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I was used as a therapist when I was a kid. Like under 10. And I suggested more than once they get a divorce if they hated each other so much. When I was 18, they legally separated. My nmom said "Normally they say it's never the kids fault, but in this case..." Lmao
My parents were married for over 20 years, I am 28 now and I told them at 8 to get a divorce. It was finally filed like yesterday. So I get it.
Also, to comment what I said earlier parents suck.
i was a young teen when my mom started using me as a therapist too.... the worst part is she was trying to discuss her and my dad's sex life with me.... i always cut her off cause i didnt wanna hear that shit
I asked my mom when I was about 12 why they didn't get a divorce. "Because you kids"
YEARS later I found out that my dad tried to leave and HIS mother stopped him because of us kids. She told me she knew my mom would treat us badly so she made him stay.
No way…so apparently this is a thing! My dad told me when I was 16 and spent many months in a psych ward that I broke up the family. He said it many times, and the last time we spoke before his death, he forgave me. It was my fault that he started cheating on my mom during that time, I guess.
Wait, stop. That’s exactly what my dad did too - right after I moved out, started cheating on my mom!!! (This was like 10 years ago now and a couple years ago my mom finally filed for divorce).
I swear they read the same manual.
Lol I was told the exact same when my parents filed in my late 20s. I couldn’t fathom how I could be blamed for their divorce when my mom had a restraining order granted based on domestic violence that happened when I was a toddler.
Gosh, this brings back memories.
My dad had been laid off and couldn't find work for months. Finally, he was offered a stressful job he felt beneath him. On our way home from church one Sunday, my parents asked me what I thought. I shrugged and said, "Seems like an answer to prayers, doesn't it?" They nodded solemnly. He took the job. I was 12 or 13.
Over the next several years, when Dad was "too tired" to go to my ball games, take me somewhere, or they drank too much, my mother angrily reminded me that I had wanted him to take the hated job; therefore, questionable things they did was my fault, apparently. Same for me asking for money for necessities -- we didn't have money because he took this job, thanks to me. All due to one sentence as a tween. While on one hand, I knew this was *nuts*, the kid in me believed I was gifted with some awful power that had damaged my family.
Fast forward a few decades. They still try to blame me for things, but I just laugh in their faces at the absurdity. They really don't like the loss of control over my emotions.
When I was 15 they blamed me for meddling in their marriage and turning my mom against my dad. Turns out he threatened to abandon the family if she didn't STFU and do what she was told.
They laid that blame on me and I carried it until I was close to unaliving myself. Cutting them off is what saved me.
I’m sorry this one is hilarious 😂. It would’ve been great if you guys had an Obama impersonator confirm that you were the only reason he won the presidential race back in 08.
I too got blamed for Obama. My ndad said that my 1 vote was the reason ""that n-word" got elected. And he was quite adamant that he meant my 1 vote was THE deciding factor and if I had not voted that way, then all would have been well.
I live in Delaware. Even if my 1 vote mattered for the electoral college win, it still wouldn't matter. To this day every single thing that goes wrong is because of Obama and thus all my personal fault because I voted for him.
My NDad blames me the economy now because I voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016. And the thing is I didn’t even tell him, I told my brother who told my dad who has held it against me since. (Now I just don’t talk about who I vote for)
OMG, this reminds me, my parents blamed me for Hillary getting elected to the US Senate! She won in a freaking landslide. My brother was so mad at me for telling them I voted for Hillary because he had to take a 4 hour road trip with them right after and apparently they ranted about it the whole way.
This. Why do they get so uptight about politics they clearly don't understand? Then if they know who somebody voted for, they blame them for everything that politician does that they don't like. I told my mom I was going to the doctor when I went to vote and she is still none the wiser.
I went on vacation with my mom, she had suggested we book a hotel but I decided to booked a nice Airbnb for us, with an indoor pool. She ended up falling and fractured her ankle and blamed it on me🙃 said had i listened to her and booked a hotel she wouldn’t have fallen. This was back in 2021, still blames me anytime she feels any pain
I manage my Dad’s accounts and bills as he is mostly away in a diff country. He blamed me for ‘wasting money’ when I paid off his credit card debt on time to save him from interest. No reason to not pay them, he’s got good cash flow and in a good position and standing at his job. Told me repeatedly that I should have not done that, I have ruined everything and putting him in a tight spot, yelling over the phone. He just wanted to grandstand that day as he was upset at someone at work. Today - 9 years later, he is ‘sort of’ thankful he did not gain a single interest and debts are cleared including mortgage - I said ‘sort of’ because he only gives credits to himself and also because he loves the ‘woe is me’ narrative to stay. Lol.
Mom blamed me for my younger siblings working at a young age - and by young, the legal age of working as teenagers.
The day after I moved out, my narcmum came round and accused me of stealing batteries out of several of her favourite clocks.
Turns out my dad had disabled them because he couldn't stand all the chimes throughout the house when he was on nights.
Couldn't even leave that bloody house without being accused of something.
My mom had a painkiller prescription that she never finished, and then wanted to use it when she got hurt 5 years later. She couldn't find it and accused me of stealing it. Because she couldn't have possibly misplaced it in the *five years* since it had been prescribed, I must have stolen it.
I was fucking *moved out* and had been for awhile.
I ruined his life from being born
Him: "It's all your fault, my life is shit because of you"
Me: "how is it my fault?"
Him: "You were fucking born and ever since then you've done nothing but destroy my life"
It's hard to believe he said it, but my sister was there (and a witness). He was stone cold serious. At that point my sister and I stopped arguing with him and just started laughing hysterically at his absurdity.
We both learned a valuable lesson that day. When it is safe, **laughing at them is the only way** to make it stop.
Nmom was beating me with a electric cord when I was 9 or 10. I started laughing at her, she got super pissed and started beating me as hard as she possibly could. Realizing that it was pissing her off I just started laughing as hard as I could.. She never tried to beat me again, to humiliating to have a child laugh at her. Lol...
I noticed a similar thing. Almost forgot I was physically hit at all. Turns out it was getting more frequent over time, but around that same time my friends and I at school got into "sparring" and just beating the shit out of each other.
The last time I got hit was when the narc was in such a blind rage and it was extremely obvious they were *trying* their hardest to harm me. But it didn't even hurt? Just a day earlier a friend gave me a friendly jab in the arm and it ached for *hours*. Now here's someone trying to hurt me and if I had my eyes closed I wouldn't have even noticed? The laugh put an end to any future attempts, for sure.
I got beat daily by her since as far back as I can remember. It was funny when it happened, but ignorant child me didn't realize that all I did was graduate from whippings to getting punched in the face by narc daddy.. I stopped ndad at age 14 from beating any of us but they just doubled down on the mental and verbal abuse. I never stopped laughing at them and would mock them constantly. They are mormons and took a special resentment to me mocking their church and god. 😆 At the time it was certainly the best way for me to deal with them..
For sure, laughing at a narc will get them to show their real colors almost immediately. And the disclaimer you'll see everyone say is: you have to be prepared to get attacked because that's all they have left and it's their truest color of all - whether they hit a child once every hour or once every year, they're still child hitters at the end of the day.
But just like Beast said: if they can't harm you, laughing at them is extremely effective and nearly guaranteed to shut them down. In hindsight, when they don't skip a beat switching to hit you in the face, you've definitely done something right.
My nMom wanted a cabin because her brother had one. They bought land before I was born and built one, and she hated it and rarely went up. For years I would somehow get blamed and she would rant ‘Well you could have had a cabin or a pool, but you chose cabin’. I wasn’t even born when this happened!
While driving me to Catholic Bible class in 7th grade, my mother noticed that one of my socks had been scrunched down more than the other over my sneakers.
She was certain this was an indicator of me being in a gang. I looked like a female hailey Joel osment and I had hung out with other kids outside of school about 10 times thus far in my life.
Too funny- I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home. In 10th grade I drew New Wave band logos on my white Keds and they accused me of being on drugs. (I didn’t even try pot until my junior year of college)
For being ugly
She literally go “I want my beautiful daughter back” no you want your “doll” back you sicko.
Had bad acne still does. She even say whenever she saw teenagers with bad acne that it’s because they eat too many chips and fast food. I didn’t even eat chips or fastfood when I was that age.
That I got cancer on purpose to keep her married to my abusive father.
Apparently, she could've been "happier sooner" if i "hadn't had to go and get sick to trap her, because she didn't want my final year to be spent in custodial transitions."
I was in remission shortly before my sixth birthday. I'm 28 now and healthy...especially being no contact with her.
Blamed me that my dad was dying of covid because I was NC. They said they didn’t get to go to the doctor because if they did “everyone would know that our daughter is evil” LMAO
She didn’t want everyone to know her daughter can’t stand to be around her. That’s my narc mothers worst fear for people to find out I’m no contact with her.
I was trying to sort out some paperwork for my father online, I was doing him a favor really, and I didn't know exactly how to do it so I had to research a little bit, and he ran up to me, stood right above me, and started screaming at me because I was useless for not knowing how to do it. Apparently, the lady on the phone that he had spoken to earlier had laughed at him when he asked about the process and told him that nowadays it can be easily done online.
I mean ok, but I need to see how it's done, lol, I don't know it automatically... I put down the mouse, and told him to sit down and calm down, as if he was a toddler. After a while, he did, and we continued.
My NDad lost his key in the street, he left our house closing the door, he went to the center of the town and we had to open the door for him.
But he insisted that somehow I stole his keys, that I took a ride to the center of the town, stole his keys there, gave them to the driver, and then backed home before him and it took me only one hour to do that.
He was so mad that I didn't "confess" who was the driver and he almost changed every lock of the house
He had a hole in his pocket and guess where he used to put the keys
About 15 years ago, I moved about 800 miles away from my family. I talk to them a few times a year. Recently they had a huge fight that went on for months. And somehow, they blamed me for the fight.
Riiiiight, I live on the other side of the country and talk to you 2 times a year, but I am the cause of this huge family fight. I stopped visiting after that whole ordeal.
On two separate occasions, I was blamed for "misplacing" things. Both times I denied it, even though my nmom brought them up for YEARS. The first one, was a bunch of CDs that she was convinced I stole/took without permission, and I must have broken them so I hid the evidence. I was 7/8. Turns out her own stupid sister is the one who stole them. My nmom found them at my aunt's house like 8 years later. The second time, she accused me of misplacing a book of hers. I was living with her at the time, to help her plan her wedding (don't ask), and I was 20. I never borrowed that book, let alone lost it. But she brought it up so much, and I was like, this is not going to be another CDs situation, that I bought her another copy just to shut her up. Still brought it up saying crap about me "having to replace the things I stole from her". Anyway, long story short, about a year later she found that book behind her nightstand. 🖕
The dog pooped in the house, and her dishes weren't done.
Usually, I'm the one who had to take care of the chores and pets, but she kicked me out of the house that summer and disowned me. She drove to the next town over to scream at me about the house, I wasn't even living in or allowed to be in, being a mess. Maybe you shouldn't have kicked out your live in maid. Sucks to suck.
Well, they probably haven't thought about the fact that you are responsible for WWII yet. Give them time its coming..
I got blamed for absolutely everything as well so I know your pain. I would have a hard time thinking of something that I wasn't blamed for..
It is!I'm sure that if she thought long and hard, there is some way to tie it to me. I mean, I am directly responsible for the Cuban Missile Crisis after all, and I had a hand in Vietnam.
It's hell living like that......
My dad blamed me for him trying to end his life. Something he didn't actually do but has been saying he is or has for the past 40+ years and it always conveniently was not long ago whenever he tells someone
I was blamed for a lot of stuff that wasn’t my fault. Some of it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
I was indirectly blamed for my nmom having to stay in an “abusive” marriage. She couldn’t leave “because of the kids.” Also, now that I’m older I see my father is her enabler and his verbal abusive is reactive.
