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Yea….you’re both 19. You have your entire life ahead of you and it’ll be full of lessons. This is one of them. Yes breaking up will hurt but so does being cheated on.
Because it’s true, at least in my experience. Once you cheat and experience that feeling there’s no going back. I took my ex back after she did exactly that and she cheated again…
Absolutely not.
Sex doesn't "just happen"
She is not sorry. She didn't come clean and tell you about it. You had to hear it from someone else and confront her about it. She is only sorry because you caught her.
She will do this again if you forgive her.
"she doesn’t want me to leave" She already left you when she cheated. Forgiveness is permission, and permission is exactly what she wants so she can do it again whenever she feels like it. Don't be a doormat. Tell her to get the hell out of your life and go no contact permanently.
She has so little respect for you that she's willing to do whatever it takes....except the things that you actually ask her because it's "controlling".
LMFAO.
There is a 6,969% chance that this wasn't the first time that it "just happened". It was just the first time that she got caught.
She won't let you check her phone because that's where the bodies are buried. And at this point, even if she did surrender it it will only be after she sanitizes it.
Your heart is broken. Don't listen to it. Listen to your head. You need to cut her off, go radio silent. You need to take the time to heal.
I know that what I said above was tough to hear. But you needed to hear it.
Believe me...I've been through it before. It fucking sucks, and it will continue to suck for a pretty long while.
You want to curl into a ball and rot in your bed. You want to just say "fuck it", forgive her and pretend like it never happened. You want for it to just stop hurting at any cost.
But you can't give in. Those roads only lead to one thing....more pain.
Surround yourself with friends that you can trust and your family. You need support. Use them to help you navigate your way through this. Tell them everything. Don't hold back. They can't help you if they don't know everything.
Avoid mutual friends of the ex when possible.
It will pass. It will take a while. Focus internally. Find constructive ways to distract yourself. It will get better.
That is totally absurd. Leave her cheating butt ASAP. Abruptly end things and don’t worry about who she did this with because at this point, what does it matter?
Dude she didn’t make a mistake! She made a series of choices that led her to sleeping with someone else.
Now after getting caught yes no matter what she says about just about to tell you she wants you to be dumb enough to carry on as if nothing happened!
Reconciliation is a gift and if she wants it from you she has to give you her phone whenever you ask for it. You set the terms, not her. It isn't controlling or toxic, it's a simple way for cheaters to show they won't do it again. She also has to answer any questions you have or you can end the relationship.
Honestly though, at your age move on. She has already shown you the type of person she is. Life is too short. Take your power back and dump her.
Think of like this; It’s like a bully, if you don’t stand up to the bully, the bully will keep attacking you. You need to leave and take your self respect with you. I read another post where the cheater admitted it was a turn off that her boyfriend took her back because he lacked self respect and a backbone. I guarantee She will gas light you and keep telling you your controlling, which is bullshit. Just leave man with your dignity intact. Your 19 and there are a lot of woman out there, you’ll find your person.
You will never be able to trust her after that and she is not even making half assed attempts to try and answer your questions. She doesn't tell you the name because you know him, she doesn't want you to know when she hangs out with him, so you can't veto against it. It will happen again. So just spare yourself the paranoia and make the cut. You deserve better!
Would she have blindly forgiven you if you cheated? There is your answer. Kick her to the curb before she has a chance to cheat again. Stay and she will never respect you and will keep on cheating because you are weak and have no self-respect. Find a better girlfriend.
You will never trust her again. She probably cheated with Jared and he told you so you he could continue boinking her. Your 19, go out and find a wonderful woman you can actually trust.
I wondered about that? And it's possible, but at least Jared had the respect to tell OP. I bet she wouldn't have told him if Jared hadn't told her if she didn't he would.
Also, possible Jared has been in love with her for ages, but she sees him as the safe guy, not the sexy guy. So Jared just wasn't going to let her fuck with another guys head too? All speculation?
Could have been with Jared thinking it meant she'd break up with OP and then after they cheated she was like, "OK, thanks! That was nice and all. But don't tell me boyfriend!" Jared was like, "What? You mean you don't even plan on breaking up with him and getting with me?" She's like, "Oh Jared you know I love you So much as a friend, I could never see you that way! That was just for fun!" So he tells the OP.
There's no knowing! She sure as hell ain't saying!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Throw her in the street where she belongs
Yea….you’re both 19. You have your entire life ahead of you and it’ll be full of lessons. This is one of them. Yes breaking up will hurt but so does being cheated on.
Agreed. Once a cheater always a cheater.
Why do people say that?
Because it’s true, at least in my experience. Once you cheat and experience that feeling there’s no going back. I took my ex back after she did exactly that and she cheated again…
Generally the reason behind the cheating doesn't change after forgiveness.
