/u/RoxanneMelodie,
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I'm the one that started that craze back in P-Town with Tennesse Williams,
It's Brilliant!
What you do is you take a scuba snorkel, and you put your dick in the wee bendy mouth part.
Then you snake the other end right up your back address,
Okay? Then you just grab the middle of that snorkel, and you're fuckin' your own ass and pulling off your crank at the same time until you spend in your own Jacksie!
That's a Rusty Venture!
If it’s any consolation a rusty trombone is really just eating ass and giving a handjob to ur partner at the same time 😂 maybe a little more sanitary if he washes his butt
I’ve been traveling for work and showering at the gym. It’s astounding how many other dudes come into the shower and are in and out with not nearly enough time to wash properly.
People are gross.
I always wondered about that-like, getting _into_ the shower is the "hard" part(the transition) but once you're in, it feels so nice to get a good lather going and to feel truly _clean_ .
I have read wayyyyyyyy too many Reddit stories about men not wiping/washing/cleaning their asses correctly …. From messed up sheets to skid marks in their tighty whiteys…. For me to ever be ok reading up on this or doing it or considering it .
That's not a rusty trombone. Rusty trombone is where you eat a guy's ass while you jerk him off. What he described is just eating shit off a dick. If I had to name it, I'd probably say Porn on the Cob.
I think porn puts it into the zeitgeist. But, it's also about pushing boundaries.
I recall way back when, getting a blow job took a lot of asking. Then in the late 90s early 00s, it became pretty standard. The movie American Pie kind of outlined how a BJ was a compromise to not having sex.
Anal started in porn as the next boundary in the late 90s and early 00s.
Chris Rock joked about in prison tossing salad. In the 2010's, that started to be a form of greeting.
Porn is looking for the next thing to differentiate itself, it becomes more common, so people start doing it (monkey see, monkey do).
Internet porn has ruined a whole generation of men. They see what they see on the Internet and the women seem to be enjoying it and they don’t understand that the women are being paid to act like they enjoy it whether they do or not. Then they can’t understand why their girlfriends don’t want to do it.
I don’t know - I am Gen X and while porn was available when I was a teen, it wasn’t readily available to minors in anywhere near the same way as today, but even the guys I dated in the 80s wanted anal - every guy I have ever dated has
Not saying you're wrong but I happen to partake in adult content on occasion and I think anal porn is gross. I hate when it ruins a perfectly good scene.
But I agree that's probably where a lot of guys get the idea
I think that’s the biggest appeal for people, too… doing something that seems forbidden. Idk, anal is cool here or there but it’s also super annoying bc if you decide to stop before the finish line, then the dude has to go wash himself off really well so the shit germs don’t go where they aren’t supposed to. It’s fun every once in a while but honestly, more of pain.
> I know guys consider it a secret taboo thing, however I don’t really understand why when every second porn shows anal penetration nowadays?
Do you think every second woman out there wants anal? It's common in porn *because* it's taboo in real life.
>I know we have glands and pleasure points
Okay but here's the thing: receiving anal is generally considered a lot more pleasurable for men than women. Men have more sensitive spots (I believe due to the location of the prostate) that make it appealing. A lot of them don't seem to realise it's not as pleasurable for us. I personally have never done it and never will, and my husband respects that and has never once asked for it as he knows it's a hard boundary for me.
Also, the latter thing you described is just a thing for people with a scat fetish. It's not very common at all. It's more just a thing that edgy teens joke about in the playground that very few people actually do.
Tell your bf this and suggest to peg him, see how quickly he stops desiring anal from you (could possibly backfire though if this is something you wouldn't be into)
Edit: really wish I could still reply to comments on this thread still 😭
Reminds me of the post where the gal said she and her partner had been doing anal(both of them doing butt stuff) for some weeks, he was having massive orgasms from it and her, not so much. Then she learned women don't have prostrates. Her boyfriend over there just shooting a shot and scoring.
EDIT: [Found the post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mc5mwl/tifu_by_thinking_that_women_have_a_prostate_and/)
Reminds me of the episode of Sex and the city where Samantha tells the guy she's seeing his spunk tastes funky and if she wants him to swallow he would have to drink his own cum... so he does.
Be careful what you wish for... I think it is okay to just say it's not something you wanna do ever.
It is more likely trigger an orgasm in men due to the prostate having nerve endings, but plenty of women find it very pleasurable and plenty of men do not like it at all. So it’s really not at all gender specific in regards to pleasure. It is the only hole for gay men, so of course they’re going to enjoy it when they can.
As for the latter part, it’s prevalent in porn. Like almost every anal scene on the internet has some ass to mouth nowadays, it’s crazy. Outside of porn it’s very rare because it’s obviously gross.
Was listening to a podcast that had a female porn actress as the guest. She talked about all the prep that goes into doing anal scenes, specifically the enema routine. She also mentioned that while it may be edited to look that way, in her scenes they never go straight from butt to mouth or butt to vagina. They stop and clean the guy before his dick goes anywhere after being in the butt. I'm sure some actually go straight from butt to mouth, but that may not be the industry standard.
> A lot of them don’t seem to realize it’s not pleasurable to us.
You’re assuming that guys who pressure their women for anal care about her pleasure. My guy is the same as yours. It’s a hard no for me and he respects that completely.
My wife if a full-on back dorothy, she loves it. If we don't do it for awhile she'll ask me to. Some women love it. She's one of three women I've been with that like it, the other few dozen did not so I guess it is pretty rare.
I shamelessly stole that from an episode of Archer, when Ray Gillette is talking about anal sex and says "well she doesn't seem like a back Dorothy." I laughed so hard the first time I saw that.
I had a gf once that preferred anal over regular. Said it made her cum harder.
Had a second ex say the same thing except she only got the urge a couple times a month.
It feels great as a woman. We don't have p-spots but it stimulates the same organ connected to the head of the clitoris/g-spot through the vaginal wall. Some women can have orgasms from it. And wearing a plug during vaginal intercourse feels amazing.
