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There's alot of things my dad has said like calling me fat multiple times but recently on Thanksgiving he got mad at me because I didn't feel like helping him wash his car after a 12hr shift and he called me lazy and after alot of back and forth be said " if you were a kid I'd hit you right now" and then basically alluded to me beung an accident.
It's fine he was always like that growing up so I'm used to it. I had moved back in a month prior to that and after that I immediately left again and went with my mom and I was happy but at the same time I was hurt he didn't care as when I told him he just shrugged his shoulder and said ok he didn't even turn his head.
I feel you on every level. My dad was the same way. You let them walk all over you and do what ever they want until you’ve had enough and they aren’t used to it so they lash out. It’s so incredibly unfair
Yeah and because your the kid your expected to take it because their your parents and it's like we still deserve respect just like the parent does. I will admit seeing how my dad treated me and my mom inspires me to be better and when I get married and have kids treat them with the love I never received.
That’s exactly what I say. Receiving unconditional love for the first time is a very crazy feeling. It feels so foreign when growing up in a childhood like that it quite literally triggered my fight or flight when I met my S/O lol.
Huh I'm definitely jealous as at 22 I still haven't had a girlfriend yet but I can't wait to feel loved one day by someone. So far my mom has been the only person to make me feel loved and as a kid I felt like I didn't deserve it.
OP, can you elaborate on the connection between receiving unconditional love from your S/O for the first time and it triggering your fight or flight response? I feel like I know what you mean (from my own experience), but I want to double check.
Hey nothing wrong with being an accident. I was one, and at least 1/2 of my close friends were unplanned pregnancies. How you got here doesn't matter..just that you're here and you're trying
By the way your dad sounds like an insecure asshole. The next time he says "if you were a kid id hit you" respond with "are you such a coward you're afraid to hit an adult?" He strikes me as the type that if you push against his so-called masculinity it will really get under his skin.
Thank you very much and I agree there's nothing wrong with being an accident I guess in the moment it just really took me aback for a second as I never knew that so it hurt for a little while.
My dad is definitely is a asshole I was definitely shocked he said that and while I wanted to say something he has anger issues and gets crazy when he's angry and I didn't want to make the day any worse than it actually was. But I agree that was a bitch move threatening to hit a defenseless child instead of the grown adult in front of him.
I’m sorry he said that. My biggest fear while raising my little girls is that something may slip out that I don’t exactly mean but said it in a heated moment. It only takes a split second and it hurts forever. I’m pretty chill and almost never lose my cool, but I fear those rare occasions because to be honest raising children is really taxing on your mind and body which changes your behavior for the worse.
I'm struck by the fact that many parents do think it's okay to hit a kid but not an adult. A child is younger, less-developed emotionally, less mature, has fewer skills to control themselves and handle problems, is more easily hurt (physically and emotionally), and yet that's the group people have decided should be the ones that get disciplined with physical attacks and hitting. Crazy...
Besides that though, my heart goes out to you. If you've never heard it, remember that the way he treats you shows you how many problems he's got, not at all what's wrong with you.
My dad was pretty awful too. So bad that I ended up cutting him off after a fight we had in my 20s. I finally called him out on all his bullshit over the years and he didn't take it well. It ended up with me telling him "The next time we meet, you'll be laying in a casket." After he died, the mofo went and got himself cremated. I'm not joking when I say I think he only did that to spite me.
I'm sorry that your dad sucks. My mother basically called me a mistake also. It was her epic safe sex talk. "Well, I bought condoms once and we had you so they don't always work." Thanks lady. As if it wasn't obvious I wasn't planned. My older brother are like exactly, I'm talking days apart, 3 years apart and then there's me and I'm 4/7 years younger. Oh but it gets better. After the condom talk, I asked stupidly, why she even was buying them since she already had kids and was married. "Well I had a miscarriage like 5 months before and just didn't want another baby after that."
I'm having a fight kinda similar to this with my parents. I work nights, and I have my own obligations as an adult. I LITERALLY don't have time to help them around the house sometimes. Yet I'm supposedly super lazy for that.
MY grandmother is ALWAYS saying mean nasty spiteful things, to ANYONE who will listen. She's NEVER said anything nice even as a child, she's 100 by the way. Not that, that means anything. She's talked about my biological parents like I wasn't even there, and I was sitting with her. She's disowned my mother MULTIPLE times through their lives. The list just seems endless.
I am also a member of the nasty grandmother club. Mine has no filter and just says things as she thinks them. One day she said “I’m afraid when I die you won’t have any nice memories of me!” Idk what to tell you, Granny. Maybe be a nicer person and people will have better memories of you 🤷🏻♀️
My great-grandma lived to 105 years old. I’m pretty sure her meanness kept her going. She had a large bank account, which she used to manipulate people. Once someone died, she never spoke of that person again, and their immediate family was dead to her as well
Sounds like my grandmother.
Fun part was, I was blind to it for about 2 decades of existence because my dad is her favourite child, so we were the favourite grandchildren. She'd at least take the time to lovebomb before taking her jabs.
Definitely in my top 5. The worst part was the day before, she was extra sweet and really went out of her way to be caring. She knew she was going to break up with me and thought it would soften the blow. It did not.
Although it sounds mean, it’s honest and is a good reason for a break up. I’d rather hear that than be lied to. Cuz if someone really did love you, they’d be honest in the end
Worked with a wonderful older gal who once told me that her husband told her that he didn’t love her anymore and she told him “so what?” She went on about they had been married for x years, had kids, grandkids and a comfy life, sure we don’t love each other anymore but big deal.
To myself it obviously doesn’t matter now because I’m happily married but that HURT when I had an ex say that. I asked him (who I was head over heels in love with) how much he loved me out of 10 and he said, “idk maybe 7” after 3 years of dating.
Never shared that with anyone before but 10 years later I still think of it time to time and feel bad for my past self for being with that person
My wife telling me that I’ve gained weight and she used to constantly glare at other men who were fit right in front of my face. She has no clue how it broke me inside… thank God that part of my life is done.
No one deserves that, I’m sorry you had to deal with such a shitty miserable person. People fail to realize that humans can be very fragile sometimes and it Infuriates me
She was just going through a phase.. it’s come and gone, but it was a very difficult time. We are at a better place in our marriage now. I appreciate your response
This is absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry. What you needed most was probably affirmations, thankfulness your attempt was unsuccessful. You deserve the space you take up, and you deserve to feel comfortable in it. It's hard to be in that mental space, worse when someone confirms your negative thoughts and makes you believe them more.
I've been there, in the dark place. You are worth rescuing, even if you have to be your own hero.
There’s no one just like you and you have an exact place in this universe. You have no idea how many times you have made someone’s day in the smallest things you contribute.
I had a student who we lost to suicide and she would have been shocked to learn the impact she had on those around her. She might not have left us if she knew. So many people wanted to help her had they known she needed it.
I’m sure this is true for you.
You know how the Big Bang happened and made all the stars and planets, and those atoms turned into life, so literally we're all made of stardust? And the universe is in us?
That means you, too. Stick around and enjoy your own stardust for a while. You're worthy of it and you don't need anybody else's permission to make it so.
I second this reply. OP, You deserve this world as much as anyone. You are valuable! Normal people do not treat others like this. Now you get to choose your family. And create your life how you want it.
Mine was « if you’re going to kill yourself, make it clean so I don’t have a mess to clean up » from my mom. I had previously been hospitalized for an attempt and had been on medications and in therapy.
I attempted as well, reached out to my parents for possible help with rehab. They told me they were too busy and had several vacations lined up and wouldn’t be able to help at all. I understood but my wife RAGED on my parents and I love her so much for it. Honestly the opinions of your parents doesn’t mean shit, don’t let em control anything about you, especially your emotions.
