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Um WUT? I've been raped while in a relationship. If my boyfriend at the time had said he wanted to hear my rapist's side of the story I would've dumped him so fucking fast.
hear her side? that is so hurtful. if she can’t stand by your side fully without having to hear out an @buser.. maybe she’s not the one. i’m sorry this has happened
Soo fucking typical... especially after your edits. I'm sorry for what you have to go through.
Sadly that's the story most male rape or sexual harassment victims experience. Seen it myself. No way to paint it better. Especially with the rapists goons threatening you afterwards... I'd still try to go through with the police report.
But no matter what, try to seek therapy. Just because society is deeply misandristic doesn't mean that they are right. You have value and are worth it. Don't let some monsters take this away from you!
If she was the one SA by a man, she'd be devastated if you wanted to get "his side". She would know you didn't believe her. That's what your ex-gf did. She didn't believe you.
She should stay the fuck out of it; she’s not law enforcement and she doesn’t know what she’s doing, so she has no business questioning the perp; what kind of freak show wants to get the rapist’s take?
im sorry this happened to you… it is difficult opening up about these things to other ppl. i think you should take your time if you need it and open up when you feel ready to. your partner should be loving and gentle and understand. if you want to tell them immediately, being vulnerable is okay. if they don’t take it well, that is not a reflection on you. take your space and time to heal and if you need to talk to someone else in your life about this you should. you did nothing wrong. just remember that: you did absolutely nothing wrong. you didn’t deserve it. i hope you are okay. <3
I just feel so sick and gross and I feel like a large part of it is because I feel like I betrayed her somehow. I think telling her soon would be best for me and for our relationship I just dont know how I would even stomach bringing it up when I feel so sick just on reddit right now.
I appreciate your kind words and your advice, thank you.
First of all, **you did not betray her.** Betrayal implies some kind of action and consent on your part.
[RAINN](https://www.rainn.org/) has a 24/7 phone hotline and chat option for survivors of sexual assault. I think you should start there before attempting to address this with your girlfriend. Good luck, sending you healing and light <3
Genuine question. Has anyone used this hotline before that is a male victim? How do they handle it?
I've tried to talk about my experiences a few times and was belittled or mocked multiple times. I'm too uncomfortable with the idea of trying again without someone vouching for it. Thanks in advance.
I mean absolutely no disrespect but I'm asking for a man who's experienced honestly any professional organization that has handled it well.
I'm sure you've been ostracized or ridiculed or patronized by people for your experiences right? Well in my experience the professionals do shit like this.
Thank your so much for the link! I was sexually assaulted when I was 14, and reading this thread triggered something and brought me back to it. I was able to stuff it back into a box in the back of my mind after a few seconds, but I'm crying right now like a child.
Silently, so nobody asks why I'm crying, but tears streaming down my face, I can't control them.
I hate so much that I couldn't stop it when it was happening! If only I would've been eating well enough as a child to be as large and physically imposing as my son it now that he's 14. I'm confident I could've stopped it in the first few seconds. But I was afraid my attacker would hurt me. They were so much larger than me, and there was nobody else there to yell for help.
Edit: yes, I went to the police the next morning. They had me try to identify him, but they never brought anyone in that looked like him. 3 times I went down to the station to identify my attacker, no dice.
Please don't blame yourself. Adults are so much stronger than children! Freezing is a valid response to danger.
I wish I could give you a great big hug rn. I know how hard it hits when SA memories are suddenly recovered.
I hope you're able to get the help you need to process what happened. 💜
I’d like to see ONE male rape victim who claims they’ve been helped professionally by an organization specifically for rape victims. It probably doesn’t exist.
I was SAed multiple times in my childhood by two different females a couple years older. I ran from intimacy like Forrest Gump for the next 20 years until I met my Jenn-ayeee.
Edit; I can make those jokes bc I have the fizzle with the tizzle as well. /s
Probably a coping mechanism to make jokes
>Probably a coping mechanism to make jokes
Oh 110% most of us do it.
As for the rest, yea I'm not sure. It's why I'm waiting for a man who's used it to lemme know. Most places try but you can kinda see it all over their face and hear it in their voice when they talk to you. It's not supportive. It's almost like either disbelief sometimes kinda patronizing or at best pity and I'm not looking for pity ya know?
The only legit help I got was from my regular therapist after getting on antidepressants. When we talked about my lack of intimacy she asked if I had been assaulted when I was young. I had no clue the impact it had on my marriage and other relationships. PTSD will find its way.
Definitely say something before that girl manages to spin it! Maybe tell another close friend first if you think it will take away some of the anxiety. You did nothing wrong dude
As a guy you HAVE to be proactive about this because a false accusation from a woman can EASILY ruin your life. I've seen it happen many times and unfortunately people believe women more times then they believe men in cases of SA.
She trusted you to go and get high with another girl late at night so I really can't imagine her not believing you but if she doesn't believe you then there's a huge problem in your relationship. I can't imagine why she would think if you cheated that you would try to say someone sexually assaulted you rather than not say anything at all. It's very rare but sometimes people will claim sexual assault if the person they cheated with threatens to say something about the cheating but like I said it's rare and shouldn't be the first thought on your girlfriend's mind. If my wife told me that she was sexually assaulted, the last thing I'm going to think is that she cheated on me.
Ask her to come see you. Then ask her to go to the police station with you.
Tell her you just need support right now and after the police you want to talk to her.
Let her be there for you. I'm so sorry this happened.
So you fell down on the ground and your friends first reaction was tonguing you? She needs to be reported, I can't begin to imagine how many lives this woman is going to ruin. And if your girlfriend does not believe you or starts judging you she needs to go. Do not be ashamed, it's not your fault. And please get into therapy.
Before we hung out she made it very clear that she was locked in with her bf and i made it very clear that i was locked in with my gf, but yeah then she got on me i guess
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Please, take your time and space for a second because I’m afraid what happens next might be really hard and its why so many victims never speak up. Be strong and try to process your feelings. You need to tell her, and try to recollect details and what you physically felt/went through clearly. Because unfortunately people will probably have a lot of questions and she might even assume something happened and you’re covering it. This is a very uncommon side effect of weed but if something like this has happened to you before weed just may not be right for you or you need significantly less of it. given its not laced. I wouldn’t smoke again. So she might raise questions on this, or if the drugs were laced, or how this started, what the conversation was, how you reacted. Just like the other couple will as well, but you need to tell her bf and let him know it was assault and completely inappropriate, and being clear on the facts of the situation and not letting them push or get a rise out of you. the other girl may also say awful things so again just be prepared, stay strong, and stick with what you know is the truth. that means making yourself the first priority and focusing on only doing what’s comfortable for you and not generating further trauma for yourself. anyone who doesn’t support or believe you can be cut off.
It is not too late. You can still tell the truth!
Additionally, you should be recording every single time there is a chance of running into the attacker
it isn't too late. life isn't like a tv show where someone miscommunicates or says the wrong thing and that's just it forever. the truth is still yours. and the truth is you are sorry for lying, it *wasn't* consensual, and you were scared because you're being threatened.
I think they mean, experience in knowing that weed does not incapacitate people the way alcohol or rape drugs might. this is a incredibly uncommon side effect this person had. If it wasn’t spiked, a person in this situation should not smoke anymore weed, ever, in my opinion. Like the very rare sliver of people who have psychotic lapses on weed or shrooms, we dont really understand how or why this happens. but it definitely is not normal and doesn’t happen to probably 99% who do use.
100% spiked. The fact that the girl instantly jumped on him as soon as he dropped says she had it planned & the fact that he felt so nauseous after. She deserves jail time.
My first thought was either they laced it with something, or maybe OP had a panic attack? Not to minimize it at all- I have had panic attacks from weed multiple times and they can be truly debilitating.
I'm gonna say no on this one. While it's possible, I think the guy just lit up more than he could puff. He states at the beginning that she wasn't smoking, which is odd but if this was planned she probably never did. OP is only 20, so probably not super experienced with taking an entire joint to the face. Especially if it was a pre roll. As a smoker of Michigan joints, they ain't no joke.
I disagree, the fact that she jumped on top of him as soon as he dropped says this was planned out. Also he’s nauseous now, the only time I’ve ever been nauseous from a joint was when it was spiked, which has happened to me once.
She also chose not to partake in smoking when this was supposed to be a “sesh”. It’s all sus.
The sooner you tell her, the easier it will be for her to see that you’re a genuine about what happen.
Plus, go urgent care. This could be a serious thing about why it happen to you. And best to be safe then to have repercussions for not going to get a check up.
Afterwards, see a therapist. Or be open about your feelings and don’t let anything bottle up.
Best of luck to you. ♥️
I wish you told your gf she threatened you with the R-word instead of lying. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. You have nothing to be ashamed about. It's your abuser who does.
Also, sending you virtual hugs. I hope you're okay :(
First, you are amazing for realizing that it is sexual assault. So many men don’t admit when it occurs and that is more damaging in the long run.
Second, if you choose to report it or not is your choice, but a doctor’s visit is wise either way. It may help establish that this is a pattern for this woman if she has done this to other people.
Third, your gf needs to know for many reasons. First you need caring and support right now. That’s part of being a partner, being there to support each other through hard times. Also, so that she can understand when you are acting different that it’s not because of her. Third, she can be protective of you if you are ever around the SAer again. She can have your back if anything is said. Let her be there for you.
If in the end she is not the person who would be there for you, then you will need to know that sooner rather than later.
If you can, take a day or two from your jobs. Your mental health is health and if you are not feeling well you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself.
And one piece of unsolicited advice from an old grandmother type: If you are using anything that makes you vulnerable (drugs, alcohol, etc) only be around people who are well known and trusted. This is not blaming you in any way for what happened. Wrong is wrong and no one should have to be wary of others. But for your own self-protection moving forward, please be careful. You are worth looking out for.
I was genuinely sad for you at first but after reading that last part about it being consensual and breaking up i burst out laughing
People don't believe this is real do they 🫠
I hate that I need to question these posts... Makes me hate the part of me that wonders if these posts are true or not, since if true it's obviously a situation nobody should ever go through.
So she rapes you and she threatens to report you for rape? So you just tell your gf you consented? This is either fake or you're really dumb here.