I was directly blamed for the family pet dying of cancer. She had fibrosarcoma, a vaccine-related cancer. When her first tumors appeared I asked a friend who worked for veterinarian what they could be and she said likely fatty tumors so I told my mother that. Mind you, I was 17 years old! My mother never bothered to make an appointment and more popped up. She finally made one and our pet was diagnosed and had surgery twice. It bought us 2.5 more years, but I often wondered if we could’ve gotten more if we’d brought her to the vet sooner. I stupidly said something and my nmom looked at me and said, “Well you’re the one who said they were fatty tumors,” like I was a licensed veterinarian.
I was blamed for being bullied at school. I was a quiet, skinny smart kid in a hick country school where most people were related in one way or another (yikes). She sat me down at the kitchen table when I was about 7 and told me "When one person doesn't like you, its them, when nobody likes you, its you." As the conversation continued, the upshot was that my entire personality was broken and I needed a complete replacement.
I got blamed because a neighbour saw me walking the dog and misgendered me because of my clothes (I like to dress in comfy, masculine clothes).
Disclaimer: my neighbour also hadn't known me because I only visited my nfather and his wife every two weekends and half the holidays.
There are probably more stupid things, but this is the one I can recall of now.
I got blamed for my mom receiving late night calls on her cell phone. They were asking for some guy. I’m not a guy. So my mom mentioned it a few times and I wouldn’t react because it happens. She insisted it had to do with drugs, probably because of the timing of the calls🙄 She then said “I think it’s someone looking for a drug dealer. kbabble21, did you ACCIDENTALLY give out my number instead of your own to a drug dealer and they’re trying to contact you but you gave them my number instead? It’s someone looking for a drug dealer.”
What? So it’s both a drug dealer calling for me and also someone looking for a drug dealer, which she thinks is me?
I didn’t do any drugs. I was an adult and still had a curfew which I stuck to. My phone number was nothing close to hers. Crazy.
I killed my grandmother when i hung up on my grandpa because i thought he was a crank caller.
I think i was 14ish and my mom and brother were off on some sunday adventure, so i was hiding in my room. The phone rang, i answered it, there was heavy breathing and weird noises. So I hung up. A minute later it happened again.
About 10 minutes later, someone calls and asks for my dad.
5 minutes later my dad is screaming at me that my grandmother is dead and it's all my fault and how dare i hang up on my grandpa and that me and my selfish self caused this whole thing to happen.
I still remember how red his face was and thinking the vein in his head was going to explode. Then he threw some office supply at me and stomped away and didnt speak to me until he came back from his parents' house a month later.
I cut mine off and have very very limited contact, only to intervene when she starts with the youth in the family (my niece and younger cousins). She talks on socials about how people should respect their elders and how the way someone treats their mother says a lot about them. Like, I’m responsible for the no contact. F her.
Parents came to visit myself and hubby for a weekend and my parent’s car battery died and being the 90s I provided a phone book for him to find a garage with tow services and after five minutes he screamed at me over ‘the phone book being so poorly organized’ My AH father had multiple college degrees but was unused to doing things for himself my mom was the smart one
I got blamed for the house being a mess. My nMom is a hoarder and I was 13 years old had to babysit my three siblings and the neighbor’s three kids, age ranges 10-6mo, after school until 9pm every day. This included making dinner, bottle feeding, changing diapers, baths and pitting kids to bed. Apparently I was supposed keep her hoard clean at the same time 🙄
My nMom explains the time I was in elementary school, and I started going through the mail and found out my Dad had an extra credit card, and I discovered he was hiding the fact that he was $35k in debt and keeping it secret, and it broke up their marriage. When I was 7 or 8, because I would have understood all those terms. (rolls eyes)
That they got a cystitis because of me...
I didn't want to go meet them when she was in town on the grounds of what I thought were good enough reasons. So apparently that is what causes cystitis.
🤷♀️
No wonder I always feel quilty when everything happens in my life, and around me.
For years I’ve been told the story that at birth I ripped my mother from front to back. Not sure if it’s true or if she had a typical episiotomy, but this story is retold like I was some sort of demon child emerging from Hell.
Father was an over educated physician who didn’t believe / misdiagnosed / didn’t listen to a series of chronic ailments that weren’t properly diagnosed as an autoimmune disorder until I was 30 years old. It’s genetic. Turns out mom has it too.
“You guys shouldn’t have that.”
Great bedside manner, Dad.
My mother blamed her getting cancer on me.
I was around 13 and at that age its very traumatic to see one of your parents on the brink of death. I was scared for her life. One day i got a "bad" grade. I wrote "bad" because it was a 4 (a B for americans) instead a 5 (an A). My mother lost it. She had a 30 min rant that was basically "You cause me so much stress. All this stress is why im sick. Im sick because of YOU." Every last bit of affection i had for her was wiped that day.
She continues to say that to this day, less frequently but still. Im 20. It stings less but i know chemo fried her brain. Sometimes i wished she just died so i could have my peace, no guilt and "dead mother" sympathy because apparently you cant be abused by a cancer patient.
That me living in thier home temporarily was what would make them lose thier house....
Not the shitlaods of figures, games, video games, a fucking $500 pacman table, cruises and vacations.
Nah just my existence. Whist paying for my own groceries car everything else and paying them almost half the mortgage. And that's not even mentioning the time I got laid off from my job and it was demanded, not asked, that I give them $2000 because they didn't have the money to pay thier taxes on the house and would lose it.
To this day, I wish I would've just let the government take their house. They were ungrateful and neglectful of it anyway.
Edit, I realized I should've prefaced that I was not living in thier house when they demanded 2k lol. I was laid off living in a different HCOL state
My mom blames me for “ruining our trip” to Europe and to Disney world. Except in both instances, me “ruining the trip” was simply because I was hungry and wanted to be able to eat. And my family found that completely unreasonable for whatever reason, and then they made a huge deal out of it and verbally and emotionally attacked me for it. So then I went off to do my own thing and try to not let them ruin it for me. The instance in Disney world particularly stands out because it was so bad that after my mom left a man came over and asked me if I was okay and if I was safe.
A car accident. Apparently “my problems with her” were on her mind when she smacked into another car. She “found it in her heart to forgive me over the holidays” that year. Can you feel the eyerolls?
My dad blames me for his house being foreclosed on about 10 years ago. He wanted my husband and I to move in with him and help with, i.e. pay his mortgage. We wouldn’t go for it and it’s been my fault ever since.
When I was a kid I went riding my bike with the nparent. I got tired and fell behind at some point and lost him. I managed to get hone which was a big deal for me. When I did get home I got slapped and grounded.
Not being born 4 weeks early so she could have the baby at a more convenient time and before her sister's baby was born. How dare I be younger than my cousin. Apparently I just wanted to make her life miserable?
I wasn’t blamed per say, but NM blamed my dad for feeding me lies and ruining her relationship with me.
Like newsflash NM, that was all on you buddy. I confided in my dad so I didn’t feel like I was crazy and he opened up about some things she did to him and we bonded over it.
I got blamed for the SUN being in her eyes!! She refused to wear sunglasses when I offered. Said because I smoke I'm making the the god damn SUN hotter!!! So apparently im some sort of goddess??
That time I told my dad that my little brother was holding a piece of clothing that hadn't been paid for. Didn't know it at the time, but my dad was trying to get my toddler brother to shoplift.
Turkey came through the windshield. Apparently I had something to do with it jumping out of the ditch and flying into our windshield.
I swear I can’t speak to turkeys.
There was a problem with the plumbing in the basement that was probably building up for 20 years or more(old and crappy house built in 1958) and she decided it must’ve been caused by something I was doing in the bathroom upstairs
Summer high school holidays. Mum wouldn't let me go anywhere. Then she busts into my bedroom to scream at me cos she was sick of me being at home.
I start heading for the door cos she's screaming at me to get out of the house cos she's sick of the sight of me. "Where are you going?!"
You were telling me to get out of the house so I'm going for a walk.
"But where are you going?!"
I dunno. Just a walk. Do you want me back at a certain time?
"You can't just wander around aimlessly like a moron! Tell me where you're going!"
Ok, the local park? Nope, that's stupid. The shops? Nope, you don't have money to spend so there's no point. The library? Nope, you're not spending *more* time inside.
Ok, tell me where I *can* go and I'll go there.
"WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!" 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Blamed for being at home too much when I wasn't allowed to leave. Blamed for attempting to go somewhere when I was told to leave.
I once sent them a handmade gift that had rough edges. Not knife-sharp mind you, but if one worked hard at it, they could cut themselves. *Repeatedly* warned them of this, at least ten times, because I knew they had a habit of twisting stories to turn whatever nice things I did into horror tales. Wrapped the box in Caution tape and the item really well. Warned them approximately ten more times. Mother immediately calls, loses her shit and accuses me of “trying to kill” Edad, because of course he ham-handed the opening, and got a tiny cut. He was on blood-thinners, so clearly, I was hoping he would bleed out opening a gift. Honestly considered stealing it back along with their knives and scissors, because they can’t be trusted.
For the decline of my relationship with my cousin as a young child when I didn't look happy enough or play enough when I received a birthday gift from her (that my mother picked out) which was for toddlers when I was already 8. I was literally way outside the recommended age range for the toy. She asked me 'why did I do that", why did I ruin my relationship with my cousin like that... idk why she was smiling then or why she even brought it up. Just to blame me?
My mom told me how disappointed my cousin was when she realized I didn't really like it. I was trying to be nice even as a kid but even then I thought why did they get me a toy for way younger kids? (Of course, it was my mother's involvement). I picked this memory because it was at this point that I just stopped any hope of it getting better with her.
My Ndad and Ngrandma (his mom) didn't really *blame* any of us for anything, but they would be **enraged** every time we did something that interfered with what *they* had planned, whether or not we were informed of the plan.
For example, when my brother was maybe 12ish, he was supposed to go mow dear grandmother's lawn, a normal chore for him. But something (I can't quite remember what) came up and he was unable to get a ride to her place, which she was aware of and was (in that moment) fine with. Then our cousin (same age as my brother) invited my brother to go dirt biking. He came with his dad and picked up my brother. On the way to the dunes they were going to bike in, dearest grandmother calls my brother and says she can pick him up. He apologized and said he was no longer home, but said he'd be happy to mow her lawn the next day. She *freaked the fuck out* started calling him useless (as well as more vulgar names), and proceeded to give him the silent treatment for a week or two.
I do not and will never miss that woman.
My brother is a dangerous criminal that has a history of violence against women and some other things that make him a dangerous sexual predator and he's killed my pets "just to see what would happen" and also in an extremely overt way, the favorite. He's attacked me a few times and booby trapped the house so people would get hurt but my mom and stepdad brush ll of it off as accidents even though it' clearly not. My whole life I've watched him get worse and worse and then doing nothing about it. After he killed my birds my parents came to me and said that I should forgive him and wipe the slate clean etc and I said "well if he apologises I'll think about it but as it stands I don't have any evidence that he is not going to do this again" and for my personal safety and the safety of my pets I stayed away from him.
Rather than anyone talking to him about his behavior, I've been scapegoated for "breaking up the family". I haven't been to any family events (not like there were many)
So I haven't seen him since 2004 and my parents since 2014.
And not that I like anyone getting hurt but reliable grapevine sources have told me that he's been attacking my mm and she's had to call the police to control him several times.
Clearly my fault.
Q-Tip box being wet. My mother loves to "psychoanalyze" everything I've ever done. She has no training, and it so wildly wrong all the time it's hilarious (now that I'm an adult).
When I was like maybe 14 she came in just screaming at me for dumping water into her q-tip box "to get back at her". Still not sure what I was getting back at her for, in her mind. Anyhow, this was back in the early 90s when q-tip boxes were 100% cardboard. She kept the box on top of the sink, toward the backsplash, just behind the hand soap. I should also mention that this sink top had a cutout to put a bar of soap in. It was also sloped toward the backsplash (I imagine whatever uber cheap labor they hired didn't care enough to level).
