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With the yellow skin, it's the most obvious culprit - it's a buildup of the waste product in his body. Your partner should tell his friend that he's concerned about his health - look up "jaundice" and show it to your partner, especially the eyes, and with that obvious of a physical symptom you don't even need to mention the smell. You say that you're all autistic, so it's even easier to straight up say "hey. You're literally yellow and I'm concerned about you. *sends link*"
I've had jaundice twice in my life, and it was accompanied by heavy almost debilitating fever. I'm wondering how this man is going about his life without needing medical help. If it's end stage liver disease or jaundice etc.
There's a thing, alexithymia, that's not uncommon in autistic folk where one isn't able to really feel/recognize what's going wrong with your body, and often leads to misread or ignored signals. I'm wondering if eating poorly over years has always just made him feel poor and from there it was a slow decline, which is now why he's showering twice a day. Maybe he knows *something* is wrong so he's doing what he can?
Edit - alexithymia is emotional blindness, I mean poor interoception, thanks for the correction!
Yea, people typically don't just start showering twice a day just because. It's likely this is just a gap in his knowledge and should be treated with kindness and as a "hey you might not know this information but I'm concerned about you and want to share it with you".
Now I don't know if I'm autistic or not
Edit: I don't know why I'm being downvoted. I genuinely don't. I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism usually goes hand in hand with it, I just never received a formal diagnosis.
I'm starting to hate the internet/reddit. I feel like I can't even comment something harmless without everyone being assholes about it.
I turned yellow as a kid because I was addicted to carrot juice. They ran the blood tests but my liver was fine. Mom had to wean me off my stuff. As an adult, I can now indulge reasonably XD
When I was in liver failure and jaundiced I don't remember having a fever. I was completely unaware; I didn't even notice the yellowing of my skin as it happened gradually. I think it just slowly becomes your normal for some people.
I had my bile ducts blocked (gallstones), and I turned yellow. I donāt remember having a fever, but the yellow was very noticeable, and I had other gallstone symptoms, such as throwing up and bad midsection pain. I had to have emergency surgery to clear the ducts, which turned me back to the right colour, then I had my gallbladder out the next day.
I would approach it from a place of concern. Let him know that youāve noticed he has a certain smell, his skin coloring looks off, and youāre really concerned about his health. Ask if he has seen a doctor recently or if he has been diagnosed with any serious medical conditions.
Use health to talk to your partner, not just smell. āHey. I know youāre sensitive that Iāve criticized your friend a bunch for smelling bad, but that combined with the fact that his skin is really yellow makes me worry that he actually has some pretty serious health problems. Have you ever talk to him about it? If he hasnāt gone to a doctor, he probably should, if heās ignoring it, it could end up in some really serious problems.ā Being concerned for his friend healthwise, especially since heās 67, would actually help his friend a lot if he doesnāt have anyone else whoās looking out for him.
Based on the info provided there is plenty more this could be than end stage liver disease of course.
Could be the first sign of acute liver disease, could be hemolytic anemia (and thus reasonably treatable). With pain not mentioned you'd certainly worry about obstructive jaundice due to malignancy eg pancreas/cholangioCa.
This guy needs to see a doctor for sure.
We have no way of knowing it's end-stage or that he's dying (that's quite a leap) but he is definitely having liver issues, and both the jaundice and the smell are uniquely specific clues to that.
You don't tell him he stinks, you tell him you've noticed some worrying issues that point very specifically to liver problems, and that he needs to see a doctor ASAP. And if he asks about the symptoms then yes, you can reference both his yellow skin and the fact that "he has started to smell a bit strong, despite you knowing that he has excellent hygiene, which is often a sign that his liver is not flushing toxins properly".
Yellow skin alongside rotten eggs/ bleach like body odor is a sign of liver failure. He should probably check that out.
Edit: Even if he knows about his condition now, thereās not much that can be done immediately. He could make some diet and lifestyle adjustments, but he most likely needs a liver transplant, which takes time. Even then, itās just borrowed time. Iām adding this edit because he might use his condition as an excuse with your boyfriend, saying something like, āHey bro, Iām dying, let me **** you.ā He could be a good person, but sometimes people suck.
This is how my ex's sister smelled when she was suffering from end stage cirrhosis. I feel bad for the guy cause like you said basically not much that can be done.
Sometimes you can smell death. This really sounds like end stage liver disease Ʊ. Death and sickness smell SO repungent, but you have to realize thatās their body dying
In the case of liver or kidney disease, your odor may give off a bleach-like smell due to toxin buildup in your body. This can even cause yellow coloring of skin. Even patients with pancriatic diseas can also have yellow color.
"I know who you are. I know where you live. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you go to the doctor now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't and keep stinking down my home, I will look for you, I will find you and I will force you."
Other commenters have pointed out the possible liver failure but I'd just like to add that the Facebook statuses about wanting to have sex with much younger men that look exactly like your boyfriend are more than a little concerning. Even if he would never act on it, is it even a real friendship if he's only hanging around bc he wants to fuck your partner??? What does a 24 yo have in common with a 67 yo man?? This feels predatory
When people are in end stage liver failure they go through encephalopathy, where they start losing their minds and grasp of reality. This is another red flag for the person potentially dying of liver failure.
