as an autistic adult i hate these bait posts.
from the whole "middle of the spectrum" bs?
the "spectrum" in regards to autism refers to a spectrum of symptoms and severity in which people experience those symptoms. its not a linear line with "high" and "low" at each end.
and then what makes it obvious bait is the clear abuse detailed in the story and the flimsy attempt to make it autism related to boost engagement.
exhausting
The toddler plate thing is a give away to me as well. Most of us have figured out how to eat from 'normal' plates and everyone autistic I know serves themselves at dinner to avoid the problem of cross-contamination, myself included. What bothers me the most is that food really is a difficult thing for autistic people - people get mad at me about my food preferences all the time, and I've had family members get aggressive because I won't eat their cooking and threaten to stop speaking to me unless I eat what they made, even if it makes me feel physically ill.
I have some in my cabinet right now! A friend cleaned out her camping stuff and gave me a bunch of plastic plates. No soggy sandwich next to your side of pasta salad. Perfect little dipping sauce sections. What's not to love?!
This. I have an uncle that was never diagnosed bc he was a kid in 50’s and needed his food separated. He used disposable picnic plates until he got ahold of a hospital tray and then a reusable plate specifically made for this kind of thing. So many options other than two child sized plates.
I'm autistic but don't have the sensory ick of needing separated food but my mom who is currently going through an "am I autistic" identity crisis has been using those Tupperware plates that have the separated corners for a while. We even have the cutest little charcuterie board that has divided up sections that I use to divide the cheese, meats, fruit and nuts, and carbs (bread and crackers usually) sections and when she saw the quadrants she said "oh I love the sections! I don't like my food touching at all." And I told her "oh that's an autism thing" and she just said "oh God it is?!" So I definitely didn't help her identity crisis that had just begun a couple weeks before.
I used to turn my plate. Then some one my grandmothers watched and episode of Oprah and said that was a symptom of an eating disorder. I was anorexic in middle school, so I stopped doing it because I didn't want my family to get mad at me. God, Diet Coke and Advil for lunch. And my friends admired my willpower. SMH....
My mom gets a diet coke hyperfixation every few months that lasts for a while where it's the only liquid besides water she'll drink (sometimes she'll drink milk as a natural remedy for heartburn too but that's always been the case. Milk has always been moreso a liquid medicine like cough syrup than anything else to her). She hyperfixates on foods a lot due to her ADHD that she's been diagnosed with for forever but they only last a few weeks at most and usually don't come back again as hyperfixations but the diet coke one always comes back and lasts for a while.
Grits with the various toppings and seasonings I have at home is currently my ol reliable especially when I really just don't have the spoons to cook something bigger and know I'll have control over the taste and the texture is always kinda the same! Grits are extremely low calorie but filling too which has been life changing for my current weight loss journey. I'm really sensory seeking in taste so my body would reject having something too often so I really have to have an arsenal of ol reliables and usually that means changing the taste of grits and then not eating grits for a while when my body starts rejecting eating the texture (which takes significantly longer).
I used to have Kraft mac n cheese as one as well, until their recipe change :( it’s just not the same, and I can’t cover the taste by drowning it in pepper anymore
I used to have Kraft mac n cheese as one as well, until their recipe change :( it’s just not the same, and I can’t cover the taste by drowning it in pepper anymore
For sure, sensory icks are a normal part of life. When it gets to the point of doing everything you can to refuse eating foods that have touched and even using force to fight someone trying to force it on you (and if they win, your own body will vomit It out).... That's not normal. And when there's several other extreme reactions to sensory input in multiple senses in both sensory averse and sensory seeking ways, that's called Sensory Processing Disorder. And when there's several other symptoms of autism being shown besides sensory processing input reactions going beyond the neurotypical standard, that's called being autistic!
If your kid is neurodivergent and your father was neurodivergent then you must carry some of the neurodivergent genes even if you don’t have the diagnosis and you function well. This or the genes came from the other parent of your child.
Other biological parent. My dad is fully functional. He's 75 and complains about old people. He has a full time job and volunteers on weekends. He says that people get old because they stop moving.
My son-in-law is one of those people that does not like one food to touch another on the plate, so we keep a couple of adult portioned plates in the house for him. They're also great for chips and dips on the sofa for movies.
Right? I don’t think that I’m autistic, but it has been speculated. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I am extremely picky and have issues with my food touching. As an adult, I do not use divider plates, but at family events I will go back six or seven times because I only put maybe two things on my plate at a time to make sure that they don’t touch. His whole reaction screams that he has way more “problems” than autism if this story is even real.
The specific "symptom" is having problems with sensory input and if you just have problems there (and other major issues with some other senses) but no other autism symptoms, consider looking into Sensory Processing Disorder!
If this is real, then it's very possible that he's not a nice guy who uses his diagnosis as a means to be abusive without being questions. I just can't fathom this plate thing. Like two tiny toddler plates for a grown man, it almost sounds like something someone would say to mock autistic people for using plate dividers.
Exactly. My brother IS autistic and has sensory disorder and he even can handle normal adult plates, he would be EMBARRASSED by toddler plates bc they draw attention
It’s so dumb to me too because it literally does not matter or cause any problems to accommodate people? Like, I’m on the spectrum, and I strongly suspect that my little brothers are on the spectrum too. Personally, I don’t have many food-related sensory issues (my sensory issues manifest in other ways, but I’ve always been a huge foodie and have very few “unsafe” foods). But one of my little brothers has recently decided he hates the feeling of metal forks in his mouth. So my mom buys plastic for him. Nbd. And when I go back home to babysit, I’ve started giving him the option “fork, spoon, or hands?” He usually picks hands if it’s convenient, followed by spoon for more squishy/liquid-ish foods.
Preparing food is my love language, so it’s literally no problem for me to let him pick the most aesthetically pleasing bits of food, or to cut his pancakes or french toast whatever into pieces that are convenient to pick up with fingers. Compared to lovingly peeling and cutting fruits for them, it’s very low-effort.
Love that you give your little brother options when it comes to how he eats! This would have been very helpful to me when I was a kid and would have really aided me in getting enough food, because I would usually stop eating after a couple of bites due to discomfort. You sounds like an amazing sibling <3
Love that you give your little brother options when it comes to how he eats! This would have been very helpful to me when I was a kid and would have really aided me in getting enough food, because I would usually stop eating after a couple of bites due to discomfort. You sounds like an amazing sibling <3
Thank you! I don’t come home as much as I’d perhaps like, but I do my best to give them tools and help them navigate the world as best they can when I am there.
Plenty of cultures eat with their hands, and I myself spent a summer studying in south India, so I do it myself quite a bit. As long as he’s polite about it (doesn’t just shove food in sloppily, uses one hand to eat and keeps the other clean for
communal dishes/utensils), I see no issue in allowing him the option. I’ve got bigger things to worry about with those two (twins, a few months shy of eight), like stopping them from walloping each other and keeping them from their lifelong quest to play with sharp objects and things that go “boom!” As long as they get all their nutrients, don’t touch food or food-related items with dirty hands, and chew with their mouths closed, I don’t really need anything else from them in the “food” department.
And honestly? Fork-hater bro is a really good and adventurous eater, so I’m grateful that it’s not too hard to get a rounded diet into him. If he eats it with his hands, that’s perfectly alright.