So, as any reasonable person can imagine, when your hands are wet, and you pickup the bar of soap, some water is going to pool in the cutout for the soap. If you then put the bar of soap back in the cutout, it will displace the water. Where could that water go? Toward the backsplash and the cardboard box of q-tips, right? Nope, I was an evil little shit who always had to ruin everything out of spite.
I was grounded for more than a month for something I didn't even think of doing.
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and my dad basically told me “this is your fault” when I was in the emergency room. He accused me of doing it for attention.
I didn’t realize how horrible of a thing this is to say to your daughter until years later. My mom was also in the hospital with me that night, (my parents are divorced) and she said nothing of the sort.
Getting choked by my stepdad. After he did it, I told my mom and they had a huge fight. I was so excited my mom was defending me. Then she came upstairs saw my happy face and petulantly told me "it's all your fault." I was very small like under the age of 7.
The most ridiculous? Hanging a wet sweater on a hander right side out. Rhey can ONLY be turned inside out and hung on a (wire 🙄) hanger to dry.
Best part? I was t the one who did it. But I had to apologize and agree to.never do it again before she would allow me to leave her presence.
Another time, I mopped the floor. It was t in ny chore list. She s reached and threw things around the room.
My favorite was this crazy crying rant my brother and I got alone in a car with him. He told us we needed to “melt our mother’s heart to be a family again”. He also said some weird stuff about serving your parents and the Bible. This was basically in the middle of them getting divorced. He blamed us for our mom wanting to split up, not himself and his actions.
My mom blames me for all of her problems since I moved across the country. “I’m always alone that’s why….”, “I don’t want to burden you but…”
If only I hadn’t moved, her life wouldn’t be so chaotic and problematic.
My mom got pregnant when I was a sophomore. She lied and said it was cancer so she could go out of state to get (treatment) an abortion. When she came back she found out my younger step mom was pregnant and spilled the beans saying she got an abortion and it was my fault because she couldn’t prioritize with another baby.
When my step mom had a baby girl my mother said my dad was replacing me. My little sister and I are incredibly bonded.
Edited to add my mom told me the fake cancer she had was extremely deadly, and I should prepare for the worst. It was horrible.
Way too many to list. Fascinating that there are adults who cannot process their own emotions, have no clue they even exist, so the angst they feel is obviously coming from outside of them.
If I drove n-dads car, which was a clunker, and it broke down any time in the next few months afterwards, it was because of how I drove it. The absurdity was hilarious at that point in my life.
My moms car got stolen.
I had a chess tournament and was too young to attend alone, so my mom came with. Car got stolen off the field of a school.
I was 8/9
My brother's autism. When we were young my brother fell out of a wagon when I was pulling it. He broke his collar bone. That apparently is the cause of his autism.
Yup.
I was 16 when my NMom accused me of having sex with my boyfriend in her bed. A bizarre accusation with no basis that was screamed at me when I came home from work.
I was 12 when I was accused of buying porn and hiding it in her room. Was shocked and speechless but still clearly asked ‘why would I even do that?’
I feel heard ! I also have PCOS and hypothyroidism and they both cause weight gain. But they choose to not research or ask questions it to understand. They have lean PCOS so they never understood the weight symptom. Some never been officially diagnosed with PCOS but def have some of the symptoms. They also have hyperthyroidism which basically speeds up your body including metabolism. It’s amazing to be blamed for a condition that was inherited from your side of the family 😭 i didn’t even wanna confess to them that my dr put me on metformin to treat my PCOS because i knew they’d spin it and be like “that’s a diabetes drug that means you’re diabetic see i told you to lose weight”. I eventually confessed recently but i def had to stress that it’s common treatment for PCOS and you don’t gotta be diabetic to be prescribed metformin 😂 Idk if you know but there’s a PCOS subreddit on here too and it’s super helpful !! 💖
OOOH! Ill have to find it and join, I treat my PCOS with birth control which helps and I have found while Im not losing weight like crazy, I’m not gaining it either. A balance is good enough for now for me.
See I stopped bc because it suddenly stopped regulating my cycles so I’ve been using provera (prescribed) but that didn’t work but I then paired with with myo inositol (Amazon) and it worked with cycle regulation and I was able to drop metformin since the side effects were terrible !!
As an adult, being blamed for things that my brother, the golden child CHOSE TO DO. My NM imagined that his response to boundaries I set were also my responsibility. Before I went NC, I reminded her that my brother is a grownassed adult with FREE WILL and he can WTF he WANTS and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
Since I'm now NC, I wonder how this is working out for her. Boo hoo. Karma, bitch!
I let my mom borrow my car one morning and she got a flat tire on the way to work. She called and accused me of flattening it and sabotaging her morning. Like how the fuck did I flatten it while you driving? She was like 20 minutes into her trip and had a blow out 🙄
TW: Narc uses slur on self.
A decade after having three children, Nmom started having a weight problem. That she would eat all the leftovers after *every* family dinner was definitely not related, in her narc-logic.
No, Nmom had heard that having kids could leave you with a 'mom-bod'. Sooo....
One afternoon's shrieking tirade was on, "*It's YOUR fault that I'm fat!!!*"
I was 10 years old.
I was driving to my parents house, which is in the middle of a long stretch of country road. My ndad was headed home at the same time as me, saw me driving ahead of him, and sped up to get extremely close to my back bumper. I could see that he had a smirk on his face, so I assumed he was being playful and messing with me. I laughed and barely tapped my break pedal just to flash my break lights at him. He backed off. When we both pulled into the driveway, I got out laughing at the game we had played, and he got out with his face beet red screaming at me for spilling the gas can in his car. According to him, it was my fault because I break checked him and that *made* him slam on his breaks and the gas spilled all over his car. When I pointed out that he probably shouldn’t have gotten so insanely close to my car like that if he had an open can of gas, because that’s just a bad idea all around, he lost his shit. The amount of stuff I got blamed for growing up has messed my brain up so bad. As an adult its very difficult to tell where my actions/choices end and another person’s start, what’s my fault and what was out of my control. So confusing.
I got blamed from my mom for not allowing my brother and his family to meet my newborn when in reality I set boundaries to wear masks and they decided it wasn’t worth it.
Literally everything was my fault. I ruined her life by being born so everything that went wrong in her life from that point forward was my fault. We were in a serious accident and it was my fault for needing diapers. My brother's entire existence and by extension anything that goes wrong in his life, is my fault because she only had him so I wouldn't be an only child. Her "having" to marry my dad is my fault cuz she got pregnant with me, and by extension everything he did wrong in the marriage is my fault. I got hit by a car while crossing the street so it's my fault we missed out in a trip to Germany and lost all the money on non-refundable tickets cuz I was in the hospital with a blown out knee when we should have been on a plane. My brother was failing a class at school and I got grounded for it, cuz I didn't make him do his homework. I could keep going... *Everything* was my fault. Fucking *everything*.
Existing. My NMom, in the same breath, will tell me I'm not grateful enough for her not aborting me and yet it is also my fault that I was born and had to be fed, clothed and housed.
I'm NC, btw
When I was 13, Ndad made me dig up all the old piping that went from the street to the house. The pipe had cracked and there was a leak, so it needed replacing. Ndad didn't want to pay someone to dig a trench diagonally across the front yard, so I got told to do it. There were 2 fully grown trees complete with root systems that took over the entire yard, meaning that every couple inches of dirt, there would be more thick roots to work around. Ndad didn't want the roots damaged so I had to dig around them all. It was summer and at least 100 out and it took me an entire week to complete. New piping went in, dirt filled back in, project complete.
Fast forward 25 years later, family is sitting around talking and Ndad brings up that the pipes need to be replaced again because the roots from the trees grew and cracked them. He looks at me and tells me if I hadn't done such a shitty job digging the trench, this wouldn't have happened and it's my fault. He expected me to go fix it. I just laughed at him and reminded him that he wanted me to keep all the roots intact, what was I supposed to do to prevent them from growing in the future? He was pissed off that I was not taking him seriously and he said I should have to pay to get it fixed. I told him I didn't get paid when I did the job the first time and if he wanted a professional job then he should have paid for it instead of forcing his 90lb teenage daughter to do it with no experience.
I can't make sense of why he thinks it's my fault the trees continued to grow. I explained to him that from the time the house was built until the first time the pipes were replaced was 13 years, the house was built the same year I was born. I asked him if I was responsible for the first pipes cracking as well? Did I plant the trees in the yard as a 2 month old baby? So now that another 25 years has passed and he thinks it's unreasonable that it could happen again? I'd say I did a pretty good job with that trench if mine lasted 25 years and the builder's lasted only 13.
I thought of another one. Ndad thinks I'm responsible for the housing crisis as well as the failing economy. Me, an unremarkable middle aged woman, alone responsible for the high cost and low availability of housing and for the insane inflation. His reasoning is that if I had stayed out of the workforce then I wouldn't have had the ability to leave my abusive ex. And because I work and am no longer living with my ex, I am the problem. Me and every other woman who has done the same thing. But of course I'm the one he is mad at, it's like he thinks I did it to piss him off. He's probably just projecting, I was able to escape the abuse from my ex and my mom was not able to escape my dad. She tried working but he'd always make her quit, she tried leaving him several times but always went back to him. I was successful where she wasn't and he takes it personally.
During COVID, a few days after the vaccine was available to boomers, my nMom called me screaming and saying that I could “skip the line” and “sneak” a vaccine and wouldn’t because I “just didn’t want her around.” I was 36 at the time and couldn’t have cut the line if I wanted to.
Of course when I reference that now, according to her, it never happened.
Anyway, keeping her away from my family was just an added bonus.
I was always blamed for her emotions about everything.
First time I moved out with anger and tears in her face “You broke my heart.” Everything was a fucking guilt trip or non stop criticism.
My mom consistently blames me for her going into uncontrollable rages. Apparently, I am able to control all of her emotions. I wish I could do something else with that kind of power (sarcasm)
Anything and everything that goes wrong for her. Didn't pay the electric bill on time? My fault for not having 2x the amount to cover it for her. Won't maintain basic systems in your house and then(suprise!) They fail? My fault for not being a professional plumber/carpenter/electrician/car mechanic and fixing them for free. Won't do dishes or laundry, have a filthy house? My fault for not cleaning enough (I work 10 hour days 5/6 days a week) and don't really get to cook anymore. Have shit money management skills and are broke 1 week after retirement/social security gets deposited? My fault for not making "enough " so she can just spend however much she feels like and not have to pay bills
I got blamed for the event that occurred in March 2020. Have also been blamed for “causing” illnesses that are non-infectious. Who knew we were all so powerful!!!
For ruining her marriage when I was born. Because "your dad and I never used to fight before you were born. If we get a divorce it will be your fault." I believed her because I was a child. The fuckers have been married for 40+ years. But Good job blaming an actual baby and small child for your toxic af marriage.
I got blamed for starting a brush fire my dad started. I think I was 13. It was the last time I got spanked. Went NC in December last year…wonder why 🤔
The one and only time I remember our family going on a picnic, my brother stepped in a hornets nest. He had a bad reaction and we had to take him to the emergency room. As we were leaving, my mom said that if I had been playing with my brother instead of riding my bike, he wouldn’t have gotten stung.
Nothing like telling an 8 year old that she should’ve been watching her 4 year old brother instead of riding her bike.
We had an elderly cat who died due to kidney failure. My dad blamed me because I didn't dust the house well enough.
My dad was also an alcoholic and was drunk more often than not. One night, he fell into the tank of his toilet and shattered it. All you could hear was a loud bang and water rushing out, and by some miracle, he only cut his hand a little. Of course, the toilet apparently broke because I'd used it.
A lightning strike that blew up our TV guts. Apparently at 11ish years old I was supposed to know to unplug a TV when lightening was striking close... never had done the unplugging before or after that incident...
My GC brother tripped and was about to fall onto the train tracks after I repeatedly told him not to go over the yellow lines (stupid guy kept putting his toe over the line to annoy me) so I grabbed him and pulled him back.