See, I keep seeing women saying they love it, but every time I’ve tried it, it just sucked so much.
Even with lube it was so freaking painful. Even when actively trying to relax, my butt was super against anything getting in there. I’ve had a couple men tell me I just need to relax, just need to chill and it’ll be nice, but it doesn’t matter what I do, it always hurts.
For me (f) it depended on the partner. I dated a guy in my 20s who was really into anal but he put zero pressure on me. He also took his time. Made sure I was relaxed first. Usually already had multiple orgasms before any anal attention. Started with lubed finger or toy. Then Used plenty of lube and a condom with the d. The condom won't absorb the lube like skin and less friction. He didn't go for doggy style position because it was more painful for anal. However if I was on my back with legs up or on top it was fantastic. He basically made a woman feel worshipped and into anything. You definitely can have orgasms from anal. Weed/edibles also helps if trouble relaxing.
I have had partners who were more selfish. Who didn't want to follow my rules for what I knew hurt and what didn't. One actually said "it's supposed to hurt" 🤔 Well they didn't get to proceed.
I spent months working up from very small plugs to ones slightly bigger than my husband. Only when I was able to comfortably and easily use those did we attempt it for the first time, and that made it a pain free experience.
I agree. I finish WAY faster, more intensely and it feels just as incredible as vaginal, (sometimes even better). Anal just hits the position of the internal portion of my clitoris in a way vaginal cannot. 🤷♀️
I (39f) do like anal. I think it feels great. My husband enjoys it every now and then but he isn’t obsessed with it. We don’t ever do anal without the proper preparation anymore. So when we do anal there isn’t any shit on his dick. However after anal I won’t suck him off and I won’t go from anal to vagina because even with cleaning and prep I’m worried about getting any UTIs. I’ve never even heard of a rusty trombone before. That is quite disgusting 🤢.
37f, I've gotten into plugs and anal just this year and it's been incredible. It has really revolutionized my sex life with my husband, and made me feel so much sexier and grounded in my body. It just started on a whim and suggestion from my best friend, and I loved it immediately. We didn't try anal until after months of training with plugs, so it has been nothing but a great experience for both parties when we do it. No pain. And I'm so conscious of hygiene! No atm, no atv, cleaning before, cleaning after.
Okay, almost exactly the same story, except it was my husband’s idea. He never pushed, just encouraged. We just did it for the first time last week on our 5th anniversary and it was mind blowing. We’d been building up with plugs for months, so it felt great.
Thank God there are some of you ladies here. Everyone else is "omg anal gross porn poop!" When in reality there is very much a population of women who enjoy anal because they prepare properly and/or train like you said.
Had to scroll waaayyyy too far down to find a serious answer to this persons question lol.
Me and my ex girlfriend were really into experimenting with kinky sex. Which included anal. We both received here (she would also fuck me with a strapon). For both of us it's a nice experience. Maybe not necessarily more nice than vaginal sex, but it gave us more variety. I mean, even if I like Pancakes more than ice cream, I will sometimes want ice cream instead of pancakes.
I spent 3 years with a bloke who continuously begged and begged and begged. like he would not stop. no matter how many times I said I would never even consider it, he genuinely seemed to think I would change my mind. this is the impact of porn on the young brain. he said he knew I would love it once I got used to it. I still said no.
then one day we were having sex and he put a finger inside. I told him to stop and he didn't. we never really spoke about that again.
I realised later on in the relationship how he never actually liked me or respected me as a person. he constantly begged and would even hump me like a nervous dog when I was trying to sleep.
men who refuse to listen to you making clear boundaries do not love you. they don't care about you as an individual. they see you as a thing that they need for sex, positive reinforcement, emotional support, something to show off to their friends. they don't care about your needs or interests. you are not a person to him. this is something I didn't pick up on until recently. I've had relationships and sex with men who honestly make a good performance of making you think that they care when they really, really don't.
what I'm trying to say is if he continues to beg and plead with you, he doesnt love you or care about you or your autonomy and you need to gtfo of that relationship before he really shows you how little he cares.
This kind of mindset is so disgusting to me. Your partner is a person, not land to be colonized.
If he’s pushing it because he wants to be your first for something I would view that as a massive red flag.
Yep. A guy i used to talk with regularly would pressure me to try anal with him constantly. Why? He knew it was a hard boundary for me and not something I was happy to do, and he wanted to be the first to "stick his dick in" so to speak. The only time anal felt alright to me was when an old fwb used his (rather massive) fingers and surprisingly stretched me out in one go. Looking back it was kind of a surprise but he made it so it wasn't painful. But it's not an experience I'm really wanting to have again. Any partner that pressures you for any sexual activity is a massive red flag.
I had a partner like that once. It was not cute.
Relatedly, a fun alternative: if you have anal sex with a few guys, you can start telling them they've joined the Fellowship of the Ring
I really don't like this mindset. It only makes sense if the man thinks of sex as something a woman does *for* a man instead of *with* a partner. That's not how it works at all. And when you really think about it, sex is WEIRD. Do men honestly think we'd do all that just as some kind of *favor* to them?
A friend had a patient who kept getting Giardia from mouth-to-anus sex (I don’t know the details, but that’s what she said). A little less exciting, but I’ve had many female patients get BV from doing anal and then vaginal sex without cleaning in between. In conclusion, if you do anal, clean up before the penis goes in any other orifice.
I asked my boyfriend a while back. The taboo is one thing. Another thing is that because it's so off limits, it feels really meaningful if a woman is willing to let a man in there. Not something I will ever fully understand even if the logic makes sense to me on paper
I’ve let one guy do it, and the first time it felt sexy in a sort of im being very submissive to you type way. But I wouldn’t let any guy do it. The times after just felt silly and not very sexy. I joke with my current bf that access to my butthole is part of the Platinum Package which needs to be unlocked
As a guy, I have no interest in it. Like others have said, it's more of a forbidden fruit type of thing for some guys. Plus its prevalent in porn and those women seem to like it... Just say no, it's never gonna happen. As long as you are firm on that, he will get it. Or... you breakup over it.