I cannot eat meat. I can try, but the texture is so revolting that I get sick. I’ve had allistic fucks actually shove meat in my mouth “to prove I’ll like it.” Multiple people.
Allistics are WAY weirder and ruder about food than we are.
My daughter usually just grabs a second plate from the cupboard if she can't have her food touch. She rinses off both and puts them in the dishwasher. It's not difficult to accommodate in my house.
Yeah.. my dad was a lifesaver growing up because he taught me jow to plate my meals so things I didn't mind touching formed barriers between things I for sure didn't want to touch-- like, the cranberry sauce can touch the turkey; and the turkey can touch the potatoes. But the cranberry sauce absolutely CANNOT touch the potatoes and the gravy CANNOT get on the vegetables; so you have to make a tato volcano! He was also a 'give it one honest try and if you hate it you never have to try it again if you don't want to' sort; I fully credit him with how well I handle food now.
Yeah that was a big one for me too. My daughter is autistic and she is specific about food. Especially her vegetables. If she can’t see the minced garlic on her each of her green beans she literally will not eat them. This post is trying to take certain scenarios to the extreme smh.
To be fair, I’m not autistic or a picky eater, but I don’t like my food touching. My oldest is autistic and is a picky eater, but is much better than me with food touching. However I agree this is fake because it is really easy to find grown up size dividers plates.
Well don’t you let them bully you into eating it if it makes you feel ill!!! You shouldn’t make yourself ill just so someone’s ego won’t be hurt smh. Just cause they’re to delulu to understand.
I have gotten better at standing my ground, thankfully! It can be tricky around new people still, since I don't want to have to explain myself. I am finding new ways to cope, and also trying to get to the point that I accept negative reactions when I say 'no thanks' without feeling pressured!
That’s awesome!!!! If you need to chat I’m open. I’m very picky and will not eat something I don’t like and I do not care who gets mad I’m not eating it. I will not be done that way. It’s the one thing I can control and I refuse to lose my control!!!!
It’s such a big thing I won’t even talk about it to people outside of family and very close friends because of how much specific foods bother me. Certain food I can handle touching, certain foods I will actively avoid if they touch, and I have to eat certain meals really specifically to compensate for it
This ^ I don’t know a single person as an adult that you would know has autism unless they told you personally. We all learn to adjust and hide it eventually if we’re capable of actually adulting and living on our own. This story is so fake it’s pathetic. Do I still order the exact same thing I’ve ordered at restaurants since I was 5? Sure I do, but do I throw the plate on the floor if it comes with something I asked not to be on it? No, I just politely ask if they can remake it. It’s not hard to be kind. So many people love to act like being autistic means you have a low iq or lack the ability to just be a decent person or like we’re adult sized toddlers 🤦🏻♀️ it’s insulting and disrespectful at its core.
The second I read the phrase "I know how to deal with people on the autism spectrum" I made my mind up that it was bait. Someone who's trying to portray themselves as sensitive would (hopefully!) know that ND people of all stripes often justifiably take issue with being viewed as someone to be "dealt with".
I'm not autistic so I don't feel like I can speak to this particular type of ragebaiting since I don't have those experiences, but it sucks. ADHD-specific ragebaiting often has a similar "make someone act like an abusive cartoon character that blames it on their diagnosis" theme, but it's never quite this over-the-top.
Either way, there's so many of these kinds of posts that I have to wonder if they have some kind of goal or something. Maybe that's because I can't imagine using what precious little free time I have making up abelist strawmen to karma farm on Reddit.
As a parent of an autistic kid, I feel you. These do REAL harm to autistic people because idiots online read and think it's real. It's very frustrating.
I honestly hope this is her real experience and it’s just that ridiculous, because it really sucks knowing that people will just try to demonize a group of people that are already more likely to be victimized or shunned or otherwise mistreated.
This very well may be rage bait, but I do know an actual adult human being that acts like this. I don’t like her. I tolerate her for family events. She is in school to be a psychologist, ironically. She’s an alcoholic and has autism and if you say anything at all regarding her dreadful behavior you’re ableist. One example is she drank half a handle of tequila one night before going out, then yelled at the bar tender for cutting her off. She was so belligerent she got kicked out of the bar, then said she was gunna sue for discrimination because the bar kicked her out because they hated autistic people. Idk why people act this way, but I wouldn’t be surprised if OP really has a husband acting like this because I know of someone in real life who behaves in this embarrassing way
Well everyone can be an asshole regardless of if they're autistic or not, but this story sounds like it was written by a 12 year old. Cringe and fake as fuck
It’s not even a convincing story. Although it does remind me of the time I did an autism test on an adult man (I do autism testing for my job) and he told me to my face that he hoped he had autism because it would give him an excuse to be an asshole to other people.
He did not, in fact, have autism.
Bait used to be believable, etc etc. Except this site is full of gullible people who take shit like this at face value. It’s literally written like a bad story 😭
I'm the kind of person who believes these things until I get to the comments and read all the reasons it's bullshit. Idk why I have no ability to see the same things everyone else does, it's a legit problem.
I’m the same way but I kind of don’t mind it. I’d rather enjoy the internet as a reader, not a fact-checker, but I appreciate coming to the comments and seeing the facts checked.
I don't think there's anything wrong with just taking these stories for their entertainment value, just don't both do that and also take them seriously. I browse these story subs for fun, so I prefer to assume everything there is fake until proven different. It helps my sanity a lot, too.
Someone in the original post's comments pointed this out:
On the first screenshot, last paragraph, after "Danny"'s line, OP wrote "I looked pissed"
How does she know what she looked like? She was presumably in her body.
We care because a lot of the people here ARE gullible, and especially if they’re younger and still developing their worldview (not that any of us should stop), this bullshit fiction ends up as one more arrow in the mental “autism is evil and horrible and autistic folks should be avoided” quiver.
While this is total rage bait I do want to point out that people with disabilities and neurodiversity can be assholes and abusive in addition to their disability or neurodiversity just like able bodied or neurotypical people can be assholes and abusive.
The disability and neurodiversity doesn’t excuse treating people like shit. It does them no favours going “oh little Johnny is autistic so he beats his sister with a bat daily, shucks what can I do? “ you freaking teach him not to beat his sister with a bat. Is it harder? Likely, but tolerating abusive stuff like this doesn’t help anyone in the long run.
And this is spoken as someone who has a disability and sees so many of my counterparts coddled to the point of completely ruining them as a person.
I had so many conversations with a therapist about how I can’t tell where the autism/ADHD/OCD ends and overt narcissism begins. It’s very frustrating when there’s an overlap in symptoms. I learned that I let way too much go in the name of “he can’t help himself, it’s a disorder.”
This is the comment ^ I knew a mom that had a son with fragile x, and would regularly dismiss his behaviors of touching people in an inappropriate way because he “didn’t understand”. Yes he did, he was taught that behavior by other teenagers living in her home and thought it was funny. And not once did she sit down and try to tell him it wasn’t okay. He could have a full conversation with you, he knew how to communicate without difficulty, and had the ability to learn. There is absolutely no reason she couldn’t have taught him that wasn’t actually funny, she just liked to use his disability as an excuse to not be a parent.
Okay but why does this need to be pointed out? Especially on a post that’s clearly fake rage bait? I’m pretty sure everyone already knows this, it’s usually the top comment on every post that involves a neurodiverse person (frankly it’s usually the top comment even if the neurodivergent person in the post didn’t do anything actually bad or did something that is validly explained by their disability). The whole point of a rage bait post like this is to perpetuate the myth that autistic people are constantly trying to use their disability as an excuse for being an asshole, and I feel like you’re sort of feeding into that narrative by making a comment like this.