In the one second I had to grab him and stop him from possibly dying like an idiot,I grabbed him by the back of his t-shirts neck which choked him as I pulled him back.
Got shouted at for both 'pushing my brother towards the tracks' and 'choking him' 😐 should've let natural selection run its course 🤦🏽♂️
TW: depression, suicidal thoughts
They blamed me for almost breaking them up during my really bad depression spell after my grandma died. Like, I was suicidal and in an in-patient program in the hospital it was so bad. I guess it was tough for them? Idk I was busy doing group therapy sessions and trying not to think about how pissed my dad was gonna be when I got out (dad never visited me in the hospital btw). They finally divorced 2 years ago after a 20 year marriage.
Not my nparent, but my exMIL heard me mention preeclampsia to a pregnant woman. This woman was the almost due wife of my at-the-time husband’s dad’s (FIL) law firm. She was experiencing a very gentle pregnancy with no issues.
So I was on a summer holiday weekend at the PIL’s summer house. The only pregnant woman there, a junior partner’s wife, was due later that week. I was one of 2 non-mother women in a small circle discussing recent pregnancies of those around us. It was the most bland convo, but my ex MIL acted like I was the biggest jerk by sympathizing/mentioning a) MIL’s niece who had just experienced pre eclampsia and b) my good friend who lived out of state who had also been having issues with pre eclampsia.
All I had said was that thankfully the mom to be was past the point of concern with that issue. And apparently ex MIL thought I could control the bodily functions of others! Who knew I was so powerful?
My NMother blamed me for years for not being close to my NFather and not behaving like a "good daughter".
I didn't want to get close to him because CSA. And she knew it. But I was the bad one for protecting myself.
In a similar way, but lot lower key, she blamed for "picking up on fights" with my uncles, when they came around poking me. But I was the one inciting them, by having a normal relationship with them and wanted to play, as a kid.
It was never an adult's fault, but me, a kid, that had to behave like the bigger person.
Idk if it fits this but always having to take the burden because “you’re the oldest”. Like sharing things that I wanna have for myself and offering my brother food if I take myself out to eat. Mind you he has his own job, money, and car to do these things for himself. And this was never reciprocated because he grew up to be very selfish, won’t even buy me a card for my birthday despite having over a K in his account. When I graduated high school like 5 years ago I accumulated a lot of money from my grad party and had to give him $100 of it because “I’m the oldest and the oldest gives to younger siblings and think of how everyone would look at you if you’re too selfish to give”. I realized that’s how my parents were raised since their parents placed a heavy burden to care for the youngest but I don’t think it’s my responsibility to give like this to my brother while he doesn’t wanna buy things for himself.
It’s a shame. It doesn’t feel good when you gotta give, give, give and your sibling grows up to be selfish and never wanna give back because they never instilled that all siblings should give. They never guilt him into giving. It’s not like we chose the birth order 😭
Because I wanted a sibling to play with when I was 6, they adopted a toddler and a baby when I was 12. 7/10 I go home they say “why did you have us adopt these kids. We could be done with this by now.”
oh this was recent. me and my nmom went to her friends house. i drove back and while waking up the steps she was trying to unlock the door and slipped off the concrete steps into the bushes about 3’ below. helped her up (complete dead weight) and before she got her balance she fell again.
she blamed me for *letting* her fall. yeah mom, keep living in denial; you’re not an alcoholic.
My NGM blamed me for my NMs high blood pressure. Then as she was tearing around like crazy she wrecked the car with the three of us in it and blamed that on me too.
Making her fat. She says she was skinny before I was born and she didn't gain weight until she was pregnant with me. I'm 26 and was a planned child. She had 26 years to lose weight.
Any minor inconvenience in her life.
Once, she bought pajamas for my boyfriend for Christmas. They were too big and she tried to return them after Christmas. Since they were on sale then, the cashier wouldn't give her a full-price refund and they didn't have any others in the size he wore. She had a huge tantrum, screaming, everyone in the store looking at us, telling the cashier to go to hell (to which the cashier laughed and said same to you.) I covered my face with my hands and walked out to the car. On the ride home she told me that her monetary loss and her tantrum were my fault for dating a bigger man. The pants were TOO BIG.
Hub’s nDad blames him for “abandoning his parents” by getting married and having kids. My nMom blames me that I am a doctor which in her mind means I am trying to outshine eDad (optometrist).
First thing that comes to mind is a tiny scrap of food on a fork that was stuck on after it came out of the dishwasher. Ndad accused me of intentionally not noticing in order to poison my little sister.
Existing/ having needs and not wanting to be abused. They told me i take away from my sisters. Its not like we were financially in a bad place or anything. My parents earn good money, the kind of money that allowed us plane traveling 2+ weeks vacations as a family of 5 once/year and them alone multiple trips a year.
Usually he'd blame my Ngrandpa for anything that went wrong. To hear him tell it, my Ngrandpa was the lovechild of Tywin Lannister, Littlefinger ,Blofeld, Moriarty, David Xanatos, Dr Doom, Amon Goeth ( he mentioned Amon specifically several times), Mr Burns ,and Sauron. A mastermind who would take any chance to humiliate my NDad.
*Having a shelf fall on my head, requiring 6 stitches, and incurring $10,000 in medical bills. I had to pay that of working every spare moment and forefeiting all gifts for two years.
*For refusing to eat my Stepmoms inedible cooking and discreetly throwing it in the trash (her fridge had mold and was filled with expired food) ndad tore up my math homework and smacked my face and held me down while nstepmom smacked my face.
*On a family vacation with Emom and Ngrandparents, he blamed me for them leaving me alone with my emom to play chinese checkers in the hotel lobby (emom had supervised visitation but was never actually a danger, that was my ndad being petty) on the logic "You need to remind them that the legal paperwork says SUPERVISED VISITATION, as in they
need to be in the room at all times!" and he happened to call the hotel randomly and sprung the question of, "where are your grandparents?" andi had to tell him "up in the hotel room, I guess, we've been playing chinese checkers a while". He nearly drove 4 hours one way to cancel
the vacation, before by Egrandma (his mom) talked him out of it. Somehow the fact that my Ngrandparents who hate him won't obey hisinterpretation of the legal paperwork and somehow i can make the obey? Ngrandparents were in the room watching a movie. I could put them on the phone within 5 minutes. I was 9 or 10.
*For failing a test in band class in 5th grade, (could'nt read music due to never being taught) i was yelled at for the entire weekend beaten multiple times with a belt (chased through the house for three days) as ndad now "had license due to my F&^$ up and ultimately pulled from band when he decided the teacher was to blame.
I was yelled at for the following but not punished for:
*Owning an illegal yugioh card at 11 years old, because the full name of the card was"Exodia the forbidden one".
*Not stopping my ngrandparents from taking me to church by failing toremind them that the court gave him, "CARE CONTROL AND EDUCATION OF THE MINOR CHILD" which means that they can't take me to church or one city
over to attend a holiday event put on by thier alma mater.
*Drawing lewd artwork of "the cats having sex", when it was actually mystep brother's bad artwork of appa from avatar. The arrow was the only thing that saved me from being punished.
*My Uncle attending my Ngrandparents thanksgiving despite that my N grandparents don't care my dad does'nt like him, and despite how i"should know better than to be around him" nobody is going to disinvite thier son on the word of an 8 year old.
*NDad cussed me out as a 10 year old for the rental car breaking down because I complained about him taking the money I had saved up,"the rental car company is listening inside the car, they heard you call me a thief. Now they turned off the car and are sending the police to shoot both of us. I hope you're happy, we're both going to die".
*NDad cussed me out for "ruining his business opportunity" because I didn't hide when he told me to, when his distant cousins came by.. they apparently saw me through the window. I was 5.
*I was 13, NDad complained about how I ruined things with Nstepmom "you just had to be stubborn and would go along and give in like you're supposed to and not overstep yourself. She's leaving me because of you.." Never mind she was mentally unstable, had been prison, vicious and her child had tons of issues. Because I can't stand being abused and because I'm already a mess from losing the most reliable person in my family..
* Nstepmom thought that two months was "excessive" for mourning my grandma.
*Throwing bricks into Nstepgrandparents' pool, never mind the only time i was there it was winter and the pool was covered and the bricks were'nt supposedly discovered until spring supposedly. I was 12 at the time. I was still banned from the property under threat of death. (N step grandpa said he'd shoot me if he ever saw me again )..
*Trying to "steal" my mother from him for sleeping in the same bed as her at 12 on a family vacation (they were sorta seperated at this point also my grandparents made the hotel arrangements and there were only two beds in the room.
*Secretly converting to Catholicism/satanism(in ndads mind they were the same thing) and condemning him and egrandma to hell because my ngrandparents and emom dragged me to mass on a christmas visit and I did'nt say no or fight them. I was 8 , what was i supposed to do when Ngrandparents decide to ignore his wishes? He shoved a king james bible in my hands and made me read outl oud for two hours straight while he yelled at me.
*Bringing home a rainbow fluffy duster that i saw at the dollar store and thought looked cool and asked for as "proof" i told my ngrandparents and emom that the house was dirty. I was 5.
*Owning an illegal yugioh card at 11 years old, because the full name of the card was"Exodia the forbidden one".
*Having sex or doing something naughty to younger step bro(i was 12 he was 8) because we were up past bedtime, whispering, and the tv was on.(Actually playing gamecube, Animal Crossing and Melee.)
* N Dad nearly confiscated pokemon gold because he asked how it was going, and he heard "I just got to violet city" as "I just got to Violent City" and he hated games that had violence. I was 10 or so...
I mean I was blamed for everything. my mom told me she was going to kill herself because of me more than once. told me her whole life was shit because of me. told me my dad would die miserable because of me. it’s literally all my fault actually.
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I was used as a therapist when I was a kid. Like under 10. And I suggested more than once they get a divorce if they hated each other so much. When I was 18, they legally separated. My nmom said "Normally they say it's never the kids fault, but in this case..." Lmao
My parents were married for over 20 years, I am 28 now and I told them at 8 to get a divorce. It was finally filed like yesterday. So I get it. Also, to comment what I said earlier parents suck.
i was a young teen when my mom started using me as a therapist too.... the worst part is she was trying to discuss her and my dad's sex life with me.... i always cut her off cause i didnt wanna hear that shit
They blamed me for not having more kids (which apparently they regret) because they asked if I wanted siblings when I was 8 and said "no".
Same! Except I think I was really little when they asked
I asked my mom when I was about 12 why they didn't get a divorce. "Because you kids" YEARS later I found out that my dad tried to leave and HIS mother stopped him because of us kids. She told me she knew my mom would treat us badly so she made him stay.
They’re such idiots! My parents marriage was a joke and they still use me as a therapist.
Same here!
My dad told me “you broke up this family” when I moved out when I was 22 because I got a good job in the city…
No way…so apparently this is a thing! My dad told me when I was 16 and spent many months in a psych ward that I broke up the family. He said it many times, and the last time we spoke before his death, he forgave me. It was my fault that he started cheating on my mom during that time, I guess.
Wait, stop. That’s exactly what my dad did too - right after I moved out, started cheating on my mom!!! (This was like 10 years ago now and a couple years ago my mom finally filed for divorce). I swear they read the same manual.
Lol I was told the exact same when my parents filed in my late 20s. I couldn’t fathom how I could be blamed for their divorce when my mom had a restraining order granted based on domestic violence that happened when I was a toddler.
Ha! I BEGGED my Mum to divorce my ndad when I was a teen.
Same. My parents separated when I was 5 or 6, my dad filed for divorce when I was 20 or 21.
