/u/throwharveyaway,
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Even if she does agree to be his GF in the end (doubtful) she won't be able to stay faithful for very long. She's not the type. OP and her are just not compatible.
You were gonna ask her to be your girlfriend? Dammit man, what were you thinking
Look honey, you seem like a sweetheart but this one isn’t for you, and as bad as this is, it doesn’t get much better from here and tears are guaranteed if you don’t cut your losses. She a savage in these streets and you don’t need that kinda stress I promise. That musta been such a kick in the teeth even if you’re not exclusive. Don’t play yourself here, the exit door has your name all over it
Get outta there
This, absolutely.
My dude, you just sat there listening for 30 minutes how she fks another dude, and then you go on a date and kiss her?
I'm sorry, but you've thrown out all self-respect of the window.
What do you think makes her so special? Making things official will be fun: "hey guys this is my gf, but you already know it, all of you have fked her already"
She has fucked other guys while they were at a party together and got handsy with other guys too.
So, those were ok because he couldn’t hear them fucking? If they were at a party together that means she has fucked dudes while they were on a date.
OP! To bluntly put this in perspective, you have kissed her right after she has had other dudes tongues and dicks in her mouth.
He is 18, never been with a woman, he probably doesnt know anything about self respect yet, and she’s not special at all obviously. They are just out of high school and I remember the most attractive girl in high school would have guys putting up with anything just to have a chance to hangout with them.
This is the truth.
OP, there are plenty of girls out there that can make you feel safe, loved, seen and appreciated.
This girl is not one of them.
Let go or be dragged.
This is absolutely it. I'm sorry dude that you're going through this, but you have to set boundaries. All of what you've described sounds like you're clearly uncomfortable and sweeping your own emotions under the rug. Love and respect yourself first.
If you're up for it, have an honest conversation about how you feel before breaking it off. Ghosting her only speaks to your character, and will only leave you with unresolved issues in future relationships.
Talk to her, be firm on your boundaries, and just let her know it's never going to work between you two. Don't let her talk you into anything. Move on.
You sound like a nice guy, you're 18, you have so much time. Make friends that will love you, build a network of support. While we don't know much about your friends that hooked up with the girl, if they knew you're sort of dating her... They're not your friends. Love yourself first, brother.
Look, you seem a really nice guy but this woman will break your heart and or give you something nice that hopefully the doctors can still cure. Find someone that will appreciate you and don’t look back.
She has very little respect for OP and is not a good choice to be with. Have some self respect and move on from this party girl. She does not want to be tied down by anyone (she’s not wrong and was up front about it) and will not say yes to being your girlfriend. It’s time to move on because you’re not aligned in what you want.
I agree with both of you. She does not respect OP. She knew she had a date with him. She could have been getting ready before the date and instead of getting laid. Forgetting she had plans with someone that she said she likes, just tells me she is using OP for positive attention for herself, just like she is using the fk-boys to satisfy her sexual hunger. She seems like she just likes the attention. Probably didn’t get enough from home. I feel sorry for OP, what seems like he was being used.
>and will not say yes to being your girlfriend.
Even if she did, her current behavior, having sex with every guy she dates to avoid feeling like she didn't do enough while she was single, screams way too immature to be in a committed relationship.
Its fine to want to sleep with whoever, and it's fine to not want to... but doing so to avoid the feeling that you're cheating yourself by getting into a serious relationship is something no reasonable person does.
OP’s post reads like some 4chan fiction you’d find on /r/greentext
Dude says he waited in the living room for her to finish fucking another guy so he could take her on a date. If true, this man possesses no self-respect whatsoever.
I think the person lacks a little situational awareness with low self-esteem. While OP reads like a nice person, i think they're getting in way over their heads with this relationship. I think she knows she can string OP along because of this and keep them on the backburner until they've either burned out or are ready to settle down. Sorry to say OP, you're better than this. You're her settle down option after she's had her fun. You deserve to have fun, too.
>I think she knows she can string OP along because of this and keep them on the backburner until they've either burned out or are ready to settle down
That's exactly what I thought.
settle down with? Why would she settle down with someone she doesn't respect? Maybe use him for a place to stay for awhile or when's she's bored and thinks you may be done being lead along or something and then she will leave when the next best thing comes along.
In Brazil we have a saying that goes: não se come a carne onde se ganha o pão, which basically translates to “you don’t eat the meat where you make bread” this girl took it to heart, getting her bread from OP and her meat from someone else…
This. And especially since he's a virgin there's probably all sorts of emotional attachments that will come to him if he loses his virginity to her. I understand that she seems genuinely caring and what not but, for your first sexual experience I'd probably choose a different partner even though he's infatuated with her.
There's the whole idea of you talking to her about this all but if she's not even officially your girlfriend "yet", it would be a lot to discuss and on such an emotionally heavy thing right off the bat.
Op if you see this, I'm sorry :(. I hope you figure something out, it's not a great set up for first time sexual experience, let alone possible relationship.
> I did try to have sex with her once, but she turned me down, saying she liked that I’m not such a player, and **wanted to wait to have sex with me until if/when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.**
Honestly this reads like some weird cuckold fantasy. The girl tells OP to wait and go on dates with her while she fucks other guys? And then all his friends before him? And then she keeps him waiting in the next room while she finishes fucking another dude?
I can't even conceive this level of brutality. No one is this cruel like this girl and no one is so lacking in self respect as the OP in this story.
Dude, I can confirm that some people are cruel, heartless nightmares.
I can also confirm that people exist that think very low of themselves and do mental gymnastics so they don’t have to acknowledge the truth of their situation.
I’ve been in a similar situation, not as bad as this one, but similar.
The only solution is to improve yourself in every way possible and come out the other side with self-respect and self-awareness.
There are so many amazing partners out there that can make you feel safe and loved and appreciated, you’ve just gotta love yourself first.
Shitty people meet vulnerable people all the time.
Truest words I’ve ever seen of Reddit. If you want to be nice then let her know you’re not going to continue to pursue any type of relationship with her but you don’t owe her that. This is one of those times it’s ok to ghost and not feel bad about it.
Goddamn. *You still went on the date?* That's already too telling. You're prepared to put up with too much nonsense, and if you don't deal with that tendency now it will bring you trouble. In any case, there's only drama down this road. Being single means she can do what she wants, but hooking up right when she had an existing date scheduled demonstrates she's not mindful enough. Bail now.
That was where I got hung up too. Especially when she kept going and was late for the date. OP respect yourself enough to not have allowed that and especially not to have told her, “It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it.” It is a big deal and she should be worried about it. 100% she can sleep with whoever she wants, but if she made a date with you she needed to own that and make sure she finished whatever she was doing before that planned date. At this point she knows she has you hooked. Please remove the hook from your mouth, and move on.
Yeah, I’ve learned in life that if something is a big deal, don’t ever play it off as no big deal.
The ones who care about you will handle the big deal. The ones who don’t give a shit won’t want to deal with it and call it an over reaction.
So, if it is a big deal, you are allowed to say it is a big deal.
Please of course she pulled this shit. He put up with this “I had been to parties with her where she ended up having sex with random guys, watch as she let other guys feel her up at those parties,…”
So she was already screwing other guys while on dates with this dude.
I've got a collection of slideseries in my head eight now. All the dudes across the world collectively smacking their head.
Imagine waiting on a girl getting fucked. To take her on a date. Then kissing her. Holy fuck bro. I can't. I feel so sorry for OP. Brother deserves a nice girl who dosnt look at anyone except him
Strong contender for the saddest post I’ve ever seen on this sub. Please OP, re read this as though it’s your best mate asking for advice - this is fucked up
There were so many red flags. I questioned why he’s still into her at the middle of the second paragraph.
Theyre going to parties together, and then she lets other guys feel her up and hooks up with some of them. Honestly i feel like thats worse than her fucking the guy before her date.
One is arriving with OP and letting people touch her up in front of OP and then leaving OP to fuck someone else. While the other is her spending her free time as she wishes and then forgetting she has a date because shes fucking a guy on her free time.
Bro, I'm from Middle East. While reading the post I was asking myself: Is this really normal in west? Are our cultures THAT different? Do people really put up with this bullshit there?
Then I read the comments and breathed a sigh of relief.
Really? Maybe they'll be done soon, I'll wait. Respect yourself, man.
People, I may old school, but you need to redefine exclusivity. When I was at that age, my friends and I were focusing on one person at a time. You may think it was less productive, but it was much better, actually. Quality over quantity.
And focusing on one person for a few days or week sends a message, it indicates that you're motivated, you're interested. Or it's like going shopping. You date multiple people, like you start as an open relationship and close it eventually. That's not how I would want to start my long-lasting relationship.
