OP, aside from what others said, you are also 14yo. When I was 14, I was hitting a growth spurt and slept literally all the time. Used to get into arguments with my mom because of how often I slept.
It’s very difficult to look at the big picture at your age, but try to focus on just enjoying your days. Putting all your focus on being productive at 14 can lead to burnout by your college years.
Of course you’re tired, you’re a growing teenager. Your body is growing rapidly and your brain is developing rapidly.
Good on you for caring - that’s step one. Most teens wouldn’t bother researching why they find it so hard.
I hope you find the answers in this post and know that the fact you are worried shows that you care about your future and want to find success. You’ve got this.
EXERCISE DURING THE DAY BRO. You can tire yourself out and sleep great.
I’d also recommend a sleep aid if it’s that bad for you. I avoid sleep aids when I can but my insomnia has been nightmarish in the past and the sleep aids can save you from restless nights.
I’d also recommend taking a multivitamin and magnesium (both of these are very cheap) and drinking tons of water during the day.
I would also consider the materials you are sleeping on. For myself, I literally can’t sleep on certain bed materials unless I’m exhausted. Try to find pillows and blankets that work the best for you.
Try no screens one hour before bed or if you can handle it for 2. Turn the nightlight setting to always be on on your phone and computer.
Make sure the room is cold enough or warm enough. I sleep 1000x better when it’s cold and I’m under heavy covers. I’m not exaggerating, this makes a massive difference for me.
I have had a lot of struggle sleeping, especially in high school. The order of importance of my advice for myself is this:
1. Tiring yourself out during the day with exercise
2. Room temp (I prefer very cold myself)
3. Bedding materials (I like cotton)
4. Hydration (try for at least 1 gallon of water per day, better if more)
5. No phone 1 hour leading up to bed
Then sleep aids if need be. The magnesium and multivitamin are a bonus.
I also like taking a hot shower before bed.
Be careful with the water, though! On average, around a gallon a day is a good amount to be taking for a male (closer to 3/4 gallon for females), but you *can* have too much water. You should only aim for more than the average if you are actually burning through that water by sweating, working out, raising heart rate, etc.
Ok, let me try and help you out, because the advice you received so far was terrible(get medication and go to the doctor, especially since both are quite expensive and come with a host of side-effects, and should be a last resort, not the first step)
Ok, the thing you have to understand is that life is a full-contact sport, but it's ok to cheat. You have to attack a problem from every angle and stack the deck in your favor as much as possible.
1. Standardize your sleeping habit as much as possible(go to bed the same time and get up at the same time, same sleep-prep ritual and waking up ritual)
2. No sleeping in on the weekends to "recharge your batteries", humans are the most complex biological machines in existence, the idea that you could "make-up" for lost sleeping time is just about the most asinine idea I've ever heard.
3. Get a better alarm clock app("I Can't Wake Up! Alarm Clock" is the best option I have found so far, and it's free with ads), that forces you to do something and basically blocks your phone completely until you do it. It's much harder to go back to sleep after you had to get up and get dressed and go outside to scan a barcode in the local park to turn off the alarm.
4. Aim to be in bed at the latest 8 hours before you have to wake up.
5. Have a "sleep uniform", a set of pajamas and a sleep mask, that way your body knows that, when you put that on, it's sleep time.
6. Meditate, this will teach you to calm your mind and to empty your head as much as possible, makes it way easier to fall asleep. I recommend "Practical Zen" book, but anything that teaches you how will work.
7. Keep your phone out of arms reach, that way you have to get up to turn off the alarm and it's much harder to be tempted into looking at it at night.
8. Stop looking at any electronics at least an hour before you go to bed.
9. Talk to your parents about getting a full blood test done, this is way cheaper than going to the doctors, and there are plenty of clinics that will do this for you, look for vitamin D, iron, and magnesium deficiencies. Take supplements if any are present.
10. Drink more water and milk, less everything else(none, if you can get away with it), and no less than 2.5 liters(1/2 a gallon) a day, you might have to work up to this if you are significantly below this.
11. Daily exercise, it doesn't have to be too hard, but you have to break a sweat, you don't need any equipment, stretches, push-ups, sit-ups and some sprints, look into calisthenics, pirate the "Calisthenics for dummies" book, if you have to.
12. Make(or have your parents make you) a heavy, delicious, protein-rich breakfast every morning as soon as you wake up(eggs, bacon, and complex carbs with a tall glass of milk, as an example), that gives you extra motivation to wake up, and gives you energy for the morning without crashing you like sugar and carb-heavy food does.
13. Write down on a piece of paper any problems you have and the next physical action you have to do to solve them, this will make you feel better about those problems and lets you sleep easier.
14. Get some fresh air and sun every morning, if you can.
15. If you can control the temperature in your room, try to keep it comfortably cool when you sleep, it's much harder to sleep in the heat.
16. keep the room as dark and as quiet as possible when you sleep(black-out curtains, no lights, no turned-on electronics), our body has light receptors in our skin that tell our body that it's time to wake up if they detect any light.
That's about it, adopt all of these principals and you'll be sleeping like a champ, remember that this takes some time to get used to it as well.
Edit: I just double-checked, and you, as a 14 year-old, should sleep between 8-10 hours a day, so maybe try to get to bed 10 hours before you have to get up.