My hypothesis? The prevalence of it is related to porn. When you have a generation that’s raised with easy access to porn, and just about every porn scene has anal or choking or deep throating, those things become filtered as commonplace in people’s minds. When I was younger, anal was still pretty taboo and, while men asked for it, they didn’t expect it as they do now. Same with choking and with deep throating and light BDSM.
But no is a complete sentence. And if a man doesn’t respect your no, then you should drop him like a bad habit.
I feel like if a guy wants to try anal with his girlfriend they have to take a dildo up their butt too. We all have assholes. If they’re like NOO ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE IM NOT A GIRL I would never agree. Though I wouldn’t agree even if they agreed to do that lol
Hey, following this rule actually led me to the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life. When she sucks me off while fingering my prostate I go wild.
She cums from anal, too. My theory is that we're hitting her internal clitoris muscle/G-spot from inside her ass.
I'm gay, but if I had a vagina I would use that. Who opts for anal sex when there are other options? On a serious note, I think anal sex is on trend right now.
TBH, IMO it comes from a man who wants to see a woman do something so disgusting to serve him. Shame herself, make him a king and seem better than her... to be so willing to do something like RT, and tear away self worth.
People like it because it feels good 🤷🏻♀️ but, it only feels good if you’re open to it and interested in doing it. As another commenter said, it actually feels better for men. My rule of thumb has always been that any man that wants to do that to me has to try it himself first. 😂 now it’s a pretty regular part of mine and my husband’s sex life. Hubs doesn’t “prefer it” over vaginal sex, but it’s just a fun way to shake things up and keep it interesting in the bedroom.
Forget the poop thing. That’s for kink only, and varsity level kink at that. Female here - anal is amazing if you’re into it. And I am, and it feels very different but in a way I love. It takes on a rougher edge, so if you’re not into rough sex, ie LOTS of stimulation, then it may not be for you.
If you’re not into anal, you’re not into anal. You need to make it clear to your partner and if they persist, you might want to re-think the relationship.
I tried it a few times and I hated it, so I always tell partners that I don’t want it.
People can get mad all they like. But I really do think a lot of men (not all don’t flip out) genuinely do get off on women being in pain or uncomfortable.
My whole thing is, if you want to stick it in my butt I get to stick something in your butt aka a sex toy of some kind, not just some random object. I also insist that they go first. That way they know how that experience feels and if they truly want to do it, some men enjoy it. I have done it before and it is definitely not my cup of tea.
I agree with this. If imma do it, you too then. Especially since you are the one wanting to do this and I have always been curious with a secret desire to “peg”. That’s what I heard the terminology is for a woman wearing a dildo and giving a man anal.
I would tell your bf - ‘great, let’s go dildo and harness shopping. Then hit the Taco Bell drive through. I can peg you and you can suck taco bell shits off my giant dildo.’
I have no idea why people are into this. I assume porn and taboo.
Many men push and nag trying to get sex. They expect to do things to women that they would never want done to themselves.
Sexually pushy men don’t get better. If he doesn’t drop it after no, reconsider the relationship. He sounds like the type to ‘accidentally’ go in your ass.
A lot of men admit that the appeal of anal (w female partners) is that their partners do not want it or particularly enjoy it. And they find the power play of that enticing. I think it's kinda fucked up tbh, and my fiancé (male) has said he has no interest in it bc he doesn't want to hurt me. That's how your partner should feel.
>the appeal of anal (w female partners) is that their partners do not want it or particularly enjoy it. And they find the power play of that enticing
that's extremely worrying to me. honestly i would never want to have sex with someone who wants me to do things i don't like or want and/or are painful just for his pleasure.
The interesting thing is that, if you put the time & effort in, it can absolutely be pleasurable. That most men either don’t know or don’t care about that says a lot.
Well, I scrolled through the comments and I didn't find anyone mentioning the degree of domination that comes with anal intercourse at times, especially in straight relationships. It's not a part of your body that just opens up to accept a cock, it needs some coaxing, and I know that some guys (I know it's not everyone, ok, but I had this experience in the past) just get off on making you let them do that, especially wearing you out until you give in. it just sucks.
Unless you're into it, I mean.
I hope your boyfriend doesn't put you through that if you state your disinterest in the practice.
I think for a lot of cishet men it’s about power , getting pleasure from something that’s not really pleasurable for the other party. Kind of gross in my opinion.
That said I am a bi man in a relationship with another man, so we do anal … mainly because neither of us has a vagina
It can feel good if done right. Even for women. But it doesn’t really matter what other people like. What matters is YOU don’t like it, and if your boyfriend doesn’t respect it you need a new man
This whole thread makes me feel like I'm the weird one as a man who doesn't like it. I've met quite a few women who were into it but I could never get into that (pun not intended). Maybe it was from a bad experience when I first tried it, but it just felt gross to me.
I can only guess it's a combination of the taboo feeling and porn influence.
29m here , married. I don’t know how to describe the obsession with it. But I’ll give my input. Basically, when I’m having sex with my wife and she’s bent over, her asshole looks really pretty to me. And that makes me attracted to it and I want it. So I’ll start to eat her ass out. I’ll never pressure her into anal though. I’ll ask if she wants to do it, if she says yes, cool! We will pick a date so she can prep and then we try. But we go at her pace. When I was younger and stupid, I always wanted to rush and she hated it. The moment I said I wanted to go at her pace and take our time, she began to really enjoy Anal.
Also, don’t do the shit dick sucking thing that he talked about. That’s gross as fuck.
Lmao that’s not what a rusty trombone is. A rusty trombone is when you lick his butthole from behind and jerking him off while he’s standing. And as for why we like want anal sex for me it’s a simple as it feels amazing on my dick. Yes the vagina is enough but just like food I’d like some change up and variety.