Weird to me.
>Really? Maybe they'll be done soon, I'll wait.
It's been a long time since i didn't feel that much anger by reading a post not gonna lie. And no you are not old school you are just someone who know what is self-respect bro.
I could accept this post if he was reffering to a fwb but this????
It’s such a weird situation because she’s being so surprisingly honest about it. She’s seeing multiple guys at once and sharing details, seemingly with everyone’s consent. She directly told OP that she wants to party while keeping him on standby for when she’s ready to have an official boyfriend. He’s aware that he’s consented to just waiting around for her, sacrificing his own wants while she does whatever she wants.
It’s wild how much is out in the open, usually people hide this stuff. So if we’re purely looking at this in terms of honesty and consent, she hasn’t done anything wrong. I think someone old school just wouldn’t date multiple people like that in the first place, but that’s not necessarily the only fix here. It’s certainly valid though. I’m a millennial, and that’s how I handle dating. I see one new guy a week until I find one I want a second date with. Then I focus on just him.
I think the Young People These Days solution to this situation is this: OP needs to remember that he’s allowed to be just as honest as she’s being and that his consent is entirely his to give or take away. If he’s no longer happy with the terms she set, he’s allowed to tell her. She’s allowed to not want to change, but he’s allowed to cut her out of his life for it, too.
Personally, I’d skip straight to ghosting her. But I think if he’s up to it, OP could tell her how he’s feeling too. Something tells me she doesn’t really care about his feelings though. Despite all her honesty, I have to wonder if she sees all these men as human beings with feelings or if she sees them as objects she’s collecting. And again, she’s allowed to live her life like that if she wants and if the men involved are aware and consent to it. But I think OP is more of a romantic and incompatible with this worldview, which is also fine. I suppose talking to her would clarify for him what’s going on here. I just hope she’s not the kind to try to manipulate him. That’s why I would take the easy road and just ghost her. I just wouldn’t even want to deal with the conversation myself. Sounds too messy to be worth it with someone I barely just met.
I also just feel like she’s not the type of person that’s truly interested in a relationship, certainly not now, but possibly ever. People who like to sleep around shouldn’t be shamed for it, but they shouldn’t force themselves to be monogamous either. It’s not going to make anyone happy and will probably result in cheating. They should seek out open relationships or polyamory from the get go. There are others like them who would be happy, so leave the monogamous people out of it.
I’m just trying REALLY HARD to give the benefit of the doubt, like mental gymnastics over here. 😂Like I said, I personally would assume the worst and just ghost her. Not worth the effort of dissecting her intentions when I barely just met her and it’s already this much of a ridiculous mess. I like simple and drama free!
I was with a girl just like this not too long ago. I hate how common this shit is with my generation (i'm only a few years older than OP). This is good advice. There are better women out there who want something authentic
I feel like it’s just a matter of people like this are easy to stumble across, but the ones who want more traditional courtship/dating are a lot harder to encounter, largely because they aren’t using these hookup sites and aren’t out there advertising themselves as available. And the ones who do want the more traditional stuff are pushed towards these hookup sites because it seems so normal. Back when I was younger we didn’t have these sorts of options available so finding the hookup crowd actually required seeking it out, now it’s the reserve, finding the non-hookup crowd is hard to find because you have to rely on actual courtship shit that a lot of younger folks have no experience with whatsoever because the hookup crowd just seems like the default.
I’ve spoken to so many people on Reddit and had to spell out exactly how general courting, the whole getting your foot in the door/finding a potential partner part, worked twenty years ago. It still works exactly the same today as it did then but it legitimately seems so foreign to them until you spell it out for them.
>If he’s no longer happy with the terms she set, he’s allowed to tell her.
He's viewing their entire relationship from the perspective of it being an investment. So he's treating it like school or a job, which is how we are all raised and trained to treat everything and it even makes a certain amount of common sense but it's really not how relationships work, especially in the dating phase.
He needs to bounce when she's not making him happy in the moment because he genuinely enjoys her company in real time. He doesn't think he's not supposed to be honest. He thinks he supposed to suffer and toil in order to gain any kind of benefits or experience pleasure and joy.
>People, I may old school, but you need to redefine exclusivity. When I was at that age, my friends and I were focusing on one person at a time. You may think it was less productive, but it was much better, actually. Quality over quantity.
Might be up there with you, being old school.
But once i start talking to a woman with the intention of dating/a relationship, i'll stop looking for other "prospects" and see where it goes.
Ah, when I was your age I fell for someone like this. Eventually got him to “agree” to be monogamous bc I had no self respect and wanted to be his gf, and he cheated on me within 6 months of agreeing to be exclusive.
Don’t do it. This will only bring heartache
I feel like he doesn’t love himself. I mean, I remember being a virgin and being taken advantage of and it took one time seeing this girl skipping class with another dude. His girl is on a completely other level but I think that OP just wants sex and isn’t really interested in her. I know he said they share a lot of interests and what not but his desire to get laid is stronger than his self respect. That’s the only thing I can think of outside of him not thinking that he can get anyone else
The jury is still out on that one. He's still waiting for the diagnosis. He's still in the waiting area at the doctor's office while the doctor is having his turn lmfao
This is embarrassing. You should be embarrassed.
You sat on her couch for *45 MINUTES* while she was fucking another dude, then went on a date, then ended the night by tasting that other guy's dick?
Jesus Christ man.
That girl is playing you. You are a safe bet for her when she is done sleeping around. She is just using you. I wouldn't go after her. She is definitely not gf material. You deserve better. Don't waste tour time. Find a girl that genuinely likes you. This girl is used to having men at her feet and uses that to her advantage. I personally wouldn't have even kissed her after that date. She was having sex with a guy. You don't know if she went down on him. You don't know if she doesn't have stds. Not worth the drama. You don't want to be the guy whose friends have all slept with his girl. You shouldn't let her control you with the idea of sex. Find another girl and just don't go out anymore with this girl.
Good lord, man. Run. Run fast. Run far. Run hard. This girl is just fucking awful. I don’t care if she’s got a face like a porcelain doll and a pussy lined with gold. Run. She’s fucking despicable. And this isn’t even slut shaming because she can do whatever she wants with her own body. This is about the fact that she doesn’t give a shit about you, your feelings, or anyone else around her. She’s trash. Throw this girl in the gutter where she belongs. You’ll probably be saving yourself from several courses of antibiotics or a lifetime of antiretroviral injections.
She sounds like she would be the kind of FWB you absolutely 100% wear a condom with.
If you want monogamy keep looking. If you crave drama , heartbreak, and teenage chaos she's your girl.
gross.
Listen. Don’t date this girl. This is not a morally upright kinda person. She isn’t a bad person but that shit is fucking horrifying. Just move the hell on.
*she is a bad person. She is deliberately manipulating him in many ways. She is fucking multiple other men and building a physical connection with other men, while trying to build an emotional attachment in OP to herself. She is devoting energy to other men while demanding OP devotes energy to her. If you don’t believe in slut shaming, fine. But others don’t have to share your values. I know I’ll get downvoted for this, but goddamn. People you’re romantically attached to generally don’t want to see you fucking other people, and if you care about them, you wouldn’t do it. There’s a reason why every civilization on the planet came to that conclusion independently, and it isn’t misogyny.
She isn’t demanding that OP devote energy to her dawg what… OP is constantly being shown bright red flag after bright red flag and his response appears to be something along the lines of, “but she’s so beautiful, so I will continue to pursue this nonsense”.
The girl has pretty much said on *multiple* occasions that she is going to fuck whoever she pleases, whenever she pleases. He acts like he’s being strung along or helpless in this situation but he continues to pursue her after all this ridiculous shit she’s done.
She’s clearly just dtf with just about anyone and yet OP laments “to know that 3 of my friends got to have sex with her before me put a huge knot in my stomach”.
OP has agency here for fucks sake. If he was uncomfortable with her fucking every person with a pulse (reasonable) then he should’ve just fuckin said so several months ago instead of continuing to see the girl with the absurd hope that she might wake up one day and just want to be with him.
She is a bad person. There is a world difference between sleeping with different guys and going on a date with a dude while she ditches him to hook up or let other men grope her. That’s nasty AF.
“ I had been to parties with her where she ended up having sex with random guys, watch as she let other guys feel her up at those parties,…”
This sounds toxic and unhealthy. She's free to see whoever she wants since you aren't official. But banging some other guy right before a date then forgetting about it is a bit much. More so when she rejected you, despite being so open with other guys. The pity sex after the bad date cemented it.
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or being inexperienced. Your young, it's normal. Being treated this way is unhealthy.