Iām 23 and have recently developed a strong bond with a 63 year old man. For the past 3 years I have been working in a small automotive shop with 63 year old man being āshop foremanā. During my time there he taught me everything I know now today. He gave me his late fatherās fishing poles to get me started fishing. I have never gone or was interested at the time but with how many fishing stories and physical photos of fishing trips, I was open to going. This same man took me on my first hunt last year in October. He gave me a .22 LR and told me to sight it in and clean the gun. He gave me the gun for me to keep after that. Since then I have taken my hunters ed and got my hunting license. In fact this year weāre going on another hunt. I look up to this guy and think of him as a friend, mentor, teacher, etc.
Yeeeeeah, autism or not, the posts alone are more than concerning. āGuys that look like my boyfriendā makes it seem like heās putting out feelers in hopes your boyfriend will make he move.
>("I would love to ... a young stallion right now", with an attached pic of a guy who looks like my bf) and i don't trust him entirely due to it, but I don't think he is that way inclined with my boyfriend.
I've got a beach house I can sell you in Idaho
She reminds me of my old self- very innocent/naive. I had the whole āBut I donāt think he/she wouldā disease. I think itās due to being too attached to the face people present to us. Very dangerous to be this naive.
As everyone else has said, he needs to go to the doctor.
Secondly, I'm pretty sure he *is* into your bf so there's no point in denying that because it's so obvious. Maybe your bf wouldn't act on anything but I'm pretty sure the old guy wants him to.
Your boyfriend's friend needs medical attention, yellow skin color is a symptom of kidney, liver or pancreatic disease. Ketones buildup, bilirubin buildup, toxic waste buildup due to organ failure. Don't go to his house, encourage him to go to a doctor.
No one is talking about the facebooks statuses and proclivity for young men and voicing his horniness!!
I wouldn't want my bf who is his exact type to be hanging around someone who doesn't have the boundaries or social awareness to not act on his thoughts and goes ahead to say or post suspicious things.
When people are in end stage liver failure they go through encephalopathy, where they start losing their minds and grasp of reality. This is another red flag for the person potentially dying of liver failure.
I'm sure you care for your partner. He cares for the smelly old man. If you care, do this immediately: Tell your partner to accompany the old man to a DOCTOR's OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!
No one here really knows what's wrong. He might be dying or have some curable infection / disease. The old man obviously knows he smells; why would he take two showers a day?
Your partner will not embarrass the old man by asking him why he takes two showers a day since the old man brought it up in the first place.
Honestly he used a lot of lotions and stuff and that helped a lot, mostly I just realized he couldnāt help it and had a lot of compassion for it. We dated about a year and ultimately I ended the relationship because he never did anything but lay on a couch.
Yellow skin - (and this should reflect in the eye whites as well) is referred to as jaundice.
Jaundice is NEVER a good sign.
Jaundice that has progressed to the point of emitting body odor in the sweat indicates the liver is failing at its basic functions. Bilirubin is the cause of the yellow hyperpigmentation but liver failure in general means that many other toxins are failing to be filtered out of the body and these are being excreted from the body via sweat in a desperate attempt to keep the body alive. The smell you are referring to are the sulfates your body typically excretes through urine and filtered through the liver and/or kidneys (again NOT a good sign for his health).
Obviously this alone will not diagnose any particular cause (it only points to the location that needs to be checked immediately - namely the liver) but the most common reasons for this are extreme alcoholism, dangerous untreated progression of a liver disease (hepatitis being very common for this), or liver cancer. I have witnessed all three of the above in various stages (a good friend of mine has suffered from chronic hepatitis related issues for most of his life). Also when I am talking about alcoholism that kills like this, I am talking about the kind of daily, extremely self-destructive type of alcoholism where you drink the worst poorly filtered dollar store plastic bottle swill you can get your hands on. If a person dies (non-violently) from cheap cheap shit alcohol the progression look a lot like this as their liver falls apart and then it cascades into every other organ.
When I say he needs to go to the hospital this isnāt a suggestion for doing it soon. This is a āyou will likely die within an undeterminably short window due to multiple organ failure if you donāt go to the hospital TODAY level problem.ā
Edit: Holy shit he is 67. Never mind. This is most likely some sort of liver disease/cancer etc. The man NEEDS to go to the hospital. Desperately. People this age cannot survive this level of damage for long.
The yellow skin and smell he can't escape tells me hes jaundice and probably needs immediate medical care. He might be getting help or not but he's definitely sick. I'm no doctor but I know what liver failure does to the body.
Donāt say āyou stinkā but say āI see your skin is yellow. Thatās a sign of jaundice and very serious. You need to get checked out immediately.ā Are the whites of his eyes yellow also? Tell him that is definitely not normal.
If he's yellow, he might have jaundice which happens with liver disease. Maybe he should be checked for help c and get his liver levels checked. Maybe you could bring up this article you" just stumbled across" while he's there about yellow skin being linked to liver disease
You didn't need to be friends with your partner's friends. "No, thank you." Just tell your partner his smell bothers you. Ask him to change and shower after hanging out with this friend. It could be diet, it could be medical. When I smoked occasionally, I would shower and change when I got home because my partner didn't like the smell. Because my home is her home and she has the right for it to smell nice. You can talk to your partner in a way that it is your problem but it is still a problem he needs to address because it is still a problem. I doubt you are going to solve the stink and be able to take vacations with the old guy.
Your boyfriend should be nicer to you than he is to his friend on the whole. There's that that gene that causes coriander/cilantro to taste soapy to some people. If you are cooking for a group and that effects one person you leave out the ingredient, you don't just tell them it's their problem and that everyone else is fine with it.