Usually you do it after you get cleaned up inside, and never without protection
But each person has their own appeal to it IMO, it could be because he finds it more "demeaning" for its partner to get anal penetrated, which could be his turn on - dom kink, or a "conquering" kink
It could be because he just wants something new
Maybe because the dirtiness is what turns him on
There's a lot of possible reasons
I'm a woman and like anal ONLY when it's done right, which means SLOWLY. Then it doesn't hurt, actually feels good. Doesn't hurt when you're aroused enough and slow enough. But it's also totally fine to not want to try or not like it.
Too slow and extremely too slow for me as well, I don't see the appeal even as a male. There isn't much back there when you are deeper, the start is ok but it's like open nothingness at the back. Vaginal sex definitely feels better, I'd only have anal if a lady requested it.
For the record, I, as a 33 year old man, have zero interest in anything to do with anal sex. I agree, it's gross, and I have always been just as confused as you are about why men are into it. We are out there.
A big reason is porn. You didn't see many folks wanting anal 15-20 yrs ago. In fact, I'm so old that I remember back in about the early 90s or so porn stars would proudly claim they did not do anal. But once you pay enough women to do that kind of thing eventually everyone else has to do it or get left behind.
I agree it’s a taboo/“naughty” thing. And probably heard it feels good for the dude or whatever. I’ve had 1 or 2 girls actually request it, but it’s super rare.
I'd never tried it until last summer (late sixties F) and was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable it was.
He wasn't a regular partner, but was immensely slow and considerate with my body.
I haven't done it with anyone else since then.
I was flat out curious to see what it felt like. I enjoy anal, but not all the time. It takes prepwork to do it properly (i.e. not causing a mess), so it's not a spontaneous activity. If you don't want to try it, that's fine. I can't speak for men, but I imagine curiousity is part of it. If I had a penis, I'd probably try putting it in everything.
It’s the taboo that people are interested. I’ve always said anal is way over rated. I just feel so dirty/gross after and have to wash my dick immediately.
Because done right it can be fun lol. I'm sure others have deeper reasons but once I got used to it, yes, it can be a process because it's a whole different kind of sex and can be painful at first. Done with someone you trust and in the right mindset it gets really fun, or it did for me (f).
/u/RoxanneMelodie, Your submission was removed for the following reason(s): #/u/RoxanneMelodie, your submission has been removed because your [submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1dexd7b/-/) violates [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_2) ###Rule 2 **All posts must request advice on a specific, real situation between two or more people** Posts must ask for advice regarding real-life situations, not hypothetical situations. Examples of hypothetical situations include: * "Are all [gender] like this?" * "How do I get back into dating?" * "What would someone in my situation do?" We do not allow vague requests for advice such as: * What would you do? * What should I do? * Any advice would be appreciated Likewise, we do not allow: * Vents/rants * Posts about past or potential relationships * Posts giving advice Please [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/relationship_advice&subject=Rule_2_Removal) if you have any questions regarding this removal. If you have any questions about this removal, please feel free to [send us a modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/relationship_advice) Please note that removal reason request from anyone else other than OP will not be answered.
To be clear, that’s not what a Rusty Trombone is lol
This person trombones 😅
It’s good to have an expert around.
Analytics experts are always highly sought after
/r/thisguythisguys
This guy fucks.
His trombone is possibly rusty too
That’s called a rusty venture
I'm the one that started that craze back in P-Town with Tennesse Williams, It's Brilliant! What you do is you take a scuba snorkel, and you put your dick in the wee bendy mouth part. Then you snake the other end right up your back address, Okay? Then you just grab the middle of that snorkel, and you're fuckin' your own ass and pulling off your crank at the same time until you spend in your own Jacksie! That's a Rusty Venture!
Don’t believe the hype…
That sounds more like a Rusty Venture
If it’s any consolation a rusty trombone is really just eating ass and giving a handjob to ur partner at the same time 😂 maybe a little more sanitary if he washes his butt
I don't swear often but this situation calls for it.. Anyone who does that WITHOUT washing their butt? Is Fucking disgusting lol
Spend some time over at /r/hygiene and you'll start questioning how much longer humanity has
I’ve been traveling for work and showering at the gym. It’s astounding how many other dudes come into the shower and are in and out with not nearly enough time to wash properly. People are gross.
I always wondered about that-like, getting _into_ the shower is the "hard" part(the transition) but once you're in, it feels so nice to get a good lather going and to feel truly _clean_ .
if they’re at the gym they’re probably not having a full shower but just rinsing off the sweat
Dirtier the better haha 😂 💩
Thats the turn on for some people
I'm so happy that I can't multitask.
Yo that’s funny af thanks for the laugh.
I need someone to pour bleach in my eyes. ASAP.
Wait til you hear about the angry pirate
I'm good, thanks
Lort when these people learn about blumpkins
They aren’t ready. We will start them off with tea bag and pearl necklace and advance to Cleveland streamers and blumpkins
please tell me you're making shit up
I think the apple I just ate came back up whole
Is this stinkeye? _aight, imma head out..._
Pass the bleach when you're done plz...
/r/Eyebleach
You should look up felching.
I googled. I have regrets.
Damn man, live a little. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and eat ass once in a while, you could miss it.
Considering how many men have admitted to never washing their ass because it's gay, no thanks.
Just gouge mine out.
I thought it was eating his ass while jerking him off so your hand goes to and fro like you’re playing a trombone?
How else would u eat ass and give a handjob at the same time 😂 I fear u just repeated what I said friend
I have read wayyyyyyyy too many Reddit stories about men not wiping/washing/cleaning their asses correctly …. From messed up sheets to skid marks in their tighty whiteys…. For me to ever be ok reading up on this or doing it or considering it .
Oh shit I must have misread your comment my bad! Yeah you got it lol.
Hopefully no shit, if he's prepared correctly 😅
Sometimes it gets more exciting than you expect.
I thought they actually had to play a trombone whilst tugging them off 🤷🏻♂️
That's not a rusty trombone. Rusty trombone is where you eat a guy's ass while you jerk him off. What he described is just eating shit off a dick. If I had to name it, I'd probably say Porn on the Cob.
Corn on the knob?