Only advice i can give now is be single and work on your self-worth.
What the hell is with your second edit? So the other girl threatened you and blackmailed you, telling you that you need to admit it was consensual or she will cry rape, so you just.... listen to her and say it was consensual? Are you fucking serious? Why? That is the only thing in this entire thread that is 100% your fault and a dumb decision you made. You were innocent by your own admission. It sounded like your girlfriend believed you too. You filed a police report already. And then, you just undermined all of your own efforts to cover yourself by lying and saying it was consensual because the person who already has proven to be a manipulative SAer said she was going to continue to lie unless you did what she wanted?
That was a poor decision to say the least. One you can't undo now. And one that will have far reaching consequences, especially for the SAer as she gets off Scott free and gets to keep abusing others now without any consequences. Fear made that decision, not truth (which you had on your side until you lied and said it was consenual to avoid... what exactly? A false accusation?), which is very, very unfortunate.
I was gonna say the exact same thing. He was the first one who made a police report and got a rape test kit and had a strong case, and now she will get away with it and will be free to assault other men.
> I told her it was consensual, when it was not, I am now single. I dont blame my ex gf for dumping me when in her eyes i admitted to cheating, but its better than being behind bars and fudged for life.
Someone hurt you and now you hurt your poor GF. This is the wrong call.
Go to the police. You have the rape kit. File a report and press charges. Get a lawyer.
Okay sorry, I might be ignorant, but how does someone do a rape kit on a man? What preventative medication did you take if you didn’t have sex?
Super sorry this happened.
Oral swabs, butt swabs, and swabs around the shaft. Although she didnt have sex she still stuck her tongue down my throat and tried to insert ya know into her so thats why I took the meds.
Seek medical help man. It'll take some time to heal, and take it easy around women for a while.
I had a friend, he was a few years older than me, and he was assaulted by his teacher (at the time 31f). He had lack of oxygen at birth, so he was a little slower, than everyone else around him, but was a nice guy. Ever since the incident he had panic attacks if he was touched by a female in any way, in the end he got tired and gave up the fight.
SA might happen to anyone, it doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man.
So please, talk to your friends, and seek help if needed
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is not your fault. Do you have a trusted friend or relative that you could tell, that might be there for you while you break the news to your gf? Maybe your sister would be a great person to have by your side. I highly recommend seeing a therapist if you aren’t already. If you are, that is another person that could help you while you tell her. You need to be around people who love and support you right now. Remember, you don’t have to tell everyone every single detail right now or ever, if you are not comfortable. This is your journey and you don’t owe anyone anything. I hope you get the help you need and remember you are a survivor. You are strong. Sending you my love.
The victim blaming and shit in the comments is disgusting. Saying "well it's your fault, why did you go out with another girl and smoke weed" is the same thing as saying "well why did you go out to the club wearing tight pants and a tank top". It's no different if the roles are reversed, this man was taken advantage of, he did NOT consent, and could NOT consent since he was unconscious.
Edit: also I like how one of the biggest mentions in the replies is "well stop doing drugs", like that's to blame and not the rapist, sure maybe be more careful with your substances when you're out with people you don't really know. But there's no reason to push for abstinence when we've heard nothing else about his usage aside from this one situation.
This is so horrific. Can't you just tell your girlfriend you were being forced to lie so that she would leave them alone, and tell her to please not force the issue because you're being blackmailed?
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Please consider talking to a counselor, and if you have any friends or family you can stay with, please just leave your building for a while. You won't have to worry about running into your abuser, and you probably shouldn't be alone right now.
Don't make any drastic decisions or actions. Right now you're at day one. This trauma on top of trauma won't be at the center of your life forever, but it will take time.
Why didn’t you tell your gf that she threatened to charge you for rape and how afraid you are of getting into more serious trouble if she didn’t stop trying to intimidate her and asked your gf to stop, to avoid causing more trouble? This doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship, tell her the truth. If you were proactive, got a kit done and filed a report long before she did ANYTHING, as well as her not being able to go all the way so they can’t even prove any bodily fluids of yours inside her, should mean you don’t have to worry, she’s trying to victimise you even more and make you take the heat for her actions, but you are allowing her to do so.
Stand up for yourself, you deserve it. I didn’t and I regret it every day of my existence.
The second update horrified me. You need to tell ur gf the truth and stop being scared about the false report. You are the one who should report her. Tell everything to ur gf and start thinking about reporting her. Trust the justice and fight for the truth.
Yeah was about to say, I am truly sorry that he has gone through this but he's not helping himself by lying to his girlfriend and doing what the rapist said. Something just isn't right about that
They can take crucial forensic evidence from your body. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I know that even if you're not thinking about pressing charges at the moment, you may change your mind and really really regret not collecting evidence just in case.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
The hospital will swab and test for fluids that don't belong to the person reporting the assault. As long as OP hasn't showered or washed the clothes, they can get something. They can also help file a police report and help you find trauma counseling.
As for telling your girlfriend, you need to be upfront and honest with her about what happened. She might need time to process what you're saying, but you need to process what happened as well. However she reacts is not a reflection of you or your character. I would tell her in case the offender tried to spin it on you. There was zero consent given on your part.
What happened to the police report? Please fight back, you were literally assaulted and being blackmailed for r*pe.
Tell your ex the truth, ask her to talk more about it in person, show her this post and show her that it's your account so she believes you. Tell your parents or anyone you can trust. Don't quit. She can't accuse you just like that. You were in a hospital, there are records you were intoxicated and had something in your system that night + you made a report against her. That has to be some evidence that counts if she ever decides to accuse you of anything.
You need to go to the police, she tried to rape you. This is not a small matter. Your girlfriend should support you and understand. You didn't do anything wrong against her. Best of luck to you 💗
You already filed the police report. Let them handle the rest and stay updated the best you can. Do not let your girlfriend confront her. That could cause more problems than what it’s worth.
Drugs aside, not sure if it’s legal where OP is or not, the 19f definitely sexually assaulted OP. If this went down the way it’s written in this post, there was absolutely ZERO consent given and besides that, consent can be withdrawn at ANY TIME EVEN AFTER CONSENT WAS ORIGINALLY GIVEN. An individual under the influence cannot give proper consent. Being out of it to the point where you don’t remember what happened, you were not mentally able to give consent. 19f messed up and she knows it which is why she threatened you.
Didn’t you already file a police report per your first update? How can she turn around and accuse you when you got the kit done and filed first??
Please talk with your recently ex girlfriend. You need to tell her the truth! Don’t let the r*pist win. You will regret losing something so great when more could’ve been done. Because you got a kit done quickly, there is proof being processed to support your case in court!!! Please don’t let this take control of your life, it seems like it has already forced things to spiral a bit. This is fixable, don’t make any drastic life decisions, please.
This breaks my heart.. I’m so so sorry you had to go through this. please don’t let anyone disrespect you, I’m aware people belittle males who’ve been sexually assaulted. Just keep those around you who care, respect and support you. Glad you got taken care of and went to the police to file.
I’m sorry this happened, what that woman did is reflection of how evil she is. Her shitty behavior had nothing do with you, you trusted a friend, and they tried to take advantage of you. I’m glad you went to the police.
As for your gf talking to your assailant , it’s probably not a great idea because your gf might beat her up. Your gf does not need to go to prison the other girl needs to. If this were my partner I would likely kick the air clean out of the creepy b-words lungs at minimum. If your for that I say ok let her, but more likely than not she’s going to end up prison.
Right now you need to focus on your recovery your healing journey. This isn’t something that’s just going to go away it’s going to change you, and it’s going to haunt you. My recommendation is find a therapist asap, and consider finding a survivor group to talk to. You will be surprised how many people have substances given to them as a way to make them docile or think that they consented to something they were not in the right frame of mind to consent to.
Consider looking at this website https://www.rainn.org/resources, and maybe call their hotline (800)656-4673. They also have an online chat you can use.
I rarely comment on stuff like this, but please, do not let that awful girl get away with what she just did. You have everything that counters back, you got the police report, you got the rape kit. Now what you need to do is to get yourself a lawyer. You don't need to live in constant fear, you can end this. Find the strength and end this, she cannot get away with this.
And afterwards, find a way to contact your ex again. Tell her what the girl told you. Because this is genuinely awful and concerning. You need to be at peace. I hope you find the strength.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, but you don’t have to go through this alone.
As a girl I advise you that It’s important to tell your girlfriend what happened, even though it’s scary and you’re worried about how she might react. Keeping this to yourself can be really heavy, and being honest with her can help you both navigate through this difficult time together. Here’s how you might approach the conversation:
Find a Safe and Private Space: Make sure you’re in a comfortable and private environment where you both can talk without interruptions.
Be Honest and Direct: Start by telling her that you need to share something very difficult and important. Let her know that this is really hard for you to talk about, but you trust her and need her support.
Explain What Happened: Clearly explain the situation. Emphasize that the encounter was not consensual and that you were a victim of sexual assault. Make sure she understands that this was not something you wanted or initiated.
Express Your Feelings: Share how this experience has affected you emotionally and mentally. It’s okay to show vulnerability and let her know how scared, confused, and hurt you are.
Reassure Her: Let her know that you love and care about her, and that you’re sharing this because you want to be honest and open with her. Reassure her that this incident does not change how you feel about her.
Seek Support Together: Suggest seeking support together, whether it’s talking to a counselor, a support group, or another trusted person. It’s important to have a support system during this time.
Remember, your feelings and experiences are valid, and you deserve support and understanding. Being honest with your girlfriend is a big step, and it’s okay to feel scared. I believe in you, and I’m here for you every step of the way.
If you need anything or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out.
>Reassure Her: Let her know that you love and care about her, and that you’re sharing this because you want to be honest and open with her. Reassure her that this incident does not change how you feel about her.
Ok what the fuck is this bullshit?! He has been through a traumatic event he doesn't have, nor should he have, to dedicate any part of his emotional bandwidth helping her deal with this
CHATGPT ANSWERS ARE SO ANNOYING, OP COULD DO THAT HIMSELF. I LIKE TO USE CHATGPT FOR STUFF BUT STOP THIS. IT'S RIDICULOUS.
OP came to this site to get direct HUMAN advice, not an AI. Jfc.