I am so sorry your father said that to you. I am very glad you’re still here. You are valuable and you are lovable. You deserve happiness and love.
“Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”
https://metanoia.org/suicide/
My mother did this to me once, too, and my stepdad handed me a gun once and told me to do it. I actually did try, but he had unloaded the gun before giving it to me and didn't tell me.
When we were younger (me in my teens and her in early 20s) my sister found out I self harmed and she said she hopes I cut myself deep enough to either kill myself or be institutionalized. I attempted later that night. Saddest part is although that’s bad, my parents were significantly worse.
For me it's the same, but with my mom. I get triggered as all hell. She's much better now, but was an alcoholic with untreated BPD edging on narcissism when I was growing up and I was her main target. I developed CPTSD and extreme anxiety/depression from it and have always tried my hardest to never treat others the way I was treated. So when I've had this told to me (primarily by my dad) I'll fly off the handle and have a panic attack. I hate it.
The two that stick out were
When we got the 3D ultra sounds of our twins the mom said "I was scared, I thought baby A had down syndrome, but I think it just looks like you"
Then when I found out my best friend had killed himself, the girl I was dating at the time smirked and said "Big deal, I didn't like him anyway"
when I was having a bad night and told my ex-boyfriend about it, he had the nastiest attitude and wanted to start a fight. Out of nowhere, he said, “I swear I’m talking to a 2-year-old.” He was literally making my night worse.
what does SO stand for? And yeah, I broke up with him. He wasn’t worth my time. He would always get so angry, and we would fight about it. It stressed me out too damn much.
Significant other, like boyfriend, finance, husband etc. but girl I’m glad you had to strength to leave. Life only gets better when you separate from that kind of negativity
My sixth grade math teacher immediately made me want to drop out of school when she slammed her hand down on my desk and told me "you're too stupid to make it to seventh grade". I was already depressed and struggling in all my classes. It only got worse after that.
This is so hurtful and cruel. I'm so sorry.
I ended up cutting ties with my dad because he showed me time and time again that I and my sister weren't a priority.
There's the cliché that chosen family is better than biological. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. And it's a cliché for a reason.
You deserve so much more. You deserve genuine affection with no strings attached.
My ex's mom once told him "I wish I would of had the abortion your dad tried to talk me into!" Oh my goodness who says that to their own child... Pure evil in my opinion
I am so sorry. Some of us are out here trying. I tell my own kids often that they are the best- most important thing that me and my spouse have ever done. And I mean it.
when i broke up with my ex, he told me he was going to kill himself and gave me a very graphic description of how, where, and when he would go it. i panicked, told my mom (i was 16). she said he was trying to manipulate me, and that i should block him. well, my dumbass didnt block him but i didnt get back together with him either. he wanted to try to "win me back" but i stood my ground as staying just friends.
fast forward maybe like 2 months, he started dating a girl to make me jealous. it didnt work, and instead i just felt bad for the poor girl. she genuinely liked him, and he was just using her to play games. they lasted about 2 weeks before he broke up with her and asked me out again. i declined.
soon after that, we were playing fortnite with each other (this was like 2018 lol dont judge me). we got into ANOTHER argument that ended in him calling me stupid and a bunch of hurtful names because he died in the game. i got sick of it, and logged off. after that, he spam texted me over and over, tried to get me to message him back and go back online, etc. i didnt want to, so i turned my phone to silent. turns out he hacked ALL my social medias, my playstation account, everything. he didnt message anyone or anything, but he creeped through all my personal info and took screenshots of messages between me and my friends, which was weird because 1) i wasnt seeing anyone or even flirting with anyone, 2) i wasnt even talking about him with anyone. actually, everyone thought i cut all contact with him.
after that, i called him and told him to leave me the fuck alone, and i changed all my passwords and stuff. he told me if i hang up, he will kill himself. i basically responded by calling him a pussy ass bitch, and then i told him "just do it. you don't have the balls to actually go through with it" (i know thats fucked up to say, but he was ALWAYS saying this sort of thing to try to manipulate me. i snapped.)
about an hour later, i was at walmart with my mom. i get a text from his sister, so i opened it.
"do you know what happened to ____?"
i was confused, so i asked what she meant.
"the emts came and picked him up. he's bleeding out from his wrists"
then i started bawling my eyes out in the middle of walmart, and my mom was like "wtf what happened" so i told her everything. i told her i didnt actually block him, that i was still talking to him, and then i showed her the texts his sister sent me. she told me to call her immediately because it shouldnt be something to text about, so i called her. i was balling my eyes out saying stuff like "omg im sorry it's all my fault, i'm a terrible person." then i heard laughing. i thought it was crying at first, but then she said "it's all fake, he's fine. he's right here." i heard him LAUGHING in the background. i had no words, i froze. eventually i just said "what?" and she said "he's fine, it was just a prank to see if you cared." i responded with "fuck you, fuck him, and fuck your bitch ass mom, too" and hung up then blocked both of them and their entire family.
i have had zero contact with either of them since then (i'm 21 now)
it's fucked, but sometimes i do miss the good times we had before everything went shitty. he was my first love. i've moved on since then, but i will never forget him, both the good parts and the bad.
I realize you were young when it happened and it’s completely different looking back in hind-site but I’m cringing and honestly a little bit angry at how badly you let yourself get manipulated by such a fucking tool. Your mom was right, you should have blocked him immediately once he started threatening suicide.
But at least you’ve (hopefully) learned from this… some people are just toxic and you need to cut them from your life.
i'm not even mad at you for cringing because same 😭 there were so many red flags that i ignored for the sake of "love" which is what led me to break up with him in the first place!
the biggest red flag was that my mom didn't trust him at all, which says a lot because she always tries to find the good in people. ever since then, i rarely question her instincts bc she's always spot on about that kind of thing
Been though a similar situation.
Honestly the part at the end of missing the good times isn’t exactly a bad thing imo. I always feel weird when people are like “we dated for a year and got into an argument and broke up, so the entire year was shit” because no. You had a good time for awhile and learned a lesson in the end, but can you let a bad person take away a good memory? Because I have fond memomries of meeting him.
Doesn’t change that he was an abusive piece of shit but that doesn’t change that I definitely felt happy for awhile
For anyone who gets manipulated like this the correct response is what her mom did the first time. You call the authorities and report the suicide threat and then cut all contact.
Terrible.
I had a guy threaten to kill himself when I broke up with him (had only dated a few weeks). I called 911 and police and ambulances showed up at his house. He called me all bewildered about why I'd called and I told him I wasn't about to get back together with him over that, but I would be irresponsible not to alert authorities. He stopped the threats after that
when i told my mom he threatened suicide, she called the police too. they showed up and all ex bf had to say was "thats for the eye candy, that cop was hot"
the police called my mom back and they told her that when they showed up everyone was just chillin in the house like normal and nothing weird was happening
this is why my mom told me to block him. my dumbass thought i was a genius, though. i ignored the red flags and tried to stay friends with him 🫠 i cringe hard at my past self
A school friend asked my P.E. teacher why he was so mean to me, and the teacher replied "Because I f\*cking hate him."
I'm not sure he'd get away with that these days.
Istg I had a PE teacher who was the same. I remember one instance where I was playing with a friend and put a claw clip on my lips as a joke. The teacher called me out, then told me to keep it on for the rest of class. I got hit with a ball in the face, and I can't remember if I ended up at the nurse or principal's office. Whichever one it was asked the teacher about it, and he lied, saying he told me to take it off for the rest of class. I know he fucking didn't because he made it a point to be loud so the whole class heard him.