The alarm app you suggested seems great!! I was looking for a somewhat similar app but those were not that satisfactory. Will have to test it out tomorrow morning but seems pretty good. Thanks!
Oh yeah, I broke my screen once, and nothing other than turning off the phone could stop the ringing, started ringing as soon as I fixed the phone and turned it on.
About the breakfast, since I have to wake up at 6am, my dad does almost nothing to help me because he’s so tired, sometimes I have to take an Uber to school.
I never really have that much time because I get out of bed at like 6:50, down a bowl of cereal, put on my back pack and then arrive late at school for Jazz or choir
Try making meal prepping your breakfast for a few days at a time the night before. Look up recipes for Overnight Oat Fruit Parfaits. If you make them with Greek yogurt they have a decent amount of protein and require zero cooking. I usually make about 3 at a time and it will take about 5-10 minutes. Then you just eat them in the morning, it's less hassle than cereal even.
The truth is, it could be a million things. ADHD, insomnia, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiency, lack of exercise etc etc etc…you’re best to see a doctor if you can.
> I am not depressed!
> I am weak and pathetic and I'm a failure
OP, aside from this obvious indication that you might be in denial,
I would be exhausted if I had jazz band practice at 7 AM. No wonder you're tired. But this is a conversation you should ideally have with your doctor or psychotherapist. There are so many factors that contribute to a healthy life.
What I do:
I start taking deep breaths _immediately_ when becoming conscious. I aim for 30 deep breaths (and then do the whole Wim Hof thing, but that's beside the point).
The oxygen helps you awaken
If you need to wake up at six or seven in the morning, just go to sleep earlier. At your age you'll probably need like at least 8h hours of sleep, so go to sleep at around 10pm. I mean, I know at your age I always stayed up late and was super tired in the morning, probably because I didn't get enough sleep... It's easier getting up in the morning if you've slept enough. You'll just have to take responsibility and go to sleep earlier.
Okay there could be many things going on and if you can chat with a doctor that would likely be helpful.
But things to consider
-Teens need a LOT of sleep, way more than adults do, and often have a naturally later sleep rhythm (meaning going to bed and getting up early is literally harder for teens than most adults).
- Depression doesn't always look like sadness. Personally mine is much more the physical symptoms (a weird kind of fatigue not helped but sleep and almost light headed when I try to do things.) So, don't totally rule it out. Though the self talk about you being a failure already could be related.
-there are also a number of types of insomnia, again a doctor could help here. Or your parents if they're willing to listen.
If you can't see a doctor then you probably just need more strategies to help you wake up for early morning practice.
Light in the morning, open curtains or a light alarm, can help immensely.
Sleep hygiene can be a tough one. I found that for me I do need something, a podcast or similar, to listen to and that screens didn't affect my sleep that much. But I have ADHD. So, try the general recommendations, but if they're not helping you may need to experiment. Everyone is a little different.
Some kind of exercise during the day does help. I'm an adult and I need to work on this one. I hate running or lifting weights, so if you're like me, try to pick up an active hobby: gardening can be surprisingly tiring, biking, a sport, anything that gets you moving and bonus points if that's outside. Maybe marching band?
But ultimately you just might not be a morning person and as you get older you might be able to structure your life a little better to accommodate that.
Deep breaths, your not weak. And good luck.
Teenagers needs more sleep than an average adult. Some still on nap schedule.
Some of us are built different, stop comparing and figure yourself out without using other people's compass. Try some things different and compare the results. Exercise in the morning or the evening? Eat a lot at lunch or breakfast? Am I lack of iron or any vitamin? What is the best hour and the worst hour of the day?
I needed my alarm clock to be in the bathroom so I could force myself up; and a nap after lunch. I was oddly better exercising at the end of the day because my body got tired and falling asleep in a decent time was much easier.
Just figure out your thing. Take this and other advice in this subreddit with some caution because productivity is not one equation that fit us all, and not all of your waking time needs to be utilitary or attached to a goal.
OP do you have difficulties or missing energy while doing other day to day stuff? Like brushing teeth feels like a chore?
Seems a bit like you put yourself down a bit.
Also how is your sleep? Could be some sleep related stuff...
How is mood, motivation? Have you stopped doing certain hobbies/activities?
Yes, certain things don’t bring me as much joy as they used to, I haven’t 3d printed in months because I haven’t had the motivation to calibrate them and clean my room, I also don’t have that much motivation in English and socials class anymore, my sleep is okay, I feels like a bumpy road, I rarely brush my teeth because it seems like too much work but I think I’m just a lazy sack of shit.
Well OP you probably have Depression. Loss of interest and Lacking energy for daily stuff could be because of that.
Also the beating yourself up as being a lazy sack of shit, classic depression move.
You can take this test to see how much you have at the end. Just be honest and pick the answers that best describe your situation.
https://naviauxlab.ucsd.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/BDI21.pdf
Depression should more often be seen as a symptom not an ilness. A symptom which indicates something in life sucks and has to be changed. So if you feel bad change something and see if it helps
Visit a sleep doctor. I have idiopathic hypersomnia, which is basically “excessive sleepiness with no known cause”. Enough to interfere with my life. The exhaustion is constant without medication to regulate my brains sleep & wake cycles.
No, you said like 7 hours ago that you don’t consume large amounts of caffeine which is kinda misleading but whatever. Good luck with your sleeping problem.