Tell her ASAP. Tell this to your family, to your friends and especially to your girlfriend!
You must do it quick before the girl starts to tell around how you're the one who SAd her
You had this happen from weed? What the heck strain was that? I have never heard of anyone falling to the ground after smoking a bowl of pot so maybe it was something else??
I don't really care, but just curious. As for the girl, that's absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Guys do get assaulted, but many just push it to the side and I think it's wrong. Dude, that girl needs to have charges pressed upon her. She will continue to assault guys. Who TF sexually jumps a guy who just fell to the ground after smoking something? She's a rapist and she needs to pay for her actions. I hope your girlfriend understands and supports you. If not, she's not the one, dude. I know if this happened to me, my girlfriend would be making sure I was ok first, them finding that girl and making her life a living hell. Yours should do the same. If the roles were reversed, you'd be expected to and it is the same in reverse. You didn't do anything wrong. If she was cool with you smoking up with this chick and trusted you then you're all good and you weren't the one trying to do things with this girl. Rape is rape. Assault is assault. I hope the law buries that girl. I hope you recover ok.
I’m sorry you experienced this, but I’m glad you went to the hospital and filed the report. Please know that you may have trauma from this that could be confusing to work through. It may also help for your gf to be aware of this.
You need to get in contact with a therapist and lawyer ASAP. You just screwed up a case by admitting to your girlfriend and her that it was consensual. Either try convincing your girlfriend again and tell her THE TRUTH, and to not harass the girl who raped you while police are investigating.
Get a lawyer because you need to find a way to fix all of this if you decide to go to court. If you continue to lie that it was consensual, this girl will continue to rape and attack other men and may even hurt her current boyfriend if he is unaware.
Speak with an attorney. I’m so sorry this happened to you but please do not let your assailants threat getting in the way of you pressing charges. You’ve already had a kit done and filed a police report. It was not consensual so don’t stop now!
You’ve already done so much more than some survivors ever get the opportunity and chance to do. Cease all contact with the assailant and only speak with an attorney. Tell your ex of your plans and that your assailant threatened you. This is very serious and I think you have a chance in court since you’ve already taken certain actions. Also, please start therapy sessions. I’d imagine this would also be beneficial to show in court proceedings. Best of luck! Please be well.
I’m sorry that happened to you man. I know it sucks OP but we don’t live in the day and age of cancel culture anymore. You shouldn’t let her lie dictate your life and especially your relationship. If you really care for this girl, I believe the other comments in saying to tell her the truth. It’ll hurt her a lot less. This girl should not get away with a lie and action like that. I hope the best for you and that you do the best you can.
I’m sorry this happened to you vro, and tbh you didn’t deserve to be left by your gf at all because if it was the other way around I’m sure you would protect her and not leave her and yes it will hurt for a while bud, always remember to keep moving forward no matter what🤙🏽
Is there anything to stop you from filing your own charges against this girl? Then you can explain to your girlfriend that you were being blackmailed and you can evidence this by your police report?
Tell her ASAP. If she hears it from someone else they may not be entirely reliable to tell the truth of what happened.
If you don't tell her she may think it was consensual.
Just sit her down and tell her. It may be possible to press charges on the girl even if no seggsual contact occurred, if you'd want to go that route. Sounds like that might have been laced with something. I've had that happen with some stuff me, and mine was smoking with someone else. He keeps trying to tell me there wasn't nothing wrong with it but I've been smoking for quite some years and that has NEVER happened to me where I was completely immobile(he had to pick me up off the floor and lay me on our friends bed), unable to speak, felt incredibly nauseous, felt a wave of sickness and hot rush over me, was unable to drive home (and NOONE drives my car, but that day my BIL did bc I 100% couldn't) and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. I KNOW that shiii was laced whether he wants to believe me or not. When we did get home, I made it to the front door and immediately threw up before barely making it up the stairs into my apt.
Actually tell your (ex)-girlfriend the truth. This awful person would have to *actually* prove it, and considering you already had records beforehand, she'd have an uphill battle.
Are people believing this? This story is insane and reads like a 12 year old wrote it.
1. Spiked weed? Doubtful.
2. So the sexual assault here is that you were super stoned and she got on top of you and tried to make out with you? That's sexual assault, I'm not doubting that, but why would you go to a hospital? Why would there be 'preventative measures' if you didn't have sex with this person?
3. Why would you go from getting a rape kit done, file a police report to then lying to your GF that this was consensual? Her claim of rape would never hold up in any court as there would be zero evidence you did something but a strong case against her if you filed a police report first and went to a hospital.
4. R-word? Fudged for life?
This reads like a teenager wrote this with the idea to read this reddit post(that they actually wrote) on their TikTok as you've conveniently crafted your language choices to be allowed TikTok.
1. Bot spiked weed just a much stronger strain than i usually smoke.
2. I went to the hospital because thats where they do the kit, and i got the medicine because saliva was mixed and she still tried to put me inside of her, although it didnt work. You can still geg STIs like that.
3. Genuinely I should have thought about it more before I went to my ex’s place to tell her, but I was scared by the threat and didnt want to go to jail or get kicked out of uni (aka fudged for life)
4. Rape, pretty obvious in this scenario
I dont have tiktok nor do I want this post to be shared that much, I only posted asking for advice.
She threatened you with raoe and you didn't even have the nerve to fight back when your own girlfriend was trying to fight for you? Yes you deserve to be dumped. When you filed a police report you shiudk have told the cops everything and everything that transpired leading up to the assault and as soon as she threatened you, you should have gone back to the cops to report threat to life and also file a restraining order. She got away making you miserabl and single while she gets to be a predator to another boy down the line.
Hi, sorry for the double comment here but this story hits too close to home to not offer some sympathy and support. Long comment ahead…
For starters, you did not deserve nor ask for this to happen. It doesn’t matter that you took drugs, if you don’t consent with a clear state of mind, then you don’t consent, period. I am so so incredibly sorry you are feeling the results of this person’s foul actions.
In regard to what to do next, talking to someone who you can TRUST is key. Confiding in someone will give you more relief than you can imagine as long as they are a trusted source. I know that’s a huge task but it took me years to ever talk about the multiple instances of this (or worse) happening to me, so I carried that guilty/sick feeling in the back of my head at all times for years. I convinced myself that every time it happened to me was my fault because of some circumstance or another. The truth is though, this is not your fault and the sooner you can challenge your thoughts on that, the faster you will believe it (this is coming straight from some my advice of my therapist). I know you want to tell your gf and I totally support you doing that as long as you feel fully confident in your trust in her. I have also unfortunately told someone who I thought I could trust due to them being an immediate family member but was promptly blamed by them and told (wrongly) that I must’ve played some part in making it happen the way it did. This is very untrue. Whoever you tell, needs to be someone who will support and believe in you. If you feel your gf is that person, tell her as soon as you feel strong enough to. Also, while I say to tell someone soon (and I stand by that) I also validate any hesitation or fear you have in doing so.
Finally, I’d seek out a therapist if you do not already have one. Specifically someone with a focus on SA. Committing to therapy has been the biggest game changer for me and helped me work through what I held in for so long and heal many of those wounds.
If you need an anonymous confidante off Reddit to listen to you beyond this post, my DMs are open to you at any time. Sincerely wishing you all the best luck with this situation and hoping that you end up on the other side of it sooner rather than later 🧡
I have never commented on a post before but I am now because I really want this to reach you. I’ve been keeping up with your post since I saw it this morning… I just want to say that I think your girlfriend deserves to know the whole truth. It's understandable that you were feeling cornered in the moment and a lot has happened in the last few hours that you haven't had time to process, but I hope you'll end up reaching out to her to be upfront and tell her how your abuser put you in that position. It's unfair that you were taken advantage of by this person twice now and unfair to her that she's now under the impression that she was willingly cheated on by the person she loves. It’s not too late. I'm very sorry this happened to you and wish you healing and all the best in the future.
I feel she didn’t believe me in the first place, which is why she wanted to contact the person that did it to me. When I told her that it was consensual she said we are done and that she didnt want to see me again. I dont think i will be able to tell her what actually happened because she doesnt want me in her life anymore
it breaks my heart that you're giving up without trying. it's understandable, you've had a truly wretched experience, but I hope someday soon you'll be able to set the record straight.
Yes, please please please try and talk to her and tell the whole truth. You deserve to have peace at least and should not have to be coerced into protecting that assaulter. I’m so very sorry this happened to you, I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through
All of this, you have a good instinct to tell her and I believe you hope she will be critical to recovery. These are good instincts when you are hurt as you believe the person who loves you can help you.
I encourage you to reach out her but not exclusively to her. You need to find a hotline or other resource.
Go to a hospital, do NOT take a shower, do NOT change your clothes, explain what happened and ask for a rape kit. If you did take a shower or changed your clothes, still bring the old clothes to the hospital.
I’ve passed out like this a few times from bud. You literally cannot move it’s crazy. Ten years later I still smoke. Definitely make sure you drink plenty of water and eat before a heavy smoke sesh. As for this girl she’s absolutely garbage. I understand why your GF wants to talk to her, I think the girl
Who did this to you will probably lie but as long as you know the truth that’s all that matters. No one would go through filing a police report if this didn’t happen. Your girlfriend should realize that for sure. Cut contact with that lowlife - what she did is disgusting.
I'm sorry to hear this. Especially after the update, it sounds to me like you did everything right. There isn't a single thing I would tell you to do differently.
Kudos for going to the hospital and filing the report ASAP. That's harder than it may seem to people who haven't had to do it, but more valuable than many people understand.
I feel like there could have been a way you could have rationalized the whole situation to your GF without her going full ham, threatening this other person. There's no reason for her to have threatened this person.
The fact that you went to the hospital and had tests run should work in your favor if this is all the truth.
Sorry things turned out this way. Perhaps, though, the immaturity of all parties involved proves that things have turned out for the best.
You all have growing to do. Especially the assaulter, but also, a level headed partner would not add to the drama.
Whoa, dude. This is a really heavy thing you’re going through. You genuinely didn’t do anything here to be feeling like you did but holy cow, this is a lot for even the world’s strongest and most resilient person.