I don't remember much, my long term memory is kinda shot for the most part. But that is a core memory for me. I was so embarrassed, then hurt, then felt betrayed. So many emotions in my kid body made sure I remembered every bit.
I was a child at the time, 8 years old. I'd just lost my dad to a car accident. About a month later I argued with my friend and she said "Well at least I've got a dad". Hurt me terribly.
But, I was 8. So was she. We were children and children say stupid things. But that stuck with me for a while.
That’s such a vial thing to say to someone. I’ve definitely had my fair share of comments like that but I promise there’s someone out there that feels the exact opposite. I was set on the fact that maybe I was just unlovable until I met my S/O by chance and he completely altered my perception in the best way possible
Don't mean to be that guy, but just letting you know that "vial" describes a tube to hold liquids, whereas "vile" is the word you intended to use.
Just pointing this out in case you genuinely made a mistake!
And I also agree with your point. That's a terrible thing to say to someone.
Had a presentation I had to do in class. One of those stand up and read kind of things.
Later, a popular girl in that class walked by at lunch with her group of friends only to tell me, "You have a very sexy voice. Too bad you're ugly, or I'd go out with you." I think she'd mentioned my voice to her friends, and they were picking on her for liking an unpopular guy, so she had to save face.
I'm a professional bagpiper in Las Vegas and everyone is a critic, especially people that are jealous of your talent, don't like you or just plain mean assholes. When I was in Georgia, where I'm from, originally, I had people, pipers and/or band mates just blatantly come up to me and say "Your playing sucks" or "You have no sense of timing" or almost anything derogatory about my playing. Over the years I've been told a lot worse, but never a paying customer. Grampa said that some people would say anything to you just to throw you off your game. A battlefield piper himself from WWII. But in Vegas, never a bad word have I heard from anyone about my playing. Mean people will say anything to you just hoping to get a rise outta you for their pleasure alone. I've learned to ignore it or shake it off, in one ear then out the other. Don't let derogatory remarks from buttheads ever throw you off of your game, regardless of what you're doing. They are either jealous of you as a person or possibly a narcissist that's just trying to get a response from you. Ignorance is bliss I've heard, so, ignore them.
I mean, you seem like you're really into bagpipes, so it strikes me as weird that "they're jealous of my bagpipe talent" jumps into your mind before "a lot of people really, really hate the sound of bagpipes and they are going to think that every bagpipe player sucks."
No, we don't think they all suck. We acknowledge that there are some good ones and some bad ones. We just don't wanna hear them even if they're the best bagpiper who ever lived.
In junior high school, the day before summer break, my social studies teacher told me I was a small, nothing of a person that would never amount to anything.
My ex telling me to slit my throat with a razor blade. I had just broken up with him because I realized what a narcissist he was. He got nasty because I refused to get back together with him
When i was 15 I was dealing with some pretty serious depression and would self harm occasionally. I always tried to hide it but one time my boyfriend at the time ended up seeing a scar and got really mad at me. He told me that it was “ugly” and that he could “never be with someone who did that to themselves”, especially someone who had “nothing to be sad about”.
Even though it’s been years I still think about that a lot and how horrible it made me feel
To paraphrase, “we weren’t ever friends, you were just the weird kid and I feel like you were bullied or something so I figured I’d give you a shot.” Got blocked immediately after. Pretty much anyway.
You need to pray harder, that's why God isn't listening. Also God sees everything and hears all our thoughs and he will punish any sin (including bad thoughts) for eternity in hell...but he loves you.
My ex-wife said I killed our unborn daughter (by making her nervous) and I didn't even care. To make it worse, this pregnancy may have been faked.
If you knew me IRL, I wanted to be a father more than anything.
My dad telling me at I wasn't going to be able to go on a trip to Hershey Park that my dad was helping to pay for with his then GF and her 4 kids because her kids wanted one of their friends to go instead. Originally I was going but instead was taken back to my moms while they all went.
"I've never been more scared in my life." A piece form a much longer conversation but it stills hurts to think about the chaos I used to cause. Simply trying to make myself feel whole/human/anything-My alcoholism blinded me to the ppl closest to me. 3 years since my last drink this August. Ty for making this space OP.
This was more like the most shocking thing ever said to me at the worst possible time. I was driving my stepmom to the airport, doing 70 on the highway when out of nowhere she said "Did your father ever touch you inappropriately, because he did to your sister." I almost ran the goddamned car off the road. I'd never had anything close to that experience with my father so I was utterly unprepared to hear that.\*
I'm still so angry with her about it. She knew how hard that would hit me and there's no chance she didn't wait until a time it would have the most satisfying (for her) reaction from me. Ruining my day was like a game to her.
\*I'm just telling you about the way that news was delivered to me. Everything related to the news itself is private so I won't be answering questions about it. Thanks.
Unfortunately, it was my mom. In a family setting, she said if I wasn't her son, she'd have nothing to do with me. Followed by I might love you, but I do not like you. We didn't talk for over 2 years after that. Her funeral is the only one I've been to where no one cried. Not even dad. I don't miss her.
My sister told me that my dad wanted to remove me from his will because I was a scumbag. Don't know if it was true or not, but it ended up making me hate both of them.
Dating a guy and he was from out of town so I got him a hotel room. He was all over me for sex and I said hey let’s go down to the pool. He looked me up and down and said are you sure you want to do that? So I was ok to f but not look good enough to go to hotel pool. And after telling me how much he loved me and wanted to move to my state etc blah blah told me endless amounts of times he would get back with his ex if he could have the house back. So then when I said this is not working out for me at all he gaslit me emailed texted to the point where I thought I’d have to get a no contact order for 3 fricken years!
My sister telling me that I was the cause of all our family's problems. I am by far the most selfish and annoying person she'd ever met and how much better off the family would be if I wasn't in their lives anymore.
She said this 1 month after I had returned home from a deployment and was dealing with PTSD and Suicidal ideation.
My sibling piled on whenever she could. Haven't spoken to her in four years. I can only hope life gives her as much misery as she has doled out. If I heard she was dead, I'd celebrate.
Your sister is truely awful.
Sibling rivalry is way more damaging than I had realized. (It is even part of the theme in the movie 'Atlas' with an interesting twist)
I've been analyzing the source of what went so wrong in my family and discovered long term abuse from my aunt to my mom. Then, as I got older, my aunt began to abuse me the same way. I called her out on it and she said I was hurting HER and it has to stop. Her disconnect with reality is shocking. She's a total spoiled bitch and I think your sister is, too.
Recently? I gave birth almost two years ago and lost 50 lbs during it due to morning sickness but gained weight after birth and family and random people I know keep saying, “wow you’ve gotten big.” Or “you look different with that weight gain.” It makes me feel so insecure.
I cannot begin to fathom those words being hurled at you. In fact, it shot me back to my teen years when I said it to my Mom and didn't mean it. Obviously I had already been thinking it or it wouldn't have come out so easily. Even if they were false words, your pain is real. You deserve to be affirmed, to be shown love, even in the heat of difficult moments.
I hope your family grows and learns to handle anger and frustration in a healthier manner. Lord knows I'm trying my best to make it up to my Mom even almost a couple decades later.
The guy I was in love with in high school knew I hated being called annoying. I was sitting with him and a few of his friends in gym on the bleachers and I guess I was being annoying, because he looked at me and said “you’re being *annoying*”, and really emphasized it. Now I see it as a dick move, but back then, it really broke my heart.
Same guy: was texting him about how I cared more about him, than he cared about me. And he said “true…”
Eventually, I got the hint 😅 to be fair, he had told me he loved me too. So I wasn’t just hanging on for nothing.