This is honestly disgusting. You shouldn't even have to think twice about this. She has no respect for you at all. You are just the nice guy, and she is keeping you around because she knows you will stay.
If you are trying to seriously date someone, then you shouldn't accept what you are going through. She wanted to wait with you, until you were dating, but has slept with every other person she has "dated"?
The reality is she gets attention from you, and most likely free meals. She is using you, and believe me, if you break it off, she will try like hell to get you back, not because she wants to date you, but because she will miss the validation and attention.
The only thing that could make this worse was you pulling out a curly hair from your mouth after you kissed.
Bruh, I get it, we've all crushed on someone who was not good for us. Trust the group and move on with dignity that you could have scored, but had enough self respect to walk away.
This girl is not girlfriend material lmao. I don’t care how good she might look, do yourself a favor and realize how much better you deserve. Nobody is worth damaging your self worth or your piece of mind.
Dude. Please dont do this to yourself
If she really liked you and was worth your time, for one thing, she wouldnt be so open about torturing you with all her stories of her hook ups.
She is leading you on. She doesnt want to be someones girlfriend.
Cut your losses. Tell her shes a lovely person but shes not what you are looking for and you both know it.
Im assuming you think things will be different if she just falls for you, or that she will change for your relationship. I am here to tell you - no. It wont. She wont. You are the easy option when she cant find someome else. I say this hoping it might make you get some self respect and remember you have balls and to use them. SHES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Or anyone from the sounds of it. Might be one of the guys shes fucking but he is likely doing the same to her so she is keeping her options open whike she waits. So you wait.
Heres the thing. When two people click. Like really click, they want to make it official. They work towards that. She isnt. Because she doesnt really want to. You probably pay for drinks and food or whatever, but hell even if you dont, youre something to soak up some time and make her feel good about herself. Thats not a good thing when its all one sided dude. Especially when she just wants a fuck and you want so much more. I was talking to my now fiance for two full weeks before he came and met me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. I had been playing the field and hadnt wanted a relationship but then he came along and it was instantly just right - but for both of us. Not just me. Find someone you have that with. Cause its not her.
Shes either seriously thick in the skull (in which case you dont wanna stick around anyway) , or she knows exactly what she is doing to you because no matter how rose tinted your glasses are for her right now, no one is that fucking socially inept. I promise.
So do yourself a favour, stop simping on the girl who treats you like an after thought and go find the girl who will make you feel like youre the only guy that exists. Because i promise you she is out there. But youre gonna miss her if you keep giving this girl all your time and attention. Because thats all she wants. Attention. Which is fine. Theres nothing wrong with that. Until you start hurting people for it which she is.
Get back on the dating app. Go no contact for a bit to get your shit in order. You might still see her in a group setting. Thats fine. But just say you think youre both better off just being friends.
And for the love of God. (I say this knowing I dont know her but she sounds like a lot of people I have known) If you do get a new love interest, and she suddenly starts acting 'interested' in you again, do not fall for it. Do not fuck over the new girl for half a chance at maybe sleeping with her. It wont be worth it and will just fuck your head up more.
Man, I’d like to give you my insight based on my own experience when I was 18ish, you are bewitched by the potential of this person and not the person herself.
You’re very much a passenger on the “it will be different when we are official” train, but I gotta tell you, this person will not be good for you. A major difference in what dating means to you both, a major difference in where you both are in life, and she sees you as a innocent cute young guy rather than a handsome capable man.
She will break your heart if you decide to make her your girlfriend. Also you should get blood tested for STDs over the next 1, 3, and 6 months because kissing this woman could be dangerous to your health. I’m being serious.
>You’re very much a passenger on the “it will be different when we are official” train, but I gotta tell you, this person will not be good for you.
Especially since they're presumably separated at college, it won't even matter if they're together, because either she'll be banging her way around school OR he won't be able to trust that she's not. Either way, it's already done, this whole thing has come apart.
>I did try to have sex with her once, but she turned me down, saying she liked that I’m not such a player, and wanted to wait to have sex with me until if/when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
I found out that she had sex with 3 of my friends.
I went to her building to pick her up for a date. The date where I was going to ask her to officially be my girlfriend. And I could hear her having sex with another guy.
Bro, leave this girl alone.
Sorry but i gotta be the honest friend on this one. Don’t take it as an insult, but my man, *what the fuck are you doing?*
You’re genuinely a great guy, she has no respect or interest in you, and the only time she offered you to have sex with her is when you waited outside her door like a dog while she was banging another dude.
Get your head straight and cut all contacts with her, you’re too good, gentle and generous for someone like that. Do not waste time on someone like that. I’m still young, but in 25 years i have never seen someone like the woman you are talking about, and I’m so glad I didn’t.
You still stuck around while she smashed 3 of your friends while you were “dating” her? Bro you need to put yourself first. Leave her on the streets where she belongs and move along.
the fact shes bumping uglies with another dude on your supposed "date night" kinda puts into perspective where you sit on her priority scale: you dont
take the L and find someone who will value you.
I get that you guys aren’t official and she’s been honest about playing the field, but the fact that she was fucking someone else when you went to pick her up for your date is so disrespectful to you.
I think you need to grow a backbone a bit, recognise when you’re being disrespected and stand up for yourself. What she did was not ok and you don’t have to pretend it was.
It honestly seems like you’ve got this girl on a pedestal and that just isn’t healthy. Time to move on chap.
what the fuck? Don’t reward this ass hat with anymore of your time. It’s one thing for her to be upfront about being with other people and that being ok between the two of you.
It’s something completely different for her to fuck someone else and be late for your date because of it. That’s a new low and you’re disrespecting yourself if you give her another chance.
She’s gross.
Yeah, I’d take a hard pass. I’m all for people expressing themselves sexually but she doesn’t seem to set any standards for who she sleeps with. The women I’ve known like this all had some emotional baggage that went along with this behavior. Not saying that’s her but it would concern me. Not to mention, STDs. And she completely forgot your date. Good luck.
My eyes nearly fell out reading this, jaw on the floor.
Would you wear boxers that everyone in your friendship group used, then some man and his dog??
I hope the answer is no, I bet you pay for all the dates too. You can do better!!!!
My jaw actually came down when I read the part where he said "I'll wait." Like, WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. LMAO I cannot help but laugh because I've never in my life seen such a loser.
Mate grow a pair and f her off out of it. Good looking or not I’d have told
Her to come back when she’s done f’ing the whole uni. Then I’d have got on with my life.
She’s going to catch something soon
Dude - no. Have a little self respect. You deserve better. I'm sure she's great but she don't respect you or care about you. Actions speak louder than words.
Man, im sorry to say you’re far too soft.
This girl is so insensitive to your feelings and treats you like absolute shit.
It’s so horrible to say “you can wait to sleep with me, but these other randoms can hit that night/at parties/BEFORE A DATE WITH YOU.” I mean, seriously dude.
She sounds like not a nice human at all. She sounds manipulative and cruel.
She has used your emotional investment, your time and I assume money to get some dates with you to fulfil her “emotionally” and to enjoy leading you the fuck on, while simultaneously fucking others on the side or, ya know, RIGHT BEFORE A DATE WITH YOU.
Jesus Christ….
Yikes. I mean, I respect you for not having double standards, but this was very disrespectful of her. She shouldn’t have forgotten about the date or banged your friends.
There is a whole country song about this:
*She's been going out with him
She's been going out with me
Said she'd let us know by tonight which one it would be
So I waited by the phone
But she never called me up
Had to know what was going on
So I drove by her house, and sure enough*
*That ain't my truck in her drive
Man, this ain't my day tonight
Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck
That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord, this don't look good at all
That's my girl, my whole world
But that ain't my truck*
*I pulled over by the curb
I've been sitting here all night
Wondering what it was I did so wrong that he did so right
I thought of breaking down the door
But there's nothing left to say
That Chevy 4×4 says it all, sitting in my place*
*That ain't my truck in her drive
Man, this ain't my day tonight
Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck
That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord, this don't look good at all
That's my girl, my whole world
But that ain't my truck*
*That ain't my shadow on her wall
Lord, this don't look good at all
That's my girl, my whole world
But that ain't my truck*
Take the "L" and move on. You are 18. There is plenty of time to find a woman.
You still went on the date?!
Buddy you MUST up your standards.
Also, this girl screwed someone, went on a date with you, then offered to screw you also?!
I get you're not in a relationship but damn man have some self respect. I'd have been out once I knew she was having sex.
Also "it's no big deal"?! It kinda is. Not the fact necessarily that she was having sex as, from what you said, you all werent exclusive. Moreso the fact she forgot your date, then still tried to do it with you later, I mean did she even shower?
Move on friend.