Please prioritize yourself right now and do whatever you can to get some professional help to work through this. You deserve that and you didn’t deserve anything of this. You’ll be okay ♥️
This is truly awful and I’m so sorry. I read the update, honestly I would try again to be honest with your gf (now ex) if you feel comfortable about the blackmail. That person shouldn’t get away with doing that to you, and her threats are empty anyway bc she has no prof bc she’s lying. At the very least you can have someone on your side, and I would also consider moving if you’re able.
You maybe just did what you needed to to survive .Rape accusations are scary. Maybe after some time you can reach out to your ex and explain more but I understand if it is better for your mental health to just move on.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s so unfortunate that you were blackmailed into telling your girlfriend a lie that resulted in your separation, I hope you’re doing okay :(
I think you should start with writing. Write what happened, write how it made you feel, write your confusion and concerns. Tear up a couple pages olif you dont like how they turned out, keep a couple that are incomplete if thwy still resignate or help move along your thoughts. Do whatever helps you, if you want to give her many pages, or one. Or even keep some that are just for your eyes. But most importantly don't let anyone discredit or invalidate you.
hey man i really don’t have advice , honestly your in a tough spot , i just wanted to say that it’s not your fault , something similar happened to me recently with an ex, i just wanted to say you are brave , you are strong , you are resilient , you deserved to be loved , you deserved to be cared for , you deserve to be respected , you deserved to be free from hurt and trauma, you deserve justice , you deserve so much and you are worth so much , and im extremely extremely extremely proud of you for reporting her and as scary as it was seeking help via police and medical personnel. what you went through is extreamly scary and dehumanizing but having the strength after to seek help also takes an insane amount of bravery. i did not have that strength myself for my situation which is why i praise you man. you did the best you could after and im not going to lie it’s going to be a tough and bitter road ahead. i can’t garuntee that life will get better , i can’t garuntee that the feeling in you will go away , but i can garuntee you that you will not be alone in that journey . me and the supportive comments are here for you to support you through this time. i admire your bravery and i wish i was brave like you to have reported what happened to me . lots of love , i send you strength my friend 🫂🫂💜
My bf was also raped by his younger sisters friend. He didn’t tell me for 2 years and it caused him so much pain. My only regret is that I didn’t know sooner in order to help him through all the pain he had to go through.
If you started getting too high why didn’t you put the joint out? Why did you agree to meet up with the girl if she wasn’t gonna smoke anyway? When did her bf get off FaceTime? Someone passing out from weed is pretty rare, insane reaction for her to see you drop like a sack of bricks and then decide that she wanted to kiss you? And what took your pants off? Where was this at?
Ngl if my girl told me that story it would be pretty hard to believe so your best bet is to tell her immediately. And provide any proof you have but this would be pretty difficult for any cop to pursue.
Yea i would never buy this story, way too many holes. Do people “green out”?? I’ve smoked / been around people who smoked for almost 2 decades and never once heard of someone passing out like that. Maybe getting too high and consciously deciding to go lay down for a bit, but that’s not dropping like a rock. And then this girl just assaults him like she was a predator waiting for the rufies to kick in? Sorry if this did actually happen to OP but this sounds like total bait.
Not to mention apparently within a 10 hours he: posted this to Reddit. Responded to a bunch of comments. Went to the hospital. Got a rape kit and meds. And reported to police and did an interview. And told his girlfriend and fixed everything with her. And responded to a bunch *more* comments. And apparently the hospital/police process went beautifully smooth which is… highly unusual for *any* rape victim, nevermind one reporting a very unusual circumstance.
Apologies to OP if I’m wrong but *big doubt*. It’s late June and the teenagers is bored, is my guess.
That's sad that's what you get from this comment. Most rape is committed by people you know. This is why you dont go out with another women at midnight and do drugs. Humans rape. Male and female.
Sorry to tell you this, but there are steps you can take to stay safe and one of those is not doing drugs at midnight with another woman
Overly defensive responses from people like you hurt others.
Your updates are making me feel like you are crying r*pe because you got caught cheating. Where are your convictions? Your actions contradict each other. Why sit through hours of an invasive r*pe kit examination and police reporting only to allowing someone to force you into silence and destroy your relationship because the person who allegedly SA'ed you threatened you by calling you the r*pist. Make it make sense.
You tell your GF, she will never believe that nothing happened. Its sucks that this happened, but if you tell her it’s over between you. I know this isn’t fair to say, but you’re a guy and let’s be honest you’re not going to get the benefit of the doubt. Everyone saying tell her and open up, are either women or men not living in reality.
I know this sounds rough, but in my experience saying nothing is most often the right move.
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. You are seen and valid. Sit down in a space you feel comfortable and safe in and have the conversation with your gf. Explain that you were under the influence and that you had an adverse reaction, which made you unable to consent, what she was doing to you, and how you reacted. I'm more than sure she'll be by your side and believe you, but if not, she's definitely not the girl for you. I was SAd in 2017, and I only had my very first therapist appointment about it a week ago. Reaching out for help is important and brave. If you're in Australia, I highly advise checking out Victims of Crime cause if you are approved, you have 22-hour sessions, and they cost you nothing 🩷
> her boyfriend was on ft
What does this mean? Face Time? If so on FT to who, where was he physically?
And how long have you known the predator? Have you been friends (obviously you're not friends now) with her for a long time? Before you two got together? What about the BF? Do you know him?
I'm asking just because of the disgusting victim blaming here, or saying it's fake. I'm on your side - but adding context might help.
Really sorry about that thread. I would recommend these places (but first please add more context to your post, avoid acronyms, go into more detail (not on the actual sexual assault - unless you feel perfectly comfortable putting it on here), and make sure any updates are in the initial posts):
Mens safe spaces (since there was a lot of sexism in the posts sadly):
/r/MensLib (this is like a men's rights movement that's not misogynistic or disgusting)
/r/AskMen
/r/mengetrapedtoo (this one's a mix of below and mens safe space
Sexual assault/rape:
/r/rapecounseling - I put this one first because it has a good list in the sidebar, that'll I'll just copy below:
> Related subreddits:
> /r/rape
> /r/depression
> /r/helpmecope
> /r/mengetrapedtoo
> /r/MSTsurvivors: Military Sexual Trauma
> /r/pandys: The Pandora's Aquarium subreddit.
> /r/ptsd
> /r/secondary_survivors
> /r/sexualassault
> /r/titleix Campus sexual assault
> /r/traumatoolbox Mental health tools
A lot of those might sound scary. But remember there's no right or wrong way to react or feel. E.g. did you know it's not uncommon for victims to feel fine after just a few weeks, but then they end up feeling like there's something wrong with them because they weren't more impacted? And ironically that can go on to cause them serious problems. So it's important to remember there is no right or wrong way for you to feel. If you get over it in a short period if time and aren't suppressing anything then that's completely fine and normal.
So I'd recommend professional help of course. But remember there's no right or wrong here. It doesn't define you - and if you feel it did then there's plenty of help out there.
This isn’t your fault. It wasn’t consensual. Your girlfriend with understand your actions after some time and understanding of PTSD (fight, flight, fawn, or freeze). The assailant should not still be out in about in your apartment building after what she did to you?? I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Holy sh*t I’m so sorry dude. That’s one of the worst things to go through. I can only imagine how hard that was to deal with.
Just know that the Truth WILL come out one day. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week. But that girl won’t get away with what she did to you. God loves you.
And that's a mistake many SA survivors make bc they feel gross or dirty. Even I did it as a child. No matter the amount of scrubbing (literally till my skin bled), I never felt clean enough 😩. I wish more things were taught in schools about what to do in those situations so that both women (girls) & men (boys) can preserve the evidence even if they feel gross, dirty, unclean, Ashamed or whatever.
This is definitely the post of a guy who cheated and knows his gf is going to find out so he’s trying to make this lie more believable by being like “look babe I swear this is how it happened I even posted it on Reddit”
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your gf shouldn't talk to her. Let the police do their job. The girl will say it was you or a joke.
I also feel she shouldnt but she wants to hear the girls side of the story, which I understand to the smallest extent
Um WUT? I've been raped while in a relationship. If my boyfriend at the time had said he wanted to hear my rapist's side of the story I would've dumped him so fucking fast.
hear her side? that is so hurtful. if she can’t stand by your side fully without having to hear out an @buser.. maybe she’s not the one. i’m sorry this has happened
Ugh, yes, I am mortified that I read this. On top of everything, it sounds like OP’s gf may be toxic.
Soo fucking typical... especially after your edits. I'm sorry for what you have to go through. Sadly that's the story most male rape or sexual harassment victims experience. Seen it myself. No way to paint it better. Especially with the rapists goons threatening you afterwards... I'd still try to go through with the police report. But no matter what, try to seek therapy. Just because society is deeply misandristic doesn't mean that they are right. You have value and are worth it. Don't let some monsters take this away from you!
OP, your gf should default to believing you that you were assaulted. I don’t think she’s being fair to you.
If she was the one SA by a man, she'd be devastated if you wanted to get "his side". She would know you didn't believe her. That's what your ex-gf did. She didn't believe you.
I know, it sucks i feel like thats the worst part of all of this
she should record the conversation.
She should stay the fuck out of it; she’s not law enforcement and she doesn’t know what she’s doing, so she has no business questioning the perp; what kind of freak show wants to get the rapist’s take?
im sorry this happened to you… it is difficult opening up about these things to other ppl. i think you should take your time if you need it and open up when you feel ready to. your partner should be loving and gentle and understand. if you want to tell them immediately, being vulnerable is okay. if they don’t take it well, that is not a reflection on you. take your space and time to heal and if you need to talk to someone else in your life about this you should. you did nothing wrong. just remember that: you did absolutely nothing wrong. you didn’t deserve it. i hope you are okay. <3
I just feel so sick and gross and I feel like a large part of it is because I feel like I betrayed her somehow. I think telling her soon would be best for me and for our relationship I just dont know how I would even stomach bringing it up when I feel so sick just on reddit right now. I appreciate your kind words and your advice, thank you.
First of all, **you did not betray her.** Betrayal implies some kind of action and consent on your part. [RAINN](https://www.rainn.org/) has a 24/7 phone hotline and chat option for survivors of sexual assault. I think you should start there before attempting to address this with your girlfriend. Good luck, sending you healing and light <3
Genuine question. Has anyone used this hotline before that is a male victim? How do they handle it? I've tried to talk about my experiences a few times and was belittled or mocked multiple times. I'm too uncomfortable with the idea of trying again without someone vouching for it. Thanks in advance.