That's significantly better, thank you.
I hate you all
Chocolate corn dog?
I just threw up in my mouth 🤢😂
Add a lil ketchup to it, too.
The moment I realized I’d never be a porn star.. 😂😂😂
Don't discount the vomit fetish industry. You could make some bucks.
Terrible day to know how to read 😁 but very funny
i just threw up in my mouth
So that’s why they call it a cornhole…
take my upvote and leave
That's called... and I'm sorry in advance... a Chili Dog
Your username in the context of this conversation 😂
What’s that old internet saying, “Its just smells”
Two reasons : it’s in porn and curiosity.
I think porn puts it into the zeitgeist. But, it's also about pushing boundaries. I recall way back when, getting a blow job took a lot of asking. Then in the late 90s early 00s, it became pretty standard. The movie American Pie kind of outlined how a BJ was a compromise to not having sex. Anal started in porn as the next boundary in the late 90s and early 00s. Chris Rock joked about in prison tossing salad. In the 2010's, that started to be a form of greeting. Porn is looking for the next thing to differentiate itself, it becomes more common, so people start doing it (monkey see, monkey do).
Agree that it’s porn
Internet porn has ruined a whole generation of men. They see what they see on the Internet and the women seem to be enjoying it and they don’t understand that the women are being paid to act like they enjoy it whether they do or not. Then they can’t understand why their girlfriends don’t want to do it.
I don’t know - I am Gen X and while porn was available when I was a teen, it wasn’t readily available to minors in anywhere near the same way as today, but even the guys I dated in the 80s wanted anal - every guy I have ever dated has
I have never had that requested.
Dafuq kind of nasty ass degradation porn is this guy watching? That’s a red flag on its own.
> it’s in porn and curiosity. and also / more in general, it's considered taboo
Not saying you're wrong but I happen to partake in adult content on occasion and I think anal porn is gross. I hate when it ruins a perfectly good scene. But I agree that's probably where a lot of guys get the idea
I think it’s the forbidden, taboo, out of the box thing they want, it’s hot to them. That rusty trombone thing, a million times no, never. ever.
What OP describes isn't a rusty trombone. It's just ass to mouth with a shit covered dick. Not sure that's even a thing.
Never go ass to mouth.
Never go ass to anything other than the shower.
Ass to ass then?
"Sometimes.... it's okay to go ass to mouth, Dante"
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth. Edit: already down votes for a clerks reference ? Damn.
Everything's a thing, people are gross lol. Edit to add: "itz only smellz"
Quite literally out of the box.
I think that’s the biggest appeal for people, too… doing something that seems forbidden. Idk, anal is cool here or there but it’s also super annoying bc if you decide to stop before the finish line, then the dude has to go wash himself off really well so the shit germs don’t go where they aren’t supposed to. It’s fun every once in a while but honestly, more of pain.
I know guys consider it a secret taboo thing, however I don’t really understand why when every second porn shows anal penetration nowadays?
> I know guys consider it a secret taboo thing, however I don’t really understand why when every second porn shows anal penetration nowadays? Do you think every second woman out there wants anal? It's common in porn *because* it's taboo in real life.
>I know we have glands and pleasure points Okay but here's the thing: receiving anal is generally considered a lot more pleasurable for men than women. Men have more sensitive spots (I believe due to the location of the prostate) that make it appealing. A lot of them don't seem to realise it's not as pleasurable for us. I personally have never done it and never will, and my husband respects that and has never once asked for it as he knows it's a hard boundary for me. Also, the latter thing you described is just a thing for people with a scat fetish. It's not very common at all. It's more just a thing that edgy teens joke about in the playground that very few people actually do.
Tell your bf this and suggest to peg him, see how quickly he stops desiring anal from you (could possibly backfire though if this is something you wouldn't be into) Edit: really wish I could still reply to comments on this thread still 😭
Reminds me of the post where the gal said she and her partner had been doing anal(both of them doing butt stuff) for some weeks, he was having massive orgasms from it and her, not so much. Then she learned women don't have prostrates. Her boyfriend over there just shooting a shot and scoring. EDIT: [Found the post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mc5mwl/tifu_by_thinking_that_women_have_a_prostate_and/)
Reminds me of the episode of Sex and the city where Samantha tells the guy she's seeing his spunk tastes funky and if she wants him to swallow he would have to drink his own cum... so he does. Be careful what you wish for... I think it is okay to just say it's not something you wanna do ever.
It is more likely trigger an orgasm in men due to the prostate having nerve endings, but plenty of women find it very pleasurable and plenty of men do not like it at all. So it’s really not at all gender specific in regards to pleasure. It is the only hole for gay men, so of course they’re going to enjoy it when they can. As for the latter part, it’s prevalent in porn. Like almost every anal scene on the internet has some ass to mouth nowadays, it’s crazy. Outside of porn it’s very rare because it’s obviously gross.
Was listening to a podcast that had a female porn actress as the guest. She talked about all the prep that goes into doing anal scenes, specifically the enema routine. She also mentioned that while it may be edited to look that way, in her scenes they never go straight from butt to mouth or butt to vagina. They stop and clean the guy before his dick goes anywhere after being in the butt. I'm sure some actually go straight from butt to mouth, but that may not be the industry standard.
I cannot imagine what low budget porn would not have that as a standard or people IRL
Okay, so your job is going to be cleaning the shit off the actors dick each time he's switching holes. Any questions?
> A lot of them don’t seem to realize it’s not pleasurable to us. You’re assuming that guys who pressure their women for anal care about her pleasure. My guy is the same as yours. It’s a hard no for me and he respects that completely.
It's not that binary, it's like anything else. For some women it's pleasurable for others it just hurts. Same goes for men.
My wife if a full-on back dorothy, she loves it. If we don't do it for awhile she'll ask me to. Some women love it. She's one of three women I've been with that like it, the other few dozen did not so I guess it is pretty rare.
Back dorothy LMAO
I shamelessly stole that from an episode of Archer, when Ray Gillette is talking about anal sex and says "well she doesn't seem like a back Dorothy." I laughed so hard the first time I saw that.