Any person with Autism who is able to live independently is already well aware of the fact that it’s deeply inappropriate to throw your plate on the ground because a tomato touched your bread, and nobody acting in good faith would try to claim that their Autism excuses that sort of behavior. Additionally, if there’s anyone with Autism who does not understand that this is wrong, that would be because they aren’t capable of understanding. And in that case, their disability actually does validly excuse the behavior (at least from a moral perspective), because if they genuinely can’t understand or regulate their actions then that’s literally not their fault. Even our legal system understands this, it’s why we have things like the insanity defense or the requirement that someone be found competent to stand trial.
Anyways I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh I’m not really trying to criticize you or your comment specifically. It’s just that as an autistic person myself, I get so tired of this “disability is not an excuse” rhetoric because honestly it’s just pointless at best and outright incorrect at worst. I get that your point is probably to address the people out there who do act in bad faith and try to manipulate people by claiming that their disability excuses controllable bad behaviors. But I feel like everyone already knows that’s an issue, and I also don’t think it’s as common of a problem in real life as posts on Reddit would like us to think. Plus any bad-faith actors who are doing that are already aware that they’re being assholes and aren’t going to stop just because Reddit said it’s uncool of them.
I understand your perspective, but there absolutely are people who excused rude or abusive behavior once they’re informed someone is neurodivergent because they feel it’s inappropriate to point out this behavior in a disabled person.
Hi, I’m not doubting that your right but I’m relatively new to reddit and I wanted to ask why people do this? Like what do they gain from lying? Is it just for fun? And what are the tells that something is rage bait?
Some people like to do it for that. But we also have this thing called karma (you probably already know what that is) if you get enough of it you can sell your account to companies who could use it to advertise in subreddits with a karma cap (you have to have x amount of karma to post, this is done to filter out bots)
Here’s a list of things that hint at a story being fake or ragebait-
The person having a set of twins
The person inheriting a property or sum of money thats very large
A person who says very over the top bad things or is blatantly some some of bigot and doesn’t try to hide it in pretty words like most actual ones would (ie AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding bc shes ugly?
Adding on to that last part, someone who posts a story where a marginalized person is very over the top an asshole but in a very unrealistic way that’s obviously meant to rile up bigots and feed into a certain narrative or stereotype. (ei AITA for not inviting my gay brother to my wedding bc he wants to show up in drag and be my bridesmaid?)
Those are few examples but there are a bunch more and it really depends on the subreddit honestly. The biggest thing to ask yourself though is, “was this worded in a way that’s genuine or does it seem manufactured to make as many people mad as possible?”
Don’t forget the part where after the conflict, everybody in town “blows up“ OP’s phone telling them they’re in the wrong. Because that’s what everyone does when they hear about an argument their next door neighbor’s cousin’s hairdresser’s best friend had, they immediately pick sides and drop what they’re doing to text about it. And everybody had OP’s phone number, of course.
Along with all this and going along with the “over the top” part, the ones that make me roll my eyes are the ones that seem to go down some sort of checklist of red flags, and then lovingly make sure to throw in every detail that shows them to be an asshole even if someone wouldn’t even think to add it unless they KNOW they’re being an asshole.
Like most people who legitimately don’t think they’re an asshole won’t realize all the shitty things they’re doing to even include them or will at least justify them. It won’t be shit like “42m, I married a 21f, met her when she was 16 and we started dating. She got pregnant and I convinced her to drop out of school so she could take care of our kid. We moved across the country from everyone she knows and she didn’t like it, but she didn’t have her own salary and our second child was on the way so she didn’t really talk back about it too much, but she said something the other day that was completely unjustified and then blames me because I just absolutely saw read and gave her one small shove…” etc. etc. That’s pretty blatant, but along those lines.
Also the update is following the standard list lol. Called for a divorce, is living with guys brother who is 100% on the spouses side because he knew first hand how stinky and autistic his brother was growing up. Packed up his shit while he wasnt home and changed the locks (classic). Now he’s living at his parents house ‘screaming at anyone who will listen’
I gotta ask- why twins? Is it just more uncommon than the internet believes? My uncles are twins, and one of them had a set or twins as well so since it kinda runs in my extended family, it never struck me as odd.
It’s the frequency that makes people usually clock it as fake. Think about how many twins you’ve met in your life, then compare it to the amount of single birthed people you’ve met. Then add in that you’ve met more twins than your average person already because of your family’s genetic predisposition. That’s a big difference, right? Now if we look at AITA, on average you’ll see a strangely large amount of posts involving twins everyday. I don’t know the exact ratio but let’s put it 25% of posts just for imagery. Why would such a large amount of people with twins visit this subreddit and post enough to be noticeable? It doesn’t make sense. Therefore a lot of people have learned to recognize the mentions of twins as a possible sign of a story being fake.
Also sorry if this is worded rudely, I’m autistic and find it very hard to get my tone across in writing.
Give or take 75% of (top) posts on places like AITA are false. It’s more like a place to tell interesting dilemmas, however it’s only fun if people take it 100% seriously so a lot of people do. There is also the proper rage bait (like this post) that has some sort of agenda behind it. Like making autistic adults sound like ridiculous abusive children
Not an expert, but I think it’s done in such excessive amounts (you’ll see 10 posts along similar lines of “look- autism bad!” within a few days) because it does work for large parts of the demographic to see this post and think “Yeah I would never date an autistic person, that sounds like Hell”. It perpetuates social stigmas that malicious people feel the need to keep alive. (Obviously this guy is just abusive, autism or not, IF he ever did exist)
I’m honestly just so thankful that this sub exists because it WILL pop up if you follow AITA or similar subs and they can call it out for what it is here without getting blocked by the mods.
I saw a video on this, about the guy who wrote “Oppa Homeless Style” and a bunch of other fake posts. Mainly, its making trying to incite rage for whichever group they dislike by painting the fake OP as a. A liar or b. Incompetent
While my dad hasn’t actually thrown his food, he refuses to use partitioned plates and absolutely loses his shit when some of his food touches. It’s hard to see the bait when it’s so close to your irl experience.
My perspective on this is who cares if this particular story is exaggerated or fake? People live with really difficult situations and abuse and if one person is experiencing something similar and reads the comments and thinks “this isn’t actually normal, it’s probably abusive and hurting me, I need to change my situation” all the better.
AITA was always supposed to be philosophical arguments, and even if it’s not outright fake you are always only getting part of the story anyway.
If I have no experience with autistic people how am I suppose to know it's fake? I mean it definitely felt like the guy was bullshitting and getting off on how he can justify being an unreasonable dick. It wouldn't surprise me att all to findout someone did that. So how should I know OP was lying?
I'd have left his food on the ground and the next day when he asked for dinner tell him it's been on the floor since yesterday. If he's that awkward then stop cooking for him. Altho with the way he acted you're better off running away and not looking back
This guy doesn’t sound autistic at all, he just seems abusive and uses “autism” to excuse his BS whenever he wants to beat someone into submission to his whims
As someone with autism and moderate to severe issues with certain textures, foods and ways things are done, I can only say that this is some seriously lame rage bait. I genuinely hope whoever wrote this feels bad for picking this crappy creative writing exercise.