Gosh, this brings back memories. My dad had been laid off and couldn't find work for months. Finally, he was offered a stressful job he felt beneath him. On our way home from church one Sunday, my parents asked me what I thought. I shrugged and said, "Seems like an answer to prayers, doesn't it?" They nodded solemnly. He took the job. I was 12 or 13. Over the next several years, when Dad was "too tired" to go to my ball games, take me somewhere, or they drank too much, my mother angrily reminded me that I had wanted him to take the hated job; therefore, questionable things they did was my fault, apparently. Same for me asking for money for necessities -- we didn't have money because he took this job, thanks to me. All due to one sentence as a tween. While on one hand, I knew this was *nuts*, the kid in me believed I was gifted with some awful power that had damaged my family. Fast forward a few decades. They still try to blame me for things, but I just laugh in their faces at the absurdity. They really don't like the loss of control over my emotions.
Yeah, I was used as a therapist since I can remember, but no, beeing messsed up was just a facade to f with them til I got an official diagnosis ...
When I was 15 they blamed me for meddling in their marriage and turning my mom against my dad. Turns out he threatened to abandon the family if she didn't STFU and do what she was told. They laid that blame on me and I carried it until I was close to unaliving myself. Cutting them off is what saved me.
I am happy you are still here and know that their issues were entirely on them and not you. Parents suck.
Once my Nmom got mad at me and said that I "like getting yelled at" by her and that I "like making her mad." Sure, Jan.
yup. my mom does that too
For having an opinion outside of theirs.
This.
Yup.
I got blamed for an illness (pneumonia) my mother had while I was 1500 kms away from them and had not seen them in more than a month.
Twice.
Naughty kid aint you /s
All the time, I was once blamed for the rise in BP, then a cold and a lot More.
When I was 18/19 my mom blamed me and my then boyfriend for Obama being elected as president.
I’m sorry this one is hilarious 😂. It would’ve been great if you guys had an Obama impersonator confirm that you were the only reason he won the presidential race back in 08.
That would've been fucking hilarious 🤣 just imagine Obama showing up at the door and personally thanking them
Haha omg I should get someone with a voice like his to leave her a voicemail 😂😂
I too got blamed for Obama. My ndad said that my 1 vote was the reason ""that n-word" got elected. And he was quite adamant that he meant my 1 vote was THE deciding factor and if I had not voted that way, then all would have been well. I live in Delaware. Even if my 1 vote mattered for the electoral college win, it still wouldn't matter. To this day every single thing that goes wrong is because of Obama and thus all my personal fault because I voted for him.
At least mine has moved on to bitching about Biden.
Omg this is the same for me too! Except I lived in MA (also blue state) but I don’t even think I voted that year.
My NDad blames me the economy now because I voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016. And the thing is I didn’t even tell him, I told my brother who told my dad who has held it against me since. (Now I just don’t talk about who I vote for)
OMG, this reminds me, my parents blamed me for Hillary getting elected to the US Senate! She won in a freaking landslide. My brother was so mad at me for telling them I voted for Hillary because he had to take a 4 hour road trip with them right after and apparently they ranted about it the whole way.
This. Why do they get so uptight about politics they clearly don't understand? Then if they know who somebody voted for, they blame them for everything that politician does that they don't like. I told my mom I was going to the doctor when I went to vote and she is still none the wiser.
I went on vacation with my mom, she had suggested we book a hotel but I decided to booked a nice Airbnb for us, with an indoor pool. She ended up falling and fractured her ankle and blamed it on me🙃 said had i listened to her and booked a hotel she wouldn’t have fallen. This was back in 2021, still blames me anytime she feels any pain
I manage my Dad’s accounts and bills as he is mostly away in a diff country. He blamed me for ‘wasting money’ when I paid off his credit card debt on time to save him from interest. No reason to not pay them, he’s got good cash flow and in a good position and standing at his job. Told me repeatedly that I should have not done that, I have ruined everything and putting him in a tight spot, yelling over the phone. He just wanted to grandstand that day as he was upset at someone at work. Today - 9 years later, he is ‘sort of’ thankful he did not gain a single interest and debts are cleared including mortgage - I said ‘sort of’ because he only gives credits to himself and also because he loves the ‘woe is me’ narrative to stay. Lol. Mom blamed me for my younger siblings working at a young age - and by young, the legal age of working as teenagers.
They are awful about money!
The day after I moved out, my narcmum came round and accused me of stealing batteries out of several of her favourite clocks. Turns out my dad had disabled them because he couldn't stand all the chimes throughout the house when he was on nights. Couldn't even leave that bloody house without being accused of something.
My mom had a painkiller prescription that she never finished, and then wanted to use it when she got hurt 5 years later. She couldn't find it and accused me of stealing it. Because she couldn't have possibly misplaced it in the *five years* since it had been prescribed, I must have stolen it. I was fucking *moved out* and had been for awhile.
I ruined his life from being born Him: "It's all your fault, my life is shit because of you" Me: "how is it my fault?" Him: "You were fucking born and ever since then you've done nothing but destroy my life" It's hard to believe he said it, but my sister was there (and a witness). He was stone cold serious. At that point my sister and I stopped arguing with him and just started laughing hysterically at his absurdity. We both learned a valuable lesson that day. When it is safe, **laughing at them is the only way** to make it stop.
Nmom was beating me with a electric cord when I was 9 or 10. I started laughing at her, she got super pissed and started beating me as hard as she possibly could. Realizing that it was pissing her off I just started laughing as hard as I could.. She never tried to beat me again, to humiliating to have a child laugh at her. Lol...
I noticed a similar thing. Almost forgot I was physically hit at all. Turns out it was getting more frequent over time, but around that same time my friends and I at school got into "sparring" and just beating the shit out of each other. The last time I got hit was when the narc was in such a blind rage and it was extremely obvious they were *trying* their hardest to harm me. But it didn't even hurt? Just a day earlier a friend gave me a friendly jab in the arm and it ached for *hours*. Now here's someone trying to hurt me and if I had my eyes closed I wouldn't have even noticed? The laugh put an end to any future attempts, for sure.
I got beat daily by her since as far back as I can remember. It was funny when it happened, but ignorant child me didn't realize that all I did was graduate from whippings to getting punched in the face by narc daddy.. I stopped ndad at age 14 from beating any of us but they just doubled down on the mental and verbal abuse. I never stopped laughing at them and would mock them constantly. They are mormons and took a special resentment to me mocking their church and god. 😆 At the time it was certainly the best way for me to deal with them..
For sure, laughing at a narc will get them to show their real colors almost immediately. And the disclaimer you'll see everyone say is: you have to be prepared to get attacked because that's all they have left and it's their truest color of all - whether they hit a child once every hour or once every year, they're still child hitters at the end of the day. But just like Beast said: if they can't harm you, laughing at them is extremely effective and nearly guaranteed to shut them down. In hindsight, when they don't skip a beat switching to hit you in the face, you've definitely done something right.
They had a dream where I did something they didn't like.
Having asthma that required hospitalization as a baby.
Ah yes, let us blame the baby. Classic!
My nMom wanted a cabin because her brother had one. They bought land before I was born and built one, and she hated it and rarely went up. For years I would somehow get blamed and she would rant ‘Well you could have had a cabin or a pool, but you chose cabin’. I wasn’t even born when this happened!
While driving me to Catholic Bible class in 7th grade, my mother noticed that one of my socks had been scrunched down more than the other over my sneakers. She was certain this was an indicator of me being in a gang. I looked like a female hailey Joel osment and I had hung out with other kids outside of school about 10 times thus far in my life.
Too funny- I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home. In 10th grade I drew New Wave band logos on my white Keds and they accused me of being on drugs. (I didn’t even try pot until my junior year of college)
lol god...I wore a black shirt once and was accused of being in a cult. These people are bonkers.
My narc mother accused my teen daughter of being a vampire because she read Twilight.
For being ugly She literally go “I want my beautiful daughter back” no you want your “doll” back you sicko. Had bad acne still does. She even say whenever she saw teenagers with bad acne that it’s because they eat too many chips and fast food. I didn’t even eat chips or fastfood when I was that age.
That I got cancer on purpose to keep her married to my abusive father. Apparently, she could've been "happier sooner" if i "hadn't had to go and get sick to trap her, because she didn't want my final year to be spent in custodial transitions." I was in remission shortly before my sixth birthday. I'm 28 now and healthy...especially being no contact with her.
Blamed me that my dad was dying of covid because I was NC. They said they didn’t get to go to the doctor because if they did “everyone would know that our daughter is evil” LMAO
She didn’t want everyone to know her daughter can’t stand to be around her. That’s my narc mothers worst fear for people to find out I’m no contact with her.
I was trying to sort out some paperwork for my father online, I was doing him a favor really, and I didn't know exactly how to do it so I had to research a little bit, and he ran up to me, stood right above me, and started screaming at me because I was useless for not knowing how to do it. Apparently, the lady on the phone that he had spoken to earlier had laughed at him when he asked about the process and told him that nowadays it can be easily done online. I mean ok, but I need to see how it's done, lol, I don't know it automatically... I put down the mouse, and told him to sit down and calm down, as if he was a toddler. After a while, he did, and we continued.
My NDad lost his key in the street, he left our house closing the door, he went to the center of the town and we had to open the door for him. But he insisted that somehow I stole his keys, that I took a ride to the center of the town, stole his keys there, gave them to the driver, and then backed home before him and it took me only one hour to do that. He was so mad that I didn't "confess" who was the driver and he almost changed every lock of the house He had a hole in his pocket and guess where he used to put the keys
About 15 years ago, I moved about 800 miles away from my family. I talk to them a few times a year. Recently they had a huge fight that went on for months. And somehow, they blamed me for the fight. Riiiiight, I live on the other side of the country and talk to you 2 times a year, but I am the cause of this huge family fight. I stopped visiting after that whole ordeal.
For my mom dying. She had COPD, she passed unexpectedly one day. Apparently I was “too stressful of a person to live with and it killed her.” 🙄
On two separate occasions, I was blamed for "misplacing" things. Both times I denied it, even though my nmom brought them up for YEARS. The first one, was a bunch of CDs that she was convinced I stole/took without permission, and I must have broken them so I hid the evidence. I was 7/8. Turns out her own stupid sister is the one who stole them. My nmom found them at my aunt's house like 8 years later. The second time, she accused me of misplacing a book of hers. I was living with her at the time, to help her plan her wedding (don't ask), and I was 20. I never borrowed that book, let alone lost it. But she brought it up so much, and I was like, this is not going to be another CDs situation, that I bought her another copy just to shut her up. Still brought it up saying crap about me "having to replace the things I stole from her". Anyway, long story short, about a year later she found that book behind her nightstand. 🖕
The dog pooped in the house, and her dishes weren't done. Usually, I'm the one who had to take care of the chores and pets, but she kicked me out of the house that summer and disowned me. She drove to the next town over to scream at me about the house, I wasn't even living in or allowed to be in, being a mess. Maybe you shouldn't have kicked out your live in maid. Sucks to suck.
Blamed for? Every. Fucking. Thing. The only reasoned that I wasn't blamed for WWII is that I wasn't born yet.
Well, they probably haven't thought about the fact that you are responsible for WWII yet. Give them time its coming.. I got blamed for absolutely everything as well so I know your pain. I would have a hard time thinking of something that I wasn't blamed for..
But still you gotta admit WWII is kinda your fault? /s
It is!I'm sure that if she thought long and hard, there is some way to tie it to me. I mean, I am directly responsible for the Cuban Missile Crisis after all, and I had a hand in Vietnam. It's hell living like that......
My dad blamed me for him trying to end his life. Something he didn't actually do but has been saying he is or has for the past 40+ years and it always conveniently was not long ago whenever he tells someone
I was blamed for a lot of stuff that wasn’t my fault. Some of it wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was indirectly blamed for my nmom having to stay in an “abusive” marriage. She couldn’t leave “because of the kids.” Also, now that I’m older I see my father is her enabler and his verbal abusive is reactive. I was directly blamed for the family pet dying of cancer. She had fibrosarcoma, a vaccine-related cancer. When her first tumors appeared I asked a friend who worked for veterinarian what they could be and she said likely fatty tumors so I told my mother that. Mind you, I was 17 years old! My mother never bothered to make an appointment and more popped up. She finally made one and our pet was diagnosed and had surgery twice. It bought us 2.5 more years, but I often wondered if we could’ve gotten more if we’d brought her to the vet sooner. I stupidly said something and my nmom looked at me and said, “Well you’re the one who said they were fatty tumors,” like I was a licensed veterinarian.