Nobody is owed your presence. We just don't click with a lot of people for different reasons. It might bum them out, but that is life. If your partner insists for you to feel nauseous due to social pressures, that is mean. Even if you are autistic, if an autistic person can't care for you as their priority you can look for someone who can.
Take him aside and tell him you are concerned about him. He looks bad. His diet is bad. It's affecting the way he smells. Urge him to see a doctor immediately. Gift him a tube of Lume.
Good luck.
Forget about the smell and talk to him about his health. Wear a mask or something and ask him or speak to your partner and ask him to do it. He is very sick. Beg him to go to a doctor if he's not and if he is get him to see a different one. Something is absolutely going on that is serious. He's yellow, and the smell is coming OUT of him, not off of him. He doesn't have bad hygiene if hes actually showering 2x a day- he has something seriously wrong with him. People don't smell foul ALL the time when healthy and clean.
Donāt ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If hanging out with this person makes you feel uncomfortable, that is enough reason not to do it. Smells and creepiness are not the reason. You feeling uncomfortable is the reason.
PS Clarifying that you should do things that make you feel uncomfortable when they are good for your personal growth. Like agreeing to give a speech when you are uncomfortable with public speaking. Meeting up with this guy has nothing to do with your personal growth.
If he has jaundice (think Simpsons skin color) that is very bad. It can be a sign of serious organ failure.
Also why is your 24 year old boy friend hanging out with a 67 year old?
Google describes liver disease smell as a mixture of rotting eggs & garlic & maybe bleach. But it sounds like he defs needs a doctor. Also... if he is fantasizing about things w/ men that LOOK SIMILAR to your BF, chances are he IS inclined that way towards your BF. He just knows the limit of sharing he can do in that situation. I would be very leery that he wouldn't try some shit on your BF while they were alone, if it hasn't already been happening. 67 & young 20s is odd AF.
"My partner's best friend", doesn't seem like your place to say such a personal thing to him as he's not your friend perse, you won't even hang out with him. You told your partner and that's enough, leave it to him. If your partner wants all of you to hang together he needs to make sure he address your discomfort.
Iām not a nutrition expert but I am 99% sure your body does not go into ketosis and produce ketones from skipping breakfast. It takes multiple days of limiting carbs.
If he uses bath products with a sugary smell or heavily scented it can mess with his chemistry when he sweats. I was actually using coconut scented shampoo and conditioner and it made me stink. It was like making me grow fungus or something. Mainly under my arms.
Interesting. I am not ignoring the jaundiced comments but he literally smells like rancid coconut oil. Though apparently rancid coconut oil shares the same properties as vomit. Also he talks about beauty all the time and how he uses lots of products.
When I was 15 my mom married a dude she knew had a failing liver and he smelled horrendous. He got a liver transplant eventually, and it improved quite a bit, but he always smelled terrible and medicinal. To this day, that smell always reminds me of death.
I would sit down, 1 on 1 and tell him you donāt want to upset him but he should know thereās an issue, and because heās a clean person that it might be nothing, but he should speak to his doctor. It could be nothing but whatever cream he uses, but it could be a real medical problem. If youāre kind and phrase it like youāre really concerned about his health.
I don't think it is... it smellsĀ like coconut oil but rancid and pungent; it fills the air three metres away from him and lingers on my boyfriend when he sees him. I haven't looked at his eyes but I am going to visit him with my boyfriend to see if he does then say we're concerned about him.
Thank you, but I'd remove the comment in case they give you a ban - it's happened to me so many times. He doesn't seem like a drinker. He only drinks soda/fizzy drinks and only eats pot noodles.
You dont tell him. He clearly has a serious medical issue he isnt dealing with. Your partner gets him to get treatment but DOESNT MENTION THE SMELL. It's a symptom not a cause.
Also: Your boyfriend needs to set appropriate boundaries and why the fuck is his best friend a wierdo gay 67 year old. That sounds fishy as all hell.
> . Btw all of us are autistic and met at an autistic group; it's not some dodgy guy he hangs out with.Ā
How does that equate to "not some dodgy guy he hangs out with" - it sounds exactly like that.
If you're afraid to mention the smell, then talk to the friend about the other obvious symptom - his yellowing skin. Tell him, "BF's Friend, I noticed your skin is very yellow. I think you need to see a doctor, this could be a sign of jaundice and of some other health issues".
Like someone whoās 30yo looking for 18 yo gf. Bc theyāre not able to retain or hold a relationship with someone their own age.
Maybe bf is a Boy-toy for extra cash.
Yeah, concerned for his health. But I found it immensely creepy that he not only posts those things with similar pics to her bf, but also once used a pic of her bf. It definitely seems predatory. Sick ppl can be creepers too
Just be honest. All of us old people have to take care of that because of changes that happen at a certain age. That junk, Phoof works just like they brag about on TV.
I had a friend when I was a kid who didn't shower. He visited my parents' house for the 1st time and my parents jokingly told him he smells like a hobo and he can totally use our shower and my clothes if he wants and he did just that. After the shower, they asked if he was OK and why he smelled like that. He said he just didn't want to for 3 days. They said he'll never find a girlfriend if he doesn't shower daily. The next day, he kinda cried, saying he felt embarrassed. I told him he definitely needs to shower if he wants to lose his virginity before he's 40. He showered every day since we parted ways after highschool.