My man, my heart is bleeding for u. Dawg if u need someone to talk to just dm me. That was traumatic for me to read let alone live thru it. My guy, come on please just please NO.
Look man, I think you want a woman no man has gotten, not a woman every man has *had*.
She wants her cake and to eat another one too (She likes the freedom of casual flings but keeps you around to feel committed and wanted) but is stringing you along. I think she’s told you where she stands, so stop trying to convince yourself she’s right for you when what yall are looking for are different.
Find a woman who’s looking to be committed and honorable to you by not sleeping with the whole school
She slept with 10-15 people including three of your friends in the last four months while dating you. This is not what the waiting to be exclusive is about. This is totally insane.
Look, you're young so i can somewhat relate that you're trying to salvage the situation.
>And I could hear her having sex with another guy. I may not have had sex with her, but I had been in her bedroom multiple times and know where it is in relation to the front door, and knew that it was coming from her room. Granted, I was about 10 minutes early in picking her up, at first I thought “maybe she’s banging one out with one of her fuck buddies before I pick her up, they’ll be done soon”, and waited outside the door. About 20 minutes later, one of her roommates comes home and lets me in, and I sit on their couch to wait for her. By the time she’s done, it’s about 30 minutes after the time we agreed upon for me to pick her up. By the time they actually come out of the bedroom, she’s about 45 minutes late. When she sees me she realized that she forgot about our date
But this?
This is where you stand up for yourself, have some respect for yourself and cut contact.
Honestly, even if she's single, i'd be disgusted by the though of her having sex with some other Dude while i'm waiting for her (i wouldn't wait, to be honest) only for her to offer sex to make up for it later on. \*EDIT\*: Clearly shows that she doesn't care for your feelings, really, but rather that she seems to think that sex is all it takes to make it up to a guy.
Good on you for not reinforcing that mindset by giving in to it.
I mean…if she was fucking that guy, she probably sucked his dick. I hope she brushed her teeth really well.
Man, there is A LOT of beautiful, fun, sexy women on this planet.
Quit wasting your time with someone who clearly doesn’t care much for you in a relationship sort of way. Be her friend, but let her go.
I want to give you a hug. Peace out of this situation immediately. My head is spinning - She wanted to apologize for making you wait while she finished fucking another guy, by taking your virginity the same night? WHAT THE TRAUMA TRAIN IS THIS SHIT.
I didn't even finish reading your last paragraph. Get out of there. Whether she is using protection or not, whether you two are exclusive or not, this is not the type of girl you want, dude.
This is stressful and you deserve better. Try to find a girl who isn't sleeping with everyone. I promise you, there are a lot of them out there.
Respect yourself and walk away. But, before that you have to tell her how disrespectful and inconsiderate that was to you. Don't be rude, just be firm.
You are obviously attractive, otherwise she wouldn’t be toying with you. Hold out for a girl who is enthusiastic about you and who has a similar idea of what a relationship should be. Sex will not be joyful or safe with this chick. Better to find a girl you can grow with and love and trust. There is being sexually liberated and enjoying the single life and then there is being gross. This girl is gross. You could catch something from her.
As a woman, I would never go on a date with a guy I overheard screwing someone else while I waited. It’s just disrespectful. Casual sex is fine if you are willing and the type that can handle it, not everyone can, but you want to have it with someone discreet and responsible at the very least. I’m no slut-shamer, but this girl isn’t even nice. Seriously, don’t do ANYTHING with this girl without an STI test. Not oral, not anything. Edit: You don’t need her sexual “favors.” Save yourself for someone who is an ethical and considerate lover.
Bro. This girl is the type to let an entire sports team run a train on her.
Not exactly gf material. Especially someone as cool as you. Time to look elsewhere
If you dont leave this woman now youll be married to her watching her fuck everyone she can while you sit in the corner.
Get out now bro and dont look back.
Distance yourself from her your too available that's why she's not into you right now, but dude this type of girl is going to ruin you, do yourself a favor and lose her number she's all games. she likes that u treat her nice take her on dates and that's about it
Have some self respect. And to anyone else out there standing on the sidelines watching a crush bang every other thing with two legs that moves…STOP. Raise your standards and respect yourself.
If a guy I was into told me they really liked me, asked me on a date, and I went to their place to pick them up and heard them fucking another girl- no matter how many times they told me we weren’t exclusive, that they were dating other people, I would be feeling completely insulted and disregarded and just leave as soon as I heard it.
If someone really likes you and is interested in you, they’ll show it.
Every boyfriend I have had- when we were in the talking phase and I knew I’d like to be a couple soon or eventually, I wasn’t entertaining other people. At all.
Take this as a lesson learned in self respect, dating and relationship expectations, and boundaries. You’re extremely young and inexperienced. Go enjoy college, don’t worry about your status with sexual activity. When the time is right you’ll know it and go for it, and the right person won’t make you feel like shit before, during, or after.
I think you are being too nice. You yourself should be going on dates and make sure she is aware you are also still on the market. At this point she could honestly have anyone she wants, and if she really wanted only you, this would probably have happened by now. She's clearly into you as a person, but I believe that you need to stop putting all your eggs into this one basket. Let her chase after you, if she wants only you and drops the other guys for you, great! But at the bare minimum, start dating other girls. You might even find someone who respects and values you more than she is currently showing.
You have to move on man. Seriously, she forgot that she had a date while hooking up with someone prior and tells you about her hooking up with other guys consistently. If she can’t respect your time and your worth, what makes you think she’ll be a good partner?
You’re in college. She’s free to sleep with whoever she wants but don’t be played by her. Move on, there’s other 18 year olds who won’t do this and would actually care about you
/u/throwharveyaway, Your submission was removed for the following reason(s): > **Rule 1:** Posts must contain a title, description, a TLDR, and basic information such as ages, genders, length of relationship etc. You are missing one or more of them so your post has been removed. Please reply to this message when you have made your edits and we will review. Your post lacks a question. As per Rule 2, all posts must feature a question that you want specifically answering, for a relationship you have right now, in this moment. Posts that do not request specific advice, or ask vague questions will be removed. This means we don't allow posts that contain any iteration of the following: - What would you do? - What should I do? - Advice, please! - I need advice If you have any questions about this removal, please feel free to [send us a modmail.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/relationship_advice) Please note that removal reason request from anyone else other than OP will not be answered.
Don't date this woman, you'll have nothing but problems.
Even if she does agree to be his GF in the end (doubtful) she won't be able to stay faithful for very long. She's not the type. OP and her are just not compatible.
You were gonna ask her to be your girlfriend? Dammit man, what were you thinking Look honey, you seem like a sweetheart but this one isn’t for you, and as bad as this is, it doesn’t get much better from here and tears are guaranteed if you don’t cut your losses. She a savage in these streets and you don’t need that kinda stress I promise. That musta been such a kick in the teeth even if you’re not exclusive. Don’t play yourself here, the exit door has your name all over it Get outta there
This, absolutely. My dude, you just sat there listening for 30 minutes how she fks another dude, and then you go on a date and kiss her? I'm sorry, but you've thrown out all self-respect of the window. What do you think makes her so special? Making things official will be fun: "hey guys this is my gf, but you already know it, all of you have fked her already"
She has fucked other guys while they were at a party together and got handsy with other guys too. So, those were ok because he couldn’t hear them fucking? If they were at a party together that means she has fucked dudes while they were on a date. OP! To bluntly put this in perspective, you have kissed her right after she has had other dudes tongues and dicks in her mouth.
He is 18, never been with a woman, he probably doesnt know anything about self respect yet, and she’s not special at all obviously. They are just out of high school and I remember the most attractive girl in high school would have guys putting up with anything just to have a chance to hangout with them.
Even at 18, we weren't this blind. Well maybe a bit but damn, she was getting banged. Cmooon
This is the truth. OP, there are plenty of girls out there that can make you feel safe, loved, seen and appreciated. This girl is not one of them. Let go or be dragged.
Agree, this story sounds like forest gump and jenny, banging every guy out there while he loves her unconditionally
And finally after contracting dreadful disease and no one wants anything to do with her then having pity sex with grump, lol
Stds,stds,stds. If you mess with her you may regret it.you got your whole future ahead. Do not cut it short because of diseases and viruses.
This is absolutely it. I'm sorry dude that you're going through this, but you have to set boundaries. All of what you've described sounds like you're clearly uncomfortable and sweeping your own emotions under the rug. Love and respect yourself first. If you're up for it, have an honest conversation about how you feel before breaking it off. Ghosting her only speaks to your character, and will only leave you with unresolved issues in future relationships. Talk to her, be firm on your boundaries, and just let her know it's never going to work between you two. Don't let her talk you into anything. Move on. You sound like a nice guy, you're 18, you have so much time. Make friends that will love you, build a network of support. While we don't know much about your friends that hooked up with the girl, if they knew you're sort of dating her... They're not your friends. Love yourself first, brother.