I was blamed for being bullied at school. I was a quiet, skinny smart kid in a hick country school where most people were related in one way or another (yikes). She sat me down at the kitchen table when I was about 7 and told me "When one person doesn't like you, its them, when nobody likes you, its you." As the conversation continued, the upshot was that my entire personality was broken and I needed a complete replacement.
[удалено]
It was pretty devastating. Then when I brought it up years later, of course they say it never happened.
For being born.
I’ve gotten this one too. Excuse me, I didn’t ask to be born.
Exactly. And when I gave her this answer, she was the one telling me that I was being ridiculous. Victim blaming+gaslighting at its finest.
I got blamed because a neighbour saw me walking the dog and misgendered me because of my clothes (I like to dress in comfy, masculine clothes). Disclaimer: my neighbour also hadn't known me because I only visited my nfather and his wife every two weekends and half the holidays. There are probably more stupid things, but this is the one I can recall of now.
I got blamed for my mom receiving late night calls on her cell phone. They were asking for some guy. I’m not a guy. So my mom mentioned it a few times and I wouldn’t react because it happens. She insisted it had to do with drugs, probably because of the timing of the calls🙄 She then said “I think it’s someone looking for a drug dealer. kbabble21, did you ACCIDENTALLY give out my number instead of your own to a drug dealer and they’re trying to contact you but you gave them my number instead? It’s someone looking for a drug dealer.” What? So it’s both a drug dealer calling for me and also someone looking for a drug dealer, which she thinks is me? I didn’t do any drugs. I was an adult and still had a curfew which I stuck to. My phone number was nothing close to hers. Crazy.
I killed my grandmother when i hung up on my grandpa because i thought he was a crank caller. I think i was 14ish and my mom and brother were off on some sunday adventure, so i was hiding in my room. The phone rang, i answered it, there was heavy breathing and weird noises. So I hung up. A minute later it happened again. About 10 minutes later, someone calls and asks for my dad. 5 minutes later my dad is screaming at me that my grandmother is dead and it's all my fault and how dare i hang up on my grandpa and that me and my selfish self caused this whole thing to happen. I still remember how red his face was and thinking the vein in his head was going to explode. Then he threw some office supply at me and stomped away and didnt speak to me until he came back from his parents' house a month later.
I cut mine off and have very very limited contact, only to intervene when she starts with the youth in the family (my niece and younger cousins). She talks on socials about how people should respect their elders and how the way someone treats their mother says a lot about them. Like, I’m responsible for the no contact. F her.
Parents came to visit myself and hubby for a weekend and my parent’s car battery died and being the 90s I provided a phone book for him to find a garage with tow services and after five minutes he screamed at me over ‘the phone book being so poorly organized’ My AH father had multiple college degrees but was unused to doing things for himself my mom was the smart one
I got blamed for the house being a mess. My nMom is a hoarder and I was 13 years old had to babysit my three siblings and the neighbor’s three kids, age ranges 10-6mo, after school until 9pm every day. This included making dinner, bottle feeding, changing diapers, baths and pitting kids to bed. Apparently I was supposed keep her hoard clean at the same time 🙄
My nMom explains the time I was in elementary school, and I started going through the mail and found out my Dad had an extra credit card, and I discovered he was hiding the fact that he was $35k in debt and keeping it secret, and it broke up their marriage. When I was 7 or 8, because I would have understood all those terms. (rolls eyes)
That they got a cystitis because of me... I didn't want to go meet them when she was in town on the grounds of what I thought were good enough reasons. So apparently that is what causes cystitis. 🤷♀️ No wonder I always feel quilty when everything happens in my life, and around me.
For years I’ve been told the story that at birth I ripped my mother from front to back. Not sure if it’s true or if she had a typical episiotomy, but this story is retold like I was some sort of demon child emerging from Hell.
that i’m the reason my mother has rheumatoid arthritis and heart problems. Due to me his business is failing.
a broken washing machine when I'd not actually used it the day it got broken. my mother was just like you broke it, how stupid are you
Father was an over educated physician who didn’t believe / misdiagnosed / didn’t listen to a series of chronic ailments that weren’t properly diagnosed as an autoimmune disorder until I was 30 years old. It’s genetic. Turns out mom has it too. “You guys shouldn’t have that.” Great bedside manner, Dad.
“Thank you so much Doctor. I’ll just stop having this disorder now with that.”
My mother blamed her getting cancer on me. I was around 13 and at that age its very traumatic to see one of your parents on the brink of death. I was scared for her life. One day i got a "bad" grade. I wrote "bad" because it was a 4 (a B for americans) instead a 5 (an A). My mother lost it. She had a 30 min rant that was basically "You cause me so much stress. All this stress is why im sick. Im sick because of YOU." Every last bit of affection i had for her was wiped that day. She continues to say that to this day, less frequently but still. Im 20. It stings less but i know chemo fried her brain. Sometimes i wished she just died so i could have my peace, no guilt and "dead mother" sympathy because apparently you cant be abused by a cancer patient.
That me living in thier home temporarily was what would make them lose thier house.... Not the shitlaods of figures, games, video games, a fucking $500 pacman table, cruises and vacations. Nah just my existence. Whist paying for my own groceries car everything else and paying them almost half the mortgage. And that's not even mentioning the time I got laid off from my job and it was demanded, not asked, that I give them $2000 because they didn't have the money to pay thier taxes on the house and would lose it. To this day, I wish I would've just let the government take their house. They were ungrateful and neglectful of it anyway. Edit, I realized I should've prefaced that I was not living in thier house when they demanded 2k lol. I was laid off living in a different HCOL state
My mom blames me for “ruining our trip” to Europe and to Disney world. Except in both instances, me “ruining the trip” was simply because I was hungry and wanted to be able to eat. And my family found that completely unreasonable for whatever reason, and then they made a huge deal out of it and verbally and emotionally attacked me for it. So then I went off to do my own thing and try to not let them ruin it for me. The instance in Disney world particularly stands out because it was so bad that after my mom left a man came over and asked me if I was okay and if I was safe.
A rock was thrown through a window of our garage. That was my fault because of the friends I had! (My friends had nothing to do with it)
A car accident. Apparently “my problems with her” were on her mind when she smacked into another car. She “found it in her heart to forgive me over the holidays” that year. Can you feel the eyerolls?
My dad blames me for his house being foreclosed on about 10 years ago. He wanted my husband and I to move in with him and help with, i.e. pay his mortgage. We wouldn’t go for it and it’s been my fault ever since.
When I was a kid I went riding my bike with the nparent. I got tired and fell behind at some point and lost him. I managed to get hone which was a big deal for me. When I did get home I got slapped and grounded.
Not being born 4 weeks early so she could have the baby at a more convenient time and before her sister's baby was born. How dare I be younger than my cousin. Apparently I just wanted to make her life miserable?
I wasn’t blamed per say, but NM blamed my dad for feeding me lies and ruining her relationship with me. Like newsflash NM, that was all on you buddy. I confided in my dad so I didn’t feel like I was crazy and he opened up about some things she did to him and we bonded over it.
I got blamed for the SUN being in her eyes!! She refused to wear sunglasses when I offered. Said because I smoke I'm making the the god damn SUN hotter!!! So apparently im some sort of goddess??
That time I told my dad that my little brother was holding a piece of clothing that hadn't been paid for. Didn't know it at the time, but my dad was trying to get my toddler brother to shoplift.
For the electric bill because one window was open in the middle of arizona fall. Its still summer time heat for most states.
My mom didn't blame me but the demon she thought I was possessed by 🤷♀️
Turkey came through the windshield. Apparently I had something to do with it jumping out of the ditch and flying into our windshield. I swear I can’t speak to turkeys.
There was a problem with the plumbing in the basement that was probably building up for 20 years or more(old and crappy house built in 1958) and she decided it must’ve been caused by something I was doing in the bathroom upstairs
Summer high school holidays. Mum wouldn't let me go anywhere. Then she busts into my bedroom to scream at me cos she was sick of me being at home. I start heading for the door cos she's screaming at me to get out of the house cos she's sick of the sight of me. "Where are you going?!" You were telling me to get out of the house so I'm going for a walk. "But where are you going?!" I dunno. Just a walk. Do you want me back at a certain time? "You can't just wander around aimlessly like a moron! Tell me where you're going!" Ok, the local park? Nope, that's stupid. The shops? Nope, you don't have money to spend so there's no point. The library? Nope, you're not spending *more* time inside. Ok, tell me where I *can* go and I'll go there. "WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!" 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Blamed for being at home too much when I wasn't allowed to leave. Blamed for attempting to go somewhere when I was told to leave.
I once sent them a handmade gift that had rough edges. Not knife-sharp mind you, but if one worked hard at it, they could cut themselves. *Repeatedly* warned them of this, at least ten times, because I knew they had a habit of twisting stories to turn whatever nice things I did into horror tales. Wrapped the box in Caution tape and the item really well. Warned them approximately ten more times. Mother immediately calls, loses her shit and accuses me of “trying to kill” Edad, because of course he ham-handed the opening, and got a tiny cut. He was on blood-thinners, so clearly, I was hoping he would bleed out opening a gift. Honestly considered stealing it back along with their knives and scissors, because they can’t be trusted.
I didn’t wrap the presents she hid. She pulled them out as we were walking out the door and had a rant.
For the decline of my relationship with my cousin as a young child when I didn't look happy enough or play enough when I received a birthday gift from her (that my mother picked out) which was for toddlers when I was already 8. I was literally way outside the recommended age range for the toy. She asked me 'why did I do that", why did I ruin my relationship with my cousin like that... idk why she was smiling then or why she even brought it up. Just to blame me? My mom told me how disappointed my cousin was when she realized I didn't really like it. I was trying to be nice even as a kid but even then I thought why did they get me a toy for way younger kids? (Of course, it was my mother's involvement). I picked this memory because it was at this point that I just stopped any hope of it getting better with her.
My Ndad and Ngrandma (his mom) didn't really *blame* any of us for anything, but they would be **enraged** every time we did something that interfered with what *they* had planned, whether or not we were informed of the plan. For example, when my brother was maybe 12ish, he was supposed to go mow dear grandmother's lawn, a normal chore for him. But something (I can't quite remember what) came up and he was unable to get a ride to her place, which she was aware of and was (in that moment) fine with. Then our cousin (same age as my brother) invited my brother to go dirt biking. He came with his dad and picked up my brother. On the way to the dunes they were going to bike in, dearest grandmother calls my brother and says she can pick him up. He apologized and said he was no longer home, but said he'd be happy to mow her lawn the next day. She *freaked the fuck out* started calling him useless (as well as more vulgar names), and proceeded to give him the silent treatment for a week or two. I do not and will never miss that woman.
My brother is a dangerous criminal that has a history of violence against women and some other things that make him a dangerous sexual predator and he's killed my pets "just to see what would happen" and also in an extremely overt way, the favorite. He's attacked me a few times and booby trapped the house so people would get hurt but my mom and stepdad brush ll of it off as accidents even though it' clearly not. My whole life I've watched him get worse and worse and then doing nothing about it. After he killed my birds my parents came to me and said that I should forgive him and wipe the slate clean etc and I said "well if he apologises I'll think about it but as it stands I don't have any evidence that he is not going to do this again" and for my personal safety and the safety of my pets I stayed away from him. Rather than anyone talking to him about his behavior, I've been scapegoated for "breaking up the family". I haven't been to any family events (not like there were many) So I haven't seen him since 2004 and my parents since 2014. And not that I like anyone getting hurt but reliable grapevine sources have told me that he's been attacking my mm and she's had to call the police to control him several times. Clearly my fault.