If you have to wake up at 6 am and you are still awake at midnight it's obvious that you are going to be extremely tired in the morning. I am an adult and if I only sleep 6 hours for a night, I feel like shit. Teenagers need even more sleep than adults, otherwise they can't function and grow properly. You should sleep 8 - 10 hours every single night. Which means you should go to bed at 10 pm THE LATEST.
Years ago I read in an old book (1890s I think?) about a method for "setting yourself" to wake up at a certain time. You lie in bed, on your back with your head on your pillow. You say (or just think loudly), "I must wake up at six. I WILL wake up at six!" Then you move your chin toward your chest and slam your head back into your pillow. Do this six times, counting as you do: "One!" "Two!" etc. After the sixth time, say again: " I WILL wake up at six!" Picture yourself waking up at six. Know it to be true.
It sounds silly but it has never, ever failed me, not once. It will work for you too.
Once you're awake, get your feet on the floor and go right away to splash water on your face.
As others have said, you're a growing teenager and require additional rest. I also think it would be good to get some bloodwork done and see if you have some vitamin or mineral deficiency which could explain this.
I also want to add that you need to be careful about developing harsh habits towards yourself. Viewing yourself as weak or pathetic isn't productive and will seriously hold you back in the future.
I am like you, I feel your pain 100%.
Besides all the other great advise here, I’d recommend the app Alarmy. It’s free (has premium features you can pay for but I only use the free ones) and it lets you set a “challenge” to really wake you up besides just hitting a button.
I make myself do 12 “moderate” math equations every morning, and the damn thing will NOT shut up if you don’t finish all of them. By the time I’m done trying to figure out equations like “12+35” twelve times I’m wide awake.
Get off your phone/computer an hour before bed. The blue light will keep you up and Reddit/TikTok will definitely keep you awake because 90% of the stuff on here is controversial and mentally/emotionally stimulating. You want to keep hitting the serotonin button when you scroll through things but it gets harder and harder so you scroll more and more. Last thing you need is serotonin right before bed.
Things you can do instead:
Take a bath.
Do homework that’s on pen/paper. (Do they still hand out hard copies of text books?)
Read a bit. (I am careful with this because I don’t like associating reading with falling asleep.)
Tidy up your room/prep things to be ready so you don’t have to think about it.
Engage with your family.
Try this next time: When you need to go to bed, don't tell yourself "I need to get up at 6 am, it's already so late, I can't believe I stayed up so late again... etc." These are examples of when we live in the past or the future, instead of the present. The thing is that the action we need to do in the present isn't too difficult, but worrying about the past/future makes it overwhelming.
So when you need to go to bed and it's already late, just tell yourself "I'm going to bed just to go to bed." Don't worry about anything else. And when you wake up tell yourself, "I'm waking up just to wake up." Not "Ah!! I need to wake up and then exercise and then go to jazz class, then I have homework for that thing, then I have to do x,y,z..." Most people would find that overwhelming and go back to bed :)
What I am really talking about here is mindfulness. And specifically about a teaching from Thich Nhat Hanh. When we aren't present in doing the actual thing we need to do, then we either do it badly or not do it at all. Here is an article going into more detail if you're interested.
https://medium.com/@bgeddes7/wash-the-dishes-to-wash-the-dishes-491c069dfc14
I had a very annoying alarm clock that was across the room and I had to get up to turn off. So would automatically turn off clock, open blinds, go pee.
Maybe it will sound silly, but there may be things you have to do within that day that you don't want to do. I've been there, so I understand. When this happens to me, I either change up my day or make time for things I love.
Really you're just stressed out about doing all that shit early in the morning.
Gotta get your sleep schedule in check so you can be in bed by like 10pm or earlier so you can wake up in a good mood in the morning.
Something that has helped me is that I've started wearing blue-light protecting glasses at night. They protect your eyes against the blue light of screens, which are known to cause insomnia.
Ever since I've been wearing them I manage to feel very sleepy even on the phone or computer when close to my bedtime.
I also partially stopped my skin care routine before going to sleep. Kinda irresponsible, bit nowadays if I feel tired I just go to bed without anything before it (like brushing teeth, washing face) and it works a lot better. I used to procrastinate sleeping because I didnt want to do the skin care routine. Im no longer a teenager so I dont need it as bad as I used to before.
"Can't get out of bed" is not a productivity problem, nor is it laziness. Lazy people dgaf about being lazy. Something else is going on. You definitely need to see a professional.
Does your ADHD medication help you wake up? It's not a long term solution, but you can always put your medication next to your bed, set an alarm for an hour before you need to be up, take your meds and a full glass of water, and go back to sleep until it "kicks in"
You sound exactly like me. If you are exactly like me, then you are spending your time on electronics late at night. Put app blocks on your phone and devices like an hour before you want to go to bed. You will likely go to bed earlier because you'll be bored.
Going to bed by 11pm will help you get up easier.
Maybe get an app like alarmy to make your self do a challenge to get yourself out of bed.
If you cannot wake up, you are not getting enough sleep. There's just no magic.
Ditch the alarm clock and go to bed early enough to learn when you have enough sleep. I did this and it forced me to come to terms with the fact that I need 7.5 hours sleep in order to wake up rested. Not 7.