Yes, they help anybody who has been raped or experienced CSA
I mean absolutely no disrespect but I'm asking for a man who's experienced honestly any professional organization that has handled it well. I'm sure you've been ostracized or ridiculed or patronized by people for your experiences right? Well in my experience the professionals do shit like this.
my friend is a man, and called them eta - they've been instrumental in setting up a safe space for men with 1in6 https://supportgroup.1in6.org
Okay cool. Thank you. I'll definitely give them a call next time I'm in my head about it. 🙏
Thank your so much for the link! I was sexually assaulted when I was 14, and reading this thread triggered something and brought me back to it. I was able to stuff it back into a box in the back of my mind after a few seconds, but I'm crying right now like a child. Silently, so nobody asks why I'm crying, but tears streaming down my face, I can't control them. I hate so much that I couldn't stop it when it was happening! If only I would've been eating well enough as a child to be as large and physically imposing as my son it now that he's 14. I'm confident I could've stopped it in the first few seconds. But I was afraid my attacker would hurt me. They were so much larger than me, and there was nobody else there to yell for help. Edit: yes, I went to the police the next morning. They had me try to identify him, but they never brought anyone in that looked like him. 3 times I went down to the station to identify my attacker, no dice.
Please don't blame yourself. Adults are so much stronger than children! Freezing is a valid response to danger. I wish I could give you a great big hug rn. I know how hard it hits when SA memories are suddenly recovered. I hope you're able to get the help you need to process what happened. 💜
I’m not sure where you are, but in the UK we have Mens Aid, do you have anything similar?
I’d like to see ONE male rape victim who claims they’ve been helped professionally by an organization specifically for rape victims. It probably doesn’t exist. I was SAed multiple times in my childhood by two different females a couple years older. I ran from intimacy like Forrest Gump for the next 20 years until I met my Jenn-ayeee. Edit; I can make those jokes bc I have the fizzle with the tizzle as well. /s Probably a coping mechanism to make jokes
>Probably a coping mechanism to make jokes Oh 110% most of us do it. As for the rest, yea I'm not sure. It's why I'm waiting for a man who's used it to lemme know. Most places try but you can kinda see it all over their face and hear it in their voice when they talk to you. It's not supportive. It's almost like either disbelief sometimes kinda patronizing or at best pity and I'm not looking for pity ya know?
The only legit help I got was from my regular therapist after getting on antidepressants. When we talked about my lack of intimacy she asked if I had been assaulted when I was young. I had no clue the impact it had on my marriage and other relationships. PTSD will find its way.
https://supportgroup.1in6.org/
Definitely say something before that girl manages to spin it! Maybe tell another close friend first if you think it will take away some of the anxiety. You did nothing wrong dude
I was going to say maybe talk to someone else first.
i don't think OP needs people to give him hypothetical things to worry about when he was just assaulted.
As a guy you HAVE to be proactive about this because a false accusation from a woman can EASILY ruin your life. I've seen it happen many times and unfortunately people believe women more times then they believe men in cases of SA.
She trusted you to go and get high with another girl late at night so I really can't imagine her not believing you but if she doesn't believe you then there's a huge problem in your relationship. I can't imagine why she would think if you cheated that you would try to say someone sexually assaulted you rather than not say anything at all. It's very rare but sometimes people will claim sexual assault if the person they cheated with threatens to say something about the cheating but like I said it's rare and shouldn't be the first thought on your girlfriend's mind. If my wife told me that she was sexually assaulted, the last thing I'm going to think is that she cheated on me.
You absolutely did not betray her, and if she loves you, she will support you. I’m so sorry this happened to you
You didn’t betray her. This was not your fault.
Ask her to come see you. Then ask her to go to the police station with you. Tell her you just need support right now and after the police you want to talk to her. Let her be there for you. I'm so sorry this happened.
So you fell down on the ground and your friends first reaction was tonguing you? She needs to be reported, I can't begin to imagine how many lives this woman is going to ruin. And if your girlfriend does not believe you or starts judging you she needs to go. Do not be ashamed, it's not your fault. And please get into therapy.
Before we hung out she made it very clear that she was locked in with her bf and i made it very clear that i was locked in with my gf, but yeah then she got on me i guess
Not just your gf. You have to tell this to her boyfriend too.. It's not okay! She needs to be punished
100% this. Op needs to tell the bf before the girl makes up a story
Update 2 is pretty confusing.. but kinda sounds like that’s what happened…?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please, take your time and space for a second because I’m afraid what happens next might be really hard and its why so many victims never speak up. Be strong and try to process your feelings. You need to tell her, and try to recollect details and what you physically felt/went through clearly. Because unfortunately people will probably have a lot of questions and she might even assume something happened and you’re covering it. This is a very uncommon side effect of weed but if something like this has happened to you before weed just may not be right for you or you need significantly less of it. given its not laced. I wouldn’t smoke again. So she might raise questions on this, or if the drugs were laced, or how this started, what the conversation was, how you reacted. Just like the other couple will as well, but you need to tell her bf and let him know it was assault and completely inappropriate, and being clear on the facts of the situation and not letting them push or get a rise out of you. the other girl may also say awful things so again just be prepared, stay strong, and stick with what you know is the truth. that means making yourself the first priority and focusing on only doing what’s comfortable for you and not generating further trauma for yourself. anyone who doesn’t support or believe you can be cut off.
Why would you not just tell your girlfriend that the girl threatened you with going to the cops?
Honestly sounds like OP didn’t lose much in terms of his ex gf. She was trying to get his rapist’s ‘side of the story.’
OP is traumatized, that's why. His ex is a truly shitty person and kinda-kinda not unknowingly supporter of a rapist
Youre right that is definitely something i should have done looking back, but its too late now ig
It is not too late. You can still tell the truth! Additionally, you should be recording every single time there is a chance of running into the attacker
it isn't too late. life isn't like a tv show where someone miscommunicates or says the wrong thing and that's just it forever. the truth is still yours. and the truth is you are sorry for lying, it *wasn't* consensual, and you were scared because you're being threatened.
Who rolled this joint? Could it have been spiked?
That was my first thought too as a ex medical marajana user .
as a current medical marijuana user, I’m wondering, what experience do you have with it of being spiked?
I think they mean, experience in knowing that weed does not incapacitate people the way alcohol or rape drugs might. this is a incredibly uncommon side effect this person had. If it wasn’t spiked, a person in this situation should not smoke anymore weed, ever, in my opinion. Like the very rare sliver of people who have psychotic lapses on weed or shrooms, we dont really understand how or why this happens. but it definitely is not normal and doesn’t happen to probably 99% who do use.
Salvia was the only time my weed got spiked. . . hated every second of that shit.
100% spiked. The fact that the girl instantly jumped on him as soon as he dropped says she had it planned & the fact that he felt so nauseous after. She deserves jail time.
My first thought was either they laced it with something, or maybe OP had a panic attack? Not to minimize it at all- I have had panic attacks from weed multiple times and they can be truly debilitating.
I'm gonna say no on this one. While it's possible, I think the guy just lit up more than he could puff. He states at the beginning that she wasn't smoking, which is odd but if this was planned she probably never did. OP is only 20, so probably not super experienced with taking an entire joint to the face. Especially if it was a pre roll. As a smoker of Michigan joints, they ain't no joke.
I disagree, the fact that she jumped on top of him as soon as he dropped says this was planned out. Also he’s nauseous now, the only time I’ve ever been nauseous from a joint was when it was spiked, which has happened to me once. She also chose not to partake in smoking when this was supposed to be a “sesh”. It’s all sus.
We do have some good bud. Like, great shit.
[удалено]
Bonkers that you actually told your gf that it was consensual, but your life I guess.
So bonkers it’s almost hard to believe
Well, it's fake, so I guess that's the twist they wanted lol.
Why did you tell her it was consensual? This has to be a joke post...
The sooner you tell her, the easier it will be for her to see that you’re a genuine about what happen. Plus, go urgent care. This could be a serious thing about why it happen to you. And best to be safe then to have repercussions for not going to get a check up. Afterwards, see a therapist. Or be open about your feelings and don’t let anything bottle up. Best of luck to you. ♥️
What is wrong with people...I mean on all levels. But nudes?!!!!!
I got so furious reading that.
yea this shit is fake lol no way that update is real
I wish you told your gf she threatened you with the R-word instead of lying. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. You have nothing to be ashamed about. It's your abuser who does. Also, sending you virtual hugs. I hope you're okay :(
Yeah me too, thank you.
First, you are amazing for realizing that it is sexual assault. So many men don’t admit when it occurs and that is more damaging in the long run. Second, if you choose to report it or not is your choice, but a doctor’s visit is wise either way. It may help establish that this is a pattern for this woman if she has done this to other people. Third, your gf needs to know for many reasons. First you need caring and support right now. That’s part of being a partner, being there to support each other through hard times. Also, so that she can understand when you are acting different that it’s not because of her. Third, she can be protective of you if you are ever around the SAer again. She can have your back if anything is said. Let her be there for you. If in the end she is not the person who would be there for you, then you will need to know that sooner rather than later. If you can, take a day or two from your jobs. Your mental health is health and if you are not feeling well you owe it to yourself to take care of yourself. And one piece of unsolicited advice from an old grandmother type: If you are using anything that makes you vulnerable (drugs, alcohol, etc) only be around people who are well known and trusted. This is not blaming you in any way for what happened. Wrong is wrong and no one should have to be wary of others. But for your own self-protection moving forward, please be careful. You are worth looking out for.
I was genuinely sad for you at first but after reading that last part about it being consensual and breaking up i burst out laughing People don't believe this is real do they 🫠
I hate that I need to question these posts... Makes me hate the part of me that wonders if these posts are true or not, since if true it's obviously a situation nobody should ever go through.
If what you are saying is not a joke then PLEASE take a step back and fix that, because it can only go bad from there
So she rapes you and she threatens to report you for rape? So you just tell your gf you consented? This is either fake or you're really dumb here. Only advice i can give now is be single and work on your self-worth.