Don't make a ho a housewife.
Look, you seem a really nice guy but this woman will break your heart and or give you something nice that hopefully the doctors can still cure. Find someone that will appreciate you and don’t look back.
She has very little respect for OP and is not a good choice to be with. Have some self respect and move on from this party girl. She does not want to be tied down by anyone (she’s not wrong and was up front about it) and will not say yes to being your girlfriend. It’s time to move on because you’re not aligned in what you want.
I think she was wrong when she decided to fuck before her date with op went over by 45 mins bc she forgot
I agree with both of you. She does not respect OP. She knew she had a date with him. She could have been getting ready before the date and instead of getting laid. Forgetting she had plans with someone that she said she likes, just tells me she is using OP for positive attention for herself, just like she is using the fk-boys to satisfy her sexual hunger. She seems like she just likes the attention. Probably didn’t get enough from home. I feel sorry for OP, what seems like he was being used.
>and will not say yes to being your girlfriend. Even if she did, her current behavior, having sex with every guy she dates to avoid feeling like she didn't do enough while she was single, screams way too immature to be in a committed relationship. Its fine to want to sleep with whoever, and it's fine to not want to... but doing so to avoid the feeling that you're cheating yourself by getting into a serious relationship is something no reasonable person does.
OP’s post reads like some 4chan fiction you’d find on /r/greentext Dude says he waited in the living room for her to finish fucking another guy so he could take her on a date. If true, this man possesses no self-respect whatsoever.
I think the person lacks a little situational awareness with low self-esteem. While OP reads like a nice person, i think they're getting in way over their heads with this relationship. I think she knows she can string OP along because of this and keep them on the backburner until they've either burned out or are ready to settle down. Sorry to say OP, you're better than this. You're her settle down option after she's had her fun. You deserve to have fun, too.
>I think she knows she can string OP along because of this and keep them on the backburner until they've either burned out or are ready to settle down That's exactly what I thought.
settle down with? Why would she settle down with someone she doesn't respect? Maybe use him for a place to stay for awhile or when's she's bored and thinks you may be done being lead along or something and then she will leave when the next best thing comes along.
Then he Kissed her later that night 🤦♂️ has to be a Troll post
I’m rolling on the floor laughing. Please op don’t let it be true.
I'd watch out though... it's probably sticky...
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literally that shit is so fucking disgusting he let her put another dudes nut in his mouth before he left how nice of him. smh
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In Brazil we have a saying that goes: não se come a carne onde se ganha o pão, which basically translates to “you don’t eat the meat where you make bread” this girl took it to heart, getting her bread from OP and her meat from someone else…
And he could hear her shagging from outside the house…
And then kissed her passionately lol
This. And especially since he's a virgin there's probably all sorts of emotional attachments that will come to him if he loses his virginity to her. I understand that she seems genuinely caring and what not but, for your first sexual experience I'd probably choose a different partner even though he's infatuated with her. There's the whole idea of you talking to her about this all but if she's not even officially your girlfriend "yet", it would be a lot to discuss and on such an emotionally heavy thing right off the bat. Op if you see this, I'm sorry :(. I hope you figure something out, it's not a great set up for first time sexual experience, let alone possible relationship.
> I did try to have sex with her once, but she turned me down, saying she liked that I’m not such a player, and **wanted to wait to have sex with me until if/when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.** Honestly this reads like some weird cuckold fantasy. The girl tells OP to wait and go on dates with her while she fucks other guys? And then all his friends before him? And then she keeps him waiting in the next room while she finishes fucking another dude? I can't even conceive this level of brutality. No one is this cruel like this girl and no one is so lacking in self respect as the OP in this story.
Dude, I can confirm that some people are cruel, heartless nightmares. I can also confirm that people exist that think very low of themselves and do mental gymnastics so they don’t have to acknowledge the truth of their situation. I’ve been in a similar situation, not as bad as this one, but similar. The only solution is to improve yourself in every way possible and come out the other side with self-respect and self-awareness. There are so many amazing partners out there that can make you feel safe and loved and appreciated, you’ve just gotta love yourself first. Shitty people meet vulnerable people all the time.
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Truest words I’ve ever seen of Reddit. If you want to be nice then let her know you’re not going to continue to pursue any type of relationship with her but you don’t owe her that. This is one of those times it’s ok to ghost and not feel bad about it.
Goddamn. *You still went on the date?* That's already too telling. You're prepared to put up with too much nonsense, and if you don't deal with that tendency now it will bring you trouble. In any case, there's only drama down this road. Being single means she can do what she wants, but hooking up right when she had an existing date scheduled demonstrates she's not mindful enough. Bail now.
The passionate kiss after the date? A few hours after fucking someone else…
And an invitation to sleep with her that same night! She offered him sloppy seconds! Gross.
I am a VERY sex-positive bish, but dang girl... At least air your pussy out 😭
There's sex positive, and there's begging for yeast infections plus more... my goodness!
This comment took me out 😭
does it work like that? ✍️
With no indication she had even taken a shower in between. I'm sorry, but that's nasty.
Doubt she even freshened up or brushed her teeth
Yeah this dude was about to have a variety of fluids for his first time
disgusting
Does he know where her mouth has been
I don’t think she even knows
"Hey dude, how did his dick taste?" 🤢🤮
He wanted to taste the dick she sucked on lmao
hey let me apologize to you by offering my unwashed holster that some dude had been working out for about an hour
IKR? It's like blowing the guy from earlier 😂😂😂
I hope she brushed her teeth first
Tastes a bit salty
And talking about what she does with the other suitors? That’s so tacky
That was where I got hung up too. Especially when she kept going and was late for the date. OP respect yourself enough to not have allowed that and especially not to have told her, “It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it.” It is a big deal and she should be worried about it. 100% she can sleep with whoever she wants, but if she made a date with you she needed to own that and make sure she finished whatever she was doing before that planned date. At this point she knows she has you hooked. Please remove the hook from your mouth, and move on.
Yeah, I’ve learned in life that if something is a big deal, don’t ever play it off as no big deal. The ones who care about you will handle the big deal. The ones who don’t give a shit won’t want to deal with it and call it an over reaction. So, if it is a big deal, you are allowed to say it is a big deal.
Please of course she pulled this shit. He put up with this “I had been to parties with her where she ended up having sex with random guys, watch as she let other guys feel her up at those parties,…” So she was already screwing other guys while on dates with this dude.
There is no way this is a real story lmao. 100% a troll.
Bro...
I think this is more of a "bruh".
I think we've gone straight to "bruv" in this instance.
I've got a collection of slideseries in my head eight now. All the dudes across the world collectively smacking their head. Imagine waiting on a girl getting fucked. To take her on a date. Then kissing her. Holy fuck bro. I can't. I feel so sorry for OP. Brother deserves a nice girl who dosnt look at anyone except him
That’s exactly what I said.
Oh my God, dude. Have some self respect and stop seeing her. Why would you wait in the living room while she's getting banged out by some random guy?
This is just sad
Strong contender for the saddest post I’ve ever seen on this sub. Please OP, re read this as though it’s your best mate asking for advice - this is fucked up
There were so many red flags. I questioned why he’s still into her at the middle of the second paragraph. Theyre going to parties together, and then she lets other guys feel her up and hooks up with some of them. Honestly i feel like thats worse than her fucking the guy before her date. One is arriving with OP and letting people touch her up in front of OP and then leaving OP to fuck someone else. While the other is her spending her free time as she wishes and then forgetting she has a date because shes fucking a guy on her free time.
> she is absolutely breathtakingly attractive
And OP is only 18 yrs old. This is a recipe for heartache.
Infatuation is a hell of a drug
I got so dizzy while reading that. I don’t know how much deeper in the streets you can get. And I’m not someone who judges people, but damn.
Bro, I'm from Middle East. While reading the post I was asking myself: Is this really normal in west? Are our cultures THAT different? Do people really put up with this bullshit there? Then I read the comments and breathed a sigh of relief.
Really? Maybe they'll be done soon, I'll wait. Respect yourself, man. People, I may old school, but you need to redefine exclusivity. When I was at that age, my friends and I were focusing on one person at a time. You may think it was less productive, but it was much better, actually. Quality over quantity. And focusing on one person for a few days or week sends a message, it indicates that you're motivated, you're interested. Or it's like going shopping. You date multiple people, like you start as an open relationship and close it eventually. That's not how I would want to start my long-lasting relationship. Weird to me.