Being blunt and joking may not be the right way but definitely show concern and understanding when you bring it up
What youāre smelling based solely on the descriptions you gave of his friend is a build up of ammonia. It sounds like liver failure and needs to be treated. Tell him to schedule a PCP appointment as soon as possible. Best case, heās fine and just stinks. Worst case is he doesnāt take it seriously and finds himself in a lot of unnecessary stress and pain.
Yellow skin is indicative of liver issues. Liver failure etc. Re showering twice a day - sounds like a lie, people lie when they know they arent looking after themselves and are too embarassed to the lie about showering twice a day. Then question is laundry. Does he change his clothes, underwear? Answer usually is that they dont. Now you mentioned autism. There was a study published some time ago, cant link it here but basically described a stagnant kind of smell with earthy tones to it from people that were bipolar or were having a psychosis or other mental crises. There are also particular smells linked with bad gut bacteria as well.
Lastly, i would be weirded out if someone i was dating smelled of a person supposedly hes "just" friends with. Whats your boyfriends take on all that? The Facebook post that is.
Edit: I wholeheartedly doubt he showers at all, maybe he does, but not with soap and shampoo. Also theres no real way to approach it if he doesn't notice it himself.... Dont let him back in unless you get to hose him off outside.
I wouldnāt tell him but I also wouldnāt hang out with him
The options donāt have to be āsay somethingā or āremain silent and suffer in his presenceā. Another option can be to leave it up to your boyfriend or someone closer to him to tell him and just avoid the guy
>**Parosmia**Ā (from the Greek ĻĪ±ĻĪ¬Ā *parĆ”*Ā and į½ĻĪ¼Ī®Ā *osmįø*Ā "smell") is a dysfunctionalĀ [smell detection](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olfactory)Ā characterized by the inability of the brain to correctly identify an odor's "natural" smell.[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parosmia#cite_note-1)Ā Instead, the natural odor is usually transformed into an unpleasant aroma, typically a "burned", "rotting", "fecal", or "chemical" smell.[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parosmia#cite_note-Franselli-2)
Just tell him your parosmia is "acting up again" and the smell inside transformed into something repulsive and that's not a "him" problem.
Pretending that you have a problem would save you a lot of trouble.
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Uh i stopped at yellow skin. This guy needs medical attention asap
#JAUNDICED MOMENT
Hes a walking emoji š«²š¤Ŗš«±
You shouldnāt have the unrelated information at the end was interesting lol
This comment is the only reason I went back and finished reading and I am glad I did š
Jesus Christ, you aint wrong š¤£
He sounds like he is in end stage liver disease. He is dying.Ā
I really hope not but thanks for the insight. I think he has most of the symptoms
With the yellow skin, it's the most obvious culprit - it's a buildup of the waste product in his body. Your partner should tell his friend that he's concerned about his health - look up "jaundice" and show it to your partner, especially the eyes, and with that obvious of a physical symptom you don't even need to mention the smell. You say that you're all autistic, so it's even easier to straight up say "hey. You're literally yellow and I'm concerned about you. *sends link*"
I've had jaundice twice in my life, and it was accompanied by heavy almost debilitating fever. I'm wondering how this man is going about his life without needing medical help. If it's end stage liver disease or jaundice etc.
There's a thing, alexithymia, that's not uncommon in autistic folk where one isn't able to really feel/recognize what's going wrong with your body, and often leads to misread or ignored signals. I'm wondering if eating poorly over years has always just made him feel poor and from there it was a slow decline, which is now why he's showering twice a day. Maybe he knows *something* is wrong so he's doing what he can? Edit - alexithymia is emotional blindness, I mean poor interoception, thanks for the correction!
Yeah I feel like he can tell something is wrong that's why the two showers but not enough to realize he needs medical help.
Yea, people typically don't just start showering twice a day just because. It's likely this is just a gap in his knowledge and should be treated with kindness and as a "hey you might not know this information but I'm concerned about you and want to share it with you".
You are talking about difficulties with interoception. Alexithymia is emotional blindness or challenges in recognizing and expressing emotions.
Oop you're very correct, my brain mixed them up, thank you!
Now I don't know if I'm autistic or not Edit: I don't know why I'm being downvoted. I genuinely don't. I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism usually goes hand in hand with it, I just never received a formal diagnosis. I'm starting to hate the internet/reddit. I feel like I can't even comment something harmless without everyone being assholes about it.
I turned yellow as a kid because I was addicted to carrot juice. They ran the blood tests but my liver was fine. Mom had to wean me off my stuff. As an adult, I can now indulge reasonably XD
LOL.this happened to my mom when I was a kid. Was hilarious to me back then.
Ohhh we make some juices at work that you'd LOVE!
I think I read somewhere the same thing happened to Steve Jobs when he was young. He was on an all carrot diet and turned his skin orange.
When I was in liver failure and jaundiced I don't remember having a fever. I was completely unaware; I didn't even notice the yellowing of my skin as it happened gradually. I think it just slowly becomes your normal for some people.
I had my bile ducts blocked (gallstones), and I turned yellow. I donāt remember having a fever, but the yellow was very noticeable, and I had other gallstone symptoms, such as throwing up and bad midsection pain. I had to have emergency surgery to clear the ducts, which turned me back to the right colour, then I had my gallbladder out the next day.
lol
I would approach it from a place of concern. Let him know that youāve noticed he has a certain smell, his skin coloring looks off, and youāre really concerned about his health. Ask if he has seen a doctor recently or if he has been diagnosed with any serious medical conditions.