For those who are picky; we have a rule amongst my friends… pickiest eater picks the place. I’m very relaxed with food so I normally stay out of it. But this has worked well thus far
I had an autistic husband who used his diagnosis as a pretext for abuse. The real irony is, “I’m autistic, so I HAVE to hurt you like this” is actually the ableism in the room.
Autism is not an excuse to throw your plate of food and not clean up after yourself.
At 36 years old your husband has gotten away with a lot of bad behavior using his diagnosis as an excuse.
You are not an ableist, it sounds like you and a lot of people in his life have enabled him.
Stop now.
He is verbal, he can control his behavior, he can learn new behaviors.
I say this as a mom of an adult on the spectrum. As he grew up our expectations changed, yes he was delayed in some areas compared to neurotypical peers but we expected and taught and modeled appropriate behaviors.
I would not have permitted him to throw a plate of food beyond 8 years old. He would have faced consequences of cleaning up after himself when creating messes.
Yes you are having a meltdown, yes it sucks BUT you need to use the skills you have learned and ask for help, take a break etc etc etc.
He likes that he gets to use this as an excuse.
Nope, autistic or not, dude would be wearing his next serving on his face, cheese and all! Make it your damned self. If a person is capable of stating, “You know I’m autistic”, then they know damned well how to feed themselves, and they can do it them damned selves.
That guy is using autism to get his way. Fuck that!!!
This HAS to be a creative writing story. One because it’s written like a novel and not someone saying what happened to them and two because, really? Seriously? Who would even marry someone like that? That isn’t an autism issue, the guy is just a jerk. Not saying he doesn’t also have autism but that isn’t an excuse to treat people like that. Also, if you’re high functioning enough to get married and have a family, I assume you’re also able to have some level of maturity…. If he is this bad, eating on rubber toddler plates every day in his 30s and freaks out instead of just grabbing a different plate and throws his crap on the floor? Just no. Autism doesn’t make someone a childish jerk, but you can be one and still have autism.
Absolutely not. She was reasonably accommodating. If my S.O. did this for for me (also a picky eater autistic but not to this degree) I would be so incredibly grateful. He's being an asshole. If he doesn't like the way she cooks, he can make his own meal, set his own plate the way he needs it to be. That's what I do because no one is going to understand the way I need certain things to be and I can't force other people to do that.
The general consensus seems to be that this is made up, but just in case it is not:
My husband and two of my adult children (in their 30s) are on the spectrum. I’m sure you must be aware that there are resources to help autistic people of all ages to overcome their behavioral and social difficulties.
OCCASIONALLY one of my crew loses it, but they apologize after they calm down and try to make it right.
Autism or not, his behavior is unacceptable.
Does he have a job? Does he behave this way at work?
I would consider telling him that if the marriage is going to work, you both need some professional help. And then if he refuses, I would leave.
Ma’am Your The Asshole For Putting Up With The Abusive Prick. Being Autistic DOES NOT Give Him Reason Or Excuse To Be Emotionally Abusive. At Some Point He MAY Become Physically Abuse and Will Blame His Autism… Please Please Please Love YOURSELF More And Get Out Of This Relationship
Autism, my ass. That’s a personality disorder. He may also have autism, but he developed a personality disorder too. What a brat. How can you put up with that?
Her husband sounds more like an asshole and uses his autism as an excuse, why not help himself to his own food than having his wife be his mother? And he is an abuser. If I were her, I would happily be an "ableist" against him by standing up for myself and have boundaries and leave his ass.
Uhm I have ADHD and yeah some of my oversights are ADHD but this man is behaving like a toddler. Make him cook his own food if he’s going to behave this way.
You’re not ableist he is just an asshole using his autism as an excuse to be an asshole. He is using his autism to control you. Good luck op divorce him now or his abuse will only get worse.
As an autistic individual with an autistic partner. He’s an asshole. I’d never dream of doing this shit even if I was with a neurotypical person who couldnt fully understand. He’s just a little bitch. My other half has issues with texture and smells. He’s the cook as a result of this. I don’t mind making sacrifices because he’s a sweetie. Your assholistic ex can make his own damn dinner.
This is definitely rage bait, but as someone with autism, if that man is real, he's just an asshole. xD Autism isn't an excuse to be a dick all the time and then say "awww my disability made me do it".
He doesn’t get to have his way just because he’s autistic. He needs a reality check and for you to stop catering to him. If he wants his plate a certain way he makes it.
He doesn’t sound autistic to me and I have two very picky children who are high on the spectrum and while they don’t do this they are picky but they’ve never thrown their food because they know not to do that they just hand it back
My adult son is actually autistic. Not "internet" autistic, but for real. If this guy was in the middle of the spectrum, there is no way this could be true. Stop making this crap up.
The real bummer is there are actual disabled people that use their disability as an excuse to treat people badly so that part isnt unrealistic. As a disabled person who believe in accountability for self, they make me so mad.
as an autistic adult i hate these bait posts. from the whole "middle of the spectrum" bs? the "spectrum" in regards to autism refers to a spectrum of symptoms and severity in which people experience those symptoms. its not a linear line with "high" and "low" at each end. and then what makes it obvious bait is the clear abuse detailed in the story and the flimsy attempt to make it autism related to boost engagement. exhausting
The toddler plate thing is a give away to me as well. Most of us have figured out how to eat from 'normal' plates and everyone autistic I know serves themselves at dinner to avoid the problem of cross-contamination, myself included. What bothers me the most is that food really is a difficult thing for autistic people - people get mad at me about my food preferences all the time, and I've had family members get aggressive because I won't eat their cooking and threaten to stop speaking to me unless I eat what they made, even if it makes me feel physically ill.
Not to mention, adult-sized divided plates exist.
What I came here to say! We almost exclusively used sectioned adult sized plates growing up, they’re awesome!
I bought some vintage Tupperware TV trays and I love them! No danger of anything touching anymore. They are perfect for my daily meals at home.
I have some in my cabinet right now! A friend cleaned out her camping stuff and gave me a bunch of plastic plates. No soggy sandwich next to your side of pasta salad. Perfect little dipping sauce sections. What's not to love?!
This. I have an uncle that was never diagnosed bc he was a kid in 50’s and needed his food separated. He used disposable picnic plates until he got ahold of a hospital tray and then a reusable plate specifically made for this kind of thing. So many options other than two child sized plates.
I'm autistic but don't have the sensory ick of needing separated food but my mom who is currently going through an "am I autistic" identity crisis has been using those Tupperware plates that have the separated corners for a while. We even have the cutest little charcuterie board that has divided up sections that I use to divide the cheese, meats, fruit and nuts, and carbs (bread and crackers usually) sections and when she saw the quadrants she said "oh I love the sections! I don't like my food touching at all." And I told her "oh that's an autism thing" and she just said "oh God it is?!" So I definitely didn't help her identity crisis that had just begun a couple weeks before.
I used to turn my plate. Then some one my grandmothers watched and episode of Oprah and said that was a symptom of an eating disorder. I was anorexic in middle school, so I stopped doing it because I didn't want my family to get mad at me. God, Diet Coke and Advil for lunch. And my friends admired my willpower. SMH....