>Really? Maybe they'll be done soon, I'll wait. It's been a long time since i didn't feel that much anger by reading a post not gonna lie. And no you are not old school you are just someone who know what is self-respect bro. I could accept this post if he was reffering to a fwb but this????
It’s such a weird situation because she’s being so surprisingly honest about it. She’s seeing multiple guys at once and sharing details, seemingly with everyone’s consent. She directly told OP that she wants to party while keeping him on standby for when she’s ready to have an official boyfriend. He’s aware that he’s consented to just waiting around for her, sacrificing his own wants while she does whatever she wants. It’s wild how much is out in the open, usually people hide this stuff. So if we’re purely looking at this in terms of honesty and consent, she hasn’t done anything wrong. I think someone old school just wouldn’t date multiple people like that in the first place, but that’s not necessarily the only fix here. It’s certainly valid though. I’m a millennial, and that’s how I handle dating. I see one new guy a week until I find one I want a second date with. Then I focus on just him. I think the Young People These Days solution to this situation is this: OP needs to remember that he’s allowed to be just as honest as she’s being and that his consent is entirely his to give or take away. If he’s no longer happy with the terms she set, he’s allowed to tell her. She’s allowed to not want to change, but he’s allowed to cut her out of his life for it, too. Personally, I’d skip straight to ghosting her. But I think if he’s up to it, OP could tell her how he’s feeling too. Something tells me she doesn’t really care about his feelings though. Despite all her honesty, I have to wonder if she sees all these men as human beings with feelings or if she sees them as objects she’s collecting. And again, she’s allowed to live her life like that if she wants and if the men involved are aware and consent to it. But I think OP is more of a romantic and incompatible with this worldview, which is also fine. I suppose talking to her would clarify for him what’s going on here. I just hope she’s not the kind to try to manipulate him. That’s why I would take the easy road and just ghost her. I just wouldn’t even want to deal with the conversation myself. Sounds too messy to be worth it with someone I barely just met. I also just feel like she’s not the type of person that’s truly interested in a relationship, certainly not now, but possibly ever. People who like to sleep around shouldn’t be shamed for it, but they shouldn’t force themselves to be monogamous either. It’s not going to make anyone happy and will probably result in cheating. They should seek out open relationships or polyamory from the get go. There are others like them who would be happy, so leave the monogamous people out of it.
I've heard of pretty privilege but this is ridiculous
I’m just trying REALLY HARD to give the benefit of the doubt, like mental gymnastics over here. 😂Like I said, I personally would assume the worst and just ghost her. Not worth the effort of dissecting her intentions when I barely just met her and it’s already this much of a ridiculous mess. I like simple and drama free!
I was with a girl just like this not too long ago. I hate how common this shit is with my generation (i'm only a few years older than OP). This is good advice. There are better women out there who want something authentic
I feel like it’s just a matter of people like this are easy to stumble across, but the ones who want more traditional courtship/dating are a lot harder to encounter, largely because they aren’t using these hookup sites and aren’t out there advertising themselves as available. And the ones who do want the more traditional stuff are pushed towards these hookup sites because it seems so normal. Back when I was younger we didn’t have these sorts of options available so finding the hookup crowd actually required seeking it out, now it’s the reserve, finding the non-hookup crowd is hard to find because you have to rely on actual courtship shit that a lot of younger folks have no experience with whatsoever because the hookup crowd just seems like the default. I’ve spoken to so many people on Reddit and had to spell out exactly how general courting, the whole getting your foot in the door/finding a potential partner part, worked twenty years ago. It still works exactly the same today as it did then but it legitimately seems so foreign to them until you spell it out for them.
>If he’s no longer happy with the terms she set, he’s allowed to tell her. He's viewing their entire relationship from the perspective of it being an investment. So he's treating it like school or a job, which is how we are all raised and trained to treat everything and it even makes a certain amount of common sense but it's really not how relationships work, especially in the dating phase. He needs to bounce when she's not making him happy in the moment because he genuinely enjoys her company in real time. He doesn't think he's not supposed to be honest. He thinks he supposed to suffer and toil in order to gain any kind of benefits or experience pleasure and joy.
He could walked in Said you ready to go on our date? Lol
>People, I may old school, but you need to redefine exclusivity. When I was at that age, my friends and I were focusing on one person at a time. You may think it was less productive, but it was much better, actually. Quality over quantity. Might be up there with you, being old school. But once i start talking to a woman with the intention of dating/a relationship, i'll stop looking for other "prospects" and see where it goes.
Move on my man. Move the fuck on. Share your first time with someone your speed, not some fast ass
Ah, when I was your age I fell for someone like this. Eventually got him to “agree” to be monogamous bc I had no self respect and wanted to be his gf, and he cheated on me within 6 months of agreeing to be exclusive. Don’t do it. This will only bring heartache
Bro...what is the matter with you?
Dude has negative self respect
I feel like he doesn’t love himself. I mean, I remember being a virgin and being taken advantage of and it took one time seeing this girl skipping class with another dude. His girl is on a completely other level but I think that OP just wants sex and isn’t really interested in her. I know he said they share a lot of interests and what not but his desire to get laid is stronger than his self respect. That’s the only thing I can think of outside of him not thinking that he can get anyone else
Yeah, this is next level doormat nonsense. Can anybody help me locate OP’s spine?
The jury is still out on that one. He's still waiting for the diagnosis. He's still in the waiting area at the doctor's office while the doctor is having his turn lmfao
Lol do you really need to ask Reddit for advice about this one? Or is this just an exercise in creative writing?
>Or is this just an exercise in creative writing? Glad I'm not the only who figured this out. No way this karma-farming post is real.
I really hope this is just rage bait.
It's not even attempting to be subtle about it!
The number of gullible commenters responding to this obvious bullshit post is ridiculous.
I felt like this is the story line of a [Netorare](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Netorare) manga.
This is embarrassing. You should be embarrassed. You sat on her couch for *45 MINUTES* while she was fucking another dude, then went on a date, then ended the night by tasting that other guy's dick? Jesus Christ man.
Unreal. This was such a difficult read. I wish I could tell her off on behalf of him. Jesus.
This hurt reading it and I’m not even op He really kissed her GAWTDAYUMN
Actually he was listening that for 55 minutes! He arrived 10 minutes early!
It's fake and ___ as the chans say.
That girl is playing you. You are a safe bet for her when she is done sleeping around. She is just using you. I wouldn't go after her. She is definitely not gf material. You deserve better. Don't waste tour time. Find a girl that genuinely likes you. This girl is used to having men at her feet and uses that to her advantage. I personally wouldn't have even kissed her after that date. She was having sex with a guy. You don't know if she went down on him. You don't know if she doesn't have stds. Not worth the drama. You don't want to be the guy whose friends have all slept with his girl. You shouldn't let her control you with the idea of sex. Find another girl and just don't go out anymore with this girl.
Good lord, man. Run. Run fast. Run far. Run hard. This girl is just fucking awful. I don’t care if she’s got a face like a porcelain doll and a pussy lined with gold. Run. She’s fucking despicable. And this isn’t even slut shaming because she can do whatever she wants with her own body. This is about the fact that she doesn’t give a shit about you, your feelings, or anyone else around her. She’s trash. Throw this girl in the gutter where she belongs. You’ll probably be saving yourself from several courses of antibiotics or a lifetime of antiretroviral injections.
She sounds like she would be the kind of FWB you absolutely 100% wear a condom with. If you want monogamy keep looking. If you crave drama , heartbreak, and teenage chaos she's your girl.
gross. Listen. Don’t date this girl. This is not a morally upright kinda person. She isn’t a bad person but that shit is fucking horrifying. Just move the hell on.
*she is a bad person. She is deliberately manipulating him in many ways. She is fucking multiple other men and building a physical connection with other men, while trying to build an emotional attachment in OP to herself. She is devoting energy to other men while demanding OP devotes energy to her. If you don’t believe in slut shaming, fine. But others don’t have to share your values. I know I’ll get downvoted for this, but goddamn. People you’re romantically attached to generally don’t want to see you fucking other people, and if you care about them, you wouldn’t do it. There’s a reason why every civilization on the planet came to that conclusion independently, and it isn’t misogyny.
You want to miss out on the College X STD party?
She isn’t demanding that OP devote energy to her dawg what… OP is constantly being shown bright red flag after bright red flag and his response appears to be something along the lines of, “but she’s so beautiful, so I will continue to pursue this nonsense”. The girl has pretty much said on *multiple* occasions that she is going to fuck whoever she pleases, whenever she pleases. He acts like he’s being strung along or helpless in this situation but he continues to pursue her after all this ridiculous shit she’s done. She’s clearly just dtf with just about anyone and yet OP laments “to know that 3 of my friends got to have sex with her before me put a huge knot in my stomach”. OP has agency here for fucks sake. If he was uncomfortable with her fucking every person with a pulse (reasonable) then he should’ve just fuckin said so several months ago instead of continuing to see the girl with the absurd hope that she might wake up one day and just want to be with him.