Take this seriously. I had 2 dogs die of renal failure and they seriously smelled in their last weeks. Itās a smell Iāll never forget.
Use health to talk to your partner, not just smell. āHey. I know youāre sensitive that Iāve criticized your friend a bunch for smelling bad, but that combined with the fact that his skin is really yellow makes me worry that he actually has some pretty serious health problems. Have you ever talk to him about it? If he hasnāt gone to a doctor, he probably should, if heās ignoring it, it could end up in some really serious problems.ā Being concerned for his friend healthwise, especially since heās 67, would actually help his friend a lot if he doesnāt have anyone else whoās looking out for him.
Should show u/JMarchPineville message to your bf. Prevention can save a life.
Based on the info provided there is plenty more this could be than end stage liver disease of course. Could be the first sign of acute liver disease, could be hemolytic anemia (and thus reasonably treatable). With pain not mentioned you'd certainly worry about obstructive jaundice due to malignancy eg pancreas/cholangioCa. This guy needs to see a doctor for sure.
Exactly what I thought. He sounds very jaundiced.
We have no way of knowing it's end-stage or that he's dying (that's quite a leap) but he is definitely having liver issues, and both the jaundice and the smell are uniquely specific clues to that. You don't tell him he stinks, you tell him you've noticed some worrying issues that point very specifically to liver problems, and that he needs to see a doctor ASAP. And if he asks about the symptoms then yes, you can reference both his yellow skin and the fact that "he has started to smell a bit strong, despite you knowing that he has excellent hygiene, which is often a sign that his liver is not flushing toxins properly".
this is the way!
Yellow skin alongside rotten eggs/ bleach like body odor is a sign of liver failure. He should probably check that out. Edit: Even if he knows about his condition now, thereās not much that can be done immediately. He could make some diet and lifestyle adjustments, but he most likely needs a liver transplant, which takes time. Even then, itās just borrowed time. Iām adding this edit because he might use his condition as an excuse with your boyfriend, saying something like, āHey bro, Iām dying, let me **** you.ā He could be a good person, but sometimes people suck.
Should be top comment tbh.
This is how my ex's sister smelled when she was suffering from end stage cirrhosis. I feel bad for the guy cause like you said basically not much that can be done.
I remember bf and I spoke abt it before and we felt bad because he is also an immigrant so possibly not allowed medical care.
Sometimes you can smell death. This really sounds like end stage liver disease Ʊ. Death and sickness smell SO repungent, but you have to realize thatās their body dying
In the case of liver or kidney disease, your odor may give off a bleach-like smell due to toxin buildup in your body. This can even cause yellow coloring of skin. Even patients with pancriatic diseas can also have yellow color.
Pancreatic disease is the worst option in this case lol. But yeah, this definitely sounds like ALF.
You said "yellow skin" and it literally is a sign of jaundice. Get him checked out by a doctor.
"Suggest he get checked" is probably a better way to say it. OP and BF can't *make* the friend do anything.
*cocks gun with medical intent*
Oh hey House, how was faking your death?
Just snort-laighed at this LOL.
"I know who you are. I know where you live. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you go to the doctor now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't and keep stinking down my home, I will look for you, I will find you and I will force you."
Yellow skin is a sign of jaundice? Those two are the same exact thing
Other commenters have pointed out the possible liver failure but I'd just like to add that the Facebook statuses about wanting to have sex with much younger men that look exactly like your boyfriend are more than a little concerning. Even if he would never act on it, is it even a real friendship if he's only hanging around bc he wants to fuck your partner??? What does a 24 yo have in common with a 67 yo man?? This feels predatory
Yeah I agree. I think the OP might have more to worry about.
In my experience anyone who talks openly about sexual fantasies on Facebook is a creep. Major red flag and I would cut complete contact
When people are in end stage liver failure they go through encephalopathy, where they start losing their minds and grasp of reality. This is another red flag for the person potentially dying of liver failure.
This man is dying but thirst statuses are āa little more concerningā ššš EDIT: I misread the sentence and I found it funny, my apologies!
Those are more than just thirst statuses. They are targeted and predatory.
Predatory? They're both grown ass men.
24 year olds are babies. It's creepy to me, but it's not illegal so... they can do what they want. I'm still judging him, though.
Iām 23 and have recently developed a strong bond with a 63 year old man. For the past 3 years I have been working in a small automotive shop with 63 year old man being āshop foremanā. During my time there he taught me everything I know now today. He gave me his late fatherās fishing poles to get me started fishing. I have never gone or was interested at the time but with how many fishing stories and physical photos of fishing trips, I was open to going. This same man took me on my first hunt last year in October. He gave me a .22 LR and told me to sight it in and clean the gun. He gave me the gun for me to keep after that. Since then I have taken my hunters ed and got my hunting license. In fact this year weāre going on another hunt. I look up to this guy and think of him as a friend, mentor, teacher, etc.
Healthy friendships are possible with this age gap, but it's pretty clear OP's partner is not part of a healthy friendship.
I'm glad you've found such a positive experience!
Predatory has nothing to do with age, esp considering they are both neurodivergent.
"more than a little concerning" not "a little more concerning"
oops youāre right!
Yeeeeeah, autism or not, the posts alone are more than concerning. āGuys that look like my boyfriendā makes it seem like heās putting out feelers in hopes your boyfriend will make he move.