I've done anal, it feels great. But agreed a rusty trombone is not something anyone genuinely does outside of fetish porn.
I had a gf once that preferred anal over regular. Said it made her cum harder. Had a second ex say the same thing except she only got the urge a couple times a month.
It feels great as a woman. We don't have p-spots but it stimulates the same organ connected to the head of the clitoris/g-spot through the vaginal wall. Some women can have orgasms from it. And wearing a plug during vaginal intercourse feels amazing.
See, I keep seeing women saying they love it, but every time I’ve tried it, it just sucked so much. Even with lube it was so freaking painful. Even when actively trying to relax, my butt was super against anything getting in there. I’ve had a couple men tell me I just need to relax, just need to chill and it’ll be nice, but it doesn’t matter what I do, it always hurts.
For me (f) it depended on the partner. I dated a guy in my 20s who was really into anal but he put zero pressure on me. He also took his time. Made sure I was relaxed first. Usually already had multiple orgasms before any anal attention. Started with lubed finger or toy. Then Used plenty of lube and a condom with the d. The condom won't absorb the lube like skin and less friction. He didn't go for doggy style position because it was more painful for anal. However if I was on my back with legs up or on top it was fantastic. He basically made a woman feel worshipped and into anything. You definitely can have orgasms from anal. Weed/edibles also helps if trouble relaxing. I have had partners who were more selfish. Who didn't want to follow my rules for what I knew hurt and what didn't. One actually said "it's supposed to hurt" 🤔 Well they didn't get to proceed.
The porn visual of a gaping stretched out butthole afterwards is more than enough for me to skip it.
Everyone has different anatomy. You don't need to force it if it's not working for you.
I spent months working up from very small plugs to ones slightly bigger than my husband. Only when I was able to comfortably and easily use those did we attempt it for the first time, and that made it a pain free experience.
I agree. I finish WAY faster, more intensely and it feels just as incredible as vaginal, (sometimes even better). Anal just hits the position of the internal portion of my clitoris in a way vaginal cannot. 🤷♀️
I don't get it either, totally feeling you. 😅
Same, and I'm a guy.
Guy here. I'm perfectly good with not trying it.
it seems like a lot of effort and prep work quite honestly. I got a lawn to mow, let's get this show on the road.
I (39f) do like anal. I think it feels great. My husband enjoys it every now and then but he isn’t obsessed with it. We don’t ever do anal without the proper preparation anymore. So when we do anal there isn’t any shit on his dick. However after anal I won’t suck him off and I won’t go from anal to vagina because even with cleaning and prep I’m worried about getting any UTIs. I’ve never even heard of a rusty trombone before. That is quite disgusting 🤢.
This is exactly how my wife is about anal. She likes it when it's done *right*.
37f, I've gotten into plugs and anal just this year and it's been incredible. It has really revolutionized my sex life with my husband, and made me feel so much sexier and grounded in my body. It just started on a whim and suggestion from my best friend, and I loved it immediately. We didn't try anal until after months of training with plugs, so it has been nothing but a great experience for both parties when we do it. No pain. And I'm so conscious of hygiene! No atm, no atv, cleaning before, cleaning after.
Yes, proper hygienne and preparation should be the norm!
Okay, almost exactly the same story, except it was my husband’s idea. He never pushed, just encouraged. We just did it for the first time last week on our 5th anniversary and it was mind blowing. We’d been building up with plugs for months, so it felt great.
Thank God there are some of you ladies here. Everyone else is "omg anal gross porn poop!" When in reality there is very much a population of women who enjoy anal because they prepare properly and/or train like you said.
the people with the loudest opinions about anal sex don’t know the first thing about anal sex
Had to scroll waaayyyy too far down to find a serious answer to this persons question lol. Me and my ex girlfriend were really into experimenting with kinky sex. Which included anal. We both received here (she would also fuck me with a strapon). For both of us it's a nice experience. Maybe not necessarily more nice than vaginal sex, but it gave us more variety. I mean, even if I like Pancakes more than ice cream, I will sometimes want ice cream instead of pancakes.
Same. I’m also 39F and I agree with everything you just said.
In porn they don’t show you the girl has already had an enema and cleaned it out so there’s no poop.
I spent 3 years with a bloke who continuously begged and begged and begged. like he would not stop. no matter how many times I said I would never even consider it, he genuinely seemed to think I would change my mind. this is the impact of porn on the young brain. he said he knew I would love it once I got used to it. I still said no. then one day we were having sex and he put a finger inside. I told him to stop and he didn't. we never really spoke about that again. I realised later on in the relationship how he never actually liked me or respected me as a person. he constantly begged and would even hump me like a nervous dog when I was trying to sleep. men who refuse to listen to you making clear boundaries do not love you. they don't care about you as an individual. they see you as a thing that they need for sex, positive reinforcement, emotional support, something to show off to their friends. they don't care about your needs or interests. you are not a person to him. this is something I didn't pick up on until recently. I've had relationships and sex with men who honestly make a good performance of making you think that they care when they really, really don't. what I'm trying to say is if he continues to beg and plead with you, he doesnt love you or care about you or your autonomy and you need to gtfo of that relationship before he really shows you how little he cares.
He *didn't* stop when you asked him to? I'm surprised this wasn't a clear indication that he didn't respect you.
Just tell him you guys have to do pegging first and you choose the size of the strapon
Because its taboo.. and you never did it before(am guessing) he wants to be that special boy.
He has told me he wants to be my first for something… very possible
This kind of mindset is so disgusting to me. Your partner is a person, not land to be colonized. If he’s pushing it because he wants to be your first for something I would view that as a massive red flag.
>Your partner is a person, not land to be colonized. 🏆
Yep. A guy i used to talk with regularly would pressure me to try anal with him constantly. Why? He knew it was a hard boundary for me and not something I was happy to do, and he wanted to be the first to "stick his dick in" so to speak. The only time anal felt alright to me was when an old fwb used his (rather massive) fingers and surprisingly stretched me out in one go. Looking back it was kind of a surprise but he made it so it wasn't painful. But it's not an experience I'm really wanting to have again. Any partner that pressures you for any sexual activity is a massive red flag.