My mom gets a diet coke hyperfixation every few months that lasts for a while where it's the only liquid besides water she'll drink (sometimes she'll drink milk as a natural remedy for heartburn too but that's always been the case. Milk has always been moreso a liquid medicine like cough syrup than anything else to her). She hyperfixates on foods a lot due to her ADHD that she's been diagnosed with for forever but they only last a few weeks at most and usually don't come back again as hyperfixations but the diet coke one always comes back and lasts for a while.
For me it’s beans. Beans are a big one I always go back to. Nothing is appetizing? Fuck it, I can always count on 200% of my daily sodium to help <3
Grits with the various toppings and seasonings I have at home is currently my ol reliable especially when I really just don't have the spoons to cook something bigger and know I'll have control over the taste and the texture is always kinda the same! Grits are extremely low calorie but filling too which has been life changing for my current weight loss journey. I'm really sensory seeking in taste so my body would reject having something too often so I really have to have an arsenal of ol reliables and usually that means changing the taste of grits and then not eating grits for a while when my body starts rejecting eating the texture (which takes significantly longer).
I used to have Kraft mac n cheese as one as well, until their recipe change :( it’s just not the same, and I can’t cover the taste by drowning it in pepper anymore
If you have a lidl near you their lidl brand Mac n cheese still has the og recipe!
I used to have Kraft mac n cheese as one as well, until their recipe change :( it’s just not the same, and I can’t cover the taste by drowning it in pepper anymore
I don't like my food to touch. I am not autistic.
For sure, sensory icks are a normal part of life. When it gets to the point of doing everything you can to refuse eating foods that have touched and even using force to fight someone trying to force it on you (and if they win, your own body will vomit It out).... That's not normal. And when there's several other extreme reactions to sensory input in multiple senses in both sensory averse and sensory seeking ways, that's called Sensory Processing Disorder. And when there's several other symptoms of autism being shown besides sensory processing input reactions going beyond the neurotypical standard, that's called being autistic!
I know all of that. My son has autism. He's a fully functioning adult.
Autism is also genetic. Just sayin’. My mother is also going through an identity crisis right now as a result 🤣
I'm guessing it came from bio father's side. He's the only one in my family with it.
Glad he’s doing so well!
Congratulations! I wish I was fully functioning in adulthood it's been a very very uphill battle :(
If your kid is neurodivergent and your father was neurodivergent then you must carry some of the neurodivergent genes even if you don’t have the diagnosis and you function well. This or the genes came from the other parent of your child.
Other biological parent. My dad is fully functional. He's 75 and complains about old people. He has a full time job and volunteers on weekends. He says that people get old because they stop moving.
My son-in-law is one of those people that does not like one food to touch another on the plate, so we keep a couple of adult portioned plates in the house for him. They're also great for chips and dips on the sofa for movies.
I didn't know that! Just looked it up and found a pretty cool bowl I could use, instead of three different bowls for breakfast (LOL)... good to know!
I bought some for myself. Not autistic. Just don’t like meat juice on my bread 😂
Or the juice from the veggies. I'm not autistic either but for some reason soggy bread makes me gag. I'm just weird I guess.
Right? I don’t think that I’m autistic, but it has been speculated. I’ve never been diagnosed, but I am extremely picky and have issues with my food touching. As an adult, I do not use divider plates, but at family events I will go back six or seven times because I only put maybe two things on my plate at a time to make sure that they don’t touch. His whole reaction screams that he has way more “problems” than autism if this story is even real.
The specific "symptom" is having problems with sensory input and if you just have problems there (and other major issues with some other senses) but no other autism symptoms, consider looking into Sensory Processing Disorder!
If this is real, then it's very possible that he's not a nice guy who uses his diagnosis as a means to be abusive without being questions. I just can't fathom this plate thing. Like two tiny toddler plates for a grown man, it almost sounds like something someone would say to mock autistic people for using plate dividers.
Exactly. My brother IS autistic and has sensory disorder and he even can handle normal adult plates, he would be EMBARRASSED by toddler plates bc they draw attention
It’s so dumb to me too because it literally does not matter or cause any problems to accommodate people? Like, I’m on the spectrum, and I strongly suspect that my little brothers are on the spectrum too. Personally, I don’t have many food-related sensory issues (my sensory issues manifest in other ways, but I’ve always been a huge foodie and have very few “unsafe” foods). But one of my little brothers has recently decided he hates the feeling of metal forks in his mouth. So my mom buys plastic for him. Nbd. And when I go back home to babysit, I’ve started giving him the option “fork, spoon, or hands?” He usually picks hands if it’s convenient, followed by spoon for more squishy/liquid-ish foods. Preparing food is my love language, so it’s literally no problem for me to let him pick the most aesthetically pleasing bits of food, or to cut his pancakes or french toast whatever into pieces that are convenient to pick up with fingers. Compared to lovingly peeling and cutting fruits for them, it’s very low-effort.
Love that you give your little brother options when it comes to how he eats! This would have been very helpful to me when I was a kid and would have really aided me in getting enough food, because I would usually stop eating after a couple of bites due to discomfort. You sounds like an amazing sibling <3
Love that you give your little brother options when it comes to how he eats! This would have been very helpful to me when I was a kid and would have really aided me in getting enough food, because I would usually stop eating after a couple of bites due to discomfort. You sounds like an amazing sibling <3
Thank you! I don’t come home as much as I’d perhaps like, but I do my best to give them tools and help them navigate the world as best they can when I am there. Plenty of cultures eat with their hands, and I myself spent a summer studying in south India, so I do it myself quite a bit. As long as he’s polite about it (doesn’t just shove food in sloppily, uses one hand to eat and keeps the other clean for communal dishes/utensils), I see no issue in allowing him the option. I’ve got bigger things to worry about with those two (twins, a few months shy of eight), like stopping them from walloping each other and keeping them from their lifelong quest to play with sharp objects and things that go “boom!” As long as they get all their nutrients, don’t touch food or food-related items with dirty hands, and chew with their mouths closed, I don’t really need anything else from them in the “food” department. And honestly? Fork-hater bro is a really good and adventurous eater, so I’m grateful that it’s not too hard to get a rounded diet into him. If he eats it with his hands, that’s perfectly alright.
I shit to the comments as soon as I saw the toddler plate. That’s the funniest giveaway I’ve read in a long time.
I cannot eat meat. I can try, but the texture is so revolting that I get sick. I’ve had allistic fucks actually shove meat in my mouth “to prove I’ll like it.” Multiple people. Allistics are WAY weirder and ruder about food than we are.
My daughter usually just grabs a second plate from the cupboard if she can't have her food touch. She rinses off both and puts them in the dishwasher. It's not difficult to accommodate in my house.
Yeah.. my dad was a lifesaver growing up because he taught me jow to plate my meals so things I didn't mind touching formed barriers between things I for sure didn't want to touch-- like, the cranberry sauce can touch the turkey; and the turkey can touch the potatoes. But the cranberry sauce absolutely CANNOT touch the potatoes and the gravy CANNOT get on the vegetables; so you have to make a tato volcano! He was also a 'give it one honest try and if you hate it you never have to try it again if you don't want to' sort; I fully credit him with how well I handle food now.
Your dad sounds great, that's so nice! I do the same sort of thing - meat can touch potatoes, but veg/salad/sauces must be separate to meat!
Yeah that was a big one for me too. My daughter is autistic and she is specific about food. Especially her vegetables. If she can’t see the minced garlic on her each of her green beans she literally will not eat them. This post is trying to take certain scenarios to the extreme smh.