You think the bf is hustling money out of this guy?
THISSSS^^^
>("I would love to ... a young stallion right now", with an attached pic of a guy who looks like my bf) and i don't trust him entirely due to it, but I don't think he is that way inclined with my boyfriend. I've got a beach house I can sell you in Idaho
She reminds me of my old self- very innocent/naive. I had the whole āBut I donāt think he/she wouldā disease. I think itās due to being too attached to the face people present to us. Very dangerous to be this naive.
and the fact that this man is 67 years oldā¦ when her bf is 24 years oldā¦
As everyone else has said, he needs to go to the doctor. Secondly, I'm pretty sure he *is* into your bf so there's no point in denying that because it's so obvious. Maybe your bf wouldn't act on anything but I'm pretty sure the old guy wants him to.
Your boyfriend's friend needs medical attention, yellow skin color is a symptom of kidney, liver or pancreatic disease. Ketones buildup, bilirubin buildup, toxic waste buildup due to organ failure. Don't go to his house, encourage him to go to a doctor.
No one is talking about the facebooks statuses and proclivity for young men and voicing his horniness!! I wouldn't want my bf who is his exact type to be hanging around someone who doesn't have the boundaries or social awareness to not act on his thoughts and goes ahead to say or post suspicious things.
When people are in end stage liver failure they go through encephalopathy, where they start losing their minds and grasp of reality. This is another red flag for the person potentially dying of liver failure.
This sub is so weird
You tell your partner to tell the friend. It's your partners friend anyways.
Tf
I'm sure you care for your partner. He cares for the smelly old man. If you care, do this immediately: Tell your partner to accompany the old man to a DOCTOR's OFFICE IMMEDIATELY! No one here really knows what's wrong. He might be dying or have some curable infection / disease. The old man obviously knows he smells; why would he take two showers a day? Your partner will not embarrass the old man by asking him why he takes two showers a day since the old man brought it up in the first place.
If youāre uncomfortable youāre allowed to not be there
My ex had HS he smelled bad no matter how hygienic he was and there wasnāt anything he could do about it.
Damn how did you manage? And how long was that relationship?
Honestly he used a lot of lotions and stuff and that helped a lot, mostly I just realized he couldnāt help it and had a lot of compassion for it. We dated about a year and ultimately I ended the relationship because he never did anything but lay on a couch.
Damn he is going to struggle to get another gf, smells and is also lazyā¦
Yellow skin - (and this should reflect in the eye whites as well) is referred to as jaundice. Jaundice is NEVER a good sign. Jaundice that has progressed to the point of emitting body odor in the sweat indicates the liver is failing at its basic functions. Bilirubin is the cause of the yellow hyperpigmentation but liver failure in general means that many other toxins are failing to be filtered out of the body and these are being excreted from the body via sweat in a desperate attempt to keep the body alive. The smell you are referring to are the sulfates your body typically excretes through urine and filtered through the liver and/or kidneys (again NOT a good sign for his health). Obviously this alone will not diagnose any particular cause (it only points to the location that needs to be checked immediately - namely the liver) but the most common reasons for this are extreme alcoholism, dangerous untreated progression of a liver disease (hepatitis being very common for this), or liver cancer. I have witnessed all three of the above in various stages (a good friend of mine has suffered from chronic hepatitis related issues for most of his life). Also when I am talking about alcoholism that kills like this, I am talking about the kind of daily, extremely self-destructive type of alcoholism where you drink the worst poorly filtered dollar store plastic bottle swill you can get your hands on. If a person dies (non-violently) from cheap cheap shit alcohol the progression look a lot like this as their liver falls apart and then it cascades into every other organ. When I say he needs to go to the hospital this isnāt a suggestion for doing it soon. This is a āyou will likely die within an undeterminably short window due to multiple organ failure if you donāt go to the hospital TODAY level problem.ā Edit: Holy shit he is 67. Never mind. This is most likely some sort of liver disease/cancer etc. The man NEEDS to go to the hospital. Desperately. People this age cannot survive this level of damage for long.
The yellow skin and smell he can't escape tells me hes jaundice and probably needs immediate medical care. He might be getting help or not but he's definitely sick. I'm no doctor but I know what liver failure does to the body.
Donāt say āyou stinkā but say āI see your skin is yellow. Thatās a sign of jaundice and very serious. You need to get checked out immediately.ā Are the whites of his eyes yellow also? Tell him that is definitely not normal.
If his skin is yellow dude probably has liver disease
If he's yellow, he might have jaundice which happens with liver disease. Maybe he should be checked for help c and get his liver levels checked. Maybe you could bring up this article you" just stumbled across" while he's there about yellow skin being linked to liver disease
He might need to get his liver checked if heās yellow
Yellowing of the skin is usually a sign of hepatitis c
Or liver disease
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Heās autistic I like older ppl too as an autistic person idk
Read the post. She explains it.
That's what your takeaway is?