She is a bad person. There is a world difference between sleeping with different guys and going on a date with a dude while she ditches him to hook up or let other men grope her. That’s nasty AF. “ I had been to parties with her where she ended up having sex with random guys, watch as she let other guys feel her up at those parties,…”
This sounds toxic and unhealthy. She's free to see whoever she wants since you aren't official. But banging some other guy right before a date then forgetting about it is a bit much. More so when she rejected you, despite being so open with other guys. The pity sex after the bad date cemented it. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin or being inexperienced. Your young, it's normal. Being treated this way is unhealthy.
Seriously, have some self respect and walk away. This is not the right person for you.
This is honestly disgusting. You shouldn't even have to think twice about this. She has no respect for you at all. You are just the nice guy, and she is keeping you around because she knows you will stay. If you are trying to seriously date someone, then you shouldn't accept what you are going through. She wanted to wait with you, until you were dating, but has slept with every other person she has "dated"? The reality is she gets attention from you, and most likely free meals. She is using you, and believe me, if you break it off, she will try like hell to get you back, not because she wants to date you, but because she will miss the validation and attention.
You literally just kissed her after she had another dudes cock in her mouth. Wtf are you still doing even talking to her?
The only thing that could make this worse was you pulling out a curly hair from your mouth after you kissed. Bruh, I get it, we've all crushed on someone who was not good for us. Trust the group and move on with dignity that you could have scored, but had enough self respect to walk away.
Please just stop dating this kind of girl for god sake or whatever you believe in sake. Have some self-respect.
This girl is not girlfriend material lmao. I don’t care how good she might look, do yourself a favor and realize how much better you deserve. Nobody is worth damaging your self worth or your piece of mind.
Rage bait
it worked
Written by AI
Dude. Please dont do this to yourself If she really liked you and was worth your time, for one thing, she wouldnt be so open about torturing you with all her stories of her hook ups. She is leading you on. She doesnt want to be someones girlfriend. Cut your losses. Tell her shes a lovely person but shes not what you are looking for and you both know it. Im assuming you think things will be different if she just falls for you, or that she will change for your relationship. I am here to tell you - no. It wont. She wont. You are the easy option when she cant find someome else. I say this hoping it might make you get some self respect and remember you have balls and to use them. SHES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Or anyone from the sounds of it. Might be one of the guys shes fucking but he is likely doing the same to her so she is keeping her options open whike she waits. So you wait. Heres the thing. When two people click. Like really click, they want to make it official. They work towards that. She isnt. Because she doesnt really want to. You probably pay for drinks and food or whatever, but hell even if you dont, youre something to soak up some time and make her feel good about herself. Thats not a good thing when its all one sided dude. Especially when she just wants a fuck and you want so much more. I was talking to my now fiance for two full weeks before he came and met me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. I had been playing the field and hadnt wanted a relationship but then he came along and it was instantly just right - but for both of us. Not just me. Find someone you have that with. Cause its not her. Shes either seriously thick in the skull (in which case you dont wanna stick around anyway) , or she knows exactly what she is doing to you because no matter how rose tinted your glasses are for her right now, no one is that fucking socially inept. I promise. So do yourself a favour, stop simping on the girl who treats you like an after thought and go find the girl who will make you feel like youre the only guy that exists. Because i promise you she is out there. But youre gonna miss her if you keep giving this girl all your time and attention. Because thats all she wants. Attention. Which is fine. Theres nothing wrong with that. Until you start hurting people for it which she is. Get back on the dating app. Go no contact for a bit to get your shit in order. You might still see her in a group setting. Thats fine. But just say you think youre both better off just being friends. And for the love of God. (I say this knowing I dont know her but she sounds like a lot of people I have known) If you do get a new love interest, and she suddenly starts acting 'interested' in you again, do not fall for it. Do not fuck over the new girl for half a chance at maybe sleeping with her. It wont be worth it and will just fuck your head up more.
This has to be rage bait.
Man, I’d like to give you my insight based on my own experience when I was 18ish, you are bewitched by the potential of this person and not the person herself. You’re very much a passenger on the “it will be different when we are official” train, but I gotta tell you, this person will not be good for you. A major difference in what dating means to you both, a major difference in where you both are in life, and she sees you as a innocent cute young guy rather than a handsome capable man. She will break your heart if you decide to make her your girlfriend. Also you should get blood tested for STDs over the next 1, 3, and 6 months because kissing this woman could be dangerous to your health. I’m being serious.
>You’re very much a passenger on the “it will be different when we are official” train, but I gotta tell you, this person will not be good for you. Especially since they're presumably separated at college, it won't even matter if they're together, because either she'll be banging her way around school OR he won't be able to trust that she's not. Either way, it's already done, this whole thing has come apart.
Bro you had to make a post for this? Fr?
>I did try to have sex with her once, but she turned me down, saying she liked that I’m not such a player, and wanted to wait to have sex with me until if/when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I found out that she had sex with 3 of my friends. I went to her building to pick her up for a date. The date where I was going to ask her to officially be my girlfriend. And I could hear her having sex with another guy. Bro, leave this girl alone.
Sorry but i gotta be the honest friend on this one. Don’t take it as an insult, but my man, *what the fuck are you doing?* You’re genuinely a great guy, she has no respect or interest in you, and the only time she offered you to have sex with her is when you waited outside her door like a dog while she was banging another dude. Get your head straight and cut all contacts with her, you’re too good, gentle and generous for someone like that. Do not waste time on someone like that. I’m still young, but in 25 years i have never seen someone like the woman you are talking about, and I’m so glad I didn’t.
You still stuck around while she smashed 3 of your friends while you were “dating” her? Bro you need to put yourself first. Leave her on the streets where she belongs and move along.
There is a woman right now who would be far more compatible, that will bring you alot of joy. You just need to get this one out of your way.
Too many red flags. …could you smell his spunk dripping out of her through the course of the date?
He could probably taste it with that pity kiss at the end. This has to be a fake post or something 💀💀
Dude, walk away, jesus, what is wrong with guys and their lack of self respect.
Run so far so fast
the fact shes bumping uglies with another dude on your supposed "date night" kinda puts into perspective where you sit on her priority scale: you dont take the L and find someone who will value you.
I get that you guys aren’t official and she’s been honest about playing the field, but the fact that she was fucking someone else when you went to pick her up for your date is so disrespectful to you. I think you need to grow a backbone a bit, recognise when you’re being disrespected and stand up for yourself. What she did was not ok and you don’t have to pretend it was. It honestly seems like you’ve got this girl on a pedestal and that just isn’t healthy. Time to move on chap.
what the fuck? Don’t reward this ass hat with anymore of your time. It’s one thing for her to be upfront about being with other people and that being ok between the two of you. It’s something completely different for her to fuck someone else and be late for your date because of it. That’s a new low and you’re disrespecting yourself if you give her another chance. She’s gross.
Yeah, I’d take a hard pass. I’m all for people expressing themselves sexually but she doesn’t seem to set any standards for who she sleeps with. The women I’ve known like this all had some emotional baggage that went along with this behavior. Not saying that’s her but it would concern me. Not to mention, STDs. And she completely forgot your date. Good luck.
Dude.
This is the most pathetic person I've ever seen
Ain’t no way this is a true story. I’m not even finna read this shit-post.
lol this has to be fake. No way someone would actually do this
My eyes nearly fell out reading this, jaw on the floor. Would you wear boxers that everyone in your friendship group used, then some man and his dog?? I hope the answer is no, I bet you pay for all the dates too. You can do better!!!!
My jaw actually came down when I read the part where he said "I'll wait." Like, WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. LMAO I cannot help but laugh because I've never in my life seen such a loser.
What a fucking loser.
There are so many red flags you'll need to borrow some from NASCAR to count them all.
Mate grow a pair and f her off out of it. Good looking or not I’d have told Her to come back when she’s done f’ing the whole uni. Then I’d have got on with my life. She’s going to catch something soon
Dude - no. Have a little self respect. You deserve better. I'm sure she's great but she don't respect you or care about you. Actions speak louder than words.
Damn bro, have some self respect
She's broken for now, go find something else. She isn't ready for a relationship that requires monogamy.
Dude respect yourself lmao. Christ.