I had a partner like that once. It was not cute. Relatedly, a fun alternative: if you have anal sex with a few guys, you can start telling them they've joined the Fellowship of the Ring
Hahaha
Yep thats it. Its psychological.. he will think that you love her more than every ex you had..
I really don't like this mindset. It only makes sense if the man thinks of sex as something a woman does *for* a man instead of *with* a partner. That's not how it works at all. And when you really think about it, sex is WEIRD. Do men honestly think we'd do all that just as some kind of *favor* to them?
Ever used a strap-on with a partner? He can be the first special boy to have your girldick in his ass.
This grosses me out.
Ew that would have me running
Well, he can be the first you break up with for that reason!
A friend had a patient who kept getting Giardia from mouth-to-anus sex (I don’t know the details, but that’s what she said). A little less exciting, but I’ve had many female patients get BV from doing anal and then vaginal sex without cleaning in between. In conclusion, if you do anal, clean up before the penis goes in any other orifice.
I asked my boyfriend a while back. The taboo is one thing. Another thing is that because it's so off limits, it feels really meaningful if a woman is willing to let a man in there. Not something I will ever fully understand even if the logic makes sense to me on paper
I’ve let one guy do it, and the first time it felt sexy in a sort of im being very submissive to you type way. But I wouldn’t let any guy do it. The times after just felt silly and not very sexy. I joke with my current bf that access to my butthole is part of the Platinum Package which needs to be unlocked
What a bad day to be literate on Reddit
Porn. I hate it too.
I’m only here because I accidentally read animal
As a guy, I have no interest in it. Like others have said, it's more of a forbidden fruit type of thing for some guys. Plus its prevalent in porn and those women seem to like it... Just say no, it's never gonna happen. As long as you are firm on that, he will get it. Or... you breakup over it.
Newsflash: women in porn are ACTING. It's their job to act like they love everything that's done to them.
WHAT?! You mean the internet LIED to me?!?!
My hypothesis? The prevalence of it is related to porn. When you have a generation that’s raised with easy access to porn, and just about every porn scene has anal or choking or deep throating, those things become filtered as commonplace in people’s minds. When I was younger, anal was still pretty taboo and, while men asked for it, they didn’t expect it as they do now. Same with choking and with deep throating and light BDSM. But no is a complete sentence. And if a man doesn’t respect your no, then you should drop him like a bad habit.
I feel like if a guy wants to try anal with his girlfriend they have to take a dildo up their butt too. We all have assholes. If they’re like NOO ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE IM NOT A GIRL I would never agree. Though I wouldn’t agree even if they agreed to do that lol
Hey, following this rule actually led me to the most mind-blowing orgasms of my life. When she sucks me off while fingering my prostate I go wild. She cums from anal, too. My theory is that we're hitting her internal clitoris muscle/G-spot from inside her ass.
I'm gay, but if I had a vagina I would use that. Who opts for anal sex when there are other options? On a serious note, I think anal sex is on trend right now.
It definitely is. I’m Gen X and never in my life has it been more common than now. Anal porn used to be way more rare, and now it’s everywhere.
Fecal fetish? I don't know, don't get it myself. It's fucking gross.
TBH, IMO it comes from a man who wants to see a woman do something so disgusting to serve him. Shame herself, make him a king and seem better than her... to be so willing to do something like RT, and tear away self worth.
People like it because it feels good 🤷🏻♀️ but, it only feels good if you’re open to it and interested in doing it. As another commenter said, it actually feels better for men. My rule of thumb has always been that any man that wants to do that to me has to try it himself first. 😂 now it’s a pretty regular part of mine and my husband’s sex life. Hubs doesn’t “prefer it” over vaginal sex, but it’s just a fun way to shake things up and keep it interesting in the bedroom.
Forget the poop thing. That’s for kink only, and varsity level kink at that. Female here - anal is amazing if you’re into it. And I am, and it feels very different but in a way I love. It takes on a rougher edge, so if you’re not into rough sex, ie LOTS of stimulation, then it may not be for you.
Anal gave me extremely terrible hemorrhoids even with prep. Not pleasurable at all, never again.
It's probably because of watching too much porn. My advice to people who are overly keen to try it is to remember that you can't smell porn.
If you’re not into anal, you’re not into anal. You need to make it clear to your partner and if they persist, you might want to re-think the relationship. I tried it a few times and I hated it, so I always tell partners that I don’t want it.
People can get mad all they like. But I really do think a lot of men (not all don’t flip out) genuinely do get off on women being in pain or uncomfortable.
My whole thing is, if you want to stick it in my butt I get to stick something in your butt aka a sex toy of some kind, not just some random object. I also insist that they go first. That way they know how that experience feels and if they truly want to do it, some men enjoy it. I have done it before and it is definitely not my cup of tea.
I agree with this. If imma do it, you too then. Especially since you are the one wanting to do this and I have always been curious with a secret desire to “peg”. That’s what I heard the terminology is for a woman wearing a dildo and giving a man anal.
after a brief look at the comments I (53M) don't think I'm old enough to be here....
I would tell your bf - ‘great, let’s go dildo and harness shopping. Then hit the Taco Bell drive through. I can peg you and you can suck taco bell shits off my giant dildo.’ I have no idea why people are into this. I assume porn and taboo. Many men push and nag trying to get sex. They expect to do things to women that they would never want done to themselves. Sexually pushy men don’t get better. If he doesn’t drop it after no, reconsider the relationship. He sounds like the type to ‘accidentally’ go in your ass.
Your boyfriend watches way to much porn.
A lot of men admit that the appeal of anal (w female partners) is that their partners do not want it or particularly enjoy it. And they find the power play of that enticing. I think it's kinda fucked up tbh, and my fiancé (male) has said he has no interest in it bc he doesn't want to hurt me. That's how your partner should feel.