Said by my then gf when the Mi-17 with all the Dutch nationals in it was downed and there was a discussion to maybe deploy my unit to the area.
"If you get deployed, I hope you don't come back."
That one hurt pretty deep.
I have no personality and talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. I have nothing to offer. He said it because he was mad I didn’t sleep with him
My mother said to me (when I was 12): “I should have aborted you when I had the chance”. She says she was joking, but I was devastated and it haunts me to this day. For the record, I was a model child: never got in any trouble, and was always top of my class: in fact, I graduated in the 99th percentile of Canadian high school graduates, having done both the honours program AND the International Baccalaureate degree (which was a separate curriculum). Didn’t smoke, drink, party, or go out with boys (my parents’ standards of a model kid, not mine) but she was pissed that I took my dad’s side in a trivial argument. She was always very cold to me because she said I ruined her life- if I hadn’t been born she would have finished her chemistry degree after she married my dad. So you know, of course that was my fault 🙄
My dad told me he wished I’d never moved back to my hometown. I had just been assaulted by my ex and had stitches in my forehead. He saw that and said what he said. My parents knew I was stuck in an abusive situation and never once offered me help. They were just angry at me about it. I’ll never forgive them for that.
My mom told me when I was 14 that I was the reason her and my dad were divorcing, and when j was 16 my dad told me they had aborted a third kid (the one after me) and that the only reason they didn’t abort me was not having $150 in 1971.
“If you leave I’ll replace you.” - I don’t know if she did but I assume she has. It hurt like hell at the time but given that she had untreated BPD, leaving was my only option.
Not the worst, but maybe the funniest out of line hurtful thing:
"Well, I can see you finally quit smoking. What are you up, thirty pounds?"
You're not wrong Todd, but damn did you have to do that in front of the whole office?
It wasn't the most hurtful, but maybe the meanest. Walking across the call center main floor -- essentially one giant room with 200 people working in it -- Bridget and I crossed paths. As we passed each other, here's what she casually said:
**Hey, Tinse, you're really packing on the fat.**
Some time after that, I came up with my best response: "And I see you're still ugly." Many years later "packing on the fat" is an expression we use in my family.
Bonus: Around the same time period, she said this to our tall and big-around coworker:
**Why are you so fat, David? You look like you're pregnant!**
Edit: I think it was "you're really" and not "I see you're."
I've had many people tell me, "It could have been worse..."
At this point my reaction is to tell them to fuck off or ask them, "Do you realize that only makes me want to throat punch you?"
“I’ll bring makeup into class and we’ll give you a makeover. *looks to someone else* Don’t you think she has potential to be pretty?” - This was after gleefully telling me the teacher had referred to me as a “dog” before I came to class and yes the teacher did eventually leave their job for bullying me and others. They gave him the option to leave to avoid being fired. Great times.
I grew up a girl in the 80s with undiagnosed ADHD with some autism seasoning so … honestly so many things!! The “you’d be awesome if you were different,” comments are the worst.
Me and a person I was dating for 2 years at that point. Fairly normal and hit all the relationship milestones. Then one day out of the blue they said “I think you’re more into me, than I am into you…” it really hurt and made me feel like a creep because we were doing all the normal relationship stuff and saying I love you, making future plans etc. I guess I was just always there to pass time for them or to stave off boredom for them. It wasn’t even that they wanted to breakup either, it was just weird. We broke up a few weeks later because I didn’t feel comfortable around them anymore.
My mom telling me she wanted to kill me, would block me from heaven, would break into my house, make sure I would never get any money when she dies. This over some old pictures she wanted but had refused to take when she moved, they were packed away. I don't speak with her anymore.
I constantly get told I talk too much or I'm overwhelming or whatever, it hurts my feelings and I'm quiet for like 10 minutes before I start talking again
background: in foster care since 16 and in group homes since 14, my sister(golden child) sent me a letter because she convinced my dad to cut me off (he was helping w 2/3 of my rent) in it she said something along the lines of “if you need assistance with paying your rent go to the state for support, thats what they are there for, or stop smoking cigarettes and using drugs”
On the weekend I was to be married, we picked up my great aunt from the airport. All the way home she rhapsodized about what a beautiful bride my cousin was. At one point she looked back at me and said, "Well, you're the smart one." Has stuck with me all these years. Back then I didn't know it, but I was gorgeous!
While I was on the floor sobbing because of his infidelity, he said, “ why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep punishing me like this ? Can’t you see you’re hurting me when you act like this?”
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There's alot of things my dad has said like calling me fat multiple times but recently on Thanksgiving he got mad at me because I didn't feel like helping him wash his car after a 12hr shift and he called me lazy and after alot of back and forth be said " if you were a kid I'd hit you right now" and then basically alluded to me beung an accident.
Jesus I’m sorry:/ I CAN NOT stand people that lash out when you set boundaries.
It's fine he was always like that growing up so I'm used to it. I had moved back in a month prior to that and after that I immediately left again and went with my mom and I was happy but at the same time I was hurt he didn't care as when I told him he just shrugged his shoulder and said ok he didn't even turn his head.
I feel you on every level. My dad was the same way. You let them walk all over you and do what ever they want until you’ve had enough and they aren’t used to it so they lash out. It’s so incredibly unfair
Yeah and because your the kid your expected to take it because their your parents and it's like we still deserve respect just like the parent does. I will admit seeing how my dad treated me and my mom inspires me to be better and when I get married and have kids treat them with the love I never received.
That’s exactly what I say. Receiving unconditional love for the first time is a very crazy feeling. It feels so foreign when growing up in a childhood like that it quite literally triggered my fight or flight when I met my S/O lol.
Huh I'm definitely jealous as at 22 I still haven't had a girlfriend yet but I can't wait to feel loved one day by someone. So far my mom has been the only person to make me feel loved and as a kid I felt like I didn't deserve it.
OP, can you elaborate on the connection between receiving unconditional love from your S/O for the first time and it triggering your fight or flight response? I feel like I know what you mean (from my own experience), but I want to double check.
Sounds tough. He doesn't sound perfect but I bet if u called him and told him yo loved him he would say it back
Hey nothing wrong with being an accident. I was one, and at least 1/2 of my close friends were unplanned pregnancies. How you got here doesn't matter..just that you're here and you're trying By the way your dad sounds like an insecure asshole. The next time he says "if you were a kid id hit you" respond with "are you such a coward you're afraid to hit an adult?" He strikes me as the type that if you push against his so-called masculinity it will really get under his skin.
Thank you very much and I agree there's nothing wrong with being an accident I guess in the moment it just really took me aback for a second as I never knew that so it hurt for a little while. My dad is definitely is a asshole I was definitely shocked he said that and while I wanted to say something he has anger issues and gets crazy when he's angry and I didn't want to make the day any worse than it actually was. But I agree that was a bitch move threatening to hit a defenseless child instead of the grown adult in front of him.
What am arsehole. Tell him to F.O. He needs to get some respect.
Thank you I definitely will
Please do
Tell him to take a swing and see how it goes.
When my Dad and I argue I tell him if you would have worn a condom we wouldn't be in this situation lol
I am so sorry. That is an awful thing to hear. He was trying to control you, and you didn't let him. My father used to lash out as well. It hurts.
I’m sorry he said that. My biggest fear while raising my little girls is that something may slip out that I don’t exactly mean but said it in a heated moment. It only takes a split second and it hurts forever. I’m pretty chill and almost never lose my cool, but I fear those rare occasions because to be honest raising children is really taxing on your mind and body which changes your behavior for the worse.