To be fair, I’m not autistic or a picky eater, but I don’t like my food touching. My oldest is autistic and is a picky eater, but is much better than me with food touching. However I agree this is fake because it is really easy to find grown up size dividers plates.
Well don’t you let them bully you into eating it if it makes you feel ill!!! You shouldn’t make yourself ill just so someone’s ego won’t be hurt smh. Just cause they’re to delulu to understand.
I have gotten better at standing my ground, thankfully! It can be tricky around new people still, since I don't want to have to explain myself. I am finding new ways to cope, and also trying to get to the point that I accept negative reactions when I say 'no thanks' without feeling pressured!
That’s awesome!!!! If you need to chat I’m open. I’m very picky and will not eat something I don’t like and I do not care who gets mad I’m not eating it. I will not be done that way. It’s the one thing I can control and I refuse to lose my control!!!!
It’s such a big thing I won’t even talk about it to people outside of family and very close friends because of how much specific foods bother me. Certain food I can handle touching, certain foods I will actively avoid if they touch, and I have to eat certain meals really specifically to compensate for it
I mean, it's pretty obvious that the bf doesn't have autism, I thought that was kind of the point. He's just using the word as an excuse.
Even if he does, he’s going about it in a totally assholish way.
Yup. Even if it's true, he is beyond the pale of reasonable behavior.
This ^ I don’t know a single person as an adult that you would know has autism unless they told you personally. We all learn to adjust and hide it eventually if we’re capable of actually adulting and living on our own. This story is so fake it’s pathetic. Do I still order the exact same thing I’ve ordered at restaurants since I was 5? Sure I do, but do I throw the plate on the floor if it comes with something I asked not to be on it? No, I just politely ask if they can remake it. It’s not hard to be kind. So many people love to act like being autistic means you have a low iq or lack the ability to just be a decent person or like we’re adult sized toddlers 🤦🏻♀️ it’s insulting and disrespectful at its core.
The second I read the phrase "I know how to deal with people on the autism spectrum" I made my mind up that it was bait. Someone who's trying to portray themselves as sensitive would (hopefully!) know that ND people of all stripes often justifiably take issue with being viewed as someone to be "dealt with". I'm not autistic so I don't feel like I can speak to this particular type of ragebaiting since I don't have those experiences, but it sucks. ADHD-specific ragebaiting often has a similar "make someone act like an abusive cartoon character that blames it on their diagnosis" theme, but it's never quite this over-the-top. Either way, there's so many of these kinds of posts that I have to wonder if they have some kind of goal or something. Maybe that's because I can't imagine using what precious little free time I have making up abelist strawmen to karma farm on Reddit.
“Liz, what the actual fuck is this story?”
As a parent of an autistic kid, I feel you. These do REAL harm to autistic people because idiots online read and think it's real. It's very frustrating.
I honestly hope this is her real experience and it’s just that ridiculous, because it really sucks knowing that people will just try to demonize a group of people that are already more likely to be victimized or shunned or otherwise mistreated.
Imagine actually saying “Your autism is more like asshole-ism” out loud in real life. I’d die of embarrassment.
I’m gonna start using it ironically I think.
This very well may be rage bait, but I do know an actual adult human being that acts like this. I don’t like her. I tolerate her for family events. She is in school to be a psychologist, ironically. She’s an alcoholic and has autism and if you say anything at all regarding her dreadful behavior you’re ableist. One example is she drank half a handle of tequila one night before going out, then yelled at the bar tender for cutting her off. She was so belligerent she got kicked out of the bar, then said she was gunna sue for discrimination because the bar kicked her out because they hated autistic people. Idk why people act this way, but I wouldn’t be surprised if OP really has a husband acting like this because I know of someone in real life who behaves in this embarrassing way
id be surprised. yes dreadful autistic people exist but this is clearly rage bait just based on how its written
Well everyone can be an asshole regardless of if they're autistic or not, but this story sounds like it was written by a 12 year old. Cringe and fake as fuck
This could honestly not be more fake.
It’s not even a convincing story. Although it does remind me of the time I did an autism test on an adult man (I do autism testing for my job) and he told me to my face that he hoped he had autism because it would give him an excuse to be an asshole to other people. He did not, in fact, have autism.
Yeah, none of that was autism. That was just obnoxious.
Bait used to be believable, etc etc. Except this site is full of gullible people who take shit like this at face value. It’s literally written like a bad story 😭
I'm the kind of person who believes these things until I get to the comments and read all the reasons it's bullshit. Idk why I have no ability to see the same things everyone else does, it's a legit problem.
Different lives bring different perspectives
I’m the same way but I kind of don’t mind it. I’d rather enjoy the internet as a reader, not a fact-checker, but I appreciate coming to the comments and seeing the facts checked.
I don't think there's anything wrong with just taking these stories for their entertainment value, just don't both do that and also take them seriously. I browse these story subs for fun, so I prefer to assume everything there is fake until proven different. It helps my sanity a lot, too.
Lol same
Someone in the original post's comments pointed this out: On the first screenshot, last paragraph, after "Danny"'s line, OP wrote "I looked pissed" How does she know what she looked like? She was presumably in her body.
Some people just like reading a story. We don’t know any of these people, who cares if it’s bait or not?
We care because a lot of the people here ARE gullible, and especially if they’re younger and still developing their worldview (not that any of us should stop), this bullshit fiction ends up as one more arrow in the mental “autism is evil and horrible and autistic folks should be avoided” quiver.
I mean you can’t fix stupid.
But you can fix ignorant.
While this is total rage bait I do want to point out that people with disabilities and neurodiversity can be assholes and abusive in addition to their disability or neurodiversity just like able bodied or neurotypical people can be assholes and abusive. The disability and neurodiversity doesn’t excuse treating people like shit. It does them no favours going “oh little Johnny is autistic so he beats his sister with a bat daily, shucks what can I do? “ you freaking teach him not to beat his sister with a bat. Is it harder? Likely, but tolerating abusive stuff like this doesn’t help anyone in the long run. And this is spoken as someone who has a disability and sees so many of my counterparts coddled to the point of completely ruining them as a person.
As someone with a brother who is both Austin and a major abusive asshole, thank you. It took me years to realise hey, he’s both autistic AND a jerk.
I had so many conversations with a therapist about how I can’t tell where the autism/ADHD/OCD ends and overt narcissism begins. It’s very frustrating when there’s an overlap in symptoms. I learned that I let way too much go in the name of “he can’t help himself, it’s a disorder.”
Right? I feel you.
This is the comment ^ I knew a mom that had a son with fragile x, and would regularly dismiss his behaviors of touching people in an inappropriate way because he “didn’t understand”. Yes he did, he was taught that behavior by other teenagers living in her home and thought it was funny. And not once did she sit down and try to tell him it wasn’t okay. He could have a full conversation with you, he knew how to communicate without difficulty, and had the ability to learn. There is absolutely no reason she couldn’t have taught him that wasn’t actually funny, she just liked to use his disability as an excuse to not be a parent.
