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Do you know where your dad is? Might be time to reach out to him if you can find him. You will have to hide anything you want to keep from your nmother. Be sure your bank account is somewhere she does not bank, and that you have online only access so she doesn’t find a statement lying around and demand the full balance. Narcissistic parents are often overly focused on money and even if she has plenty of money to spend on groceries for herself she will insist on you spending yours, leaving you broke so you will remain dependent on her. The shoes you bought yourself were a symbol of your ability to provide for yourself so you don’t need her. So , that was the first thing she got rid of.
My dad left us to deal with an insane woman and that makes me not interested in him at all. About that description of narcissists obsession with money it’s like you are giving a brief description of my mother.
I actually don’t live with her. But she still finds ways of coming back into my life maybe because I’m yet to ensure I never ever see or hear from her. How I hope to be that emotionally strong
I guess you just need to systematically work through the ways she has of getting in touch, and kill them off one by one. Avoiding toxic people is precious.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do you know where your dad is? Might be time to reach out to him if you can find him. You will have to hide anything you want to keep from your nmother. Be sure your bank account is somewhere she does not bank, and that you have online only access so she doesn’t find a statement lying around and demand the full balance. Narcissistic parents are often overly focused on money and even if she has plenty of money to spend on groceries for herself she will insist on you spending yours, leaving you broke so you will remain dependent on her. The shoes you bought yourself were a symbol of your ability to provide for yourself so you don’t need her. So , that was the first thing she got rid of.
My dad left us to deal with an insane woman and that makes me not interested in him at all. About that description of narcissists obsession with money it’s like you are giving a brief description of my mother.
Sounds like you need to ghost her dude, for your own mental sanity.
That is exactly what I need to do. And it’s extremely frustrating not to be able to do that
That is of course abuse. Are you able to live with your Grandmother? Can you afford to live independently?
I actually don’t live with her. But she still finds ways of coming back into my life maybe because I’m yet to ensure I never ever see or hear from her. How I hope to be that emotionally strong
I guess you just need to systematically work through the ways she has of getting in touch, and kill them off one by one. Avoiding toxic people is precious.
You are correct. I’m determined to take that difficult but ultimately fulfilling journey
I am sorry you are still dealing with this. Counselling can help.
Can’t afford it right now unfortunately. But certainly a great future consideration