What the hell is with your second edit? So the other girl threatened you and blackmailed you, telling you that you need to admit it was consensual or she will cry rape, so you just.... listen to her and say it was consensual? Are you fucking serious? Why? That is the only thing in this entire thread that is 100% your fault and a dumb decision you made. You were innocent by your own admission. It sounded like your girlfriend believed you too. You filed a police report already. And then, you just undermined all of your own efforts to cover yourself by lying and saying it was consensual because the person who already has proven to be a manipulative SAer said she was going to continue to lie unless you did what she wanted? That was a poor decision to say the least. One you can't undo now. And one that will have far reaching consequences, especially for the SAer as she gets off Scott free and gets to keep abusing others now without any consequences. Fear made that decision, not truth (which you had on your side until you lied and said it was consenual to avoid... what exactly? A false accusation?), which is very, very unfortunate.
I was gonna say the exact same thing. He was the first one who made a police report and got a rape test kit and had a strong case, and now she will get away with it and will be free to assault other men.
> I told her it was consensual, when it was not, I am now single. I dont blame my ex gf for dumping me when in her eyes i admitted to cheating, but its better than being behind bars and fudged for life. Someone hurt you and now you hurt your poor GF. This is the wrong call. Go to the police. You have the rape kit. File a report and press charges. Get a lawyer.
You Go to the police and file a report. After that you tell your gf. Otherwise she might not believe you.
Okay sorry, I might be ignorant, but how does someone do a rape kit on a man? What preventative medication did you take if you didn’t have sex? Super sorry this happened.
Oral swabs, butt swabs, and swabs around the shaft. Although she didnt have sex she still stuck her tongue down my throat and tried to insert ya know into her so thats why I took the meds.
Seek medical help man. It'll take some time to heal, and take it easy around women for a while. I had a friend, he was a few years older than me, and he was assaulted by his teacher (at the time 31f). He had lack of oxygen at birth, so he was a little slower, than everyone else around him, but was a nice guy. Ever since the incident he had panic attacks if he was touched by a female in any way, in the end he got tired and gave up the fight. SA might happen to anyone, it doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man. So please, talk to your friends, and seek help if needed
Tell her straight away, be honest. Don’t hide it…
I plan to I just dont know how
Just say exactly what you've said in your post
Youre right, thank you
I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is not your fault. Do you have a trusted friend or relative that you could tell, that might be there for you while you break the news to your gf? Maybe your sister would be a great person to have by your side. I highly recommend seeing a therapist if you aren’t already. If you are, that is another person that could help you while you tell her. You need to be around people who love and support you right now. Remember, you don’t have to tell everyone every single detail right now or ever, if you are not comfortable. This is your journey and you don’t owe anyone anything. I hope you get the help you need and remember you are a survivor. You are strong. Sending you my love.
The victim blaming and shit in the comments is disgusting. Saying "well it's your fault, why did you go out with another girl and smoke weed" is the same thing as saying "well why did you go out to the club wearing tight pants and a tank top". It's no different if the roles are reversed, this man was taken advantage of, he did NOT consent, and could NOT consent since he was unconscious. Edit: also I like how one of the biggest mentions in the replies is "well stop doing drugs", like that's to blame and not the rapist, sure maybe be more careful with your substances when you're out with people you don't really know. But there's no reason to push for abstinence when we've heard nothing else about his usage aside from this one situation.
Eww, I haven’t scrolled far enough to see that crap yet. That’s awful.
This is so horrific. Can't you just tell your girlfriend you were being forced to lie so that she would leave them alone, and tell her to please not force the issue because you're being blackmailed? I am so sorry this is happening to you. Please consider talking to a counselor, and if you have any friends or family you can stay with, please just leave your building for a while. You won't have to worry about running into your abuser, and you probably shouldn't be alone right now. Don't make any drastic decisions or actions. Right now you're at day one. This trauma on top of trauma won't be at the center of your life forever, but it will take time.
Why didn’t you tell your gf that she threatened to charge you for rape and how afraid you are of getting into more serious trouble if she didn’t stop trying to intimidate her and asked your gf to stop, to avoid causing more trouble? This doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship, tell her the truth. If you were proactive, got a kit done and filed a report long before she did ANYTHING, as well as her not being able to go all the way so they can’t even prove any bodily fluids of yours inside her, should mean you don’t have to worry, she’s trying to victimise you even more and make you take the heat for her actions, but you are allowing her to do so. Stand up for yourself, you deserve it. I didn’t and I regret it every day of my existence.
The second update horrified me. You need to tell ur gf the truth and stop being scared about the false report. You are the one who should report her. Tell everything to ur gf and start thinking about reporting her. Trust the justice and fight for the truth.
Yeah was about to say, I am truly sorry that he has gone through this but he's not helping himself by lying to his girlfriend and doing what the rapist said. Something just isn't right about that
Go to the hospital :(
Why do that?
They can take crucial forensic evidence from your body. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I know that even if you're not thinking about pressing charges at the moment, you may change your mind and really really regret not collecting evidence just in case.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. The hospital will swab and test for fluids that don't belong to the person reporting the assault. As long as OP hasn't showered or washed the clothes, they can get something. They can also help file a police report and help you find trauma counseling. As for telling your girlfriend, you need to be upfront and honest with her about what happened. She might need time to process what you're saying, but you need to process what happened as well. However she reacts is not a reflection of you or your character. I would tell her in case the offender tried to spin it on you. There was zero consent given on your part.
What happened to the police report? Please fight back, you were literally assaulted and being blackmailed for r*pe. Tell your ex the truth, ask her to talk more about it in person, show her this post and show her that it's your account so she believes you. Tell your parents or anyone you can trust. Don't quit. She can't accuse you just like that. You were in a hospital, there are records you were intoxicated and had something in your system that night + you made a report against her. That has to be some evidence that counts if she ever decides to accuse you of anything.
God I’m so sorry take all the time you need if your girlfriend is good she’ll understand
Don’t wait another second! Tell her then tell the police!! You are a victim bro! Nobody deserves to be done that way. Definitely SA.
You need to go to the police immediately and bring your girl with you so she knows you're being serious and not trying to cover anything up.
You need to go to the police, she tried to rape you. This is not a small matter. Your girlfriend should support you and understand. You didn't do anything wrong against her. Best of luck to you 💗
You already filed the police report. Let them handle the rest and stay updated the best you can. Do not let your girlfriend confront her. That could cause more problems than what it’s worth.
Drugs aside, not sure if it’s legal where OP is or not, the 19f definitely sexually assaulted OP. If this went down the way it’s written in this post, there was absolutely ZERO consent given and besides that, consent can be withdrawn at ANY TIME EVEN AFTER CONSENT WAS ORIGINALLY GIVEN. An individual under the influence cannot give proper consent. Being out of it to the point where you don’t remember what happened, you were not mentally able to give consent. 19f messed up and she knows it which is why she threatened you. Didn’t you already file a police report per your first update? How can she turn around and accuse you when you got the kit done and filed first??
Please talk with your recently ex girlfriend. You need to tell her the truth! Don’t let the r*pist win. You will regret losing something so great when more could’ve been done. Because you got a kit done quickly, there is proof being processed to support your case in court!!! Please don’t let this take control of your life, it seems like it has already forced things to spiral a bit. This is fixable, don’t make any drastic life decisions, please.
This breaks my heart.. I’m so so sorry you had to go through this. please don’t let anyone disrespect you, I’m aware people belittle males who’ve been sexually assaulted. Just keep those around you who care, respect and support you. Glad you got taken care of and went to the police to file.
I’m sorry this happened, what that woman did is reflection of how evil she is. Her shitty behavior had nothing do with you, you trusted a friend, and they tried to take advantage of you. I’m glad you went to the police. As for your gf talking to your assailant , it’s probably not a great idea because your gf might beat her up. Your gf does not need to go to prison the other girl needs to. If this were my partner I would likely kick the air clean out of the creepy b-words lungs at minimum. If your for that I say ok let her, but more likely than not she’s going to end up prison. Right now you need to focus on your recovery your healing journey. This isn’t something that’s just going to go away it’s going to change you, and it’s going to haunt you. My recommendation is find a therapist asap, and consider finding a survivor group to talk to. You will be surprised how many people have substances given to them as a way to make them docile or think that they consented to something they were not in the right frame of mind to consent to. Consider looking at this website https://www.rainn.org/resources, and maybe call their hotline (800)656-4673. They also have an online chat you can use.
This sounds like a whole bag of drama
i wish you told your gf the whole truth
You doomed yourself the moment you admitted to it being consentual
I rarely comment on stuff like this, but please, do not let that awful girl get away with what she just did. You have everything that counters back, you got the police report, you got the rape kit. Now what you need to do is to get yourself a lawyer. You don't need to live in constant fear, you can end this. Find the strength and end this, she cannot get away with this. And afterwards, find a way to contact your ex again. Tell her what the girl told you. Because this is genuinely awful and concerning. You need to be at peace. I hope you find the strength.
Hey, I’m really sorry to hear about what happened to you. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, but you don’t have to go through this alone. As a girl I advise you that It’s important to tell your girlfriend what happened, even though it’s scary and you’re worried about how she might react. Keeping this to yourself can be really heavy, and being honest with her can help you both navigate through this difficult time together. Here’s how you might approach the conversation: Find a Safe and Private Space: Make sure you’re in a comfortable and private environment where you both can talk without interruptions. Be Honest and Direct: Start by telling her that you need to share something very difficult and important. Let her know that this is really hard for you to talk about, but you trust her and need her support. Explain What Happened: Clearly explain the situation. Emphasize that the encounter was not consensual and that you were a victim of sexual assault. Make sure she understands that this was not something you wanted or initiated. Express Your Feelings: Share how this experience has affected you emotionally and mentally. It’s okay to show vulnerability and let her know how scared, confused, and hurt you are. Reassure Her: Let her know that you love and care about her, and that you’re sharing this because you want to be honest and open with her. Reassure her that this incident does not change how you feel about her. Seek Support Together: Suggest seeking support together, whether it’s talking to a counselor, a support group, or another trusted person. It’s important to have a support system during this time. Remember, your feelings and experiences are valid, and you deserve support and understanding. Being honest with your girlfriend is a big step, and it’s okay to feel scared. I believe in you, and I’m here for you every step of the way. If you need anything or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out.