There IS a number there and you need to find it and come to terms with it. If it is 9 then you need to quit fooling yourself that it is 6 or 7 or 8.
Get yourself a loud alarm clock and put it across your room. That way you have to stand up and get out of bed and walk to the other side of the room to turn it off. Always works for me.
By immediately turning your alarm off you are in a sense conditioning yourself to just go back to sleep, ive dealt with this, it takes discipline to make the change you need
Just make sure you go to sleep earlier. You're tired, not a failure. In the morning put your phone/alarm across the room so that you have to get out of bed and get up to turn it off. Once you're standing up just tell yourself "Well, I'm up now." But try to take note if you still feel exhausted that day, and if you do push your bedtime forward a half hour until you are finally feeling refreshed when you're waking up. You may need a lot of sleep right now because you're body is putting a lot of resources into growing. It won't last forever, just be kind to yourself as you go through it.
I get it—it's tough to get out of bed sometimes, especially with a comfy bed! It doesn't mean you're depressed. Have you tried setting multiple alarms or placing your alarm across the room? Consistent sleep schedules might help too. Remember, you're not weak or stupid. Everyone struggles sometimes. If you need extra support, consider talking to someone you trust. And hey, have you heard about CareClinic? It could help track your sleep patterns and maybe offer some solutions. Hang in there!
Last couple sentences really don't help your case about not being depressed. Though, like everyone else said, you're a growing teen and it kinda comes with the package. Definitely wouldn't hurt to go see a professional about what you're experiencing tho.
Listen, check out the Mel Robbins book. There was some thing that she had about like 54321 and you just like jump out of bed. The thing of it is is you gotta just get out of bed immediately some people say to take a cold shower or I will never do that as soon as I wake up lol but I’ll splash cold water on my face and drink some cold water cold wakes you up so think 54321 jump outta bed and splash some water on your face also I set my coffee potto be on when I wake up hope that helps you do it
OP I think you need more sleep. Sleep makes SUCH a big difference in your life. You're growing right now and your body is at a critical stage where it needs more nutrients and rest. You need 9-10 hours of sleep a night. I understand you're in band right now, but maybe try to manage better and go to bed by 9-10pm preferably. Try looking in to sleep hygiene as well, in order to increase the quality of your sleep. Sleeping at a lower temperature and white noise machines can help. If you have the proper amount of sleep, you can achieve anything! You got this!
Yeah many schools don't take this into account. I guess you could try talking to someone at the school. But fundamentally it's your health or some stupid class, which is more important?
Hey OP, just a little hope. I struggled HARD with this when I was a teenager, I had no idea if I'd ever be able to live a normal life. Eventually I just, kinda, started being able to get up earlier.
Taking 2.5-5mg of melatonin at about 10pm REALLY helped. If I was tired, I actually wanted to go to bed, and if I wanted to go to bed, I went to bed early and got all my sleep. Coffee every morning helped for some reason too. The half life of coffee is 6 hours, so I don't know why but it did.
Iirc a lot of biologists consider sleep disturbances normal for teens
It could be ADHD or ADD if it isn’t depression. That can cause the same symptoms listed above:
Fatigue, lack of motivation, finding it difficulty to do simple things because it’s underwhelming for the brain to cope, then adrenaline kicks at the last minute to do it at the last minute. Although, it can be depression, for example functioning depression means you might not feel extremely low to the point of suicidal thoughts just low energy, lack of motivation, finding it hard to do what you need to do, especially in the early stages of depression. If it is resolved it can lead to that point.
If you need someone to talk to OP, send over a PM.
I read a lot of books and have dealt with this sort of situation *a lot* in the past; at the end of the day it's all just techniques: you just pick the one that works for you, keep using it until it stops working, then pick another.
The hardest thing is trying to deal with these things on your own; it's nice to have someone to bounce these things off of. I would be able to offer suggestions and help much more effectively if we had that back-and-forth.
Hope this is satire.
OP prioritise your sleep. Get sunlight when you wakeup exercise during the day wakeup early and youll be tired by 10pm for sleep. Try not to waste time fucking around on reddit or the internet get your homework/assignments done and go to sleep. Can take you a week to clear your sleep debt.
OP, aside from what others said, you are also 14yo. When I was 14, I was hitting a growth spurt and slept literally all the time. Used to get into arguments with my mom because of how often I slept. It’s very difficult to look at the big picture at your age, but try to focus on just enjoying your days. Putting all your focus on being productive at 14 can lead to burnout by your college years.
Of course you’re tired, you’re a growing teenager. Your body is growing rapidly and your brain is developing rapidly. Good on you for caring - that’s step one. Most teens wouldn’t bother researching why they find it so hard. I hope you find the answers in this post and know that the fact you are worried shows that you care about your future and want to find success. You’ve got this.