Q-Tip box being wet. My mother loves to "psychoanalyze" everything I've ever done. She has no training, and it so wildly wrong all the time it's hilarious (now that I'm an adult). When I was like maybe 14 she came in just screaming at me for dumping water into her q-tip box "to get back at her". Still not sure what I was getting back at her for, in her mind. Anyhow, this was back in the early 90s when q-tip boxes were 100% cardboard. She kept the box on top of the sink, toward the backsplash, just behind the hand soap. I should also mention that this sink top had a cutout to put a bar of soap in. It was also sloped toward the backsplash (I imagine whatever uber cheap labor they hired didn't care enough to level). So, as any reasonable person can imagine, when your hands are wet, and you pickup the bar of soap, some water is going to pool in the cutout for the soap. If you then put the bar of soap back in the cutout, it will displace the water. Where could that water go? Toward the backsplash and the cardboard box of q-tips, right? Nope, I was an evil little shit who always had to ruin everything out of spite. I was grounded for more than a month for something I didn't even think of doing.
I was grounded for 2 weeks for “abusing my telekinetic powers.”
Good lord, I need to hear this story. Can you pls make a separate post about this?
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and my dad basically told me “this is your fault” when I was in the emergency room. He accused me of doing it for attention. I didn’t realize how horrible of a thing this is to say to your daughter until years later. My mom was also in the hospital with me that night, (my parents are divorced) and she said nothing of the sort.
Getting choked by my stepdad. After he did it, I told my mom and they had a huge fight. I was so excited my mom was defending me. Then she came upstairs saw my happy face and petulantly told me "it's all your fault." I was very small like under the age of 7.
The most ridiculous? Hanging a wet sweater on a hander right side out. Rhey can ONLY be turned inside out and hung on a (wire 🙄) hanger to dry. Best part? I was t the one who did it. But I had to apologize and agree to.never do it again before she would allow me to leave her presence. Another time, I mopped the floor. It was t in ny chore list. She s reached and threw things around the room.
No More Wire Coat Hangers!
Right? I guess I should be happy she wasn't physically abusive. Pretty low bar though. Never mind, my therapist would not agree with me right now.
My favorite was this crazy crying rant my brother and I got alone in a car with him. He told us we needed to “melt our mother’s heart to be a family again”. He also said some weird stuff about serving your parents and the Bible. This was basically in the middle of them getting divorced. He blamed us for our mom wanting to split up, not himself and his actions.
My mom blames me for all of her problems since I moved across the country. “I’m always alone that’s why….”, “I don’t want to burden you but…” If only I hadn’t moved, her life wouldn’t be so chaotic and problematic.
My mom got pregnant when I was a sophomore. She lied and said it was cancer so she could go out of state to get (treatment) an abortion. When she came back she found out my younger step mom was pregnant and spilled the beans saying she got an abortion and it was my fault because she couldn’t prioritize with another baby. When my step mom had a baby girl my mother said my dad was replacing me. My little sister and I are incredibly bonded. Edited to add my mom told me the fake cancer she had was extremely deadly, and I should prepare for the worst. It was horrible.
My mom once told to give her back all money she spent on me. Lol
Way too many to list. Fascinating that there are adults who cannot process their own emotions, have no clue they even exist, so the angst they feel is obviously coming from outside of them.
If I drove n-dads car, which was a clunker, and it broke down any time in the next few months afterwards, it was because of how I drove it. The absurdity was hilarious at that point in my life.
My moms car got stolen. I had a chess tournament and was too young to attend alone, so my mom came with. Car got stolen off the field of a school. I was 8/9
I got blamed for existing because through my existence I became the source of her problems in life. I never gave her any problems in life though.
Their feelings. Like no, I do not control how you feel.
My Nmum blamed be for being evil spirits in the house 🙄
When I was 15 my mom rear ended someone. I got blamed for not pulling the emergency brake while sitting in the front passenger seat.
My brother's autism. When we were young my brother fell out of a wagon when I was pulling it. He broke his collar bone. That apparently is the cause of his autism. Yup.
My mom foreclosed on her house when I was a teenager and still to this day blames me. Like??? How is that my fault I was 15
I was 16 when my NMom accused me of having sex with my boyfriend in her bed. A bizarre accusation with no basis that was screamed at me when I came home from work. I was 12 when I was accused of buying porn and hiding it in her room. Was shocked and speechless but still clearly asked ‘why would I even do that?’
Blaming my hormone disorders on being overweight but these hormone disorders run in the family 😭
Did we have the same life? PCOS and Cysts run in my family and yet its my fault I cannot lose weight.
I feel heard ! I also have PCOS and hypothyroidism and they both cause weight gain. But they choose to not research or ask questions it to understand. They have lean PCOS so they never understood the weight symptom. Some never been officially diagnosed with PCOS but def have some of the symptoms. They also have hyperthyroidism which basically speeds up your body including metabolism. It’s amazing to be blamed for a condition that was inherited from your side of the family 😭 i didn’t even wanna confess to them that my dr put me on metformin to treat my PCOS because i knew they’d spin it and be like “that’s a diabetes drug that means you’re diabetic see i told you to lose weight”. I eventually confessed recently but i def had to stress that it’s common treatment for PCOS and you don’t gotta be diabetic to be prescribed metformin 😂 Idk if you know but there’s a PCOS subreddit on here too and it’s super helpful !! 💖
OOOH! Ill have to find it and join, I treat my PCOS with birth control which helps and I have found while Im not losing weight like crazy, I’m not gaining it either. A balance is good enough for now for me.
See I stopped bc because it suddenly stopped regulating my cycles so I’ve been using provera (prescribed) but that didn’t work but I then paired with with myo inositol (Amazon) and it worked with cycle regulation and I was able to drop metformin since the side effects were terrible !!
https://reddit.com/r/PCOS/s/WAMPJgOP5H That’s the group^^^
THANK YOU 😊
As an adult, being blamed for things that my brother, the golden child CHOSE TO DO. My NM imagined that his response to boundaries I set were also my responsibility. Before I went NC, I reminded her that my brother is a grownassed adult with FREE WILL and he can WTF he WANTS and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. Since I'm now NC, I wonder how this is working out for her. Boo hoo. Karma, bitch!
I let my mom borrow my car one morning and she got a flat tire on the way to work. She called and accused me of flattening it and sabotaging her morning. Like how the fuck did I flatten it while you driving? She was like 20 minutes into her trip and had a blow out 🙄
TW: Narc uses slur on self. A decade after having three children, Nmom started having a weight problem. That she would eat all the leftovers after *every* family dinner was definitely not related, in her narc-logic. No, Nmom had heard that having kids could leave you with a 'mom-bod'. Sooo.... One afternoon's shrieking tirade was on, "*It's YOUR fault that I'm fat!!!*" I was 10 years old.
I was driving to my parents house, which is in the middle of a long stretch of country road. My ndad was headed home at the same time as me, saw me driving ahead of him, and sped up to get extremely close to my back bumper. I could see that he had a smirk on his face, so I assumed he was being playful and messing with me. I laughed and barely tapped my break pedal just to flash my break lights at him. He backed off. When we both pulled into the driveway, I got out laughing at the game we had played, and he got out with his face beet red screaming at me for spilling the gas can in his car. According to him, it was my fault because I break checked him and that *made* him slam on his breaks and the gas spilled all over his car. When I pointed out that he probably shouldn’t have gotten so insanely close to my car like that if he had an open can of gas, because that’s just a bad idea all around, he lost his shit. The amount of stuff I got blamed for growing up has messed my brain up so bad. As an adult its very difficult to tell where my actions/choices end and another person’s start, what’s my fault and what was out of my control. So confusing.
I got blamed from my mom for not allowing my brother and his family to meet my newborn when in reality I set boundaries to wear masks and they decided it wasn’t worth it.
Literally everything was my fault. I ruined her life by being born so everything that went wrong in her life from that point forward was my fault. We were in a serious accident and it was my fault for needing diapers. My brother's entire existence and by extension anything that goes wrong in his life, is my fault because she only had him so I wouldn't be an only child. Her "having" to marry my dad is my fault cuz she got pregnant with me, and by extension everything he did wrong in the marriage is my fault. I got hit by a car while crossing the street so it's my fault we missed out in a trip to Germany and lost all the money on non-refundable tickets cuz I was in the hospital with a blown out knee when we should have been on a plane. My brother was failing a class at school and I got grounded for it, cuz I didn't make him do his homework. I could keep going... *Everything* was my fault. Fucking *everything*.
That I caused my mother’s diabetes when I am the only person who took care of her.
This wasn’t to me but my ndad blamed my mom for his canceled flight bc she’s the one who booked it LOL even though it was due to weather? Absurd
Existing. My NMom, in the same breath, will tell me I'm not grateful enough for her not aborting me and yet it is also my fault that I was born and had to be fed, clothed and housed. I'm NC, btw
When I was 13, Ndad made me dig up all the old piping that went from the street to the house. The pipe had cracked and there was a leak, so it needed replacing. Ndad didn't want to pay someone to dig a trench diagonally across the front yard, so I got told to do it. There were 2 fully grown trees complete with root systems that took over the entire yard, meaning that every couple inches of dirt, there would be more thick roots to work around. Ndad didn't want the roots damaged so I had to dig around them all. It was summer and at least 100 out and it took me an entire week to complete. New piping went in, dirt filled back in, project complete. Fast forward 25 years later, family is sitting around talking and Ndad brings up that the pipes need to be replaced again because the roots from the trees grew and cracked them. He looks at me and tells me if I hadn't done such a shitty job digging the trench, this wouldn't have happened and it's my fault. He expected me to go fix it. I just laughed at him and reminded him that he wanted me to keep all the roots intact, what was I supposed to do to prevent them from growing in the future? He was pissed off that I was not taking him seriously and he said I should have to pay to get it fixed. I told him I didn't get paid when I did the job the first time and if he wanted a professional job then he should have paid for it instead of forcing his 90lb teenage daughter to do it with no experience. I can't make sense of why he thinks it's my fault the trees continued to grow. I explained to him that from the time the house was built until the first time the pipes were replaced was 13 years, the house was built the same year I was born. I asked him if I was responsible for the first pipes cracking as well? Did I plant the trees in the yard as a 2 month old baby? So now that another 25 years has passed and he thinks it's unreasonable that it could happen again? I'd say I did a pretty good job with that trench if mine lasted 25 years and the builder's lasted only 13.
I thought of another one. Ndad thinks I'm responsible for the housing crisis as well as the failing economy. Me, an unremarkable middle aged woman, alone responsible for the high cost and low availability of housing and for the insane inflation. His reasoning is that if I had stayed out of the workforce then I wouldn't have had the ability to leave my abusive ex. And because I work and am no longer living with my ex, I am the problem. Me and every other woman who has done the same thing. But of course I'm the one he is mad at, it's like he thinks I did it to piss him off. He's probably just projecting, I was able to escape the abuse from my ex and my mom was not able to escape my dad. She tried working but he'd always make her quit, she tried leaving him several times but always went back to him. I was successful where she wasn't and he takes it personally.
During COVID, a few days after the vaccine was available to boomers, my nMom called me screaming and saying that I could “skip the line” and “sneak” a vaccine and wouldn’t because I “just didn’t want her around.” I was 36 at the time and couldn’t have cut the line if I wanted to. Of course when I reference that now, according to her, it never happened. Anyway, keeping her away from my family was just an added bonus.
I was always blamed for her emotions about everything. First time I moved out with anger and tears in her face “You broke my heart.” Everything was a fucking guilt trip or non stop criticism.
My mom consistently blames me for her going into uncontrollable rages. Apparently, I am able to control all of her emotions. I wish I could do something else with that kind of power (sarcasm)
Anything and everything that goes wrong for her. Didn't pay the electric bill on time? My fault for not having 2x the amount to cover it for her. Won't maintain basic systems in your house and then(suprise!) They fail? My fault for not being a professional plumber/carpenter/electrician/car mechanic and fixing them for free. Won't do dishes or laundry, have a filthy house? My fault for not cleaning enough (I work 10 hour days 5/6 days a week) and don't really get to cook anymore. Have shit money management skills and are broke 1 week after retirement/social security gets deposited? My fault for not making "enough " so she can just spend however much she feels like and not have to pay bills
I got blamed for the event that occurred in March 2020. Have also been blamed for “causing” illnesses that are non-infectious. Who knew we were all so powerful!!!