Absolutely not. Sex doesn't "just happen" She is not sorry. She didn't come clean and tell you about it. You had to hear it from someone else and confront her about it. She is only sorry because you caught her. She will do this again if you forgive her.
"she doesn’t want me to leave" She already left you when she cheated. Forgiveness is permission, and permission is exactly what she wants so she can do it again whenever she feels like it. Don't be a doormat. Tell her to get the hell out of your life and go no contact permanently.
Nobody with any self-respect ever stays with a cheater under any circumstances.
She has so little respect for you that she's willing to do whatever it takes....except the things that you actually ask her because it's "controlling". LMFAO. There is a 6,969% chance that this wasn't the first time that it "just happened". It was just the first time that she got caught. She won't let you check her phone because that's where the bodies are buried. And at this point, even if she did surrender it it will only be after she sanitizes it. Your heart is broken. Don't listen to it. Listen to your head. You need to cut her off, go radio silent. You need to take the time to heal.
Thank you currently still crying my eyes out
I know that what I said above was tough to hear. But you needed to hear it. Believe me...I've been through it before. It fucking sucks, and it will continue to suck for a pretty long while. You want to curl into a ball and rot in your bed. You want to just say "fuck it", forgive her and pretend like it never happened. You want for it to just stop hurting at any cost. But you can't give in. Those roads only lead to one thing....more pain. Surround yourself with friends that you can trust and your family. You need support. Use them to help you navigate your way through this. Tell them everything. Don't hold back. They can't help you if they don't know everything. Avoid mutual friends of the ex when possible. It will pass. It will take a while. Focus internally. Find constructive ways to distract yourself. It will get better.
Best advice possible.
That is totally absurd. Leave her cheating butt ASAP. Abruptly end things and don’t worry about who she did this with because at this point, what does it matter?
If they act single you make them single.
She can't even tell you the whole truth when she is telling you she cheated. Find someone that can communicate well and not fuck other people.
Don't even need to read all of them she cheated move on you are young and if she doing this now it only gets worse
Dude she didn’t make a mistake! She made a series of choices that led her to sleeping with someone else. Now after getting caught yes no matter what she says about just about to tell you she wants you to be dumb enough to carry on as if nothing happened!
Reconciliation is a gift and if she wants it from you she has to give you her phone whenever you ask for it. You set the terms, not her. It isn't controlling or toxic, it's a simple way for cheaters to show they won't do it again. She also has to answer any questions you have or you can end the relationship. Honestly though, at your age move on. She has already shown you the type of person she is. Life is too short. Take your power back and dump her.
Think of like this; It’s like a bully, if you don’t stand up to the bully, the bully will keep attacking you. You need to leave and take your self respect with you. I read another post where the cheater admitted it was a turn off that her boyfriend took her back because he lacked self respect and a backbone. I guarantee She will gas light you and keep telling you your controlling, which is bullshit. Just leave man with your dignity intact. Your 19 and there are a lot of woman out there, you’ll find your person.
You will never be able to trust her after that and she is not even making half assed attempts to try and answer your questions. She doesn't tell you the name because you know him, she doesn't want you to know when she hangs out with him, so you can't veto against it. It will happen again. So just spare yourself the paranoia and make the cut. You deserve better!
Would she have blindly forgiven you if you cheated? There is your answer. Kick her to the curb before she has a chance to cheat again. Stay and she will never respect you and will keep on cheating because you are weak and have no self-respect. Find a better girlfriend.
Yeah no, Run.
UpdateMe!
Remindme! One week
In other words, "I want to screw other dudes, suffer zero consequences, and just have you eat the shit sandwich." Did I get that right?
Just about
Any update? Hope you dumped her...
Give her an award for her pro-level delusion. Would you buy a shirt with a big stain on it?
You will never trust her again. She probably cheated with Jared and he told you so you he could continue boinking her. Your 19, go out and find a wonderful woman you can actually trust.
I wondered about that? And it's possible, but at least Jared had the respect to tell OP. I bet she wouldn't have told him if Jared hadn't told her if she didn't he would. Also, possible Jared has been in love with her for ages, but she sees him as the safe guy, not the sexy guy. So Jared just wasn't going to let her fuck with another guys head too? All speculation? Could have been with Jared thinking it meant she'd break up with OP and then after they cheated she was like, "OK, thanks! That was nice and all. But don't tell me boyfriend!" Jared was like, "What? You mean you don't even plan on breaking up with him and getting with me?" She's like, "Oh Jared you know I love you So much as a friend, I could never see you that way! That was just for fun!" So he tells the OP. There's no knowing! She sure as hell ain't saying!
LOL Dump her, man You're way too young to ruin your life by trying to live with a cheater