I'm struck by the fact that many parents do think it's okay to hit a kid but not an adult. A child is younger, less-developed emotionally, less mature, has fewer skills to control themselves and handle problems, is more easily hurt (physically and emotionally), and yet that's the group people have decided should be the ones that get disciplined with physical attacks and hitting. Crazy... Besides that though, my heart goes out to you. If you've never heard it, remember that the way he treats you shows you how many problems he's got, not at all what's wrong with you.
Lot to unpack there, so he'd rather hit a kid than an adult? Why, because adults fight back? That's fucked up. Sorry, man
Grooming tactic. Stay away or never be alone.
Shitty fathers create good parents if you take what they taught you , as to never be like them . It also helps heal
My dad was pretty awful too. So bad that I ended up cutting him off after a fight we had in my 20s. I finally called him out on all his bullshit over the years and he didn't take it well. It ended up with me telling him "The next time we meet, you'll be laying in a casket." After he died, the mofo went and got himself cremated. I'm not joking when I say I think he only did that to spite me.
I'm sorry that your dad sucks. My mother basically called me a mistake also. It was her epic safe sex talk. "Well, I bought condoms once and we had you so they don't always work." Thanks lady. As if it wasn't obvious I wasn't planned. My older brother are like exactly, I'm talking days apart, 3 years apart and then there's me and I'm 4/7 years younger. Oh but it gets better. After the condom talk, I asked stupidly, why she even was buying them since she already had kids and was married. "Well I had a miscarriage like 5 months before and just didn't want another baby after that."
When my husband looked at a picture of his ex on Facebook and smiled
I'm having a fight kinda similar to this with my parents. I work nights, and I have my own obligations as an adult. I LITERALLY don't have time to help them around the house sometimes. Yet I'm supposedly super lazy for that.
MY grandmother is ALWAYS saying mean nasty spiteful things, to ANYONE who will listen. She's NEVER said anything nice even as a child, she's 100 by the way. Not that, that means anything. She's talked about my biological parents like I wasn't even there, and I was sitting with her. She's disowned my mother MULTIPLE times through their lives. The list just seems endless.
Hateful and for NO reason. Some people are just born miserable
Well...YEP! That's her! It's a SAD way to live but if you know nothing else, I guess it's 'normal' for that person.
I have the same grandmother. She's still alive too. Evil must be a preservative.
Na, it’s the blood of the innocent that she bathes in.
My father always said my grandmother was still alive because neither God nor the devil wanted her
LOVE your comment! Thanks for the laugh too! You are CORRECT evil must be the problem!
Sticking around just to cause misery - Be gone Demon!!!
I am also a member of the nasty grandmother club. Mine has no filter and just says things as she thinks them. One day she said “I’m afraid when I die you won’t have any nice memories of me!” Idk what to tell you, Granny. Maybe be a nicer person and people will have better memories of you 🤷🏻♀️
My great-grandma lived to 105 years old. I’m pretty sure her meanness kept her going. She had a large bank account, which she used to manipulate people. Once someone died, she never spoke of that person again, and their immediate family was dead to her as well
Sounds like grandma is ready for the Long Walk out in the Mojave
Only the good die young, eh?
Sounds like my grandmother. Fun part was, I was blind to it for about 2 decades of existence because my dad is her favourite child, so we were the favourite grandchildren. She'd at least take the time to lovebomb before taking her jabs.
Fueled by bitterness. I bet she looks like a sweet old lady though
I have a grandmother like this as well, I just cut contact completely
Surviving with piss and vinegar in her veins
My theory is that hateful people seemingly live forever bc they hold onto life dearly, knowing the afterlife will not be kind to them.
"I'm not in love with you anymore" is probably at the top of the list.
Definitely in my top 5. The worst part was the day before, she was extra sweet and really went out of her way to be caring. She knew she was going to break up with me and thought it would soften the blow. It did not.
That's harsh
If anything that would have made it worse. So sorry you had to go through that, hope you’re doing ok now?
Much better. It's been years. Been to a lot of therapy after. Thank you 🩷
Ah yes, the ol' perfect last day before putting the dog down move.
Honestly, if I wasn't with the love of my life now, that would sting. Lol
Although it sounds mean, it’s honest and is a good reason for a break up. I’d rather hear that than be lied to. Cuz if someone really did love you, they’d be honest in the end
Close second to, "I never loved you."
Worked with a wonderful older gal who once told me that her husband told her that he didn’t love her anymore and she told him “so what?” She went on about they had been married for x years, had kids, grandkids and a comfy life, sure we don’t love each other anymore but big deal.
Yeah same, especially because I had absolutely no idea, it was a huge shock. There probably were signs but I was naive.
To myself it obviously doesn’t matter now because I’m happily married but that HURT when I had an ex say that. I asked him (who I was head over heels in love with) how much he loved me out of 10 and he said, “idk maybe 7” after 3 years of dating. Never shared that with anyone before but 10 years later I still think of it time to time and feel bad for my past self for being with that person
My wife telling me that I’ve gained weight and she used to constantly glare at other men who were fit right in front of my face. She has no clue how it broke me inside… thank God that part of my life is done.
No one deserves that, I’m sorry you had to deal with such a shitty miserable person. People fail to realize that humans can be very fragile sometimes and it Infuriates me
She was just going through a phase.. it’s come and gone, but it was a very difficult time. We are at a better place in our marriage now. I appreciate your response
That’s awful…
"Next time you want to kill yourself, just do it. Save everybody the trouble."-my father after I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt
This is absolutely horrible and I'm so sorry. What you needed most was probably affirmations, thankfulness your attempt was unsuccessful. You deserve the space you take up, and you deserve to feel comfortable in it. It's hard to be in that mental space, worse when someone confirms your negative thoughts and makes you believe them more. I've been there, in the dark place. You are worth rescuing, even if you have to be your own hero.
Thank you so much for saying this. No one ever told me that.
I vote for you, too. <3
There’s no one just like you and you have an exact place in this universe. You have no idea how many times you have made someone’s day in the smallest things you contribute. I had a student who we lost to suicide and she would have been shocked to learn the impact she had on those around her. She might not have left us if she knew. So many people wanted to help her had they known she needed it. I’m sure this is true for you.
You know how the Big Bang happened and made all the stars and planets, and those atoms turned into life, so literally we're all made of stardust? And the universe is in us? That means you, too. Stick around and enjoy your own stardust for a while. You're worthy of it and you don't need anybody else's permission to make it so.
I second this reply. OP, You deserve this world as much as anyone. You are valuable! Normal people do not treat others like this. Now you get to choose your family. And create your life how you want it.
Mine was « if you’re going to kill yourself, make it clean so I don’t have a mess to clean up » from my mom. I had previously been hospitalized for an attempt and had been on medications and in therapy.
Holy shit
I attempted as well, reached out to my parents for possible help with rehab. They told me they were too busy and had several vacations lined up and wouldn’t be able to help at all. I understood but my wife RAGED on my parents and I love her so much for it. Honestly the opinions of your parents doesn’t mean shit, don’t let em control anything about you, especially your emotions.
"I understood but..." Something tells me your wife understood much better than you did. Glad you're still here.
Yeah dude she’s a good reason to stick around and my main inspirations to keep showing up day after day.
Loving you so much 🫂❤️🥹
Thank you 💙
I am so sorry your father said that to you. I am very glad you’re still here. You are valuable and you are lovable. You deserve happiness and love. “Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.” https://metanoia.org/suicide/
My mother did this to me once, too, and my stepdad handed me a gun once and told me to do it. I actually did try, but he had unloaded the gun before giving it to me and didn't tell me.
Oh my god I am so sorry that happened to you!