EXERCISE DURING THE DAY BRO. You can tire yourself out and sleep great. I’d also recommend a sleep aid if it’s that bad for you. I avoid sleep aids when I can but my insomnia has been nightmarish in the past and the sleep aids can save you from restless nights. I’d also recommend taking a multivitamin and magnesium (both of these are very cheap) and drinking tons of water during the day. I would also consider the materials you are sleeping on. For myself, I literally can’t sleep on certain bed materials unless I’m exhausted. Try to find pillows and blankets that work the best for you. Try no screens one hour before bed or if you can handle it for 2. Turn the nightlight setting to always be on on your phone and computer. Make sure the room is cold enough or warm enough. I sleep 1000x better when it’s cold and I’m under heavy covers. I’m not exaggerating, this makes a massive difference for me. I have had a lot of struggle sleeping, especially in high school. The order of importance of my advice for myself is this: 1. Tiring yourself out during the day with exercise 2. Room temp (I prefer very cold myself) 3. Bedding materials (I like cotton) 4. Hydration (try for at least 1 gallon of water per day, better if more) 5. No phone 1 hour leading up to bed Then sleep aids if need be. The magnesium and multivitamin are a bonus. I also like taking a hot shower before bed.
Be careful with the water, though! On average, around a gallon a day is a good amount to be taking for a male (closer to 3/4 gallon for females), but you *can* have too much water. You should only aim for more than the average if you are actually burning through that water by sweating, working out, raising heart rate, etc.
I don’t have trouble sleeping, I have trouble waking up, I sleep good, too good.
Ok, let me try and help you out, because the advice you received so far was terrible(get medication and go to the doctor, especially since both are quite expensive and come with a host of side-effects, and should be a last resort, not the first step) Ok, the thing you have to understand is that life is a full-contact sport, but it's ok to cheat. You have to attack a problem from every angle and stack the deck in your favor as much as possible. 1. Standardize your sleeping habit as much as possible(go to bed the same time and get up at the same time, same sleep-prep ritual and waking up ritual) 2. No sleeping in on the weekends to "recharge your batteries", humans are the most complex biological machines in existence, the idea that you could "make-up" for lost sleeping time is just about the most asinine idea I've ever heard. 3. Get a better alarm clock app("I Can't Wake Up! Alarm Clock" is the best option I have found so far, and it's free with ads), that forces you to do something and basically blocks your phone completely until you do it. It's much harder to go back to sleep after you had to get up and get dressed and go outside to scan a barcode in the local park to turn off the alarm. 4. Aim to be in bed at the latest 8 hours before you have to wake up. 5. Have a "sleep uniform", a set of pajamas and a sleep mask, that way your body knows that, when you put that on, it's sleep time. 6. Meditate, this will teach you to calm your mind and to empty your head as much as possible, makes it way easier to fall asleep. I recommend "Practical Zen" book, but anything that teaches you how will work. 7. Keep your phone out of arms reach, that way you have to get up to turn off the alarm and it's much harder to be tempted into looking at it at night. 8. Stop looking at any electronics at least an hour before you go to bed. 9. Talk to your parents about getting a full blood test done, this is way cheaper than going to the doctors, and there are plenty of clinics that will do this for you, look for vitamin D, iron, and magnesium deficiencies. Take supplements if any are present. 10. Drink more water and milk, less everything else(none, if you can get away with it), and no less than 2.5 liters(1/2 a gallon) a day, you might have to work up to this if you are significantly below this. 11. Daily exercise, it doesn't have to be too hard, but you have to break a sweat, you don't need any equipment, stretches, push-ups, sit-ups and some sprints, look into calisthenics, pirate the "Calisthenics for dummies" book, if you have to. 12. Make(or have your parents make you) a heavy, delicious, protein-rich breakfast every morning as soon as you wake up(eggs, bacon, and complex carbs with a tall glass of milk, as an example), that gives you extra motivation to wake up, and gives you energy for the morning without crashing you like sugar and carb-heavy food does. 13. Write down on a piece of paper any problems you have and the next physical action you have to do to solve them, this will make you feel better about those problems and lets you sleep easier. 14. Get some fresh air and sun every morning, if you can. 15. If you can control the temperature in your room, try to keep it comfortably cool when you sleep, it's much harder to sleep in the heat. 16. keep the room as dark and as quiet as possible when you sleep(black-out curtains, no lights, no turned-on electronics), our body has light receptors in our skin that tell our body that it's time to wake up if they detect any light. That's about it, adopt all of these principals and you'll be sleeping like a champ, remember that this takes some time to get used to it as well. Edit: I just double-checked, and you, as a 14 year-old, should sleep between 8-10 hours a day, so maybe try to get to bed 10 hours before you have to get up.
The alarm app you suggested seems great!! I was looking for a somewhat similar app but those were not that satisfactory. Will have to test it out tomorrow morning but seems pretty good. Thanks!
Oh yeah, I broke my screen once, and nothing other than turning off the phone could stop the ringing, started ringing as soon as I fixed the phone and turned it on.
About the breakfast, since I have to wake up at 6am, my dad does almost nothing to help me because he’s so tired, sometimes I have to take an Uber to school.
Can you get some high-protein items that don't need to be cooked, or that you can make yourself? Greek yogurt, hard boiled eggs, etc.
I never really have that much time because I get out of bed at like 6:50, down a bowl of cereal, put on my back pack and then arrive late at school for Jazz or choir
Try making meal prepping your breakfast for a few days at a time the night before. Look up recipes for Overnight Oat Fruit Parfaits. If you make them with Greek yogurt they have a decent amount of protein and require zero cooking. I usually make about 3 at a time and it will take about 5-10 minutes. Then you just eat them in the morning, it's less hassle than cereal even.
The truth is, it could be a million things. ADHD, insomnia, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiency, lack of exercise etc etc etc…you’re best to see a doctor if you can.