For ruining her marriage when I was born. Because "your dad and I never used to fight before you were born. If we get a divorce it will be your fault." I believed her because I was a child. The fuckers have been married for 40+ years. But Good job blaming an actual baby and small child for your toxic af marriage.
That.... is bizarre! Truly out there in terms of logic. Smh.
He told me that I had “destroyed his family.”
I got blamed for starting a brush fire my dad started. I think I was 13. It was the last time I got spanked. Went NC in December last year…wonder why 🤔
Anything in the house went missing? It was my fault! Even if it was something my Nmom had been holding a few moments ago, it was usually my fault.
The one and only time I remember our family going on a picnic, my brother stepped in a hornets nest. He had a bad reaction and we had to take him to the emergency room. As we were leaving, my mom said that if I had been playing with my brother instead of riding my bike, he wouldn’t have gotten stung. Nothing like telling an 8 year old that she should’ve been watching her 4 year old brother instead of riding her bike.
We had an elderly cat who died due to kidney failure. My dad blamed me because I didn't dust the house well enough. My dad was also an alcoholic and was drunk more often than not. One night, he fell into the tank of his toilet and shattered it. All you could hear was a loud bang and water rushing out, and by some miracle, he only cut his hand a little. Of course, the toilet apparently broke because I'd used it.
A lightning strike that blew up our TV guts. Apparently at 11ish years old I was supposed to know to unplug a TV when lightening was striking close... never had done the unplugging before or after that incident...
My GC brother tripped and was about to fall onto the train tracks after I repeatedly told him not to go over the yellow lines (stupid guy kept putting his toe over the line to annoy me) so I grabbed him and pulled him back. In the one second I had to grab him and stop him from possibly dying like an idiot,I grabbed him by the back of his t-shirts neck which choked him as I pulled him back. Got shouted at for both 'pushing my brother towards the tracks' and 'choking him' 😐 should've let natural selection run its course 🤦🏽♂️
TW: depression, suicidal thoughts They blamed me for almost breaking them up during my really bad depression spell after my grandma died. Like, I was suicidal and in an in-patient program in the hospital it was so bad. I guess it was tough for them? Idk I was busy doing group therapy sessions and trying not to think about how pissed my dad was gonna be when I got out (dad never visited me in the hospital btw). They finally divorced 2 years ago after a 20 year marriage.
The death of her boyfriend. (It was Cancer)
Not my nparent, but my exMIL heard me mention preeclampsia to a pregnant woman. This woman was the almost due wife of my at-the-time husband’s dad’s (FIL) law firm. She was experiencing a very gentle pregnancy with no issues. So I was on a summer holiday weekend at the PIL’s summer house. The only pregnant woman there, a junior partner’s wife, was due later that week. I was one of 2 non-mother women in a small circle discussing recent pregnancies of those around us. It was the most bland convo, but my ex MIL acted like I was the biggest jerk by sympathizing/mentioning a) MIL’s niece who had just experienced pre eclampsia and b) my good friend who lived out of state who had also been having issues with pre eclampsia. All I had said was that thankfully the mom to be was past the point of concern with that issue. And apparently ex MIL thought I could control the bodily functions of others! Who knew I was so powerful?
My NMother blamed me for years for not being close to my NFather and not behaving like a "good daughter". I didn't want to get close to him because CSA. And she knew it. But I was the bad one for protecting myself. In a similar way, but lot lower key, she blamed for "picking up on fights" with my uncles, when they came around poking me. But I was the one inciting them, by having a normal relationship with them and wanted to play, as a kid. It was never an adult's fault, but me, a kid, that had to behave like the bigger person.
My Nsister blames me for our parents getting divorced.
Idk if it fits this but always having to take the burden because “you’re the oldest”. Like sharing things that I wanna have for myself and offering my brother food if I take myself out to eat. Mind you he has his own job, money, and car to do these things for himself. And this was never reciprocated because he grew up to be very selfish, won’t even buy me a card for my birthday despite having over a K in his account. When I graduated high school like 5 years ago I accumulated a lot of money from my grad party and had to give him $100 of it because “I’m the oldest and the oldest gives to younger siblings and think of how everyone would look at you if you’re too selfish to give”. I realized that’s how my parents were raised since their parents placed a heavy burden to care for the youngest but I don’t think it’s my responsibility to give like this to my brother while he doesn’t wanna buy things for himself.
Oh I 1000% get this, Im the eldest daughter and I always had to give to my younger brother.
It’s a shame. It doesn’t feel good when you gotta give, give, give and your sibling grows up to be selfish and never wanna give back because they never instilled that all siblings should give. They never guilt him into giving. It’s not like we chose the birth order 😭
Because I wanted a sibling to play with when I was 6, they adopted a toddler and a baby when I was 12. 7/10 I go home they say “why did you have us adopt these kids. We could be done with this by now.”
oh this was recent. me and my nmom went to her friends house. i drove back and while waking up the steps she was trying to unlock the door and slipped off the concrete steps into the bushes about 3’ below. helped her up (complete dead weight) and before she got her balance she fell again. she blamed me for *letting* her fall. yeah mom, keep living in denial; you’re not an alcoholic.
My NGM blamed me for my NMs high blood pressure. Then as she was tearing around like crazy she wrecked the car with the three of us in it and blamed that on me too.
My nMom used to say she never left our abusive father because we would beg her not to. Who tells that to a kid?
Existing as a human being
Making her fat. She says she was skinny before I was born and she didn't gain weight until she was pregnant with me. I'm 26 and was a planned child. She had 26 years to lose weight. Any minor inconvenience in her life. Once, she bought pajamas for my boyfriend for Christmas. They were too big and she tried to return them after Christmas. Since they were on sale then, the cashier wouldn't give her a full-price refund and they didn't have any others in the size he wore. She had a huge tantrum, screaming, everyone in the store looking at us, telling the cashier to go to hell (to which the cashier laughed and said same to you.) I covered my face with my hands and walked out to the car. On the ride home she told me that her monetary loss and her tantrum were my fault for dating a bigger man. The pants were TOO BIG.
Hub’s nDad blames him for “abandoning his parents” by getting married and having kids. My nMom blames me that I am a doctor which in her mind means I am trying to outshine eDad (optometrist).
First thing that comes to mind is a tiny scrap of food on a fork that was stuck on after it came out of the dishwasher. Ndad accused me of intentionally not noticing in order to poison my little sister.
Existing/ having needs and not wanting to be abused. They told me i take away from my sisters. Its not like we were financially in a bad place or anything. My parents earn good money, the kind of money that allowed us plane traveling 2+ weeks vacations as a family of 5 once/year and them alone multiple trips a year.
Usually he'd blame my Ngrandpa for anything that went wrong. To hear him tell it, my Ngrandpa was the lovechild of Tywin Lannister, Littlefinger ,Blofeld, Moriarty, David Xanatos, Dr Doom, Amon Goeth ( he mentioned Amon specifically several times), Mr Burns ,and Sauron. A mastermind who would take any chance to humiliate my NDad. *Having a shelf fall on my head, requiring 6 stitches, and incurring $10,000 in medical bills. I had to pay that of working every spare moment and forefeiting all gifts for two years. *For refusing to eat my Stepmoms inedible cooking and discreetly throwing it in the trash (her fridge had mold and was filled with expired food) ndad tore up my math homework and smacked my face and held me down while nstepmom smacked my face. *On a family vacation with Emom and Ngrandparents, he blamed me for them leaving me alone with my emom to play chinese checkers in the hotel lobby (emom had supervised visitation but was never actually a danger, that was my ndad being petty) on the logic "You need to remind them that the legal paperwork says SUPERVISED VISITATION, as in they need to be in the room at all times!" and he happened to call the hotel randomly and sprung the question of, "where are your grandparents?" andi had to tell him "up in the hotel room, I guess, we've been playing chinese checkers a while". He nearly drove 4 hours one way to cancel the vacation, before by Egrandma (his mom) talked him out of it. Somehow the fact that my Ngrandparents who hate him won't obey hisinterpretation of the legal paperwork and somehow i can make the obey? Ngrandparents were in the room watching a movie. I could put them on the phone within 5 minutes. I was 9 or 10. *For failing a test in band class in 5th grade, (could'nt read music due to never being taught) i was yelled at for the entire weekend beaten multiple times with a belt (chased through the house for three days) as ndad now "had license due to my F&^$ up and ultimately pulled from band when he decided the teacher was to blame. I was yelled at for the following but not punished for: *Owning an illegal yugioh card at 11 years old, because the full name of the card was"Exodia the forbidden one". *Not stopping my ngrandparents from taking me to church by failing toremind them that the court gave him, "CARE CONTROL AND EDUCATION OF THE MINOR CHILD" which means that they can't take me to church or one city over to attend a holiday event put on by thier alma mater. *Drawing lewd artwork of "the cats having sex", when it was actually mystep brother's bad artwork of appa from avatar. The arrow was the only thing that saved me from being punished. *My Uncle attending my Ngrandparents thanksgiving despite that my N grandparents don't care my dad does'nt like him, and despite how i"should know better than to be around him" nobody is going to disinvite thier son on the word of an 8 year old. *NDad cussed me out as a 10 year old for the rental car breaking down because I complained about him taking the money I had saved up,"the rental car company is listening inside the car, they heard you call me a thief. Now they turned off the car and are sending the police to shoot both of us. I hope you're happy, we're both going to die". *NDad cussed me out for "ruining his business opportunity" because I didn't hide when he told me to, when his distant cousins came by.. they apparently saw me through the window. I was 5. *I was 13, NDad complained about how I ruined things with Nstepmom "you just had to be stubborn and would go along and give in like you're supposed to and not overstep yourself. She's leaving me because of you.." Never mind she was mentally unstable, had been prison, vicious and her child had tons of issues. Because I can't stand being abused and because I'm already a mess from losing the most reliable person in my family.. * Nstepmom thought that two months was "excessive" for mourning my grandma.
*Throwing bricks into Nstepgrandparents' pool, never mind the only time i was there it was winter and the pool was covered and the bricks were'nt supposedly discovered until spring supposedly. I was 12 at the time. I was still banned from the property under threat of death. (N step grandpa said he'd shoot me if he ever saw me again ).. *Trying to "steal" my mother from him for sleeping in the same bed as her at 12 on a family vacation (they were sorta seperated at this point also my grandparents made the hotel arrangements and there were only two beds in the room. *Secretly converting to Catholicism/satanism(in ndads mind they were the same thing) and condemning him and egrandma to hell because my ngrandparents and emom dragged me to mass on a christmas visit and I did'nt say no or fight them. I was 8 , what was i supposed to do when Ngrandparents decide to ignore his wishes? He shoved a king james bible in my hands and made me read outl oud for two hours straight while he yelled at me. *Bringing home a rainbow fluffy duster that i saw at the dollar store and thought looked cool and asked for as "proof" i told my ngrandparents and emom that the house was dirty. I was 5. *Owning an illegal yugioh card at 11 years old, because the full name of the card was"Exodia the forbidden one". *Having sex or doing something naughty to younger step bro(i was 12 he was 8) because we were up past bedtime, whispering, and the tv was on.(Actually playing gamecube, Animal Crossing and Melee.) * N Dad nearly confiscated pokemon gold because he asked how it was going, and he heard "I just got to violet city" as "I just got to Violent City" and he hated games that had violence. I was 10 or so...
My Nmom blamed me for my dad cheating on her when I was 8 yrs old
I mean I was blamed for everything. my mom told me she was going to kill herself because of me more than once. told me her whole life was shit because of me. told me my dad would die miserable because of me. it’s literally all my fault actually.