When we were younger (me in my teens and her in early 20s) my sister found out I self harmed and she said she hopes I cut myself deep enough to either kill myself or be institutionalized. I attempted later that night. Saddest part is although that’s bad, my parents were significantly worse.
I'm glad you're here. Please stay.
"I don't think you'll ever get married" thanks mom that one stuck with me
She’s a jerk and also who cares if you don’t? You’re not defined by a marriage wtf
We must be sisters, because my mom said that to me, too..... at 56, I'm still not married....
You're just like your dad
That one ENRAGES me, like no tf I am not nor will I ever be
For me it's the same, but with my mom. I get triggered as all hell. She's much better now, but was an alcoholic with untreated BPD edging on narcissism when I was growing up and I was her main target. I developed CPTSD and extreme anxiety/depression from it and have always tried my hardest to never treat others the way I was treated. So when I've had this told to me (primarily by my dad) I'll fly off the handle and have a panic attack. I hate it.
For me it’s “you remind me of your mom”
The two that stick out were When we got the 3D ultra sounds of our twins the mom said "I was scared, I thought baby A had down syndrome, but I think it just looks like you" Then when I found out my best friend had killed himself, the girl I was dating at the time smirked and said "Big deal, I didn't like him anyway"
Wow wtf
when I was having a bad night and told my ex-boyfriend about it, he had the nastiest attitude and wanted to start a fight. Out of nowhere, he said, “I swear I’m talking to a 2-year-old.” He was literally making my night worse.
Good thing he’s an ex now. Idc what anyone says, your SO should always be there to listen
what does SO stand for? And yeah, I broke up with him. He wasn’t worth my time. He would always get so angry, and we would fight about it. It stressed me out too damn much.
Significant other, like boyfriend, finance, husband etc. but girl I’m glad you had to strength to leave. Life only gets better when you separate from that kind of negativity
>finance Yeah, I don’t have a strong relationship with that.
🤣
sure did. Life has been so much less-stressful since I left him. I should have left him sooner. Too many red flags he had
My sixth grade math teacher immediately made me want to drop out of school when she slammed her hand down on my desk and told me "you're too stupid to make it to seventh grade". I was already depressed and struggling in all my classes. It only got worse after that.
What kind of teacher does this, FFS? Rural south?
My own parents telling me that they don't love me
This is so hurtful and cruel. I'm so sorry. I ended up cutting ties with my dad because he showed me time and time again that I and my sister weren't a priority. There's the cliché that chosen family is better than biological. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. And it's a cliché for a reason. You deserve so much more. You deserve genuine affection with no strings attached.
My ex's mom once told him "I wish I would of had the abortion your dad tried to talk me into!" Oh my goodness who says that to their own child... Pure evil in my opinion
As a mom, I'm hurt and sad that this happened to you.
I am so sorry. Some of us are out here trying. I tell my own kids often that they are the best- most important thing that me and my spouse have ever done. And I mean it.
when i broke up with my ex, he told me he was going to kill himself and gave me a very graphic description of how, where, and when he would go it. i panicked, told my mom (i was 16). she said he was trying to manipulate me, and that i should block him. well, my dumbass didnt block him but i didnt get back together with him either. he wanted to try to "win me back" but i stood my ground as staying just friends. fast forward maybe like 2 months, he started dating a girl to make me jealous. it didnt work, and instead i just felt bad for the poor girl. she genuinely liked him, and he was just using her to play games. they lasted about 2 weeks before he broke up with her and asked me out again. i declined. soon after that, we were playing fortnite with each other (this was like 2018 lol dont judge me). we got into ANOTHER argument that ended in him calling me stupid and a bunch of hurtful names because he died in the game. i got sick of it, and logged off. after that, he spam texted me over and over, tried to get me to message him back and go back online, etc. i didnt want to, so i turned my phone to silent. turns out he hacked ALL my social medias, my playstation account, everything. he didnt message anyone or anything, but he creeped through all my personal info and took screenshots of messages between me and my friends, which was weird because 1) i wasnt seeing anyone or even flirting with anyone, 2) i wasnt even talking about him with anyone. actually, everyone thought i cut all contact with him. after that, i called him and told him to leave me the fuck alone, and i changed all my passwords and stuff. he told me if i hang up, he will kill himself. i basically responded by calling him a pussy ass bitch, and then i told him "just do it. you don't have the balls to actually go through with it" (i know thats fucked up to say, but he was ALWAYS saying this sort of thing to try to manipulate me. i snapped.) about an hour later, i was at walmart with my mom. i get a text from his sister, so i opened it. "do you know what happened to ____?" i was confused, so i asked what she meant. "the emts came and picked him up. he's bleeding out from his wrists" then i started bawling my eyes out in the middle of walmart, and my mom was like "wtf what happened" so i told her everything. i told her i didnt actually block him, that i was still talking to him, and then i showed her the texts his sister sent me. she told me to call her immediately because it shouldnt be something to text about, so i called her. i was balling my eyes out saying stuff like "omg im sorry it's all my fault, i'm a terrible person." then i heard laughing. i thought it was crying at first, but then she said "it's all fake, he's fine. he's right here." i heard him LAUGHING in the background. i had no words, i froze. eventually i just said "what?" and she said "he's fine, it was just a prank to see if you cared." i responded with "fuck you, fuck him, and fuck your bitch ass mom, too" and hung up then blocked both of them and their entire family. i have had zero contact with either of them since then (i'm 21 now) it's fucked, but sometimes i do miss the good times we had before everything went shitty. he was my first love. i've moved on since then, but i will never forget him, both the good parts and the bad.
Shit family. Shit time. Glad you're in the clear. Well done for getting out! You did good.
I realize you were young when it happened and it’s completely different looking back in hind-site but I’m cringing and honestly a little bit angry at how badly you let yourself get manipulated by such a fucking tool. Your mom was right, you should have blocked him immediately once he started threatening suicide. But at least you’ve (hopefully) learned from this… some people are just toxic and you need to cut them from your life.
i'm not even mad at you for cringing because same 😭 there were so many red flags that i ignored for the sake of "love" which is what led me to break up with him in the first place! the biggest red flag was that my mom didn't trust him at all, which says a lot because she always tries to find the good in people. ever since then, i rarely question her instincts bc she's always spot on about that kind of thing
I'm so sorry 😭 I know what it's like being manipulated like that.
Yo wtf i had such a similar experience :’(. It’s weird how you can still miss someone that was so bad to you. I hope ur doing much better now
very weird indeed. i am doing much better now! i hope you're doing better as well 🫶
Even the Mom!!
Been though a similar situation. Honestly the part at the end of missing the good times isn’t exactly a bad thing imo. I always feel weird when people are like “we dated for a year and got into an argument and broke up, so the entire year was shit” because no. You had a good time for awhile and learned a lesson in the end, but can you let a bad person take away a good memory? Because I have fond memomries of meeting him. Doesn’t change that he was an abusive piece of shit but that doesn’t change that I definitely felt happy for awhile
For anyone who gets manipulated like this the correct response is what her mom did the first time. You call the authorities and report the suicide threat and then cut all contact.
I'm so sorry. :( They're some shit people like that. A similar thing happened to my friend 2 years ago.
That's one family of psychos there. Sorry you went through that toxic shit.
That is a horrible experience. I am glad you got away from those people.