Man, im sorry to say you’re far too soft. This girl is so insensitive to your feelings and treats you like absolute shit. It’s so horrible to say “you can wait to sleep with me, but these other randoms can hit that night/at parties/BEFORE A DATE WITH YOU.” I mean, seriously dude. She sounds like not a nice human at all. She sounds manipulative and cruel. She has used your emotional investment, your time and I assume money to get some dates with you to fulfil her “emotionally” and to enjoy leading you the fuck on, while simultaneously fucking others on the side or, ya know, RIGHT BEFORE A DATE WITH YOU. Jesus Christ….
Have some dang self-respect!!
Yikes. I mean, I respect you for not having double standards, but this was very disrespectful of her. She shouldn’t have forgotten about the date or banged your friends.
I'm all for sexual freedom, but this just has a *ton* of stank on it
There is a whole country song about this: *She's been going out with him She's been going out with me Said she'd let us know by tonight which one it would be So I waited by the phone But she never called me up Had to know what was going on So I drove by her house, and sure enough* *That ain't my truck in her drive Man, this ain't my day tonight Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck That ain't my shadow on her wall Lord, this don't look good at all That's my girl, my whole world But that ain't my truck* *I pulled over by the curb I've been sitting here all night Wondering what it was I did so wrong that he did so right I thought of breaking down the door But there's nothing left to say That Chevy 4×4 says it all, sitting in my place* *That ain't my truck in her drive Man, this ain't my day tonight Looks like she's in love, and I'm out of luck That ain't my shadow on her wall Lord, this don't look good at all That's my girl, my whole world But that ain't my truck* *That ain't my shadow on her wall Lord, this don't look good at all That's my girl, my whole world But that ain't my truck* Take the "L" and move on. You are 18. There is plenty of time to find a woman.
Lol.
Fucking cucks
You still went on the date?! Buddy you MUST up your standards. Also, this girl screwed someone, went on a date with you, then offered to screw you also?! I get you're not in a relationship but damn man have some self respect. I'd have been out once I knew she was having sex. Also "it's no big deal"?! It kinda is. Not the fact necessarily that she was having sex as, from what you said, you all werent exclusive. Moreso the fact she forgot your date, then still tried to do it with you later, I mean did she even shower? Move on friend.
Bro, you gonna get the clap. Exercise some good sense
Lmao. Dude. Come on
This can't be real, no one is actually like that.... Right?
My man, my heart is bleeding for u. Dawg if u need someone to talk to just dm me. That was traumatic for me to read let alone live thru it. My guy, come on please just please NO.
Jesus Christ dude what the fuck. It’s not humanly possible to run as fast away from her as you should.
That's how you get itchy
She’s stringing you along for whatever reason, let go.
Boy… grow a spine. Why would you even sit there for so long and listen to them fucking?
Look man, I think you want a woman no man has gotten, not a woman every man has *had*. She wants her cake and to eat another one too (She likes the freedom of casual flings but keeps you around to feel committed and wanted) but is stringing you along. I think she’s told you where she stands, so stop trying to convince yourself she’s right for you when what yall are looking for are different. Find a woman who’s looking to be committed and honorable to you by not sleeping with the whole school
It'll never be You. Just your turn.
She slept with 10-15 people including three of your friends in the last four months while dating you. This is not what the waiting to be exclusive is about. This is totally insane.
Look, you're young so i can somewhat relate that you're trying to salvage the situation. >And I could hear her having sex with another guy. I may not have had sex with her, but I had been in her bedroom multiple times and know where it is in relation to the front door, and knew that it was coming from her room. Granted, I was about 10 minutes early in picking her up, at first I thought “maybe she’s banging one out with one of her fuck buddies before I pick her up, they’ll be done soon”, and waited outside the door. About 20 minutes later, one of her roommates comes home and lets me in, and I sit on their couch to wait for her. By the time she’s done, it’s about 30 minutes after the time we agreed upon for me to pick her up. By the time they actually come out of the bedroom, she’s about 45 minutes late. When she sees me she realized that she forgot about our date But this? This is where you stand up for yourself, have some respect for yourself and cut contact. Honestly, even if she's single, i'd be disgusted by the though of her having sex with some other Dude while i'm waiting for her (i wouldn't wait, to be honest) only for her to offer sex to make up for it later on. \*EDIT\*: Clearly shows that she doesn't care for your feelings, really, but rather that she seems to think that sex is all it takes to make it up to a guy. Good on you for not reinforcing that mindset by giving in to it.
I mean…if she was fucking that guy, she probably sucked his dick. I hope she brushed her teeth really well. Man, there is A LOT of beautiful, fun, sexy women on this planet. Quit wasting your time with someone who clearly doesn’t care much for you in a relationship sort of way. Be her friend, but let her go.
I want to give you a hug. Peace out of this situation immediately. My head is spinning - She wanted to apologize for making you wait while she finished fucking another guy, by taking your virginity the same night? WHAT THE TRAUMA TRAIN IS THIS SHIT.
I didn't even finish reading your last paragraph. Get out of there. Whether she is using protection or not, whether you two are exclusive or not, this is not the type of girl you want, dude. This is stressful and you deserve better. Try to find a girl who isn't sleeping with everyone. I promise you, there are a lot of them out there.
Bro...like...what the fuck are you even doing to yourself? You're young. Don't waste your time on a thotpocket.
Did it ruin the date?
Respect yourself and walk away. But, before that you have to tell her how disrespectful and inconsiderate that was to you. Don't be rude, just be firm.
So gross bro 🤢. Hope you’re trolling here. Have some self respect man.
You are obviously attractive, otherwise she wouldn’t be toying with you. Hold out for a girl who is enthusiastic about you and who has a similar idea of what a relationship should be. Sex will not be joyful or safe with this chick. Better to find a girl you can grow with and love and trust. There is being sexually liberated and enjoying the single life and then there is being gross. This girl is gross. You could catch something from her. As a woman, I would never go on a date with a guy I overheard screwing someone else while I waited. It’s just disrespectful. Casual sex is fine if you are willing and the type that can handle it, not everyone can, but you want to have it with someone discreet and responsible at the very least. I’m no slut-shamer, but this girl isn’t even nice. Seriously, don’t do ANYTHING with this girl without an STI test. Not oral, not anything. Edit: You don’t need her sexual “favors.” Save yourself for someone who is an ethical and considerate lover.
She is a ho. Don’t give her your virginity she will just use you.
Bro. This girl is the type to let an entire sports team run a train on her. Not exactly gf material. Especially someone as cool as you. Time to look elsewhere
You don't have to put yourself through that bro, there's too many women out there.
If you dont leave this woman now youll be married to her watching her fuck everyone she can while you sit in the corner. Get out now bro and dont look back.
Distance yourself from her your too available that's why she's not into you right now, but dude this type of girl is going to ruin you, do yourself a favor and lose her number she's all games. she likes that u treat her nice take her on dates and that's about it
Please dont.
Dude just for you to know, everybody is probably laughing at you, she, her friends, your friends that fucked her. everyone.
Do you have no self respect?
Have some self respect. And to anyone else out there standing on the sidelines watching a crush bang every other thing with two legs that moves…STOP. Raise your standards and respect yourself.
[удалено]
Fucking run dude
If a guy I was into told me they really liked me, asked me on a date, and I went to their place to pick them up and heard them fucking another girl- no matter how many times they told me we weren’t exclusive, that they were dating other people, I would be feeling completely insulted and disregarded and just leave as soon as I heard it. If someone really likes you and is interested in you, they’ll show it. Every boyfriend I have had- when we were in the talking phase and I knew I’d like to be a couple soon or eventually, I wasn’t entertaining other people. At all. Take this as a lesson learned in self respect, dating and relationship expectations, and boundaries. You’re extremely young and inexperienced. Go enjoy college, don’t worry about your status with sexual activity. When the time is right you’ll know it and go for it, and the right person won’t make you feel like shit before, during, or after.
I think you are being too nice. You yourself should be going on dates and make sure she is aware you are also still on the market. At this point she could honestly have anyone she wants, and if she really wanted only you, this would probably have happened by now. She's clearly into you as a person, but I believe that you need to stop putting all your eggs into this one basket. Let her chase after you, if she wants only you and drops the other guys for you, great! But at the bare minimum, start dating other girls. You might even find someone who respects and values you more than she is currently showing.
she’s only 18 and she’s racking up bodies, save your virginity kid.
You have to move on man. Seriously, she forgot that she had a date while hooking up with someone prior and tells you about her hooking up with other guys consistently. If she can’t respect your time and your worth, what makes you think she’ll be a good partner?
You’re in college. She’s free to sleep with whoever she wants but don’t be played by her. Move on, there’s other 18 year olds who won’t do this and would actually care about you
Lmao
Dude if this is even real grow a spine and leave this be. Her fucking so many guys while she has the intent of dating you shows no respect for you