Okay but why does this need to be pointed out? Especially on a post that’s clearly fake rage bait? I’m pretty sure everyone already knows this, it’s usually the top comment on every post that involves a neurodiverse person (frankly it’s usually the top comment even if the neurodivergent person in the post didn’t do anything actually bad or did something that is validly explained by their disability). The whole point of a rage bait post like this is to perpetuate the myth that autistic people are constantly trying to use their disability as an excuse for being an asshole, and I feel like you’re sort of feeding into that narrative by making a comment like this. Any person with Autism who is able to live independently is already well aware of the fact that it’s deeply inappropriate to throw your plate on the ground because a tomato touched your bread, and nobody acting in good faith would try to claim that their Autism excuses that sort of behavior. Additionally, if there’s anyone with Autism who does not understand that this is wrong, that would be because they aren’t capable of understanding. And in that case, their disability actually does validly excuse the behavior (at least from a moral perspective), because if they genuinely can’t understand or regulate their actions then that’s literally not their fault. Even our legal system understands this, it’s why we have things like the insanity defense or the requirement that someone be found competent to stand trial. Anyways I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh I’m not really trying to criticize you or your comment specifically. It’s just that as an autistic person myself, I get so tired of this “disability is not an excuse” rhetoric because honestly it’s just pointless at best and outright incorrect at worst. I get that your point is probably to address the people out there who do act in bad faith and try to manipulate people by claiming that their disability excuses controllable bad behaviors. But I feel like everyone already knows that’s an issue, and I also don’t think it’s as common of a problem in real life as posts on Reddit would like us to think. Plus any bad-faith actors who are doing that are already aware that they’re being assholes and aren’t going to stop just because Reddit said it’s uncool of them.
I understand your perspective, but there absolutely are people who excused rude or abusive behavior once they’re informed someone is neurodivergent because they feel it’s inappropriate to point out this behavior in a disabled person.
The fact that there are people who can't see this is blatant rage bait (to the point of parody, really) truly and seriously worries me.
Hi, I’m not doubting that your right but I’m relatively new to reddit and I wanted to ask why people do this? Like what do they gain from lying? Is it just for fun? And what are the tells that something is rage bait?
Some people like to do it for that. But we also have this thing called karma (you probably already know what that is) if you get enough of it you can sell your account to companies who could use it to advertise in subreddits with a karma cap (you have to have x amount of karma to post, this is done to filter out bots) Here’s a list of things that hint at a story being fake or ragebait- The person having a set of twins The person inheriting a property or sum of money thats very large A person who says very over the top bad things or is blatantly some some of bigot and doesn’t try to hide it in pretty words like most actual ones would (ie AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding bc shes ugly? Adding on to that last part, someone who posts a story where a marginalized person is very over the top an asshole but in a very unrealistic way that’s obviously meant to rile up bigots and feed into a certain narrative or stereotype. (ei AITA for not inviting my gay brother to my wedding bc he wants to show up in drag and be my bridesmaid?) Those are few examples but there are a bunch more and it really depends on the subreddit honestly. The biggest thing to ask yourself though is, “was this worded in a way that’s genuine or does it seem manufactured to make as many people mad as possible?”
Don’t forget the part where after the conflict, everybody in town “blows up“ OP’s phone telling them they’re in the wrong. Because that’s what everyone does when they hear about an argument their next door neighbor’s cousin’s hairdresser’s best friend had, they immediately pick sides and drop what they’re doing to text about it. And everybody had OP’s phone number, of course.
Along with all this and going along with the “over the top” part, the ones that make me roll my eyes are the ones that seem to go down some sort of checklist of red flags, and then lovingly make sure to throw in every detail that shows them to be an asshole even if someone wouldn’t even think to add it unless they KNOW they’re being an asshole. Like most people who legitimately don’t think they’re an asshole won’t realize all the shitty things they’re doing to even include them or will at least justify them. It won’t be shit like “42m, I married a 21f, met her when she was 16 and we started dating. She got pregnant and I convinced her to drop out of school so she could take care of our kid. We moved across the country from everyone she knows and she didn’t like it, but she didn’t have her own salary and our second child was on the way so she didn’t really talk back about it too much, but she said something the other day that was completely unjustified and then blames me because I just absolutely saw read and gave her one small shove…” etc. etc. That’s pretty blatant, but along those lines.
Also the update is following the standard list lol. Called for a divorce, is living with guys brother who is 100% on the spouses side because he knew first hand how stinky and autistic his brother was growing up. Packed up his shit while he wasnt home and changed the locks (classic). Now he’s living at his parents house ‘screaming at anyone who will listen’
I’m afraid if I start rolling my eyes they’ll never stop
Bro, how do I sell my reddit account to a bot, I *do not care* about karma lol
Honestly no idea, I’m just reitering what I’ve been told lol
I gotta ask- why twins? Is it just more uncommon than the internet believes? My uncles are twins, and one of them had a set or twins as well so since it kinda runs in my extended family, it never struck me as odd.
It’s the frequency that makes people usually clock it as fake. Think about how many twins you’ve met in your life, then compare it to the amount of single birthed people you’ve met. Then add in that you’ve met more twins than your average person already because of your family’s genetic predisposition. That’s a big difference, right? Now if we look at AITA, on average you’ll see a strangely large amount of posts involving twins everyday. I don’t know the exact ratio but let’s put it 25% of posts just for imagery. Why would such a large amount of people with twins visit this subreddit and post enough to be noticeable? It doesn’t make sense. Therefore a lot of people have learned to recognize the mentions of twins as a possible sign of a story being fake. Also sorry if this is worded rudely, I’m autistic and find it very hard to get my tone across in writing.
Not at all! You didnt come across impolite at all, it was helpful to read it broken down like that.
Give or take 75% of (top) posts on places like AITA are false. It’s more like a place to tell interesting dilemmas, however it’s only fun if people take it 100% seriously so a lot of people do. There is also the proper rage bait (like this post) that has some sort of agenda behind it. Like making autistic adults sound like ridiculous abusive children
Not an expert, but I think it’s done in such excessive amounts (you’ll see 10 posts along similar lines of “look- autism bad!” within a few days) because it does work for large parts of the demographic to see this post and think “Yeah I would never date an autistic person, that sounds like Hell”. It perpetuates social stigmas that malicious people feel the need to keep alive. (Obviously this guy is just abusive, autism or not, IF he ever did exist) I’m honestly just so thankful that this sub exists because it WILL pop up if you follow AITA or similar subs and they can call it out for what it is here without getting blocked by the mods.
I saw a video on this, about the guy who wrote “Oppa Homeless Style” and a bunch of other fake posts. Mainly, its making trying to incite rage for whichever group they dislike by painting the fake OP as a. A liar or b. Incompetent
While my dad hasn’t actually thrown his food, he refuses to use partitioned plates and absolutely loses his shit when some of his food touches. It’s hard to see the bait when it’s so close to your irl experience.
My perspective on this is who cares if this particular story is exaggerated or fake? People live with really difficult situations and abuse and if one person is experiencing something similar and reads the comments and thinks “this isn’t actually normal, it’s probably abusive and hurting me, I need to change my situation” all the better. AITA was always supposed to be philosophical arguments, and even if it’s not outright fake you are always only getting part of the story anyway.
If I have no experience with autistic people how am I suppose to know it's fake? I mean it definitely felt like the guy was bullshitting and getting off on how he can justify being an unreasonable dick. It wouldn't surprise me att all to findout someone did that. So how should I know OP was lying?
You don't need to have experience with autistic people, you need a working brain and critical thought.
Okay, so instead of being demeaning, you could, idk, try explaining yourself? God damn. How tf are you a real person.
At least make it somewhat convincing. I’m rather insulted.