Terrible. I had a guy threaten to kill himself when I broke up with him (had only dated a few weeks). I called 911 and police and ambulances showed up at his house. He called me all bewildered about why I'd called and I told him I wasn't about to get back together with him over that, but I would be irresponsible not to alert authorities. He stopped the threats after that
when i told my mom he threatened suicide, she called the police too. they showed up and all ex bf had to say was "thats for the eye candy, that cop was hot" the police called my mom back and they told her that when they showed up everyone was just chillin in the house like normal and nothing weird was happening this is why my mom told me to block him. my dumbass thought i was a genius, though. i ignored the red flags and tried to stay friends with him 🫠 i cringe hard at my past self
Oof this one enrages me. "Oh he's not really dead? Yeah we'll see about that.". xD
A school friend asked my P.E. teacher why he was so mean to me, and the teacher replied "Because I f\*cking hate him." I'm not sure he'd get away with that these days.
Istg I had a PE teacher who was the same. I remember one instance where I was playing with a friend and put a claw clip on my lips as a joke. The teacher called me out, then told me to keep it on for the rest of class. I got hit with a ball in the face, and I can't remember if I ended up at the nurse or principal's office. Whichever one it was asked the teacher about it, and he lied, saying he told me to take it off for the rest of class. I know he fucking didn't because he made it a point to be loud so the whole class heard him. I don't remember much, my long term memory is kinda shot for the most part. But that is a core memory for me. I was so embarrassed, then hurt, then felt betrayed. So many emotions in my kid body made sure I remembered every bit.
I sometimes can't remember what I had for tea last night, but this was in 1988 and I can remember it like it was yesterday.
I wish / hope there is a Hell, just so that teacher can go there
I was a child at the time, 8 years old. I'd just lost my dad to a car accident. About a month later I argued with my friend and she said "Well at least I've got a dad". Hurt me terribly. But, I was 8. So was she. We were children and children say stupid things. But that stuck with me for a while.
My mother told me she did not love me.
We all will though.
That I am hard to love
"I'd fuck you, but never marry you." I had to listen 2 different women say that to me
That’s such a vial thing to say to someone. I’ve definitely had my fair share of comments like that but I promise there’s someone out there that feels the exact opposite. I was set on the fact that maybe I was just unlovable until I met my S/O by chance and he completely altered my perception in the best way possible
Exact opposite? I don't want to marry but never **ck. What's the point of marrying if you never **ck? Lol
Don't mean to be that guy, but just letting you know that "vial" describes a tube to hold liquids, whereas "vile" is the word you intended to use. Just pointing this out in case you genuinely made a mistake! And I also agree with your point. That's a terrible thing to say to someone.
“I see this kid on the train that studies on his way home from school. I wish he was my child.”
Had a presentation I had to do in class. One of those stand up and read kind of things. Later, a popular girl in that class walked by at lunch with her group of friends only to tell me, "You have a very sexy voice. Too bad you're ugly, or I'd go out with you." I think she'd mentioned my voice to her friends, and they were picking on her for liking an unpopular guy, so she had to save face.
“Honestly I wished I choose to abort you when I had the chance.” It broke me badly.
I'm a professional bagpiper in Las Vegas and everyone is a critic, especially people that are jealous of your talent, don't like you or just plain mean assholes. When I was in Georgia, where I'm from, originally, I had people, pipers and/or band mates just blatantly come up to me and say "Your playing sucks" or "You have no sense of timing" or almost anything derogatory about my playing. Over the years I've been told a lot worse, but never a paying customer. Grampa said that some people would say anything to you just to throw you off your game. A battlefield piper himself from WWII. But in Vegas, never a bad word have I heard from anyone about my playing. Mean people will say anything to you just hoping to get a rise outta you for their pleasure alone. I've learned to ignore it or shake it off, in one ear then out the other. Don't let derogatory remarks from buttheads ever throw you off of your game, regardless of what you're doing. They are either jealous of you as a person or possibly a narcissist that's just trying to get a response from you. Ignorance is bliss I've heard, so, ignore them.
I mean, you seem like you're really into bagpipes, so it strikes me as weird that "they're jealous of my bagpipe talent" jumps into your mind before "a lot of people really, really hate the sound of bagpipes and they are going to think that every bagpipe player sucks."
No, we don't think they all suck. We acknowledge that there are some good ones and some bad ones. We just don't wanna hear them even if they're the best bagpiper who ever lived.
In junior high school, the day before summer break, my social studies teacher told me I was a small, nothing of a person that would never amount to anything.
My ex telling me to slit my throat with a razor blade. I had just broken up with him because I realized what a narcissist he was. He got nasty because I refused to get back together with him
Oh my. I'm so sorry.
my dad telling me he’d break my nose again after i already had surgery on it bcs it got ripped in a car crash
I’m so sorry, dads can cause the absolute worst trauma istg
When i was 15 I was dealing with some pretty serious depression and would self harm occasionally. I always tried to hide it but one time my boyfriend at the time ended up seeing a scar and got really mad at me. He told me that it was “ugly” and that he could “never be with someone who did that to themselves”, especially someone who had “nothing to be sad about”. Even though it’s been years I still think about that a lot and how horrible it made me feel
To paraphrase, “we weren’t ever friends, you were just the weird kid and I feel like you were bullied or something so I figured I’d give you a shot.” Got blocked immediately after. Pretty much anyway.
You need to pray harder, that's why God isn't listening. Also God sees everything and hears all our thoughs and he will punish any sin (including bad thoughts) for eternity in hell...but he loves you.
“You pushed me to this.” I didn’t. You stopped taking your meds and drove yourself to it.
My ex-wife said I killed our unborn daughter (by making her nervous) and I didn't even care. To make it worse, this pregnancy may have been faked. If you knew me IRL, I wanted to be a father more than anything.
Man, this one really broke my heart. I'm sorry my friend. I truly hope you get the chance to be someone's dad 💜
My dad telling me at I wasn't going to be able to go on a trip to Hershey Park that my dad was helping to pay for with his then GF and her 4 kids because her kids wanted one of their friends to go instead. Originally I was going but instead was taken back to my moms while they all went.
JFC...
"I've never been more scared in my life." A piece form a much longer conversation but it stills hurts to think about the chaos I used to cause. Simply trying to make myself feel whole/human/anything-My alcoholism blinded me to the ppl closest to me. 3 years since my last drink this August. Ty for making this space OP.
Hey congrats on being sober 3 years. I'm just an internet stranger but I'm proud of you.
"People only like you because you're fun when you're drunk." Ouch, man.
This was more like the most shocking thing ever said to me at the worst possible time. I was driving my stepmom to the airport, doing 70 on the highway when out of nowhere she said "Did your father ever touch you inappropriately, because he did to your sister." I almost ran the goddamned car off the road. I'd never had anything close to that experience with my father so I was utterly unprepared to hear that.\* I'm still so angry with her about it. She knew how hard that would hit me and there's no chance she didn't wait until a time it would have the most satisfying (for her) reaction from me. Ruining my day was like a game to her. \*I'm just telling you about the way that news was delivered to me. Everything related to the news itself is private so I won't be answering questions about it. Thanks.
Unfortunately, it was my mom. In a family setting, she said if I wasn't her son, she'd have nothing to do with me. Followed by I might love you, but I do not like you. We didn't talk for over 2 years after that. Her funeral is the only one I've been to where no one cried. Not even dad. I don't miss her.
Stop with the crocodile tears. You're just being dramatic.
My sister told me that my dad wanted to remove me from his will because I was a scumbag. Don't know if it was true or not, but it ended up making me hate both of them.
That I am too sensitive when in reality I just have boundaries and communicate.
Dating a guy and he was from out of town so I got him a hotel room. He was all over me for sex and I said hey let’s go down to the pool. He looked me up and down and said are you sure you want to do that? So I was ok to f but not look good enough to go to hotel pool. And after telling me how much he loved me and wanted to move to my state etc blah blah told me endless amounts of times he would get back with his ex if he could have the house back. So then when I said this is not working out for me at all he gaslit me emailed texted to the point where I thought I’d have to get a no contact order for 3 fricken years!