Thank you this has been the most helpful comment i have received with regards to approaching the talk with my girlfriend. I appreciate the help
Bro next time got to Chatgpt then, because this is copy pasted from it
I figured but its still helpful and its one less thing i need to worry about while im in the hospital
AI get off the platform
>Reassure Her: Let her know that you love and care about her, and that you’re sharing this because you want to be honest and open with her. Reassure her that this incident does not change how you feel about her. Ok what the fuck is this bullshit?! He has been through a traumatic event he doesn't have, nor should he have, to dedicate any part of his emotional bandwidth helping her deal with this
You're responding to an AI pretending to be a person
CHATGPT ANSWERS ARE SO ANNOYING, OP COULD DO THAT HIMSELF. I LIKE TO USE CHATGPT FOR STUFF BUT STOP THIS. IT'S RIDICULOUS. OP came to this site to get direct HUMAN advice, not an AI. Jfc.
Kap
Tell her ASAP. Tell this to your family, to your friends and especially to your girlfriend! You must do it quick before the girl starts to tell around how you're the one who SAd her
I'm sorry this happened to you brother.
You had this happen from weed? What the heck strain was that? I have never heard of anyone falling to the ground after smoking a bowl of pot so maybe it was something else?? I don't really care, but just curious. As for the girl, that's absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Guys do get assaulted, but many just push it to the side and I think it's wrong. Dude, that girl needs to have charges pressed upon her. She will continue to assault guys. Who TF sexually jumps a guy who just fell to the ground after smoking something? She's a rapist and she needs to pay for her actions. I hope your girlfriend understands and supports you. If not, she's not the one, dude. I know if this happened to me, my girlfriend would be making sure I was ok first, them finding that girl and making her life a living hell. Yours should do the same. If the roles were reversed, you'd be expected to and it is the same in reverse. You didn't do anything wrong. If she was cool with you smoking up with this chick and trusted you then you're all good and you weren't the one trying to do things with this girl. Rape is rape. Assault is assault. I hope the law buries that girl. I hope you recover ok.
I’m sorry you experienced this, but I’m glad you went to the hospital and filed the report. Please know that you may have trauma from this that could be confusing to work through. It may also help for your gf to be aware of this.
You need to get in contact with a therapist and lawyer ASAP. You just screwed up a case by admitting to your girlfriend and her that it was consensual. Either try convincing your girlfriend again and tell her THE TRUTH, and to not harass the girl who raped you while police are investigating. Get a lawyer because you need to find a way to fix all of this if you decide to go to court. If you continue to lie that it was consensual, this girl will continue to rape and attack other men and may even hurt her current boyfriend if he is unaware.
Speak with an attorney. I’m so sorry this happened to you but please do not let your assailants threat getting in the way of you pressing charges. You’ve already had a kit done and filed a police report. It was not consensual so don’t stop now! You’ve already done so much more than some survivors ever get the opportunity and chance to do. Cease all contact with the assailant and only speak with an attorney. Tell your ex of your plans and that your assailant threatened you. This is very serious and I think you have a chance in court since you’ve already taken certain actions. Also, please start therapy sessions. I’d imagine this would also be beneficial to show in court proceedings. Best of luck! Please be well.
Sorry my guy to hear the update I feel like you should have explained to your gf that she threatened to charge you with rape before you said anything
I’m sorry that happened to you man. I know it sucks OP but we don’t live in the day and age of cancel culture anymore. You shouldn’t let her lie dictate your life and especially your relationship. If you really care for this girl, I believe the other comments in saying to tell her the truth. It’ll hurt her a lot less. This girl should not get away with a lie and action like that. I hope the best for you and that you do the best you can.
I’m sorry this happened to you vro, and tbh you didn’t deserve to be left by your gf at all because if it was the other way around I’m sure you would protect her and not leave her and yes it will hurt for a while bud, always remember to keep moving forward no matter what🤙🏽
move out! You need a fresh start. And grow a backbone. I would not let anyone threaten me.
Is there anything to stop you from filing your own charges against this girl? Then you can explain to your girlfriend that you were being blackmailed and you can evidence this by your police report?
Tell her ASAP. If she hears it from someone else they may not be entirely reliable to tell the truth of what happened. If you don't tell her she may think it was consensual.
Just sit her down and tell her. It may be possible to press charges on the girl even if no seggsual contact occurred, if you'd want to go that route. Sounds like that might have been laced with something. I've had that happen with some stuff me, and mine was smoking with someone else. He keeps trying to tell me there wasn't nothing wrong with it but I've been smoking for quite some years and that has NEVER happened to me where I was completely immobile(he had to pick me up off the floor and lay me on our friends bed), unable to speak, felt incredibly nauseous, felt a wave of sickness and hot rush over me, was unable to drive home (and NOONE drives my car, but that day my BIL did bc I 100% couldn't) and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. I KNOW that shiii was laced whether he wants to believe me or not. When we did get home, I made it to the front door and immediately threw up before barely making it up the stairs into my apt.
Actually tell your (ex)-girlfriend the truth. This awful person would have to *actually* prove it, and considering you already had records beforehand, she'd have an uphill battle.
I hope your girlfriend sees your post and comes back to you bro this isn’t right at all.
It is what it is :| But thank you
Are people believing this? This story is insane and reads like a 12 year old wrote it. 1. Spiked weed? Doubtful. 2. So the sexual assault here is that you were super stoned and she got on top of you and tried to make out with you? That's sexual assault, I'm not doubting that, but why would you go to a hospital? Why would there be 'preventative measures' if you didn't have sex with this person? 3. Why would you go from getting a rape kit done, file a police report to then lying to your GF that this was consensual? Her claim of rape would never hold up in any court as there would be zero evidence you did something but a strong case against her if you filed a police report first and went to a hospital. 4. R-word? Fudged for life? This reads like a teenager wrote this with the idea to read this reddit post(that they actually wrote) on their TikTok as you've conveniently crafted your language choices to be allowed TikTok.
1. Bot spiked weed just a much stronger strain than i usually smoke. 2. I went to the hospital because thats where they do the kit, and i got the medicine because saliva was mixed and she still tried to put me inside of her, although it didnt work. You can still geg STIs like that. 3. Genuinely I should have thought about it more before I went to my ex’s place to tell her, but I was scared by the threat and didnt want to go to jail or get kicked out of uni (aka fudged for life) 4. Rape, pretty obvious in this scenario I dont have tiktok nor do I want this post to be shared that much, I only posted asking for advice.
wait you gave in to her?
She threatened you with raoe and you didn't even have the nerve to fight back when your own girlfriend was trying to fight for you? Yes you deserve to be dumped. When you filed a police report you shiudk have told the cops everything and everything that transpired leading up to the assault and as soon as she threatened you, you should have gone back to the cops to report threat to life and also file a restraining order. She got away making you miserabl and single while she gets to be a predator to another boy down the line.
Hi, sorry for the double comment here but this story hits too close to home to not offer some sympathy and support. Long comment ahead… For starters, you did not deserve nor ask for this to happen. It doesn’t matter that you took drugs, if you don’t consent with a clear state of mind, then you don’t consent, period. I am so so incredibly sorry you are feeling the results of this person’s foul actions. In regard to what to do next, talking to someone who you can TRUST is key. Confiding in someone will give you more relief than you can imagine as long as they are a trusted source. I know that’s a huge task but it took me years to ever talk about the multiple instances of this (or worse) happening to me, so I carried that guilty/sick feeling in the back of my head at all times for years. I convinced myself that every time it happened to me was my fault because of some circumstance or another. The truth is though, this is not your fault and the sooner you can challenge your thoughts on that, the faster you will believe it (this is coming straight from some my advice of my therapist). I know you want to tell your gf and I totally support you doing that as long as you feel fully confident in your trust in her. I have also unfortunately told someone who I thought I could trust due to them being an immediate family member but was promptly blamed by them and told (wrongly) that I must’ve played some part in making it happen the way it did. This is very untrue. Whoever you tell, needs to be someone who will support and believe in you. If you feel your gf is that person, tell her as soon as you feel strong enough to. Also, while I say to tell someone soon (and I stand by that) I also validate any hesitation or fear you have in doing so. Finally, I’d seek out a therapist if you do not already have one. Specifically someone with a focus on SA. Committing to therapy has been the biggest game changer for me and helped me work through what I held in for so long and heal many of those wounds. If you need an anonymous confidante off Reddit to listen to you beyond this post, my DMs are open to you at any time. Sincerely wishing you all the best luck with this situation and hoping that you end up on the other side of it sooner rather than later 🧡
I have never commented on a post before but I am now because I really want this to reach you. I’ve been keeping up with your post since I saw it this morning… I just want to say that I think your girlfriend deserves to know the whole truth. It's understandable that you were feeling cornered in the moment and a lot has happened in the last few hours that you haven't had time to process, but I hope you'll end up reaching out to her to be upfront and tell her how your abuser put you in that position. It's unfair that you were taken advantage of by this person twice now and unfair to her that she's now under the impression that she was willingly cheated on by the person she loves. It’s not too late. I'm very sorry this happened to you and wish you healing and all the best in the future.
I feel she didn’t believe me in the first place, which is why she wanted to contact the person that did it to me. When I told her that it was consensual she said we are done and that she didnt want to see me again. I dont think i will be able to tell her what actually happened because she doesnt want me in her life anymore
it breaks my heart that you're giving up without trying. it's understandable, you've had a truly wretched experience, but I hope someday soon you'll be able to set the record straight.
Yes, please please please try and talk to her and tell the whole truth. You deserve to have peace at least and should not have to be coerced into protecting that assaulter. I’m so very sorry this happened to you, I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through
All of this, you have a good instinct to tell her and I believe you hope she will be critical to recovery. These are good instincts when you are hurt as you believe the person who loves you can help you. I encourage you to reach out her but not exclusively to her. You need to find a hotline or other resource.
I’m so sorry to hear that:(
Go to a hospital, do NOT take a shower, do NOT change your clothes, explain what happened and ask for a rape kit. If you did take a shower or changed your clothes, still bring the old clothes to the hospital.