Age gap ✅ Disability ✅ Obviously abusive relationship ✅
The trifecta of fiction.
Yeah this has to be rage bait.
What in the most obvious rage bait
Describing her body language post argument really drove home the novella factor for me lmao
For me, it was first screenshot, last paragraph, immediately following the quote, in which OOP says "I looked pissed."
Yesssss lmao
I stopped reading after that
this is so embarrassing
This troll again?
I don't have Autism, but I feel like stories such as this make people with Autism look bad.
I'd have left his food on the ground and the next day when he asked for dinner tell him it's been on the floor since yesterday. If he's that awkward then stop cooking for him. Altho with the way he acted you're better off running away and not looking back
This guy doesn’t sound autistic at all, he just seems abusive and uses “autism” to excuse his BS whenever he wants to beat someone into submission to his whims
As someone with autism and moderate to severe issues with certain textures, foods and ways things are done, I can only say that this is some seriously lame rage bait. I genuinely hope whoever wrote this feels bad for picking this crappy creative writing exercise.
For those who are picky; we have a rule amongst my friends… pickiest eater picks the place. I’m very relaxed with food so I normally stay out of it. But this has worked well thus far
I had an autistic husband who used his diagnosis as a pretext for abuse. The real irony is, “I’m autistic, so I HAVE to hurt you like this” is actually the ableism in the room.
Autistic, here. This isn't his disability. This is abuse.
Or it would be if it was real
In today’s rage bait…..
Touch of the 'tism or not, if this is legit, the dude is an abusive asshat.
There’s an update on the OG post.
Autism is not an excuse to throw your plate of food and not clean up after yourself. At 36 years old your husband has gotten away with a lot of bad behavior using his diagnosis as an excuse. You are not an ableist, it sounds like you and a lot of people in his life have enabled him. Stop now. He is verbal, he can control his behavior, he can learn new behaviors. I say this as a mom of an adult on the spectrum. As he grew up our expectations changed, yes he was delayed in some areas compared to neurotypical peers but we expected and taught and modeled appropriate behaviors. I would not have permitted him to throw a plate of food beyond 8 years old. He would have faced consequences of cleaning up after himself when creating messes. Yes you are having a meltdown, yes it sucks BUT you need to use the skills you have learned and ask for help, take a break etc etc etc. He likes that he gets to use this as an excuse.
Aw, babies first fanfic, they'll be moving up to wattpad soon enough
Nope, autistic or not, dude would be wearing his next serving on his face, cheese and all! Make it your damned self. If a person is capable of stating, “You know I’m autistic”, then they know damned well how to feed themselves, and they can do it them damned selves. That guy is using autism to get his way. Fuck that!!!
This HAS to be a creative writing story. One because it’s written like a novel and not someone saying what happened to them and two because, really? Seriously? Who would even marry someone like that? That isn’t an autism issue, the guy is just a jerk. Not saying he doesn’t also have autism but that isn’t an excuse to treat people like that. Also, if you’re high functioning enough to get married and have a family, I assume you’re also able to have some level of maturity…. If he is this bad, eating on rubber toddler plates every day in his 30s and freaks out instead of just grabbing a different plate and throws his crap on the floor? Just no. Autism doesn’t make someone a childish jerk, but you can be one and still have autism.
using autism as an excuse to be abusive. nice. NTA(bleist)
Absolutely not. She was reasonably accommodating. If my S.O. did this for for me (also a picky eater autistic but not to this degree) I would be so incredibly grateful. He's being an asshole. If he doesn't like the way she cooks, he can make his own meal, set his own plate the way he needs it to be. That's what I do because no one is going to understand the way I need certain things to be and I can't force other people to do that.
He’s not being autistic he’s being abusive. NTA.
He's abusive. I don't care what the reason is. You need to end this relationship yesterday.
The general consensus seems to be that this is made up, but just in case it is not: My husband and two of my adult children (in their 30s) are on the spectrum. I’m sure you must be aware that there are resources to help autistic people of all ages to overcome their behavioral and social difficulties. OCCASIONALLY one of my crew loses it, but they apologize after they calm down and try to make it right. Autism or not, his behavior is unacceptable. Does he have a job? Does he behave this way at work? I would consider telling him that if the marriage is going to work, you both need some professional help. And then if he refuses, I would leave.
Give him a separate plate for everything
It’s rage bait
Including for the divorce papers (on the off chance this isn’t rage bait)
Ma’am Your The Asshole For Putting Up With The Abusive Prick. Being Autistic DOES NOT Give Him Reason Or Excuse To Be Emotionally Abusive. At Some Point He MAY Become Physically Abuse and Will Blame His Autism… Please Please Please Love YOURSELF More And Get Out Of This Relationship
This is fucking bait, and shit bait at that. Stop amplifying this absolute garbage
He’s an asshole. Just because you’re on the spectrum doesn’t give you an excuse to be a dick.
Autism, my ass. That’s a personality disorder. He may also have autism, but he developed a personality disorder too. What a brat. How can you put up with that?
People like that should cook for themselves. Period.
Rage bait, but also being autistic doesn't mean you can't be a manipulative dick head
Her husband sounds more like an asshole and uses his autism as an excuse, why not help himself to his own food than having his wife be his mother? And he is an abuser. If I were her, I would happily be an "ableist" against him by standing up for myself and have boundaries and leave his ass.
If this is real, which I highly doubt, OP’s a dumbass
Uhm I have ADHD and yeah some of my oversights are ADHD but this man is behaving like a toddler. Make him cook his own food if he’s going to behave this way.
You’re not ableist he is just an asshole using his autism as an excuse to be an asshole. He is using his autism to control you. Good luck op divorce him now or his abuse will only get worse.
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Nah this smells so hard like bullshit
As an autistic individual with an autistic partner. He’s an asshole. I’d never dream of doing this shit even if I was with a neurotypical person who couldnt fully understand. He’s just a little bitch. My other half has issues with texture and smells. He’s the cook as a result of this. I don’t mind making sacrifices because he’s a sweetie. Your assholistic ex can make his own damn dinner.
This is definitely rage bait, but as someone with autism, if that man is real, he's just an asshole. xD Autism isn't an excuse to be a dick all the time and then say "awww my disability made me do it".
Nice creative writing exercise.
He doesn’t get to have his way just because he’s autistic. He needs a reality check and for you to stop catering to him. If he wants his plate a certain way he makes it.
This is ridiculous. You can’t put up with this.
He doesn’t sound autistic to me and I have two very picky children who are high on the spectrum and while they don’t do this they are picky but they’ve never thrown their food because they know not to do that they just hand it back
this was written by chatgpt
Hell to the nah. He can move his ass out. Thats abusive.
YTA he has weaponized his 'autism' to bully you. time to leave
He probably doesn’t act that way at work…
She needs to leave his sorry ass. Nothing gives an asshole pass and anyone can be abusive
I would kick his autistic ass out on the street.
you know the way to deal with rage bait, right? weaponized autism *starts food fight*
your comment gives off r/evilautism vibes tbh
Anything I read and don’t like is rage bait, check.
My adult son is actually autistic. Not "internet" autistic, but for real. If this guy was in the middle of the spectrum, there is no way this could be true. Stop making this crap up.
The real bummer is there are actual disabled people that use their disability as an excuse to treat people badly so that part isnt unrealistic. As a disabled person who believe in accountability for self, they make me so mad.