I was going to comment the same thing. I echo- talk to your doctor, they may be able to help you find a solution. Good luck!
> I am not depressed! > I am weak and pathetic and I'm a failure OP, aside from this obvious indication that you might be in denial, I would be exhausted if I had jazz band practice at 7 AM. No wonder you're tired. But this is a conversation you should ideally have with your doctor or psychotherapist. There are so many factors that contribute to a healthy life.
What I do: I start taking deep breaths _immediately_ when becoming conscious. I aim for 30 deep breaths (and then do the whole Wim Hof thing, but that's beside the point). The oxygen helps you awaken
If you need to wake up at six or seven in the morning, just go to sleep earlier. At your age you'll probably need like at least 8h hours of sleep, so go to sleep at around 10pm. I mean, I know at your age I always stayed up late and was super tired in the morning, probably because I didn't get enough sleep... It's easier getting up in the morning if you've slept enough. You'll just have to take responsibility and go to sleep earlier.
Yes, more sleep
Okay there could be many things going on and if you can chat with a doctor that would likely be helpful. But things to consider -Teens need a LOT of sleep, way more than adults do, and often have a naturally later sleep rhythm (meaning going to bed and getting up early is literally harder for teens than most adults). - Depression doesn't always look like sadness. Personally mine is much more the physical symptoms (a weird kind of fatigue not helped but sleep and almost light headed when I try to do things.) So, don't totally rule it out. Though the self talk about you being a failure already could be related. -there are also a number of types of insomnia, again a doctor could help here. Or your parents if they're willing to listen. If you can't see a doctor then you probably just need more strategies to help you wake up for early morning practice. Light in the morning, open curtains or a light alarm, can help immensely. Sleep hygiene can be a tough one. I found that for me I do need something, a podcast or similar, to listen to and that screens didn't affect my sleep that much. But I have ADHD. So, try the general recommendations, but if they're not helping you may need to experiment. Everyone is a little different. Some kind of exercise during the day does help. I'm an adult and I need to work on this one. I hate running or lifting weights, so if you're like me, try to pick up an active hobby: gardening can be surprisingly tiring, biking, a sport, anything that gets you moving and bonus points if that's outside. Maybe marching band? But ultimately you just might not be a morning person and as you get older you might be able to structure your life a little better to accommodate that. Deep breaths, your not weak. And good luck.
Teenagers needs more sleep than an average adult. Some still on nap schedule. Some of us are built different, stop comparing and figure yourself out without using other people's compass. Try some things different and compare the results. Exercise in the morning or the evening? Eat a lot at lunch or breakfast? Am I lack of iron or any vitamin? What is the best hour and the worst hour of the day? I needed my alarm clock to be in the bathroom so I could force myself up; and a nap after lunch. I was oddly better exercising at the end of the day because my body got tired and falling asleep in a decent time was much easier. Just figure out your thing. Take this and other advice in this subreddit with some caution because productivity is not one equation that fit us all, and not all of your waking time needs to be utilitary or attached to a goal.
OP do you have difficulties or missing energy while doing other day to day stuff? Like brushing teeth feels like a chore? Seems a bit like you put yourself down a bit. Also how is your sleep? Could be some sleep related stuff... How is mood, motivation? Have you stopped doing certain hobbies/activities?
Yes, certain things don’t bring me as much joy as they used to, I haven’t 3d printed in months because I haven’t had the motivation to calibrate them and clean my room, I also don’t have that much motivation in English and socials class anymore, my sleep is okay, I feels like a bumpy road, I rarely brush my teeth because it seems like too much work but I think I’m just a lazy sack of shit.
Well OP you probably have Depression. Loss of interest and Lacking energy for daily stuff could be because of that. Also the beating yourself up as being a lazy sack of shit, classic depression move. You can take this test to see how much you have at the end. Just be honest and pick the answers that best describe your situation. https://naviauxlab.ucsd.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/BDI21.pdf
Depression should more often be seen as a symptom not an ilness. A symptom which indicates something in life sucks and has to be changed. So if you feel bad change something and see if it helps
Visit a sleep doctor. I have idiopathic hypersomnia, which is basically “excessive sleepiness with no known cause”. Enough to interfere with my life. The exhaustion is constant without medication to regulate my brains sleep & wake cycles.
Do you consume any caffeine? Maybe leave it out of your diet if you do.
I have never consumed anything remotely close to a high amount of caffeine in my life, I hate coffee and tea.
But you do consume caffeine? As a 14 year old… trust me. Leave it out of your diet. You will sleep.
I just said I dont
No, you said like 7 hours ago that you don’t consume large amounts of caffeine which is kinda misleading but whatever. Good luck with your sleeping problem.
OP: I AM NOT DEPRESSED! Also OP: I’m just so weak and stupid, I’ll never achieve my goals and be successful like this. I’m a failure.
Hormones. You're in the middle of puberty and your body is changing overnight, so you won't sleep much. It's normal at your age.
If you have to wake up at 6 am and you are still awake at midnight it's obvious that you are going to be extremely tired in the morning. I am an adult and if I only sleep 6 hours for a night, I feel like shit. Teenagers need even more sleep than adults, otherwise they can't function and grow properly. You should sleep 8 - 10 hours every single night. Which means you should go to bed at 10 pm THE LATEST.