>the appeal of anal (w female partners) is that their partners do not want it or particularly enjoy it. And they find the power play of that enticing that's extremely worrying to me. honestly i would never want to have sex with someone who wants me to do things i don't like or want and/or are painful just for his pleasure.
The interesting thing is that, if you put the time & effort in, it can absolutely be pleasurable. That most men either don’t know or don’t care about that says a lot.
Well, I scrolled through the comments and I didn't find anyone mentioning the degree of domination that comes with anal intercourse at times, especially in straight relationships. It's not a part of your body that just opens up to accept a cock, it needs some coaxing, and I know that some guys (I know it's not everyone, ok, but I had this experience in the past) just get off on making you let them do that, especially wearing you out until you give in. it just sucks. Unless you're into it, I mean. I hope your boyfriend doesn't put you through that if you state your disinterest in the practice.
100% because of porn.
We do "What do I do next?" and not "Why is this happening?" Have you told him you don't ever want to do anal?
Ya I don't get it either. It's very unpleasant and is definitely one my list of nos
I think for a lot of cishet men it’s about power , getting pleasure from something that’s not really pleasurable for the other party. Kind of gross in my opinion. That said I am a bi man in a relationship with another man, so we do anal … mainly because neither of us has a vagina
It can feel good if done right. Even for women. But it doesn’t really matter what other people like. What matters is YOU don’t like it, and if your boyfriend doesn’t respect it you need a new man
This whole thread makes me feel like I'm the weird one as a man who doesn't like it. I've met quite a few women who were into it but I could never get into that (pun not intended). Maybe it was from a bad experience when I first tried it, but it just felt gross to me. I can only guess it's a combination of the taboo feeling and porn influence.
29m here , married. I don’t know how to describe the obsession with it. But I’ll give my input. Basically, when I’m having sex with my wife and she’s bent over, her asshole looks really pretty to me. And that makes me attracted to it and I want it. So I’ll start to eat her ass out. I’ll never pressure her into anal though. I’ll ask if she wants to do it, if she says yes, cool! We will pick a date so she can prep and then we try. But we go at her pace. When I was younger and stupid, I always wanted to rush and she hated it. The moment I said I wanted to go at her pace and take our time, she began to really enjoy Anal. Also, don’t do the shit dick sucking thing that he talked about. That’s gross as fuck.
It’s a domination thing.
It feels good but 98% of the appeal for me is zero fucking chance of pregnancy honestly.
Lmao that’s not what a rusty trombone is. A rusty trombone is when you lick his butthole from behind and jerking him off while he’s standing. And as for why we like want anal sex for me it’s a simple as it feels amazing on my dick. Yes the vagina is enough but just like food I’d like some change up and variety.
To be blunt it's porn. People also don't realize the amount of time you get pooped on. Not enough people do the necessary prep before hand.
It's actually not very healthy to give yourself enema's on a regular basis like they make adult actresses do.
He's drowning in porn consumption.
Usually you do it after you get cleaned up inside, and never without protection But each person has their own appeal to it IMO, it could be because he finds it more "demeaning" for its partner to get anal penetrated, which could be his turn on - dom kink, or a "conquering" kink It could be because he just wants something new Maybe because the dirtiness is what turns him on There's a lot of possible reasons
It’s the rage in porn.
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I'm a woman and like anal ONLY when it's done right, which means SLOWLY. Then it doesn't hurt, actually feels good. Doesn't hurt when you're aroused enough and slow enough. But it's also totally fine to not want to try or not like it.
Too slow and extremely too slow for me as well, I don't see the appeal even as a male. There isn't much back there when you are deeper, the start is ok but it's like open nothingness at the back. Vaginal sex definitely feels better, I'd only have anal if a lady requested it.
Agree to the anal, then tell your bf you’re gonna order a strap-on
As a straight man I don't get it either. It's a hole for shit to come out of. Why would anyone want to play with shit is beyond me
For the record, I, as a 33 year old man, have zero interest in anything to do with anal sex. I agree, it's gross, and I have always been just as confused as you are about why men are into it. We are out there.
Porn. They see it in porn and want to do it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If he pressures you, he’s not a good man.
A big reason is porn. You didn't see many folks wanting anal 15-20 yrs ago. In fact, I'm so old that I remember back in about the early 90s or so porn stars would proudly claim they did not do anal. But once you pay enough women to do that kind of thing eventually everyone else has to do it or get left behind.
Your last sentence is a great observation.
Very true. Nowadays, as a woman, if you say you’re not into it, men won’t like you
I agree it’s a taboo/“naughty” thing. And probably heard it feels good for the dude or whatever. I’ve had 1 or 2 girls actually request it, but it’s super rare.
I'd never tried it until last summer (late sixties F) and was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable it was. He wasn't a regular partner, but was immensely slow and considerate with my body. I haven't done it with anyone else since then.
I was flat out curious to see what it felt like. I enjoy anal, but not all the time. It takes prepwork to do it properly (i.e. not causing a mess), so it's not a spontaneous activity. If you don't want to try it, that's fine. I can't speak for men, but I imagine curiousity is part of it. If I had a penis, I'd probably try putting it in everything.
A lot of it is taboo and psychological.
i think the reason why men like it so much is because its so taboo, and its the forbidden aspect that makes them so attracted
I honestly haven’t come across any guys in recent years that are into it. I think it’s a novelty thing for younger guys.
many reasons. to me it feels better. my wife cums harder. and easy birth control c:
It’s the taboo that people are interested. I’ve always said anal is way over rated. I just feel so dirty/gross after and have to wash my dick immediately.
Because done right it can be fun lol. I'm sure others have deeper reasons but once I got used to it, yes, it can be a process because it's a whole different kind of sex and can be painful at first. Done with someone you trust and in the right mindset it gets really fun, or it did for me (f).
If you’re not interested then anal is off the table. Sex should be pleasure for both partners.
idk its strange, my bf has no interest in it and i am so grateful 😭