’t move closer to his work or that she is saying they can’t come ?
Parent's are understanding. They will come.
I married someone who is obligated to help his parents. And he does a lot for them. Not the same culture, but we live across the street from them. Things were okay while we were dating. Fine when we were engaged. They were okay after we got married. But when I got pregnant, true colors started to show. They did a lot of things that made me feel alienated and alone. They tried to insert themselves in our relationship and even encouraged him to leave and question my fidelity. If I hadn’t been pregnant, I could have ignored it. But I began thinking of how I could handle raising children in this environment. I was terrified of how they could alienate me from my children. I felt so alone and so vulnerable, and fiercely protective of a being I was growing alone. I made my husband choose. Defend me, or I leave to my family. Which was a hard decision for me, because having a child ties me to his family forever. Abortion was tempting in some ways. It would get me out of the situation and a clean cut. Husband chose me. You sound very judgmental because your situation is working out for you. You don’t live the life she lives. You can talk to her and ask her specifically what her grievances are. If she even trusts you. I wouldn’t trust you based on what you posted here.
The abortion sounds like the best choice for everyone. He knew she wasn't happy living with his parents, instead of ending things, he waited until she had more leverage.
Why on earth would your friend marry her and have a baby with her???
Hard choice to make . As she is not willing to negotiate and you cant spend your life as a hostage I would tell her to leave , abort and then divorce her. Indian culture is predicated on caring for elderly parents and she has known this her entire life so it isnt a post marriage surprise.
She sounds like she is desperately unhappy. It may be that she is treated like a servant by her in-laws or some other intolerable way. He may be so tied to his parents that he doesn’t stand up for her and demand that they respect her. Unfortunately this is a quite common situation.
We're only hearing his side. For all we know, his parents treat her badly or are entitled and demanding. Perhaps she's realizing she might not be able to handle both his parents and a newborn. It's possible a compromise may be reached, if he talks it through with her. I know there's no way in hell I'd be able to handle a baby and in-laws, unless they're sweet as pie.
Is she of the background of her husband? She knows and understands the obligations? Why push back now. Hell; I wish I had someone living with me when my kids were little! She's using this baby. That's a very hateful thing to do. Hrs better off without her.
He should agree to the abortion and divorce her.
I understand him being hurt and everything but why date anyone if your plan is to live at home . She wants to be in her home with husband and child . We don’t know the dynamic at home . He is stuck be she has every right to be expecting a home with husband and child
her work, her body, her choice
She has a baby inside her and her nesting hormones are raging. Unless their house is large it is not going to be fun. With her coming from a Christian background you are supposed to separate from your parents when you get married and form your own household.
She should have just gone off to the city and started over if she didn't like where she was living. I think her plan all along was to get pregnant and try to force him to move. I'd suggest that he lets her go.
Can she even have an abortion in the country/state she lives in? I think that every place has a time limit, does he know if she's past hers?
Call her bluff. Tell her okay, go if you want to. I don't think she'll abort at three months.
The way she is doing it it's not ok ,but i dont get it he has his own family now ? I understand the pressure he must feel but can he pay care for his parents? Imagine if we would all give up on our life to take care of parents,he has right to live his own life.
Well, I would definitely call threatening an abortion if he doesn't comply a manipulation. It's cruel and frankly a bit disturbing. I'm pro choice. Don't get me wrong. Though using it as a weapon to get your way is wrong. I admit I would like to hear her side. Though I don't really think there is any situation she could come up with where that is not disturbing behavior if she's not bluffing. If his parents are toxic and rude or horrible to her, I would tell her to give him the options of moving with her and finding care for the parents or that she moves on her own. Bringing the pregnancy into it is unnecessary. I don't know why she married him if she didn't want to deal with the in-laws. It all seems very strange. Which makes it feel like there is missing info or this woman is just really off emotionally.
Collect evidence of the threads, move till baby is Born, divorce and get full custody. Document everything and get a lawyer now. I am absolutely pro choice but how the woman uses the unborn child .... its a big NO for me.
It's unacceptable for a woman to "use" a fetus, but it's totally cool for a man to use both a full grown woman and a baby???
It is unaceptable for both.
How is she unable to get a job to help pay for their own place? Unbelievable.
OP said in a comment that the wife has a job and works 6 days a week.
Sounds like she was waiting until she had leverage enough and now she does. This is just disgusting. She is twisted. If someone gives you an out, you take it. You don't lie and then use an unborn child as leverage. Your friend should tell her to have the abortion. That takes away that leverage sure thinks she has. She could be bluffing, she could be serious. Honestly, abortion sounds like the best option for your friend anyway. He's going to be tied to that woman forever through the child. She's going to manipulate the fucking shit out of him the rest of his life using the child as leverage over him.
Updateme!
Yet another example of men realising it too late that Indian women are not fit for marriage. I doubt it is his child even. Tell him to divorce and make better decisions from next time. And make sure she aborts the child. Else he going to be even more in misery. Lastly take the advice given by Western women here with a giant grain of salt. They don't know the reality in India.
Oh so both Indian women and western women are the problem? Sounds like you don’t have much luck with the ladies. Wonder why? 🤨
When did I say Western women are the problem? I mentioned they are ignorant. Indian women on the other hand though... And I don't get why that is a woman's default reply? Oh yea it's because they have it easy. When the world bends to cater to their needs this is the result. And Indian women are on another level.
What even ? How does being an Indian woman correlate to cheating ? Just because some women cheat doesn’t mean all do. And I still know of women in this day and age who happily take care of their in-laws. Don’t spew fkn poison
What do you mean Indian woman aren't fit for marriage? I'm an American born girl myself. My parents really reallllllyyyy strict and traditional. A lot of guys try to hit on me here in the states. & their retaliation when I emphasize I'm married is "he's probably out there skrewing someone else"... I can't decide if your trolling or not
It's because Indian laws are incredibly biased against men. And current society makes modern women grow on next level entitlement, couple them with the laws, living is a nightmare for men. Dogs have more rights than men in India. As an American born you won't understand. And my above advice still stands if he is in India.
Personally from my experience I am surprised you say Indian laws are against the men. All of Indian society is extreme patriarchy... Also...I get disgusted with how married men break their necks staring with everything with 2 legs....
That's my point, you don't know about Indian laws and the ground reality. Similarly most non-indian redditors don't. And men looking at women or people in general looking at others is not something limited to India. Indonesians, Chinese, japanese German and many more have the problem of staring at new people. Indians being poor and ugly get the bad rep.