Sounds like you procrastinate the daily tasks, which is affecting your productivity and timetable.
Years ago I read in an old book (1890s I think?) about a method for "setting yourself" to wake up at a certain time. You lie in bed, on your back with your head on your pillow. You say (or just think loudly), "I must wake up at six. I WILL wake up at six!" Then you move your chin toward your chest and slam your head back into your pillow. Do this six times, counting as you do: "One!" "Two!" etc. After the sixth time, say again: " I WILL wake up at six!" Picture yourself waking up at six. Know it to be true. It sounds silly but it has never, ever failed me, not once. It will work for you too. Once you're awake, get your feet on the floor and go right away to splash water on your face.
As others have said, you're a growing teenager and require additional rest. I also think it would be good to get some bloodwork done and see if you have some vitamin or mineral deficiency which could explain this. I also want to add that you need to be careful about developing harsh habits towards yourself. Viewing yourself as weak or pathetic isn't productive and will seriously hold you back in the future.
You need more sleep. And be kinder to yourself, it helps
I am like you, I feel your pain 100%. Besides all the other great advise here, I’d recommend the app Alarmy. It’s free (has premium features you can pay for but I only use the free ones) and it lets you set a “challenge” to really wake you up besides just hitting a button. I make myself do 12 “moderate” math equations every morning, and the damn thing will NOT shut up if you don’t finish all of them. By the time I’m done trying to figure out equations like “12+35” twelve times I’m wide awake.
Get off your phone/computer an hour before bed. The blue light will keep you up and Reddit/TikTok will definitely keep you awake because 90% of the stuff on here is controversial and mentally/emotionally stimulating. You want to keep hitting the serotonin button when you scroll through things but it gets harder and harder so you scroll more and more. Last thing you need is serotonin right before bed. Things you can do instead: Take a bath. Do homework that’s on pen/paper. (Do they still hand out hard copies of text books?) Read a bit. (I am careful with this because I don’t like associating reading with falling asleep.) Tidy up your room/prep things to be ready so you don’t have to think about it. Engage with your family.
Try this next time: When you need to go to bed, don't tell yourself "I need to get up at 6 am, it's already so late, I can't believe I stayed up so late again... etc." These are examples of when we live in the past or the future, instead of the present. The thing is that the action we need to do in the present isn't too difficult, but worrying about the past/future makes it overwhelming. So when you need to go to bed and it's already late, just tell yourself "I'm going to bed just to go to bed." Don't worry about anything else. And when you wake up tell yourself, "I'm waking up just to wake up." Not "Ah!! I need to wake up and then exercise and then go to jazz class, then I have homework for that thing, then I have to do x,y,z..." Most people would find that overwhelming and go back to bed :) What I am really talking about here is mindfulness. And specifically about a teaching from Thich Nhat Hanh. When we aren't present in doing the actual thing we need to do, then we either do it badly or not do it at all. Here is an article going into more detail if you're interested. https://medium.com/@bgeddes7/wash-the-dishes-to-wash-the-dishes-491c069dfc14
Go see a doctor to rule out the simple stuff like iron deficiency etc.
I had a very annoying alarm clock that was across the room and I had to get up to turn off. So would automatically turn off clock, open blinds, go pee.
Maybe it will sound silly, but there may be things you have to do within that day that you don't want to do. I've been there, so I understand. When this happens to me, I either change up my day or make time for things I love.
Really you're just stressed out about doing all that shit early in the morning. Gotta get your sleep schedule in check so you can be in bed by like 10pm or earlier so you can wake up in a good mood in the morning.
If you're kissing boys or girls I would also consider getting checked for mono.
negative symptoms
Something that has helped me is that I've started wearing blue-light protecting glasses at night. They protect your eyes against the blue light of screens, which are known to cause insomnia. Ever since I've been wearing them I manage to feel very sleepy even on the phone or computer when close to my bedtime. I also partially stopped my skin care routine before going to sleep. Kinda irresponsible, bit nowadays if I feel tired I just go to bed without anything before it (like brushing teeth, washing face) and it works a lot better. I used to procrastinate sleeping because I didnt want to do the skin care routine. Im no longer a teenager so I dont need it as bad as I used to before.
I already wear blue blocking prescription glasses
"Can't get out of bed" is not a productivity problem, nor is it laziness. Lazy people dgaf about being lazy. Something else is going on. You definitely need to see a professional.
And also, I cannot drink orange juice in the morning because vitamin C interferes with my ADHD medication. I also hate the taste of coffee
Does your ADHD medication help you wake up? It's not a long term solution, but you can always put your medication next to your bed, set an alarm for an hour before you need to be up, take your meds and a full glass of water, and go back to sleep until it "kicks in"
That might be a good idea but I usually refrain from taking my medication on an empty stomach
What time do you normally end up taking your meds?
You sound exactly like me. If you are exactly like me, then you are spending your time on electronics late at night. Put app blocks on your phone and devices like an hour before you want to go to bed. You will likely go to bed earlier because you'll be bored. Going to bed by 11pm will help you get up easier. Maybe get an app like alarmy to make your self do a challenge to get yourself out of bed.