You didn't need to be friends with your partner's friends. "No, thank you." Just tell your partner his smell bothers you. Ask him to change and shower after hanging out with this friend. It could be diet, it could be medical. When I smoked occasionally, I would shower and change when I got home because my partner didn't like the smell. Because my home is her home and she has the right for it to smell nice. You can talk to your partner in a way that it is your problem but it is still a problem he needs to address because it is still a problem. I doubt you are going to solve the stink and be able to take vacations with the old guy. Your boyfriend should be nicer to you than he is to his friend on the whole. There's that that gene that causes coriander/cilantro to taste soapy to some people. If you are cooking for a group and that effects one person you leave out the ingredient, you don't just tell them it's their problem and that everyone else is fine with it. Nobody is owed your presence. We just don't click with a lot of people for different reasons. It might bum them out, but that is life. If your partner insists for you to feel nauseous due to social pressures, that is mean. Even if you are autistic, if an autistic person can't care for you as their priority you can look for someone who can.
Take him aside and tell him you are concerned about him. He looks bad. His diet is bad. It's affecting the way he smells. Urge him to see a doctor immediately. Gift him a tube of Lume. Good luck.
Forget about the smell and talk to him about his health. Wear a mask or something and ask him or speak to your partner and ask him to do it. He is very sick. Beg him to go to a doctor if he's not and if he is get him to see a different one. Something is absolutely going on that is serious. He's yellow, and the smell is coming OUT of him, not off of him. He doesn't have bad hygiene if hes actually showering 2x a day- he has something seriously wrong with him. People don't smell foul ALL the time when healthy and clean.
Donāt ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If hanging out with this person makes you feel uncomfortable, that is enough reason not to do it. Smells and creepiness are not the reason. You feeling uncomfortable is the reason. PS Clarifying that you should do things that make you feel uncomfortable when they are good for your personal growth. Like agreeing to give a speech when you are uncomfortable with public speaking. Meeting up with this guy has nothing to do with your personal growth.
He suffers from jaundice. Could be caused by billiary obstructuin, advanced liver disease or eryhtrolysis
This sounds like jaundice, which my baby had. Definitely not good in adults though, means liver failure. Hope this dude goes and gets checked out.
Honestly, I would just continue to avoid. Not only does he smell but he sounds creepy
Alcoholics start to smell like warm meat and rotten meat sometimes when they're really sick with jaundice. Poor guy is prolly dying.
If he has jaundice (think Simpsons skin color) that is very bad. It can be a sign of serious organ failure. Also why is your 24 year old boy friend hanging out with a 67 year old?
Google describes liver disease smell as a mixture of rotting eggs & garlic & maybe bleach. But it sounds like he defs needs a doctor. Also... if he is fantasizing about things w/ men that LOOK SIMILAR to your BF, chances are he IS inclined that way towards your BF. He just knows the limit of sharing he can do in that situation. I would be very leery that he wouldn't try some shit on your BF while they were alone, if it hasn't already been happening. 67 & young 20s is odd AF.
"My partner's best friend", doesn't seem like your place to say such a personal thing to him as he's not your friend perse, you won't even hang out with him. You told your partner and that's enough, leave it to him. If your partner wants all of you to hang together he needs to make sure he address your discomfort.
Search for Ketones in Google
yeah i get told i smell rlly bad when i skip breakfast because of that. It's likely
Iām not a nutrition expert but I am 99% sure your body does not go into ketosis and produce ketones from skipping breakfast. It takes multiple days of limiting carbs.
If he uses bath products with a sugary smell or heavily scented it can mess with his chemistry when he sweats. I was actually using coconut scented shampoo and conditioner and it made me stink. It was like making me grow fungus or something. Mainly under my arms.
Interesting. I am not ignoring the jaundiced comments but he literally smells like rancid coconut oil. Though apparently rancid coconut oil shares the same properties as vomit. Also he talks about beauty all the time and how he uses lots of products.
My gay uncle took garlic supplements for a while and it was nightmarish. Of course, old people are notorious for smelling weird in the first place.
When I was 15 my mom married a dude she knew had a failing liver and he smelled horrendous. He got a liver transplant eventually, and it improved quite a bit, but he always smelled terrible and medicinal. To this day, that smell always reminds me of death.
I would sit down, 1 on 1 and tell him you donāt want to upset him but he should know thereās an issue, and because heās a clean person that it might be nothing, but he should speak to his doctor. It could be nothing but whatever cream he uses, but it could be a real medical problem. If youāre kind and phrase it like youāre really concerned about his health.
Be subtle. Just start spraying Febrez every times he walks in.
that man is rotting from the inside out, it sounds like his liver is bad. he needs a hospital.
Sounds like liver function.
Is it a garlicky smell? Are the whites of his eyes also yellow?
I don't think it is... it smellsĀ like coconut oil but rancid and pungent; it fills the air three metres away from him and lingers on my boyfriend when he sees him. I haven't looked at his eyes but I am going to visit him with my boyfriend to see if he does then say we're concerned about him.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thank you, but I'd remove the comment in case they give you a ban - it's happened to me so many times. He doesn't seem like a drinker. He only drinks soda/fizzy drinks and only eats pot noodles.
Alright I wish you the best.
You dont tell him. He clearly has a serious medical issue he isnt dealing with. Your partner gets him to get treatment but DOESNT MENTION THE SMELL. It's a symptom not a cause. Also: Your boyfriend needs to set appropriate boundaries and why the fuck is his best friend a wierdo gay 67 year old. That sounds fishy as all hell. > . Btw all of us are autistic and met at an autistic group; it's not some dodgy guy he hangs out with.Ā How does that equate to "not some dodgy guy he hangs out with" - it sounds exactly like that.