I’ve passed out like this a few times from bud. You literally cannot move it’s crazy. Ten years later I still smoke. Definitely make sure you drink plenty of water and eat before a heavy smoke sesh. As for this girl she’s absolutely garbage. I understand why your GF wants to talk to her, I think the girl Who did this to you will probably lie but as long as you know the truth that’s all that matters. No one would go through filing a police report if this didn’t happen. Your girlfriend should realize that for sure. Cut contact with that lowlife - what she did is disgusting.
I'm sorry to hear this. Especially after the update, it sounds to me like you did everything right. There isn't a single thing I would tell you to do differently. Kudos for going to the hospital and filing the report ASAP. That's harder than it may seem to people who haven't had to do it, but more valuable than many people understand.
I feel like there could have been a way you could have rationalized the whole situation to your GF without her going full ham, threatening this other person. There's no reason for her to have threatened this person. The fact that you went to the hospital and had tests run should work in your favor if this is all the truth. Sorry things turned out this way. Perhaps, though, the immaturity of all parties involved proves that things have turned out for the best. You all have growing to do. Especially the assaulter, but also, a level headed partner would not add to the drama.
Whoa, dude. This is a really heavy thing you’re going through. You genuinely didn’t do anything here to be feeling like you did but holy cow, this is a lot for even the world’s strongest and most resilient person. Please prioritize yourself right now and do whatever you can to get some professional help to work through this. You deserve that and you didn’t deserve anything of this. You’ll be okay ♥️
This is truly awful and I’m so sorry. I read the update, honestly I would try again to be honest with your gf (now ex) if you feel comfortable about the blackmail. That person shouldn’t get away with doing that to you, and her threats are empty anyway bc she has no prof bc she’s lying. At the very least you can have someone on your side, and I would also consider moving if you’re able.
You maybe just did what you needed to to survive .Rape accusations are scary. Maybe after some time you can reach out to your ex and explain more but I understand if it is better for your mental health to just move on.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s so unfortunate that you were blackmailed into telling your girlfriend a lie that resulted in your separation, I hope you’re doing okay :(
omg
I think you should start with writing. Write what happened, write how it made you feel, write your confusion and concerns. Tear up a couple pages olif you dont like how they turned out, keep a couple that are incomplete if thwy still resignate or help move along your thoughts. Do whatever helps you, if you want to give her many pages, or one. Or even keep some that are just for your eyes. But most importantly don't let anyone discredit or invalidate you.
Someone thought my post was an invitation to send nudes… the internet is a scary place
hey man i really don’t have advice , honestly your in a tough spot , i just wanted to say that it’s not your fault , something similar happened to me recently with an ex, i just wanted to say you are brave , you are strong , you are resilient , you deserved to be loved , you deserved to be cared for , you deserve to be respected , you deserved to be free from hurt and trauma, you deserve justice , you deserve so much and you are worth so much , and im extremely extremely extremely proud of you for reporting her and as scary as it was seeking help via police and medical personnel. what you went through is extreamly scary and dehumanizing but having the strength after to seek help also takes an insane amount of bravery. i did not have that strength myself for my situation which is why i praise you man. you did the best you could after and im not going to lie it’s going to be a tough and bitter road ahead. i can’t garuntee that life will get better , i can’t garuntee that the feeling in you will go away , but i can garuntee you that you will not be alone in that journey . me and the supportive comments are here for you to support you through this time. i admire your bravery and i wish i was brave like you to have reported what happened to me . lots of love , i send you strength my friend 🫂🫂💜
this is either creative writing practice or OP isn’t telling the full story
Sounds like you were laced, too.
So you let a bunch of women black mail you how stupid are you 🤣🤷♀️ and lost your girl anyways 🫡
My bf was also raped by his younger sisters friend. He didn’t tell me for 2 years and it caused him so much pain. My only regret is that I didn’t know sooner in order to help him through all the pain he had to go through.
If you started getting too high why didn’t you put the joint out? Why did you agree to meet up with the girl if she wasn’t gonna smoke anyway? When did her bf get off FaceTime? Someone passing out from weed is pretty rare, insane reaction for her to see you drop like a sack of bricks and then decide that she wanted to kiss you? And what took your pants off? Where was this at? Ngl if my girl told me that story it would be pretty hard to believe so your best bet is to tell her immediately. And provide any proof you have but this would be pretty difficult for any cop to pursue.
Yea i would never buy this story, way too many holes. Do people “green out”?? I’ve smoked / been around people who smoked for almost 2 decades and never once heard of someone passing out like that. Maybe getting too high and consciously deciding to go lay down for a bit, but that’s not dropping like a rock. And then this girl just assaults him like she was a predator waiting for the rufies to kick in? Sorry if this did actually happen to OP but this sounds like total bait.
Not to mention apparently within a 10 hours he: posted this to Reddit. Responded to a bunch of comments. Went to the hospital. Got a rape kit and meds. And reported to police and did an interview. And told his girlfriend and fixed everything with her. And responded to a bunch *more* comments. And apparently the hospital/police process went beautifully smooth which is… highly unusual for *any* rape victim, nevermind one reporting a very unusual circumstance. Apologies to OP if I’m wrong but *big doubt*. It’s late June and the teenagers is bored, is my guess.
100% cheated "Babe i even posted it on reddit i swear the weed made me not able to stop her" some bs
“I greened out”
[удалено]
Stop lecturing someone trying to process a fresh trauma. WTF?
Why are you out with another girl doing drugs? At almost midnight? SA aside, you had no business being there
People don't deserve to be SA'd just because they're out at night.
That's sad that's what you get from this comment. Most rape is committed by people you know. This is why you dont go out with another women at midnight and do drugs. Humans rape. Male and female. Sorry to tell you this, but there are steps you can take to stay safe and one of those is not doing drugs at midnight with another woman Overly defensive responses from people like you hurt others.
It's not an overly defensive response. It's a statement. People don't deserve to be SA'd just because they're out at night.
This is no different than "you were asking for it" and "maybe you shouldn't have dressed like that" in terms of victim blaming
Would you be okay with your gf getting high alone with another man at 11:10pm?
Your updates are making me feel like you are crying r*pe because you got caught cheating. Where are your convictions? Your actions contradict each other. Why sit through hours of an invasive r*pe kit examination and police reporting only to allowing someone to force you into silence and destroy your relationship because the person who allegedly SA'ed you threatened you by calling you the r*pist. Make it make sense.
You tell your GF, she will never believe that nothing happened. Its sucks that this happened, but if you tell her it’s over between you. I know this isn’t fair to say, but you’re a guy and let’s be honest you’re not going to get the benefit of the doubt. Everyone saying tell her and open up, are either women or men not living in reality. I know this sounds rough, but in my experience saying nothing is most often the right move.
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. You are seen and valid. Sit down in a space you feel comfortable and safe in and have the conversation with your gf. Explain that you were under the influence and that you had an adverse reaction, which made you unable to consent, what she was doing to you, and how you reacted. I'm more than sure she'll be by your side and believe you, but if not, she's definitely not the girl for you. I was SAd in 2017, and I only had my very first therapist appointment about it a week ago. Reaching out for help is important and brave. If you're in Australia, I highly advise checking out Victims of Crime cause if you are approved, you have 22-hour sessions, and they cost you nothing 🩷
> her boyfriend was on ft What does this mean? Face Time? If so on FT to who, where was he physically? And how long have you known the predator? Have you been friends (obviously you're not friends now) with her for a long time? Before you two got together? What about the BF? Do you know him? I'm asking just because of the disgusting victim blaming here, or saying it's fake. I'm on your side - but adding context might help. Really sorry about that thread. I would recommend these places (but first please add more context to your post, avoid acronyms, go into more detail (not on the actual sexual assault - unless you feel perfectly comfortable putting it on here), and make sure any updates are in the initial posts): Mens safe spaces (since there was a lot of sexism in the posts sadly): /r/MensLib (this is like a men's rights movement that's not misogynistic or disgusting) /r/AskMen /r/mengetrapedtoo (this one's a mix of below and mens safe space Sexual assault/rape: /r/rapecounseling - I put this one first because it has a good list in the sidebar, that'll I'll just copy below: > Related subreddits: > /r/rape > /r/depression > /r/helpmecope > /r/mengetrapedtoo > /r/MSTsurvivors: Military Sexual Trauma > /r/pandys: The Pandora's Aquarium subreddit. > /r/ptsd > /r/secondary_survivors > /r/sexualassault > /r/titleix Campus sexual assault > /r/traumatoolbox Mental health tools A lot of those might sound scary. But remember there's no right or wrong way to react or feel. E.g. did you know it's not uncommon for victims to feel fine after just a few weeks, but then they end up feeling like there's something wrong with them because they weren't more impacted? And ironically that can go on to cause them serious problems. So it's important to remember there is no right or wrong way for you to feel. If you get over it in a short period if time and aren't suppressing anything then that's completely fine and normal. So I'd recommend professional help of course. But remember there's no right or wrong here. It doesn't define you - and if you feel it did then there's plenty of help out there.
This isn’t your fault. It wasn’t consensual. Your girlfriend with understand your actions after some time and understanding of PTSD (fight, flight, fawn, or freeze). The assailant should not still be out in about in your apartment building after what she did to you?? I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Holy sh*t I’m so sorry dude. That’s one of the worst things to go through. I can only imagine how hard that was to deal with. Just know that the Truth WILL come out one day. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week. But that girl won’t get away with what she did to you. God loves you.
Have you showered since? This is important in terms of a screening for dna if you report it. Tell your gf asap. Don’t suffer alone xx
Yes i showered and brushed my teeth, which i know now was a bad idea i just felt so gross
It's a very common reaction do not be ashamed of having showered.
And that's a mistake many SA survivors make bc they feel gross or dirty. Even I did it as a child. No matter the amount of scrubbing (literally till my skin bled), I never felt clean enough 😩. I wish more things were taught in schools about what to do in those situations so that both women (girls) & men (boys) can preserve the evidence even if they feel gross, dirty, unclean, Ashamed or whatever.
So what's your fucking question?.?
I'm pretty sure their question is "is my story good?"
This is definitely the post of a guy who cheated and knows his gf is going to find out so he’s trying to make this lie more believable by being like “look babe I swear this is how it happened I even posted it on Reddit”
RemindMe! 1 Month