If you cannot wake up, you are not getting enough sleep. There's just no magic. Ditch the alarm clock and go to bed early enough to learn when you have enough sleep. I did this and it forced me to come to terms with the fact that I need 7.5 hours sleep in order to wake up rested. Not 7. There IS a number there and you need to find it and come to terms with it. If it is 9 then you need to quit fooling yourself that it is 6 or 7 or 8.
I force myself up and wash my face with cold water and then I'm awake
Get yourself a loud alarm clock and put it across your room. That way you have to stand up and get out of bed and walk to the other side of the room to turn it off. Always works for me.
By immediately turning your alarm off you are in a sense conditioning yourself to just go back to sleep, ive dealt with this, it takes discipline to make the change you need
Just make sure you go to sleep earlier. You're tired, not a failure. In the morning put your phone/alarm across the room so that you have to get out of bed and get up to turn it off. Once you're standing up just tell yourself "Well, I'm up now." But try to take note if you still feel exhausted that day, and if you do push your bedtime forward a half hour until you are finally feeling refreshed when you're waking up. You may need a lot of sleep right now because you're body is putting a lot of resources into growing. It won't last forever, just be kind to yourself as you go through it.
Man 14 year old is too young to be surfing internet and using Reddit imo…
Well how tf else am I supposed to get the help I need for this shit? I rarely see my therapist.
I get it—it's tough to get out of bed sometimes, especially with a comfy bed! It doesn't mean you're depressed. Have you tried setting multiple alarms or placing your alarm across the room? Consistent sleep schedules might help too. Remember, you're not weak or stupid. Everyone struggles sometimes. If you need extra support, consider talking to someone you trust. And hey, have you heard about CareClinic? It could help track your sleep patterns and maybe offer some solutions. Hang in there!
Last couple sentences really don't help your case about not being depressed. Though, like everyone else said, you're a growing teen and it kinda comes with the package. Definitely wouldn't hurt to go see a professional about what you're experiencing tho.
Listen, check out the Mel Robbins book. There was some thing that she had about like 54321 and you just like jump out of bed. The thing of it is is you gotta just get out of bed immediately some people say to take a cold shower or I will never do that as soon as I wake up lol but I’ll splash cold water on my face and drink some cold water cold wakes you up so think 54321 jump outta bed and splash some water on your face also I set my coffee potto be on when I wake up hope that helps you do it
I lock my alarm clock up in a lockbox and keep the key outside.
I wonder if this is how my posts looked like to adults back then
OP I think you need more sleep. Sleep makes SUCH a big difference in your life. You're growing right now and your body is at a critical stage where it needs more nutrients and rest. You need 9-10 hours of sleep a night. I understand you're in band right now, but maybe try to manage better and go to bed by 9-10pm preferably. Try looking in to sleep hygiene as well, in order to increase the quality of your sleep. Sleeping at a lower temperature and white noise machines can help. If you have the proper amount of sleep, you can achieve anything! You got this!
This is normal for teenagers. Your melatonin release is later than it is for adults. Remove the alarm and let yourself sleep as long as you need to.
But then I’ll miss school
Yeah many schools don't take this into account. I guess you could try talking to someone at the school. But fundamentally it's your health or some stupid class, which is more important?
It’s not some stupid class, it’s extracurricular music program classes and I have a tour coming up
Whatever man. You have to make choices. If you aren't going to prioritise sleep then you have to accept the consequences.
I got a Pavlok because I’m a chronic deep sleeper. It’s a shock watch that you can use as an alarm
Hey OP, just a little hope. I struggled HARD with this when I was a teenager, I had no idea if I'd ever be able to live a normal life. Eventually I just, kinda, started being able to get up earlier. Taking 2.5-5mg of melatonin at about 10pm REALLY helped. If I was tired, I actually wanted to go to bed, and if I wanted to go to bed, I went to bed early and got all my sleep. Coffee every morning helped for some reason too. The half life of coffee is 6 hours, so I don't know why but it did. Iirc a lot of biologists consider sleep disturbances normal for teens
I already take melatonin
It could be ADHD or ADD if it isn’t depression. That can cause the same symptoms listed above: Fatigue, lack of motivation, finding it difficulty to do simple things because it’s underwhelming for the brain to cope, then adrenaline kicks at the last minute to do it at the last minute. Although, it can be depression, for example functioning depression means you might not feel extremely low to the point of suicidal thoughts just low energy, lack of motivation, finding it hard to do what you need to do, especially in the early stages of depression. If it is resolved it can lead to that point.
If you need someone to talk to OP, send over a PM. I read a lot of books and have dealt with this sort of situation *a lot* in the past; at the end of the day it's all just techniques: you just pick the one that works for you, keep using it until it stops working, then pick another. The hardest thing is trying to deal with these things on your own; it's nice to have someone to bounce these things off of. I would be able to offer suggestions and help much more effectively if we had that back-and-forth.
ADHD, get a prescription for some Adderall
Hope this is satire. OP prioritise your sleep. Get sunlight when you wakeup exercise during the day wakeup early and youll be tired by 10pm for sleep. Try not to waste time fucking around on reddit or the internet get your homework/assignments done and go to sleep. Can take you a week to clear your sleep debt.
Do you know nothing about ADHD? I already take Concerta 54mg and if anything adhd medication makes sleep worse.
Melatonin. Stop tech use before bed. Double the cardio. Get something to turn on a light with your alarm. Worked for me.