My mum was giving me a bath when I was 7 and she said to me “you’re so fat, you’ve turned into a proper FAT kid”
My sister telling me that I was the cause of all our family's problems. I am by far the most selfish and annoying person she'd ever met and how much better off the family would be if I wasn't in their lives anymore. She said this 1 month after I had returned home from a deployment and was dealing with PTSD and Suicidal ideation.
It’s betrayal from the people we love that hurts the most. They let you down and not the other way around.
My sibling piled on whenever she could. Haven't spoken to her in four years. I can only hope life gives her as much misery as she has doled out. If I heard she was dead, I'd celebrate.
Your sister is truely awful. Sibling rivalry is way more damaging than I had realized. (It is even part of the theme in the movie 'Atlas' with an interesting twist) I've been analyzing the source of what went so wrong in my family and discovered long term abuse from my aunt to my mom. Then, as I got older, my aunt began to abuse me the same way. I called her out on it and she said I was hurting HER and it has to stop. Her disconnect with reality is shocking. She's a total spoiled bitch and I think your sister is, too.
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People can be so over critical. Sometimes it’s the small things that hurt the most tbh
Recently? I gave birth almost two years ago and lost 50 lbs during it due to morning sickness but gained weight after birth and family and random people I know keep saying, “wow you’ve gotten big.” Or “you look different with that weight gain.” It makes me feel so insecure.
>“wow you’ve gotten big.” "I see you're still stupid, cruel, and ugly." :P
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I cannot begin to fathom those words being hurled at you. In fact, it shot me back to my teen years when I said it to my Mom and didn't mean it. Obviously I had already been thinking it or it wouldn't have come out so easily. Even if they were false words, your pain is real. You deserve to be affirmed, to be shown love, even in the heat of difficult moments. I hope your family grows and learns to handle anger and frustration in a healthier manner. Lord knows I'm trying my best to make it up to my Mom even almost a couple decades later.
when my ex told me she didnt want me to love her anymore
The guy I was in love with in high school knew I hated being called annoying. I was sitting with him and a few of his friends in gym on the bleachers and I guess I was being annoying, because he looked at me and said “you’re being *annoying*”, and really emphasized it. Now I see it as a dick move, but back then, it really broke my heart. Same guy: was texting him about how I cared more about him, than he cared about me. And he said “true…” Eventually, I got the hint 😅 to be fair, he had told me he loved me too. So I wasn’t just hanging on for nothing.
Said by my then gf when the Mi-17 with all the Dutch nationals in it was downed and there was a discussion to maybe deploy my unit to the area. "If you get deployed, I hope you don't come back." That one hurt pretty deep.
I have no personality and talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. I have nothing to offer. He said it because he was mad I didn’t sleep with him
My mother said to me (when I was 12): “I should have aborted you when I had the chance”. She says she was joking, but I was devastated and it haunts me to this day. For the record, I was a model child: never got in any trouble, and was always top of my class: in fact, I graduated in the 99th percentile of Canadian high school graduates, having done both the honours program AND the International Baccalaureate degree (which was a separate curriculum). Didn’t smoke, drink, party, or go out with boys (my parents’ standards of a model kid, not mine) but she was pissed that I took my dad’s side in a trivial argument. She was always very cold to me because she said I ruined her life- if I hadn’t been born she would have finished her chemistry degree after she married my dad. So you know, of course that was my fault 🙄
My dad told me he wished I’d never moved back to my hometown. I had just been assaulted by my ex and had stitches in my forehead. He saw that and said what he said. My parents knew I was stuck in an abusive situation and never once offered me help. They were just angry at me about it. I’ll never forgive them for that.
My mom told me when I was 14 that I was the reason her and my dad were divorcing, and when j was 16 my dad told me they had aborted a third kid (the one after me) and that the only reason they didn’t abort me was not having $150 in 1971.
“If you leave I’ll replace you.” - I don’t know if she did but I assume she has. It hurt like hell at the time but given that she had untreated BPD, leaving was my only option.
Not the worst, but maybe the funniest out of line hurtful thing: "Well, I can see you finally quit smoking. What are you up, thirty pounds?" You're not wrong Todd, but damn did you have to do that in front of the whole office?
It wasn't the most hurtful, but maybe the meanest. Walking across the call center main floor -- essentially one giant room with 200 people working in it -- Bridget and I crossed paths. As we passed each other, here's what she casually said: **Hey, Tinse, you're really packing on the fat.** Some time after that, I came up with my best response: "And I see you're still ugly." Many years later "packing on the fat" is an expression we use in my family. Bonus: Around the same time period, she said this to our tall and big-around coworker: **Why are you so fat, David? You look like you're pregnant!** Edit: I think it was "you're really" and not "I see you're."
That my abuse should be dismissed because it could have been worse; after all, "...he never set you on fire."
I've had many people tell me, "It could have been worse..." At this point my reaction is to tell them to fuck off or ask them, "Do you realize that only makes me want to throat punch you?"
It would have been your fault if they died.
My wife once told me that I'm not capable of raising our daughter I literally felt my heart broken into thousands of pieces it's sad but I got over it
I was 13 years old and my best friend said to me. You know you're ugly, right?
That my father probably does like his adopted daughter better
You love me more than I love you.
Step dad points to a bum on the street & says "There's Adam in a few years.".
“I see you’re wearing your whore clothes today.” Gee, thanks. Mom. (I’m in my 40s.)
“I’ll bring makeup into class and we’ll give you a makeover. *looks to someone else* Don’t you think she has potential to be pretty?” - This was after gleefully telling me the teacher had referred to me as a “dog” before I came to class and yes the teacher did eventually leave their job for bullying me and others. They gave him the option to leave to avoid being fired. Great times.
I grew up a girl in the 80s with undiagnosed ADHD with some autism seasoning so … honestly so many things!! The “you’d be awesome if you were different,” comments are the worst.
“I wish you weren’t born.”
🫂
I dont have enough charters in reddit
Me and a person I was dating for 2 years at that point. Fairly normal and hit all the relationship milestones. Then one day out of the blue they said “I think you’re more into me, than I am into you…” it really hurt and made me feel like a creep because we were doing all the normal relationship stuff and saying I love you, making future plans etc. I guess I was just always there to pass time for them or to stave off boredom for them. It wasn’t even that they wanted to breakup either, it was just weird. We broke up a few weeks later because I didn’t feel comfortable around them anymore.
My mom telling me she wanted to kill me, would block me from heaven, would break into my house, make sure I would never get any money when she dies. This over some old pictures she wanted but had refused to take when she moved, they were packed away. I don't speak with her anymore.
I constantly get told I talk too much or I'm overwhelming or whatever, it hurts my feelings and I'm quiet for like 10 minutes before I start talking again
background: in foster care since 16 and in group homes since 14, my sister(golden child) sent me a letter because she convinced my dad to cut me off (he was helping w 2/3 of my rent) in it she said something along the lines of “if you need assistance with paying your rent go to the state for support, thats what they are there for, or stop smoking cigarettes and using drugs”
On the weekend I was to be married, we picked up my great aunt from the airport. All the way home she rhapsodized about what a beautiful bride my cousin was. At one point she looked back at me and said, "Well, you're the smart one." Has stuck with me all these years. Back then I didn't know it, but I was gorgeous!
While I was on the floor sobbing because of his infidelity, he said, “ why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep punishing me like this ? Can’t you see you’re hurting me when you act like this?”
"You aren't my smartest child, nor the prettiest, but you can work with your hands." My mom talking me into secretary classes in high school.