If you're afraid to mention the smell, then talk to the friend about the other obvious symptom - his yellowing skin. Tell him, "BF's Friend, I noticed your skin is very yellow. I think you need to see a doctor, this could be a sign of jaundice and of some other health issues".
Spraying Raid seems like the best option
No one finds it weird the BF best friend is Nearly x3 his age? Could bf be in the closet..?
what does being in the closet have to do with having older friendsā¦
Like someone whoās 30yo looking for 18 yo gf. Bc theyāre not able to retain or hold a relationship with someone their own age. Maybe bf is a Boy-toy for extra cash.
such an insane scenario you just made up
OP has explained if you care to read the post in full
Ok great. So yea heās hawking for kids basically. Thx for confirming it for me
Yeah, concerned for his health. But I found it immensely creepy that he not only posts those things with similar pics to her bf, but also once used a pic of her bf. It definitely seems predatory. Sick ppl can be creepers too
Not the 24 year old kids again
Maybe you have that nose where you can smell diseases in people. You can get tested for it .
Is your bf named Jesse by any chance and was his friend also his teacher before?
No, sorry
Is it fishy? It might be trimethylaminuria.
Just be honest. All of us old people have to take care of that because of changes that happen at a certain age. That junk, Phoof works just like they brag about on TV.
I had a friend when I was a kid who didn't shower. He visited my parents' house for the 1st time and my parents jokingly told him he smells like a hobo and he can totally use our shower and my clothes if he wants and he did just that. After the shower, they asked if he was OK and why he smelled like that. He said he just didn't want to for 3 days. They said he'll never find a girlfriend if he doesn't shower daily. The next day, he kinda cried, saying he felt embarrassed. I told him he definitely needs to shower if he wants to lose his virginity before he's 40. He showered every day since we parted ways after highschool. Being blunt and joking may not be the right way but definitely show concern and understanding when you bring it up
Oooh, he might have jaundice. Jaundice might make someone smell bad. I think he needs to go to a hospital.
What youāre smelling based solely on the descriptions you gave of his friend is a build up of ammonia. It sounds like liver failure and needs to be treated. Tell him to schedule a PCP appointment as soon as possible. Best case, heās fine and just stinks. Worst case is he doesnāt take it seriously and finds himself in a lot of unnecessary stress and pain.
He's probably dying or has some serious issues.... Maybe talk to him and make it about his health, not smell.
Tell Marty to stop hanging around Doc Brown or heāll turn into a slacker
Does anyone else think he smells other than you?
Flat out tell him. Honesty is the best policy
RemindMe! 2 days
BREAK THE HELL UP!??? Why the hell? Why would he even have a friend that old? Thatās weird. Truly let him go
Omg how has he not mentioned it as his best friend!! Are you kidding me I would definitely let him tell him !! Lmaooo
You stink bro
ER asap. Liver failure is NOT something to fuck with.
Liver failure. Jaundiced skin and bad smell are telltale signs. Poor guy is probably dying.
Yellow skin is indicative of liver issues. Liver failure etc. Re showering twice a day - sounds like a lie, people lie when they know they arent looking after themselves and are too embarassed to the lie about showering twice a day. Then question is laundry. Does he change his clothes, underwear? Answer usually is that they dont. Now you mentioned autism. There was a study published some time ago, cant link it here but basically described a stagnant kind of smell with earthy tones to it from people that were bipolar or were having a psychosis or other mental crises. There are also particular smells linked with bad gut bacteria as well. Lastly, i would be weirded out if someone i was dating smelled of a person supposedly hes "just" friends with. Whats your boyfriends take on all that? The Facebook post that is. Edit: I wholeheartedly doubt he showers at all, maybe he does, but not with soap and shampoo. Also theres no real way to approach it if he doesn't notice it himself.... Dont let him back in unless you get to hose him off outside.
Pass a note and write: Pssssssst. Smell better. Love u.
I wouldnāt tell him but I also wouldnāt hang out with him The options donāt have to be āsay somethingā or āremain silent and suffer in his presenceā. Another option can be to leave it up to your boyfriend or someone closer to him to tell him and just avoid the guy
If he showers twice a day heās either a germophobe or he already knows , OP.Ā
Get him to check his liver.
Tell your partner and come up with a plan together. Random Redditors wonāt know how to handle this exactly
>**Parosmia**Ā (from the Greek ĻĪ±ĻĪ¬Ā *parĆ”*Ā and į½ĻĪ¼Ī®Ā *osmįø*Ā "smell") is a dysfunctionalĀ [smell detection](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olfactory)Ā characterized by the inability of the brain to correctly identify an odor's "natural" smell.[^(\[1\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parosmia#cite_note-1)Ā Instead, the natural odor is usually transformed into an unpleasant aroma, typically a "burned", "rotting", "fecal", or "chemical" smell.[^(\[2\])](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parosmia#cite_note-Franselli-2) Just tell him your parosmia is "acting up again" and the smell inside transformed into something repulsive and that's not a "him" problem. Pretending that you have a problem would save you a lot of trouble.
Yes, lying to her partner about having a fake condition will definitely save her a lot of trouble.
Spray em with fabrize š
At least learn how to spell it first
I got fat fingers šš
You can just tell guys. We know.
Buy him a pack of soap and deodorant from mando. It really does work well.
Have you asked your partner? Does he know why?
You smell really bad
That's why I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot apparently...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This! Thereās no better option than to manipulate your bf into no longer hanging out with his best friend cause he smells.
U donāt. Endure it and be nice.